...tacky?

[jstarfireb]

FWIW, I never got wind that any of my wedding guests thought it was tacky...but even if people did, I wouldn''t care. It was right for us at this point in our lives. Also, he''s Chinese-American, and their traditional gift is money in a red envelope, so all of his guests were fine with it. Those who didn''t feel comfortable giving cash bought the few items we had on our Target and Amazon registries, or they came up with something themeselves (we got a lovely oil painting done by one of our guests, for example). I think the guests understood the reasoning behind it...that we couldn''t afford to give ourselves a wonderful honeymoon without their gifts, while at the same time, we just didn''t need more physical stuff. We''re living in small apartments in 2 different cities, and we''re not really the type to entertain, so we wouldn''t register for china or anything. Plus, I wrote a cute little poem on the website explaining the situation and encouraging people to help us out for our honeymoon. I don''t regret it one bit. Go for it!

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 6/21/2009 4:44:14 AM
Author: honey22

Date: 6/16/2009 10:37:31 PM
Author: purrfectpear
In extremely poor taste. I realize that some may say it''s OK, but people with breeding will know it is wrong. Ditto cash bars, dollar dances, and any other tacky idea.

A bit harsh PP! Maybe get off your high horse and accept that other people find these totally acceptable. To assume their ''breeding'' is lacking is just plain rude. I would have thought that it''s just plain manners to be tolerant of others?

They are very common here in Oz, I really can''t see any difference between a gift registry and a honeymoon registry.

Must be...I just got a wedding invite to Sydney that had a poem about a "wishing well" included.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

what the heck is a wishing well lol
is that when you throw the money in a well and make a wish for the couple and then the couple keeps the money?
i would never do that haha

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

Date: 6/22/2009 12:56:40 AM
Author: Smurfyimproved
what the heck is a wishing well lol
is that when you throw the money in a well and make a wish for the couple and then the couple keeps the money?
i would never do that haha

this is a wishing well.. usually it is on the present table for people to put their gifts of cash in.. i am embarrassed to say i have seen a few and they are available to hire or buy...

and you thought honeymoon fund was tacky?

 

[Cass]

Smurfy girl, I just had to chime in and say that you should go for it! I don''t think it is tacky at all.

Personally, as a guest of a wedding I want to give the wedding couple what they want or need... and I''m sorry, but people should realize that not all couples need toasters and china. After throwing a wedding people usually need money!

Why ask for things you don''t want or need? Oh, I know... exactly why I am doing it! Because too many people are in the mindset of different times, when the parents of the bride usually paid for the wedding and when couples didn''t live together before being married, therefore didn''t have a lot of the essentials, and it would considered tacky to ask for money.

I hope you get your honeymoon!

 

[lilmissrugger]

I''ve recently been reading a big wedding planning book (I''m addicted...I think I may have to check myself in to somewhere...lol)done by a woman who has done many celebrity weddings, etc- and if I hadn''t left the dang book at the FF''s house, I would be giving you the name--

BUT- basically, it''s a huge wedding planning book for the modern bride, and while it kind of gives the cold shoulder to a cash bar (sorry!) it does say that a honeymoon registry is perfectly acceptable, as long as
a) you have a couple other registries (or at least one) for those folks who DO want to give you a tangible, can actually see you using it for years gift
and
b) you follow the etiquette of not mentioning it to guests in an invitation, but letting your family and bridal party spread the news by word of mouth if asked, or by displaying it tastefully on your wedding website, along with the other registries.
(of course, you can put on the invitation the address to your wedding website, where your guests can keep updated on your wedding, read your story, look at pics, get maps, etc)

Good luck with whatever you choose!!

 

[Lilac]

We registered at Bed, Bath, and Beyond because they let you return your gifts from your wedding registry for cash. We registered for items in ALL price ranges, so if someone wanted to buy something less expensive they could, and if someone wanted to spend more money they could. Most of the stuff we registered for we kept, but there were a bunch of things we returned (or even somehow got multiples of them even though they were supposed to be bought directly off the registry) and got cash back for that stuff. We used the cash to buy furniture, contribute to our honeymoon, etc. This way we got the things we actually needed to set up our new home, but the stuff we didn''t need we were able to get money for to use for what we wanted.

I had never heard of a honeymoon registry before my wedding (I don''t think I would have done it anyway, but truthfully I don''t see how it''s much different than a regular gift registry). I think if you don''t think your family is the type to get offended, then you should do it.

 

[beach]

I like a site called honeyfund.

 

[meresal]

Smurfy, if anyone thinks it is tacky, this is one of those things that no one will say to your face. They will grumble when they see the registry, and simply buy what they want off of the regular registry.

Some people like them, some people don't. No one will make a big deal about it.

ETA: I would definitely check with you parents though. The people that would "grumble" will more than likely be their freinds, and they may not like the way it makes them look. If they don't care, then by all means...

 

[NuggetBrain]

Date: 6/16/2009 10:37:31 PM
Author: purrfectpear
In extremely poor taste. I realize that some may say it''s OK, but people with breeding will know it is wrong. Ditto cash bars, dollar dances, and any other tacky idea.

I was always under the impression that people with true breeding didn''t feel the need to point their breeding out to people with snide remarks. That''s just me though.

My FI wants to do a honeymoon registry because we have everything for our house we could need. I was (and still kind of am) on the fence, so I asked some folks in my mom''s generation and a few friends, and they all said that they didn''t think it was tacky. However, I''m still including a regular registry. And for our honeymoon registry, we''re not asking for hotel or airfare, but rather excurstions and whatnot (we''re going to Costa Rica so there''s lots to do). And we''re making sure to take photos of us on all the excursions or at any dinners or anything, and including that photo in the thank you cards (so if someone contributed towards ziplining, they''d get a pic of us on the line). I think its a nice way of making sure that people know you used what they gave you for what you said you would.

 

[hawaiianorangetree]

Date: 6/22/2009 1:15:01 PM
Author: NuggetBrain

Date: 6/16/2009 10:37:31 PM
Author: purrfectpear
In extremely poor taste. I realize that some may say it''s OK, but people with breeding will know it is wrong. Ditto cash bars, dollar dances, and any other tacky idea.

I was always under the impression that people with true breeding didn''t feel the need to point their breeding out to people with snide remarks. That''s just me though.

My FI wants to do a honeymoon registry because we have everything for our house we could need. I was (and still kind of am) on the fence, so I asked some folks in my mom''s generation and a few friends, and they all said that they didn''t think it was tacky. However, I''m still including a regular registry. And for our honeymoon registry, we''re not asking for hotel or airfare, but rather excurstions and whatnot (we''re going to Costa Rica so there''s lots to do). And we''re making sure to take photos of us on all the excursions or at any dinners or anything, and including that photo in the thank you cards (so if someone contributed towards ziplining, they''d get a pic of us on the line). I think its a nice way of making sure that people know you used what they gave you for what you said you would.

but she would know the proper wedding etiquette nuggetbrain... she has been married 4 times.

 

[vip0802]

i don''t think it''s tacky since you also registered at Target. i like the idea that your guests have the choice to either give you a gift or contribute to your honeymoon. congrats on your upcoming wedding btw!

not to get sidetracked but, depending on the nationality or heritage of the bride and/or groom, a dollar dance or money dance for example, is not tacky at all. in fact it''s customary in Polish and Filipino weddings...as well as others i''m sure. i''m Vietnamese and Chinese-American and like jstarfireb said, money in little red envelopes are traditional gifts. even wearing white (and blue also i believe) is bad luck at a Chinese wedding. anyway, my point is that there are so many cultures and traditions of weddings that something "tacky" at one, may not be so at another.

 

[trillionaire]

Personally, as a guest, I feel that the more options I have for how to give a gift, the better. Gift registries seem so stuffy and boring, I almost never use them. I give gifts that I think will fit the couple, and I would be happy to chip in for honeymoon expenses, but sheets or utensils???? BLAAAAAH! Never.

I'm mid twenties though, and fairly non-traditional, FWIW.

And clearly ill-bred, to boot.