Thank you card for people who didn''t send gifts?

[selflove]

Date: 1/17/2006 3:54:45 PM
Author: FireGoddess

Date: 1/17/2006 12:33:47 PM
Author: Caribou

That''s another good question.....are you suppose to give wedding shower gifts and wedding gifts?

I never have, I always thought that was the point of getting a shower, do receive gifts then.

I give a gift for the wedding, whether I attend or not, if I am invited.

For the bridal shower, I also bring a smaller gift, but only if I attend the shower.

I thought this was proper etiquette? I''ve always grown up seeing this done, and that''s how I''ve done it...

I agree with FireGoddess: gift for the shower if you attend (and if it''s a "bridal" shower then I get something for the BRIDE, not something from the registry) and another gift (from the registry) for the wedding.

Ivana--I wouldn''t feel weird about these coming 5 months post-wedding...some people send gifts later and a lot of people thinks it''s acceptable etiquette to send gifts within 12 months of the wedding.

 

[appletini]

Date: 1/17/2006 4:19:30 PM
Author: appletini
I don''t think you should expect the gift thats what showers are for, but I don''t think you need to thank them for coming to your wedding, they should thank you for buying their dinner and drinks for the night.

Let me further clarify, if a person has already given me a shower gift, its not like they didn''t give me anything at all, however if they didn''t attend showers and were only invited to the wedding then yes they should send a gift. I always give gifts for both showers and the wedding. I always do the wedding gift online and have it sent directly to the bride for her convenience.

 

[dazedland]

Even if there weren''t any gifts I would send a thank you for attending the wedding or whatever they did attend. If they didn''t attend and they didn''t send a present, there''s nothing to thank them for IMO.

 

[FireGoddess]

One thing I wanted to throw into the mix was something I didn''t learn until about 2 years ago - I always thought the presents were supposed to be brought to the reception - till someone told me that it was inconsiderate. I was like, "What????" She told me that it''s inconsiderate because then the bride and groom have to deal with having someone (or doing it themselves) schlep the gifts somewhere. If you order gifts online and have them sent directly to them before the wedding (or buy gifts and ship them yourselves) it''s much more thoughtful, and preferred, since they don''t have to transport them. Until I had been in a flurry of weddings myself (and had to deal with schlepping gifts from the reception) I had no idea about this!

 

[ivanadiamond]

I have been ordering gifts for weddings on-line for the last several years and not only is it easier for me but it is way easier for the bride and groom.

I loved coming home everyday for months before the wedding to boxes at our doorstep. It made the whole process so fun and exciting...we felt so loved reading the cards and opening the gifts. And at our reception, it was difficult getting the gifts home because we were going on our honeymoon the next morning and stayingat a hotel. My parents had to hire a guy with a van to follow them home at 1:00 AM and they were so tired from the festivities and had to take several trips from the van so late in at night, only to deliver them to our house 2 weeks later...So I think ordering on-line is the way to go! I lurved it~

 

[Caribou]

Date: 1/18/2006 1:32:37 PM
Author: FireGoddess
One thing I wanted to throw into the mix was something I didn''t learn until about 2 years ago - I always thought the presents were supposed to be brought to the reception - till someone told me that it was inconsiderate. I was like, ''What????'' She told me that it''s inconsiderate because then the bride and groom have to deal with having someone (or doing it themselves) schlep the gifts somewhere. If you order gifts online and have them sent directly to them before the wedding (or buy gifts and ship them yourselves) it''s much more thoughtful, and preferred, since they don''t have to transport them. Until I had been in a flurry of weddings myself (and had to deal with schlepping gifts from the reception) I had no idea about this!

I''ve heard this too, but my thought is, I don''t care if I have to schelp the gifts to my car...THEY ARE GIFTS, I''ll carry them on my back to get them home if I have to!!!!

 

[tanyak]

Date: 1/18/2006 3:03:37 PM
Author: Caribou

Date: 1/18/2006 1:32:37 PM
Author: FireGoddess
One thing I wanted to throw into the mix was something I didn''t learn until about 2 years ago - I always thought the presents were supposed to be brought to the reception - till someone told me that it was inconsiderate. I was like, ''What????'' She told me that it''s inconsiderate because then the bride and groom have to deal with having someone (or doing it themselves) schlep the gifts somewhere. If you order gifts online and have them sent directly to them before the wedding (or buy gifts and ship them yourselves) it''s much more thoughtful, and preferred, since they don''t have to transport them. Until I had been in a flurry of weddings myself (and had to deal with schlepping gifts from the reception) I had no idea about this!

I''ve heard this too, but my thought is, I don''t care if I have to schelp the gifts to my car...THEY ARE GIFTS, I''ll carry them on my back to get them home if I have to!!!!

That''s true.

It''s nice to have gifts sent via mail. But you''d be surprised the number of people who still don''t shop online (my FH included). Plus if you live in the area, it seems a little silly to add $7 or $8 dollars to the price just to mail it across town. I guess you could drop it off before the wedding...

 

[cpster]

I agree with FireGoddess too. I usaually give a shower gift if I attend and a wedding gift.

On a slightly different note, has anyone given a wedding gift and NOT gotten a thank you gift? It happenned to me and I think I''m still annoyed by this.

I even asked her if she got my gift to make sure...and still no card. Maybe she never sent out any cards? I guess I should ask my other friends to see if they got one. I know I was bad and slow getting the TY cards out, but it''s been over a year.

 

[PearPear]

Date: 1/21/2006 3:03:01 AM
Author: cpster
I agree with FireGoddess too. I usaually give a shower gift if I attend and a wedding gift.


On a slightly different note, has anyone given a wedding gift and NOT gotten a thank you gift? It happenned to me and I think I''m still annoyed by this.

I even asked her if she got my gift to make sure...and still no card. Maybe she never sent out any cards? I guess I should ask my other friends to see if they got one. I know I was bad and slow getting the TY cards out, but it''s been over a year.

I too, gave a monitary gift and didn''t receive a Thank You.

I''ll always remember that; and that just hammers home my belief of sending TY''s to people who gave a gift!

 

[Anastasia]

My favorite "Thank You" was from my cousin''s daughter. I was invited to her wedding, but did not attend. (We are not close AT ALL) I went to the store, purchased something from her registry and had it sent to her. Quite a while after the wedding, I received a computer printed note. It said something to the effect of: This is the bride''s mother. Since we all know the bride is so terrible about writing thank you notes, I am doing it for her. Thank you for your monetary gift. It will be a great help in setting up their new home.

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I thought this was the tackiest thing ever. The bride couldn''t be bothered to write a thank you note, and when her mother did it for her - she didn''t acknowledge the correct gift.

I give a gift if attending the shower. If I am invited and can''t attend, I don''t usually bother, unless it is someone I am very close to. I usually send a gift whether or not I attend the wedding. I usually spend a little less if I don''t attend. I either give a check or something from the registry.

I have never heard of sending a thank you note to someone who doesn''t send a gift. I have mixed feelings about it. I think it is very sweet, but I think some people could take it as a guilt trip. I am not saying that is your intention, but I think it could be interpreted that way.