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The Adult Entertainment Expo...

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FrekeChild

FrekeChild

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...is January 7th-10th, 2010 at the Sands Expo and Convention Center in Las Vegas NV.

Our wedding is January 9th, 2010 at Mandalay Bay.

I cannot stop giggling at this. I knew it before when I saw that it was the same weekend 2009, but I actually did some poking around today, and discovered that tickets are already on sale. That made it a LOT more real.

And FI wants to go for our bachelor/ette party.

Tee hee hee...
 
OMG that is hilarious!! I knew a girl who went to this every year with her hubby...they were so "normal" on the outside, but a little freaky, too, I guess!!

Well, all I can say is that there will definitely be some intersting people in town!! Lots of great people watching!!

U guys should go, that would just be too funny...and memorable for sure!!
 
SERIOUSLY Rock of Love! FI and I were poking around the site for it earlier, and he busts out with a "We should go! That would be something that would be really unique for a wedding experience. What do you think?"

And I''m totally for it. I don''t know how many people would be up for going with us, but I think it''d be fun! Plus, it''d make for some GREAT pics! Lol!

(Not to mention FI''s BM is this totally geeky awkward Chinese guy who is all into video games, who has probably never met a stripper in real life, much less a **** STAR. Oh, the fun to be had...)
 
OMG that''s great!!! I think you could have so much fun (innocent of course) with that!
 
I guess you can have a good time since you are both into it. I however, am struggling with my fiances desires for the traditional bachelor party in Vegas with a trip to the strip club. I can''t get over my resentment and anxiety that he wants to do it. So much so, that I don''t know that I can marry him. He just today told me that he may not be able to arrange it with his friends until AFTER the wedding. I just feel sick. I don''t know what to do. Please give me advise that will help me. I wanted to marry him and be happy, but the thought of him in Vegas with strippers is beyond my ability to to adjust. He thinks I am being ridiculous, but I can''t get past this. What can I do? I''m afraid I will have to cancel the wedding to live with myself and not resent him forever........which would ruin our marriage.
 
Date: 7/19/2009 4:22:59 PM
Author: breezy
I guess you can have a good time since you are both into it. I however, am struggling with my fiances desires for the traditional bachelor party in Vegas with a trip to the strip club. I can''t get over my resentment and anxiety that he wants to do it. So much so, that I don''t know that I can marry him. He just today told me that he may not be able to arrange it with his friends until AFTER the wedding. I just feel sick. I don''t know what to do. Please give me advise that will help me. I wanted to marry him and be happy, but the thought of him in Vegas with strippers is beyond my ability to to adjust. He thinks I am being ridiculous, but I can''t get past this. What can I do? I''m afraid I will have to cancel the wedding to live with myself and not resent him forever........which would ruin our marriage.
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You know, this topic seems to come up a lot. There was a LIW not long ago that ended her relationship for a brief time because her BF liked going to strip clubs. They ended up working things out.

May I ask why you are anxious and resentful of him going through with this? Is it the thought of him being around semi-naked women? Or just you not being there? Is this an insecurity about you or a deep seated fear of cheating? Something else?

I think that if it is making you question your marriage and relationship as a whole, then it is something that you definitely need to have an in depth conversation about your relationship as well as the potential bachelor party with your fiance. What kind of conversations have you had about it?
 
Date: 7/19/2009 3:53:58 PM
Author: FrekeChild
SERIOUSLY Rock of Love! FI and I were poking around the site for it earlier, and he busts out with a ''We should go! That would be something that would be really unique for a wedding experience. What do you think?''

And I''m totally for it. I don''t know how many people would be up for going with us, but I think it''d be fun! Plus, it''d make for some GREAT pics! Lol!

(Not to mention FI''s BM is this totally geeky awkward Chinese guy who is all into video games, who has probably never met a stripper in real life, much less a **** STAR. Oh, the fun to be had...)
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IMO you should go for it!! It really depends on you and your FI''s personalities, but if it were me and my FFI, we would totally go!! Maybe pick something up for the wedding night, hee hee!!

I would only invite/tell friends that would have fun with it or be good natured about it. NO judgmentals or prudes!!

You gotta get a pic of the BM with some port star with GIGANTIC boobs!! Ha ha!! Not sure, but I think they would have video games there...things are getting pretty high tech!!
 
ETA: meant ****** star

But, yeah, you should incorporate into your bachelor/ette party...invite friends that would be into it and then go party after!!
 
Breezy -- you''re not alone in feeling that way. Many other Pricescope brides have faced similar concerns. Here''s the link to one recent thread; just search for "bachelor party" to find more:

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/how-am-i-supossed-to-deal-with-his-bachelor-party.79618/

A lot of women have done their best to explain their feelings on both sides of this question... maybe reading their views will be helpful to you.
 
Thank you for responding Frekechild.....I''m having a terrible day. This is the second time the subject has come up and we are polar opposites on the subject. I know many have varying opinions on this subject, and I am the farthest thing from a prude. I just believe all sexual situations belong within the relationship. He thinks strip clubs are harmless and won''t concede that others may feel differently. He resorts to saying that I am ridiculous and wrong......won''t consider that I just have a different opinion. To make matters worse, today he told me that he discussed the topic with his mother(apparantly after our first discussion ie. meltdown) and she told him he should go ahead and have his fun. I have liked her and she me, but now I have lost all respect for her and don''t want to have anything to do with her. What''s worse, I asked him if this is more important to him than I am---and he said yes. What am I to think. I know he likes to be "right" or "win", but that is an awful thing to say in my opinion. Because his friends couldn''t arrange anything before our wedding, he said it might be after. WHAT??? He also wanted me to know that if any single friends wanted to have a party in Vegas after our marriage that he would be going. I just don''t know what to do...........this is the only thing that we can''t resolve so far in our relationship. For me, the hurt is too much. For him, it is about winning and not being told what to do (I think). Maybe I am insecure, but our society has taught me that. I have strong philosophical opinions about objectification of women (or men). I would not engage in that sort of activity myself. I don''t think I could ever get the mental images out of my head and it would eat away at me until it ruined our marriage. I tried to tell him that I would have to do something that was emotionally upsetting to him for him to understand.......he said he didn''t want to hear it and that if we continued talking he would say something I wouldn''t want to hear. After all of that, I asked him if he already had something scheduled. He said "no", but maybe after the wedding, or it might not happen at all. So apparently we were fighting about the hypothetical anyway.........To be clear, I don''t think he would "cheat" on me. I just can''t stand the idea that he wants to go see other naked women performing for him....especially while he and his friends are drinking. He says it is not "arrousing" just fun---but my answer to that is then---why is it necessary? especially if you know it will hurt your fiance? I really don''t know what to do. I need help now more than ever in my life. I just wanted to be happy and marry the man that I love..........and I know loves me.
 
When is your wedding breezy?

It sounds like you have some legitimate concerns, I''m just wondering how long of a time line you''re working with.
 
Absolutely hilarious!!!!
That would make for a very interesting bach/bachlorette party, and I''m sure they''d have a large selection of wedding night attire.
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Thank you again Frekechild....I really am distressed about this. Our wedding is Sept. 25th in Venice.......we are going alone and going on a cruise from there. I can''t believe I would have to threaten to call it off to make him understand how strongly I feel. He most likely thinks he can do whatever and I will just have to "get over it". Oddy enough, I actually don''t think it was very likely to happen at all. It bothered me though, that he wanted me to know that he would attend a bachelor party in the future if a friend asked. How can this be so important that he would disregard my feelings? Since he won''t thoroughly discuss the subject ( and just thinks I am wrong) how do I get through to him? Right now, I am thinking I may have to ignore any attempt by him to talk to me over the next few days at least.......maybe it would give him a wake up call. What''s so sad to me, is that we have gotten along very well on all other issues and I do believe we love each other. However, if he is someone that can''t openly discuss a subject when it is difficult, what does that say for our future?
 
I personally think that would be a great/hilarious bachelor/bachelorette party lol! But I''m not sure I''d actually do it..I think I''d chicken out.
 
breezy,

If this is a make it or break it kind of issue, then it is what it is. I think you have real reasons for not wanting him to do, but I''m guessing that he has real reasons for wanting to do it. So essentially you''re at a stalemate unfortunately.

The question you are ultimately going to have to ask yourself is if this issue is important enough to dissolve your entire relationship over. If it is, then it is, BUT if you''re going to threaten canceling the wedding because of this, then you have to be prepared to cancel it. Empty threats don''t do anyone any good.

It sounds to me like this is a control issue. I don''t think you actually feel this way, but because he seems to, it becomes one.

So as for getting through to him, I don''t think that not talking to him is an answer. If anything I think you need to sit down and have a talk with him about the situation, leaving emotions at the door, and let him know that you feel like it objectifies women, and it''s overall disrespectful to them(and to anyone who strips). If he won''t talk to you about it and have an adult conversation, then I would have to say that your threat of canceling the wedding is probably not unfounded, and there are much deeper problems going on.
However, if he is someone that can''t openly discuss a subject when it is difficult, what does that say for our future?
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This is a very important question. Sometimes love ISN''T enough. I don''t know enough about your relationship to make judgments, but I''m just trying to go off of what you''ve said.
What''s worse, I asked him if this is more important to him than I am---and he said yes. What am I to think. I know he likes to be "right" or "win", but that is an awful thing to say in my opinion.
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I think that this statement is very telling. I''m sorry breezy, but if he''s being honest with that statement, then I think that you really need to reconsider your relationship. I try to avoid making those kinds of statements, but this last statement really made me sad.

I wish you the best of luck. Let us know what is going on, we''re great listeners.

((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))
 
We''ll see if we actually do it or not. My BFFs might be up for it, but might chicken out at the last moment. The problem is that it''s all the way up the Strip. We''ll see. I think it would be fun to go to though. And probably entertainment for at least a full day.
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Considering you''re staying at one of the biggest and nicest hotel in Vegas I think you''re going to experience more of the Expo than you think you will...
 
Breezy,

I just wanted to first off ditto everything Freke said. I know you didn''t ask for my advice or anything..but I think she has made some very worthwhile points. If what he said is true (that this is more important to him than you) that is a HUGE problem. Major red flag. I am so sorry this is happening.
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Sending you tons of hugs and support as well. ((HUGS))
 
I'm so jealous! That sounds like such a blast!
Hmm..Jan 9 is my birthday, maybe I should make a trip to Vegas with the new hubby my bday gift!

Haha, it's funny, between the fiance and I, I'm much more..um...deviant shall we say
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And not shy about it!
 
I don''t think he really meant it---------but I would believe it is a control issue for him. For me, very emotional. For him, it''s about not being told what to do. Juvenile. He is 42 and apparently has gone to several bachelor parties in Vegas in the past with college friends.....I didn''t know that. Now, he thinks it is his turn to have his own party. He told me they may not even go to a strip club since they love the casinos, but he couldn''t promise me that they wouldn''t since his friends might want to go. I don''t think it is actually very likely that it would even happen due to scheduling issues, but he said they might go in October
(that is AFTER our wedding)! But, he did want to tell me that he would go in the future if one of his friends was having one.
Why is it so hard for some men to see that we need comfort in these times and not get so defensive and bullheaded?
 
This would be SO much fun to do during your wedding weekend.. who knows, you might even pick up some accessories
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Breezy, I have to comment a bit on this thread because I know exactly where you are coming from.

My FI has gone to bachelor parties in the past and I was not completely comfortable with it either. Don''t get me wrong - I think everyone is entitled to having his fun as long as it doesn''t get out of control. I knew they were going to strip clubs and was mostly ok with it. Is it an insecurity issue? I think in some ways, it is because it means that men are not happy enough at home and need to be stimulated by other women. However, our society accepts this act and doesn''t blink an eye at men oogling at half naked women. It boils down to control and respect. If he respects you enough, he would take your feelings into account and not get out control. Perhaps if he cared enough, he would stop altogether.

What worries me more than anything is his unwillingness to discuss this subject. Relationships thrive on good communication. If you and your FI don''t talk about this, it''s just going to become a stressful subject and one that may cause both of you to become spiteful.
 
Well that is better at least, but what a minute? AFTER the wedding? Um no that's not a bachelor party. Sigh.
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Sounds like he needs to grow up a bit still no offense or anything..

ETA: Sorry didn't quote..this was for Breezy of course.
 
Ha...how fun and interesting! I would be totally up for it!
 
Hahaha, that''d be a total blast. I think you should go for it!
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Date: 7/19/2009 9:05:46 PM
Author: breezy
I don''t think he really meant it---------but I would believe it is a control issue for him. For me, very emotional. For him, it''s about not being told what to do. Juvenile.
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Ok, this is a lie to yourself, breezy - don''t let your past with this man dictate how you react to this bombshell. Yes, you love him, but he can''t have said ALL OF THOSE THINGS and not mean a single one. I''ve been told that you should trust the first thing that comes out of a persons mouth, because if you let them, they will edit and correct their original statement to make it seem less hurtful. And the first words out of your FH''s mouth was that he doesn''t care how you feel. If he doesn''t care about this, then it is a sign of things to come.

Please think this marriage through.
 
That would be such a fab bachelor/ette party! I''d totally go.
 
That''s hilarious! I would love to go to that.

Breezy-sorry to hear that you guys are having problems. I think that you really need to sit down and talk to him rather than not talk to him for a few days. This needs to be sorted soon as you guys are getting married in 2 months. I hope that you can reach a compromise that you''re both happy with.
 
I don''t disagree about talking things through and maybe coming up with a compromise we can both live with.....however, even though he may not end up actually having his party, he seems to want to fight about it and not really consider (even validate) my feelings. If he won''t have a productive conversation about this, I thought maybe backing off for a bit would get him to see how serious this is. I also think that this is not really about the party (or others in the future) anymore. I see that he may not be someone that can deal with difficult conflict in a way that is fair and even tempered. I hate taking the moral high road during a disagreement when his reaction is to insult or dismiss me when I don''t see things his way. Unfortunately, in this case, his mother added fuel to the fire instead of giving him sage advice. I certainly don''t know exactly what their conversation was (or even if it was email) but somehow she told him "he should have his fun". I wish I knew what specifically he told her.....but I''m sure it involved that I wasn''t happy about his plans....I just don''t know how much he actually would have told her about the "plans" that bother me or how upset I really am.
 
LOL...

I am now OFFICIALLY crashing Freke''s wedding.
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That''s brilliant. I thought when I first saw this thread that you would be mad about it...glad you see the humor.
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