The LIW Small Talk Thread

[CNOS128]

Date: 7/14/2009 9:47:54 AM
Author: TopoDazzle

Elation, what do you mean you gave up coffee? What is this ''giving up'' thing of which you speak. In relation to coffee??? .. ???? Nonsense

Seriously, the idea of giving up coffee makes me cry a little.

 

[CurlySue]

Date: 7/14/2009 9:48:50 AM
Author: princesss
Sleep is good. I miss it. I dreamt that I got a new job that paid $56.50 an hour to take chapter books I loved as a kid and condense them into picture books for preschoolers. Best dream of my life.

I would love to have that dream!!! Would be hard to wake up from it, though...

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 7/14/2009 9:48:50 AM
Author: princesss
Sleep is good. I miss it. I dreamt that I got a new job that paid $56.50 an hour to take chapter books I loved as a kid and condense them into picture books for preschoolers. Best dream of my life.

Quite interested to find out where the figure 56.50 came from....

 

[ksluice]

Date: 7/14/2009 9:48:50 AM
Author: princesss
Sleep is good. I miss it. I dreamt that I got a new job that paid $56.50 an hour to take chapter books I loved as a kid and condense them into picture books for preschoolers. Best dream of my life.

This is awesome! You should quit whatever you are doing now and do this instead.

 

[princesss]

Date: 7/14/2009 9:56:16 AM
Author: TopoDazzle

Date: 7/14/2009 9:48:50 AM
Author: princesss
Sleep is good. I miss it. I dreamt that I got a new job that paid $56.50 an hour to take chapter books I loved as a kid and condense them into picture books for preschoolers. Best dream of my life.

This is awesome! You should quit whatever you are doing now and do this instead.

That was part of the dream. I was all nervous because I wasn''t sure I was going to take the job. I was supposed to be at my real job, but I was there and they were begging me to take it. It didn''t seem like a lot of work, and so I asked what I''d be paid. That''s when they told me that lovely lovely figure, and I decided, "Okay, no problem!"

Man I wish that were a real offer.

 

[misskitty]

Date: 7/14/2009 9:59:16 AM
Author: princesss

Date: 7/14/2009 9:56:16 AM

Author: TopoDazzle

Date: 7/14/2009 9:48:50 AM

Author: princesss

Sleep is good. I miss it. I dreamt that I got a new job that paid $56.50 an hour to take chapter books I loved as a kid and condense them into picture books for preschoolers. Best dream of my life.

This is awesome! You should quit whatever you are doing now and do this instead.

That was part of the dream. I was all nervous because I wasn''t sure I was going to take the job. I was supposed to be at my real job, but I was there and they were begging me to take it. It didn''t seem like a lot of work, and so I asked what I''d be paid. That''s when they told me that lovely lovely figure, and I decided, ''Okay, no problem!''


Man I wish that were a real offer.

That sounds awesome. I''d do that for a lot less than 56.50, even!

 

[elation]

Haha you ladies are funny
But when you dream of having $20K for a used car of your dreams as your first car.. it''s some healthy motivation!!

I woke up today to the radio hosts talking about some girl who went to her boyfriends cottage to tell him that she wasn''t ready to get married, to which he was devastated, but agreeing she had done the right thing.
I''m not sure if that was real?? That''s what I had PLANNED to do!
Trippy.

 

[misskitty]

So, LIW''s...since y''all are awesome at advice-giving (seriously, I come here before asking my IRL friends about some things) wanna help me out with something?

 

[ksluice]

Date: 7/14/2009 9:59:16 AM
Author: princesss

Date: 7/14/2009 9:56:16 AM

Author: TopoDazzle

Date: 7/14/2009 9:48:50 AM

Author: princesss

Sleep is good. I miss it. I dreamt that I got a new job that paid $56.50 an hour to take chapter books I loved as a kid and condense them into picture books for preschoolers. Best dream of my life.

This is awesome! You should quit whatever you are doing now and do this instead.

That was part of the dream. I was all nervous because I wasn''t sure I was going to take the job. I was supposed to be at my real job, but I was there and they were begging me to take it. It didn''t seem like a lot of work, and so I asked what I''d be paid. That''s when they told me that lovely lovely figure, and I decided, ''Okay, no problem!''


Man I wish that were a real offer.

maybe you''re supposed to start doing it on your own and pitch the first one to some publishing house?

 

[misskitty]

elation, re: the giving up coffee -- are you giving up fancy coffee, or all coffee (including the homemade kind)?

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 7/14/2009 10:02:27 AM
Author: misskitty
So, LIW''s...since y''all are awesome at advice-giving (seriously, I come here before asking my IRL friends about some things) wanna help me out with something?

Lay it out, MK!

 

[CNOS128]

Date: 7/14/2009 10:02:54 AM
Author: TopoDazzle

maybe you're supposed to start doing it on your own and pitch the first one to some publishing house?

Seriously! It's a really good idea.

But you should negotiate an annual salary & benefits (plus a bonus!), not this hourly nonsense.

 

[ksluice]

Date: 7/14/2009 10:03:37 AM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 7/14/2009 10:02:27 AM

Author: misskitty

So, LIW''s...since y''all are awesome at advice-giving (seriously, I come here before asking my IRL friends about some things) wanna help me out with something?

Lay it out, MK!

spill it.

 

[elation]

Just the fancy money-draining coffee, misskitty =P
But I don''t have a functioning coffeemaker! >___< So.. that''s most coffee. =(

So whats on your mind?

 

[ksluice]

Date: 7/14/2009 10:06:33 AM
Author: TheBigT

Date: 7/14/2009 10:02:54 AM

Author: TopoDazzle


maybe you''re supposed to start doing it on your own and pitch the first one to some publishing house?

Seriously! It''s a really good idea.


But you should negotiate an annual salary & benefits (plus a bonus!), not this hourly nonsense.

Good call BigT

 

[Bia]

Date: 7/14/2009 10:06:37 AM
Author: TopoDazzle

Date: 7/14/2009 10:03:37 AM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 7/14/2009 10:02:27 AM

Author: misskitty

So, LIW''s...since y''all are awesome at advice-giving (seriously, I come here before asking my IRL friends about some things) wanna help me out with something?

Lay it out, MK!

spill it.

d i t t o

 

[misskitty]

Okay, so. Little bro graduated from college a month ago (yay, him!). He has his first real job all lined up, and they''re paying to relocate him out to the East coast. This sounds incredible to me, but he is freaking out in a major, major way. Like, panic attack freaking out.

I think the biggest stressors here are that he (a) has never really lived more than an hour radius outside of home and (b) doesn''t know a single person in the new city. Those are pretty scary things to a lot of people. Add into that mix that our whole family has a history of anxiety issues. I guess the reaction isn''t entirely unpredictable, but it''s breaking my heart that he''s feeling like this.

I just want to help him, but I have zero ability to relate to his situation, and I''m worried that saying "don''t worry, it''ll all work out" is going to be seriously unhelpful.

Suggestions? He''s supposed to move in a week. I plan on mailing a care package to his new apartment, but I''m really at a loss about what else I can do.

 

[ksluice]

Date: 7/14/2009 10:14:13 AM
Author: misskitty
Okay, so. Little bro graduated from college a month ago (yay, him!). He has his first real job all lined up, and they''re paying to relocate him out to the East coast. This sounds incredible to me, but he is freaking out in a major, major way. Like, panic attack freaking out.


I think the biggest stressors here are that he (a) has never really lived more than an hour radius outside of home and (b) doesn''t know a single person in the new city. Those are pretty scary things to a lot of people. Add into that mix that our whole family has a history of anxiety issues. I guess the reaction isn''t entirely unpredictable, but it''s breaking my heart that he''s feeling like this.


I just want to help him, but I have zero ability to relate to his situation, and I''m worried that saying ''don''t worry, it''ll all work out'' is going to be seriously unhelpful.


Suggestions? He''s supposed to move in a week. I plan on mailing a care package to his new apartment, but I''m really at a loss about what else I can do.

How does your family view therapy? I went in for panic attacks years ago, and my therapist had me down to virtually nothing almost instantly

 

[misskitty]

Date: 7/14/2009 10:08:12 AM
Author: elation
Just the fancy money-draining coffee, misskitty =P

But I don''t have a functioning coffeemaker! >___< So.. that''s most coffee. =(


So whats on your mind?

Ok, 2 things:

(1) Tea!

(2) A friend of mine who can''t drink coffee for medical reasons swears by an apple every morning for the same wake-up boost.

 

[ksluice]

Elle, where did you go to look at dresses in A2?

 

[CurlySue]

Date: 7/14/2009 10:14:13 AM
Author: misskitty
Okay, so. Little bro graduated from college a month ago (yay, him!). He has his first real job all lined up, and they''re paying to relocate him out to the East coast. This sounds incredible to me, but he is freaking out in a major, major way. Like, panic attack freaking out.

I think the biggest stressors here are that he (a) has never really lived more than an hour radius outside of home and (b) doesn''t know a single person in the new city. Those are pretty scary things to a lot of people. Add into that mix that our whole family has a history of anxiety issues. I guess the reaction isn''t entirely unpredictable, but it''s breaking my heart that he''s feeling like this.

I just want to help him, but I have zero ability to relate to his situation, and I''m worried that saying ''don''t worry, it''ll all work out'' is going to be seriously unhelpful.

Suggestions? He''s supposed to move in a week. I plan on mailing a care package to his new apartment, but I''m really at a loss about what else I can do.

The care package idea is such a sweet one. You are a good sis!

Have you talked to him in detail about his fears/concerns? I come from a long line of worry-warts, and I find that when I get really stressed out, the most helpful thing is for someone to help talk me through it. I like being able to figure out what I''ll do in the worst case scenario.

So for him... what IS the worst case scenario? Having to meet people? Well, then what are some ways to do that? If he misses home, how can he stay connected? Regular phone calls? Visits from family? If he is really miserable out there, then what will he do? Quit his job? Move home?

Also, maybe you can ask him questoins that can help him see the awesome UPSIDE of all of this! Meeting new people, exploring new places, etc. (oh, and having a job!)

You don''t need to have the answers, but maybe helping him think through his options will put his mind at ease a bit.

This might not work for everyone, but I know as a worrier (and a major planner), I like knowing that there are generally solutions to most, if not all, problems.

 

[misskitty]

Date: 7/14/2009 10:18:04 AM
Author: TopoDazzle

How does your family view therapy? I went in for panic attacks years ago, and my therapist had me down to virtually nothing almost instantly

See, this was my instant thought. I saw a therapist for years, and it really helped me through my struggle with OCD.

Do you have any ideas about how to suggest it without sounding pushy or accusing? I got the brush-off when I brought it up, but I think it would be helpful (if he''d go).

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 7/14/2009 10:22:22 AM
Author: TopoDazzle
Elle, where did you go to look at dresses in A2?

B. Ella Bridal on Plymouth Road (Hated it)

Darling Bridal Showcase on Jackson Road (Loved it, found my dress there)

 

[Bia]

MK: Can you, or someone in your family, go out there with him to him settle in? He''s what, 22-23? I don''t think it is crazy that he''s scared...a lot of people that age, who have never been far from home would have trouble with this. I am very close to my brother (and he was a total mama''s boy) so when he was getting ready to leave for BASIC (Air Force) he started to panic a bit. Yea, the situation is different (he had no choice but to acclimate himself in boot camp) but the point is, he worked through it and ended up loving the experience.

If no one can go out there, make sure you call often and send him stuff from home. By the looks of it, he''s already off to a great start--he has a company paying to relocate him across the country, fresh out of college. He must have some really great attributes, so I''m sure he''ll be making friends in no time.

You''re a great sister MK!

 

[Lilac]

I could also use some advice, but I posted it over in Hangout, so if anyone has a chance to go check it out I would really appreciate it

misskitty - I''m sorry your brother feels so anxious and nervous about this. I know how it feels to be moving to a place where you don''t know ANYONE at all and I know the horrible anxiety that comes along with that. Does he know any of his new coworkers? Sometimes that makes it MUCH easier because at least then he knows the people he will be spending 5 out of 7 days with every week. How far away is your family from the East coast? Will anyone be visiting him anytime soon? I think sending the care package is a great idea. I wish I had some more/better advice but it''s a tough situation. I''ll keep thinking and let you know if I think of anything else.

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 7/14/2009 10:26:21 AM
Author: misskitty

Date: 7/14/2009 10:18:04 AM
Author: TopoDazzle

How does your family view therapy? I went in for panic attacks years ago, and my therapist had me down to virtually nothing almost instantly

See, this was my instant thought. I saw a therapist for years, and it really helped me through my struggle with OCD.

Do you have any ideas about how to suggest it without sounding pushy or accusing? I got the brush-off when I brought it up, but I think it would be helpful (if he''d go).

I was going to suggest therapy too...

I would just mention that going to talk to someone really helped you deal with certain issues, and that you think getting another perspective on his anxiety could help alleviate it.

You can''t push anyone into therapy, and if they already have that stigma attached to it that only crazy people need therapists, it may be a hard sell. Usually people aren''t willing to go to therapy until they, themselves, have come to accept the issues they have and want to work on them. I wouldn''t push it. Just gently bring it up occasionally, and then you''ll know the idea is at least planted in his head.

 

[Lilac]

MK - I also think therapy is a great suggestion, but I do think there''s only so far a therapist can help for this PARTICULAR situation. If he was afraid of something or had a specific fear I would say therapy would definitely help. But the fact that he''s worried about not knowing anyone will really only go totally away once he meets people.

However, I would still suggest the therapy to him. Maybe phrase it like "I know a lot of people who really feel better when they know there''s a specific person they can go express all their thoughts to every week. Maybe that would help for the first few weeks you''re there?" Or something like that.

 

[misskitty]

Thanks, CurlySue. I''m planning on calling him during my lunch break at work today, maybe he''ll feel like opening up about what''s bothering him.

 

[Lauren8211]

Maybe I should take my own advice. I had TWO panic attacks yesterday.

 

[ksluice]

Date: 7/14/2009 10:26:21 AM
Author: misskitty

Date: 7/14/2009 10:18:04 AM

Author: TopoDazzle


How does your family view therapy? I went in for panic attacks years ago, and my therapist had me down to virtually nothing almost instantly

See, this was my instant thought. I saw a therapist for years, and it really helped me through my struggle with OCD.


Do you have any ideas about how to suggest it without sounding pushy or accusing? I got the brush-off when I brought it up, but I think it would be helpful (if he''d go).

That is tricky part isn''t it... what if it was suggested it as part of coping with a new city? it really is an excellent tool for filtering through all the impressions you get of a new place and new people. Maybe if it was brought up as a way to ensure success with the new job--to help him wade through his first experiences with office politics??

Something like that if you see what I mean... suggesting it as proactive way to ensure success rather than as a means for helping with a "problem". When I began therapy I was sporadic with it....starting and stopping again. I won''t go back if I thought it was b/c i needed help with something (I can handle things just fine, thank you--

), but when it was b/c I had writers block, I would go right away.