The LIW Small Talk Thread

[Lauren8211]

Date: 7/23/2009 9:57:24 AM
Author: Bia
So ladies, question. What do you do when you've been fighting with your SO for an extended period of time and it feels like things (feelings) don't improve?

Or is it just me and that never happens to any of you??? (

)

FI and I have been 'off' lately. It's like he's annoying me, I get snippy and annoy him...and the wheel just goes round and round. Last night we got into it and it's as though the relationship sucks lately. I feel like we're not connecting, not to mention that it's also not very romantic (at all!) and that, in turn, effects 'other' parts of our relationship, if you catch my drift. I'm starting to worry because we're not even married yet and things are like this.


sorry...debbie downer today

Aww I'm sorry honey.

And yes, it's normal.

I find when we have phases like this, it's typically one of a few things. 1. You're spending too much time together, 2. You're not spending enough time together, or 3. Someone's needs (sounds like yours) are not being met. By needs, it could be anything from him not picking up after himself to he's really stressed at work and taking it out on you. I tend to get SUPER annoyed with FI when he's not helping out around the house. To the point where I just get really snippy. If I would just say "HEY, can you please help me out with ____. I am feeling overwhelmed" it would solve the problem, but rarely am I ever that direct. I'm working on it.

Have you guys had a date night or anything lately? Is anything I mentioned ringing true? Is something bugging you?

 

[jcarlylew]

Date: 7/23/2009 10:03:58 AM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 7/23/2009 9:57:24 AM
Author: Bia
So ladies, question. What do you do when you''ve been fighting with your SO for an extended period of time and it feels like things (feelings) don''t improve?

Or is it just me and that never happens to any of you??? (

)

FI and I have been ''off'' lately. It''s like he''s annoying me, I get snippy and annoy him...and the wheel just goes round and round. Last night we got into it and it''s as though the relationship sucks lately. I feel like we''re not connecting, not to mention that it''s also not very romantic (at all!) and that, in turn, effects ''other'' parts of our relationship, if you catch my drift. I''m starting to worry because we''re not even married yet and things are like this.


sorry...debbie downer today

Aww I''m sorry honey.

And yes, it''s normal.

I find when we have phases like this, it''s typically one of a few things. 1. You''re spending too much time together, 2. You''re not spending enough time together, or 3. Someone''s needs (sounds like yours) are not being met. By needs, it could be anything from him not picking up after himself to he''s really stressed at work and taking it out on you. I tend to get SUPER annoyed with FI when he''s not helping out around the house. To the point where I just get really snippy. If I would just say ''HEY, can you please help me out with ____. I am feeling overwhelmed'' it would solve the problem, but rarely am I ever that direct. I''m working on it.

Have you guys had a date night or anything lately? Is anything I mentioned ringing true? Is something bugging you?

you so it the nail on the head with that response. so i have to agree 100%

big hugs bia. i know E and i have our "off" days too. usually its spending to much time together + not helping around the house. and not listening to me. which always leads to me penting up anger. <-- something that i have to work on, and vocalize right away rather than pent it up.

 

[elation]

Morning ladies!

Date: 7/23/2009 7:58:28 AM
Author: vip0802

peridot and diamond eternity ring

thoughts? suggestions?

vip - I TOTALLY love the peridot and diamond eternity ring!!! Hands down got my vote, I would definitely consider wanting something like this for me some day, it''s so gorgeous and unique! Peridot is also my birthstone

Bia, I''m so sorry to hear your relationship is bumpy.. maybe you and him need to remember why you fell in love, like elle said take an extravagant date night or a mini vacation somewhere? Something that gets you to look at each other and remember all the reasons why you love each other so much.
And um, you could also talk about it. Someone wise said good ol'' straight up honest communication is key

 

[Lauren8211]

I''m supposed to go camping and tubing this weekend and the weather SUCKS!

Low 70s, and storms.

 

[CNOS128]

Aww, Bia, I''m sorry!
I don''t have any sage advice, but I think most of us have gone through periods where we fought a lot with our significant others for seemingly no reason. Especially the stress of planning a wedding can do that...

 

[Bia]

Yea, we might be spending too much time together. We''re going on vacation in next Saturday, so I''m hoping that helps.

 

[jcarlylew]

elle - sorry for the crappy weather

but camping will still be fun!

bia - vacations always help!


i tired on another dress yesterday, and now i have two choices waiting in the wings. i am going to check out two more stores, and then thats it. to many choices makes me question and become a waffle.

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 7/23/2009 10:41:57 AM
Author: Bia
Yea, we might be spending too much time together. We''re going on vacation in next Saturday, so I''m hoping that helps.

FI and I decided we each have to have a different night during the week where we leave the house without one another. So we each have a night out alone, and we each have a night at home by ourselves. It helps alleviate the feeling of ZERO privacy in our tiny apartment.

Where are you going on vaca??

 

[CNOS128]

Date: 7/23/2009 10:49:22 AM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 7/23/2009 10:41:57 AM
Author: Bia
Yea, we might be spending too much time together. We're going on vacation in next Saturday, so I'm hoping that helps.

FI and I decided we each have to have a different night during the week where we leave the house without one another. So we each have a night out alone, and we each have a night at home by ourselves. It helps alleviate the feeling of ZERO privacy in our tiny apartment.

Where are you going on vaca??

It is so so SO important to our relationship (and mutual sanity) to have time alone. We both really like having time to ourselves, and while we certainly don't have a plan like yours, elle, we definitely try to give each other a few hours here and there.

Bia, tell us all about your vacation plans so we can live vicariously through you!

elle, you'll still have a great time, cuz tubing is SO much fun!!

 

[Mannequin]

Date: 7/23/2009 10:31:05 AM
Author: elledizzy5
I'm supposed to go camping and tubing this weekend and the weather SUCKS!


Low 70s, and storms.

I was just looking at the forecast and I was sooooo bummed. I hope that 40% chance of showers and T-storms is inaccurate.

We are going up tonight and coming home Monday (ENGAGED, lol) and we may be setting up in the rain. Yuck! My sweetie seems to be coming down with a cold too. Crap.

 

[vip0802]

wow, lots of August babies here! i wish we could all celebrate our b-days together...and maybe go on a mini-shopping spree for peridots.

just out of curiosity, when are your b-days? mine is August 2nd. whoa...now that i just looked at the calendar, it's coming up soon! FWIW, i've made a conscious decision that this will be my last b-day. i'll continue to celebrate every year of course, but i think i'll just stay 29 forever.

ugh...29....my last year to be considered "in my twenties".

Bia - *HUGS* i'm sorry you're going through this, and know that it's completely normal. i totally agree with elle's response...like jcar said, she nailed it. i'm guilty of having a bit of a temper when i'm super stressed out or annoyed, and i'll take it out on BF. luckily, BF understands that when i snip at him, it's not really directed at him. (i'm working on it too) maybe that's what's going on with you two? i think you guys should definitely try to have date night and have a talk to smooth things over. after date night, maybe you two can have each other as dessert?

elle and equestrienne - booo for bad weather! sending some weather *DUST* to you but i'm not sure it'll work. i'll pray to the sun gods for you!

ETA: i think i'm finally getting tired...off to take a nap!

 

[Bia]

Date: 7/23/2009 10:49:22 AM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 7/23/2009 10:41:57 AM
Author: Bia
Yea, we might be spending too much time together. We're going on vacation in next Saturday, so I'm hoping that helps.

FI and I decided we each have to have a different night during the week where we leave the house without one another. So we each have a night out alone, and we each have a night at home by ourselves. It helps alleviate the feeling of ZERO privacy in our tiny apartment.

Where are you going on vaca??

That might be a good idea. I'm noticing when we're home we're in eachother's face. I'm watching tv and he's playing chess on the computer...and we're sort of just existing together. Neither one of us really doing anything. That's fine a couple times a week but not every day. I might have to go back to the gym or something just to get out. I hate feeling resentful towards him too. I'm not sure where that's coming from but I know he's feeling it.

We rented a house on Martha's Vineyard for a week! YAY!!!!

I can't wait to be at the beach. I'm hoping we have good, HOT, weather because that water is colddddddd {{brrrrrrr}}

eta: Did they just add a pink shoe to the PS avatar list? I keep seeing that pink shoe everywhere today LOL

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 7/23/2009 11:00:25 AM
Author: Bia

Date: 7/23/2009 10:49:22 AM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 7/23/2009 10:41:57 AM
Author: Bia
Yea, we might be spending too much time together. We''re going on vacation in next Saturday, so I''m hoping that helps.

FI and I decided we each have to have a different night during the week where we leave the house without one another. So we each have a night out alone, and we each have a night at home by ourselves. It helps alleviate the feeling of ZERO privacy in our tiny apartment.

Where are you going on vaca??

That might be a good idea. I''m noticing when we''re home we''re in eachother''s face. I''m watching tv and he''s playing chess on the computer...and we''re sort of just existing together. Neither one of us really doing anything. That''s fine a couple times a week but not every day. I might have to go back to the gym or something just to get out. I hate feeling resentful towards him too. I''m not sure where that''s coming from but I know he''s feeling it.

We rented a house on Martha''s Vineyard for a week! YAY!!!!

I can''t wait to be at the beach. I''m hoping we have good, HOT, weather because that water is colddddddd {{brrrrrrr}}

eta: Did they just add a pink shoe to the PS avatar list? I keep seeing that pink shoe everywhere today LOL

Yeah, thats how we are too, B. We just sit at our respective computers, in the same room, and annoy the crap out of one another. LOL

That sounds really fun B! I bet you''re so excited!!

Check out the "In honor of" thread in hangout!

 

[jcarlylew]

Date: 7/23/2009 11:00:25 AM
Author: Bia
That might be a good idea. I''m noticing when we''re home we''re in eachother''s face. I''m watching tv and he''s playing chess on the computer...and we''re sort of just existing together. Neither one of us really doing anything. That''s fine a couple times a week but not every day. I might have to go back to the gym or something just to get out. I hate feeling resentful towards him too. I''m not sure where that''s coming from but I know he''s feeling it.

We rented a house on Martha''s Vineyard for a week! YAY!!!!

I can''t wait to be at the beach. I''m hoping we have good, HOT, weather because that water is colddddddd {{brrrrrrr}}

eta: Did they just add a pink shoe to the PS avatar list? I keep seeing that pink shoe everywhere today LOL

i keep seeing it too!! crazy!

Bia - your vaca sounds like so much fun!

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 7/23/2009 10:58:56 AM
Author: equestrienne

Date: 7/23/2009 10:31:05 AM
Author: elledizzy5
I''m supposed to go camping and tubing this weekend and the weather SUCKS!


Low 70s, and storms.

I was just looking at the forecast and I was sooooo bummed. I hope that 40% chance of showers and T-storms is inaccurate.

We are going up tonight and coming home Monday (ENGAGED, lol) and we may be setting up in the rain. Yuck! My sweetie seems to be coming down with a cold too. Crap.

It sucks. We''re thinking about cancelling, seeing as how we can''t go tubing in that weather.

I''m SO bummed!!!!

And rain on your engagement weekend.. that is a serious bummer.

 

[Bia]

Date: 7/23/2009 11:14:45 AM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 7/23/2009 11:00:25 AM
Author: Bia

Date: 7/23/2009 10:49:22 AM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 7/23/2009 10:41:57 AM
Author: Bia
Yea, we might be spending too much time together. We''re going on vacation in next Saturday, so I''m hoping that helps.

FI and I decided we each have to have a different night during the week where we leave the house without one another. So we each have a night out alone, and we each have a night at home by ourselves. It helps alleviate the feeling of ZERO privacy in our tiny apartment.

Where are you going on vaca??

That might be a good idea. I''m noticing when we''re home we''re in eachother''s face. I''m watching tv and he''s playing chess on the computer...and we''re sort of just existing together. Neither one of us really doing anything. That''s fine a couple times a week but not every day. I might have to go back to the gym or something just to get out. I hate feeling resentful towards him too. I''m not sure where that''s coming from but I know he''s feeling it.

We rented a house on Martha''s Vineyard for a week! YAY!!!!

I can''t wait to be at the beach. I''m hoping we have good, HOT, weather because that water is colddddddd {{brrrrrrr}}

eta: Did they just add a pink shoe to the PS avatar list? I keep seeing that pink shoe everywhere today LOL

Yeah, thats how we are too, B. We just sit at our respective computers, in the same room, and annoy the crap out of one another. LOL

That sounds really fun B! I bet you''re so excited!!

Check out the ''In honor of'' thread in hangout!

ahhhhhh yes...

Thank you detective

 

[Mannequin]

Date: 7/23/2009 11:15:42 AM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 7/23/2009 10:58:56 AM

Author: equestrienne

Date: 7/23/2009 10:31:05 AM

Author: elledizzy5

I''m supposed to go camping and tubing this weekend and the weather SUCKS!



Low 70s, and storms.

I was just looking at the forecast and I was sooooo bummed. I hope that 40% chance of showers and T-storms is inaccurate.

We are going up tonight and coming home Monday (ENGAGED, lol) and we may be setting up in the rain. Yuck! My sweetie seems to be coming down with a cold too. Crap.

It sucks. We''re thinking about cancelling, seeing as how we can''t go tubing in that weather.


I''m SO bummed!!!!


And rain on your engagement weekend.. that is a serious bummer.

Well, if it rains, we''ll just sit in the tent and drink.

More likely, if he''s sick, he''ll sleep the first day or so and I''ll read and work on stuff for my paper.

 

[Bia]

Date: 7/23/2009 11:15:42 AM
Author: elledizzy5

It sucks. We''re thinking about cancelling, seeing as how we can''t go tubing in that weather.

I''m SO bummed!!!!

And rain on your engagement weekend.. that is a serious bummer.

awww honey, im sorry. Dont cancel yet. Can you wait until sat morning and see how it goes?

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 7/23/2009 11:20:08 AM
Author: Bia

Date: 7/23/2009 11:15:42 AM
Author: elledizzy5

It sucks. We''re thinking about cancelling, seeing as how we can''t go tubing in that weather.

I''m SO bummed!!!!

And rain on your engagement weekend.. that is a serious bummer.

awww honey, im sorry. Dont cancel yet. Can you wait until sat morning and see how it goes?

We''re supposed to leave tomorrow around 1. Tomorrow should be OK, but Saturday is looking really bad.. it''s really iffy. I have no idea what we''re going to do.

It''s POURING here right now, so I know the ground will be really wet.

 

[Bia]

Date: 7/23/2009 11:25:49 AM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 7/23/2009 11:20:08 AM
Author: Bia

Date: 7/23/2009 11:15:42 AM
Author: elledizzy5

It sucks. We''re thinking about cancelling, seeing as how we can''t go tubing in that weather.

I''m SO bummed!!!!

And rain on your engagement weekend.. that is a serious bummer.

awww honey, im sorry. Dont cancel yet. Can you wait until sat morning and see how it goes?

We''re supposed to leave tomorrow around 1. Tomorrow should be OK, but Saturday is looking really bad.. it''s really iffy. I have no idea what we''re going to do.

It''s POURING here right now, so I know the ground will be really wet.

Yikes, I didn''t think about the ground being wet. If you''re planning to hike, that might make it hard.

I feel your pain Elle. This summer has been wacky. I usually hate the really hot humid weather but for my vacation I want it, and looking at the 15-day forecast, I think 80 and overcast might be as good as I am getting

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 7/23/2009 11:32:35 AM
Author: Bia

Date: 7/23/2009 11:25:49 AM
Author: elledizzy5

Date: 7/23/2009 11:20:08 AM
Author: Bia

Date: 7/23/2009 11:15:42 AM
Author: elledizzy5

It sucks. We''re thinking about cancelling, seeing as how we can''t go tubing in that weather.

I''m SO bummed!!!!

And rain on your engagement weekend.. that is a serious bummer.

awww honey, im sorry. Dont cancel yet. Can you wait until sat morning and see how it goes?

We''re supposed to leave tomorrow around 1. Tomorrow should be OK, but Saturday is looking really bad.. it''s really iffy. I have no idea what we''re going to do.

It''s POURING here right now, so I know the ground will be really wet.

Yikes, I didn''t think about the ground being wet. If you''re planning to hike, that might make it hard.

I feel your pain Elle. This summer has been wacky. I usually hate the really hot humid weather but for my vacation I want it, and looking at the 15-day forecast, I think 80 and overcast might be as good as I am getting

This weather has been crazy! It''s not warm AT ALL ... which I normalyl prefer. But for tubing and camping I''d like some nice hot weather, and no rain please!

80/overcast isn''t TOO bad... but it could be a lot better. I will try and psychic-ly will good weather to you!

Ok, we decided to go up Friday night for at least one night. If it sucks, we''ll come back Sat morning.

 

[Miscka]

Mornin ladies!!

 

[Lauren8211]

Morning, Miscka!

 

[princesss]

Date: 7/23/2009 9:57:24 AM
Author: Bia
So ladies, question. What do you do when you''ve been fighting with your SO for an extended period of time and it feels like things (feelings) don''t improve?

Or is it just me and that never happens to any of you??? (

)

FI and I have been ''off'' lately. It''s like he''s annoying me, I get snippy and annoy him...and the wheel just goes round and round. Last night we got into it and it''s as though the relationship sucks lately. I feel like we''re not connecting, not to mention that it''s also not very romantic (at all!) and that, in turn, effects ''other'' parts of our relationship, if you catch my drift. I''m starting to worry because we''re not even married yet and things are like this.


sorry...debbie downer today

We''ve gotten into a rut like that a few times. What works for us is getting out of the situation - take a day off work and do something together. Go on a hike, go to an amusement park, but do something out of the ordinary where you can work together. I found that when we did that, I went from feeling snippy (how could you have missed the turn?!?!) to relaxed (hey, this is pretty cool) to excited (honey, check out this view! it''s GORGEOUS!). And then we were interacting and happy and goofing off and everything improved.

 

[Bia]

Date: 7/23/2009 11:56:42 AM
Author: princesss

Date: 7/23/2009 9:57:24 AM
Author: Bia
So ladies, question. What do you do when you''ve been fighting with your SO for an extended period of time and it feels like things (feelings) don''t improve?

Or is it just me and that never happens to any of you??? (

)

FI and I have been ''off'' lately. It''s like he''s annoying me, I get snippy and annoy him...and the wheel just goes round and round. Last night we got into it and it''s as though the relationship sucks lately. I feel like we''re not connecting, not to mention that it''s also not very romantic (at all!) and that, in turn, effects ''other'' parts of our relationship, if you catch my drift. I''m starting to worry because we''re not even married yet and things are like this.


sorry...debbie downer today

We''ve gotten into a rut like that a few times. What works for us is getting out of the situation - take a day off work and do something together. Go on a hike, go to an amusement park, but do something out of the ordinary where you can work together. I found that when we did that, I went from feeling snippy (how could you have missed the turn?!?!) to relaxed (hey, this is pretty cool) to excited (honey, check out this view! it''s GORGEOUS!). And then we were interacting and happy and goofing off and everything improved.

Thanks p the advice is right on!

I will take all of your suggestions and keep you updated I just hope it passes soon!

 

[Bia]

So anyway...

 

[Mannequin]

I am glad you are still going to try to go, elle. I hope the weather isn''t as bad as forecasted. Saturday looks icky.

I thought of you and the gamer PSers today - I saw that Sam Raimi is going to direct a WOW movie set to open in 2011.

 

[Bia]

Date: 7/23/2009 12:42:11 PM
Author: equestrienne
I am glad you are still going to try to go, elle. I hope the weather isn''t as bad as forecasted. Saturday looks icky.

I thought of you and the gamer PSers today - I saw that Sam Raimi is going to direct a WOW movie set to open in 2011.

Very cool!

 

[sunnyd]

Morning everyone! Squirrly that was funny as hell!

 

[Lilac]

Bia - I just want to jump in and agree with what a lot of others have said. DH and I have gone through times like that where we just get annoyed at each other for small things and feel like we''re not connecting. The solution? Re-connect! Whenever this happens, it always helps us to take off a day (even just devote a whole weekend to this) and pick a fun place to go together and just enjoy spending time somewhere together. Whether it''s a vacation, a day of mini-golfing, bowling, hiking, a picnic, etc. Anything that will take the two of you to a place where you can have fun together and talk.