The never-ending saga of Tom Cruise: wacko!

[KittenKat]

Tom Cruise has ruined his career. Period. No one will ever take him seriously again. Not after this BS. Not in Hollywood.

It''s over.

Done.

And poor (naive?) Katie is going to go down with him right when her career has a HUGE chance to soar.

 

[AGBF]

This is an excerpt from an article in the July 25, 2005 "The New Yorker". A link below will take you to the entire article.


"I have to tell you, things are good. I am . . . I am . . . Whooo! . . . I am very good. I just returned from a walk and . . . ha! Things. Are. Good. I’ve got a bowl of hard kibble with some soft stuff mixed in. My name’s on the bowl! I am passionate about this lamb-and-rice recipe. What’s been going on? haha! I’m so in love with this bitch! hahaha! I can’t . . . I’m so . . . I can’t restrain myself. hahahahahaha! We met at the park. She was in the run for little dogs . . . ’cause she’s, well . . . ha! She’s petite. And I was over in the big run and . . . I am in love. I can’t be cool. This bitch is . . . I have total respect for her. Yesterday on my five o’clock, I just sniffed her a** for a while and then we frolicked. I can’t even describe it . . . we chased squirrels . . . frisked, you know . . . she likes to be physical, too . . . and to fetch and . . . We’re like anyone. We tore into this shoe and just had a ball. I’ll see her tomorrow on my 8 a.m. I am happy. I am . . . hahahahahaha! She is a wonderful, wonderful animal. I can’t . . . words don’t . . . owooooo! I can’t sit or stay, man. I need to get up on my hind legs and holler, you know! I gotta pee on something. And I don’t care what the other animals do or what their masters say. Listen, there are always gonna be pit bulls. There are always gonna be Dobermans. And cynical little pugs. And you know what? I’ve never cared what others think about me. I’ve always been this way. I’m living my life. And I am fortunate. And I am excited. I am fortunate and excited.

Do you know the history of crate training? ’Cause I do. Don’t talk about things you don’t understand. Like saying dogs are wild. Dogs are wild—that is glib. Dogs are . . . I’ve done the research; there are crates that they put us in to quote unquote train us. They throw rattlesnakes at us. Electric-shock tags! I’m not making this up. This is . . . it’s history. Crate training just masks the problem. These dogs, they become zombies. You can totally handle disobedience naturally by saying 'No!' and 'Bad dog!' It works. Look at the facts. Shock tags?! I am disgusted.

hahaha! I fetch! Boy, I love to fetch. I am totally fired up when I fetch. And nap. I’ve got a great dog bed with leopard spots where I can power-nap, man. I’ve got awesome chew toys, too. I’m passionate about this rubber T-bone with peanut butter hidden in it. Here’s the point: do you know there are strays on the street eating out of the Dumpsters behind Chinese restaurants? I’m not making that up. I care about those mutts. But they don’t know what the options are. They don’t know that you can live in an apartment and get fed by a human. These hounds, man—when it thunders, they think the world is ending. Because they haven’t done the research. Do you know the statistics? A hundred and fifty dogs are being fixed every ten minutes. A hundred and fifty. Every ten minutes. I can’t . . . that’s just wrong. And I speak out about it."

...and so it goes!!!

My Dog is Tom Cruise

 

[ammayernyc]

Date: 7/21/2005 6:48:49 PM
Author: AGBF
This is an excerpt from an article in the July 25, 2005 ''The New Yorker''. A link below will take you to the entire article.


''I have to tell you, things are good. I am . . . I am . . . Whooo! . . . I am very good. I just returned from a walk and . . . ha! Things. Are. Good. I’ve got a bowl of hard kibble with some soft stuff mixed in. My name’s on the bowl! I am passionate about this lamb-and-rice recipe. What’s been going on? haha! I’m so in love with this bitch! hahaha! I can’t . . . I’m so . . . I can’t restrain myself. hahahahahaha! We met at the park. She was in the run for little dogs . . . ’cause she’s, well . . . ha! She’s petite. And I was over in the big run and . . . I am in love. I can’t be cool. This bitch is . . . I have total respect for her. Yesterday on my five o’clock, I just sniffed her a** for a while and then we frolicked. I can’t even describe it . . . we chased squirrels . . . frisked, you know . . . she likes to be physical, too . . . and to fetch and . . . We’re like anyone. We tore into this shoe and just had a ball. I’ll see her tomorrow on my 8 a.m. I am happy. I am . . . hahahahahaha! She is a wonderful, wonderful animal. I can’t . . . words don’t . . . owooooo! I can’t sit or stay, man. I need to get up on my hind legs and holler, you know! I gotta pee on something. And I don’t care what the other animals do or what their masters say. Listen, there are always gonna be pit bulls. There are always gonna be Dobermans. And cynical little pugs. And you know what? I’ve never cared what others think about me. I’ve always been this way. I’m living my life. And I am fortunate. And I am excited. I am fortunate and excited.

Do you know the history of crate training? ’Cause I do. Don’t talk about things you don’t understand. Like saying dogs are wild. Dogs are wild—that is glib. Dogs are . . . I’ve done the research; there are crates that they put us in to quote unquote train us. They throw rattlesnakes at us. Electric-shock tags! I’m not making this up. This is . . . it’s history. Crate training just masks the problem. These dogs, they become zombies. You can totally handle disobedience naturally by saying “No!” and “Bad dog!” It works. Look at the facts. Shock tags?! I am disgusted.

hahaha! I fetch! Boy, I love to fetch. I am totally fired up when I fetch. And nap. I’ve got a great dog bed with leopard spots where I can power-nap, man. I’ve got awesome chew toys, too. I’m passionate about this rubber T-bone with peanut butter hidden in it. Here’s the point: do you know there are strays on the street eating out of the Dumpsters behind Chinese restaurants? I’m not making that up. I care about those mutts. But they don’t know what the options are. They don’t know that you can live in an apartment and get fed by a human. These hounds, man—when it thunders, they think the world is ending. Because they haven’t done the research. Do you know the statistics? A hundred and fifty dogs are being fixed every ten minutes. A hundred and fifty. Every ten minutes. I can’t . . . that’s just wrong. And I speak out about it.''

...and so it goes!!!

My Dog is Tom Cruise

This is truly one of the funniest things I have ever read!

I laughed so hard that people at work came to my desk to ask me what was wrong. They all thought I was having an attack!

 

[kaylagee]

ROFL! Excellent! Thanks for the link!

 

[icekid]

OMIGOD that is the funniest thing I''ve seen in a while! love it! thanks for sharing

 

[Matata]

R O F L M A O

 

[kanne]

HA!

 

[teebee]

THAT is the funniest thing I have read in ages - I was waiting for FI to get out of the bathroom when I started reading and I literally almost peed my pants laughing so hard... whew... funny...

 

[Sparkster]

He is quoted as saying "I have never worried ... about what other people think and what other people say."

Don''t you find it odd then that he has taken out full page ads in newspapers denying his homosexuality and has threatened to sue the media that run stories that he is gay?

 

[IrishEyes]

WOW! That is too funny, I read it to my mom I thought it was so hilarious and oh-so-true!!!

 

[AGBF]

Well...due to Tom Cruise, a new phrase has apparently been entered into the lexicon of American slang: "jumping the couch". It must inspire pride to have been the muse for such an addition.

Jumping the Couch

Deborah

 

[blueroses]

WOW, I can''t believe I missed this one--I posted on all of the other Crazy McCrazypants (aka Cruiseazy) threads, but missed this one--that NYT thing is hilarious!!!