The Official TTC for 6 Months or More Thread

[redline_blueline]

Hello everyone. This thread has led me to stop lurking and officially join in on the fun. A big thank you to Steal for starting this - I could really use the camaraderie and support since I’m not really into sharing this stuff with my friends and family in real life.

So without further ado, I’d like to introduce myself . . .

I am 27 and DH is 28. We were married July 2009 and started TTC this past January. I went off BCP after being on it for 8 years and immediately went back to having normal cycles of 31-ish days with O - needless to say I was thrilled and was sure I would get KTFU rather quickly.

In April on cycle #3, which was the first one where our timing was good, I only had a 9 day LP (normally 10 or 11 days) so then I panicked and ran off to consult my good friend Google who told me that all I needed to do to correct a LPD was take lots of vitamin B6. And so I did . . . and my that’s when everything went haywire* . After taking the B6 for 2 weeks, I realized that I had very little CF and wasn’t progressing towards O like normal. I stopped taking it but no dice - I didn’t O that cycle and haven’t Oed since.

*I’m not saying that B6 doesn’t work for some, I’m just saying it didn’t work as expected for me (which isn’t really much of a surprise since I react strangely to all sorts of medicines and chemicals).

Currently, I’m doing my baseline monitoring cycle with my OB - which they do standard before progressing any patient onto infertility treatment. I’m on CD20 and on Monday morning I go into for my CD21 bloodwork (which will actually happen on CD22 but doesn’t really matter since I’m not Oing anyways). So far this cycle I’ve done my CD3 testing (FSH to LH ratio was 1:2.5 which is indicative of PCOS), CD8 ultrasound (ovaries look great), HSG (tubes were clear), and DH did his SA (count was very, very high and morphology was low but it doesn’t matter since the count was so high.) It looks like I’ll be moving on to Clomid next cycle in addition to whatever other cocktail of hormones my doctor sees fit to prescribe me.

I am devastated by the feeling that I brought this upon myself. My bloodwork is showing that I have PCOS even though I am thin and have never had an anovulatory cycle (except when on BCPs, of course). By definition PCOS is something that you always have and don’t suddenly develop - so I am adamant that I don’t have it. But mostly I’m just terrified that I will never get back to normal - some days this matters more to me than having a baby.

Also, it doesn’t help that every single one of my close friends has gotten KTFU since we’ve started TTC (to be fair, two of them were already preggers but just not “out” yet). The last baby will be born in February and it really hurts to think that I might not even be pregnant by then.

Thank you for reading my novel-length post. I’m really excited to be joining you and I promise my next post will be shorter!

 

[HOUMedGal]

Just wanted to pop in and say kudos to Miss Steal for starting this thread! It was so helpful to me to have other ladies around who had experienced a loss around the same time as me, and then to jump back on the TTC train with them at my side when it was time. I think it's actually pretty rare that having a baby is an "easy" process - so many women either A) have trouble getting pregnant in the first place, or B) have trouble staying pregnant. And when you find yourself in either of those positions, it is really helpful to have other women who know exactly how you feel to talk to.

So, that said, I wish all of you nothing but the best, and I will be lurking and sending random poofs of baby dust your way.

 

[Bliss]

Just wanted to add some love and support to this amazing thread and the incredible women who are in it.

As someone who went through a mc, my heart goes out to you who have also experienced a loss. I actually think about the first pregnancy often, even while pregnant now. I think about what it would have been like to have had the first. The love you feel from the moment you see those two lines is indescribable and that child is different from the next one.

After the mc, I used to think that I would feel so much better if only I could get pregnant again. My body just ached for it and I felt like I could not move forward when my body felt so empty. It was as if every atom of my being was crying out for the child we lost and nothing could console me. I just mourned and mourned the loss for what seemed like forever. The days just dragged out like lifetimes stretched end to end. Plus, my mc took nearly 2 months to resolve itself because my body still held on to the hormones for a long time. So I felt pregnant and had morning sickness with all the rest of the symptoms, which was very painful emotionally.

We were lucky enough to get pregnant again quickly... I feel like I want to say my mc took place in early December. I got my period in late January. I had wacky long cycles after the mc, with the first one in January being about 40 days long. We waited 3 months for my body to heal and got pregnant in April. From the moment I learned I was pregnant I was filled with joy and terror. My emotions were so mixed because I was so afraid to get attached to this baby in case of another loss. For a long time, I could barely believe I was pregnant. DH and I discuss this a lot and we feel like our "innocence" was taken away when we lost our first. The second pregnancy was all about making sure the baby was OK. We didn't giggle as much, silly people that we are... the extreme highs were tempered by the reality of what we knew could happen.

We tried to live each day as if it were new and just for us. And I have to say, time has definitely eased the hurt and grief. But I definitely do think about our first angel baby. He or she was my first love, after all. When I see our little girl for the first time, I will ask her if she saw her angel sibling in heaven. The first rush of joy for the baby who made me a mom for the first time - I will never forget. DH and I have so many fond memories even of those short 8.5 weeks. They were so beautiful and changed us forever. I know people suffer tremendous losses in life - but there is something very poignant about losing a baby before you even get to meet him or her. There are so many hopes and dreams that never get realized with that one tiny bean that means more than anything in the world.

This baby is a tremendous blessing we have today and we are so grateful for her. But my heart is with you all who have suffered a loss. There is truly nothing like it and I pray that you all have new pregnancies to celebrate soon. May your hearts be filled with love and heal with the joy that is motherhood. I know you will all be mothers and will love more deeply and treasure each moment of this miracle called life. Super duper hugs to you, my PS friends and sisters who have taken this journey along with us. I hope we help remind you that you *will* celebrate again, that you *will* one day be fearless and trust in the bounty of the universe and that you *will* all be amazing mothers.

 

[noelwr]

I can no way imagine what the emotions are like to have been TTC for a long time, but I am one of the ladies who had a m/c around the same time as HOU and Bliss, so I am quite familiar with those emotions. I was one of those who didn't want to wait several months for the emotional healing process, and went into TTC asap. after all, the m/c already "set me back" 6 months. if I hadn't gotten pregnant quickly it would have been extremely devastating for me, so I kind of have an inkling what you ladies are going through, but still far from it. and then once pregnant again, I think I was more terrified that it was going to happen again than really enjoying it.

I do believe that if you've been trying to TTC forever or are getting over a m/c, this is the same: hearing so many women around you get pregnant is really a blow to your self-esteem. at least it was for me. but now I'm actually one of the few ladies at the office who is pregnant, so I feel quite special. I didn't want to be part of the masses, as selfish as that may seem.

one of the things I hated the most is when you found out people around you were gossiping that you might be pregnant, when you knew very damn well knew you weren't AND you were trying so hard to be! it's amazing how insensitive people can be! granted, no one at work knew about my m/c, but there are still plenty of women who had a tough time falling pregnant that you'd think they'd at least have the decency to not get caught up in this type of gossip.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

AWWW! I love you ladies!!!!

Bliss-Your post made me cry, yep, for real, made me cry!

Noelwr-So glad that your precious little one is baking away and you are " not one of the masses"

Bliss, Hou, LV, Noelwr, thanks for popping over and cheering us on

 

[Steel]

I had intended to link the current thread on adoption in my first post but I forgot, so better late than never:

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/adoption-thread.151339/

Lots of great info there.

*****


I'll be back in a bit to post...

 

[Steel]

CDN: Thank you for sharing your journey. I’m glad to know you better but I am so sad to learn of your heartaches. You know I have been rooting for you from before your 2nd BFP and look forward to more good news coming your way, very soon. I completely related to your comment “Honestly, if I could get pregnant by myself, I would” it sounds like your DH has a demanding job, mine does too and he is away about 3 nights a week (worst case scenario) and when he is back I really feel guilty showing him the pink OPK and saying ‘get to it’. So as you said, if I could do it myself I really would.
As for this cycle, you are about the same as me aren’t you? So you are TWW’ing?

Bella: I am never going to find you…unless I see breadcrumbs...my cyber skills are akin to my abilities as an astronaut.

KTF: My heart was in my throat reading the detail of your loss. It breaks my heart that her heartbeat was still there. I have no words, just (((hugs))) .
Save those pictures somewhere safe; I would not delete them.
I understand that waiting is logical but it would be nice if Mother Nature decided to intervene – if the time was right for your body. And a 3 hour margin for error does allow for a oopsie.

Lili: Thank you, I paused for such a long time before clicking ‘new topic’ and had the text for the intro post written days before I clicked; I just didn’t know what to do for the best, but I knew I had to do something.
I love your posts so I would love for you to check in more regularly; you know where we are.
For me, it wasn’t begrudgery that I felt when a PS’er secured a hassle free BFP, just great sadness. Their instant BFP flies in the face of what I am doing – I’m have unprotected timed (neurotic ) sex to make a baby. But nothing is happening. So an easy BFP proves that there is something wrong with me and I couldn’t handle it any more.
I did the KTFUBC ’11 because it is a reasonable time frame and I don’t want anybody getting upset on 25th December 2010.
The quick OPK surge is funny, but obviously not uncommon. I was amazed as how strong and short it was. And you are right I had crazy EWCM on Monday and the + on Tuesday. Well, here is hoping…. (yeah, right )

Miss J: Our clinic offered the at-home sample option but DH was of the opinion of in for a penny in for a pound – that if he had to do it at all, he might as well not risk the deterioration of the sample if we were delayed getting it there (it is about a 1hr journey if there is traffic). I’m glad your DH had such good humour in getting the sample done and even happier it had great figures. As I alluded to before DH might have an issue or two which may be a fly in the SA ointment, so thank you for the good luck. I am hoping it will be perfect – but you never know.

Charbie: That makes me so mad. People tend to judge on their own experiences, which is fair enough, but when it comes to family they should make an effort to understand outside of their experiences. Moreover thank their lucky stars they didn’t suffer losses.

Po: So very welcome honey. Thank you for your honest post – I am sorry about the chemical pregnancies – they are very cruel . I hate to peddle my B’s again, but did you consider taking some extra B’s in the 2WW, it couldn’t hurt. And if you are getting CP’s then perhaps they are having a little trouble sticking properly – though I see your LP is great (from 14-16 ish days). I don’t know; it is just a thought. It is great news that you are working on your BMI and 50lbs is a wonderful achievement.
Do you have to go privately for your blood work in the New Year?
I’m so sorry the last 2WW was playing with you. I am so very sick of positive preggo signs . When I spot between 4-10DPO or have sore hot boobs, or pinching or lots of yellow watery CM, or metallic taste, I really feel cynical rather than hopeful. Kinda like fooled me once….KWIM?

PT: Wow, the 16th, that is great news. I’m glad all your tests were perfect – lets hope the clomid will get you super ovulating and the swimmers will be spoiled for hot dates when they arrive.

Redline,blueline: Hi, Sorry it is taking time to conceive. I completely understand your frustration and sadness. How do you think the extra B’s did anything to your cycle? B’s are just B’s – what you don’t use you pee out in glorious highlighter yellow coloured pee; I’m curious why you blame the B? I’m very happy for you that the tests were good. I mentioned about the SA morphology results earlier – was you DH in the 2-6% range or was he considered low for being under 14/30%, or did it not work like that? Again, good luck on the clomid and fingers crossed for not just ovulation but super ovulation –perhaps even twinnie winnies?

HOU: You know I stalk you so it is great to see you here and for you to be so supportive. I watch your posts with amazement and not just a little envy. Keep sending the dust over here.

Bliss: My other favourite mamma to be, hi honey. Like I said to HOU, I follow you too and often feel pangs of jealous. But in reading your post here I feel greater perspective. I am vey lucky to have not suffered the pain of losses –that I can be thankful for. Thank you for sharing – I read it with tears in my eyes for your little angel.

Noel: I’m overwhelmed at the understanding for the need for a thread like this, thank you very much for your post.

 

[Steel]

Waiting to O

Po.................................... CD3
Gaby................................. CD6
DCGator..............................CD9
Lauren the Partier...................CD14
Redlineblueline...................... CD21


In the Two Week Wait

CDNinNYC..................................4DPO* (approx)
Steal....................................... 4DPO
Bella........................................5DPO* (approx)
LAJennifer.................................12DPIUI


Lurking near the pool:

Lili
KTF

*Ladies – would you update your CD when you can, sorry if you did already?
*Charbie
*Parrottulips

____________________
And extra special dust outgoing to LAJenn:

 

[Dreamer_D]

Hey ladies, I will be lurking and of course wishing you all the best! HUGS to all!

 

[Steel]

On a little matter of business - I don't plan to police this thread to be sure posters are graduates of the TTC uno thread. In fact it is probably silly to have given that as a yard stick, perhaps a general 'for any posters who have been TTC for 6mths plus' would have been better . I just hope that newbie TTC'ers still full of the joys of spring will be able to get support, knowledge and enthusiasm on TTC uno and that those who have been around the block once too many can come here. It won't be exact but hopefully it will be better.


AFM: Oh my goodness. I am a very patient person (I never lose my temper) and I love my cats, every little furry inch of them. But Oh My God, it is like 'them and us' today. They won't stop wailing and warbling and meaowing and tripping me up and playing 'I can get there first' and stalking the fridge (there is cold chicken in there and they know it). There is a terrific rain storm going on today and they refuse to go out and so to punish me for the weather -because it is my fault- they are driving me crazy. And as most of your know, we are self building so there are only two doors in the whole house so unless I go to bed or the bathroom I am surrounded by crazy warbling furry torturers. Agh - my nerves. I need some doors - or less cats. Meeeeeooooooooooooooooooo

Apart from that - I'm about 4 DPO and having the usual 'oooh google meeeeeeeeeeeeee type symptoms' except I've been there and done that and have the page already bookmarked and still got a BFN - so I'm not falling for it.

Re: General gynae ultrasound. I have a non-fertility ultrasound on the 24th so between now and then if anybody has some thoughts on what info I could glean from the non-helpful Dr. would you let me know. I'm thinking about PCOS & polyps obviously but also tilted cervix/uterus and the like. But I don't really know what I am talking about so if you have had a general or infertility gynae ultrasound would you let me know your thoughts?

 

[Bliss]

Steal, you are like a beautiful morning full of sunshine. Your sense of humor and grace, quick wit and intelligence are such a treasure to this board. Of course, your compassion is unparalleled. We're cheering all you ladies on - I just feel such a kinship to everyone here.

Sometimes you just have to laugh and Steal, you help everyone do that. And sometimes you just need to sit on the couch and be MAD... or sad... or blue. I remember so many times sitting at work staring at the computer screen zoned out because I was exhausted from TTC, thinking about TTC and testing. I'd Google so many preggo symptoms on my phone in bed at night that DH wouldn't be able to sleep! I'd look at every single pregnant woman on the street and feel a deep sadness within, convinced that no one could ever understand. And I'd also read sad animal stories of dolphins or gorillas that had lost their young ones. They seemed to mourn in a wordless way that broke my heart - I knew what they were going though.

There was one news story in particular - a gorilla mama in a German zoo that refused to give up her baby that had passed away. She just kept the baby on her back and moved in endless circles as visitors watched and cried out of compassion for her. Zookeepers were afraid to take the baby away. The mama gorilla just wasn't able or ready to say goodbye. And that would make me cry and cry because I understood exactly how she felt. Sometimes there are no words for what we women go through. We are such incredibly deep and strong spiritual beings. Our capacity for faith and healing is endless.

I think TTC is a grieving process sometimes when you are struggling. There is just a feeling of loss there and a dull aching for something our bodies can't produce at will. But I promise you all that it does get better. We get stronger, we learn how to cope - we lean on each other. We laugh one day and that surprises us...then we laugh some more and it feels good. Small steps! They add up. And one day (soon), before you know it - you will all be mothers. I think of it like a heartbreak or break-up.. You sit there wondering WHEN it will stop hurting. Then one day, it does. And you're strong again. Happy, even! We will all get there together!!!

Bella, super hugs to you! Thanks for the super list again! You have helped me so much along the way... My sista from anotha motha!

I remember reading in The Alchemist that the darkest hour of night comes just before the dawn breaks. I held that idea close to my heart in my darkest hours when I wondered if I would ever feel whole again or ever climb off of the anxiety ridden, hope dashing rollercoaster that is TTC. When I finally got off the rollercoaster, my hair looked like Russel Brand's. Sexxxxay!

 

[charbie]

Finally, officially, I'm CD1. Was waiting on her to finally get here. She's just reminding me what ill be missing for an extended period of time. Stupid b*t%h.
Anyways...I was at an event this weekend where I spent a lot of time with college friends. After a glass of wine, I was all over telling everyone that next month is our month to really jump back on the train. It was crazy to have every other woman share a story of a m/c! I really think they are more common than discussed. Its crazy to think I could have been 9 months preggo right now! I'm really looking forward to TTC all out!

 

[Steel]

Charbie: So, this is the beginning ....CD2! The very best of luck this cycle.

Bliss: Thank you so much. I completely relate to what you said and I'm not even preggo - I can't watch the 'true movies' any more because I blub like a baby. Shame we aren't closer, I could have a good cry and you could cheer me up by letting me borrow that gigantic bauble of yours. That would make me happy .

DCgator: I hope your appointment went perfectly this morning -or now - I don't know your time difference and that you and your DH had a great mini-vacation.

LAJenn: ***Dust***


Okay, so I have a little problem and I think it might be communication based. I have been praying for my little octopus; for a little one to come into our lives and I wonder if the message was a little chewed on. Perhaps I should have been praying for a B.A.B.Y....

See what I mean
.
.
.
.
.
.



I took the dog out for a walk when I came back, DH had found this meowing outside the bedroom window. Do you think I should have been more specific?

 

[LadyBlue]

Steal, that cat is adorable. Are you going to keep it?

CD7 over here, I have a tiny problem. My in-laws and sister in-law with her family (a total of 8 people) are coming for a whole week, to celebrate thanksgiving. They are staying in the living room in a 800sq apartment. How am I supposed to every night (I will be Ovulating on that week) with 8 people in the other side of the door . My DH said it will be ok but I feel to have my mother in law a few feet’s away while trying to make a baby.

 

[CDNinNYC]

Bella, thanks for the hugs. I'm looking forward to reading more about your adoption journey. I have had adoption on the brain quite a bit lately and was curious to learn more about the process so I looked up the agency you're using. I noticed some of the countries have requirements that at least one of the parents be a US citizen. It never occurred to me that this would be an issue, not for you obviously, but for us if we ever go down that road. I'm assuming we'd have to go with an agency from our home country even though we no longer live there. Something to look into.

KTF, I'm very happy to see you posting again. Sending you hugs.

lili, I know you don't post often in these threads but I'm always happy when you do. I love seeing your avatar. I'd be more than happy to share how I post the emoticons if you like.

redline_blueline, Have you asked your doctor if the B6 could have caused all these problems? I was terrified the soy I took caused my EP but my doctor said it had nothing to do with it, just bad luck, unfortunately.

PO, your post really hit home with me. I keep telling myself and everyone around me that I'm doing ok but after spending a very girly weekend with friends, I acknowledge I've been self-medicating with food. Now I have to figure out a way to reverse the damage I've been doing.

Steal, thanks for your kinds words. After this weekend, I'm wondering if I'm just telling people what I think they want to hear because it's easier, you know? A friend make the observation she thought I was minimizing what happened for other people's sake, especially my parents and DH. Her comment really stopped me in my tracks. How do you know when you're lying to yourself?

On the front, I'm on CD18. I'm thinking will happen sometime this week. It's ranged from CD17 to CD 22, so we'll see.

That cat is adorable. I wish we could have a pet but we have a no pet policy in our apartment.

Gaby, 8 people! Yikes! I'm sure you can make it work but that's a crazy amount of people to have in such a small space. Good luck with that!

And here's you daily dose of TTC humour:

 

[Loves Vintage]

Steal - What a wonderful thread! Great idea! Look at that gorgeous blue-eyed kitty. Are you keeping her? I wonder if your cats were trying to alert you to her presence the other night!!

Po - I haven't had a chance to read through the entire thread yet, but I did want to comment on your post. I'm not sure if it's your GP, in particular, saying that he will not provide any assistance until you lose more weight -or- if this is an issue with the medical system -- in other words, there is a pre-set bmi range you have to fall under in order to qualify for medical diagnosis and treatment. I'm assuming it's the first, and it's your dr in particular. Is it possible for you to see another physician?? I have to share with you that I am overweight and none of the doctors that I saw, whether a regular ob/gyn or the RE, said anything to me about my weight. Not one word. To put things in perspective, I am sure we are in about the same place weight-wise, as I could stand to lose 50lbs. So, it makes me really sad that it sounds like your dr won't do any testing at all and is making you feel like this is all your fault! Perhaps there is another issue at play. Should you at least be entitled to some testing to sort things out????

Gaby - Yikes! Maybe you can send them all out to a different museum each afternoon?????

 

[LaurenThePartier]

Just a (what started out as a) drive-by post, but I caught up on this thread on my drive home from the in-laws this weekend in Houston. Needless to say, I was in tears after reading some of your stories.

Bliss - I had to turn off the phone because tears came to my eyes when I was reading through your story last night. Your strength and eloquence in presenting your challenges and joys give me so much hope. I wish I could have met you when I was in NYC, just to give you a hug.

CDN - Your friend's comment actually strikes me, too. I have a habit of minimizing my own pain around people, including DH, who I should feel like it's ok to bawl about our loss with. And I did feel comfortable for a couple of weeks afterwards, when I had the excuse of hormones causing momentary snaps into crying jags. I still need those moments to catch my breath at times, and I feel like telling people it's all behind me and I'm looking forward may, in fact, be lying to myself, as well.

Bella - I know you want to be a Mom so badly, so I'll also be following your adoption journey with hope.

Gaby - I can relate, and my advice; just do it! I just spent the weekend in my in-laws very tiny house with very hollow doors during what should have been O weekend with plenty of EWCM. I'm sort of angry at my own modesty because we didn't BD until we got home last night. Luckily, we had a BD session before we left, but still . . . if I miss the eggie this past weekend because of my own stupid modesty, I will be so angry with myself.

Steal - You crack me up! That cat is adorable, but I have to wonder if you knew that when you order an octopus, the universe considers cats as land-octopii because their tails act as the other 4 legs. . . I'm pretty sure you knew about this because you're a cat owner, with cats who hold you responsible for the weather being rainy, and like to constantly be underfoot.

Charbie - Yay on CD1!!!!

DD - so happy to see you pop by! Many congrats to you, my dear!

DCgator - Hope your appointment went well, and I hope your little vacay does the trick!

LAJennifer - ****dust to you*****

Po - Huge hugs to you, hun. Reading your story was heartbreaking and honest. I'm so glad to have you here on this journey.

Lili - So glad to see you here, too!

Redline-Blueline - Welcome to the thread, and PS as a whole. I hope your next step on this crazy journey is successful for you, but we'll be here to cheer you on.

For anyone I missed, How are you?


__________
AFM; I'm CD16. As I mentioned, I just got home from a little weekend trip to the in-laws in Houston, with no BDing in sight because of such close quarters. BDed the night before we left and literally the minute we got home. No temp spike yet, so I think we're safe, but I will be so miffed if I missed it this month because I was embarrassed. On the way home in the car, I had a nagging cramp on the left side, and it was so unusual, that I was hoping that was it, but once I got home and temped this morning, no spike. Grrrrr @ phantom pains in the most inconvenient places.

It's quite ok though because I had a great time on Saturday night and got to see my bestie while I was there. So, not a total loss.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Po - I haven't had a chance to read through the entire thread yet, but I did want to comment on your post. I'm not sure if it's your GP, in particular, saying that he will not provide any assistance until you lose more weight -or- if this is an issue with the medical system -- in other words, there is a pre-set bmi range you have to fall under in order to qualify for medical diagnosis and treatment. I'm assuming it's the first, and it's your dr in particular. Is it possible for you to see another physician?? I have to share with you that I am overweight and none of the doctors that I saw, whether a regular ob/gyn or the RE, said anything to me about my weight. Not one word. To put things in perspective, I am sure we are in about the same place weight-wise, as I could stand to lose 50lbs. So, it makes me really sad that it sounds like your dr won't do any testing at all and is making you feel like this is all your fault! Perhaps there is another issue at play. Should you at least be entitled to some testing to sort things out????

I was not going to say anything, but since LV said it first I will jump on board and say DITTO! I am also close to 50lbs over the BMI ideal at this point and have never had a doctor say anything to me. Though being overweight is a risk factor for infertility, it is not a 100% correlation and it seems terrible for a medical practitioner to deny you treatment/investigation on those grounds. I have to say, it sounds a little like anti-fat prejudice to me. For example, being underweight is a risk factor for infertility, yet you never hear women being denied care until they have *gained* 30 lbs You are entitled to the full level of medical care that any woman deserves and is entitled to, no matter your BMI. Shame on your doctor for making you feel like this is in any way "your fault" -- escpecially since even if weight and infertility are linked, it could be the case that a third medical variable that is as-yet undiagnosed causes BOTH. It is simply wrong-headed to assume that weight is the culprit without further investigation.

Sorry if this mini-rant is not helpful, but at the very least I want you to know, Po, that I am on your side and rooting for you. And I hope you can find a more open-minded doctor.

 

[HOUMedGal]

Steal - sending a big cyber-hug to you. I have so appreciated your support (stalking, whatever you wanna call it, LOL!) and rest assured I will be doing the same to you, and I'll be one of the first to congratulate you when you share your good news here!! I understand that jealousy (watching women who got pregnant around the same time as me progress through normal pregnancies while I was stuck waiting to try again while my body sorted itself out) and I want nothing more than for you and the other ladies in this crowd to have the experience of being on the other side too. Dust will continue to flow freely toward you!!
Oh, and that kitty is RIDICULOUSLY cute...are you keeping him/her? Or fostering till you find a good home? How old do you think he/she is? We fostered a teeny little thing for a couple weeks several months ago and luckily found him a really good home - they even sent us pics after a month or two to show us how he had grown! It was painful to send him to his new home, but I'm pretty sure our other three would NOT have been happy with a 4th furry family member.

Bliss, Noel, LV - so cool to see my kindred sisters over here!! You ladies really don't know how important you have been to me during this journey. *HUGS*

Hope everyone's having a good beginning-of-the-week!!

 

[modernsparkler]

Coming out of lurkdom status on this thread to say Steal, that cat sure is a beauty! Maybe she might be bringing you extra luck this month!

Hugs to all!

 

[dcgator]

Hey ladies,

Well, it looks like quite a lot has happened since I went on my mini vaca. I tell ya, I go away for a few days and up pops a new thread, lol. Steal - Lots of thanks for including me despite my absense. I am back now and will properly introduce myself (and my story) to you all.

I am 28 and DH is 27. We got married in June of 2009 and we knew that we wanted to have little ones ideally before I was 30, since we want a couple, and don't want them back-to-back. I had been on the pill for about 10 years, so that was concerning me a bit. In addition, I have been plagued by follicle cysts for years now and my mum has a history of miscarriage/tumor issues, so I was concerned it would be difficult and/or take me a while to get pregnant. So, I consulted with my OBGYN in December 2009 and she told me that I should be ok and to start trying and ditch the BC and set me up on prenatals. I read all my books, and got ready of this whole TTC/pregnancy thing.

Unfortunately, it turns out, I was right. It has been quite difficult to get KU and one hell of an emotional roller coaster. I took January - March/April casually, not perfect timing it, but also charting and temping to get a sense for my cycles. Aside from some weight gain and other goofy side effects, I had pretty textbook cycles right out of the gate. While my Ovulation date did tend to swing within a week or so my cycles were generally 25-30 days. After April, I was getting antsy, so we really strarted "trying". Fast forward to September, with one chemical and one false positive down, tensions were high. I had stopped running (my DH and I like to run half-marathons), drinking caffine, meditating, and a few other things, all with the hope that it would positively impact the TTC thing, but alas, no luck. After reviewing charts, etc, it looks like we hit within the fertile period for all 10 cycles, save one month, so clearly, something was not clicking. Add in my suddenly shorter LP's and spotting for days before AF, my OB took pity on me and recommended I go see an RE.

We completed all the testing, HSG, bloodwork and SA with the RE. I was all good. DH has a slight morpholgy issue, but quantity seemed to make up for it, however, the RE suggested that since we were clearly timing right, and being young, with no other issues, we proceed with IUI with Clomid. All ART treatments are monitored with my RE, so after taking Clomid, we were able to see that I only produced one really viable (and one tiny) egg. Clearly, that did not do much. So, now I am on my second IUI with Clomid and Follistm (FSH), which is the next step in the IUI game.

*****
So that's what has happened up till now. Currently, I am CD 11. This cycle, I did my Clomid from CD 4-8 and a Follistm injection on CD8. As some of your ladies kindly asked, yes, I had my monitoring appt yesterday. They found three smaller eggs, so they had me do another dose of Follistm last night. I went back this morning for more monitoring, and my three little piggies have plumped up nicely, to 22.7, 18.1 and 19.9. So, they will have me trigger tonight and go in on Thursday for my IUI. Yeah for more targets! All in all, I am feeling pretty psyched for this cycle and am super hopeful it will work this time, especially since we have better odds, so to speak. Truth be told, I am a wee bit worried about having more than one eggie get fertilized, but I would MUCH prefer that to the alternative of more treatments and unsuccessful procedures. So, here we go... I appreciate any luck/dust you ladies could send this way. Thanks!

 

[Dreamer_D]

DUST DCgator!!!

 

[CatLuver]

Steal - I think it was a great idea to start this thread. TTC is such an emotional and difficult journey if it doesn't happen right away and it helps so much to have the support of others who are going through the same thing.

dcgator - cheers for 3 plump eggies! Super dust that this will be the magic cycle.

CDN - whenever I see you post I hope so much for you too.

Dust to everyone for lots of BFPs.

 

[dcgator]

As for the lovely ladies in here, I am going to try my best to address you all, but I have more work than time to do it in, so please forgive me for my briefness. I will try to contribute more later:

Steal - Thanks for starting the thread and including me in it I know it has been a bit of a rough go for us in the past couple months, but I think the other ladies are right, it's a struggle and it hurts like others can't imagine, but we will make it through and we will get our little ones. I just thank God I have wonderful people like you here to help me through it Regarding the SA stuff, I will get you the metrics that I am using/submitting to insurance later, but remind me if I don't tomorrow. Btw, you MUST keep that cutie pie. I get the urge for a third one sometimes, but I think my DH would kill me, lol. However, if one just showed up on my doorstep, I don't think either of us could say no, especially to that face.

Houie, Bliss, LTP, Charbie, KTF, Noel and CDN - As much as I may complain, I can't begin to imagine how awful it is to go through a loss like you ladies had. I only pray that I will have half the grace and resolve to get through it, should it happen. You ladies are truely an inspiration and I appreciate the advice and help you all contribute.

Charbie - I know you have had such a rough time through the m/c and I can only imagine the worries you must have for another m/c, but like Lili said, happy thoughts. I feel like in this very uncontrolable situation, that is about all we can do sometimes. I also know this month was kind of a let down, but I think when you really want to start "trying" again, you should be able to get KU again quickly. Fingers crossed

KTF - I think its great that you feel like you are ready to jump back into the TTC pool, but I would definitely consider your doc's advice. Or, if you don't feel like you can wait that long, maybe talk to them and see if you could negotiate that a bit, if you hit certain medical milestones or something. Either way, I hope that you will be able to start soon so that you can get KU every sooner!

LTP - I am so very sorry for the loss of your LO and you tube, but I think that it will all be okay. Plenty of people get KU with one tube and it seems like you have a great attitude about it. Hopefully that will be the winning combination! Good luck with catching your eggie this month

CDN - Goodness gracious girl, you must have the patience of Ghandi. I can't imagine holding out for a year like you did. I suppose I am just way to anal, but God bless you for your resolve. I really hope that you and your DH are able to get KU up again soon and are able to have a healthy and happy LO. Big hug!

Po - I am so very sorry with how lone this proces has been for you. Feel free to tell me to shut my whinning whenever you like! I am also seriously sorry about that awful GP. Women with "extra weight" can get pregnant with no problem, so I don't think that automatically makes you a non-candiate for assistance. I second everyone else's recommendation to get another opinion. This whole process is bad enough without having unhelpful doctors. Grr. Super big hug and please vent/share whenever you need someone.

LV, Houie and Bliss - I hope we can all graduate soon and join you lovely ladies, sharing pics of our beautiful bellies and nusuries and such.

Redline_Blueline - We are glad you have decided to come out of lurkdome. Welcome to TTC 2.0!

Lili - I am so glad you decided to pop over here. I know you must be feeling some serious disappointment about the IUI's, but I have faith that you will get that other LO, one way or another. Please do continue to keep us updated!

MissJ - I am sorry to hear that you have had such a tough road too, but am happy that you can share here. Hang in there hun!

Bella - I'm glad to hear the adoption is progressing well. I hope that you and your DH are matched with some LO's soon! And if it happens that you get KU before then, what a blessing that would be!

Parrot - I am also confused a bit on your IUI's. Is it correct that your OB did the IUI's and not an RE? I didn't even know that they did that. I am also surprised that he/she did not do an HSG before doing the IUI. That seems kinda counterproductive to me. I mean, if you have a particular issue, IUI might not do anything but waste time and money, where as, if you knew what you were trying to fight, you could better go at the problem, if you know what I mean. That being said, are you going to progress to an RE for more testing now and are you and your DH considering doing another IUI (with Follistm) or were you just going to go au natural for a while? Oh, one more question, what was your OB's assesment of what the issue was, or was he just doing the IUI to speed up the process?

Gaby - I too did not realize you had been at this a while. I am sorry it has been such a long process, but we are here for you. Also, may I ask why you are anti RE? Is it a philosophical/religous thing or more just plain old don't want to go? (If that is too personal, just ignore me). Oh, and I would be all over DH like white on rice. Get those houseguests to a movie, then dinner, then something else everyday, lol

RC - Big congrats again on the excellent betas. LOADS of sticky dust for you!

****
Oh, I thought I would add to my earlier post that my RE has diagnosed with unexplained infertility, since there is not really anything wrong with us, and we are healthy and of a good age, etc.

 

[lili]

DC--
for 3 little piggies!
Dust dust dust dust!
November is already to a good start

LV, Bliss, HMG and Noelwr--
It's so nice to have you ladies drop in and offer your support and love.
I am so happy to see that you ladies are doing well and your little ones are thriving.
Can't believe you are all in the 3rd trimester already.
Can't wait to meet your little girls.

LPT--
Here's hoping that you didn't miss your window.
Glad you had fun w/ your bestie on your little weekend trip.

CDN--
^.^ Thanks. That's my little rugrat.
I'll try to post more often then.
I'm a wall flower and wonder sometimes if anyone even read my posts (at least on other threads
I would love to know how to post emoticons...but I'll just quote yours since you seem to find the funniest ones.

Gaby--
8 people.
I guess it's hard to send them off to do something w/o one of you being there since you guys are the hosts.
I hope you find a way. Fingers crossed and good luck.

Steal--
Yes, that's it. I know the whole TTC process can take months, but when I see these instant BFPs, it just kind of reaffirms that something is wrong with me, even though medically there is not and I should be able to conceive normally.
That kitty is just a.d.o.r.a.b.l.e!
Are you going to adopt it?
You know....I kept hearing stories after stories about women falling pregnant immediately after their adoptions of their babies ^.^
Good luck on the 24th. Another thing you might want to ask is your uterine lining.

Charbie--
*hugs*
I have the same fear too.
I know it is hard to brush aside, especially when you've gone through it.
Happy thoughts, happy thoughts.
Yes, it is easier said than done, but I just have to remind myself some things are beyond my control.

redline_blueline--
Welcome and glad you came out of lurkdom.
That's great you've already got the ball rolling with the RE.
I hope the process is quick and short for you.

ParrotTulips--
I had the same confusion as DCGator too in regards to your IUI prior to the HSG.
But it looks like your pipes are good and open.
I'm hoping that maybe the HSG will do its trick on lubing the tubes and allow you to have a BFP this cycle.
Same question as DC about your next step with the RE?
Will you proceed w/ IUI w/ Follistm or other injectibles?
Good luck.

PO--
*hugs*
Ditto the other ladies about finding some other RE.
Weight does affect TTCing, but it doesn't necessarily means infertile.
My cousins were overweight and my sisters underweight, but they all got pregnant w/o problem.
I'd look for someone who'd be willing to proceed w/ some basic diagnostics at least.

MissJaxon--
LOL...I had the same thought too.
I guess you think it is that easy just because IRL, people don't share the pains of m/c and difficulties of TTC.
I wish you the very best.

I'm cautiously posting this ... 17-18DPO

 

[parrot tulips]

DCG & Lili - My apologies for being vague. I'm always so afraid of writing a mini novel, I inevitably leave out some details.

My full story:

My husband and I (both mid 30's) have been actively TTC for almost 15 months now.

Since the day I stopped taking BC, my cycles have been extremely regular (28 days, with the rare 29 day cycle thrown in the mix). According to both my temps and OPK's, I ovulate on the same day of every single cycle. We've always been an EOD or more kind of couple, but after making the decision to try and start a family, we threw in a little extra around ovulation time. After about 10 months, we couldn't figure out why nothing was happening, so I called and made an appointment with an OB.

All of the standard tests were run for both my husband and I prior to my initial appointment, and everything looked textbook. My OB was thrilled, and said everything looked fantastic. He mentioned having an HSG could be helpful, but it was up to me at this early stage in the game (I had declined, since he didn't make it seem like a big deal). In order to speed the process up a little, though, I left the appointment with a prescription for a low dose of Clomid, and instructions to come in for back to back IUI's (which my OB performed, and which were unmonitored) upon receiving a positive OPK. 3 failed cycles later, I asked my doc if there was anything else I could/should be doing. He mentioned the HSG again, so I had it done (all clear).

After the HSG, I decided to give myself a break from the monitoring, medication, etc., and to let things happen...organically. When AF showed up again, I made a decision - I wanted to change doctors. Not because of the lack of results, but because I found mine so dismissive and uninformative. Every question I had ever asked was answered with, "Don't worry about it, because you ovulate." Including whether it would have been better/wiser to have the HSG done before the other steps.

So I'll be seeing an RE next week. What I hope to get out of it...more clarity, whether it's with more tests, or just answering questions. I'd also like to discuss what he thinks the best move is for our next step. Until then, we're just letting things happen naturally.

 

[redline_blueline]

Just wanted to send out a quick post (I really should be putting away my clean clothes instead of leaving them on the bedroom floor . . . where they’ve been since I did laundry . . . which might have been yesterday . . .)

Steal: I blames the B vites because the cycle I started taking them was the cycle that everything went all pear shaped. Pretty quickly after starting the B vites I noticed that I had no noticeable CM, my skin started breaking out like crazy, and my BBs lost about a cup size - there was definitely a crazy hormonal shift there! The CM has returned to normal, but the bad skin and smaller BBs have remained, along with no O. This crazy reaction isn’t really out of the norm for me, I routinely get the strangest and rarest side affects to medication - I am allergic to antihistamines (which really is the definition of irony)! I think part of the problem was that I took the B vites starting on CD1 instead of only in the TTW. Regarding the SA results, my doctor said that they consider male factor morphology to be less than 55% normal, assuming a normal count of 22 million. DH’s morphology was 47% normal but his count was 138 million - which is still more swimmers with good morphology than the baseline of 55% normal morphology with a count of 22 million. Hope that makes sense. Also, for your ultrasound you should be able to see if you lining matches your CD.

CDN: I did ask my doctor if the B vites could have caused all of my issues and she seemed to want to reserve judgement until she had the test results from my baseline cycle. All of my testing is facilitated through a nurse, so I haven’t seen my doc since she referred me for testing - but I see her on the 15th so I’ll let you know what she says. My acupuncturist does think that the B vites did cause the problems. She found some info that said that too much B vites before O can cause anovulation for 4 months average. I’m sorry about your EP . . . heart breaking like I can’t imagine. And I hear you on the husband with a mistress called work.

Gaby: A tip from 17 year old me . . . if you get busy on the floor it’s quieter than on the bed. Just saying . . .

dcgator: TTC 2.0 - I like that! It’s like TTC 1.0, just better and more evolved. I have good feelings for you this cycle! Dust!

I don’t have time to reply to everyone right now, but thank you all for the warm welcome!

 

[Steel]

Gaby: The kitty is such a heartbreaker – but we have 4 already and it is havoc, No.5 has to be a dealbreaker. So we will foster him until and if we find him a great home.
About your house guests I have 2 words for you: Carpet burn. And if you don’t know what I mean then your absolutely have to get off the bed and find out.

CDN: I miss your avatar – but looking at diamonds isn’t anything to complain about.
About the stories we tell ourselves, I have found that the lies I tell myself are the best ones; after all I have a captive audience. While it is often true that misery loves company you can be damned sure misery is not on anybodies guest list and so we often whitewash a little, it is normal. KWIM?
Happy egg hunting – did you use the SI this month?

LV: Thanks honey. I'm sure I saw your pic on the preggo thread - looking great mamma-to-be!

LTP: Oh yeah! I know about cats and their 15 legs – especially when it is time to get into the cat carrier! Glad you had a nice him in Houston. I meant to ask you – did you say once you were diagnosed with hypothyroidism? Was that going to affect your ovulating? Are you on meds now? I hope you get the temp rise soon and can relax (ha) into the TWW.

HOU: Awh, and ((hugs)) right back at you and that beautiful little bebe girl you are baking– she will be amazing. Regretfully with 4 cats in the house, this fella is only here for fostering. But it is breaking my heart. I love him already.

ModernS: I thought you were TTC for longer than 6mths? Not that I would wish that on you. Time stood still on TTC Uno so I am probably mixed up.

Dcgator: I was glad to read your story and get to know you a little better. So at this stage do you think that the clomid on its own was not going to be productive for you? Did your RE have any comment on the success of this cycle in comparison to the relative poor success of the 1st clomid only stimulation? I would love twins – could you imagine if you guys did get a multiple !!!!!!
With more than one target your DH’s swimmers are absolutely going to get their leg over this week.
***********I wish you heartfelt dust********** Next month you will be on the preggo thread.
ETA: Yes please post your info *reminder*.
Of course I was going to include you over here – us long timers gotta look out for one another.
I so want to keep the kitten but 5 cats……

Catluver: Hi there, thanks for stopping by and dusting! Much appreciated.


Lili: Hi honey, don’t tempt me about the kittie – I want to keep him so badly but we are outnumbered and running out of places to hide as it is.
BTW – I always read your posts – I just wish you posted more often so I could get to know you better.
Thanks for the ultrasound tip- I will ask about my lining.
About the emoties – they are a mystery to me so I just save them to my desktop and upload them as if they were a picture and then add them into my posts through the new ‘img’ button.
Wherever you are cycle wise ***dust***


PT: Wonderful to get to know you better – thank you for posting. I remember you posting on TTC uno about holding off on the HSG and then when you went in for that final test. I feel that an unexplained infertility must be more frustration in terms of ‘game plan’ than a diagnosis of x,y or z. I must say the advice offered by your 1st RE is what I am hoping for – just to go on clomid and try the ‘wait and see’ approach for a bit, though reading your post I feel a little silly in thinking that. It really isn’t a great idea is it? Anyhoo, I am glad you have your appointment – the 16th isn’t it? Not long now…

RB: Don’t you have a ‘cleaning fairy’? My husband has one – he takes his clothes off and ‘lays them’ in an ‘organised’ heap on the floor and then the cleaning fairy comes to visit and they end up on hangers in the wardrobe. **magic**
Really odd about your reaction to the B’s…hmmmm?
Thank you so much for posting the SA numbers and also about my uterine living v’s CD – great advice!

Po: Did you watch the final part of 'the little house' on ITV, monday night? I loved it !
How are you?
_________________________

AFM: The weather (high winds and heavy rain) is playing havoc with my connection. Sometimes it takes up to 40 seconds just to change page never mind attempting to post.
I’m approx 8DPO and ignoring everything. I have promised myself not to test until AF gets here……doh! So another 6ish days – that makes this a potential 30 day cycle as opposed to my (used to be) regular 28 day’er, and last month with my potential chemical was 30 days too.
In the interest of full disclosure I have 2 Amazon tests and 1 know it all CB digi in the house and when AF comes, I expect to have that exact same inventory count.
I started temping too - I know it is a lesson in futility (I'm a poor sleeper and often sleep with my trap open) (by trap I mean; my mouth - I'm temping orally ) but I'm grasping at straws these days. I'm in the practice now so CD1 will be my first official chart - though I'm not using FF. I got a fertility temping chart book from the chemist and am using that. Pretty soon I'll be stuffing a wooden spoon with blue & pink ribbons down my bra - desperate times...desperate measures. But it will give DH a shock .

About the kitten. I want him so badly and think we would care for him so well here – but 5 cats…. It is too many cats. It makes my heart ache at the thought of giving him away, but 5 is too many.

 

[Steel]

Waiting to O

Charbie...............................CD3 (Edited)
Po.................................... CD6
Gaby................................. CD9
DCGator..............................CD12 (IUI tomorrow! )
Lauren the Partier...................CD18
CDNinNYC.............................CD20
Redlineblueline...................... CD24


In the Two Week Wait

Steal....................................... 8 DPO
Bella........................................8DPO* (approx)
LAJennifer.................................15DPIUI

Lurking near the pool:

Lili
KTF

*Ladies – would you update your CD when you can, sorry if you did already?
*Parrottulips
*MissJaxon

Sorry if I have missed anybody - just let me know....
____________________
And extra special dust outgoing to Dcgator & LAJenn:

 

[Dreamer_D]

Steal When you wake, just close your yap for about 2 minutes and then temp, lie quietly while you wait. Or temp vaginally. Those are the solutions to being a mouth breather!