The Official TTC for 6 Months or More Thread

[Prana]

Tammy and Prana, my heart goes out to both of you right now. I so know exactly what you are both feeling. The pain of fertility difficulty is just so raw even now that I'm pregnant. I know it is frustrating when nothing physical is seemingly wrong and the fertility is unexplained, BUT as frustrating as it is, the fact that there are no known issues means that there are likely many options for you to explore and a much higher chance that a little boost of fertility treatment will help you find success. It's hard to keep the faith, and it is so easy to jump to worst case scenario, but I really think you have both only scratched the surface of the options available to you when you are ready to take the next step. I'll be keeping both of you in my thoughts as you try to decide what the next step will be. Big hugs ladies! I'm glad you have this place to vent!

Prana, I also want to reassure you that if you decide to try clomid, I would think they would put you on a very low dose - maybe 25 or 50 mg - and you would have very little chance of overstimulating. I've known many people who used clomid, and I've not heard of one person becoming sterile from it. It might be possible, but I'm sure it's a very rare situation. Also, if you look at the stats, the risk of multiples is not that significant, especially because you would be monitored by a doctor to determine your response. I'm not saying that it is the right option for you, but I do think it is a pretty safe first step to try if you and your doctor decide that is the right step for you.

Fisher, prayers going out to you that you will soon have cause to feel joyful again!

Thanks MP. Your support means a lot. I know in my heart that I will have a baby eventually, but it's hard to understand why it is happening this way. I have an appointment tomorrow morning with my Dr. to discuss intervention. CD1 was last night/today, so I should be able to start clomid this cycle if I get to her tomorrow and we decide that that is my best option at this point in time. Maybe that will give me a little boost/better ovulation and do the trick.

 

[JGator]

Tammy and Prana, I am very sorry you are going through this. I did want to chime in on Clomid. I took it for 3 cycles in a row, and I did not have any issues with sterility. I took 50MGs for 5 days each of the cycles. I know MP and Bright took 25MGs. I was able to produce 3-4 good size follicles each cycle which were eligible targets for ovulation/insemination with the Clomid plus Trigger Shot plus timed intercourse. I had minimal side effects - felt warm the first cycle right after taking Clomid. We did get a chemical pregnancy on the first try (2 months after my MC) and a viable (9 weeks) pregnancy on the 3rd try. I am sending you both hugs and I wish you the very best in this journey to motherhood.

Prana, I know how you feel about all your friends having babies. I am older than you, and my friends all have kids that are in elementary school or older. I wasn't having TTC issues as I wasn't married yet or trying, but I still felt that pain every time someone told me they were pregnant as I have always wanted to be a mom.

 

[Prana]

Tammy and Prana, I am very sorry you are going through this. I did want to chime in on Clomid. I took it for 3 cycles in a row, and I did not have any issues with sterility. I took 50MGs for 5 days each of the cycles. I know MP and Bright took 25MGs. I was able to produce 3-4 good size follicles each cycle which were eligible targets for ovulation/insemination with the Clomid plus Trigger Shot plus timed intercourse. I had minimal side effects - felt warm the first cycle right after taking Clomid. We did get a chemical pregnancy on the first try (2 months after my MC) and a viable (9 weeks) pregnancy on the 3rd try. I am sending you both hugs and I wish you the very best in this journey to motherhood.

Prana, I know how you feel about all your friends having babies. I am older than you, and my friends all have kids that are in elementary school or older. I wasn't having TTC issues as I wasn't married yet or trying, but I still felt that pain every time someone told me they were pregnant as I have always wanted to be a mom.

Hi JGator! Thanks for your Clomid advice. I'm really happy that it worked for you. I hope it works for me too. Maybe it will be just the little kick that my ovaries need. I spot before I get AF, but my Dr. does not want to check or prescribe progesterone- she believes the Clomid will give me a better ovulation, in turn giving me a better corpus luteum, in turn equalling more progesterone. I think that's the mentality behind it...
Thanks again, I know we'll become parents someday. Hopefully someday soon!

 

[tammy77]

Hi Prana,

I'm SO sorry that you're struggling too. I thought of you after I'd posted in the other TTC forum (I refuse to call it "regular" or "normal" or whatever, just "other" tyvm...). I want to thank you for coming out of lurking. You're absolutely right and I echo your feelings, sadly, about all of the crazy thoughts.

I've recently had those same thoughts more and more, each month getting stronger - be it sadness, anger, confusion (usually all three) plus failure. Oh my gosh it just rocks me to the core. I'm usually okay/functioning except for once I know that the cycle is a bust (usually by 12 DPO for sure). So from about 11-12 DPO to CD2 is pretty much hell. By CD2 I've rallied but as the list of things I can do to improve our chances dwindles, my stress and all that negativity just skyrockets, ugh.

Anyhow, I'm here with you my dear. I know that Bright and Fisher are here too. Fisher, oh honey I never properly replied to you because I just didn't know what to say. My heart just breaks into pieces when I think about your loss. You're such an amazing person and I pray for you to have your little baby to hold soon, I really do.

To answer questions, I might consider clomid in 2 more cycles. I'm doing everything that I can to have faith that God's plan is for us to have a spring baby for whatever reason. I know that if I knew for sure that I'd be pregnant in 3-4 months I would be totally okay and happy. We all know that isn't possible, but in 2 months if we're still not pregnant I want to move to a little more medical intervention. I've given myself until my 36th birthday to get pregnant pretty much and I'm really hopeful that it doesn't take that full year. I'm just glad that DH and I didn't wait to try. Our original plan was to start trying with my March cycle. So I'm just trying to tell myself that there's a bigger reason, we will have a baby and figure out a way to drown out that little voice in my head that says "but what if it's not that you're meant to later, but rather never at all".

Anyhow, sorry to throw my own little pity party over and over. I know I need to put on my big girl panties and tackle this head on. I might try to get my GP to order an HSG for me, but the truth is, this AF is actually much easier to manage than last month. My LP was the longest it's ever been (14 days), my ovulation was right on 14 days, cramps are lighter and flow is normal. I'm just a raving emotional lunatic, but I don't think that's a medical issue.

Big hugs girls! I'm so thankful for all of the support on PS and am really happy that we have a place to let our guard down about this stuff together.

 

[BrightSpot]

Ok, here I am! A brief history (for those of you who don't know me). I'm 36, dh is 39 (until next month). I went off the pill in 1/11. After 6 months of trying & charting, I went in for testing, all of which came out ok except slightly low progesterone & the saline ultrasound, which showed polycystic ovaries. Dh's SA showed low counts & borderline morphology. 
After a year of trying (and a diagnosis of pcos & worsening hair loss by the day), I got my first bfp on our first assisted cycle (50mg clomid + ovidrel & IUI). Unfortunately our 6w u/s only showed an empty sac (diagnosis of blighted ovum). We waited for miscarrige, then were given misoprostol to move things along. It didn't work so I ended up having to have a d&c. 
So now I am about to have a second IUI. I'm much sadder & even more scared. I'm scared of it not working & also scared of it working (afraid of another m/c). I'm really looking forward for this tcc process to be over one way or another. From the pain of infertility to the crushing self esteem blow that is pcos (especially the hair loss), this has been one of the roughest periods in my life. 

Tammy, repeating my post to you from the original (that ok to say?) ttc thread. Big hugs to you & sorry about af. I really don't think it will be much longer for you, but the uncertainty is really awful, isn't it? I think an hsg is a good idea. Everything else has checked out well & it would be helpful to know if there's a blockage. I've also heard lots of stories of women getting ku shortly after their hsg's. Also a little clomid isn't a bad idea. 

Prana, I'm so sorry you've been suffering but glad you're posting & seeking support. This is a hard process to go through alone (or just with your dh). It really helps to be able to talk to people who are going through something similar. I've started seeing a counselor recently & find that it helps. Hopefully it will help you as well. 
 I've had most of the awful feelings you've described & it's not fun stuff. 
And I just attended my SIL's baby shower & I can't lie-it was really hard. Even more so because we were planning to announce our pregnancy the day after the shower, so I couldn't stop thinking about that & how much of a different experience it turned out to be. My other SIL just had a baby so visiting the in laws is really hard for me now because all of the talk is baby related. It makes me feel very left out & sad. (Fortunately they've stopped actively teasing me for not being pregnant. That was fun. ) 
So I hear ya. Big hugs to you. 
Re: overstimulation, I think that's more common with injectable meds than clomid. And I've never heard of clomid causing sterility.  If you're worried about it, perhaps you could try a super low dose, say 25 or 50mg? I was charting & showed ovulation many (but not all) months but I also had lower progesterone, which my ob said could indicate weak ovulation. She said the clomid could help promote a stronger ovulation. Perhaps it could help for you too. I only got 1 mature follicle for each 50mg clomid cycle. I think just a little push will likely get you ku. 
I hope things get better for you soon but in the meantime, vent all you want. We're here for you. 

Fisher, my heart goes out to you, sweetie. You are such a loving, gracious person & will be a wonderful parent someday. I hope it's soon!
I read your pg announcement when I was in the hospital waiting room for my d&c. I remember thinking that if it's not me, I'm glad it's fisher. I was 
devastated to hear what happened & hope you are doing ok. Your stepping stone to commemorate Miracle  is just lovely & I hope the roses bring you joy & hope. 
I know you & Paul have been trying for a long time, but don't know if you've been tested and/or are interested in fertility treatment. If you want to talk about that stuff, we're here. So hoping you get a super sticky bean very soon. 

 

[tammy77]

Good Morning Ladies!

Bright, I'm SO glad that you have the green light this cycle. I can only imagine how frazzled your nerves are, but I have so much hope and faith that this is going to work for you. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other and know that we're all here for you.

I'm becoming more interested in the possibility of using clomid at low dose after reading everyone's experiences with it. I think I need to do the 7 DPO progesterone test possibly this month (seeing my GP at about 2 DPO so I think I will ask her about it). After this cycle, I will aggressively ask about an HSG if my progesterone comes back normal and AF shows up again.

If the prog is low, I'll head for clomid. If it's not low then I'll do the HSG and see what happens there, I think.

In other news, what gives with the wildly varying AF?! Last month it was AWFUL. Cramps from hell that persisted all four days of my period, really heavy flow for several days, it just sucked. This month I literally forget I'm even on it and my flow is super light. Is that good? Bad? Neither?

 

[BrightSpot]

Tammy, sounds like you have a great plan in place. I think either/both the hsg/clomid could be really helpful. Also, I had very little in the way of side effects with the clomid. You're seeing your doc next cycle, not this one, right?
Thanks for your positive vibes for me for this cycle. I'm feeling better & more hopeful today. Wish me luck tomorrow!
I have had weird variations with af too. For me, they often corresponded to charting differences too. (ie the barely there af's seemed to come after an anovulatory cycle/monophasic chart).  Have you noticed any differences in your charts?

 

[tammy77]

Tammy, sounds like you have a great plan in place. I think either/both the hsg/clomid could be really helpful. Also, I had very little in the way of side effects with the clomid. You're seeing your doc next cycle, not this one, right?
Thanks for your positive vibes for me for this cycle. I'm feeling better & more hopeful today. Wish me luck tomorrow!
I have had weird variations with af too. For me, they often corresponded to charting differences too. (ie the barely there af's seemed to come after an anovulatory cycle/monophasic chart).  Have you noticed any differences in your charts?

Hi Bright,

I'm seeing my GP on 4/16, which is CD16 for me. I usually ovulate anywhere from CD14-18, so that's where my 2 DPO figure came from. The only differences that I can think of w/my cycle is that last month I bled a LOT more than usual, so maybe it's my body's way of balancing out. If anything, this cycle was much more textbook. Temps were normal, O'd on CD14 and had a perfect 14 day LP. My LP has ranged from 12-13, never 14 since I came off of Yaz in October. I *think* that prior to BCP they were 14 days, I wish I could remember or had kept my info from back then but that was 10 yrs ago. I'm a dinosaur!

So who knows. Maybe this period is 'normal'. Maybe my body is taking it's sweet time to get back to normal even though I'm ovulating (O'd 22 days after my last BCP and have every month since), so I haven't had an anovulatory cycle yet.

Anyhow, TONS of luck and dust and prayers for tomorrow!

 

[BrightSpot]

Hey Tammy!

Thanks for the dust! My iui's are finished now (longer post in ttc 1.0) so now I wait (and shoot progesterone up my hoo ha. ) Yay!

How are you holding up? That's great that you o every month. Probably a bit of variation in af is no cause for concern, but you could always ask your doc at your appointment. 

Hi to prana, fisher & anyone else out there. 

 

[Prana]

Hi Tammy! Well, here we are... let's hope our stay here is really short. I don't have any advice regarding your differences in AF flow. Sometimes mine changes like that as well.

Bright, I'm glad to hear that you are back in the game. Let's hope that this time around is full of happy times.

Fisher, not sure if you are out there, but I want to tell you that I'm sorry for your heartbreaking loss, and I hope you can move forward with ease and a hopeful heart.

AFM, sorry for the short post. I'm on CD2 and I will take my first dose of 50mg Clomid starting tomorrow. I'm really hoping that I just need this little kick. We're hopeful.

 

[tammy77]

Hi Girls!

Bright, lots of bfp and stick baby stick dust to you!! Hopefully it goes by quickly.

Prana, I'm CD5, trucking along with you. I'm SO interested in seeing how this turns out for you, I hope that the 50mg clomid is enough to make that baby happen! Good luck!!

AFM: I'm trying to renew my excitement and enthusiasm in TTC. DH and I went on a little getaway that he planned on the spur of the moment and it was really nice to have time to reconnect as a couple. I'll write more later, just wanted to pop in and say hello.

 

[BrightSpot]

Prana, so glad to hear you're giving clomid a try. I'm so hopeful for you that this is the little jump start you need to get your bfp!

Tammy, so glad to hear you sounding more
positive.

Fisher, thinking of you.

Hoping this positive energy lasts & we're all in jbp (for good!) soon!

 

[Prana]

Thanks for the support and encouragement ladies!

I'll be taking my 3rd dose of 50mg Clomid tonight. I decided to take it at night so I could sleep through any side effects lol. So far I'm tolerating it pretty well. My skin looks amazing! Maybe I do have some whacky hormonal imbalance. We're just trying to be hopeful.

Bright, good luck to you.

Tammy, your cycles sound exactly like mine! I O on my own anywhere from CD 14-18, and sometimes my periods are really heavy beasts, sometimes they're more delicate and manageable.

 

[tammy77]

Hi Prana,

Indeed we are similar cycle wise! Well, if clomid works for you, maybe I'll give it a try in another month or two. I'm doing the same old waffling between carefree no temp cycle and "well, I might NEED to have my chart cycle in order for them to take me seriously or run tests". We need one of those emotes for slamming heads against the wall!

I did have an extremely vivid dream a couple of days ago about getting my very clear BFP. I've never had a dream about it before and while I know it's not a sign of anything, it was just nice.

Happy Easter everyone!

 

[BrightSpot]

Prana, glad you are tolerating the clomid well & aren't having a lot of side effects. I had night sweats my first clomid cycle but nothing to speak of this time. What's the next step for you? Are you doing a trigger shot? 

Tammy, glad you had a nice dream about getting your bfp. Hopefully it's a sign of good things to come. 

I've been feeling down again & think I'm nearing the end of my rope with this ttc process. Really hoping this time works. 

 

[tammy77]

Big hugs, Bright. I have had my breakdown over things too very recently after feeling like maybe everything would be great. I know you've been through far more than me, so I hope that you don't feel like I'm trying to say I'm RIGHT there with you. I just know the feeling even if it's not on the same level of intensity. I hope that makes sense.

My heart aches today, had a serious breakdown late last night with the kind of cry where you can't catch your breath. I feel like such a failure - sadness, anger, all of it. I'm just at my limit, but every time I feel that way, the stubborn red head in me says "NO! I will NOT give up for good." and then I take another step. My guess is that you're probably like that too.

I'm praying that you're next...Then Prana, then Fisher then me (only in that order because I think that's where we'd all fall CD wise). This cycle, please and thank you.

 

[LtlFirecracker]

Hey guys,

I have been on a little PS break. I guess it is time for me to join this form. Looks like we are giving stories? Quick run down. I am almost 33, DH 31, we have been trying without luck for 11 months. Started eval with RE doc a few months ago. Most of the workup was normal. My cycles are slightly irregular (most are fine, and than about every 3-4 months I have a longer cycle), and my right tube is "suspicious" but dye did go though it. DH is fine. The doc does not think my age is a factor at this point.

I am on CD4 and starting clomid tomorrow. I go back EARLY on CD11 (CD 10 is a Sunday and that is ideal but the office is closed). I get regular ultra sounds until they determine I need to do the HCG trigger shot. We are not doing an IUI as he states for us, since my DHs sounds are good, it will not help.

I live 3 hours from an RE doc, so I have to take time off work to do this. So if this cycle does not work, I am going to skip May, and than try again in June. I am thinking that if we do this for 3 cycles and it does not work, I am going to consider asking him about looking at the tube.

Wishing everyone on here luck, I know a lot of you were on TTC when I was posting regularly, and I really want to see all of you (and myself) graduate!

 

[CurlySue]

Hi, ladies. After some thought and an emotionally rough week, I've decided to hop over to this thread. I had recently started posting on the other TTC thread and posted my story there, but here it is again (hopefully in as condensed a form as possible).

I am 36, and my DH is 39. I went off BC around the time of our wedding, which was in October 2010. We didn't officially start trying until a few months after that. I temped/charted religiously and learned that, for the most part, I had normal cycles. After six months, nothing but BFNs. Other than the 21-day progesterone test, I declined any testing despite my doctor's urging. I just wasn't ready for it emotionally. Around October, I decided that if we weren't pregnant by the end of 2011, I'd get a full work-up. In late December, I got my BFP only to miscarry in late January. I had a D&C in early February.

AF returned about 6 weeks later, so DH and I are ready to try again. Unfortunately, I'm sitting here at CD27 and I still haven't O'd, despite the presence of EWCM off and on for the last week and high readings on my fertility monitor. I'm worried this cycle will be anovulatory. On top of that, I'm not sure whether this is due to the D&C or due to the excessive stress I've been under (from issues at work and with my mom) or if it's something else entirely. So while I started off this cycle feeling hopeful and optimistic, it has only taken me one week to start feeling down, frustrated, and scared again.

I made the mistake at hopping on FB on Easter Sunday, and seeing all my friends' photos of their pregnant bellies, babies and children hit me hard. One woman in particular got pregnant in late December. She finally went "public" with her pregnancy, and while I was trying to be happy for her, it just broke my heart, knowing that I would have been experiencing everything she's experiencing right now. So selfish, I know.

I guess I realized that I'm not as "okay" emotionally as I thought I was. I know that you all understand what these lows are like, and I feel like I can relate to each of you, even if our stories are a bit different.

Anyway... now that I got all THAT out of my system...

My doctor had told me to give it three cycles of trying before looking at fertility testing, and while that seems like FOREVER to wait, I think that might be best. I've got an insane amount of travel ahead of me for work over the next three months, so it might make sense to wait until I am back at home on a more regular basis. And perhaps my cycle will get back to normal during that time. At this point, who knows?

Tammy - I saw your post in the other thread. I don't blame you one bit for checking for signs of O. I would do the same thing, as I think once you know what to look for, it's hard to just stop altogether. And as you mentioned in a post above, you may get treatment faster if you have more information.

Bright - How are you holding up? Thinking of you and *really* hoping this is it for you.

Prana - I'm curious to hear how the Clomid is going for you.

Ltl - I was lurking on the TTC thread for awhile, and I was happy to see your posts resurface, as I was wondering how things were working out for you. It must feel good to now have a plan in place. Hopefully, this cycle will be it for you, and you won't have to worry about going back in June. If I recall from the BWW boards, I think we got married around the same time. I loved your wedding photos!

Fisher - If you are still out there, I am among the many thinking of you.

 

[Prana]

Hi ladies!

I hope everyone had a good Easter!

I'm sorry everyone is down in the dumps. It's such a bad feeling and it's unfair to say the least.

I finished my last Clomid dose yesterday (for CD 3-7). That's all I'm doing this cycle and probably the next 2 cycles, just 50mg Clomid CD3-7. No monitoring, no trigger shots. I have had absolutely no side effects, the only thing I felt was some mild cramping around my right ovary area on days 4-6. I'm hoping it was just my ovaries responding to the estrogen and making some nice big appropriate viable eggs. I feel oddly calm right now...almost like I just don't care. I will care once the end of my cycle comes and AF shows up, but right now I just don't care. It's very strange. I'm about CD 8 right now. I took the Clomid at night, so I'm not sure if I actually had any side effects like hot flashes or anything.

I've just been trying to keep myself busy. With the nicer weather, I've taken my bike off the trainer and am back to cycling outside. I figure each month that goes by without a BFP is just another month for me to keep on cycling/training to improve as much as possible. I would like to be able to cycle throughout my pregnancy, as well as continue my yoga practice, as long as they are safe. The more I do now, the safer it will be to continue throughout pregnancy.

So I'm just hanging out, I should be O'ing sometime next week.

My good friends baby shower is on Sunday

And then my DH and I are going on our honeymoon/2 year anniversary trip to Scotland! Right around O time....Everyone keeps telling me I'm going to get pregnant in Scotland. Gosh I hope they're all right!

I've been keeping all of you ladies in my TTC prayers. It's always nice to know that there is someone else out there thinking of you and your struggles, and praying for your dreams to come true.

 

[tammy77]

Good Afternoon Ladies!

Oh Curly, big BIG hugs! I'm so sorry that your struggling, but I'm glad you've come over to talk to us here. I hope that your body kicks into gear soon and O's. Are you going to look into some tests, or have you already? I think answers will at least help you feel better while you wait for your BFP.

Prana, are you going to Scotland next week? That's SO exciting! I certainly hope everyone is right and you come back with an extra special souvenir! I'm sure that the fresh air cycling is helping you to feel better and relieve stress too! I need to exercise more, I'm slacking this month.

I am trying to be positive. I know you all can relate to this, so I'm just going to say it again. The mood swings SUCK! One day I feel fine, the next day I feel like a hopeless mess, then a tiny little thing changes (in my case, getting my opks and preseed so I'm not just adrift this month). All of a sudden I have a renewed sense of hope and excitement about possibly getting lucky this month. Maybe it's because the preseed is something new that I haven't tried yet so I'm fooling myself into thinking we have more of a chance than previous months, I don't honestly know. The only thing I know for sure is that we're going to give it our best shot. I also know for sure that over the next two weeks my emotions are guaranteed to run the gamut as usual. All we can do is hang in there, knowing that "this too shall pass". It helps so much to know that we can lean on each other for support when times are rough. We'll get there ladies...

 

[BrightSpot]

Wow, so much activity in this thread! While I'm sorry that we've had to endure the struggles that have brought us here, I'm happy that we can talk openly to people who understand. 

Tammy, thank you for your sweet post when I was feeling so down. I'm sorry I took so long to respond. I needed to take a few days off to regain some sanity, or at least try to. (though your post did have me musing as to whether or not to dye my hair red!) I definitely have moments when I feel I'm at my breaking point with this process, but then I usually wind up saying, "Well, maybe just one more cycle," again & again.  
Wouldn't that be nice if we could clear out this entire thread ASAP!? Here's hoping everyone's stay here is short. 
I definitely agree about the mood swings. I'm trying to make a  conscious effort to be positive, but it's hard.  Big hugs to you. 
Oh, and my dh & I have been using preseed for a while & like it. Good luck! I hope this is it for you!

Ltl, I wrote to you in the other thread, but wanted to add that I understand how hard it can be to juggle work & fertility treatment appointments. I can't work on days that I have appointments (due more to the nature of my work than the proximity of my re's office) & it makes the first couple weeks of a cycle hard to manage. I hope this cycle works for you so you don't have to worry about a next one. 

Curly, I'm sorry you've been feeling so down lately. Hugs to you. I've heard that the first post m/c cycle can be really odd. Of course, added stress can delay o too. Have you talked to your doc about this?I hope things are better at work & with your mom soon. And also that your body kicks in gear with a nice strong o soon!
Also, I know what you mean about your friends pregnancy. I have a friend who got pg 2 weeks before I did in December. When I had lunch with her last week & noticed her cute belly, it was really hard not to think I should be right there with her. I'm definitely having a hard time letting go of what would've happened had my 1st pregnancy not ended in m/c. I actually just talked to my (new-thanks, ttc!) therapist about this & she thought it would be easier if I could let go of the trajectory of my life that would have happened if my first pregnancy was successful & focus more on plan b & the present. I'm trying to do that but it's hard. I also tend to stay  away from fb too. 
I hope you're feeling more positive soon. These mood swings are really crazy, aren't they? Big hugs & hoping you o soon & get a super sticky bean!

Prana, I'm glad you tolerated the clomid so well. I took it at bedtime too & didn't really have side effects this month. I hear ya about feeling blasé about the ttc thing. I definitely go through phases of just feeling over it all. But the closer it gets to the end of the 2ww, the harder it gets! I'm glad you're getting lots of exercise this month. That should help with your mood & make it easier to exercise throughout your pregnancy. Good luck at your friend's shower. That could be rough. 
Your trip Scotland sounds so exciting! Where are you going? Dh & I went to Edinburgh & isle of Skye last summer. So beautiful. 
Here's hoping for some nice juicy follies & a nice souvenir from your trip!

Fisher, thinking of you. 

Afm, I've been a bit emotional lately. Kind of down about the ttc process in general, stressed about the continuing hair loss & worried about the news I'll get next week. I'll be sad if it's a bfn, but I also worry that a bfp would bring stress too as I worry about a repeat of last time. I'm trying to be present as much as possible & not to jump to worst case scenarios, but it's tough. We have an appointment on the books with my Re for next Thursday to discuss options if this iui didn't work. Thursday will be 14dpo so I should know by then. 
I'm also dealing with a case of tennis elbow from my vacation in February. I've never had this before & am frustrated I'm still having pain in my elbow. I'm also frustrated that this is keeping me away from my favorite classes at the gym. These things really seem to pile up & can get a girl down after a while.
Anyway, if you have any dust to spare, please send it my way! Prayers & digit crossing also very much appreciated. 

 

[CurlySue]

Hello, ladies! Thanks for "listening" to me yesterday and for the encouragement and hugs. I needed them. Thankfully, today's a new day, and I'm feeling better.

Prana - Scotland??? How awesome! Very jealous! Fingers crossed that you bring back a wonderful gift from your travels. Glad to hear you didn't have any side effects from Clomid. My sister was on it a few years ago, and she had awful side effects and eventually moved on to Femara. Good luck at the baby shower this weekend.

Tammy - You definitely sound more positive. I'm glad you are feeling better!! Did you get your new bling yet? I really hope that the preseed is the little extra thing you need this month.

Bright - Oh, Bright! I am sorry you have been feeling down. I can only imagine how many emotions you must be feeling! And I agree that sometimes when all you see around you are obstacles, it can feel overwhelming. But things *will* turn around. I'm so hopeful that this is going to be your sticky bean. I've got everything crossed for you, and if I could hand deliver a big 'ole bucket full of dust, I'd do it! As for your tennis elbow - ugh. I played tennis all throughout high school and battled through it during my junior year season. Did tennis cause it? Or was it from something else? I had to completely change the follow through on my forehand to eventually get rid of it. The good news is that it stayed away after that! I hope you can find some relief.

AFM, things with my mom and at work are definitely improving, so that is positive. I'm starting to look forward, and I think I can see the light at the end of those tunnels, which helps reduce my stress levels. On the TTC front, my temp had a major dip this morning, and my cycles have typically had a pre-O temp dip, so... fingers crossed that it'll happen this weekend. My poor DH has been a champ throughout this. Between hosting his MIL, my highs and lows, and him being "on call" for me for the last 10 days as I wait to O, the poor guy must be exhausted. I'm heading to the UK for work next week, and I think he's actually happy to have a little vacation from me!!

Keeping you all in my thoughts!

 

[BrightSpot]

Curly, thanks so much for the hug! Back at ya! I really hope things are on an upswing for both of us! As for the tennis elbow, I think that's definitely what it is. (Though I haven't seen a doc yet--not sure what kind to see/if someone could help or not.) I don't play regularly, (hadn't played in years) but did play 3 times on vacation back in February, which is when the trouble started. It got a little better, but I made the mistake of going back to the gym & using free weights & it got much worse. So now I'm not doing that, but it still hurts, even when I sleep. I'm glad you were able to banish yours!

Your temp dip sounds really promising! Here's hoping you O this weekend & catch that egg (& that it's a super healthy, sticky bean!) I'm glad work & things with your mom are going better, but sorry it's been so stressful. Is your mom still staying with you?
Sometimes I feel badly for putting my DH through having to deal with me too!

I'm feeling a bit better & trying to distract myself as much as possible.

 

[Prana]

Wow this thread has some movement! I'm happy that we all have each other to talk to!

Tammy Sorry to hear about your breakdown. I've been there, girl. I hope you're feeling more positive now. And yes, it will happen for you, as it will happen one way or another for all of us.


Ltlfirecracker I'm glad to see you back, although not under these circumstances. We were posting together for a while in the TTC thread, and I was actually just thinking about you recently. I hope that the Clomid does the trick for us!

Curlysue So sorry about your TTC journey this far. I hope that you O soon. And Facebook is the devil. I swear, everyone but me is pregnant. Good luck with Clomid. I believe you, Ltlfirecracker and I are all on our first rounds of Clomid?

BrightI hope you O soon too!! I hope your cycles just whip right back into shape and that you don't have any more problems. Glad to hear that you and your Mom are working on a better relationship.
We are going to Edinburgh and the Isle of Skye too!!! Tell me about your trip! Any recomendations? We are so excited. We leave in about a week and a half. ONly for 5 nights, but we are so looking forward to it. I think theres a fair chance we won't come back home....

AFM, I can feel my body gearing up to O. Should be sometime around Tuesday or so. Hopefully the clomid does what it was supposed to do and hopefully it gets us KTFU. Right now I'm just dreading the baby shower on Sunday, thinking about the 2 days of work I have to get through on Tuesday and Wednesday next week, and then we'll be on vacation and on our fun and exciting vacation! It's nice to have something else to focus on (which was, in part, a big reason for this trip). Hopefully when we get back we can focus on something else besides our infertility. Like growing a baby for 9 months.

 

[tammy77]

Hi Girls!

It's Friday. We need a happy dance emote! This week has been UGH! I am having a good day. I was talking w/DH today about how I'm feeling this O week vs last month's and we both agreed that last month I was just kind of going through the motions. This month I'm more excited and hopeful though. I know it's silly, but I'm excited to try this month. I also caved and temped this morning, I want to just confirm O then I'll leave the thermometer alone. I promise! My plan is to temp hopefully from CD13-CD15 if my body cooperates to O on the 14th. Then I'll temp again at 12DPO. If my temp is up then, I'll test. By 12DPO I always have a temp downward trend, if not a full on nosedive.

So that's the plan. That said, I can very easily see myself temping through my TWW and start testing on 8DPO as usual. I REALLY hope not though, I need to stop the madness!

Prana, I'm so excited for your trip to Scotland next week, wow! I definitely hope you can focus on growing a baby after you get back.

Bright, how are you doing today? I'm glad you're feeling better for the moment and keeping distracted. I recommend a CS project, it worked wonders for me!

Ltl, I'm sorry that you're joining us because you're struggling to TTC, but very glad that you've come out to play with us (and cry on the bad days, but hopefully those are few and far between).

Curly, good luck O'ing this weekend! I'm right there with you. Wow, so many of our ladies are doing their first round of clomid this month, I can't wait to see how many of you get BFP's this cycle!

Fisher, I don't know if you check in here but if you do, know that I'm praying for you and hope you're doing okay.

Did I miss anyone? I don't think so! Our little group is much easier for me to manage, but I still feel like I'm missing things!

 

[BrightSpot]

Prana, hope you have a nice strong o & catch that egg!
As for Scotland, we had a blast. 
Dress warmly & bring good rain gear. In Edinburgh, make sure to tour the castle & Mary king's close. Also walking around town is fun & there's music everywhere. Also enjoy watching the hen & stag do's traipsing about the city. And try haggis if you're brave. 
In Skye, tour Eilean donan (on the way to Skye) & dunvegan (on skye) castles. The boat ride to see the seals at dunvegan was really fun & the gardens are lovely. There's also a hike you can do to see the old man (rock formation). And take lots of pictures of sheep & waterfalls!  There's a lovely coral beach you can walk to (a little over a mile walk from the parking spot).  I heard the whiskey tours were great though we didn't take one. We found the food to be much better in Edinburgh than Skye. 
Have fun! I hope you have a souvenir coming back with you!

Tammy, did you get your ring? I hope you love it!! I did just finish a little project but am making dh wait until our anniversary later this month to give it to me as I feel badly about spending the money. I'm so glad to hear you're feeling better & more positive about things. Hugs. 

Curly, are you officially 2ww-Ing? Have fun in the uk & hope you bring a souvenir back from across the pond too!

Ltl, where are you cycle wise? I hope you're well. 

Afm, cd11 today so the 2ww is drawing to a close, which makes me super nervous. I tested on cd9 to make sure the hcg from my trigger shot had left my system (it had).
I plan to test for real tomorrow morning since I got a (super faint) bfp last iui cycle at 12dpo. Please send dust!

 

[tammy77]

Hi Bright!

Scotland sounds WONDERFUL. I wish DH and I could travel to more fun locations for our vacation, but since we live away from both of our families, the most exotic place we get to see is Niagara Falls...because that's where he grew up! It's beautiful though and we do love to see our family. We're going in August, can't wait! I'm hoping to have a good reason for being thicker in the middle when we go, we'll see!

Bright, I'm throwing buckets of dust and prayers your way that TOMORROW you get two pretty little lines! You have some fortitude my dear, I'm sure I would be justifying POAS today, you know, "for practice" and expecting a BFN but not so secretly hoping for an early BFP.

Big hugs!

How are all of our lovely clomid ladies holding up? There should be a few of us in the TWW now!

 

[CurlySue]

Just a quick check-in...

Bright - Hang in there, lady! Sending all sort of positive vibes, dust, prayers, and thoughts your way.

Tammy - You're in the TWW now, right? Hope you can keep that positive and hopeful attitude up!

Prana - Safe travels!!

AFM, I am now 3DPO and officially in the TWW. I'm in the UK for the week, which should be a good distraction for me... and I will probably be able to blame any weird symptoms/signs on jetlag and not go into overanalysis mode.

(Oh, and Prana and Tammy, I think you got me mixed up with someone else - I'm not on Clomid right now. Thinking about it as a possibility if I don't get a BFP by July/August, but haven't even discussed with my doctor yet.)

Might not be posting as much this week, but I will definitely be reading when I can to try to keep up... and hopefully to read some good news, too!

 

[BrightSpot]

Tammy, yeah it was temping to poas today but my bfp last time was so super faint at 12dpo that I don't think I would've gotten a positive any sooner. Thanks so much for the thoughts & prayers!
As for vacations, my best friend has been working abroad in Europe so, while it sucks not to see him often, it is nice to be able to visit him in exotic locales. As for niagra falls, it could be exotic if the girls stayed with their grandparents & you & your dh rented one of those fancy rooms...

Curly, thanks, love! I hope you have a wonderful trip! Have fun & enjoy the distraction. I'll be thinking of you. 

 

[BrightSpot]

Hi guys. 
Well, it's 12dpo for me today & I tested this morning. It was a very faint positive on my wondfo test. (I don't have any frer's) I want to say it's ever so slightly darker than my 12dpo test last iui cycle but I don't know if that's really true or I'm just trying to make myself feel better. After some debate, I went in for a beta at my RE's office this morning but I missed the cutoff for same day results (by 10 min!) so I won't have the results until after 3pm tomorrow. 
I'm just a bundle of nerves today & am terrified what happened last time will happen again this time. (Did I mention I got several new bills for my d&c last night? One from the RE's office, one from the hospital & one from the anesthesiologist totaling over $2k? Ugh.)

So, please send all the dust, prayers & positive thoughts you can, but I think it's too soon for congratulations at this point. And, to the sweet ladies who have suffered a loss but gone on to get pregnant again, how did calm the worry? Or did you?