The Official TTC Thread!

[fisherofmengirly]

NOVEMBER!!!

OOooh, buddy!!! Yay!!

How exciting!! I saw the picture and didn''t even read what you said. Haha. Do you think you''ll be able to go to the Dr. to get a beta test? Oooh!!!

I''m so excited for you!!! (Were you on Clomid?)

 

[fisherofmengirly]

So, I went in for my blood work today, and I passed out. How embarrasing!! I didn''t know this (or maybe I wasn''t listening as well as I thought I was), but the Dr. ordered the CD3 testing and a "PCOS blood panel." Not sure what all it entails, but they took a total of 5 vials of blood, 4 of them were BIG and one was small.

I had to stay for about 45 minutes before they''d let me leave, and I had to eat crackers and an orange and drink two cups of water before I could leave, too. I still feel pretty weak, but my color came back a ilttle bit, so they let me go.

So now I wonder why they did the PCOS blood work? Makes me think maybe the Dr. does think there''s something wrong other than late ovulation.

At any rate, the results will be back next week and they''ll call me and also fax the results to me. So, I''ll share when I receive them. Peony, you can tell me what it means.

***
Last night Paul dreamed of twins. He''s really taking this multiples thing to heart!!

 

[NovemberBride]

Thank you for the well wishes. I am still waiting to hear back from the doctor. I woke DH up this morning to show him and he totally does not believe me (especially given this week''s test results). The line is really faint and DH has terrible eyesight. I made him put on his glasses and then he agreed that he could see the line. I will try to take a digi tomorrow morning and hopefully get him to believe.

 

[NovemberBride]

Fisher - do not feel bad about fainting. I literally fainted every time I got blood drawn until this year, when I convinced myself I wasn''t going to do it anymore.

 

[AmberWaves]

OMG, go away for a few weeks (into my head, not a cool vacation or anything) and look what happens!

Congrats, PEONY, SUNKIST, SWIMMER, NOVEMBER!! Also, congrats on the twins, MANDARINE! Holy moly, here comes a new PS baby boom!!

Fisher, I''m glad that you were able to go to the doctor, and hopefully will get some kind of "fix" that''ll make it easier. You''ve been working really hard on this TTC mumbo-jumbo, that if anyone deserves it, it''s you. Don''t feel bad about passing out, I do that when I get hurt. Was Paul with you today?

Welcome back, InLuv, I must say I adore that pic of your puppy as we have an exact copy of Woofie looking just like that!

So here I am, 10dpo, CD27. I''m a little "hmmmmmm" right now. Because of all the weird-ass cycles I''ve had over the last year, I''m not sure when AF should be a callin''. My minimum was 27 days (which is today) and my maximum was that 39 day cycle last month, which was because I o''d on the 26th- ten days later than usual. FF said my average is 29 days.

The thing is, my tummy/pubic area (wow, that''s gross to type) has felt weird the last couple of days. Kind of churny and heavy. Slightly crampy but not much, not at all like period pains, and there are random pains on my right side (the side I o''d this month). I truly don''t know. I took a cheapie online pg test this morning with FMU, and it was negative, but I bought a box of four FRER (it came with a free digital!) yesterday. I just don''t know. I don''t want to get my hopes up,

Chart:

 

[lovelylulu]

nice chart amber

but I can completely relate to trying to keep your hopes in check

DPO 9 would have been awfully early to get a positive . . .

 

[AmberWaves]

Lulu, I know, right? I just couldn''t resist! I looked at the stick, and was like, dumbass, what are you thinking?

How are you?

 

[E B]

Amber, that chart is looking gooood! I think 12 DPO is a good time to test if you''re going to test early- by that time, you should get a positive, but you still aren''t necessarily out if you don''t.

 

[AmberWaves]

Ebree, thanks! I was looking through the gallery and just thinking that it doesn''t look like my previous negatives, but I didn''t want to convince myself. I guess I''ll test on Sunday then, if AF hasn''t reared her beastly, red, head.

 

[lovelylulu]

Since you asked, I can tell you that I think that I''ve officially lost my mind. With the exception of December (and that''s because I inexplicably became wrapped up in the possiblity of a Christmas miracle), I haven''t been too optimisic about these past few cycles. I''ve come to expect disappointment. And while each disappointment is not easy, I think it''s somehow easier to accept when you aren''t hopeful.

But this cycle, I''m completely unable to manage my expectations. They are floating higher and higher. I think that I could almost describe myself as giddy with excitement and anticipation. And giddy is not a place I think I want to be when it all comes crashing back down to reality.

I think that it started with cornbread. We were baking some cornbread and I cracked an egg with two yolks. The next day, my husband made a comment that he thought that little egg with its two yolks was a harbinger. I know, I know - you''re obviously thinking it and perhaps we are grasping at straws. A two-yolk egg? really. There are some other reasons too, like the mysterious sore boob, but still nothing too justify this newfound mindloss.

Now it''s DPO 8 and there''s still no sign of any spotting. I keep popping into the bathroom about every half hour to check . Nothing.

I need a distraction . . . like maybe being able to sleep until DPO 14

 

[AmberWaves]

Oh Lulu, I totally understand. It''s been 11 cycles for me (this is the 12th, I think, happy crapiversary to my ute) that have all be utterly heartbreaking, enough that you just want to stop altogether; stop temping, charting, peeing on things, because it all adds up eventually to a negative and a red stain that is never able to come out. (gross, sorry) You make yourself wear pantyliners for weeks because AF will show up JUST when you start letting yourself get excited, you make yourself sick thinking that perhaps this pain here is something real? Not just psychosomatic?

Then you get the chart that looks good. You think that perhaps it''s okay to be hopeful. Still, you feel uneasy, telling your PS friends and other friends invested in TTC that maaaybe this is it. Okay, as of right now, should it not be "it" for me this cycle, I''ll feel like I''m letting down PS, my friends and DH who was trying SO hard not to get excited. Then the temp went up. And I''m scared because I SO want this to be it- it''s been a DAMN YEAR already, I should have had a baby by now. I''m just worried. Blah.

NOW: for you and your good luck feelings. I am SO a believer in "signs". When we looked at our new place, saw it had everything we wanted but didn''t know we wanted, along with the number of our then apartment, I felt it was a sign. When I saw the decoration on the front gate- oak leaves and acorns (symbols used liberally in our wedding) I knew- this is our place. We''ll get it. And... we did. Double yolk? Come on, that''s so not normal. I agree with you, Lulu!! I would never think something is all in your head. Although our heads can sometimes mislead us, it''s our hearts that whisper something is right. And jeez, if you can''t share these things with people like ME, who think everything everywhere is a "sign" for something, than who can you?

I''m with you girl! (I''m holding your hand very uncreepy-like online)

 

[lovelylulu]

amber, if i could give you a hug, i so would.

thanks for *getting* my insanity.

 

[AmberWaves]

Lulu, anytime, buddy, anytime. I''ll be drooling and muttering incoherently in the corner waiting to test.

 

[blushingbride]

Lovely and Amber (Hi Amber!!!!

) I thought I''d chime in since I feel like we''re the "old-timers" (cycle 9 over here) *sigh*

I want to hold your hands too, actually, I probably need someone to be holding mine. I

''m just not hopefully this cycle - I just have that feeling. We timed everything right, used Preseed, didn''t move after BDing until the next morning - basically did EVERYTHING right.

But, can you believe that I feel this way because I''m 4 DPO and "don''t feel pregnant?" I started crying this morning for no reason other than I don''t feel pregnant and for the fact that I''m so sick of TTC. I can not believe we''ve been "going at it" (no pun intended

) for 9 months. My DH said last cycle that he thought for sure I''d be pregnant by now. It''s so depressing sometimes and it''s really just taken a toll on both of us.

Really, I just want to hurry up and get to the end of this cycle so I can find out either way and then move on to our next step - whether it''s clomid or a HSG, just SOMETHING has to happen at this point.

I''m so happy for everyone that''s gotten pregnant and left this thread - I just wish I was in that group too.

Amber and Lovely - I am ROOTING for both of you and hope that your prayers will be answered and that the end result will be a BFP!!!

 

[AmberWaves]

Oh Blushing, I'll hold your hand, too! I could also pass over a bit of girl scout cookies i was hoarding for an instant such as this. (okay, not really, I've already eaten my way through two tubes of thin mints, a tube of the lemon cream things, and half a tray of samoas) It definitely takes its toll, when you are going through life counting down the days until the next part. It's not just part of life anymore- it IS my life. Poor Paul was telling me last night that he just wants to be done with "making" a baby, and wants to be able to "raise" a baby. Recently I blogged about that leakage thing that happened to me a few days ago, and was bemoaning the things i do to get pregnant. Well, an acquaintance of mine just got her BFP after trying for three months, and the first month ending in a chemical. Well, she commented on my blog (which had been more than 6 days old when she commented)post "Wow. Legs in the air? On your PILLOW? That's dedication! I just crossed mine, and it did the trick! " Well, hurrah for you!! I swear, what was she expecting again?

TTC SUCKS. All the sex? SUCKS. Makes me hate it sometimes. It's a part-time job now. I've renewed my FF a few times now. Why is this taking so long?? Still, we'll be HAPPY, ladies. It WILL work out.

ETA: We're like the Golden Girls of TTC forum. I want to be ROSE!

 

[tiffanytwisted]

Hey Amber, Blushing and Lulu- I could''t let all the old timers post without adding a little of my own woes. Pass over the girl scout cookies, although my hubby bought quite a few boxes, he''s just hiding them in the car from me! (he keeps conveniently forgetting to bring them inside) Cycle 22 here. Yep, I hate that fertility friend advertises that on my chart stats. It''s like a big kick in the gut. Granted I''ve gotten pregnant twice in those 22 cycles but have nothing to show for it, other than some surgical scars and one less fallopian tube. I''m to the point that I think my friends/family think I''m the crazy infertile lady, and everyone tiptoes around the subject.
I hear you on the disappointment each cycle. I don''t even get that hopeful each month but the disappointment gets worse each time. And the clomid mood swings haven''t helped all of that lately either.
I just really thought we''d have a baby by now. And maybe even be working on the 2nd one.
I''m keeping my fingers crossed for everyone here, maybe the recent streak of BFP''s will be contagious.

I really didn''t intend for this post to turn into a pity party. Sorry!

 

[tiffanytwisted]

Amber, if your Rose, I guess I''m the old old lady. What was her name??

 

[AmberWaves]

Oh no! Tiffany, you don't have to be Sophia (although technically she was the youngest IRL)! I think it's the four of us who have been here so long (sorry about the 22 cycles, TT, that's horrible) that kind of show that it's not really that easy- we're just your average ladies who got the shaft pregnancy-wise. When I posted about yet another cycle gone by, the girl who commented about how "crossing my legs did the trick!" commented, "WOW, that is my worst nightmare." Ah, how pleasant she is.

 

[blushingbride]

Amber - you always make me laugh out loud. You remind me of one my best friend''s from high - you both have similiar personalities. She can always come up with a good one-liner and so can you my dear.

If we''re passing around girl scout cookies - I''d like a box of the Tagalongs (aka. Peanut Butter Patties

)!! They are my absolute FAVE!

Hmmm, not sure if I want to be Dorothy (she was my least favorite). I prefer Blanche, but I''ll wait to see what Lovely prefers. Too funny!

TT - ugh...I can feel your aggrevation when I read your post. Obviously, I can complete relate to what you''re going through and I must say it is reasuring to know that none of us are alone in this. I know it will happen for all of us too, it''s just a matter of time, but I can''t help but become frustrated every so often. I think about TTC, the possibility of being pregnant, the possibility of not being pregnant, whether or not I feel something, etc., everyday and more so at work when I become easily distracted by PS

, fertility friend or the 50 gazillion other websites that are out there.

I truly hope the string of BFP''s continues for us too!!!!!

 

[lovelylulu]

I was just pulled away on a conference call (must try to squeeze in productivity between bathroom breaks) and your talk is both funny and heartbreaking!

First, I

thin mints and tagalongs. so tasty.
Second, I''ll be Dorothy, but I won''t like it

Blushing, you''d be a great Blanche as I noticed you have a sublime taste in footwear (engagement pictures or something) and I feel like she had the most style . . .

And while I have lost my mind, I''m going to chime in a little optimism. I''m feeling very lucky that while this *journey* has taken a pretty significant emotional toll on both me and my DH, it hasn''t taken a toll on *us* and hope that it never gets to that place. I''m also coming to peace with the fact that there are many ways to have a family (I think I mentioned before that we''ve begun to research adoption). I really believe that I will be a mom and that you all will be moms (stellar ones in fact) because you want to be. it may be biologically, it may be through adoption. but you will be a mom.

virtual hugs and handholding all around!!

 

[peonygirl]

OMG, congrats November! That is one huge surprise!!!!!!!!!!!!! I really did think you were out this cycle.

Now do me a huge favor and talk to your dr. as soon as possible because it seems like you might be a good candidate for progesterone supplementation (they are these vaginal suppositories, a little icky but effective). As EBree said, this definitely can't hurt anything and it may help. This is one time when it's okay to bug the heck out the office.

 

[littlelysser]

Congrats to all the newly minted pregos Peony, November, Swimmer, Sunkist! Very exciting stuffs. Much sticky dust to all of you!

And yay for the good ute Fisher

I'm still plugging along (will be 15 weeks tomorrow) - but I just wanted to post when I saw the vets posting! I'm thinking nothing but the best for you guys and you remain in my thoughts. You are such an amazing group of women and will all be AMAZING mothers.

 

[peonygirl]

Awww, I just finished reading the posts and wanted to give each and every one of you a hug. This TTC thing is incredibly isolating and trying, isn''t it?

It doesn''t seem fair at all. Here''s hoping each of you get pregnant with a wee one very soon!


Fisher, I will gladly interpret your results, hehe! I used to get faint for YEARS when I had bloodtests, but I feel like I''ve had so many lately while TTC that it doesn''t phase me anymore. I hear that pregnancy involves a lot of blood tests too!

 

[sunkist]

November congrats!!!!!!

What was wrong with your progesterone? Peony has a great suggestion to get extra from your doctor. I''m praying that your little bean is sticky, cause as of today it''s totally there! You''re preggo!!


Amber, your chart is looking great. I''d test again tomorrow or Sunday with the FRER. For some people positives don''t show up till even after 14DPO, but if tomorrow you''re past your usual luteal phase, hopefully that means good news.

Lulu, your mention about the double yoked egg made me remember that a week or two ago, my DH also cracked open a double yoke egg! I hope you can find something to distract your mind! Maybe some gardening?

Hey Fisher, how''s your garden coming? I had decided not to start a vege garden this year because we were thinking about moving. But maybe I''ll at least plant a potted garden in case we do have to up and take it with us! What did you plant, by the way?
Sorry you fainted, dear Fisher, but no need to be embarassed. After all, they took your blood out! I hope you''re feeling ok?

 

[fisherofmengirly]

Blushing and Tiffany and Amber and LuLu,

You''ve now officially made me nutty for Girl Scout Cookies. If there are any little troop girls out and about today, they''ll be very happy that now Tagalongs on in my head!!

Please know that you''re in my prayers and that I believe that we''ll all have good news. I wish I knew *when,* but that would just make it too easy, huh?

I can''t wait for the day that each of us can break out of this thread and into the next. It will be a day to seriously celebrate!!! We''re going to be awesome mothers and we''ll love every moment, maybe even a little more than we would have if there hadn''t been a struggle in getting there. My dad always told me while I was growing up that you enjoy more and take better care of what you work to earn. (This was in terms of him not just giving me things, but making me save allowance to be able to get something.) It was true then, and if only a little true in this situation, it will just mean a little more patience in dealing with the vomit, the poopy diapers, the temper tantrums, because well, it''s what we''ve been dreaming of and praying for over such a long time period. Haha. I''ll still be complaining about the diaper blowouts, I''m sure!!

*****
November,

I''ve been hoping you were able to get in touch with your Dr. yesterday!! Did you get any news? How are you doing? Thinking of you and feeling very excited for you, girlie!!!

*****
To all clomid takers,

I was reading this article that said if you take Clomid, you''re less likely to be approved for insurance later on in life. I thought it was appauling so I called my Dr. office and asked about that. Apparently, it''s more about the diagnosis you have, rather than the medication you''re prescribed. So talk to your Drs. about not being labeled as "infertile," as that can be something insurance can be tricky about.

*****
Another question about Clomid:

Did anyone notice that taking it caused your temp to rise by a huge amount?

Thanks for the insight!!

******
AMBER!!!

Girl, I''m thinking all kinds of the best thoughts for you, sweetie!!

I''d be excited with a chart like that, too!!!!!

 

[Sha]

Hi Fisher,
Yes, your temps will be higher while you''re taking the Clomid pills. Mine tend to go back down to normal range shortly after the last pill. It can also cause your temps to be higher in the LP - something about the increased progesterone caused by the stronger O...or something like that. Be aware that it can also lengthen your LP by a couple days.

 

[NovemberBride]

Well, I took another FRER this morning and the line was much darker. DH could see this one and is finally starting to believe that it''s true. I think I will take a digi tomorrow morning. I did speak to my doctor yesterday and have an appt Monday morning. She will check my hcg and progesterone levels then. She did not think I should start taking progesterone supplements just yet, since I don''t have any history of low progesterone (not that I have a history of regular progesterone levels, it just hasn''t been checked) and low progesterone can also be a sign of an unhealthy pregnancy. If everything else checks out and my progesterone is still low, we will talk about the supplements then. I really like this doctor and I trust her, so we are just doing our best to be cautiously optimistic until I see her on Monday. I really hope this is it, but if it does not turn out as we hope, then at least I know that Clomid worked for me and hopefully we''ll be able to identify any other issues.

I know everyone likes to see charts around here, so here''s my chart. Fisher, I had a few higher temps while actually taking the Clomid, but not every day.

 

[E B]

Congratulations, November!

That''s great news!

 

[NovemberBride]

Amber,

Your chart looks good and my fingers are crossed for you. I took the test at 12 DPO and it was so super light, I am sure it would have been negative at 9 DPO.

Blushing, Lulu and Tiffany, my thoughts are with all of you. TTC is certainly a roller coaster of emotion, and all of you handle it with a lot of grace. I know that your time will come, and I hope that it is soon.

 

[peonygirl]

November, I''m glad you talked to your dr! Hopefully your progesterone has done up substantially since your original test, and maybe your original one was artifically deflated (I''ve heard that the results can vary depending on time of day and whether you''ve eaten). I think it''s really promising that your test got darker today!