The Official TTC Thread!

[cara]

Date: 6/17/2009 9:18:17 PM
Author: icekid
Laila- Just wanted to agree with swimmer here. I would not be too hard on your physician for not giving into your demands for a million dollar workup at this junction. There is a pretty good chance that your insurance would not even pay for it. And to be honest- it is wasteful to order unnecessary tests.

That said, if she did not make you feel comfortable, it is certainly time to find a new doc!

I'll give the doctor a pass on not ordering fertility testing after 3 mo, *if* this decision was accompanied by sympathetic, useful, and accurate statements about getting pregnant and Laila's particular situation. It is simply false that it takes "everyone" seven months to get pregnant. It is also not useful/bordering on insulting and sexist to suggest that she'll just get pregnant if she just stops stressing about getting pregnant. Blowing off temping as a method of detecting ovulation suggests she's not that educated about it.

But Laila, my tough love is that you and your hubby are not yet a candidate for fertility testing. Three months is perfectly normal for trying and not getting pregnant so it's hard to *know* its because of an underlying problem yet. Sorry. Find a better dr and go back armed with your charts after 6 mo of trying. Or take swimmer's advice to go in and ask about your irregular spotting. They *will* see older women after 6 mo of trying (because not wasting time is more important for them NOT because they should be pregnant in 6 month where a younger couple should take a year) but even if they woln't perform diagnostic tests then on your young self you will get feedback from the doctor and figure out if they are treating you right and giving you medically accurate, nondismissive information. Here's hoping its not necessary though.

 

[peonygirl]

I actually think that 3 months of charting with well-timed intercourse (or 6 months of frequent, unprotected intercourse) with the presence of consistent menstrual irregularties is enough for basic hormonal testing. That was when I first noticed my cycle issues, and I was found to have elevated LH (and later ovarian cysts). It's still too early for a semen analysis and HSG though; if you want the piece of mind and don't mind paying out of pocket the former is $300 and the latter is $1500. We did a home semen test for $100 (Fertell), which was reassuring.

 

[Laila619]

Hi peony--the reason I really want to get an HSG is because I had an ex-boyfriend who gave me chlamydia (lovely). It went untreated for 6 months before I/my doc discovered it. So I'm really, really worried about my tubes being ok.

The semenalaysis is because my DH had mono a year ago. I would think sperm count could possibly be affected. Who knows?

Normally I would agree that it's way too early for those tests, but based on my unique circumstances, I thought it couldn't hurt to ask. Oh well. TTC is very taxing.

Lots 'o baby dust to everyone!!

 

[peonygirl]

Laila, I understand your frustration! It might help to check with your insurance to see exactly what they cover. I found out that even if my hormonal tests came back so wacky there was 100% sure there NO way that I could conceive without major intervention, I still couldn't get a referral to an RE before one year trying or three miscarriages, for example. If you try a new dr and he/she agrees that it's warranted, you might still have to pay out of pocket. Additionally, only a smallish percentage of women with a history of chlamydia have tubal issues/infertility, so hopefully that's not you!!

 

[fisherofmengirly]

So, we had our appt. this morning. Can I just tell you all that I really am so glad that we have the Dr. we have? It's a blessing!! The whole staff are amazing. Everyone is nice, sensitive, pleasant, and they listen. I mean really listen.

I was super nervous this visit (even more than the first appt., which is funny to me), worried that the Dr. would be like, "dude, you'll never conceive." But instead, he looked at my charts, said they were "really great," "perfect," and "ideal." I was so smiling like this the whole time he was saying this stuff:

Then Paul got all puffed up and was talking about how diligent I am in taking my temp at the same time every morning, and that I still wake up at his wake up time every morning to temp, even though he's off work for the summer. Things I'm sure the Dr. really didn't care about, but he listened anyway, and backed Paul up in saying that I've been very good about taking my temps. Haha. It was funny.

So, I don't have to worry about being pressured to increase the dose of Clomid. He says I ovulate just great on the 50mg and there is no reason to increase it and Drs. who do that when a woman is already ovulating well on the lower dose are often times making the pregnancy process more difficult because anything more than what you really need adds stress to the body. Interesting.

He said that everything's looking "really good" (I've decided this is a favorite phrase of his) and that we really have no reason at this point to worry that we won't be parents. He said that the past three cycles on Clomid have consistently shown a "strong" ovulation at the right time in the cycle, and that he's comfortable with our decision to take a break from the Clomid this cycle. I asked him about what you'd said Swimmer about there being "residue" of the Clomid that can make a person still ovulate on a regular time frame on a cycle med-free and he said that's absolutely the case for some women. He said that he would actually encourage a cycle off just to let my body ovulate on its own, and that in doing that, he'd be okay with my taking Clomid an additional three cycles, rather than just the two he originally prescribed. He said that after taking a break, it's sort of like starting over. My body has none of the "negative" side effects present that sometimes come with taking Clomid, so he feels that it's an excellent regimen for me to be on.

He said now that I've done the OPK (last cycle) successfully, he's also fine with no longer temping, if I want to do that. He said that sometimes temping every day is just a daily reminder of the stress of trying to conceive, and a lot of time, once a woman stops temping, the stress levels reduce a great deal and then pregnancy happens. He said he doesn't have any medically scientific evidence to back it up, but rather a lot of ancedotal information from patients who basically threw up their hands with the whole deal and ended up pregnant the following cycle.

Paul was there with me and he is really comfortable with the Dr, too. He did encourage him to do the SA and Paul had a lot of questions and then said he would do it. So YAY!!! He will be doing that in the first part of July.

He said that they could do the HSG, but at this point, he has no reason to think there is any issues with my tubes, since I have in effect only been ovulating at an optimal time three times now. He said that if after a few more cycles we're not pregnant, he'll have one of them ordered. He said he didn't want to interfere with our time schedule, but we really don't have one (other than I want a healthy baby, and yesterday would have been a nice day to have birthed her/him!!) and are totally fine with taking things as they come. Also, I think just hearing that my ultrasound looks great and that my charts are showing a lot of progress that is "really great" makes it easier for me to calm down, too.

My next appt. is for October, with high hopes and expectations that by that time, I will have already been in to see the first pictures of our baby!!

When we left, Paul just kept saying how glad he was that this facility will be where we go for all of the visits to check on the baby. He said that he couldn't have prayed for a better Dr, just in knowing that this person cares and listens and is respectful and doesn't talk "at" you, but rather with you. I think Paul is a lot less stressed out about the baby making process now, and hopefully I will follow....

So, really all in all, no news, but good news at the same time. Oh!! And if I were to conceive this cycle, the Dr. assured me that having my oral surgery would in no way harm my egg baby. And yes, I did say "egg baby" and he did know exactly what I was talking about. Haha. He laughed, but still was reassuring that this will not effect my egg making this cycle or the quality of my egg.

This is a very happy Fisher at the moment. I never thought I wouldn't be a mommy, but now I feel a little more confident that I will be, for sure, for sure. Funny how that happens, because he can't guarentee a thing, but still, the way a person interacts with a couple can go a long way. I wish each person going through TTC had the same experiences with their medical staff. Anyone who is not happy with their Dr. really needs to seek out another facility. It's not worth the agony of having to go through this with staff who are mean or uncaring when there are compassionate offices out there. I can't imagine going through this with some mean Dr. not listening to me and telling me to just "deal" with whatever's going on.

ETA: Sorry about the book that is this post. I had no idea it was so long until I looked at it posted! Good grief!!!

 

[peonygirl]

Fisher, that is so wonderful!! That whole plan sounds perfect and just what you needed. I agree that it doesn''t make sense to go up on the Clomid at all. I am very, very hopeful for you guys!!!

 

[blushingbride]

Fisher - I swear, having a good doctor can make all the difference right??? I'm so glad to hear that you and Paul are feeling so positive. I also would agree with him on the temping issue. I temped for about 7 months and then stopped because A. I was sick of it and B. it was a daily reminder of TTC as opposed to just being reminded about it during "that time of the month." I also stopped because after doing it for so long, I KNEW I was ovulating so, what was the point anymore. Not to mention the fact that I tended to over-analysize every rise and fall that came with it everyday.

It's funny because now that I'm pregnant, I have no idea what my temps were during my last 2ww or what my cervix felt like because I didn't monitor either of those and to be honest, I'm glad I didn't. I was relaxed and carefree about the whole thing. A small ounce of me was curious about how my cervix felt after finding out, but I restrained from checking because I didn't want risk any infection. Had I checked my temps and cervix during the 2ww, I would have probably driven myself batty over all the signs and thinking, "what if I'm pregnant?" or "what if I'm not pregnant?" with every little thing.

Anyway, you'll make the right decision for you, but I really think that putting that thermometer away would be a good thing for you.

 

[Mandarine]

Fishy
That is wonderful!!! The Drs do make a HUGE difference and I am so happy yours made you both feel comfortable!

.

I do think a break from temping is a really good idea. It just seems (to me) like a constant reminder of where you are in the cycle...which I think makes it a little more stressful. Regardless of what you decide to do, your positive attitude about this whole process is wonderful and you guys will be parents before you know it

 

[Dreamer_D]

Fisher your post made my day! I''m so happy for you! I completely see why you feel more positive now. I feel very confident that you will be preggo within the next 3-4 months

 

[Sha]

That''s wonderful news, Fisher!

 

[Festy]

Fisher, that is wonderful news! I also say YES to putting the thermometer away. You don''t need that stinkin thing no more. Your doctor sounds like a real mensch. Our RE is too and it makes all the difference in the world.

 

[cara]

Fisher, that''s totally awesome. So good that you have a nice and reasonable doc, that must really help. Your positive attitude is so inspiring! Oh, and I had the gum graft surgery in March and it wasn''t that bad. Just a little longer than I expected on limited diet, so be prepared with the soups and soft foods menu. I was able to chew a little on the non-operated side, if the food was not too tough and cut up into little tiny bits. Take a big bite and you''ll definitely regret it!

Pain was covered fine with ibuprofin and tylenol, though it would promptly start hurting when the drugs were up. I think I let myself have sweet potato fries for lunch everyday for a week as reward for my mouth pain, and this certainly negated any waistline benefit to my limited diet.

Laila, I totally agree with Peony that three month of fruitless well-timed trying is enough to be suspicious and possibly warrant some hormonal tests given the irregularity, but if you''re in the HMO/managed care box, its going to be hard to get the more involved fertility diagnostic tests covered that early. Even if you have more liberal insurance, three months is still in the normal range (see Fisher''s doc''s comments above) and a doctor might not want to deviate too much from the standard timelines. But it must be really frustrating, especially having possible reasons for concern! At least you know this doctor is a tool and can look for a better one for any further care you need. Hopefully the OB kind.

 

[whitetulips]

Fisher- that is great news!

 

[applequeen]

Fisher... That''s great news!...so glad to hear you had a good visit to the doctor.

 

[lovelylulu]

hurray for freedom from the thermometer! Great news fisher!!! Glad that you have such a great doctor.

*******************

It''s been a little while since last I posted.


Life has been rolling along. We''ve had a pair of weekends spent at home, which with all the summertime travel was much appreciated. We were able to get in a mini-road trip (windows down of course), lots of ice cream (specifically, root beer floats), dinner with friends, dinner alone, crafting projects for an upcoming baby shower, homemade pizza, a couple of baseball games and the list goes on.


This past weekend, we traveled up to my mother-in-law''s for a visit. Unfortunately, due to some pesky allergies, I sneezed through the majority of it.


We''ve also had some more time to process the information from our last doctor''s visit. I went to my local pharmacy and picked up the prescription for clomid. At that time, being on the fence about whether it was for me, I didn''t know whether I was going to take it or not. However, with nothing to show from our previous efforts and feeling like the options are limited, I popped the little pills diligently for 5 days.


Now, I''m waiting.


and worrying (did I make the wrong choice? is this delaying ovulation? should we have just gone au natural one more month?) Prior to this process, I was never really a worrier. Perhaps, this new injection of second-guessing and concern is just a realistic introduction to motherhood . . .

 

[nycbkgirl]

Fisher ur my idol! ur attitude just makes my day everytime! sooo happy about the doc...good vibes this cycle!

 

[Burk]

Fisher~I love reading your posts!! So glad your appt went well. My OB told me at my appt. that he has found temping tends to cause daily stress, too, and that I should quit. I think that''s a great idea!! I think you''ll be joining the preggo thread very soon.

Hi to everyone else! Hope your TTC journeys all lead to pregnancy and babies soon!!

 

[fisherofmengirly]

Peony, Thanks for the sweet comment! I''m pretty sure that when October gets here, ALL of us here on this thread will be fully knocked!!

Can''t wait! Have those babies started moving where you can feel them yet?

***
Blushing! Hey, you! How are you feeling these days?

A good Dr. is a world of good, yes indeed! I''m still on a high from that visit yesterday and I think it may have been just what we needed to put some of the stress behind us, and that in itself is a lot of the battle, I''m sure. Did you get referred to an OB yet? Hope you''re doing well and loving every moment of the ride, lady!!

***
Mandarine, Thanks for always coming back to check on us here. You''re too sweet. I''m thinking of giving up the therm, but I don''t know yet. I''d already given it up until about the 12/13th because I know I don''t ovulate before then. I think for this non-medicated cycle, I''ll probably dabble and play around with it, since who knows when I''ll ovulate, but I love the days when I don''t have to worry over it. It''s like FREEDOM!! Love the pattern you picked for the babies cribs. You''ll have to tell us if you like it once they arrive!

***
Dreamer, Yay for making your day! You make our day here at TTC when you share your information and knowledge, so I''m glad that my nutso post of three years long could offer something back to you. I feel *so* good right now. It''s so incredibly funny how much of an impact a Dr. can make. I truly wish everyone in the professional world (be it medical, healthcare, psych, social work, law, everything!!) would think about how much of an impact their words and their attitude make. I was TERRIFIED yesterday that it would be all "ho-hum" and depressing. Not at all! My Dr. rocks!!!

(Yay for Hunter sleeping better, in general!!)

***
Sha!!

I''ve been looking for you on the other thread. How are things? You need to update, because I think and wonder about my friends!!

Wishing you all kinds of wonderful experiences in pregnancy, girl!

***
Festy, Another who''s been away for TOO long. How are you??? Miss you around here... Come Back!!!!

***
Cara, Is it funny that I always think of you as a knight?

Thank you for the comments, too. I''m looking forward to reading your journey on the other thread! Tell us, how long were you trying? We all love stories like that around here...

***
Tulips, How''s life with the new puppy these days?

***
Applequeen, Thanks! I''m pretty excited about it still (if you couldn''t tell). Haha.

***
Lulu, Been looking for an update from you. Yeah, I felt all those same things when I started on it. It''s crazy how taking 5 pills can do so much and make you think so much about what it''s doing, isn''t it? I''m totally thinking about you and hoping that those little bitty pills will be GREAT news for you. This cycle!! Don''t stay gone forever... I miss my friends around here!!

***
Haha. I get to be an idol now, thanks NYC. I don''t post much in the mommy thread anymore, but I adore, adore, adore the pictures and updates on your kiddos. So precious!!

***
Burk, I''m loving Tayva''s new picture! When did her hair get SO long and full? Wow!!!

Totally late for work... Oops!!

Have a wonderful weekend, ladies!!

 

[mela lu]

Fisher - That is "really great"! haha. No really, super duper news. I''m so happy to see you in such a good place with all this TTC''ness.
Fingers crossed that the next few months are VerrrrrrrrrrY exciting ones

Burk - I''m late to the news, but CONGRATS on your BFP! Tayva is such a cutie pie and is going to be such a great big sister. Healthy Happy 9 months to you!

 

[blushingbride]

Fisher - isn''t that high you''re on the best!!!??? It can carry you so far, it really can. I know your BFP is going to come very soon - I can feel it!!! Stay postive!!!!

Lovely - sounds like you''ve been enjoying your summer and relaxing with friends and family.

I was in your shoes too this past cycle when I went to my RE and she handed me that perscription of clomid. My OBGYN had been trying to get me to take it at least two months prior, but I wanted to do the HSG first. However, when I started seeing my new RE, I felt so comfortable with her and trusted her so, I decided that if I wasn''t pregnant this past cycle, I was going to take them (with no hesitation). It''s a tough decision to make, but I think you made the right one.

Here''s hoping that your waiting will SOON be over!!!

 

[Pandora II]

That''s great news Fisher!

Just wanted to add a bit of advice and that is to steer clear of the anti-inflammatories as they can reduce the chances of getting pregnant. Other types of pain-killer are fine (paracetamol, codeine etc).

 

[swimmer]

Fisher, That is great news! So so happy/relieved for you. Excellent that you are in good hands and that you and Paul are feeling good about your visit and future. We are all pulling for you!

 

[Burk]

Date: 6/19/2009 9:14:12 AM
Author: mela lu

Burk - I''m late to the news, but CONGRATS on your BFP! Tayva is such a cutie pie and is going to be such a great big sister. Healthy Happy 9 months to you!

Thanks! We''re very excited. T is obsessed with babies so I have a feeling she''ll love having one of her own!

 

[peonygirl]

Fisher, I do feel some movement, but it''s subtle since one of my placentas is in front and it''s cushioning everything. Sometimes one of the babies pops up a little and you can see a mass in my stomach, like a golf ball. It''s so weird and cool!

Lulu, don''t worry, Clomid is really unlikely to do anything negative. IIRC you have regular cycles though, right? Do you have any inkling about what could be taking you guys somewhat longer, or are you not sure? I apologize if you already posted in detail about this and I missed it!!

 

[Festy]

Aw, Fishie, thanks for thinking of me! I''m still here and cheering all you ladies on, even if I''m not posting. For me it''s a little bit like the thermometer. It helps me stress less about TTC by not posting (and therefore thinking about it) all the time.

Burk, I totally missed your post about getting a BFP, but congratulations!

Lulu - I think sometimes you have to close your eyes and your brain and just hope for the best. Who knows, those 5 little pills could be the answer. But they surely won''t hurt either, so what the heck, right? My fingers are crossed for you.

 

[fisherofmengirly]

BURK!!!

Did I miss your post, too? You''re pregnant? Did I know this? Hmm... I can''t remember, but CONGRATULATIONS, girl!!

I hope this baby is every bit as precious and cute as Miss Tayva!!!

 

[Burk]

Thanks Festy and Fisher!! I didn''t post it on here, I posted in the mommy thread. I was a little hesitant to post since DH and I agreed not to tell anyone until our first appt because I am very nervous to miscarry. I couldn''t keep it from my PS friends, though!

 

[icekid]

Fisher- Add my to the crew who is so happy for your wonderful appointment! Your doctor sounds wonderful. I just spent the month rotating with a similar doc (though a cardiologist) and all of the patients just adored him. A doc who cares and listens really does make all of the difference in the world. I am wishing all the best for you.

 

[cara]

Date: 6/19/2009 7:51:46 AM
Author: fisherofmengirly
Cara, Is it funny that I always think of you as a knight?

Thank you for the comments, too. I'm looking forward to reading your journey on the other thread! Tell us, how long were you trying? We all love stories like that around here...

Fisher, I'm not sure your going to like this story...

Is there a word for worse than jerkstore?

Trying is probably a strong word to describe our efforts. We'd been *threatening* to try since fall but were too chicken, so we eased into it. Went off hormonal birth control in March, but tapered down condom usage over the spring. May was first month of no protection in danger zone, so... still adjusting! I'm pretty glad my DH is adapting faster than me, cause I'm still in some state of partial disbelief

despite clear signs from my body that something is up! And sometimes it does feel a little more real and then I let myself smile, so its good.

 

[mia1181]

Yay Fisher! I am glad the appointment went well. I love reading your posts and following your story. I feel like I share all of your ups and downs with you. You will be a mommy! I know it! You have so many people routing for you that I swear there will be a huge celebration here on PS when you get that BFP! Anyway I hope you have a great stress free cycle.

Burk I don''t think I''ve congratulated you yet, but that is so awesome, congrats to you, hubby and little T who is going to be a wonderful Big!

Cara congrats to you too!