The Official TTC Thread!

[Laila619]

Date: 9/9/2009 4:40:21 PM
Author: *Lindsey*
Loves Vintage and Laila I am surprised at how many women have to beg and plead with their doctors to do this type of testing. I suspected I had PCOS because my cycles can be sooo long -- 47-60 days. Several months ago I had a consultation with a fertility clinic about IVF with genetic selection because of my last pregnancy. We have opted to conceive naturally once more, and then do IVF w/ PGD if we have another bad outcome. Anyway, the doctor told me that I could come in any time for CD 3 bloodwork, and wanted an HSG and semen analysis done even though I have no known fertility issues.

Hi Lindsey,

I wish I had your doctor, lol. I hope you don''t mind my asking why are they doing all those tests + semenalysis when you have no trouble getting preg? It sounds like your doctor is very proactive and helpful though in any case, that is for sure!

 

[ljmorgan]

Laila I am Rh sensitized due to a blood transfusion several years ago, and as a result my daughter was stillborn at 37 weeks in April. IVF with genetic selection can select embryos that are Rh- to implant in me so that I do not have the risk of carrying another Rh+ child that could be harmed. Very long story that has been addressed here and the preggo thread a while ago. But after consulting with specialists all over the country, we''ve decided to try and conceive our next child without the PGD. Our new specialist has assured us that he has seen many women with antibody levels higher than mine, and that he has not lost a baby in over 10 years. So we put on our brave faces and try again. Anyway, they''re doing the workup on me in case we go with the IVF with genetic selection (PGD) because that is their standard protocol for IVF patients. Even though I have been pregnant, they don''t want you dropping $15k to find out your tubes are hosed up or that you might have a hormonal imbalance that needs to be addressed before starting IVF.

 

[Loves Vintage]

Date: 9/9/2009 5:33:22 PM
Author: Laila619

Date: 9/9/2009 3:44:26 PM
Author: Loves Vintage
All in all, she said that we have not been trying for very long, and even if we have perfectly timed BD, then we only have a 20% chance of getting pregnant, so we need to be patient. The general message was to be patient, but that we will start with the more basic tests just to get things started in terms of diagnosis, if needed.

Blah, blah, blah! That is what they all say, and it is so annoying, and not true. Many people get pregnant easily, on the very first try. My doctor told me in June to relax and it will happen, and that she would not do any tests. Now it's September, and still not pregnant! And my DH has super sperm, so I don't get why the doctors won't do tests on me. I had to switch doctors just to get one who would agree to write a prescription for an ultrasound and a semenalysis.

Weird that your doctor told you that PCOS is not diagnosed via ultrasound, Loves Vintage! Mine told me that if they see cysts on the ultra sound, you pretty much automatically have it. It's fairly easy and painless.

I think bloodwork would maybe tell if you have a hormonal imbalance. The day 3 test will test your FSH and see if you still have plenty of eggs left. The 7 DPO test will tell you if your progesterone levels are normal.

Laila -

Lol, to the highlighted part. I'm not entirely sure what to think. I am glad that I will be having the bloodwork as it is a step toward diagnosis, and I "get" that there is a a routine procedure for diagnosing, and I can't have all of the testing done now. So, I am ok to take things slowly, even though it is a bit frustrating.

Have you had the CD3 and 7DPO testing already? Glad to hear your U/S went well, even though you were not. I totally understand what you mean, btw! It would be nice to just know that there is an issue, if there is one!

Do you mind if I ask how old you are? Just curious. I'm 35, btw.

Lindsey - I suspect the doctors/nurses at the fertility clinic have a different perspective because people are typically referred there from their regular ob/gyns because they are suspected to have fertility issues. In my case, I've been trying for the past 5 months, so I can understand that my doctor would be hesitant to overdo it on testing at this point. Now, if more time passes and no baby, then I am sure I will feel differently and will wish that we had discovered whatever issues I have sooner.

Hopefully, that won't happen though.

I'm glad that your U/S did not reveal any issues. Good luck with the HSG. I guess that is what I was trying to articulate above when I referred to the xrays. Do they have an explanation for why your cycles are so long? Have they always been?

****

I forgot to mention earlier, I am on CD27, with a bunch of negative POAS's already, but there is still hope.

 

[icekid]

Date: 9/9/2009 5:33:22 PM
Author: Laila619

Date: 9/9/2009 3:44:26 PM

Author: Loves Vintage

All in all, she said that we have not been trying for very long, and even if we have perfectly timed BD, then we only have a 20% chance of getting pregnant, so we need to be patient. The general message was to be patient, but that we will start with the more basic tests just to get things started in terms of diagnosis, if needed.

Weird that your doctor told you that PCOS is not diagnosed via ultrasound, Loves Vintage! Mine told me that if they see cysts on the ultra sound, you pretty much automatically have it. It's fairly easy and painless.

Give your doctor a little credit

It is definitely not true that cysts on ovaries = PCOS. Many, many tiny cysts on ovaries is generally PCOS. And blood tests are actually the best way to diagnose. Insulin resistance, high testosterone, etc. The endocrinologist I worked with last year said that ob-gyn docs WAY overdiagnose PCOS, actually.

And... forgive me for being blunt, but your doctor should not order expensive tests unless there is a good reason. I realize we're all impatient to get pregnant

but as a society, we need to stop using healthcare unnecessarily, IMO.

And thank you for all of the warm welcomes to the thread a few pages back, ladies! I soo cannot wait. My husband is so cute; he told his best friend that we were going to be trying soon and then told him about the girl name that we have (preliminarily) chosen. I was not expecting him to say a word to anyone until we are actually knocked up. But apparently he must be excited too

 

[Loves Vintage]

Date: 9/9/2009 5:58:40 PM
Author: icekid

Date: 9/9/2009 5:33:22 PM
Author: Laila619

Date: 9/9/2009 3:44:26 PM

Author: Loves Vintage

All in all, she said that we have not been trying for very long, and even if we have perfectly timed BD, then we only have a 20% chance of getting pregnant, so we need to be patient. The general message was to be patient, but that we will start with the more basic tests just to get things started in terms of diagnosis, if needed.

Weird that your doctor told you that PCOS is not diagnosed via ultrasound, Loves Vintage! Mine told me that if they see cysts on the ultra sound, you pretty much automatically have it. It's fairly easy and painless.

Give your doctor a little credit

It is definitely not true that cysts on ovaries = PCOS. Many, many tiny cysts on ovaries is generally PCOS. And blood tests are actually the best way to diagnose. Insulin resistance, high testosterone, etc. The endocrinologist I worked with last year said that ob-gyn docs WAY overdiagnose PCOS, actually.

And... forgive me for being blunt, but your doctor should not order expensive tests unless there is a good reason. I realize we're all impatient to get pregnant

but as a society, we need to stop using healthcare unnecessarily, IMO.

And thank you for all of the warm welcomes to the thread a few pages back, ladies! I soo cannot wait. My husband is so cute; he told his best friend that we were going to be trying soon and then told him about the girl name that we have (preliminarily) chosen. I was not expecting him to say a word to anyone until we are actually knocked up. But apparently he must be excited too

So, I think the thing is that we as patients only have a limited amount of time with our physicians. My physician was actually a bit rushed today, and I am sure that will often be the case. Facts may get left out. Laila was clearly left with the impression that ultrasounds are a primary diagnostic tool for PCOS. I was told differently today and am happy to proceed under my doctor's instructions, however, I see no harm in comparing notes as we just have. I think we both learned something from our discussion.

 

[Laila619]

Date: 9/9/2009 5:52:08 PM
Author: *Lindsey*
Even though I have been pregnant, they don't want you dropping $15k to find out your tubes are hosed up or that you might have a hormonal imbalance that needs to be addressed before starting IVF.

Ahh, that makes sense then. I knew about your beautiful Natalie, and I am so so sorry.

Vintage, I am 28. We have been trying for 6 months. Since I am young, I thought we would have a much easier time of it. No, I have not done the bloodwork yet. My doctor said he would do the ultrasound only, and if I had cysts, he would give me Clomid. Now he says Clomid is out. He did say we can do the bloodwork next month so I think I will go ahead.

ice kid, ultrasound is not the only way to test for PCOS but it is one way. Ultrasounds also tell things that bloodwork cannot, like whether the shape of your uterus is healthy and normal, how thick your lining is (mine is too thin) and the size of your ovaries, which is what my doctor wanted to also find out. Besides, blood tests and lab work are just as expensive.

http://pcos.about.com/od/pcos101/bb/tvus.htm

 

[swimmer]

So LV, your dr is right and yet...how frustrating. To clarify for newbs (ETA and b/c i started typing before icekid posted, but still think it might be useful): pcos is diagnosed by both bloodtest, the hormones and glucose test, and also an u/s. Some drs want all three to indicate pcos, some just one. You can have fine hormones at some point in your cycle and day, and you can randomly have a cycle without a string of pearls and some pcos ladies have no cysts! It seems to be a catchall really. I have a few book (the first few to come up on amazon) and I was stalking soulcysters for awhile and it really seems to be such a wide variety of symptoms and things that work for fertility. The one thing...metformin...just seems to clear up so many things. I am still taking it in order to decrease the chance of miscarriage. A few studies have said that 70% of women with pcos miscarry, but the metformin takes it down to standard risk level. Not to freak anyone out, again, it just seems like a diagnosis that gets tossed out a great deal by some and not at all by other doctors. weirdness. But back to LV specifically, it is so frustrating, esp at 35, (i''m not far behind you), can you get a rush on these tests? The glucose is a pita. Do you have sugar balancing issues, headrushes, etc? Mmmm, 5 months is almost 6, then even insurance says you get to have some more testing... Good luck getting someone to act. You are doing all the right things.

Lindsey, excellent that you are getting the tests done asap. This is going to happen.

Laila, if your lining is thin, then you do NOT want to do clomid. It will just thin it out more. I spend months of heartbreak finding out that little experiment. If the lining is too thin, there will be no implantation. So eventually, if you need to get meds it would be more like femara or gonal-f or something that is not clomid. You might totally know this already, but brownies are almost done and my brain is mush.

Thanks Charger! Get thee to a reproductive endocrinologist stat!

Lulu, Festy, Fisher, Melz, Cara, Drk, BB, NewShiny, Hou, and others who I can''t think of now that the brownies are ready, what is up?

Welcome all the new ladies. Brownies all around to you all!

 

[Loves Vintage]

Hi Swimmer!! Glad you checked in! How are you feeling? You must be back to school and super-busy. I assume you have summers off from teaching?

So, do you think I should push for the glucose test sooner, and that''s it? My understanding was that I would have the CD3 and 7DPO to see what results turn up. So, assuming I have a 32 day cycle, those tests would be taken 8 days and 26 days (assuming CD14 OV again) from now. And, then, I would have the glucose test a month or two later. She also indicated the glucose test was a PITA and seemed to want to prevent me from having to go through that unnecessarily. I have had blood sugar issues in the past, severe head rushes but only when getting up too fast, etc. I think I will call her about the glucose test and see if she will order it. Uhm, would I want to wait until my new cycle starts?

 

[tiffanytwisted]

Brownies?? Did someone say brownies?

 

[Dreamer_D]

I wanted to chime in about the issue of why it takes time to get pregnant.

Yup, no one wants to hear that it takes time, but when I was TTC we talked a lot on here about *why* it takes a while and what the actual numbers represent and it made it clearer to me why doctors want to wait to do tests... and also why it really is important to be patient. A bunch of us were researchers so we actually looked up the stats.

First of all, the *average* amount of time it takes to get pg is 6 months. Yes, that''s right, six months. We all know people who get pg the first month they try, or even sooner, but those people are the exceptions not the rule. The average normal amount of time is 6 months though for healthy young women with no issues. And that doesn''t mean that there is a problem if it takes longer than 6 months either. The healthy range is up to about 12 months. There is a reason that infertility is not considered until 12 months of TTC, and that is because it is totally normal for it to take that long. Heartbreaking and terrible to go through, but nevertheless normative.

Although we all think it should happen right away, in fact only about 20% of women TTCing get pregnant each month. Broken down, if we take 100 women randomly, about 40% get pg in the first 3 months, another 20% in months 4 to 6, another 20% in months 6 to 9, and then most of the rest will get pg by 12 months, all without any intervention. Another percentage, around 5% or so, will take up to 24 months to get pg without intervention and without any apparant reason, something that I believe Fisher pointed out a while ago.

Why are these numbers so low?

Out of 100 fertilized eggs, about 50% of fertilized eggs do not reach implantation and another 50% will implant but will quickly cease to divide and grow. So only about 25% of fertilized eggs actually implant successfully! And this success is almost 100% decided by dumb, random chance. A bad luck of the genetic draw causing a short circuit in the development of the cells.

I don''t point this out to be a harbinger of doom, but rather as an example of *why* it takes a long time to actually get pg -- the process of creating life is a complicated and delicate process, and even when everything is perfect, it is still fragile. 75% of the time it just doesn''t work and there is no reason at all that one can pinpoint. And there is nothing at all that we can do to try to overcome this truly random process, except hope and pray and try to keep a sense of humour through it all.

So it is a waiting game.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 9/9/2009 6:55:06 AM
Author: puppmom
Laila, I always spot in TWW too. It usually starts around 9/10 DPO. It''s annoying for many reasons and now obviously a concern that I''m TTC. I go to my regular GYN in a few weeks and I''m going to ask about the possibility of low progesterone. Dreamer mentioned a few posts ago that there are some PS success stories of folks with low progesterone and/or shorter luteal phase.

CD1 here...bleh!

I am not sure about the progesterone issues and success, but a "short" LP around 10 days is not actually a sign of problems -- unless you have problems if you KWIM

. It is well within the normal range and many women, including ones here, have gotten pg with short phases. I think out of all the women TTCing in the 2 years since this thread was started, which is probably close to 40 or more women, *perhaps* one woman actually had an LP deficit, and this I don''t think has been 100% confirmed, it is only suspected.

But the funny thing is that almost every woman I know here has worried about an LP deficit at one point in her TTC journey. But in fact having an LP defiticit is very very rare. I am not saying that it is impossible, but although we all worried about it, in fact it is a remote possibility. I think that TCOYF over emphasizes the possbility and it causes undue worry.

I am sorry I don''t know your specific TTC story, but really and truly, if it has been less than 6mo or 12mo of trying, depending on your age, then the most likely explanation is the dumb luck I was talking about in my previous post. For the majority of women there is not a specific reason and unfortunately, we all just have to practice the fine art of patient.

I suck at that myself

but there is really no other way.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 9/9/2009 7:27:25 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie

...
First of all, the *average* amount of time it takes to get pg is 6 months. Yes, that''s right, six months. We all know people who get pg the first month they try, or even sooner, but those people are the exceptions not the rule. The average normal amount of time is 6 months though for healthy young women with no issues. And that doesn''t mean that there is a problem if it takes longer than 6 months either. The healthy range is up to about 12 months. There is a reason that infertility is not considered until 12 months of TTC, and that is because it is totally normal for it to take that long. Heartbreaking and terrible to go through, but nevertheless normative.

And ha haha at myself for this brilliant comment

I am leaving it even though I can still edit because I think it is hilar!

 

[swimmer]

Ha, come on over T, we didn't eat them all, and there is ice cream. So rare!

LV, it is a PITA, but not painful or anything (bring reading) and once you get it done, you will know more about your bod. Esp if you do have sugar issues, there could be other things, and of course solutions. Hormones and insulin are just so connected. I would encourage being tested...you know, with my google md.

Yes, school started so i am wiped out. Not a symptom, this happens every year, just want to go to sleep and wake up in June.

Dreamer, that is an awesome statement. Aren't we all issue free?

Come to think of it, i hope that the bunch of us who have had to seek medical intervention have not made some folks think that this is the normal path, or this is what lies in store for you ladies. Several of us went straight to treatment b/c of other existing conditions or ended up here after more than a year or so. Hey if it took us this long, statistically perhaps it will take you less? It has to even out at some point right?

 

[fisherofmengirly]

Checking in with the girls! Hi, ladies!

Our trip was fabulous, will have to post about it soon, but I just got home from work and I''m hungry (and so are the hubby and puppies!!). I couldn''t wait to come on and check in on our newly pregnant friends, though. How are you guys doing? Tiffany, what were your numbers at the Dr? Swimmer, how are you holding up, lady?

Festy, did you test yet? It''s about that time, isn''t it? Did you already post? I didn''t see anything....

Anyway, thinking of you all, keeping positive and waiting for the good things yet to come in our lives. There''s lots to be thankful for, indeed!

(And yes, it is annoying when you''re told to wait and test this and that later, but Drs. have their reasons and if it seems unrealistic or like you''re being ignored, you can seek out another opinion. I wish, how I wish, this was an easy, fast process for everyone, but just remember more often than not, it happens, and that''s very important to keep in mind. 24 months seems like forever, and I hope NONE of us get there, but almost everyone who tries to become pregnant is successful, eventually. I tuck that away in my mind and it helps on the days when I worry about my FSH being 9. Time, it''s just a matter of time...)

 

[icekid]

LV and Laila... I was not trying to prevent you from discussing; just trying to add to your information and prevent the spread of misinformation. I am a physician and thus have a bit of knowledge here myself

It is certainly regrettable that your doctor is not at liberty to spend enough time with you to answer all of your questions, though! It is incredibly difficult to get everything into a 15 minute office visit.

Laila- Yes, blood work and ultrasounds are both expensive when they''re not necessary. But if they are, then not so much

And ladies, please listen to dreamer''s wise advice. Sure there are women out there who get knocked up the first month every time they try. However, this is not the norm!

 

[icekid]

Date: 9/9/2009 7:40:09 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie

Date: 9/9/2009 7:27:25 PM

Author: dreamer_dachsie


...

First of all, the *average* amount of time it takes to get pg is 6 months. Yes, that''s right, six months. We all know people who get pg the first month they try, or even sooner, but those people are the exceptions not the rule. The average normal amount of time is 6 months though for healthy young women with no issues. And that doesn''t mean that there is a problem if it takes longer than 6 months either. The healthy range is up to about 12 months. There is a reason that infertility is not considered until 12 months of TTC, and that is because it is totally normal for it to take that long. Heartbreaking and terrible to go through, but nevertheless normative.

And ha haha at myself for this brilliant comment

I am leaving it even though I can still edit because I think it is hilar!

hahaha... dreamer, I love it! You are right, there are some women who get pregnant before they try

 

[Laila619]

I've heard all the stats that Dreamer posted many times, but I'm still somewhat frustrated, because in real life, all the women I know got pregnant on the first or second try. We have tons of Pricescopers here who got pregnant on the first try. Some were on the pill or not even trying (lucky them!). So despite those stats that doctors always spout about how hard it is and that it takes tons of time, I just don't see that happening with the women I know personally.

I'm a very impatient person too, lol.

(As if you couldn't guess!)

Swimmer, Drk, and Tiffany, how are your pregnancies coming along ladies? Hope you're feeling good!

 

[drk]

Hey guys - still lurking, still ticking away (15 weeks Friday, amazingly! I still can''t entirely believe it, but this kid had better hang in for a good while longer).

About the PCOS testing. I was tested for CD3 LH and FSH (my LH was way high). I had the long irregular cycles, but am skinny, not too hairy (well, not before I got pg anyhow). They also tested my fasting glucose and insulin the same day as the LH and FSH. My fasting glucose was normal, the fasting insulin proportionately high (very high normal), which helped to confirm the diagnosis. Ultrasounds have showed that I have chunky ovaries - I think I meet some volume criteria for PCOS, but I don''t know that I''ve got the string of perals appearance that is supposedly classic. I think the ultrasound is a bit of a controversial way to diagnose it these days. The HSG has nothing to do with testing for PCOS, it''s just to tell you if your tubes are open.

Good luck with the clomid Lindsey!

I''ve read too many posts to remember anything else, but hi to all!

 

[Laila619]

I don't know if this is accurate or not, but my doctor also told me if a woman is having a regular cycle every 26-32 days like clockwork, then she does not have PCOS. He said women with PCOS have cycles over 35 days, and/or do not even ovulate or have periods at all. Or they do but once every 3 months.

He is an older doctor (in his 60s) so he might just be old-school or not as up to date on newer methods/tests. I'm just going to stick it out with him until I can get a referral to a RE.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Date: 9/9/2009 9:09:23 PM
Author: Laila619
I've heard all the stats that Dreamer posted many times, but I'm still somewhat frustrated, because in real life, all the women I know got pregnant on the first or second try. We have tons of Pricescopers here who got pregnant on the first try. Some were on the pill or not even trying (lucky them!). So despite those stats that doctors always spout about how hard it is and that it takes tons of time, I just don't see that happening with the women I know personally.

I'm a very impatient person too, lol.

(As if you couldn't guess!)

I have noticed that people sometimes re-write the length of time they were trying so that suddenly it is one or two months

Seen it here on PS too... suddenly that first month or two didn't count

People like to brag about it like a car. When it takes longer, no one talks about it.

And they aren't spouted stats, they are the truth. So if *all* the people you know got preggo on the first try... welll then... see my comment previously

I bet all their marriages are perfect too

I'm just sayin' ...

 

[NewShiny]

LV, I am curious as to where you live. Also, did the Dr. say anything about your thyroid? I think you''re borderline in terms of treatment if your TSH is 3.0. Mine was 3.9, which is also borderline according to some labs.

It is interesting the discussions that we have here when people to to the Dr. for the first time after they''ve been trying to TTC for awhile. I went to my Dr. after about 9 months of trying and the first thing he did was an ultrasound - right there and then, in the office. He said it was to look at the shape of my uterus and check for cysts. Yet other doctors don''t do ultrasounds right away, as evidenced by Vintage''s experience today. I guess the protocol is different depending on who your doctor is and/or what we tell our doctors.

IceKid, welcome!

Fisher, I''m glad you had a great getaway. I can''t wait to hear more about your trip.

Anyone have any suggestions on what time of day I should take my first OPK test tomorrow? This weeks is horrible timing for O b/c my dad is having his prostate removed due to cancer tomorrow, but I don''t want to skip trying this month because I feel like my family really needs some good news. The doctors think the cancer is in early stages and confined to his prostate, but it is still scary. My dad just told me last week so me & DH didn''t have time to fly out to CA or cancel our Hawaii trip. We are going out there just after we get back from HI though. If we''re super lucky maybe we''ll have the good news to share by then.

 

[HOUMedGal]

Date: 9/9/2009 6:49:48 PM
Author: swimmer


Lulu, Festy, Fisher, Melz, Cara, Drk, BB, NewShiny, Hou, and others who I can't think of now that the brownies are ready, what is up?

Brownies?!?!!? Yummmmmmo!! Pass 'em over here....

Looks like I'm 8dpo tody...fertility friend and ovusoft agree. I'm attaching my chart so you guys can see...I wondered about my temp from yesterday, since it was right on the coverline, but I'm back up high today, so I think I really may be post-O! It all fits, with the tender BB's I had for the 2 days prior to O-day. I also realized that the OPK's I did on CD 15 and CD16 that were not quite as dark as the control line (so technically negative) were with morning urine, because I didn't know any better, so perhaps if I had done them in the afternoon one of them (or both) would have been positive. We'll see next cycle. I'm just really excited that it looks like I O'ed on CD17 on my 1st cycle off hormonal BC! I was hoping or a more or less normal cycle, but fully prepared for the fact that I may have a wonky long cycle.

Hope all is well with everyone...I'm off to enjoy some wine and pizza for dinner.

Had a long day at work....12 hr ER shift, and had to intubate a 4 week old little boy who has bad pneumonia at the end of my shift.

He was breathing 94 times a minute when he came in...not good. I escorted him to the PICU just before coming home....praying that he does OK.

ETA: forgot to attach my chart. See next post....

 

[HOUMedGal]

here it is!

 

[Loves Vintage]

NewShiny, I am sorry to hear about your father's diagnosis. I am glad to hear that he has a good prognosis. Sending lots and lots of good healing dust to your father.

I live in CT. My doctor was glad that I brought in the results of my blood work and said that my thyroid levels were good. She was not concerned about the TSH of 3, and I did not press it.

Swimmer, Thanks for your advice. Glad to hear you're doing well, even if a bit tired from the new school year.

 

[Laila619]

Date: 9/9/2009 10:19:38 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie
And they aren't spouted stats, they are the truth. So if *all* the people you know got preggo on the first try... welll then... see my comment previously

I bet all their marriages are perfect too

I'm just sayin' ...

Hee dreamer!

Thanks for cheering us all on!

Nice looking chart, HouMedGal! Good high post O temps.

 

[swimmer]

Laila, your Dr. is totally correct. PCOS means 9 or fewer periods a year. So if you are a lucky 28 day lady, then no, you do not have pcos and that would be awesome. Honey, we all totally sympathize with not wanting to wait. DH and I worked on it over a year...and now I am just terrified that this time won''t work out either. I agree with DD, people lie about this. I have seen women who I know got pregnant with IVF tell people that they were "surprised" about getting pregnant and what an unexpected miracle! I agree that it is indeed a miracle, but wonder why they just didn''t want to admit that it was difficult to get pregnant.

Perhaps when we have to try to get pregnant and lie awake at night hundreds of hours planning and hoping and praying on it we will be better and more patient mothers for it. -not that "oopsie" moms aren''t awesome, but they can''t really know what it is like to go through the torture of what seems like everyone else getting what they want immediately -just like we won''t ever experience their shock and range of emotions at discovering their status. You are waiting for the right baby to come along, just like we all waited/worked on finding our DHs. It might take interventions to get your baby, just like you might have turned to eharmony or something to find your man. But maybe it will happen totally organically. All we know is that it can''t be forced. Good luck.

 

[fisherofmengirly]

Lindsey,

I'm sorry, girl. Keep on keeping on and you'll have a baby in your arms soon. I'm sure of it. You're absolutely going to get through all this struggle, and your little one will get to hear all about how loved his/her older sister is, too. Thinking of you, and so glad you've got so much Dr. support in the process. That means a LOT!

****

Pupp,

Sorry about your cycle not ending up as you'd have preferred. It's a hard, emotional ride, isn't it? I would say that each cycle gets a little bit easier to handle the disappointment, but it really depends on the cycle, and how excited/optimistic you are for each one. It seems like this process can be so unfair... especially when it seems like everyone around you is pregnant or became pregnant so easily. The important thing I try to focus in on is that when friends have babies, we get to share that joy with them (and baby-sit and give the baby back when the day's over, to boot!), and our time really will come. No one can predict when it will happen, and while it does just *happen* with so little effort for some, the vast majority of families end up trying for a little bit, at least. As with all struggles in life (and aren't there a lot of them??), we get the opportunity to grow and learn through the struggles, which I can only believe will add to the joy in the times of success. It's worked that way for me so far, anyway.

Keep on keeping on... A new cycle is a new chance!

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DrK,

Thanks for checking in.

I'm glad your little one's doing well! Very exciting. I love reading on the preggo thread when you've "snuck" in for a viewing of the baby. Too sweet!! Enjoy every moment, mommy!!

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Laila,

It's true that it does *seem* like so many people get pregnant "right away," but like Dreamer said, people tilt their time frames at times.... I have seen it happen a lot of times. People will say they were trying, but not hard, things like that. And while it may be true, it's still trying! We were off the pill for three cycles before we tried for a baby, and we weren't "trying" then, but if it happened, it would've been a blessed surprise (we were using other means to prevent at that time). Sadly, people think TTC and struggles in the area of fertility are taboo subjects. I honestly had NO idea that so many of my friends struggled in the area of growing a baby until I was open about our struggles in the area. It's like no one wants to say it unless someone else is going through it, too. I'm not like that, and it's very apparent to my close friends how deeply Paul and I want a baby, so I figure why fake it? It actually makes me feel better to know that there are others who are going through the same thing. Not because I want others to endure the struggle, but because it "normalizes" it to a degree. There's no magic baby button, but wouldn't that be awesome?

So just take your friends' comments with a grain of salt. Women like to think that they're fertile; it's very difficult from the standpoint of being a female who wants to nurture a child and be confronted with the LONG wait in reaching that life stage. It's only human nature to fudge on timelines in order to feel a little better about yourself. (I mean, people lie about their age all the time, you know?)

Hang in there and know that there are MANY other families in the same spot as you right this moment.

And while there have been lots of Pricescopers who've gotten pregnant the first try, there are many more who had to wait a few months (or longer...).

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HOU,

Yay for crosshairs! I still get crazy excited when I see those little lines. Little joys in life, right? Hoping this is your cycle, girl.

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Swimmer,

Thanks for the check in. Thinking only the very best for you and your little one. It's going to be a wonderful pregnancy. I just know it!!

Hope the school year goes well for you. Paul, too, is thinking of May already. Haha. I told him that summer breaks make him lazy.... He said it's a teacher's "right." Haha.

I'm praying that what all of us longer TTCers are learning in this process only aids in our ability to be stellar mothers; I'm pretty sure that's how it'll work out. My dad always said you appreciate things more when you work for them. Haha, and lots of us have been doing A LOT of work. Again, like you said, not to say that the one shot wonder mom and dads out there aren't good parents, but at least a good way to look at this long, tedious, heartbreaking process for us...

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I think the camera program on the computer is messed up.

I can't figure out how to download the pictures and I got some really pretty ring shots I was super excited to share with the girls here. Grr indeed. I'll see if Paul can help me with it tonight... And to think I thought I'd finally mastered the camera/posting issues I'd had here!

 

[tiffanytwisted]

Date: 9/9/2009 10:19:38 PM
Author: dreamer_dachsie

Date: 9/9/2009 9:09:23 PM
Author: Laila619
I''ve heard all the stats that Dreamer posted many times, but I''m still somewhat frustrated, because in real life, all the women I know got pregnant on the first or second try. We have tons of Pricescopers here who got pregnant on the first try. Some were on the pill or not even trying (lucky them!). So despite those stats that doctors always spout about how hard it is and that it takes tons of time, I just don''t see that happening with the women I know personally.

I''m a very impatient person too, lol.

(As if you couldn''t guess!)

I have noticed that people sometimes re-write the length of time they were trying so that suddenly it is one or two months

Seen it here on PS too... suddenly that first month or two didn''t count

People like to brag about it like a car. When it takes longer, no one talks about it.

And they aren''t spouted stats, they are the truth. So if *all* the people you know got preggo on the first try... welll then... see my comment previously

I bet all their marriages are perfect too

I''m just sayin'' ...

Totally agreed. There''s been quite a few people I know who went off the pill, but never admitted they were trying, and then when they got pregnant said it was the first month of really trying. And these people weren''t charting to avoid, they just didn''t admit they were trying until it happened.

 

[tiffanytwisted]

NewShiny- I always got best results with my opk''s if I did them in the afternoon, usually between noon and 2pm.
I''m sorry to hear about your father''s diagnosis. Sounds like he has a good prognosis though. I''ll be thinking of him.

 

[blushingbride]

Date: 9/8/2009 9:07:06 AM
Author: vespergirl

Date: 9/8/2009 8:50:42 AM
Author: blushingbride
Lindsey - I''m sorry to hear that news. I, unfortunatley, am in the same boat (minus the chemical pregnancy) - AF arrived this morning for me.

The good news is that my LP was a solid 12 days!

ETA - one strange thing to note was that my bbs were not sore at all during my 2ww. This was my first month on clomid (only 50mg) - does anyone know why that would be? Normally, my bbs hurt a few days before AF. The month of my BFP, they didn''t hurt until after my BFP. Just wondering if it was a progesterone issue or not since I wasn''t tested at 7DPO.

Hey blushing, I can''t answer your question, but I just wanted to wish you luck now that you''re on Clomid. After 10 months of TTC and finally being diagnosed with PCOS, I conceived during my second cycle of 50 mg Clomid. I just wanted to share that with you and wish you luck now that you''ve started your Clomid - hopefully you''ll see results very soon!

Vesper - thanks so much for the encouragement - it''s really appreciated! I went for an ultrasound this morning and day 3 bloodwork and looks like I already have a 9mm folicle in my left ovary. I was told to start clomid today instead of day 5 like last month because we are going to Sweden in two weeks they want me to ovulate before I go. I think our plan is try IUI next month if this cycle doesn''t work for us.

Question for you and all the clomid users - when do you all start BDing? Last cycle, we started on day 8 and I didn''t ovulate until day 16 so, by the time the important days rolled around, DH felt like he was "overused." We BD''d EOD up until the trigger shot and then 3 days in a row. This cycle, I''d like us to start a little closer to ovulation. Also, those of you starting on day 3, when do you normally ovulate?

NewShiny - you know we are in very similar situations. I went to my RE after 10 months of trying and after we chatted for a while, she took me in for an ultrasound as well. Little did we know I was pregnant at the time.

Anyway, I think you should take your OPKs in the afternoon like Tiffany suggeted. I was the CBEFM and that requires FMU but, I''ve always read the afternoon was better to catch the surge for OPKs.

I''m so sorry to hear about your dad. I just found out that a very dear co-worker was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer - isn''t that one of the worst cancers to have? I''m praying for him and his family. I was so shocked when he told me because he truly is on of the most laid back and nicest person I''ve ever met. I''m not sure what stage he is, since he just found out. He went for a lot testing last week and I haven''t seen him yet this week. Cancer is horrible - I hate it!!!

I''ll be praying for your dad and your family as well.

Thinking of everyone waiting to BD or test this cycle!!! >>>> to us all!!!!