The Official TTC Thread!

[walkinfaith]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Hi all! I usually lurk here, but my DH and I have just started to TTC and I took a FRER this morning at 8dpo and I could really use some unbiased eyes to see if there's the faintest pink line here or not - my eyes are going crossed trying to look and although he sees it too,DH worries it may just be confirmation bias. This is our first cycle trying and I didn't get to take my pre-natals for a month beforehand so I won't be crushed if we're not PG this cycle, but if we were we'd be thrilled so I'm just dying to know!! I have symptoms (persistent cramp on left side, creamy CM after ovulation, backache, etc.) but of course they could all be PMS symptoms so Actually, I had one symptom that gave me pause, I suddenly got a bumpy face rash out of nowhere, didn't use anything different, didn't eat anything out of the ordinary. I never get these kinds of rashes, so I was like hmmm....

Here are some pics where you can kind of see it better, but honestly probably looks like nothing (sorry they're sideways! I feel like now I can only see the line if I tilt my head sideways also - which makes me feel ridiculous for even posting this!). Thoughts? TIA!

 

[walkinfaith]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!



??

 

[SMC]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

walkinfaith - I don't see anything, but you could try testing again in a few days when you expect AF?
daintyG - sorry it didn't work out this time! My doctor said it could take 6 cycles if you're under 35, and up to a year if you're over. I turned 35 this year.

I'm in my two week wait now, going to test on Thursday! I don't feel that different, so I'm not expecting any good news. I met up with some moms from my DD's baby group this past weekend and 2 of them are in their 2nd trimester with their second kids already. I am jealous, but I am also ok with trying for another few months. We are moving at the end of next month, so I don't want to deal with first trimester nausea in the middle of packing and getting our existing home fixed up for sale!

 

[daintyG]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

SMC, I wish I could be more laid back about it like you are! I have been depressed every time AF comes. But I understand not wanting to deal with early pregnancy symptoms while moving. I have basically missed the opportunity to have a baby over summer break, so if I get pregnant I will likely be working from home during the maternity leave. I will have to cross that bridge when I get there.

walkinfaith I'm not sure if I see anything or not! On some I thought maybe I was seeing a line. 8 DPO is early, but I'm not such a patient gal myself. When do you think you'll test again? Please tell us more about yourself and keep us updated!!!

 

[walkinfaith]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

SMC - it's definitely early and I'll test again in a few days. I'm going to try to wait a week but we'll see how that goes!

daintyG - Hi, thanks so much for the welcome! My DH and I just eloped and we basically started TTC #1 right away. Waiting patiently is definitely not my strong suit How long have you been TTC?
I feel like I have a bunch of symptoms, but of course you can make anything a thing when you want to believe you're pregnant! Although I found out today that my MMR immunity is unclear/seems to be waning so maybe it's better that I'm not pregnant this month so I can get the vaccination and then wait a month to try again. I'm almost 36 so we kinda jumped the gun. Now THAT waiting to try again is going to be torture!!
Just for kicks, I adjusted one of the pics to reflect what I see IRL:


I think I'm just imagining things

Has anyone gotten pregnant without having MMR immunity? Is it a really big deal?

Thanks so much for letting me join in and unload all of these secret TTC thoughts!

 

[daintyG]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Congratulations on your marriage! What an exciting time! So, I'm curious how you know your MMR resistance is lessening. My immunizations haven't really crossed my mind much before. I know I really need a tetanus shot, though!!! It's been 15 years!

I definitely see a faint line in your adjusted picture. You're going to wait a week to retest?! I would kill myself in anticipation!!! But by then it would be much easier to tell. I get caught up and excited each time, so I'm no help.

I've only been TTC three cycles. For a few cycles before that I was just exercising, charting, taking vitamins, and figuring out my TTC plan. I was ready to start trying probably around February, but waited six months hoping I could time it to have a summer baby. Now I'm mad at myself for wasting the time, knowing now it was for nothing.

 

[walkinfaith]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Thanks so much dG! I found out about my immunity because I went to the gyno for a 'pre-conception' check (although we'd already started TTC) and she did a blood test to check for my chicken pox and MMR immunity, as if caught during pregnancy, chicken pox and german measles (rubella) can cause birth defects.

As for testing again, I'm totally gonna wait a week...from today, since I POAS already this morning It was a BFN so maybe yesterday was actually nothing. I'm trying to tell myself it's a good thing since it'd be nice to be able to get the vaccination and be on my prenatals longer before we try again. I'm sorry you feel down about waiting, but I think you did it the ideal, wise way. Besides, if you get your BFP next month your due date would be in August, still summer!

 

[SMC]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

I POAS this morning and BFN. Onto the next cycle! I have to admit that I'm slightly relieved because I didn't want to deal with nausea and tiredness while moving in the next month.

I'm going to try the Clearblue fertility monitor the next cycle too. I want to try for a boy with the Shettles method. I don't necessarily believe it will work, but it doesn't hurt to give it a shot.

Daintyg, it seems like you did all the right things to prep your body for a baby. I'm sure that all the prenatal vitamins will give your baby a good foundation to grow.
walkinfaith, hopefully you get good news next week!

 

[daintyG]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

I think the Shettles method/gender swaying is very interesting!
I would really like to have a girl, but I'm not going to do anything special to try for it. All the waiting/timing for O seems to hard for me when I don't have a predictable O day.

I just called my gyn's office to ask about a preconception visit/blood draw. They basically said I can go to the health department and check for my MMR immunity there. Ok. I need to find a new doctor anyway, though, because this gynecologist isn't an obstetrician.

 

[random_thought]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Hey everyone,

Someone decided to offer me a job so I'll be back in here soon Hopefully before the New Year!

 

[SMC]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Hey everyone,

Someone decided to offer me a job so I'll be back in here soon Hopefully before the New Year!

Yay, congrats! I'm very hopeful the IUI or IVF will work for you and you can expand your family soon.

 

[daintyG]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Congratulations! I hope you will come back soon!

 

[daintyG]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Last cycle I got a positive OPK on cd 20 and my temp rose on cd 24. This cycle I got a positive OPK on cd 21 and I am hoping my shift will be tomorrow on cd 25. Is it normal for your temps to rise 4 days after the positive OPK? Does it mean I have weak ovulation?

 

[ckrickett]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

After my MC a year and a half ago my DH and I are finally TTC! I am elated! <3

 

[daintyG]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Welcome ckrickett! I'm sorry to hear about your MC. Here's hoping your BFP comes soon!

 

[daintyG]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

My temp went up yesterday. Still worried it's a weak O.

 

[SMC]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Well, I tested the day before AF last time and got a BFN so I thought I wasn't pregnant. After waiting for 3 weeks and not getting my period, I tested again this morning, and it's a BFP! I am freaking out. 7.5 weeks along, due date 7/4/17. First doctor's appointment in 2 weeks!

 

[ckrickett]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Welcome ckrickett! I'm sorry to hear about your MC. Here's hoping your BFP comes soon!

Thank you!! Same to you! <3

 

[ckrickett]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Well, I tested the day before AF last time and got a BFN so I thought I wasn't pregnant. After waiting for 3 weeks and not getting my period, I tested again this morning, and it's a BFP! I am freaking out. 7.5 weeks along, due date 7/4/17. First doctor's appointment in 2 weeks!

OH Congrats! That is wonderful News!!!!

 

[daintyG]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Congrats, SMC!!!!

 

[SMC]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Thanks daintyG and ckrickett! Hopefully, you both will get good news soon and join me in the JBP thread.

 

[SMC]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

I'm rejoining the thread. I had a pregnancy loss. It was twins but the ultrasound showed that they stopped developing at 6w. I'm glad that it ended early and also glad to not have twins. That would be too hard on us financially. We're going to wait one cycle and then start trying again.

This is one of those things that I know is super common, but never expect to happen to myself. So I'm sad, disappointed, but hopeful. And I'm still counting myself among the lucky ones.

 

[ckrickett]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

I'm rejoining the thread. I had a pregnancy loss. It was twins but the ultrasound showed that they stopped developing at 6w. I'm glad that it ended early and also glad to not have twins. That would be too hard on us financially. We're going to wait one cycle and then start trying again.

This is one of those things that I know is super common, but never expect to happen to myself. So I'm sad, disappointed, but hopeful. And I'm still counting myself among the lucky ones.

Oh I am so sorry. I had a MC a year and a half ago and it was one of the hardest things I had ever gone through. But you sound hopeful! Lucky indeed, I hope you are healthy and well! <3

 

[Bella_mezzo]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

SMC I am so sorry! I had a miscarriage around 5 weeks this summer and it was really hard emotionally. Take care of yourself.

 

[SMC]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

I had the option of getting a D&C or using medication myself at home. I opted for the medication (misoprostol), and I'm grateful that it was a physically easy experience. I read some horror stories about misoprostol after I'd taken the medication, and I got pretty anxious waiting for things to happen, but luckily, it was over really quickly and relatively painlessly. I would recommend trying this option first before a D&C if given a choice, because it's less invasive and (according to my doc) there is less chance of scarring and infection. I honestly thought it was just like getting my period. The most challenging part was taking the medication to end a pregnancy that we wanted.

Thanks everyone for your kind words. Doctor says that we could start trying again if I wanted to, no reason to wait a cycle except for more accurate dating. So we're definitely back to TTC! Hoping everyone gets good news soon!

 

[April20]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

I had the option of getting a D&C or using medication myself at home. I opted for the medication (misoprostol), and I'm grateful that it was a physically easy experience. I read some horror stories about misoprostol after I'd taken the medication, and I got pretty anxious waiting for things to happen, but luckily, it was over really quickly and relatively painlessly. I would recommend trying this option first before a D&C if given a choice, because it's less invasive and (according to my doc) there is less chance of scarring and infection. I honestly thought it was just like getting my period. The most challenging part was taking the medication to end a pregnancy that we wanted.

Thanks everyone for your kind words. Doctor says that we could start trying again if I wanted to, no reason to wait a cycle except for more accurate dating. So we're definitely back to TTC! Hoping everyone gets good news soon!

I'm so glad the misoprostol route worked well for you and that you didn't have much pain. My early losses (which were natural and around six weeks) were like getting a period as well. No real pain. I did opt for a D&C with my last loss because the baby measured 9+1 and I was 11+6. Doc said the medicine induced m/c at that gestation would be painful. DH didn't want me to have to deal with it since I was already so wrecked from finding out there was no longer a HB. I'd definitely have tried the medicine if I had been earlier as well.

My docs have always said "wait one cycle" and rebel that I am, I haven't. I temp and use OPKs so I've always been able to give them a faked out LMP based on O date to get the correct due date. I've also had early dating scans that have mostly lined up with my dates.

Here's to hoping you get a BFP soon!

 

[Huff26]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Hello ladies

Wondering if anyone is still on these threads anymore? I was hoping to pick some of your brains- especially amc80 if you are still around.

My DS1 G is almost two and DS2 A is now 6 months and the other day we started car shopping. As I am sure many of you know, when you have two carseats with two under two, space runs out quick. Well this lead to the discussion of whether or not we wanted to try for a third( something about captain seats and third rows) - needless to say it was a mic drop and my mind has been racing ever since.

I am welcoming and begging anyone to talk to me about their experience with bringing in a third or stopping at two. Our two boys are about 17 months apart and I would want a similar age gap with this one if we should decide to go that route.

But tell me... am I crazy? Does three make it too hectic? Does it really cause middle child syndrome? Is there more love to go around? Do you feel like you are able to do less with three?

Welcoming input because we are only in the beginning stages of thinking on it.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

Just thought I'd post since it's been quiet around here. I've been pretty vocal about stopping at two, but my husband has always been open to having three and several of my friends have had their third (or more), so I love to chat them up about their experiences.

I will say that ALL of my friends who have been on the fence about a third have gone for #3. And obviously could never imagine their life without the third (even the ones who didn't mean to have a third)

These are the most common POSITIVE themes I hear from my friends who have 3:
--the more kids, the more love. There is always more to go around.
--by kid #3, the first-born is usually old enough to be somewhat independent (age 5+). If you do have your second and third 17 months apart (like you did with #1 and #2), then obviously your oldest will only be 3 when the third is born. Both my mother and my sister had 3 under 3 and said one of the advantages was that you're never out of baby mode, so having an infant is like second nature. And at that age they all still nap, so there is some downtime during the day. On the other hand, if you did wait for your first to be older, there are advantages of that, too. At 5, they can actually be pretty helpful.
--forces you to "let go" a little, which can be a good thing! Being a Type-A person myself, I do have several Type-A friends and they have all told me that at 3, they've stopped trying to be "super mom" and as a result, are able to enjoy it more and have more fun.

These are the most common NEGATIVE themes I hear from my friends who have 3:
--Expenses. Most of the moms I know work, so it's an extra few years of daycare. My non-working moms send their kids to private preschool (and one is keeper her kids in private after kindergarten), so that's an expense, too.
--Space. Siblings can always share a room, but my friends often talk about how much "stuff" comes with 3 kids. Every phase (baby, toddler, kid) comes with its own set of toys and they're always all out.
--Vehicles, which sort of falls under the first two. My friends have all said they either need a minivan or an SUV with a third row seat. So they have to buy a bigger car, which is another expense.
--Logistics. It's impossible for each of them to be doing their own thing. Most of my friends with 3 are still in the baby phase right now, so they just take the infant with them when we're at dance or swimming or whatever the older kid is doing, but once they're all in their own activities, you can't divide and conquer without enlisting some help.
--Travel. Flying anywhere for a family vacation is just so expensive. And things like amusement parks, family passes to museums, etc. all seem to be built for a family of 4.
--General chaos. My friends with 3 say their house is just never really clean. The laundry starts to become unmanageable. You're never really alone since somebody has at least 1 kid with them at all times. And many don't want to dump all 3 kids on their parents or in-laws for date nights, so those become less frequent. One of my friends recently told me that in the winter, at least one of them is sick at all times. All of these things lead to the "let it go" mentality, I think.

Reasons why I am stopping at two:
--I'm too naturally uptight. I vacuum every day, I do laundry every day, everything is cleaned, organized and Febreezed before I go to bed at night and before I leave for work in the morning (coming home to a mess stresses me out). I'm easily overwhelmed, so the thought of just giving into the chaos is too much for me. Also, schedules. I am very scheduled with naps and bedtimes and that was very tough when I had a toddler and an infant who was on a 3-nap/day schedule, so I would have a very limited window of time to run errands and get the baby back in her crib for a nap. it would be impossible now with all the activities we have and I know myself well enough that I could never just say "eh, she'll sleep in her car seat" and not be stressed out.
--I can't balance. I need one-on-one time with my husband, ideally out of the house without the kids. We have scheduled a date lunch on Thursdays, ballroom dancing on Fridays and a date night on Saturdays. That's already tough because we work full-time, so the time we have together is precious and the time we have with the kids is precious, so I just don't feel like we can realistically spread ourselves any thinner.
--Logistics of activities. Currently on Saturdays we divide and conquer. DH takes one kid to dance and cello, I take the other to swimming and dance. Then we reconvene for lunch and I stay home for the younger one's nap while he takes the other to piano. We've started moving some activities to weeknights now that the girls are a little older and there is more flexibility in our schedule, but even now we've had to cut out a couple of activities because we simply can't fit them in reasonably. Adding a third to this mix would be impossible without significantly cutting activities and they are both already only sticking to the activities they really love and don't want to cut out. Either that or we'd have to hire a nanny or enlist help in getting one of the kids to/from activities.
--The space issue. We would need a bigger vehicle. And while we have a 4-bedroom house, the layout is not great, so I'd either want to renovate to make the space more practical or buy a different house.
--Costs. Honestly, the costs just keep going up for us. Full time daycare is expensive enough, but now we have full-time daycare + preschool + summer camps and keeping all those costs for an additional few years is not appealing.
--I'm too far past the baby stage! For me, life has gotten SO MUCH EASIER over the past year (mine are turning 5 and 3 this month). The 5-year-old gets herself ready for school. She understands and employs reason! (my 3-year-old, not so much). My 5-year-old also no longer needs a nap and can use the toilet not just to go potty, but even to vomit if she's sick! These are big milestones. I haven't used my diaper bag in months! I rarely have to pick up toys because they do it themselves! I will occasionally hear the toilet flush in the middle of the night, but they aren't waking me up to help them. They go to bed, they stay there, they show up at my bedroom door at 7am when their wakeup light turns on (and I get a huge smile and a "GOOD MORNING, MOMMY!!"--no crying!). We can do things like go skiing over the weekend and it's truly fun. The thought of going back to the baby phase feels like a big setback for me right now.

No matter what, you always find a way to make it work and I always say that if the thought is there, it will probably grow with time. So it's good to explore it before making any decisions about being done. Sorry for my long post, but it's something I thought about A TON even though I've always felt we were two and through!

 

[Tekate]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

I stopped at two. 2 boys. They are adults (sort of) now. I always always always wanted a daughter. I always thought I'd have a daughter. So after my 2nd son (4 years apart). I thought long, hard about having a third. My mom told me I had a pathological desire for a daughter. I thought about expenses... cars... my husband was thrilled with one I had my 2nd son at 39, he took 2 years to conceive (vs #1 who was on our first try).. I really did a lot of thinking, soul searching etc. I felt complete, our family of 4 but this daughter thing was really important to me.. till one day I realized that I wanted a 'daughter' not a child to complete my family, it was a quest more than I wanted a 3rd child (I was a paranoid schizoid mother and I saw strep on every corner etc ) I finally came to the conclusion; I am complete as a mother, I just want a daughter, I didn't want another child to complete my family.. I was aimed and had a goal of the GIRL.. it was then I realized 1) I might have a 3rd boy and 2) I was complete. I've never felt that there was something missing our lives, I feel complete.. So when we talk about things like this I always say to the person asking: Do you feel your family is complete? or do you feel like someone is missing.. not a girl/and or /boy, but you family, that 3rd child will make your family complete. It's really about love.

 

[Laila619]

Re: The Official TTC Thread!

I think it's about if your family feels complete to you at two or do you feel like someone is missing? When I had my two (a boy and a girl), everyone assumed we were done since we had one of each. But DH and I knew we wanted at least one more. We have four kids now, and are expecting our fifth and last baby. We are definitely done now! If you want a third, I think you should go for it.