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The Official TTC Thread!

Hey gals! Just wanted to give an update. I just started spotting about 2 minutes ago. Also, my temp dippped to the coverline this morning. This sucks, but I guess that I should be grateful that my body is expelling the "products of conception" so that I can get on with this process. I'm still grieving for my baby though. It really did feel like a baby, at least the closest thing I ever had to one. I asked DH if he felt like our baby had died, and he said that he felt like it just never woke up. We did comb through medical textbooks last night and one useful piece of information I found was that the earlier a miscarriage occurs, the more likely it is due to chromosomal abnormalities in the fetus vs. issues with the mother. This was reassuring to me because that means that there's a good chance that it was random. However, I still worry that there was some type of early post-implantation issue with my body. I guess that I'll never know.

Now I begin the process of telling several people who never knew I was pregnant that I had a miscarriage. I will just tell a few people at first and then see how I feel after that.

Thanks so much to absolutely everyone, especially my core girlies (Fisher, Blushing, Pandora, InLuv, Festy, Dreamer, LittleLysser, Sunkist, Ebree, November--and a bunch more that I'm sure I'm forgetting now). And Robbie, thanks so much for your description of what you went through after your miscarriage. I think that my grieving process will be very similar.
 
Okay, now lots and lots of blood.
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So sorry peonygirl
 
Blushing and InLuv: DPO5 for me too! Still having high temps and like Blushing DH and I timed our BD really well (though we''ve pretty much always gotten this much right). I''m trying not to get my hopes up, but I''m definitely preoccupied more this cycle. Can''t wait until you gals test. Because of my early spotting, I generally know if I''m out around DPO7-9 . . . we shall see.

thanks for everyone''s well wishes!!!

fisher: i''m so utterly jealous of your Monday - my Monday is ridiculously hectic as I''m at work and there are all sorts of last minute rushes...though after today, i''m on vacation
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Peony {{{{{ HUGS }}}}}
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Another update: my hCG level is 4, as suspected. I''m sticking around here and am really hoping that someone else gets KTFU this cycle!!!
 
Date: 12/22/2008 2:36:50 PM
Author: lovelylulu
Blushing and InLuv: DPO5 for me too! Still having high temps and like Blushing DH and I timed our BD really well (though we''ve pretty much always gotten this much right). I''m trying not to get my hopes up, but I''m definitely preoccupied more this cycle. Can''t wait until you gals test. Because of my early spotting, I generally know if I''m out around DPO7-9 . . . we shall see.

thanks for everyone''s well wishes!!!

fisher: i''m so utterly jealous of your Monday - my Monday is ridiculously hectic as I''m at work and there are all sorts of last minute rushes...though after today, i''m on vacation
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Lovely - my monitor matched up perfectly with my O-date too. This is my 3rd cycle using it and it always matches so, that''s a good thing. What''s weird was last cycle I had about 6 or 7 highs and the it went straight to the peak days. This cycle I had 1 high and then my peak days. I''ll never figure my body out!
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I''m so sorry, Peony
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So sorry Peony, I was holding out hope for you. Big hugs. Take care of yourself.
 
oh crap Peony. I''m so sorry
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I know that with me, I went through the sadness and anger stage...but interestingly, the emotion that was the most prevalent was the feeling of ''frustration'' at having to START ALL OVER!!!

Let yourself go through the gamut.
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I agree that it is much like the grieving process. There were good days and bad.

Hang in there. Hopefully the holiday season will brighten your spirits a little and being around family and friends will be comforting.
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Sending you lots of love...
 
peony, I am so sorry.
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Hugs.
 

Mela, I am totally frustrated about having to start at square 1 too!!! But I think that I would be in the exact same boat if I had gotten a BFN.


Also, DH and I have decided not see the RE, mostly for financial reasons. I told the first person IRL about my miscarriage (the SUPER sweet girl I mentioned earlier who is due in 2 weeks) and she is pretty sure that the particular RE I''m going to will make us have an HSG and a semen analysis even though I''ve already been pregnant. It sounds crazy, but I guess that they must follow a specific protocol (she had also been pregnant previously and they had her do it, but it was covered by her insurance).


Together with the visit, those would be $2,000 and we can''t really afford that right now. I mean, if it was completely necessary we would find a way to make it happen, but I don''t believe it''s necessary. When the other doctor called to report my hCG value of 4 to me I asked him if my miscarriage could be caused by my super late ovulation, and he said no. So I feel a little better.


This next cycle will be all natural (well, except for the temping, OPKs, CM analysis, lots of water, checking in with PS, hoping, praying, and wishing!). I may also ask for another progesterone test this time to confirm my ovulation just in case. I will also get some bloodwork done to check hormonal stuff at the beginning of my next regular cycle, assuming I don''t get a BFP this cycle.

 
Peony I''m so sorry honey! I think your decision not to see the RE is a good one. Although this is a crappy way to find out, because you got KTFU within a relatively short time (i.e., within the normal range) you basically know that a) the swimmers are probably fine b) your tubes are open c) you ovulate d) your can support implantation, and on and on. These are the first things they would test for anyways. Most likely, it was a chromosomal issue with this first little bambino
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, and there is simply nothing we can do about that! Nature is a strange and unpredictable creature. Like Mela said, I imagine it is terribly annoying to feel like it is square one, but there are so many times in life when things don''t go the way we want. We just have to have faith that we will reach the place we want to be eventually, it will just be by a different route that we originally planned! {{{HUGS}}} Try to enjoy your holidays as much as you can!
 
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I''m so sorry Peony. I''m praying that the next cycle is yours. I think you and DD are right that you are fine as far as being able to conceive and it was just a chromosonal mishap. The way I see it,at least you know there is a baby waiting to come to you and I know he''ll find a way to do it! Thinking of you still.

Lulu, I''m right there with you on the hectic Monday! Last day of work before I head out of town and I''ve got the biggest head ache
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Now I have to pack and hope that the roads aren''t closed tomorrow :)

If I don''t post again tonight I hope you all have a lovely time celebrating the holidays with your family and friends!~
 
Thanks Dreamer! I know that you are absolutely right. If you're being technical we actually got KTFU on our 3rd try (same as you, right?) even though it was closer to 4-5 months. During the 3 days I was pregnant (ha!) I went on the pregnancy board a bit and saw that you got some interviews!!! That is fantastic. I know that things are crazy hard this year with academic jobs, so I am very happy for you. I'm not sure if you ever mentioned it, but what's your main research focus? Are you applying for jobs in the US and Canada? I think you mentioned that you're in Canada.

I have also realized over the past day that I need to trust the data I get from charting/testing and stop second guessing it. Some examples:
1) Every time I had a temp drop after ovulation (besides an implantation dip), it meant my period was coming within a day or two.
2) Every time I got a positive ovulation test, I had my period w/in 12-14 days and 3/4 times it was followed by a very clear temp rise.
3) All of my pregnancy tests were accurate in the sense that they measured at about the level of hCG they claimed (except those early-pregnancy-test ones--I won't use those again).
4) Even though I only have one data point (this month), when my temps rose I did ovulate with a sufficient progesterone level.

I also want to test once every cycle at 12DPO with a FRER, because even though I hate testing I'd rather know whether I have another chemical pregnancy for informational reasons. With this one my period was only a day late, and if I hadn't tested I might have never known.

Blushing, Festy, Fisher, InLuv, and Lovely. WOW, we've got a lot of ladies testing soon!!! I will admit something. When I first started on this thread and I didn't really "know" anyone that well, every time someone got a BFP I was jealous and sad (if they could do it, why couldn't I?) and I had some trouble being truly happy for people. But since I have been more of an active member of this board in the last 2-3 months and I have gotten to know all of you a lot better, I feel much more invested in your success and very, very much want all of you to be mommies as soon as possible! I am hoping bigtime that at least one of you gets KTFU this cycle with a sticky bean!

Sha, I don't think that those things necessarily mean PCOS. A lot of women get a little acne around their period, and if you google pics of facial hair and PCOS it's a LOT more than a few dark hairs here and there. I'm happy for you that you're trying Clomid since that's what you wanted though, and I hope that it gives you good results!! About the 28-day cycles, it seems like the average is longer, at least around here. A lot of women do have 28-day cycles, but it doesn't seem like there are enough 20-24-day cyclers to balance out those of us with much longer ones. But maybe the 28-day cycle average only includes those with ovulatory cycles? I don't know. So much in medicine is honestly just a guess since we don't have good studies on a lot of stuff (not talking about the 28-day cycle thing, but fertility stuff in general)! As someone who wants to be a dr. one day, it's driving me NUTS that we're getting so much conflicting info!! I'm sure that your dr. would have me on Clomid with my 40-50 day cycles.

November, that's a funny story about your friend! How great for her that she might be pregnant after leukemia, wow!

Thanks so much Sunkist! You're a sweetie!
 
Good morning everyone,

Peony, it''s sounds like you have a really good attitude. I''m sure you are feeling the loss quite profoundly but it''s great that you can still objectively look at all the data you''ve collected and conclude that you''re in very good shape! Thank you so much for the well wishes. I needs ''em!

November - your story about your friend''s husband made me laugh out loud! All I could picture was a man DTD with his face all scrunched up in concentration because he was "trying" so hard. Ha! (Having seen that look on DH''s face once in a while, I''m here to tell you that "trying" on the man''s part does not work!)

Sha - here''s hoping that the symptoms you''re experiencing are normal PMS stuff. This PCOS seems to have such an elusive set of symptoms. Like Peony said, it seems like a lot of people here have cycles that are slightly longer than 28 days. Mine are right around 28, for whatever that''s worth. You could do a search on FF for charts with long cycles and see what you find...

Fisher, Blushing, Lysser, Lulu, InLuv, Ebree, I really hope we get some BFPs soon!

******************

9 DPO for me. My MIL arrives today, it''s two days til Christmas and I still have shopping to do! You''d think this would keep me from counting the minutes until AF is due! Oh but it''s not...
 
Peony - your post is very uplifting. I believe the expression is ''knowledge is power''...and you, my dear, are very powerful
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I too hope lots of you get your BFP''s soon.
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Like Peony, I really want to see all your dreams come true
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Merry Christmas and Happy Holiday''s Girls!!! I''ll away for 2 weeks in Mexico - so I''ll see you when I get back. Hopefully, to some baby dust being sprinkled
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Bye!
 
Date: 12/22/2008 11:07:14 PM
Author: peonygirl
Thanks Dreamer! I know that you are absolutely right. If you''re being technical we actually got KTFU on our 3rd try (same as you, right?) even though it was closer to 4-5 months. During the 3 days I was pregnant (ha!) I went on the pregnancy board a bit and saw that you got some interviews!!! That is fantastic. I know that things are crazy hard this year with academic jobs, so I am very happy for you. I''m not sure if you ever mentioned it, but what''s your main research focus? Are you applying for jobs in the US and Canada? I think you mentioned that you''re in Canada.
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Well, then, that is very fast! And yup, it was the same for us. Felt like an eternity at the time, but of course in retrospect I know it was relatively quick. As for jobs, they are all in Canada, which is my preference. This year I didn''t apply in the US since I have another year of research funding and it isn''t preferable to move to the US so soon after our baby being born etc. I actually have interviews at all the schools in Canada that have jobs in my field! (non-clinical/research psychology), so that is really nice.
 
Peony, I am so glad to see that you have such a positive outlook on this experience. I am so sorry for what you are going through right now and it''s great to see how you and your DH support one another. You seem like a realy great couple and based on what you have written here I know you will both be wonderful parents one day soon!
 
Date: 12/22/2008 11:07:14 PM
Author: peonygirl
Thanks Dreamer! I know that you are absolutely right. If you''re being technical we actually got KTFU on our 3rd try (same as you, right?) even though it was closer to 4-5 months. During the 3 days I was pregnant (ha!) I went on the pregnancy board a bit and saw that you got some interviews!!! That is fantastic. I know that things are crazy hard this year with academic jobs, so I am very happy for you. I''m not sure if you ever mentioned it, but what''s your main research focus? Are you applying for jobs in the US and Canada? I think you mentioned that you''re in Canada.

I have also realized over the past day that I need to trust the data I get from charting/testing and stop second guessing it. Some examples:
1) Every time I had a temp drop after ovulation (besides an implantation dip), it meant my period was coming within a day or two.
2) Every time I got a positive ovulation test, I had my period w/in 12-14 days and 3/4 times it was followed by a very clear temp rise.
3) All of my pregnancy tests were accurate in the sense that they measured at about the level of hCG they claimed (except those early-pregnancy-test ones--I won''t use those again).
4) Even though I only have one data point (this month), when my temps rose I did ovulate with a sufficient progesterone level.

I also want to test once every cycle at 12DPO with a FRER, because even though I hate testing I''d rather know whether I have another chemical pregnancy for informational reasons. With this one my period was only a day late, and if I hadn''t tested I might have never known.

Blushing, Festy, Fisher, InLuv, and Lovely. WOW, we''ve got a lot of ladies testing soon!!! I will admit something. When I first started on this thread and I didn''t really ''know'' anyone that well, every time someone got a BFP I was jealous and sad (if they could do it, why couldn''t I?) and I had some trouble being truly happy for people. But since I have been more of an active member of this board in the last 2-3 months and I have gotten to know all of you a lot better, I feel much more invested in your success and very, very much want all of you to be mommies as soon as possible! I am hoping bigtime that at least one of you gets KTFU this cycle with a sticky bean!

Sha, I don''t think that those things necessarily mean PCOS. A lot of women get a little acne around their period, and if you google pics of facial hair and PCOS it''s a LOT more than a few dark hairs here and there. I''m happy for you that you''re trying Clomid since that''s what you wanted though, and I hope that it gives you good results!! About the 28-day cycles, it seems like the average is longer, at least around here. A lot of women do have 28-day cycles, but it doesn''t seem like there are enough 20-24-day cyclers to balance out those of us with much longer ones. But maybe the 28-day cycle average only includes those with ovulatory cycles? I don''t know. So much in medicine is honestly just a guess since we don''t have good studies on a lot of stuff (not talking about the 28-day cycle thing, but fertility stuff in general)! As someone who wants to be a dr. one day, it''s driving me NUTS that we''re getting so much conflicting info!! I''m sure that your dr. would have me on Clomid with my 40-50 day cycles.

November, that''s a funny story about your friend! How great for her that she might be pregnant after leukemia, wow!

Thanks so much Sunkist! You''re a sweetie!
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You are such a sweetheart Peony!!!
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Believe me, I feel the same way towards you and hope that your sticky bean comes soon as well!
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We''ve got a great little group here - I love it! Happy Holidays ladies!!!
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Merry Christmas Eve, Eve to everyone (yes, I''m a nut. My family celebrates the eve of Christmas Eve. Paul shakes his head and rolls his eyes when I say this loving greeting to him. Needless to say, "our" family--meaning he and I--doesn''t celebrate. Hmph!!).

So, I have to confess that yesterday (12DPO) in a fit of hope that maybe I was going to have a Christmas miracle of my own, I tested.

It was not positive. Poop head pee stick!! (Yes, mature. And that is what I said, outloud even).

Still, the "baby" has a present under the tree for his/her daddy and the "baby" has a present under the tree from us, too. We found a cute wooden box that looks like a ABC block that can be used for storage and it''s so cute! I''m going to paint it to match the baby''s room (you know, once I''m pregnant and allowed to decorate without being a freak show). I also got the baby a cute little train set that I''m going to paint (it''s for looks). That I''m allowed to paint before we''re pregnant. I may wait, though. Who knows.

Anyway, if I really did ovulate this cycle and I''m really not pregnant, then I should be starting CD1 on Christmas day. Kind of sad, but also a new beginning, which is the whole meaning of Christmas, after all. Seems fitting. I''ll have my new beginning or a miracle (both of which Christmas is!!), either way it turns out.

Peony,

I''m sorry, girl. Still, in times of sadness (and I won''t pretend to imagine what you may be feeling right now, but I do know the deep desire for a child, and the longing for such), we do have hope. And I see that you''re feeling that, mixed with the other emotions, as well. Do me a favor and tell your husband how much the women of this board respect him for the selflessness he''s shown in being a rock for you right now. It''s to be admired, and heck, I think when a man is deserving of praise, it should be given.

I understand the twinge of not really jealousy, but just the pinch in your heart when you find out that someone else is pregnant, all the while, you are not. I can''t tell you how excited I get when one of *us* (meaning the members of this thread) gets pregnant. True elation. Not any sadness or jealousy. However, when I get to thinking about my brother-in-law''s girlfriend (who is a precious gem of a girl) possibly marrying my brother-in-law and becoming pregnant before me and Paul get there, man, I have to say that I get really jealous. Totally irrational and not fair at all. She''s a good bit older than me (by three years) and it''s wrong of me to think the way I do. Although it''s not been discussed (they''re not even engaged yet), I imagine that by the time they marry, they will not wait long before they begin trying for a baby. I don''t want to feel the way I do, but that''s one situation where I really do get that jealous bug when I think about something like that happening. Shameful. I shouldn''t feel that way. I don''t want to. It makes me feel like a bad person. Like I don''t want blessings to befall them. It''s awful. I can''t explain why I feel this way, though. Paul doesn''t like for me to talk about it, and thinks I''m acting like a little girl in that regard. Maybe I am. Let''s just say I''ll love any niece or nephew I may one day have, and I''ll be thankful for them being blessed with a baby. (But I want to be a mother, too!!) Selfish moment ending now.

I''m getting very excited about Christmas secrets. I think Paul is trying to get me confused. He said there is something too big to wrap and that my nosy butt wouldn''t keep out of things, so he has it hidden at another person''s house. After much prodding, he said it''s in a box about 2-3 feet tall, and about 16 inches in width. I''m stumped, and in case he has hidden it around the house, I''ve been doing lots of extra cleaning lately!!
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I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas!! We''ll be flying to see my family on Christmas and coming back on New Year''s, so if I''m not around much, that''s why. My parents have dial up and it takes EONS to get online. Plus, there are babies there to love on (okay, ages 13-6, but they''re my babies, none the less).

Wishes of much joy and happy pregnancies to come, ladies!!!!
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Thanks for the encouragement, peony and Festy. I''m hoping I really don''t have it (PCOS) as well. I go in for bloodwork tomorrow (CD3), so I guess the results will give me a clearer picture of what''s going on. Yeah, I do believe that there''re a lot of women who''s cycles are longer than average. I don''t believe I''m that abnormal.
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Thanks for sharing.

Peony, will you be considering Clomid for your next cycle or no? I know you said you would be going all natural next time, but I remember you were thinking about the Clomid a few weeks ago as well.
 
Date: 12/23/2008 5:28:29 PM
Author: fisherofmengirly

I''m getting very excited about Christmas secrets. I think Paul is trying to get me confused. He said there is something too big to wrap and that my nosy butt wouldn''t keep out of things, so he has it hidden at another person''s house. After much prodding, he said it''s in a box about 2-3 feet tall, and about 16 inches in width. I''m stumped, and in case he has hidden it around the house, I''ve been doing lots of extra cleaning lately!!
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I hope it''s a diamond!
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Peony - I am so sorry for your loss. You are a strong woman and you can and will get through this. You will be in my thoughts and prayers this holiday season.
 
Haha, DD. That would be something, wouldn''t it???
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***
Sha, hope your Dr. visit brings clarity. Good wishes to you!

***
14DPO here. No signs of cramping. No temp drop (holding steady at 98.39 for the past three days). Confusion. At this point, I just really, really hope I did in fact ovulate and that the end of this cycle is near. On a good note, I won''t have to worry about missing the BD window while we''re visiting family.
 
Date: 12/24/2008 9:17:07 AM
Author: fisherofmengirly
Haha, DD. That would be something, wouldn''t it???
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***
Sha, hope your Dr. visit brings clarity. Good wishes to you!

***
14DPO here. No signs of cramping. No temp drop (holding steady at 98.39 for the past three days). Confusion. At this point, I just really, really hope I did in fact ovulate and that the end of this cycle is near. On a good note, I won''t have to worry about missing the BD window while we''re visiting family.
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Fisher can you post your chart? I seem to recall the bi-phasic pattern being pretty clear but it would be nice to see it again.

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Merry Christmas!
 
Merry Christmas Eve everyone! I hope everyone is doing well.

So, um, a few days ago I started having some light spotting and my CM was tinged. This went on for about four days. I woke up this morning and all the tinge was gone.

So,I took a test today this afternoon and I, um, it is a BFP. I can''t post a pic because my folks don''t have a digi, but for 11 or 12 DPO it is really dark. It turned pink pretty much as soon as the urine made its way up the stick. Much darker than it was when I had the mc. Of course, I took a digi as well, just because I''m a nutter...and it came up prego too.

Guys, I''m in shock. I didn''t temp this month. Barely even monitored my CM. I know this may be an overshare, but after the last months of trying overload and heartache, we really took a break this month. We had sex twice during the entire month - and once was right after AFF left the building. After that I was just wicked sick with with a wicked wicked head cold and we had guests pretty much non stop. So yeah. We dtd on CD 12, and I normally O around CD 17.

Wow.

I don''t want any big congratulations or anything like that...but I''d really appreciate some healthy sticky vibes.

We aren''t telling anyone IRL other than my family and a few close friends...one of whom we were planning on having a good time with on NYE.

But I wanted to let my TTC ladies know.

This is so surreal.
 
Hey guys, long time no see.
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Hope you can forgive me yet another TTC break, I've been staying away from all things baby/pregnancy and TTC- which is HARD! Even Weddingbee has secret baby things going on behind the scenes, which KILLS ME.

Peony, I'm so sorry for your loss, and even sorrier I wasn't around to help you enjoy those few days you were so excited. Still, onward and upward for you, my dear, I wish a super quick knock up when the time comes.

I'm sorry if I miss anyone else directly, I just want you all to know that I'm keeping my fingers crossed and hoping to God one of you (us) at least gets a BFP before year's end, and then consecutive BFPs following that.

I've been okay, sick then depressed then sick again with a smattering of depression in there to make things fun. I've been buying presents for babies (not ours) and sending cards, finding weird penis patterns somehow washed into my jeans (for real, it's WEIRD), and avoiding cooking for Paul. Not for any reason- I'm just lazy. I'm preparing for the next few days to be overwhelmed with children and food, presents and love, and drinks galore. I'm o'ing today (the pain is bothersome), but due to my incredibly attractive sickness, and this too busy for words schedule we've had lately, we weren't able to get one in under the 2008 umbrella. Oh well. 'Til next year, I suppose.
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I hope all the testers get BFPs and all they wished for for Hanukkah (sp?) and Christmas.

ETA: LL: STICK STICK STICK. OH PLEASE, if there is anyone up above, let your little baby STICK.
 
LL, how wonderful! I''m not only hoping for sticky, I''m hoping for super glue strength stickiness!

How exciting! Thinking wonderful thoughts for you, sweetie!!!

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DD, here''s my chart. Still think it''s clearly ovulatory? Oh how I hope!!!

Merry Christmas Eve!!
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LL -- congratulations. I am sending lots and lots of good wishes your way. Sticky vibes!
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