The *real* wait is about to begin...

[sk8rjen]

Darn, Fishie, I was hoping the beach would be it. Sheesh, I hope you two make it a point to go back!!! I can''t find the extra smilies. I''m not exactly a computer genius though. Hmmm.. gotta keep looking.

So I''ve decided to make plans for tonight. No more me asking him "so what do you want to do tonight?" questions. We''re going to the gym and to a movie unless he says otherwise. A friend of mine ran in to Matt the other day and they chatted about the proposal...he told her it should''ve happened already, but he wants it to be a SURPRISE and I just won''t let it be that. She told him I was an "information" person and that I am the type that just needs to be in the loop. Boy did he ever agree with her! So I''m really going to back off now, even though I am actually at a point where I am frustrated as well as excited. I figure if I make the plans for the next couple of times we go out instead of badgering him, he can relax a bit.

I didn''t mention that when we came home saturday, I got on the computer and was in "sad" mode, and we''d talked about how we act engaged, live together and are already planning the wedding (and even set a date! April 11, 2007!), so the engagement is really a technicality. Anyway, I was sitting here at the desk in our room and he got down on one knee with the box in his hand and was like "well, if this is just a technicality, then let''s just do this." and I was like "no baby, not like this, please not while I''m upset." He was just making a point, but the last thing I would ever want is for him to do it b/c I''m upset!!! Anyway, it was an eyeopener. I''m going to take fishie''s vow of silence and TRY not to even mention it or hint at it or anything, and let''s see where that gets me

Fancy -- yes, I am officially crazy now

I hope you don''t have to deal with a ring on a shelf in front of your face!

jen

 

[Mandarine]

Jen you''re so close!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I can''t wait to hear your story and Fisher''s!!!

M~

 

[Fancy605]

I can imagine it would be a little hard waiting on that one "technicallity"--that''s sort of what I am doing at present. But, hey, if he agreed to a date then at least you KNOW it''s coming. I know lots of girls who are waiting desprately for their guys to propose who are on pins and needles as to whether they will actually get that wish. Poor lil things, right? Yours is coming soon though! YAY!

I don''t know how he can bear to wait to give it to you.

 

[sk8rjen]

That''s gotta be tough on those girls. I could never be in a relationship if I didn''t know exactly where it was headed and when. I talk openly about tough subjects, and sometimes it bites me in the arse.

Well, day one of no engagement/ring/"when" talk, and I did fine -- I think. I''m not sure if it totally counts though, since I DID talk about my friend complaining about HER lack of proposal (she''s the one who''s boyfriend I am helping find a ring!). But I didn''t relate it in any way to us and didn''t make any sounds/remarks/faces that could be taken to mean that. I had a plan for the evening and we went with it, and all was fine. It should get easier from here, right? I could sense he was surprised at one point when he asked me what I was thinking about, and I said "(my student)''s skating program"!

jen

 

[fisherofmengirly]

How are things going on the waiting, Sk8r? Any hints? Gosh, I hope it''s this weekend for you. For both of us. Heck, for one of us!! Hee hee.

Are you going nuts yet? I''m doing okay, because I''m like, he *better* do it soon, since he said he had something *excellent* planned once we got back from being in Cali. We''re back; it''s time!

 

[sk8rjen]

Well, after my last post, we ended up getting into a bit of a tiff, if you want to call it that, tuesday night (last week). It really was a downer b/c I was trying to be optimistic and then I just let my head (hormones?) get the best of me. I just got really emotional about everything, and it was provoked by something I read on here. I hate to admit not remembering who it was, but it was about the "once a day" doing something nice for the other. It dawned on me that I think he takes a lot of what I do for him and for us for granted. I called him on it, and even though it started as a nice discussion, he felt attacked and it turned into more.

The good news is that since then, everything has been better than it was before. It reminds me of the hyper-lovey-dovey period right before my birthday trip. Not trying to read anything into it this time though!

Sunday night I mentioned that we need to ship the ring back on Monday. TOTALLY caught him off guard. He asked right away if it would be back by the weekend (before he thought about what he was asking I guess!) and I told him that it *should* be, unless we have another delivery issue with fedex like last time. OR if the jewelers are just too backed up from being out of town for 3 weeks! I told him I''d call the jeweler Monday and see what to do. I didn''t and I also just couldn''t bear to send it back yet- -- I SO want to wear it before it gets fixed. BUT I definitely will send it back Monday if it''s not on my hand by then. If it IS, well, I''ll have to wear it for a few days first!

I haven''t asked him outright if we have plans for sat night, but i did ask him if we were going to the hot springs (something we''ve talked about doing one of these weekends) and instead of his typical "I don''t know" or "it doesn''t matter" or "what do you want to do?" answers, he just told me that''s not what we are doing. Does that mean he has a plan?? He''s hard to read, but I''m guessing it''s probable, although I don''t know yet if it''s for our night out saturday or the july birthday party sunday. My nails look great and I''m going to buy a new outfit just in case

Let''s hope for more than one engagement this weekend!
jen

 

[aljdewey]

I''m offering this in the most well-intentioned way......with no malice at all.

Do yourself a favor and stop fixating on the proposal/ring. You have a guy that wants to ask you.....a guy who would have ALREADY asked you if you''d given him half a second''s opportunity to do it his way. That''s a LOT to have. You, at least, already know that he wants to marry you. That''s miles ahead of girls who don''t even have the assurance that a proposal is ever forthcoming.

Please don''t let your impatience spoil this moment for him or for you. It''s a big thing for a man to propose, and it''s just as important to him as it is to you. You love this man, so find it in your heart to be mindful of his feelings too, and give him the opportunity to feel like he CAN pull off the surprise he so desperately wants.

As you mentioned, the ring is just a technicality at this point......so a day or two more here or there won''t change anything. It could, though, make all the difference in how HE recalls your proposal through the years to come.

You have a great opportunity to *enjoy* the anticipation of how and when he''ll ask. Make the most of it; it''s done and over too soon.

Good luck to you!

 

[fisherofmengirly]

Aww. You got a new outfit. That''s precious. Gosh, I want us both engaged! Now would be nice!!

Keep on keeping on!! *I''m sort of enjoying the expectation, actually.* It''s fun and I like dreaming up things and wondering and trying to be sneaky. It''s a blast. But, being engaged to the boy I love will be better, I''m sure. Still, at least I can *sort of* appreciate this stage. Most the time.

Do your boys know it''s coming? How do they react to it?

 

[Fancy605]

Awee! A new outfit! How fun! What is it like?

 

[fisherofmengirly]

What happened to make you sure it''s not coming this weekend, girl?

 

[sk8rjen]

Alj -- thanks for your comments and suggestions. I am obviously a very impatient person who has no capacity to shut her own mouth ever.

I''ve always spoken my mind about everything, sometimes with positive results and sometimes no so. Anyway, I know where you are coming from and appreciate so much that you took the time to respond. It helps having everyone here to keep each other in check. And I do want to say this -- the argument last week wan''t engagment-related. He lacks the openess I was used to in my previous relationships and since I am a sensitive, emotional person, I have a hard time with him not saying much about me/us/our lives together etc. It''s been something we''ve addressed from the beginning, but I''m still trying to deal. That coupled with the fact he HASN''T proposed has made me an emotional basketcase. I have begun to question if he really *does* want to marry me. I definitely am my own worst enemy though. Anyway, thank you!

Fancy and Fish-- I was *going* to buy a new top to go out in, but that would have happened today and Aunt Flo just dropped by this morning and I;m in pain and going NOWHERE!

As hot as it is here, I will probably just wear some type of tank top out tomorrow. But I''m one of those who heals by shopping (when I can!)

Fisher-- It''s a long story that I don''t feel like getting into, but it was based on him telling me that it (proposal) just hasn''t felt right yet and he''s not sure what he wants right now, but he knows he wants to marry me. He said a year ago he knew exactly what he wanted and thought we''d be married by now, but now......? We love each other so much, but sometimes it''s just really hard living together. Just another bump in the road, but enough of a bump that I think we just need to have a good time together over the weekend without expectations/pressure. Evil PMS got the best of me.

Fishie-- have a great time this weekend and I hope you are feeling better!

jen

 

[fisherofmengirly]

I''m still thinking happy thoughts for you, Sk8r! I hear you on the emotional thing. I''ve been known to be the same way, from time to time.

 

[Fancy605]

Awe! I am a hyper sensitive emotional thing too. Oh well, that''s what you get for having an artistic bone in your body, right? (Skating DEF. counts as artsy).

 

[aquarius_ser]

ALJ is so right... it''s just hard when it''s YOU waiting.

I speak my mind about *EVERYTHING* as well. it''s sooo hard for me NOT to bring it up, harass him about it, envision myself going on a little scavenger hunt around the house, he-he...

If I could just put this much energy into something else... like WORKING OUT!

 

[Fancy605]

YES! Channel that energy into exercise! (oh if only!)

 

[sk8rjen]

Incidentally, I DID try channeling the energy into exercise

It''s funny that in the end all of my emotions were part of my happy day, which for me is perfectly appropriate. I got a heartfelt and sweet (and a little funny) proposal that I woudn''t trade for some extravagant planned-out version that wasn''t us!

Thanks to ALL of you so much for your caring support --- I still actually wish the wait had ended sooner but can honestly say that I am the happiest woman in the world right now!

PS got the new top, wore it to the birthday party this evening.

jen

 

[Fancy605]

Date: 7/23/2006 11:43:24 PM
Author: sk8rjen


PS got the new top, wore it to the birthday party this evening.

jen

So you got to be both engaged AND well dressed. Fabulous.

 

[fisherofmengirly]

Okay, overkill, but CONGRATS again!!! Yippeee!!

 

[fisherofmengirly]

Okay, it''s tomorrow. Where''s our pictures?