Updates, anyone?

[MBKRH]

I am really sad today

I feel like my life is stuck in this stupid limbo, not just about engagement stuff but everything, it always seems to come back to not being able to do anything really (travel, stuff to finish off our house, and of course getting engaged etc) because we don't have the spare money, and that is because my BF does not have a steady income as he works as a subcontractor, and doesn't seem to be much work around at the moment. I know he is stressed about it and doing his best but I am starting to get really resentful about it....and I swing between feeling guilty that I am taking it out on him and making him feel worse and then thinking that I have had enough of the uncertainty and instability of it all, I want to have kids in the future and think how the hell would we cope if I wasn't working? When he is working he makes greT money butis job will often be put in hold/delayed etc with no notice, ir he dies t have reliable labourers to work with him, ir theres just not much around, and no work means no pay. I don't want to struggle like that with kids and never know when income will stop!! So sometimes I think it's NOT ok and I can't just keep saying it is....but I know he is trying his best. It's just that nothing has been moving forward because of this, it's always 'when we have the money, when you have a better job....'

Also last night one of my close friends got engaged, I am very happy for her because I know she has been a LIW for a long time, but for the first time I felt really really jealous of someone else's engagement...she was just so happy bless her, I felt really sad that seems to be out of reach for us now....'untill we have more money'. So I am ashamed that I was really mean to my BF when he got home, snapped at him because he as usually wanted to stay out late with friends instead of spending any time with me, he forgot his keys and when he did eventually come home knocked on the door and woke me up to let him in, left the fly screen door open all night so mosquitoes came in and attacked me while I was trying to sleep, wouldn't wake up in the morning so ended up being late for work....stupid things like that but they drive you crrazzzyyyy!!! Honestly I was really mean to him and could tell he was upset about it, it was just a build up of frustration that everything is on hold and has been for what feels like forever. I probably sound like a spoilt brat expecting him to be paying for things which is not true at all. I'm just getting tired of waiting around for life to work out.

Philly, I know exactly how you feel. Financially, we're not doing well. Like your BF, M doesn't have a steady income, either (car salesman). At the low end, he can expect $200/wk (not selling anything) - $800 (more or less, commission dependent). We don't want kids, so it's always a matter of providing for ourselves. But I can see your concern about your future children. That is certainly a scary thought with an unsteady income.

I wish I could offer you some advice, but sadly- I have none. I need advice myself. The bolded part is exactly how I feel. I'm tired of choosing between gas for my car to get to work, and buying groceries (which we are now doing every 6 weeks at $100/trip. Yeah, we are hardly eating). I'm tired of watching the paralegal at my job complain non-stop (when she's making about $70K/annually, and I'm just under $29K). She owns a home, drives a Mercedes, etc..... I'll probably be renting for the rest of my life. I'll never know what it's like to own a new car. And for just once, I'd like to get out of work at my NORMAL time and not whenever I'm done finishing up HER WORK.

Sorry- I didn't mean to turn this into a ME ME ME thing. I guess like you, I'm sad today as well. And, I laugh as I sit here and type this, and realize I have to get up for work in about six hours. And you know what? I kind of don't care. I went on salary.com; did the analyzing for my job in the city I work, and realize my salary is in the bottom 10%! Not only that, the 10% is higher than what I make. So, I've been beefing up my resume. I'm so done.

Anyway- Philly, just know that you're not alone. Money is an awful thing to stress over, and combined with the LIW stress- it's like a ticking time bomb. We're all here for you- hang in there! xoxo

 

[PhillyMcGee]

Thanks MBKRH I realized that I am being a bit of a brat as we have more than a lot of people, can pay our bills, have a bit of spending money just don't seem to be able to have those 'extras' that make life better if you know what I mean, like going on holidays and being able to finish off our house, get engaged, even have decent savings in the bank. Even without more money around just the security of a regular paycheck would be amazing. I guess you never really know someone else's situation but it just seems like a lot of friends seem to have all those things and we are kind of stuck.

 

[PhillyMcGee]

I apologized to my BF for being so mean to him, I felt so bad because he was clearly really upset about it. I was just frustrated and directed it at him which was really nasty of me. I know my frustration isn't unwarranted however he is not 'doing this' by choice and is really stressed out about it and me being nasty to him is not helpin anyone, just making it worse for him I feel pretty awful....anyway there is a really good opportunity advertised that would be so great if he got it, working 'up north' (I'm in Perth Australia, so up north is out mining boom and where the big bucks are) for a six month contract. It would be hard because its a fly in/fly out role, 26 days on and 9 days off....which means he would be away for almost a month at a time but you gotta do what you gotta do, and it wouldn't be forever. The money you can make up there is worth it for the short term. So tomorrow after work I'm going to help him do his resume (I'm a graphic designer so we can make something that stands out) to apply for this job, please can I have dust, good vibes and everything crossed that he will get it.

 

[Impudent_Crumpet]

Dust to you and your man, Philly. I hope you guys are able to find something that works for both of you and makes you happy beyond your wildest dreams, in the end

 

[Chewbacca]

Dust to Mr. McGee! Doing the mining thing might be a great way to collect some ! Six months isn't too bad! My SO and I are thinking of doing ESL teaching in Korea for a year, mostly for monetary reasons.

 

[PhillyMcGee]

Hehehe last night my BF and I were talking about my friend's ring (the one who got engaged on Sunday) as she put a pic on Facebook, and I seized my opportunity to tell him about how I really like the AVC even showed him photos and videos to explain about it, told him where they come from, told him how other stones don't compare in my opinion. I don't expect he will remember all the details but I think I have made it clear enough that he is not to buy me something else! I also showed him the setting I like but he seemed less interested in that. I know the time is not right now however I just wanted to make it clear what I wanted in advance! I think I have achieved that I also told him about PS and how I am now educated about diamonds, and the poor quality overpriced rubbish widely available here is not on haha, but really he would be stupid to spend MORE money on a rubbish diamond! He might think I am a little bit crazy now but that's ok,after nearly 11 years he probably knew already.

 

[antiquesparkler]

Hi Ladies….
Sounds like I am not the only one having trouble.

Okay. I need to vent. I am having a bad month. Lol.

So and I haven’t really talked engagement for a few months and I think I am needing some sort of reassurance from him. I have been a good gf and haven’t brought it up.

For one, I have to bring our ring in soon to get the 6 month inspection (as long as I bring it in every 6 months, we get to keep the warranty on the setting). I don’t know why but it makes me super annoyed that I have to get it back from him and bring it in there, only for them to look at a ring that hasn’t been worn or touched in 6 months. Grrr. I cannot believe it’s already been set for 6 months. I am dying over here.

Second, everyone keeps bringing it up! We went to his hometown this past weekend and I met his entire extended family and everyone was dropping hints and I really had nothing to say. Then, when we get home our friends are like… “Well you got the family’s approval… what’s the hold up?!” Joking of course but… What is the hold up!?

Third, Our 2 year anniversary is in less than a month and I really was hoping….

Fourth, his sister now set a wedding date for early October which is exactly at the end of our timeline. Last October, we discussed “within a year.” Now I am really afraid that he will wait until after the wedding so that we are not stealing anyone’s thunder which I can understand. In my girl mind, I am like well then you better get going and do it so our engagement is old news by that time. I am afraid his guy mind thinks much differently.
To add fuel to this fire, I am a BM for my friend at the end of November and they will have known eachother for exactly 2 years when they get married. Did I mention I have known SO for 5 years?! Not comparing… just sad.

Sorry ladies, thanks for allowing me to vent here instead of to SO. I don’t know what I would do without you all. Hugs!

 

[audball]

I miss you ladies!

 

[MayFlowers]

audball, you should know you're always welcome here!!

 

[audball]

audball, you should know you're always welcome here!!

I know! I've been keeping tabs on you all! Things have been crazy busy and it's settling down in some ways and getting crazier in others. I just can't wait to have all of you over in BWW!

 

[lktx]

SO is currently in possession of a 2.30 J SI1 round brilliant. He says it's "very sparkly" and "cool looking."

He's going to get it appraised and, if all turns out well, he will set it and surprise me with a proposal at some point within the next six or eight months. Maybe sooner, but I'm telling myself six or eight months just in case.

 

[pandabee]

SO is currently in possession of a 2.30 J SI1 round brilliant. He says it's "very sparkly" and "cool looking."

He's going to get it appraised and, if all turns out well, he will set it and surprise me with a proposal at some point within the next six or eight months. Maybe sooner, but I'm telling myself six or eight months just in case.

yay!!!! how exciting!! Does he know what setting you want? I can't remember

 

[madelise]

SO is currently in possession of a 2.30 J SI1 round brilliant. He says it's "very sparkly" and "cool looking."

He's going to get it appraised and, if all turns out well, he will set it and surprise me with a proposal at some point within the next six or eight months. Maybe sooner, but I'm telling myself six or eight months just in case.

WHOA, that's soo awesome!!! I can't wait hear more about it, and SEE!

 

[Chewbacca]

I just stalked through your threads lktx, and it looks beautiful! Can't wait to hear setting ideas!

 

[madelise]

I just stalked through your threads lktx, and it looks beautiful! Can't wait to hear setting ideas!

Where? She had one thread with an old cut for her brother? And another one with just plots. I wanna see!!!!

 

[pandabee]

I just stalked through your threads lktx, and it looks beautiful! Can't wait to hear setting ideas!

Where? She had one thread with an old cut for her brother? And another one with just plots. I wanna see!!!!

[URL='https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/help-needed-thoughts-on-this-diamond.184277/']https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/help-needed-thoughts-on-this-diamond.184277/[/URL]

they ended up with the 2.3 J SI1 from JA!

 

[lktx]

Thanks guys! It's quite exciting. SO knows I want a solitaire, so hopefully that's what he'll get me. I selected the exact diamond though, so I'm going to let go of the setting process.

Unfortunately I won't have any pictures until he proposes. Womp womp.

 

[maple2012]

Hi Ladies….
Sounds like I am not the only one having trouble.

Okay. I need to vent. I am having a bad month. Lol.

So and I haven’t really talked engagement for a few months and I think I am needing some sort of reassurance from him. I have been a good gf and haven’t brought it up.

For one, I have to bring our ring in soon to get the 6 month inspection (as long as I bring it in every 6 months, we get to keep the warranty on the setting). I don’t know why but it makes me super annoyed that I have to get it back from him and bring it in there, only for them to look at a ring that hasn’t been worn or touched in 6 months. Grrr. I cannot believe it’s already been set for 6 months. I am dying over here.

Second, everyone keeps bringing it up! We went to his hometown this past weekend and I met his entire extended family and everyone was dropping hints and I really had nothing to say. Then, when we get home our friends are like… “Well you got the family’s approval… what’s the hold up?!” Joking of course but… What is the hold up!?

Third, Our 2 year anniversary is in less than a month and I really was hoping….

Fourth, his sister now set a wedding date for early October which is exactly at the end of our timeline. Last October, we discussed “within a year.” Now I am really afraid that he will wait until after the wedding so that we are not stealing anyone’s thunder which I can understand. In my girl mind, I am like well then you better get going and do it so our engagement is old news by that time. I am afraid his guy mind thinks much differently.
To add fuel to this fire, I am a BM for my friend at the end of November and they will have known eachother for exactly 2 years when they get married. Did I mention I have known SO for 5 years?! Not comparing… just sad.

Sorry ladies, thanks for allowing me to vent here instead of to SO. I don’t know what I would do without you all. Hugs!

Sorry to hear you're having a bad month, antiquesparkler!!! I know what you mean on seeing other couples get engaged and married who have been dating the exact same time as you and SO.... it makes you start asking, "why not me?!" Gosh... I know I've had a breakdown session over that on at least 2-3 occasions that led to tears and me complaining at SO... then apologizing the next day.

I definately understand how taking the ring in when you haven't been proposed to can be upsetting!! WITH THAT SAID... if your 2 year anniversary is around the corner... I would bet he might be planning something around that time?

Also, here's an idea... don't make it easy for him and have him take the ring in himself for the warranty instead of you taking it in for him.

While talking to my SO about our timeline this week I told him that after he buys the ring, he needs to make sure he gets it appraised and insured between the time he gets it and the proposal (which I actually expected 2-3 months or so after the ring was purchased). He then said, "What do you mean?" and I explained the process and all the driving around involved. His responce was then, "Umm... can I just propose the same day I get it.. appraisals sounds too complicated... can you do that part instead?". SO gets flustered easily with any type of paper work.. on this occasion it's going to work in my favor

Maple

 

[teacup]

maple, you just might be a genius.

 

[teacup]

I have a tiny update! SO snuck up on me while I was on PS (I'm usually kind of discreet so that he doesn't think I'm obsessive ) and said that the next time I found a ring I really liked I should show him. So later I showed him one I loved and he said that I should send him a bunch of pictures of what I like and don't like. We went through all of them together and I pointed out the good or bad things about each ring. He asked a lot of questions and was really receptive to learning my tastes and about how to choose a diamond. There were some settings he really liked--including my second favorite--so it looks like we're on the same page, style-wise. Anyway, it was pretty much the first time we sat down together and discussed rings in detail, so I'm pretty happy that there was some progress there. Now I need to try some on.

 

[pandabee]

I have a tiny update! SO snuck up on me while I was on PS (I'm usually kind of discreet so that he doesn't think I'm obsessive ) and said that the next time I found a ring I really liked I should show him. So later I showed him one I loved and he said that I should send him a bunch of pictures of what I like and don't like. We went through all of them together and I pointed out the good or bad things about each ring. He asked a lot of questions and was really receptive to learning my tastes and about how to choose a diamond. There were some settings he really liked--including my second favorite--so it looks like we're on the same page, style-wise. Anyway, it was pretty much the first time we sat down together and discussed rings in detail, so I'm pretty happy that there was some progress there. Now I need to try some on.

yayyyy that is really exciting!!!! Do you think you will go try them on yourself or with him?

 

[maple2012]

I have a tiny update! SO snuck up on me while I was on PS (I'm usually kind of discreet so that he doesn't think I'm obsessive ) and said that the next time I found a ring I really liked I should show him. So later I showed him one I loved and he said that I should send him a bunch of pictures of what I like and don't like. We went through all of them together and I pointed out the good or bad things about each ring. He asked a lot of questions and was really receptive to learning my tastes and about how to choose a diamond. There were some settings he really liked--including my second favorite--so it looks like we're on the same page, style-wise. Anyway, it was pretty much the first time we sat down together and discussed rings in detail, so I'm pretty happy that there was some progress there. Now I need to try some on.

Oh how exciting!!! Yay!!! Have you gone to look at rings together? If you haven't, ask him if he'd maybe he'd open to going to look together?

Since my SO and I did our first trip together looking at diamonds and settings, he's all about the engagement now and keeps bringing up the purchase of the ring. Honestly I think it helps put things into perspective and might even get him excited about it. End the trip with drinks at a nice bar or a nice lunch somewhere tasty. Make an event out of it and keep it fun for both of you.

 

[teacup]

Oh how exciting!!! Yay!!! Have you gone to look at rings together? If you haven't, ask him if he'd maybe he'd open to going to look together?

Since my SO and I did our first trip together looking at diamonds and settings, he's all about the engagement now and keeps bringing up the purchase of the ring. Honestly I think it helps put things into perspective and might even get him excited about it. End the trip with drinks at a nice bar or a nice lunch somewhere tasty. Make an event out of it and keep it fun for both of you.

We haven't gone to look together yet, but I think we will soon. I told him that it would give us a much better idea of what we're looking for, and he agreed. I like your suggestion of making an event out of it. I know he WANTS to go, but I also know he might be easily intimidated, so it's definitely a good idea to keep things light and fun.

 

[antiquesparkler]

Hi Ladies….
Sounds like I am not the only one having trouble.

Okay. I need to vent. I am having a bad month. Lol.

So and I haven’t really talked engagement for a few months and I think I am needing some sort of reassurance from him. I have been a good gf and haven’t brought it up.

For one, I have to bring our ring in soon to get the 6 month inspection (as long as I bring it in every 6 months, we get to keep the warranty on the setting). I don’t know why but it makes me super annoyed that I have to get it back from him and bring it in there, only for them to look at a ring that hasn’t been worn or touched in 6 months. Grrr. I cannot believe it’s already been set for 6 months. I am dying over here.

Second, everyone keeps bringing it up! We went to his hometown this past weekend and I met his entire extended family and everyone was dropping hints and I really had nothing to say. Then, when we get home our friends are like… “Well you got the family’s approval… what’s the hold up?!” Joking of course but… What is the hold up!?

Third, Our 2 year anniversary is in less than a month and I really was hoping….

Fourth, his sister now set a wedding date for early October which is exactly at the end of our timeline. Last October, we discussed “within a year.” Now I am really afraid that he will wait until after the wedding so that we are not stealing anyone’s thunder which I can understand. In my girl mind, I am like well then you better get going and do it so our engagement is old news by that time. I am afraid his guy mind thinks much differently.
To add fuel to this fire, I am a BM for my friend at the end of November and they will have known eachother for exactly 2 years when they get married. Did I mention I have known SO for 5 years?! Not comparing… just sad.

Sorry ladies, thanks for allowing me to vent here instead of to SO. I don’t know what I would do without you all. Hugs!

Sorry to hear you're having a bad month, antiquesparkler!!! I know what you mean on seeing other couples get engaged and married who have been dating the exact same time as you and SO.... it makes you start asking, "why not me?!" Gosh... I know I've had a breakdown session over that on at least 2-3 occasions that led to tears and me complaining at SO... then apologizing the next day.

I definately understand how taking the ring in when you haven't been proposed to can be upsetting!! WITH THAT SAID... if your 2 year anniversary is around the corner... I would bet he might be planning something around that time?

Also, here's an idea... don't make it easy for him and have him take the ring in himself for the warranty instead of you taking it in for him.

While talking to my SO about our timeline this week I told him that after he buys the ring, he needs to make sure he gets it appraised and insured between the time he gets it and the proposal (which I actually expected 2-3 months or so after the ring was purchased). He then said, "What do you mean?" and I explained the process and all the driving around involved. His responce was then, "Umm... can I just propose the same day I get it.. appraisals sounds too complicated... can you do that part instead?". SO gets flustered easily with any type of paper work.. on this occasion it's going to work in my favor

Maple

Thanks Maple! I have been doing some thinking this weekend and SO gave me the perfect opportunity to bring it up this Saturday night so I playfully told him I refused to go to another wedding without a ring on my finger. He laughed and said that he had it all under control and that I was not to worry about anything. I reminded him about our friend's wedding in November and his sister's wedding in October and he joked back, "So, you mean I can wait that long?!" It was good. I feel a lot better.

I told him I was embarassed about bringing the ring in next month... they are going to be like, it's so clean! He sort of laughed but paused for a second- as if taking a mental note.

Our very first date was lunch at this amazing Brazillian steakhouse and we plan to go back there every year. So we just made our reservations for our second anniversary lunch. A girl can dream!

Thank you for your kind words Maple!

Ha! Tell him to put the ring on your finger and you will take care of the rest! hehe. I applaud your bf for not waiting. That can make a girl crazy.

 

[Chewbacca]

I'm glad you are feeling better, antiquesparkler! It all sounds very exciting!

 

[antiquesparkler]

Oh how exciting!!! Yay!!! Have you gone to look at rings together? If you haven't, ask him if he'd maybe he'd open to going to look together?

Since my SO and I did our first trip together looking at diamonds and settings, he's all about the engagement now and keeps bringing up the purchase of the ring. Honestly I think it helps put things into perspective and might even get him excited about it. End the trip with drinks at a nice bar or a nice lunch somewhere tasty. Make an event out of it and keep it fun for both of you.

We haven't gone to look together yet, but I think we will soon. I told him that it would give us a much better idea of what we're looking for, and he agreed. I like your suggestion of making an event out of it. I know he WANTS to go, but I also know he might be easily intimidated, so it's definitely a good idea to keep things light and fun.

Yay teacup! That is so exciting. Can’t wait to hear about your shopping experience. I agree, I think seeing a ring definitely puts it into perspective for the guys.

 

[antiquesparkler]

I'm glad you are feeling better, antiquesparkler! It all sounds very exciting!

Thanks Chewbacca!

 

[pandabee]

aw antiquesparkler honey I'm glad you are feeling better. When is your anniversary? Here's hoping for your ring by then!! A boy can only hold onto it for so long! I'm sure he definitely won't make you wait until October from what it's sounding like

 

[antiquesparkler]

aw antiquesparkler honey I'm glad you are feeling better. When is your anniversary? Here's hoping for your ring by then!! A boy can only hold onto it for so long! I'm sure he definitely won't make you wait until October from what it's sounding like

Thanks Panda! I feel a lot better...

Our anniversary is February 18th. I don't know that it will happen that day but that's okay. He had better not make me wait till October! I guess us girls just need some reassurance every now and then.

Hugs! Did I mention you all are wonderful?

 

[lin_ny]

Waiting... waiting... groan.

So much waiting around here.