Updates, anyone?

[MBKRH]

I don't know what it is. I've gone from major LIW-itis to the complete opposite. (I don't give a sh*t anymore -itis? ) I don't know if I'm harboring resentment towards him or what. But I've been feeling super negative about the whole thing lately and been in "woe is me" ville.

I've been like this since December.
Resentment --> annoyance --> asking him when --> he gets annoyed --> we fight.

So I kind of don't care anymore.

Awww Mad, I'm so sorry. That's a vicious cycle. I wish I knew what to say, but I do understand how you feel.

Just last night, he ordered himself new speakers for his surround sound - $300. They were normally $700 or something like that, but he kept asking if I was mad. I said "Why? It's your money, we don't commingle funds." I honestly wasn't MAD, annoyed maybe, because I think the speakers we have now are FINE, but boys and their toys, I guess.......... I don't get it.

 

[MBKRH]

I BEEN THERE, WOMAN! I know exactly what you're going through right now. Exactly. Precisely. It was me a few months ago. I still have days when I wonder why things aren't going the way I'd hoped or I think they should. I know it might not be for everyone, but something that really helped me was taking a few months away from PS. I know it seems kinda extreme... or silly... or something, but getting the whole ring/diamond thing out of my mind was so much easier when I wasn't glued to PS all the time.

I don't know what to say to help you. Just know that you definitely aren't the first to feel that frustration. Trust in yourself, your choices and your relationship. And know it'll come when it's right. Maybe he's saving up and you don't know about it (I always told myself this, even though the events that have transpired with us getting the diamond I know it wasn't true... hahaha). My biggest fear when I was super crazy and irrational about getting engaged and being in such a hurry - was that I was pushing him away, and making him not want to marry me. I had serious fears that I'd totally ****ed everything up just by wanting a stupid ring and a stupid wedding. Dayum, I'm nuts.

Anyway, hang in there girl! And not giving a shit for a while is gonna be good for you! Hugs!

I don't think I'll take time off from PS, I'll probably just be a bit quieter. This forum helps me keep my sanity, and to know that I'm not the only one feeling the way I do.
I know he's not saving for a ring (see above where he just spend a couple hundo's on speakers), I vaguely remember him saying after the car's paid off, he'll be financing my ring (with what credit card, I don't know.....) I do think I've been afraid of pushing him away so maybe that's why I've slipped into the IDGAS-itis mode.

I did the same thing as far as taking a break from PS. Of course we don't want you to go anywhere, but sometimes all the PS stuff doesn't help when you're in a bad head space. And it's also probably hard to hear advice from people that are moving forward, so feel free to tell me to shove it, I won't mind, I get it
I actually lurked on PS for quite a while before officially coming "back." I kind of wish I'd come back to LIW sooner bc I love the camaraderie, and honestly feel like a bit of an a$$ for the fact that my list time will probably be short, but I waited to come back until things were really in motion bc it was hard dealing with what I went through before (with the ex) and I didn't want to torture myself by reading all the PS stories before I was more sure of my timeline and stuff.

I am appreciative of everyone's advice, regardless of where they're at with their relationships. I doubt I'd tell anyone to shove it.
I did some lurking too before joining the list again, so I get where you're coming from with that. I probably should have waited a bit longer before rejoining, but oh well..........

 

[madelise]

Awww Mad, I'm so sorry. That's a vicious cycle. I wish I knew what to say, but I do understand how you feel.

Just last night, he ordered himself new speakers for his surround sound - $300. They were normally $700 or something like that, but he kept asking if I was mad. I said "Why? It's your money, we don't commingle funds." I honestly wasn't MAD, annoyed maybe, because I think the speakers we have now are FINE, but boys and their toys, I guess.......... I don't get it.

I think it's just.. after years of hoping and getting let down, I'm no longer as excited. Meh. I heard from others that I will still be excited when it happens. We'll see.

 

[princesss]

Hey ladies!

Sorry it seems like life in LIWland isn't so hot.

Thought I'd come back and tell you guys what the gift was - BF left on Friday so I wasn't really online while he was here, but I wanted to let you know! He gave me a GORGEOUS fountain pen, had it in an engraved box, and wrapped it in a letter he wrote to me on an antique typewriter. I absolutely lost it and cried so hard - it was so sweet and thoughtful and amazing. And he said that his savings plan is finally coming to fruition (he's been working so hard!) and he's hoping to have enough to take us to Venice for Carnival next year (go to the Doge's ball and everything!). Hopefully I'll be in grad school over there starting in August/September, but at the very least I'll head over in August for a few days and then we're hoping to be in Germany for Christmas, but time and finances will tell.

It was seriously the most wonderful visit. We didn't do a whole lot, mostly we just hung out and enjoyed being together. I'm trying really, really hard to hold it together but it's just so dang hard to be away from him. Oh well. Can't wait to get this figured out an at least be on the same side of the ocean!

This is my favourite pic from this trip. Miss him so much.

 

[Chewbacca]

He gave me a GORGEOUS fountain pen, had it in an engraved box, and wrapped it in a letter he wrote to me on an antique typewriter.

I've been waiting for your return! HOW is that in Star Wars?! Way to bury the lead! What a thoughtful gift, and he obviously hit the jackpot. I hope you slip back into your LD routine as quickly and painlessly as possible. !

PS. Adorable photo.

 

[princesss]

He gave me a GORGEOUS fountain pen, had it in an engraved box, and wrapped it in a letter he wrote to me on an antique typewriter.

I've been waiting for your return! HOW is that in Star Wars?! Way to bury the lead! What a thoughtful gift, and he obviously hit the jackpot. I hope you slip back into your LD routine as quickly and painlessly as possible. !

PS. Adorable photo.

To quote: Well, I figured there had to be a pen SOMEWHERE, right?

Silly boy.

Btdubs - are you in NZ? I saw you comment on my NZ post in BWW. BF and I might throw around the idea of moving there in a few years oh, say...once a week. I'm demanding a PS GTG if we ever do.

 

[madelise]

He gave me a GORGEOUS fountain pen, had it in an engraved box, and wrapped it in a letter he wrote to me on an antique typewriter.

I've been waiting for your return! HOW is that in Star Wars?! Way to bury the lead! What a thoughtful gift, and he obviously hit the jackpot. I hope you slip back into your LD routine as quickly and painlessly as possible. !

PS. Adorable photo.

To quote: Well, I figured there had to be a pen SOMEWHERE, right?

Silly boy.

Btdubs - are you in NZ? I saw you comment on my NZ post in BWW. BF and I might throw around the idea of moving there in a few years oh, say...once a week. I'm demanding a PS GTG if we ever do.

OMG, what a silly man! He had you, and the rest of us, racking our brains!! Does he know what damage he has done? I love the fountain pen present! Is it angled, so you can write all calligraphy-ish? It sounds like the perfect present for you. I hope it gives you all the luck in the world for getting into your program! BT"dubs", when do you hear of your results?

Your photo with him is awesome! You two make quite a gorgeous couple!

 

[pandabee]

wait...I still don't get the star wars clues?? Am I completely dense? princesss you two are adorable though!!! I'm glad you guys got to spend some time together finally!

 

[madelise]

wait...I still don't get the star wars clues?? Am I completely dense? princesss you two are adorable though!!! I'm glad you guys got to spend some time together finally!

To quote: Well, I figured there had to be a pen SOMEWHERE, right?

Silly boy.

I'm still laughing my booty off.

 

[Chewbacca]

To quote: Well, I figured there had to be a pen SOMEWHERE, right?

What a SNEAK he is! I don't recall anyone using a pen in Star Wars, AND I SHOULD KNOW! (So untrue, I have no idea!)

Btdubs - are you in NZ? I saw you comment on my NZ post in BWW. BF and I might throw around the idea of moving there in a few years oh, say...once a week. I'm demanding a PS GTG if we ever do.

Yup! You and your SO met while both on holiday here, right? GTG yes!

 

[princesss]

To quote: Well, I figured there had to be a pen SOMEWHERE, right?

What a SNEAK he is! I don't recall anyone using a pen in Star Wars, AND I SHOULD KNOW! (So untrue, I have no idea!)

Btdubs - are you in NZ? I saw you comment on my NZ post in BWW. BF and I might throw around the idea of moving there in a few years oh, say...once a week. I'm demanding a PS GTG if we ever do.

Yup! You and your SO met while both on holiday here, right? GTG yes!

Yep, we met in Taupo. But when we talk about settling down eventually, NZ is high on the list. We'd like to travel a bit more first, but it's got everything we want (minus proximity to, you know, family and other countries). He loved it when he was there - said it reminded him of home (Wales) but prettier.

And yeah, he admitted the Star Wars clue was terrible.

madelise - his final clue to me was "This is the next best thing to an engagement ring I could give you." At that point I went ??? And for all his talk of holding out, as soon as we got to my house he gave me a kiss and said, "Do you want your present?" And it's not angled - I'll have to take a picture. He got me a journal while he was here so that I could always have both with me so I could write ideas down. I've actually got a short story idea in it now that I need to flesh out a bit.

As for grad school apps - uggggh, the drama. So, I'm trying to apply by the end of this week (finally got all my reference contact info, just doing one more round of edits), but the deadline isn't until the end of June! So I could be sitting on my hands until July. No bueno!

 

[Chewbacca]

Yep, we met in Taupo. But when we talk about settling down eventually, NZ is high on the list. We'd like to travel a bit more first, but it's got everything we want (minus proximity to, you know, family and other countries). He loved it when he was there - said it reminded him of home (Wales) but prettier.

And yeah, he admitted the Star Wars clue was terrible.

Did you visit the hot spring in Taupo? We try to stop there every time we are passing through, and if we are staying local SO likes to sit in it to watch the sun rise (I've never made it out of bed!). The Wales comparison is a popular one, they must be similar!

I love the Star Wars clue.


IN BREAKING NEWS: I broke my ring-finger nail. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!

 

[lin_ny]

Yep, we met in Taupo. But when we talk about settling down eventually, NZ is high on the list. We'd like to travel a bit more first, but it's got everything we want (minus proximity to, you know, family and other countries). He loved it when he was there - said it reminded him of home (Wales) but prettier.

And yeah, he admitted the Star Wars clue was terrible.

Did you visit the hot spring in Taupo? We try to stop there every time we are passing through, and if we are staying local SO likes to sit in it to watch the sun rise (I've never made it out of bed!). The Wales comparison is a popular one, they must be similar!

I love the Star Wars clue.


IN BREAKING NEWS: I broke my ring-finger nail. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!

Probably bad ju-ju.

 

[princesss]

Yep, we met in Taupo. But when we talk about settling down eventually, NZ is high on the list. We'd like to travel a bit more first, but it's got everything we want (minus proximity to, you know, family and other countries). He loved it when he was there - said it reminded him of home (Wales) but prettier.

And yeah, he admitted the Star Wars clue was terrible.

Did you visit the hot spring in Taupo? We try to stop there every time we are passing through, and if we are staying local SO likes to sit in it to watch the sun rise (I've never made it out of bed!). The Wales comparison is a popular one, they must be similar!

I love the Star Wars clue.


IN BREAKING NEWS: I broke my ring-finger nail. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!

Hahahaha, so. Funny story. We were supposed to go with a group of people to the hot springs, but we ended up staying in his van and chatting instead of going with them. Everybody said they were gorgeous, but we opted for a little alone time instead.

 

[princesss]

Yep, we met in Taupo. But when we talk about settling down eventually, NZ is high on the list. We'd like to travel a bit more first, but it's got everything we want (minus proximity to, you know, family and other countries). He loved it when he was there - said it reminded him of home (Wales) but prettier.

And yeah, he admitted the Star Wars clue was terrible.

Did you visit the hot spring in Taupo? We try to stop there every time we are passing through, and if we are staying local SO likes to sit in it to watch the sun rise (I've never made it out of bed!). The Wales comparison is a popular one, they must be similar!

I love the Star Wars clue.


IN BREAKING NEWS: I broke my ring-finger nail. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!

Probably bad ju-ju.

Yep. It's right there at the top of the bad ju-ju list. Right along "seeing a Grim in your tea leaves" and "seeing a panda at the next table over while you're reading 'Eats, Shoots and Leaves'".

 

[pandabee]

Yep, we met in Taupo. But when we talk about settling down eventually, NZ is high on the list. We'd like to travel a bit more first, but it's got everything we want (minus proximity to, you know, family and other countries). He loved it when he was there - said it reminded him of home (Wales) but prettier.

And yeah, he admitted the Star Wars clue was terrible.

Did you visit the hot spring in Taupo? We try to stop there every time we are passing through, and if we are staying local SO likes to sit in it to watch the sun rise (I've never made it out of bed!). The Wales comparison is a popular one, they must be similar!

I love the Star Wars clue.


IN BREAKING NEWS: I broke my ring-finger nail. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!

Probably bad ju-ju.

Yep. It's right there at the top of the bad ju-ju list. Right along "seeing a Grim in your tea leaves" and "seeing a panda at the next table over while you're reading 'Eats, Shoots and Leaves'".

I am going to hide out at cafe tables and see what happens. Because I'm really a panda, afterall.

 

[pandabee]

IN BREAKING NEWS: I broke my ring-finger nail. WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!

It means you gotta make up for that broken nail with BLINGY nail polish and BLING!!!!

 

[Chewbacca]

You ladies make me laugh! Good luck at the cafes, pandabee!

 

[mandasand]

Hi Ladies,
I'm moving to San Diego in 6 weeks. I found an adorable townhouse near the bay. It's very central location, close to the beach, work and fun. I even have a peek ocean view! It's pretty retro, but the owner is having it cleaned and I'll be able to make it look super cute. BF has not proposed, but I think it will be coming soon. We've been seriously looking at two rings from JBEG and also an AVR from GOG. One ring from JBEG is over budget and one is way UNDER budget. I know I'm picky but it doesn't have to be very expensive, as long as it is a diamond and the setting is unique/vintage. I need lots of dust!

 

[pandabee]

Hi Ladies,
I'm moving to San Diego in 6 weeks. I found an adorable townhouse near the bay. It's very central location, close to the beach, work and fun. I even have a peek ocean view! It's pretty retro, but the owner is having it cleaned and I'll be able to make it look super cute. BF has not proposed, but I think it will be coming soon. We've been seriously looking at two rings from JBEG and also an AVR from GOG. One ring from JBEG is over budget and one is way UNDER budget. I know I'm picky but it doesn't have to be very expensive, as long as it is a diamond and the setting is unique/vintage. I need lots of dust!

yay mandasand!!!!! How exciting!!!! ***dust*** that it happens in the next 6 weeks!! Do you have a setting picked out or is he going to pick one for you?

 

[Chewbacca]

One million dusts to you, mandasand!

 

[BereniceFrench]

Hi everyone!

Here is my update! I asked BF about a timeline, when he thought he might be ready and he said: maybe another year ... and that was mid-December! So here is to hoping it happens before the end of 2013!
I try not to mention it too much to not "scare" him away but it is sometimes difficult ... Especially because he mentions it also! He jokes about it, even though I told him that each times I was hopeful that it was a little more than a joke. The other day he casually said that when his boss talked about his bonus for this year he told him: I am going to have to start saving for that ring. And he is telling me that! So now I'm even more hopeful! We also went to look at ring this past weekend. It wasn't planned, we were just at the mall and he said: do you want to go in and look? So we did and I tried on some things.
I think all of this is making me very excited but I am not sure I should be. He might be thinking about it way more casually than I am and I am just getting my hopes up ... What do you think? I know that he wants to marry me eventually and have a family together. He told me that several times and that I am the one. But he also is scared of the wedding, and he doesn't see the rush. For me it is like a bug bite me or something. I wasn't thinking about it, I thought it was very far away and all of a sudden, I was a LIW! It is like I reached a new step in my life, or I am ready for it.

 

[lin_ny]

One of my closest friends got engaged on Friday. Its kinda muddy as to when they were 'official', but I'm pretty sure they haven't had their one year anniversary yet. As much as I was hoping I'd get engaged before her, just due to the fact that SO and I have been together for 3.5 years now, I'm not surprised. I'm so, so, SO happy for them.

But seeeeeeeeeriouslyyyyyyyyy?!!?!??!?!

 

[Chewbacca]

BereniceFrench - From what you describe, it seems things are rolling along nicely! Talking about it with happy faces, super causal ring shopping! All good things!

lin_ny - Yeah. It can sting at first when that happens, BUT you can use it as a fab excuse to research wedding stuff! For 'her' AKA you! I'm so deep into helping with SO's brothers wedding its making me dread the workload of my own!

 

[wakingdreams53]

BereniceFrench, I'm in the same boat! Everything is SUPER casual-- at least you have a sort of timeline! My issue is that he bought the diamond! Imagine the insta-LIWitis lol

I don't want to constantly bring it up, but now I'm afraid it's never going to be brought up. He had said that he wants it to be set in NY. Now I said I want to go to NY for my birthday (in 2 months) and I casually asked what he wants to do up there... he said he doesn't know. I'd be all coy thinking he's got other plans, but I really don't think he does. I should just mention it but again, I don't want to scare him off from the topic entirely since the diamond was no cheap purchase and the setting won't be either...

SIGH!

 

[lin_ny]

BereniceFrench - From what you describe, it seems things are rolling along nicely! Talking about it with happy faces, super causal ring shopping! All good things!

lin_ny - Yeah. It can sting at first when that happens, BUT you can use it as a fab excuse to research wedding stuff! For 'her' AKA you! I'm so deep into helping with SO's brothers wedding its making me dread the workload of my own!

Okay, I like this spin! I'm hoping I can help her out with some stuff. I think they're gonna have a pretty big wedding, so it'll be a lot of work for her to plan!!

 

[lin_ny]

BereniceFrench, I'm in the same boat! Everything is SUPER casual-- at least you have a sort of timeline! My issue is that he bought the diamond! Imagine the insta-LIWitis lol

I don't want to constantly bring it up, but now I'm afraid it's never going to be brought up. He had said that he wants it to be set in NY. Now I said I want to go to NY for my birthday (in 2 months) and I casually asked what he wants to do up there... he said he doesn't know. I'd be all coy thinking he's got other plans, but I really don't think he does. I should just mention it but again, I don't want to scare him off from the topic entirely since the diamond was no cheap purchase and the setting won't be either...

SIGH!

Ditto!

I've taken the approach of... well... shutting up for the most part. Except since we've gotten the diamond (few weeks), I've asked him almost every day where he's keeping it.

Today, I made sure he knew about my friend's engagement and I stressed that they've been together for less than a year! NUDGE NUDGE!!!!!

I am a complete psycho. I am glad to know there's others here that feel the same way I do.

 

[MBKRH]

No major updates for me.

The other night, we were sitting on the couch, both on Pinterest. He found a black ring with three pink sapphires and said "what about this?" (pink and black are my favorite colors) And it was GORGEOUS, but certainly not for an e-ring. Well, for me at least. I want a traditional white diamond. I just thought it was funny he's looking at a ring, and I'm browsing different kinds of grilled cheese sandwiches. What can I say, I was sooooooo hungry! And I haven't been in LIW mode for quite a while now.

He also brought home the end-of-the-month statement for the car:
$2,760.15 left until it's paid off.
His office manager/assistant OM both know that once the car is paid off, he'll be saving/preparing to finance my ring. So, I guess they think it's hysterical to send him home with the updated balance.

Unfortunately, I don't think I'll be able to get the ring I want from WF, as they are not flexible with payment plans. The 90 day flex plan isn't financially possible for him, nor is using credit cards (he has none). *sigh* Sooo........ I'm bummed. He knows how much I wanted that ring.

 

[lin_ny]

No major updates for me.

The other night, we were sitting on the couch, both on Pinterest. He found a black ring with three pink sapphires and said "what about this?" (pink and black are my favorite colors) And it was GORGEOUS, but certainly not for an e-ring. Well, for me at least. I want a traditional white diamond. I just thought it was funny he's looking at a ring, and I'm browsing different kinds of grilled cheese sandwiches. What can I say, I was sooooooo hungry! And I haven't been in LIW mode for quite a while now.

He also brought home the end-of-the-month statement for the car:
$2,760.15 left until it's paid off.
His office manager/assistant OM both know that once the car is paid off, he'll be saving/preparing to finance my ring. So, I guess they think it's hysterical to send him home with the updated balance.

Unfortunately, I don't think I'll be able to get the ring I want from WF, as they are not flexible with payment plans. The 90 day flex plan isn't financially possible for him, nor is using credit cards (he has none). *sigh* Sooo........ I'm bummed. He knows how much I wanted that ring.

Now I'm hungry, damnit!

Sounds like things are on the right track re: the ring save-age/finance-age!

What ring do you want from WF? Booo maybe he will save some and then put that down on the ring, and then be able to do the payment plan with WF?

 

[mandasand]

Hi Ladies,
I'm moving to San Diego in 6 weeks. I found an adorable townhouse near the bay. It's very central location, close to the beach, work and fun. I even have a peek ocean view! It's pretty retro, but the owner is having it cleaned and I'll be able to make it look super cute. BF has not proposed, but I think it will be coming soon. We've been seriously looking at two rings from JBEG and also an AVR from GOG. One ring from JBEG is over budget and one is way UNDER budget. I know I'm picky but it doesn't have to be very expensive, as long as it is a diamond and the setting is unique/vintage. I need lots of dust!

yay mandasand!!!!! How exciting!!!! ***dust*** that it happens in the next 6 weeks!! Do you have a setting picked out or is he going to pick one for you?

Panda (that's my nickname too - Manda Panda!!) - if he goes for the AVR he'll have to pick the setting. I've shown him a lot of examples from LJN, Bev K, Gabriel, etc. so I think he knows what I like If he picks a ring from Jbeg, it is mounted and ready to go.

It's always ME driving this boat. But, he actually brought it up on Monday night. He told me that he looked at all the options and wanted to know what I really want. Do I want the more expensive ring that is over budget or do I want the one that is under budget? If I go with the under budget ring, we would be able to buy wedding bands and have funds to to go towards the wedding. We've been through a lot the last year. We bought a new house, which was a money suck....6 months later, my company announced my position was relocating to San Diego. I had a lot of time to think about it. I accepted in January. My BF will cover our whole mortgage for the next year until he can sell the house and move to San Diego. My rent in San Diego is almost double what I pay here. We also want to make sure we have the funds to see each other once a month or more, which is an added expense. After thinking about it, I would rather get a smaller e-ring now and then upgrade later. I asked him if this was possible (because he's super sentimental) and he was totally fine with it. In the end, I'm actually getting my dream ring. It's a gorgeous art deco filagree mounting with an OEC center. Everyone says go with the bigger diamond, but I'm not a very flashy person and while I'm also in love with the 1.2 carat OEC, that is always something I can get in the future.