Updates, anyone?

[madelise]

Hi Ladies!!! SO finally did his taxes today and we finally found out how much he's getting back. Due to refinancing the house earlier this year, the refund was much lower than the past year. So together with his savings he now has 8k saved for my ring... but it's still about 5k from the price of the carat size/color/clarity I want. Drats Looks like this is going to take longer than I had hoped. I'm not sure if he'd consider financing the rest via a no interest 12 month plan... we'll see. We might talk about it more tomorrow when he has the day off from work and we actually have time to discuss everything.

8K is a very very healthy budget! What're you trying to get? Are you opposed to waiting longer to save more, or would you be okay with 'downgrading' to something so you guys can get engaged now?

 

[Chewbacca]

I'm not sure I'm remembering this correctly, but you were aiming for a 2ct right? You could buy from a vendor with an upgrade policy perhaps?

8k is a very healthy budget!

 

[maple2012]

Hi Ladies,

Yes I was hoping for 2ct but eventually settled on getting a 1.7-1.8 carat for a budget of 13k. Originally I had hoped the budget was a wee bit higher so I could hit 2ct but that doesn't seem realistic right now so we agreed to upgrade on our 5 year anniversary and go with 1.7-1.8 carat for now.

With his current funds of 8k, I don't think I'd be able to even hit 1.5 carat however. Yes I really want to get engaged now... but I also want a ring that looks good on my finger and my finger size is larger (7.75 size)... so I can't really pull off a smaller stone like other girls.

 

[madelise]

Hi Ladies,

Yes I was hoping for 2ct but eventually settled on getting a 1.7-1.8 carat for a budget of 13k. Originally I had hoped the budget was a wee bit higher so I could hit 2ct but that doesn't seem realistic right now so we agreed to upgrade on our 5 year anniversary and go with 1.7-1.8 carat for now.

With his current funds of 8k, I don't think I'd be able to even hit 1.5 carat however. Yes I really want to get engaged now... but I also want a ring that looks good on my finger and my finger size is larger (7.75 size)... so I can't really pull off a smaller stone like other girls.

What about changing from a MRB to an OEC? The prices aren't as high as for MRBs, and you can go lower in color since the faceting makes it face-up whiter.

 

[madelise]

OOH what about this one? https://www.pricescope.com/forum/preloved-ps-jewels/gia-1-57-i-si2-eyeclean-for-sale-t186646.html

 

[Chewbacca]

Its gone already! Any chance it was to you, maple?

 

[mandasand]

I am so anxious hoping he buys the adorable vintage wedding set from JbEG. I thought he was going to do it. But now I'm not sure. I mentioned how devistated I would be if it sold. He said that he can always find something similar because I gravitate towards the same style and he knows me. It is so frustrating. I guess I can't make him understand that this ring makes my heart sing. No other ring has come close. It's a price that we would both be comfortable with. But, if he's not ready, I can't do anything about it. I love him no matter what, but my hope is fading the engagement will happen before I move away. I don't want to move feeling broken hearted.

 

[maple2012]

Hi Ladies! That wasn't me who purchased it... SO and I still haven't had a chance to talk on what we are going to do now - basically wait or purchase something smaller. I was hoping we'd talk tonight but SO is fast asleep after having been up after working nearly 20 hours at work. Maybe we'll chat tomorow morning before I leave to work.

Lately I've been drawn to GOG. They seem to have a great upgrade policy, nice pictures and videos, and some clean SI1's and SI2's. I wonder if they offer a pricescope discount.

 

[maple2012]

Hi Ladies,

Yes I was hoping for 2ct but eventually settled on getting a 1.7-1.8 carat for a budget of 13k. Originally I had hoped the budget was a wee bit higher so I could hit 2ct but that doesn't seem realistic right now so we agreed to upgrade on our 5 year anniversary and go with 1.7-1.8 carat for now.

With his current funds of 8k, I don't think I'd be able to even hit 1.5 carat however. Yes I really want to get engaged now... but I also want a ring that looks good on my finger and my finger size is larger (7.75 size)... so I can't really pull off a smaller stone like other girls.

What about changing from a MRB to an OEC? The prices aren't as high as for MRBs, and you can go lower in color since the faceting makes it face-up whiter.

I do love OEC's and I do hope to own a warm 3+ carat right hand ring someday set in a rose gold... maybe 10-15 years from now when I have a higher income. For my engagement everyday ring I really want to stick to a classic round brilliant even if it's a bit smaller than I had hoped.

 

[lin_ny]

I was hoping that since miss BeeCushion gotsa ring on it that I'd move up in the line... Nope. Same spot.

There MUST be some more movement above me soon. Come on, engagements! #21 is not feeling very lucky!

 

[BriBee]

I was hoping that since miss BeeCushion gotsa ring on it that I'd move up in the line... Nope. Same spot.

There MUST be some more movement above me soon. Come on, engagements! #21 is not feeling very lucky!

Hahaaaa, this made me laugh, sorry I couldn't have been more helpful

 

[BriBee]

I was hoping that since miss BeeCushion gotsa ring on it that I'd move up in the line... Nope. Same spot.

There MUST be some more movement above me soon. Come on, engagements! #21 is not feeling very lucky!

Hahaaaa, this made me laugh, sorry I couldn't have been more helpful

Double eek

I was #30 on the list, and got engaged on my 30th birthday....looks like that's another lucky number

 

[madelise]

I am so anxious hoping he buys the adorable vintage wedding set from JbEG. I thought he was going to do it. But now I'm not sure. I mentioned how devistated I would be if it sold. He said that he can always find something similar because I gravitate towards the same style and he knows me. It is so frustrating. I guess I can't make him understand that this ring makes my heart sing. No other ring has come close. It's a price that we would both be comfortable with. But, if he's not ready, I can't do anything about it. I love him no matter what, but my hope is fading the engagement will happen before I move away. I don't want to move feeling broken hearted.

Aww, Manda *hugs*. Sometimes boys don't understand that vintage piece finds are not like going to a car dealership and just picking out ONE of the many, many *insert car model here*. My SO couldn't understand that, either. Can you take more control? I know you wanted him to buy it and stuff, but what if you just say, "this is it, time to buy?" I can definitely relate with the feeling broken hearted situation. I've been sharing how "meh" I've felt lately about an engagement. I can't wait til you're in SD, though, the sunshine and pretty people will perk you right up! SD is my favorite area of SoCal!! and maybe you can come to the next SoCal GTG this summer!!

 

[audball]

Hi Ladies! That wasn't me who purchased it... SO and I still haven't had a chance to talk on what we are going to do now - basically wait or purchase something smaller. I was hoping we'd talk tonight but SO is fast asleep after having been up after working nearly 20 hours at work. Maybe we'll chat tomorow morning before I leave to work.

Lately I've been drawn to GOG. They seem to have a great upgrade policy, nice pictures and videos, and some clean SI1's and SI2's. I wonder if they offer a pricescope discount.

Good Old Gold is a top notch vendor, but no, they don't offer a specific pricesope discount. Since they have an actual bricks and mortar front (in addition to their internet presence), they have more overhead costs in general. But the real reason is the owner offers the same discounts to everyone (ie: a wire transfer discount) and not just a discount to forum members. Depending on the stones, I've found he's comparable to slightly higher priced than other PS vendors, but I think the combination of quality, customer service, and the solid upgrade policy make the difference well worth it. Good luck with your search!

 

[MBKRH]

I feel like I've been updating weekly here- but it's always lame, it seems.

Anyway! M and I have begun talking about buying a house. For what we pay in rent ($930/month for a 1bd, w/ 700 sq ft. PLUS, the new rates start when we renew our lease, so it'll be $950/month), we have decided it'd be cheaper to rent. Fine and dandy, except we have NOTHING saved. We wouldn't even be able to do 10% down (or even 5%- yikes). Both of our credit scores are pretty low... so I don't think we'd qualify for a mortgage, and IF we did, I don't even want to think about the rates. On top of all that, we obviously are not in agreement as to the home type.

I want a townhouse. It makes NO sense for the two of us to get anything bigger. We don't want kids. A dog, maybe eventually. I don't need something over 1200 sq ft to clean. I'm sorry. I don't see the point in paying for more house than you need. Not to mention, a bigger place = the desire to want to fill it with "stuff." I'm a minimalist- I HATE STUFF! It weighs you down. The one place I've found in the nice part of our city is really nice (from the pics). HOA fees are about $220 a month, which is average. I love the fact that they take care of your lawn, snow removal, etc.... even though I know HOA fees can be a pain in the you-know-what.

M wants a detached single-family home type. He hasn't really given me the reasons for it, other than wanting a big yard (what the hell for?!?!) and I'm guessing more privacy (not having to worry about ticking off the neighbors you share a wall with, maybe?....) But that brought me back to the whole "we don't need to be paying for more house than we need" argument.

I put in a request to view the townhome I mentioned, just to get a feel for it in person. I might have a time slot locked in for Thursday evening, but now I'm tempted to e-mail the agent back and say forget it, because I know it'd be a waste of time. ***(see footnote)***

*sigh* It's so frustrating. Not to mention I know NOTHING about home ownership, mortgages, etc.... I'm so clueless!
And, I'm not too fond of getting a home before a ring. It seems to be get a house, new car (for him), new mattress, and then maybe my ring.


Sorry for venting. I guess I'm just a jumbled mess of confusion right now.




**** M's mom had mentioned a while back how her and her husband were thinking of helping us out with getting our own place. So M told them they should buy the townhouse and rent it out to us (Association Rules and Regulations permitting, of course). She seemed on board with it, and we even drove through the subdivision it's in this past weekend to look (her suggestion, not mine!)

 

[lin_ny]

I feel like I've been updating weekly here- but it's always lame, it seems.

Anyway! M and I have begun talking about buying a house. For what we pay in rent ($930/month for a 1bd, w/ 700 sq ft. PLUS, the new rates start when we renew our lease, so it'll be $950/month), we have decided it'd be cheaper to rent. Fine and dandy, except we have NOTHING saved. We wouldn't even be able to do 10% down (or even 5%- yikes). Both of our credit scores are pretty low... so I don't think we'd qualify for a mortgage, and IF we did, I don't even want to think about the rates. On top of all that, we obviously are not in agreement as to the home type.

I want a townhouse. It makes NO sense for the two of us to get anything bigger. We don't want kids. A dog, maybe eventually. I don't need something over 1200 sq ft to clean. I'm sorry. I don't see the point in paying for more house than you need. Not to mention, a bigger place = the desire to want to fill it with "stuff." I'm a minimalist- I HATE STUFF! It weighs you down. The one place I've found in the nice part of our city is really nice (from the pics). HOA fees are about $220 a month, which is average. I love the fact that they take care of your lawn, snow removal, etc.... even though I know HOA fees can be a pain in the you-know-what.

M wants a detached single-family home type. He hasn't really given me the reasons for it, other than wanting a big yard (what the hell for?!?!) and I'm guessing more privacy (not having to worry about ticking off the neighbors you share a wall with, maybe?....) But that brought me back to the whole "we don't need to be paying for more house than we need" argument.

I put in a request to view the townhome I mentioned, just to get a feel for it in person. I might have a time slot locked in for Thursday evening, but now I'm tempted to e-mail the agent back and say forget it, because I know it'd be a waste of time. ***(see footnote)***

*sigh* It's so frustrating. Not to mention I know NOTHING about home ownership, mortgages, etc.... I'm so clueless!
And, I'm not too fond of getting a home before a ring. It seems to be get a house, new car (for him), new mattress, and then maybe my ring.


Sorry for venting. I guess I'm just a jumbled mess of confusion right now.




**** M's mom had mentioned a while back how her and her husband were thinking of helping us out with getting our own place. So M told them they should buy the townhouse and rent it out to us (Association Rules and Regulations permitting, of course). She seemed on board with it, and we even drove through the subdivision it's in this past weekend to look (her suggestion, not mine!)

Ugh, I'm sorry that you guys aren't on the same page re: housing. That really blows.

If your MIL is willing to help you with your first home, maybe they could gift you the down payment and you could even slowly pay them back if you wanted to? It would be awesome if you could get a mortgage and do it mostly on your own. Getting into real estate is generally a good investment.

One piece of advice I'd give you would be this - unless you're prepared to sign the dotted line (with a down payment, financing, etc.) I wouldn't view any properties. It could cause undue stress if you view it, LOVE it, and then can't do anything about it. But like you said, maybe MIL is willing to help you out. Even still, until things are lined up, I'd avoid looking. It'll break your heart when you fall in love with something that gets snatched from beneath you!

 

[madelise]

One piece of advice I'd give you would be this - unless you're prepared to sign the dotted line (with a down payment, financing, etc.) I wouldn't view any properties. It could cause undue stress if you view it, LOVE it, and then can't do anything about it. But like you said, maybe MIL is willing to help you out. Even still, until things are lined up, I'd avoid looking. It'll break your heart when you fall in love with something that gets snatched from beneath you!

Ditto…. My heart's still broken from losing out on a 6 acre property two blocks from FMIL's house! The price was 1/2 the price it would cost to buy a 1 bedroom, ~1000sqft house here in the worst parts of my city.

Just looking isn't fun.. you might end up feeling more conflicted and upset about your situation.


ETA: by losing out, I don't mean I lost a bid.. I mean I lost out on a steal of a deal because I don't have that kind of money!

 

[mandasand]

I am so anxious hoping he buys the adorable vintage wedding set from JbEG. I thought he was going to do it. But now I'm not sure. I mentioned how devistated I would be if it sold. He said that he can always find something similar because I gravitate towards the same style and he knows me. It is so frustrating. I guess I can't make him understand that this ring makes my heart sing. No other ring has come close. It's a price that we would both be comfortable with. But, if he's not ready, I can't do anything about it. I love him no matter what, but my hope is fading the engagement will happen before I move away. I don't want to move feeling broken hearted.

Aww, Manda *hugs*. Sometimes boys don't understand that vintage piece finds are not like going to a car dealership and just picking out ONE of the many, many *insert car model here*. My SO couldn't understand that, either. Can you take more control? I know you wanted him to buy it and stuff, but what if you just say, "this is it, time to buy?" I can definitely relate with the feeling broken hearted situation. I've been sharing how "meh" I've felt lately about an engagement. I can't wait til you're in SD, though, the sunshine and pretty people will perk you right up! SD is my favorite area of SoCal!! and maybe you can come to the next SoCal GTG this summer!!

Madelise,
I can't be too pushy with him. I think he *may* be trying to throw me off...he's not a cruel or mean person. I know my happiness is important to him. My confidence issues are my issue and don't really have much to do with him. I have been struggling lately with my career changes (working hard for my promotion and moving to a new office in a new city). He's been the most supportive person during this transition, but I'm still insecure. My therapist said it's totally normal that I am feeling this way. I think my BF wonders what happened to his confident, self-assured and independent lady! I'm still me but a more sad version of myself. We've talked about it. I'll make it through and we'll make it work (long distance).

On the other hand - OMG, I am SO excited to move to San Diego. I found the funkiest, cutest townhouse by the bay. It's totally my style! I just love the area there.There is so many activities I want to do on the weekends. I was just telling my team today that part of me wishes I could move tomorrow, while the other part of me wishes I didn't have to move.

I would love to come to the Socal GTG...please keep me in the loop!
Manda

 

[maple2012]

Hi Ladies!

I have an update. I finally had a chance to speak with SO yesterday evening. After much discussion, the decision was made to wait until he saves the original funds we planned to get me a larger carat ring. He made it very clear that he doesnt want to finance any part of the ring it so it looks like I might be on the wait list for another 5 months.

So here's to driving myself crazy for a few more months and continue to look at diamonds and question my choices and top favorite settings. Haha.

PS: After our chat I got sad and went on youtube to check out diamond videos and make myself smile . I hadn't really ever paid attention at AVC's before. WOAHZA! Beautiful. This videos in particular brought me out of my gloomy state last night: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZ6-SUphWY4 and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7tiEaYnyuw&feature=endscreen&NR=1

 

[MBKRH]

Thanks Lin. Unfortunately, I have confirmation to view the townhouse tomorrow evening. I'm not too hyped about it, mainly 'cause M's soooo not into it. Also knowing that nothing will come out of it has kept my emotions low. I almost feel really bad for the guy, seeing as how it's almost a waste of his time. However, it's free- so what do they expect?
It WOULD be nice if the FMIL would gift a mortgage. I honestly don't think I could accept something like that, though, even if we paid her back. Well, after tomorrow, no more looking! lol

Mad, you're probably right. I know I'll prolly come home in a piss poor mood. It's too late to back out now, though.

I guess we'll just see how it goes.

 

[lin_ny]

Hi Ladies!

I have an update. I finally had a chance to speak with SO yesterday evening. After much discussion, the decision was made to wait until he saves the original funds we planned to get me a larger carat ring. He made it very clear that he doesnt want to finance any part of the ring it so it looks like I might be on the wait list for another 5 months.

So here's to driving myself crazy for a few more months and continue to look at diamonds and question my choices and top favorite settings. Haha.

PS: After our chat I got sad and went on youtube to check out diamond videos and make myself smile . I hadn't really ever paid attention at AVC's before. WOAHZA! Beautiful. This videos in particular brought me out of my gloomy state last night: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZ6-SUphWY4 and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7tiEaYnyuw&feature=endscreen&NR=1

DROOL.

Those AVCs are TDF. If I had all the money in the world, besides a 2ct OEC, I'd want a 2ct AVC. The faceting is amazing.

Don't feel down about the 'money' stuff. My SO will end up financing a lot of my ring because he has a line of credit (even though the total cost should be around $3200). It's not a good feeling. Also, you're gonna have a gigantic diamond. You aren't even allowed to be sad!

 

[lin_ny]

Thanks Lin. Unfortunately, I have confirmation to view the townhouse tomorrow evening. I'm not too hyped about it, mainly 'cause M's soooo not into it. Also knowing that nothing will come out of it has kept my emotions low. I almost feel really bad for the guy, seeing as how it's almost a waste of his time. However, it's free- so what do they expect?
It WOULD be nice if the FMIL would gift a mortgage. I honestly don't think I could accept something like that, though, even if we paid her back. Well, after tomorrow, no more looking! lol

Mad, you're probably right. I know I'll prolly come home in a piss poor mood. It's too late to back out now, though.

I guess we'll just see how it goes.

Doesn't that just kill you?

Like why can't they just be into it for 5 mins or 24 hours or whatever it takes just to make you happy? Seems simple to me. Not always simple to them.

 

[LoveLikeCrazy]

Mbkrh have fun viewing the townhouse. I feel slightly differently than the others. SO and I looked at a new construction neighborhood that is on the 5th phase and possibly expanding two more. We decided now was the time to get out and find neighborhoods we would like to live in. We saw the model. Fell in love and then realized the last phase would be this summer! Bummer, since I don't finish school till next summer! We are looking to buy a house fall 2014. Although the house was EVERYTHING WE WANTED and more, we realize that there are other houses out there and it just made our resolve to get our finances together to be able to get a house ASAP. I think it's good to look at a bunch of diff types of houses too, just to see what you can/won't compromise on. I can guarantee your list of must haves will be diff than your SO! It did bum me out to come home to our apt, but I realize I'm a semi broke college student and our apt is more than nice, (huge 1100 sq ft 1 bedroom in an old mill).

In our case we have narrowed down must haves/nice to have/don't need. We are looking for new construction which is quite sparse in our area so it's a little tougher for us, but we still peruse realtor.com for almost new houses.

Once you figure out what you both want you can start weeding out listings and if FMIL is willing to help out, it's better to have a really good starter place that you are both happy with, than a more impulse but because it was there and you wanted it!

Have fun and report back on how it goes

 

[MBKRH]

Well, the agent had a closing that took longer than expected. He sent me a text asking if we could reschedule. I said sure... but I won't be calling to reschedule. I have taken this as a sign that we aren't ready to look at houses, financially or otherwise.
I dunno. I'm in such a bad mood right now. That's just SO LIKE MY LIFE. Nothing can f***ing work out the first time around. I understand things happen, but I kid you not.... something always ruins my plans immediately. I feel like god's puppet.

 

[Ms_Lovely]

I have a little news:

My honey purchased a center stone for my ER!! I'm sooo excited!!!!! I know it won't be long. He still has to choose a setting. I really like a Tiffany RB Ribbon replica that is made by Stuller but I think he's choosing between it and possibly having something custom-ish done with a gabriel setting that's also reminiscent of the Tiffany Ribbon ring. I'm no longer allowed to know what's going on so I'm picking up cursory info Also, his brother will be going to Turkey to tutor for a year this May so I have a feeling that he will propose before his brother leaves. He'll want him stateside so they can celebrate...I think Anyway, I'm excited, I can't wait to see what my ring will look like!

 

[BriBee]

^^^ Congrats Ms_Lovely!!! Such an exciting time, can't wait to see what he picks! When I found out FI had purchased a center stone I had trouble sleeping for a few nights, so good luck with that!

 

[lin_ny]

Ms_Lovely! Congrats lady!! Welcome to purgatory! hehehe

On my end of things... I'm dying. But trying to patiently wait and not be a nag. It's hard.

 

[maple2012]

Congrats Ms_Lovely!!! I stopped by Tiffany's today (I'm an addict!) and finally saw the Tiffany RB Ribbon in person! Very lovely! How exciting!

 

[Ms_Lovely]

^^^ Congrats Ms_Lovely!!! Such an exciting time, can't wait to see what he picks! When I found out FI had purchased a center stone I had trouble sleeping for a few nights, so good luck with that!

It's had the opposite effect for me. I've been sleeping like a friggin baby! I've been waiting so long for this and it's finally going to happen

 

[Ms_Lovely]

Congrats Ms_Lovely!!! I stopped by Tiffany's today (I'm an addict!) and finally saw the Tiffany RB Ribbon in person! Very lovely! How exciting!

I will eventually upgrade to the Tiffany! However, right now I just want my ring and my proposal