Updates, anyone?

[mandasand]

Okay ladies...I'm starting to get really frustrated...I need some kind of encouragement. My BF and I started seriously talking about getting engaged in December. I gave him some ideas in January. He never did anything. A little over a month ago, we talked about it again and since I changed my mind (from a RB in a cushion halo setting to an AVC with a more simple setting or the original halo setting or whatever) he asked me to send him links to stones and settings and then he would pick. I actually got a lot of advice here and narrowed down to several AVC's and 3 settings. It's been over a month. Still nothing.

I know I should be patient and not pressure, but it is really difficult for me. I think I may be a little crazy at this point. Of course I wanted to help him with my preferences because I'm super picky, but it's all so suspenseful!

*hugs* I'm sure this is stressful. I think madelise has the best insight since this happened to her as well. Thankfully AVCs are easy to shop for since they're all cut beautifully. Tell him your color and clarity tolerances/preferences and your ratio preference (square or rectangular) and tell him to contact Jon at GOG when he's ready. That way you get what you want and your hands off. NO freaking out when "your" diamond sells. It isn't yours until he puts it on your finger. I'd just put the ball back in his court. Say that HE brought it up 8-9 months ago and you feel that little progress has been made. Tell him your stepping back, what you want, and let him take over. I hope things turn around soon and he surprises you!

That is what happened a month ago. I gave him all the info and stepped away. I hadn't discussed it with him months prior to that. I'm just waiting again!! GOG did a video for us and sent some additional pics. We also worked with Leigh Jay Nachts on settings. He has all this info. Im probably just being too impatient!!

Girllllllll! If ya'll are contacting GOG for videos and photos, I'd say that's progress!! I totally got the impression that he was just "meh" about the whole thing. LOL! You're in much better shoes than I was in! Looks like you'll be off the market sooner than you think!

Hahah...he wasn't "meh" to start with when he asked me in December to start giving him ideas. But, he didn't want to go shopping with me and then he caved and went. He was pretty "meh" after that until last month when we talked about it again. This whole time he said he "has a plan" but I think the plan has a moving target. I don't doubt his commitment but it is like we are already married. We have a house, my dog is now his dog, we both have an equal financial responsibility in our partnership. Plan or not, he is the master at devising plans and surprises with me having no idea. He's like a ninja!

 

[Chewbacca]

Mandasand, I hope your SO is being suuuuuper ninja and doing things secretly RIGHT NOW! Or at least very very soon!

Updates for me: I made a pact with myself to relax up on engagement talk until spring. Since we are in September now, I guess I can start up again! I want to get married in late spring, so theoretically if next year is The Year, an engagement should be somewhere in the November 2012 - April 2013 bracket. I hope you will all be ready with the proverbial tissues if that time comes and goes without event!

No really though, I have my limits! Do any of you ladies have a limit to the length of LIW madness you can endure?

 

[PhillyMcGee]

Well I managed to slyly bring up ring topic again yesterday haha! We were shopping and went into a jewellery shop to look at earrings as I wanted to lool at some diamond studs. I asked to see cushion cut studs (didn't buy any though) and then started prattling on about how cushion is my favourite, and my OH said 'I thought you liked princess cuts?' which was weird as I don't like them much at all, so told him this and he told me he had asked a friend of mine (well, she's not a close friend but one of his friend's fiancé....I like her but she's not close to me really) and she told him I loved princess cuts! I might have said that to her as she has a princess cut ring and that would be the only time I have ever discussed rings with her, when admiring hers . Anyway I quickly set him straight that I like cushion first and RB second, and he pulls out his phone mumbling something about changing his notes haha!! I was a bit shocked but afterwards thought I should have seized the opportunity to show him a ring I do like, as we were walking past the very shop I had seen and tried it on!
But at least I know he is onto it if he has notes on his phone (that I badly want to read!!!). Now I am annoyed I missed that chance, and also didn't tell him if he wants help he should speak to my best friend who I have discussed this at length with as she is also impatiently waiting on her OH to propose!

 

[audball]

Well I managed to slyly bring up ring topic again yesterday haha! We were shopping and went into a jewellery shop to look at earrings as I wanted to lool at some diamond studs. I asked to see cushion cut studs (didn't buy any though) and then started prattling on about how cushion is my favourite, and my OH said 'I thought you liked princess cuts?' which was weird as I don't like them much at all, so told him this and he told me he had asked a friend of mine (well, she's not a close friend but one of his friend's fiancé....I like her but she's not close to me really) and she told him I loved princess cuts! I might have said that to her as she has a princess cut ring and that would be the only time I have ever discussed rings with her, when admiring hers . Anyway I quickly set him straight that I like cushion first and RB second, and he pulls out his phone mumbling something about changing his notes haha!! I was a bit shocked but afterwards thought I should have seized the opportunity to show him a ring I do like, as we were walking past the very shop I had seen and tried it on!
But at least I know he is onto it if he has notes on his phone (that I badly want to read!!!). Now I am annoyed I missed that chance, and also didn't tell him if he wants help he should speak to my best friend who I have discussed this at length with as she is also impatiently waiting on her OH to propose!

SO good that he has notes! And that he found out NOW that it's NOT princess cuts that you like!!
Baby steps...this was definitely a positive step in the right direction!

 

[pandabee]

Well I managed to slyly bring up ring topic again yesterday haha! We were shopping and went into a jewellery shop to look at earrings as I wanted to lool at some diamond studs. I asked to see cushion cut studs (didn't buy any though) and then started prattling on about how cushion is my favourite, and my OH said 'I thought you liked princess cuts?' which was weird as I don't like them much at all, so told him this and he told me he had asked a friend of mine (well, she's not a close friend but one of his friend's fiancé....I like her but she's not close to me really) and she told him I loved princess cuts! I might have said that to her as she has a princess cut ring and that would be the only time I have ever discussed rings with her, when admiring hers . Anyway I quickly set him straight that I like cushion first and RB second, and he pulls out his phone mumbling something about changing his notes haha!! I was a bit shocked but afterwards thought I should have seized the opportunity to show him a ring I do like, as we were walking past the very shop I had seen and tried it on!
But at least I know he is onto it if he has notes on his phone (that I badly want to read!!!). Now I am annoyed I missed that chance, and also didn't tell him if he wants help he should speak to my best friend who I have discussed this at length with as she is also impatiently waiting on her OH to propose!

aww the note mumbling is so cute! good to know he has notes for you!! do you know if he is still saving money or he is ready to buy and just needs your final preferences?

 

[PhillyMcGee]

I don't think he has much money saved now as he hasn't had much work on lately so wouldn't be able to save much. He has all this stuff lined up but nothing will start for 1-2 months which is annoying for the moment. Also I am starting my new job today! I was in my old job for 3 years do a bit nervous that I won't know what I am doing.

 

[Chewbacca]

Nnnnngggghhhhhhh. Need to vent.

Just heard through the family-in-law grape vine that SO's brother is saving up to buy a ring. I could hazard a pretty safe guess on a proposal on their anniversary which is in October(?).

NOT THAT IT MATTERS, but I just have to say it to SOMEONE (and I know you ladies will let me!): SO and I are the oldest and we have been dating coming up to six years. The next brother and his SO, are approaching their one year anniversary (and engagement I would guess!). His youngest brother and his SO got engaged at 19 after two years dating, married at 20.

I kind of want to cry a little bit. Need the shock to wear off! I absolutely over the top love this brother and SO, so I will be VERY EXCITED in due course! Help me get there ladies!

 

[audball]

I don't think he has much money saved now as he hasn't had much work on lately so wouldn't be able to save much. He has all this stuff lined up but nothing will start for 1-2 months which is annoying for the moment. Also I am starting my new job today! I was in my old job for 3 years do a bit nervous that I won't know what I am doing.

Good luck on the new job! Just focus on that for a little while and maybe the engagement will be here before you know it!

 

[audball]

Nnnnngggghhhhhhh. Need to vent.

Just heard through the family-in-law grape vine that SO's brother is saving up to buy a ring. I could hazard a pretty safe guess on a proposal on their anniversary which is in October(?).

NOT THAT IT MATTERS, but I just have to say it to SOMEONE (and I know you ladies will let me!): SO and I are the oldest and we have been dating coming up to six years. The next brother and his SO, are approaching their one year anniversary (and engagement I would guess!). His youngest brother and his SO got engaged at 19 after two years dating, married at 20.

I kind of want to cry a little bit. Need the shock to wear off! I absolutely over the top love this brother and SO, so I will be VERY EXCITED in due course! Help me get there ladies!

Aww, hugs! I know it can be frustrating to feel usurped by others who haven't been dating as long, who are younger than you, or a myriad of other reasons. I know you're happy for them deep down and this place of sadness is because of *you and your relationship* and not *them*. Try and remember that separation when you hear the news officially and just remember that you WILL have your moment too!

Did you participate in the family and engagements thread? Do you think your BF would be likely to put off getting engaged for awhile because of his brother?

Whether it's a relative, a friend, or a random acquaintance on FB, seeing someone else get engaged when it's all you want is hard. Try not to vent to your boyfriend about it and come talk to us when you feel sad!

 

[jitterymo]

Nnnnngggghhhhhhh. Need to vent.

Just heard through the family-in-law grape vine that SO's brother is saving up to buy a ring. I could hazard a pretty safe guess on a proposal on their anniversary which is in October(?).

NOT THAT IT MATTERS, but I just have to say it to SOMEONE (and I know you ladies will let me!): SO and I are the oldest and we have been dating coming up to six years. The next brother and his SO, are approaching their one year anniversary (and engagement I would guess!). His youngest brother and his SO got engaged at 19 after two years dating, married at 20.

I kind of want to cry a little bit. Need the shock to wear off! I absolutely over the top love this brother and SO, so I will be VERY EXCITED in due course! Help me get there ladies!

I so know how you feel! I was dating a guy for almost 6 years when my sister and her boyfriend of 8 months announced they were pregnant and getting married in three weeks.... I was just beside myself... especially since she is almost 4 years younger as well...

Their marriage ended up being one of the best things that ever happened in my life, and my niece is the love of my life (besides T of course, but pretty darn close).

 

[jitterymo]

Nnnnngggghhhhhhh. Need to vent.

Just heard through the family-in-law grape vine that SO's brother is saving up to buy a ring. I could hazard a pretty safe guess on a proposal on their anniversary which is in October(?).

NOT THAT IT MATTERS, but I just have to say it to SOMEONE (and I know you ladies will let me!): SO and I are the oldest and we have been dating coming up to six years. The next brother and his SO, are approaching their one year anniversary (and engagement I would guess!). His youngest brother and his SO got engaged at 19 after two years dating, married at 20.

I kind of want to cry a little bit. Need the shock to wear off! I absolutely over the top love this brother and SO, so I will be VERY EXCITED in due course! Help me get there ladies!

I so know how you feel! I was dating a guy for almost 6 years when my sister and her boyfriend of 8 months announced they were pregnant and getting married in three weeks.... I was just beside myself... especially since she is almost 4 years younger as well...

Their marriage ended up being one of the best things that ever happened in my life, and my niece is the love of my life (besides T of course, but pretty darn close).

 

[LoveLikeCrazy]

Not much going on here except I have started nursing school and poor SO has been kicked out of the apt every chance I can get him out so I can study! I was hoping we'd have a day free where we could head to NY and go see my AVC's but it's not looking like I will have that chance till my break in January! SO refuses to buy sight unseen, so I won't complain about a bling trip. At this time I am also going to narrow it down to two settings (a classic Tiffany like solitaire or a Novo style) and from that point he will have the reins and surprise me! He is OK about purchasing online after he has seen an AVC in person. So...nothing big going on here but SOMETHING to look forward to soon!

 

[Chewbacca]

Thanks so much Aud, and ILS. I really appreciate your replying! I really needed to be reasoned with!

I am super excited for SO's brother. He and his SO are two of my most dear friends, I really love them to smithereens! I really cannot think of a better addition to the family, she outshines me and the other add-on-in-law in a big way! So I can relate to what you are saying, ILS!

Aud, I think I might have to ask a few questions of SO tonight! I feel that perhaps a little clarity would not go amiss. I'm dying to nail down even a vague timeline! Aside from his knowing I want a Spring wedding I have no idea, gosh it could be any Spring from here on out! (Except that my boots will be made for walking by that stage, eeeek.)

 

[star sparkle]

Nnnnngggghhhhhhh. Need to vent.

Just heard through the family-in-law grape vine that SO's brother is saving up to buy a ring. I could hazard a pretty safe guess on a proposal on their anniversary which is in October(?).

NOT THAT IT MATTERS, but I just have to say it to SOMEONE (and I know you ladies will let me!): SO and I are the oldest and we have been dating coming up to six years. The next brother and his SO, are approaching their one year anniversary (and engagement I would guess!). His youngest brother and his SO got engaged at 19 after two years dating, married at 20.

I kind of want to cry a little bit. Need the shock to wear off! I absolutely over the top love this brother and SO, so I will be VERY EXCITED in due course! Help me get there ladies!

HUGE hugs, I definitely know the feeling!

One of my BFF's was dating this guy, and she was always the type who said she was never going to get married because that wasn't the life she was interested in. She started dating him 5 months or so before I started dating my FI, and just over a year later I get a text saying that she's engaged! I was over the moon happy for her, but part of me was also bitter that she was engaged and I wasn't, when she was the one who always said she didn't want to get married and marriage has always been something I wanted in my future.

So then a year after that, FI and I went to her wedding in the Virgin Islands, and I STILL wasn't engaged! Again, I was so thrilled for her and her now-DH because I could tell how happy they were together, but I was still sad and down on myself for not being engaged.

Four months later FI proposed, and now we're planning our wedding and I can't even remember why or how I ever felt that way. I'm so happy with where we are and the paths our lives are on, it truly couldn't be more perfect.

As aud said, your time will come! And when it does, it'll be AMAZING! In the meantime, you'll just be the supportive FSIL, and you can use this time of other peoples' weddings to figure out what you do and don't like in a wedding! That way you'll be super prepared when it's time for yours.

 

[PhillyMcGee]

Well today I tried on another ring that I LOVED. And the best part is, it's very very affordable I have found I am preferring smaller diamonds than I thought! And to be honest, while a $10k ring would be nice, I would rather spend that money on other things, like holidays! Saving for a super expensive ring is never going to be achievable any time soon, and I really loved this ring I tried today, which is less than half the price of another I tried on that I didn't like quite so much

What I want is a cushion in a halo. A few months ago I tried on two similar styles, one 1/2 carat centre stone and one 1 carat centre stone. I preferred the 1/2 carat but there was a small thing about this ring I didn't like (due to the gallery design, wedding band would have a huuuuge gap, but the ring was beautiful by itself). Today I tried on one that was actually a .35 princess cut (upon close examination) with a cushion shaped halo, it actually had a tiny inner halo almost underneath the centre stone as well which made it really melt together. It has pave down the side of the shank and plain on top, and surprise sapphires in the gallery (love sapphires!). The profile is beautiful and I was shocked to hear the size of the stone as it is much bigger (all up) than the .5 I tried on. I think this is because a princess faces up bigger than a cushion, plus it had the extra inner halo too. I know I said I don't like princess cuts but it's the overall shape of a cushion I am after, and the stone really melts into the halo. I really love it! And the price is half of the .5 I tried on before!! I think this may be the one I am going to try it on one more time to be sure and will show my OH

 

[audball]

Thanks so much Aud, and ILS. I really appreciate your replying! I really needed to be reasoned with!

I am super excited for SO's brother. He and his SO are two of my most dear friends, I really love them to smithereens! I really cannot think of a better addition to the family, she outshines me and the other add-on-in-law in a big way! So I can relate to what you are saying, ILS!

Aud, I think I might have to ask a few questions of SO tonight! I feel that perhaps a little clarity would not go amiss. I'm dying to nail down even a vague timeline! Aside from his knowing I want a Spring wedding I have no idea, gosh it could be any Spring from here on out! (Except that my boots will be made for walking by that stage, eeeek.)

See! It'll all be fine! I think discussing a timeline is good for you both. It helps you both be on the same page and keeps you away from the wondering why it's not happening yet business.

 

[audball]

Well today I tried on another ring that I LOVED. And the best part is, it's very very affordable I have found I am preferring smaller diamonds than I thought! And to be honest, while a $10k ring would be nice, I would rather spend that money on other things, like holidays! Saving for a super expensive ring is never going to be achievable any time soon, and I really loved this ring I tried today, which is less than half the price of another I tried on that I didn't like quite so much

What I want is a cushion in a halo. A few months ago I tried on two similar styles, one 1/2 carat centre stone and one 1 carat centre stone. I preferred the 1/2 carat but there was a small thing about this ring I didn't like (due to the gallery design, wedding band would have a huuuuge gap, but the ring was beautiful by itself). Today I tried on one that was actually a .35 princess cut (upon close examination) with a cushion shaped halo, it actually had a tiny inner halo almost underneath the centre stone as well which made it really melt together. It has pave down the side of the shank and plain on top, and surprise sapphires in the gallery (love sapphires!). The profile is beautiful and I was shocked to hear the size of the stone as it is much bigger (all up) than the .5 I tried on. I think this is because a princess faces up bigger than a cushion, plus it had the extra inner halo too. I know I said I don't like princess cuts but it's the overall shape of a cushion I am after, and the stone really melts into the halo. I really love it! And the price is half of the .5 I tried on before!! I think this may be the one I am going to try it on one more time to be sure and will show my OH

OoOooOo!!!!! I can't wait to hear what your BF thinks!

 

[LJL]

Let us know what happens with the new ring find, Philly!

Sorry for how youre feeling Chewbacca. I think time will go by and it will get better? I had a similar situation - my SO's brother got engaged and married both within the last 1.5 years (i think?) and they have been dating for the same amount of time we have. I think there was definitely an understanding that we would not "interfere" in some way by interrupting their wedding cycle or whatever you want to call it. Its tough but sometimes you just gotta reflect on your own relationship and how happy you are. I think "what would it really mean in terms of practical life changes if we were engaged?" Nothing. "If we were married?" Nothing. Think of how lucky you are and try to enjoy every stage of life.... I hate the feeling of wishing time/life away

...as for me, the ring has been ordered ...and I think SO paid? Idk, he said he would wait until I "deserved it" and then pay in the moment. lol sometimes he is so crazy. Doesnt matter- just has to be paid before its shipped which is ~4weeks allegedly. I think he paid for it today, SHRUG. I will be so happy to have this process over with...even now that everything has been ordered and settled, I get paranoid that it will come back and I wont like it or that it will look really yellow in that setting. you know, the crazy waiting thoughts. i hope this time passes quickly so i dont go nuts.

 

[audball]

Its tough but sometimes you just gotta reflect on your own relationship and how happy you are. I think "what would it really mean in terms of practical life changes if we were engaged?" Nothing. "If we were married?" Nothing. Think of how lucky you are and try to enjoy every stage of life.... I hate the feeling of wishing time/life away

VERY good point LJL. Nice reminder. Your ring is in sight! The weeks will feel like they drag on and on but it'll be here and on your finger before you know it!

AFM: Andrew has said some things recently that really make me think he may be making plans for the end of the year!

 

[pandabee]

Its tough but sometimes you just gotta reflect on your own relationship and how happy you are. I think "what would it really mean in terms of practical life changes if we were engaged?" Nothing. "If we were married?" Nothing. Think of how lucky you are and try to enjoy every stage of life.... I hate the feeling of wishing time/life away

VERY good point LJL. Nice reminder. Your ring is in sight! The weeks will feel like they drag on and on but it'll be here and on your finger before you know it!

AFM: Andrew has said some things recently that really make me think he may be making plans for the end of the year!

aww LJL the end is near!!!! great way of putting things in perspective...

omg audball!!! how sweet...I have a feeling he will come through for you!!! he seems like he would do whatever it takes to make you happy, so **dust** to you for a christmastime surprise!!!

 

[PhillyMcGee]

Ok I changed my mind about the ring I saw. It was beautiful and while affordable not really value for money as it was from a retail store and I live in Perth, Australia which means everything is horribly overpriced! And also I have decided I do want an actual cushion, not a princess in a cushion halo. I did tell my OH about it but he didn't say much except for asking where it was from. I really like the idea of having a proposal with a ring, and don't want to 'ruin it' as such by having chosen or designed the ring myself.I am back to my original idea of getting a loose diamond from the US, having it set in a temporary cheapy setting and that can be the proposal ring and then we can design a setting here (and I can wear the temp setting in the meantime). I think next time it comes up I am going to give OH proper info on this, what specs I would like, tell him to contact erd for a cushion and then I don't have to worry about the setting and will get a ring proposal. Plus I am changing my mind about settings every five minutes! My latest idea is a ritani endless love solitaire, and with sapphires instead of diamonds in the band that goes around the gallery

 

[PhillyMcGee]

Oops I *accidentally* tried some more rings on today. I might be a crazy person.....but I HAD to make sure what I think I want is definitely what I want....so tried on loads of other styles just to be sure....

 

[pandabee]

lol Philly!!! no shame, that's totally what you need to do to figure out what it is that you truly like!!

 

[LoveLikeCrazy]

ahhh aud! SOOOO exciting!

 

[LoveLikeCrazy]

...as for me, the ring has been ordered ...and I think SO paid? Idk, he said he would wait until I "deserved it" and then pay in the moment. lol sometimes he is so crazy. Doesnt matter- just has to be paid before its shipped which is ~4weeks allegedly. I think he paid for it today, SHRUG. I will be so happy to have this process over with...even now that everything has been ordered and settled, I get paranoid that it will come back and I wont like it or that it will look really yellow in that setting. you know, the crazy waiting thoughts. i hope this time passes quickly so i dont go nuts.

Can't wait to see that beauty LJL!!!

 

[madelise]

AFM: Andrew has said some things recently that really make me think he may be making plans for the end of the year!

Alright, SPILL THE BEANS! What's going on, and what is AFM? I just did a google search, and I got:

American Federation of Musicians
American Film Market
Atomic Force Microscopy
American Federation of Motorcyclists
Adventist Frontier Missions


WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? lol. None of those have anything to do with bling or engagements!

 

[audball]

AFM: Andrew has said some things recently that really make me think he may be making plans for the end of the year!

Alright, SPILL THE BEANS! What's going on, and what is AFM? I just did a google search, and I got:

American Federation of Musicians
American Film Market
Atomic Force Microscopy
American Federation of Motorcyclists
Adventist Frontier Missions


WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? lol. None of those have anything to do with bling or engagements!

Hahahah! I'll come back and post more later...SOOO busy at work today! But AFM is an acronym for "As for me".

 

[madelise]

Ok I changed my mind about the ring I saw. It was beautiful and while affordable not really value for money as it was from a retail store and I live in Perth, Australia which means everything is horribly overpriced! And also I have decided I do want an actual cushion, not a princess in a cushion halo. I did tell my OH about it but he didn't say much except for asking where it was from. I really like the idea of having a proposal with a ring, and don't want to 'ruin it' as such by having chosen or designed the ring myself.I am back to my original idea of getting a loose diamond from the US, having it set in a temporary cheapy setting and that can be the proposal ring and then we can design a setting here (and I can wear the temp setting in the meantime). I think next time it comes up I am going to give OH proper info on this, what specs I would like, tell him to contact erd for a cushion and then I don't have to worry about the setting and will get a ring proposal. Plus I am changing my mind about settings every five minutes! My latest idea is a ritani endless love solitaire, and with sapphires instead of diamonds in the band that goes around the gallery

No shame in trying on a million rings! You gotta know what you love before you settle No point wasting a purchase if you don't love everything about it!

 

[madelise]

AFM: Andrew has said some things recently that really make me think he may be making plans for the end of the year!

Alright, SPILL THE BEANS! What's going on, and what is AFM? I just did a google search, and I got:

American Federation of Musicians
American Film Market
Atomic Force Microscopy
American Federation of Motorcyclists
Adventist Frontier Missions


WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? lol. None of those have anything to do with bling or engagements!

Hahahah! I'll come back and post more later...SOOO busy at work today! But AFM is an acronym for "As for me".

Oh phooey! Busy, schmisy. You aren't too busy to check PS! SPILL IT, girl. You know you wanna gush!!

 

[madelise]

Nnnnngggghhhhhhh.

Haha. I read that. Out loud. I sounded like a baby trying to go #2. And I giggled for a bit, HEHEHE.