Wanting but Waiting...

[StacylikesSparkles]

Avia, that is AWESOME!! I love that you were both on the same page with starting to try and how sweet of him to make a card letting you know that he is right there with you! Plus, how terrific that you're able to put more money into the baby fund!

So....what kind of Christmas goodies did he get you?! DH made me this fun mirror out of an old shutter for me, he also bought me this great little Harry Potter ornament with a time turner necklace in it (LOVE!) and he even gave me these cute chevron pillow covers, two in gray and two in purple with our last name initial on them...who knew he would know to get me such fun things! Those were a few of my favorites but he did me more goodies. He said the pillow covers reminded him of our wedding invitations (they have a purple chevron boarder), so I just LOVED that he saw them and thought of us!

Right now, DH and I are saving money for a car that we will be purchasing within the first quarter of next year. This will be our first big purchase together after getting married and it will be a nice 4-door something to help accommodate for baby After that, all extra money will be going into savings for when I'm off work with the kiddo. Our plan is to have me stay home for at least 6 months and then go back part time, so I will be curbing my spending after the car and trying to save as much as possible. We don't want a car payment, which is why we're saving up instead of just going out and buying one. But after the nice little snow storm we had yesterday, we will be looking into a more 'snow friendly' vehicle, as I need all of us to be safe while driving. I currently drive a small 2-door sporty car and that is just idiotic to drive around in during the winter lol...I left work early and it still doubled my commute time due to the weather.

 

[aviastar]

Stacey, what kind of cars are you looking at? Cars are a constant discussion at our house; we each have a truck/SUV with four wheel (which I refuse to give up), with four doors, so good for car seats, but then there are the two antique cars sitting in the garage that ALWAYS need something and are each only two-seaters...at least I convinced him to sell the motorcycle this year! We've talked about an AWD, four door, more fuel efficient car after my Jeep kicks the bucket; Subaru comes up fairly often and I think we'll look seriously at them when the time comes.

Ohhhhhh, did he spoil me this year! I am always cold; so there was a definite theme this year: fleece lined house slippers, full length down coat, down mittens, ear muffs, new winter boots. HAHA, no more excuses for not attending games this year (he's a coach at the local high school in the spring- games start in Feb and IT'S COLD OUT THERE!) Plus some gift cards for new work clothes and a few trinkets.

And in true PS style- a demantoid garnet and argyle diamond pearl enhancer!! Spoiled, I tell ya.

Your DH is too sweet, Stacey, with the pillows like your invitations! I love it! I didn't want to threadjack your SMTB thread, but my wedding band is rose gold and platinum, too!! We really are twins; I don't like to post a lot of pictures, even of my bling, cause it's fairly recognizable, and anonymity is pretty important to me, but if I recall correctly, you are outside Baltimore and I'm outside NoVa, so we might just have to find a way to meet up one of these days

How did everyone else's holidays go?

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

We haven't actually decided on what kind of car just yet, but I have also heard about Subaru. I plan on getting crazy with investigation the closer we are to being able to purchase. I think realistically it'll be around March, so we shall see. I just know it will definitely be 4 doors and I'd like it to be 4-wheel drive. An AWD but probably not an SUV as they are just too large and don't get great gas mileage. I want something that works for baby seats and snow lol

What a sweet hubs you have! I love that he decked you out in warm gear! Hopefully you'll be all comfy and cozy when you're watching his next game

Oh my goodness...you and I are so similar! I love it!! Actually, if you check out my wedding photographer on facebook, I'm on there and you can send me a message if you'd like. I am all for seeing pretty rings and having coffee or chai with a fabulous lady!!

...so as a random thing; is it bad that I already know what I'd like for my 'push present'?! I have everything in mind and plan on sending him the information as soon as we find out I'm pregnant...bahaha! Nothing like planning ahead, right?!

 

[blacksand]

I'm officially rejoining this thread as a married lady. I've been wanting but waiting for ages, but now that we are married it seems that much more real. We really have no business having a baby now as I just lost my job a week before the wedding, and DH is working as a contractor for now, with no job security and no benefits. He's also coming off of almost a year of unemployment. So we are not in a great position financially at all. But everyone has been talking babies since the wedding day, and my heart longs for it.

I went off the pill several months ago because DH and I originally wanted to TTC right after the wedding (that, and it was giving me crazy mood swings). I've been temping and charting, and we've been kind of sort of avoiding my most fertile time, but to be honest, we haven't been trying all that hard to prevent anything from happening. We were also really stressed and busy in the weeks leading up to the wedding, so there wasn't really a whole lot of action anyway. But I'll be honest. I've been sick to my stomach every day since the wedding (a week ago today). Light nausea throughout the day, sometimes vomiting in the morning. The smell of foods I normally enjoy has been making me ill. A few of my relatives have been sick with a stomach virus since the wedding, so I told myself that was what I had, too. But yesterday, I was telling my new SIL about my symptoms, and she lit right up and asked me if I was sure it was just a stomach bug. I assured her that it was, but inwardly, I wondered. I know we are not in a position to get pregnant right now, but what if we were? What if it just happened? Well, today, I got my period. So it was not to be, not this time. I am just a cranky woman with menstrual cramps and a stomach virus. But I can't help thinking about what it would be like if we did get pregnant now. It's the worst possible time for it. But I wonder when it will be a good time. DH and I need to rework our whole plan now and figure this out. Looks like it will be more waiting for now....

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

Hey there Blacksand! Welcome! I remember from BIW that you had lost your job (which sucks!). How is it going with the other position that you applied for? Did you hear anything back? Hopefully your DH will be brought on full time shortly and then you can start really planning out for baby. While you're not doing anything to prevent babies, do you know when you'll actually starts to 'try'? Like, when you will have sex during super fertile times with the intent to get pregnant? If you're trying to wait due to the job situation, are you going to start using some sort of bc? Honestly, I think it'll happen when you're ready for it to happen (even if you're not working again). I totally think baby fever set in even more right after DH and I got married, but to have a date to get started really helps put things into perspective and help us to have a count down to getting started. I still can't believe it's this year!

 

[gem_anemone]

Hey blacksand! Congrats on your marriage! When I get some free time I'll have to browse BWW to see if you posted anything! Hoping you find a job soon.

Stacy I'm stoked for you that your DH is on board with everything!

I'm sort of bummed about how DH has reacted to the July TTC timeline. We've been talking about trying after our first anniversary (July). He told me that I could stop BCP whenever, he knew I was talking to my dr and I shared with him everything she said. Then when we were talking and I specifically mentioned July he got all weird. Like maybe that was too soon? Or too finite? I don't know. This happened when I was LIW too. I think some things just need to sink in with him before he is ok with it. After all July is only 7 months away (although when we were waiting for the wedding it seemed like an eternity!). I've been trying to feel him out with why he reacted that way. Sometimes I get the impression that July is too far away and some times he says he's not ready to be a dad. Then on Xmas we were around a puppy and he said lets get one of those instead of a baby. I called him out and said 'sure', but he didn't seem happy with that response. Sometimes I wonder if he is worried I am the one who doesn't want kids. Then my brother didn't help matters and made a snide comment about how I'm never having kids. Ugh.

I now feel weird that I wrote all of this because I know the advice will be to sit down and have a serious chat with him. I will, but just not now. I think I will revisit the serious conversation in July.

Hang in there WBW ladies and happy new year!

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

Gem - Thanks! But let me tell you, it took him a few days to have it really sink in, so don't worry about your DH. Let me tell you, at the end of Nov/beginning of Dec, I told DH that I wanted to get of the pill after my last pack so I could flush all the bad stuff out of my system before we actually start to try. He at first got really worried that I wanted to get pregnant right then, to which I explained about how the pill is bad and I surely don't want to rush getting started until it is fully out of my system. I think he was worried that being off the pill meant no bc usage. Then I was talking to him about possibly starting earlier than we originally talked about (starting in April/May instead of August/September) and he stated that he wasn't sure he was ready and that he was a little panicked. At that point I pointed out that we certainly don't have to try any earlier, but in all reality, his/our time frame was only 9 months away and that in all actuality, it isn't that far. In pointing out that information, he took a deep breath and thanked me for actually being on top of everything. I think that he didn't realize how soon we were actually going to start trying (boys really don't think about this stuff and the August/September plan was his idea to begin with), but by me mapping everything out for him, he became more on board with everything. He is actually super supportive and said that if we have any surprises or anything he will actually be pretty excited about it. But it took a few weeks for him to really be more comfortable with things. He is 3 years younger than me (he'll be 27 in Feb) and while I know he wants babies, he isn't planning everything out in his head like I am. I think that has a lot to do with the fact that it is my body, so I'm doing all the extra research and such. Your DH will come around. I don't think a long sit-down talk is in order right now, but keep having chats about things and he will totally become more excited and on-board with things! I almost panicked when DH said he was worried he wasn't ready, but a month later and he is so on it with everything. We may try early (in fact, I think after we buy a newer car, we will), but I told him there is no pressure and we can stick to the original date and we will go from there. Don't worry, he will totally come around and probably sooner than you think!!

 

[gem_anemone]

Oh wow! Thanks for the insight! My DH will be almost 27 by the time we start to try for a baby and yes he is the younger of us. I'll have just turned 34 by the time we have our first baby and he'll still be 27! Uggghhhhh!

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

Oh wow! Thanks for the insight! My DH will be almost 27 by the time we start to try for a baby and yes he is the younger of us. I'll have just turned 34 by the time we have our first baby and he'll still be 27! Uggghhhhh!

No worries at all! I just wanted you to know that while DH is awesome now, the first few days after I talked about going off the bcp, he was a bit anxious. I think it's totally normal though. I think I read somewhere that men aren't ever really ready until you actually hand them the baby lol...women are ready well before conception. It's just how we roll. Don't worry though, it'll all work out! After DH thanked me for being on top of everything, he also said he thought it was good that one of us was really all over the planning and he was glad that I want to take the time to learn more about my body for our future babies. Good luck, Gem! It won't be long until your DH is saying crazy baby things!

 

[aviastar]

Hi Blacksand!! Congrats on your wedding! Obviously, all of us here are planners , but I do really agree with you- when is there ever a perfect time for baby? Maybe this IS your perfect time because you can stay at home the first year while looking for a job; maybe not. Fiances and stuff are important- very important- and should be taken into consideration, but I think being 'ready' has more to do with your heart than your bank account. Maybe I should look into being one those Enablers over in Hangout...

Gem- I'm with Stacey, no big talk necessary. My DH also needs more time than I do for ideas to 'sink in' and get comfy. He'll get more consistent about it naturally, so don't be anxious and overtalk it. After our Christmas convo and the family funeral service we had to attend this weekend ( ), my DH has started bringing up baby names all by himself! I do think I caught him in a bit of a vulnerable moment- he is pretty serious about using his grandmother's name if we have a girl, which is totally fine with me. I certainly don't hope anyone else has the circumstances that got him to that point, but they all have their own processes, ya know?

 

[gem_anemone]

Avia - Sorry to hear about the funeral. That sucks Sorry for your loss...

Thank you ladies for the advice. I feel silly having wrote what I did now. DH and I were talking about what we were going to do for the holidays next year. I mentioned vacationing over New Year's Eve....he said "well aren't you going to be like 8 months pregnant by then?"

!!!!??!??!?!!!!

Is he serious? Can he even do the math?? If I got KU right away after a July TTC month, say by the end of August, I would only be 4 months along. I don't know what he means by that. Either he wants to try earlier than July or the more likely scenario.....he hasn't really thought it through. Ugh. I think I'm starting to see what you ladies mean about the guys being totally clueless....I asked him what season he would like a baby born in. He has no idea. *slaps forehead*

 

[gem_anemone]

We haven't actually decided on what kind of car just yet, but I have also heard about Subaru. I plan on getting crazy with investigation the closer we are to being able to purchase. I think realistically it'll be around March, so we shall see. I just know it will definitely be 4 doors and I'd like it to be 4-wheel drive. An AWD but probably not an SUV as they are just too large and don't get great gas mileage. I want something that works for baby seats and snow lol

Just want to give a +1 to Subaru. DH's last car was an Impreza. They are very good in the snow. I wanted one when I bought my Honda Civic SI, but it I wanted the Premier Edition WRX Impreza new, but it was like 10 grand more than the Civic and the best additional feature was the AWD. Then we bought a house with a gigantic hill for a driveway. Now the 10 grand would have looked a lot better than replacing my new vehicle again. Oh well!

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

Thank you ladies for the advice. I feel silly having wrote what I did now. DH and I were talking about what we were going to do for the holidays next year. I mentioned vacationing over New Year's Eve....he said "well aren't you going to be like 8 months pregnant by then?"

!!!!??!??!?!!!!

Is he serious? /quote]

Boys are just weird I think that while he is saying the whole thing about not being ready, he is still mentally prepping himself because it is inevitable! But I do love him math! Maybe he is bumping up your time frame lol

We haven't actually decided on what kind of car just yet, but I have also heard about Subaru. I plan on getting crazy with investigation the closer we are to being able to purchase. I think realistically it'll be around March, so we shall see. I just know it will definitely be 4 doors and I'd like it to be 4-wheel drive. An AWD but probably not an SUV as they are just too large and don't get great gas mileage. I want something that works for baby seats and snow lol

Just want to give a +1 to Subaru. DH's last car was an Impreza. They are very good in the snow. I wanted one when I bought my Honda Civic SI, but it I wanted the Premier Edition WRX Impreza new, but it was like 10 grand more than the Civic and the best additional feature was the AWD. Then we bought a house with a gigantic hill for a driveway. Now the 10 grand would have looked a lot better than replacing my new vehicle again. Oh well!

Ok, I am going to check out cars more in the coming months. I started to look up a few online, but my heart wasn't really in it. We want to buy used (no car payment), so really we are just trying to bank as much money as possible to get something decent that we can live with for a good while. We will know a more solid budget after taxes come in. After the car, it's on to saving money for kiddos!! I can't even believe that we are planning to be pregnant within this new year! NUTSO!

 

[blacksand]

gem, I'm sure your husband will come around. It sounds like he just doesn't quite understand what he's in for, which I think is pretty common among 20-30-something guys who have no kids! Many of my guy friends have been through the same thing, but they always come around. And they're great dads in the end, they just needed to live it to understand it. They don't seem to actively plan and think ahead about these things as most of my girlfriends. It's a generalization, of course, but I've seen it with many of my friends.

Thanks for your support, ladies! We aren't 100% sure of a timeline at the moment. We had originally planned to TTC right after the wedding. But circumstances just don't allow it. To complicate things, I am planning (if all goes well) to go back to school full time in September to finish my MA (I'm about 80% finished, but I now have to do full time student teaching to finish). So I now need to find a job that will pay decently well for the next 6-9 months, and then probably quit. I will be 32 in February, and DH is 34. We are not super old, but we do want to start TTC as soon as we can. I would, ideally, like to have 3 kids, and that will take some time! It is all very complicated with one unplanned career change and then one planned one in the middle of everything. DH and I talked about it last night, and we are tentatively planning to start trying in October. Yes, while I will be in school. Yes, I realize this is crazy. But it is what honestly makes the most sense given all our circumstances. It is all a little crazy, but we think we can make it work. Honestly, I don't even want to wait that long, but we will see. I am not currently on any birth control; we are just charting and avoiding right now. We are not that careful, honestly. I talked to DH about it, and asked what would happen if we accidentally got pregnant now. He said it would be crazy, but we would work it out. We'd just shuffle things around and make it work. It was nice to know that he wasn't completely freaked out about it. And it was nice to see how my SIL reacted when she briefly thought I might be pregnant. She was thrilled! She knows I'm unemployed and trying to go back to school and everything is crazy in our lives right now. And she was thrilled. It helped me realize that we would have the support of our families no matter what, and we could make it work. So we are shooting for October. And we will see what happens.

 

[aviastar]

Thanks, Gem. My DH is sad, and it shows up in funny places-like he'll get frustrated with something that he normally wouldn't. But she was 87, lived at home, alone, was still driving, and totally with it. She died dressed to the nines, all her jewelry on, surrounded by her family, instantly. No pain, no hard choices. It's what she would have wanted. So it's ok and the sad stuff will go away too, eventually.

I am totally crazy to already be looking at baby furniture and stuff? Here's my thinking; I lurk over in all the preggo threads and one of the main themes seems to be how much there is TO DO before baby arrives. Having just come through a really busy and tough month, one of my main goals for this year to prepare in advance for times I know will be tough. So I want to have my Christmas shopping and decorating done in November this time, and have a freezer full of crock pot meals ready so we can both come home from the slog and still have good, homecooked food. We ate pizza for a month straight and I think good food would help us feel better. A nursery seems like one of those things I could work on before crunch time and be better off for it in the long run.

Second reason- money. We're doing ok and we're saving like crazy in prep for baby, but we're still going to need to be frugal. I have no issues with second hand cribs, dressers- I can refinish them myself if I need to, but probably only if I am not 7 mos preggo at the time. Seems like I will be better able to deal shop if I have more time. Craiglist has a TON of baby furniture (including some antique bassinets I am just dying over here!) and my local Re-Store usually has great stuff.

Third reason- space. Old house=no space. The more time to figure out the right configuartion and storage the better.

I said something about trying to get away with as little as possible to my SIL and she said, 'That's what showers are for!'. But I don't see your regular-church-ladies-old family friends shower attendee buying a crib, dresser, car seat- the really big ticket items. More like diapers, bottles, clothes. Is that right? So I don't plan on stocking up on diapers, more like furniture.

Thoughts? My mom is in the don't get too attached to the idea that you will get KU right away category and thinks I should just take things as they come...but I am already kinda invested in the idea/hope/plan that we will be pregnant by summer and I am such a PLANNER, I can't help myself!

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Aviastar, I'm also a planner and worked on the nursery prior to TTC. I was using a chemical agent to strip paint, plus I wanted to paint prior to being pregnant so I didn't have to worry about it later. The only downside to painting/getting furniture prior to TTC is that everything has to be gender neutral.

Every first-time-mom completely obsesses about the nursery and most don't even use it for months. I recently read an article stating couples should go to marital counseling to prep for baby in lieu of putting together a nursery that won't be used for weeks/months. I think I said "amen" out loud because it's so true.

So from a practical point, do you really need to work on the nursery? Probably not. But I still recommend it. For two reasons: 1. It makes you feel like you're nesting and I think that's healthy and 2. If you are a planner, it makes you feel like you're on top of things and I think every planner needs that to stay sane.

Interestingly one driver of when we will TTC #2 is...home renovations!! We're in the midst of some time-consuming home renovations and I want them all wrapped up before we try again. I can't nest when my house is under construction. Plus the home renovations are causing a leak in our savings account, which gives me anxiety.

 

[aviastar]

Aviastar, I'm also a planner and worked on the nursery prior to TTC. I was using a chemical agent to strip paint, plus I wanted to paint prior to being pregnant so I didn't have to worry about it later. The only downside to painting/getting furniture prior to TTC is that everything has to be gender neutral.

Every first-time-mom completely obsesses about the nursery and most don't even use it for months. I recently read an article stating couples should go to marital counseling to prep for baby in lieu of putting together a nursery that won't be used for weeks/months. I think I said "amen" out loud because it's so true.

So from a practical point, do you really need to work on the nursery? Probably not. But I still recommend it. For two reasons: 1. It makes you feel like you're nesting and I think that's healthy and 2. If you are a planner, it makes you feel like you're on top of things and I think every planner needs that to stay sane.

Interestingly one driver of when we will TTC #2 is...home renovations!! We're in the midst of some time-consuming home renovations and I want them all wrapped up before we try again. I can't nest when my house is under construction. Plus the home renovations are causing a leak in our savings account, which gives me anxiety.

Hey NEL, thanks!! Unfortunately, we will be using our 'nursery' because it's also our bedroom! That's what I am most conerned about- just making it all fit in a way that makes sense. We are not at all OCD about housekeeping- clutter is our major enemy with such little space, and we're actively setting goals and trying to make habits out of clearing away things we don't need and creating storage within our decor. It's a major goal of ours to have the house 'in order' before we add a kid into the mix.

I think I will feel better if I at least go into the whole TTC process with an idea of what I'd like; I don't want to start from scratch with a finite period to finish it in front of me.

And just as I decided I was going to go all second hand to save money, I went and fell in LOVE with Bratt Decor (http://www.brattdecor.com, specifically, this one: https://www.brattdecor.com/productlist.cfm?action=search&criteria=joy. Luckily, their warehouse with discounted items in local-ish to me! (STACEY, WE NEED A FIELD TRIP!).

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

I am totally crazy to already be looking at baby furniture and stuff?!

Not at all! I think it's very practical and I plan on doing some second hand shopping myself in the coming months. I would much rather have everything in order (at the very least, the room furniture) before we even get pregnant than waiting until the last minute to get started and relying on others to stock me up. I would love to get started on the nursery right in the beginning when we officially start TTC.

We are not at all OCD about housekeeping- clutter is our major enemy with such little space, and we're actively setting goals and trying to make habits out of clearing away things we don't need and creating storage within our decor. It's a major goal of ours to have the house 'in order' before we add a kid into the mix.

I think I will feel better if I at least go into the whole TTC process with an idea of what I'd like; I don't want to start from scratch with a finite period to finish it in front of me.

And just as I decided I was going to go all second hand to save money, I went and fell in LOVE with Bratt Decor (http://www.brattdecor.com, specifically, this one: https://www.brattdecor.com/productlist.cfm?action=search&criteria=joy. Luckily, their warehouse with discounted items in local-ish to me! (STACEY, WE NEED A FIELD TRIP!).

We are TOTALLY on the same page with trying to control the clutter. It gets so nuts and I just have too much stuff. I'm starting to just get tired and pitch things (donate!), but I really like some of my stuff lol...If I don't buy a shelf to put things on or a bin to place things into, they are just floating around the house because there is NO storage! I'm working on it, slowly but surely!

Avia, I am so tired of the lack of space that I told DH I would be willing to wait a year to start TTC if he would give me a bigger bathroom. He didn't take the bait, which is also a good thing..but man, I wanted a bigger bathroom! bahaha!

As for the field trip, sign me up! I am all for a fun furniture hunt and we can complain about how we have no storage in person lol

 

[aviastar]

Oh, the bins!!! I just bought two more yesterday. I got some Halloween (yes, that long ago) costume stuff out of my parents' basement for use this year and it's been sitting in a chair for three months because it has no where to live at my house. Solution? A BIN! All the bins go on the shelves we put in the basement this summer; it all has to be encased in plastic to go in the basement or the mice will make short work of it. A giant pile of completely re-usable gift bags and tissue paper from the wedding? Into a bin! Scarves, gloves, hats? Baskets on the bookshelves! And the chair that never gets used because it's always full of stuff that has no home? Also going into the basement, hooray!

And shelves! I have the brackets for two more shelves in the kitchen, just need to cut the boards (and probably sand and paint them- we try to reuse a lot of the old lumber that was original to the house, but got removed during renovation). The two more and a mantle in the living room, but not until the chinking has been redone. And a total makeover of the mud/laundry room- to include...you guessed it, shelves and cabinets!!

See? THIS is exactly why I feel like I have to get started sooner, rather than later. What should be 3 steps to completion is always about 10 in our old, small, fabulous cabin.

 

[gem_anemone]

You ladies are helping me realize that our house is in absolutely no condition to even think of starting a nursery. Our house is three bedroom, but we are using all the bedrooms. The future nursery is my "office". Really it's just a room with a walk-in closet where I keep my clothes, a desk I never use, and some other random stuff. I'm going to have to move my stuff to the basement when we convert that room to a nursery, but... Our basement had some junk in it and was pretty dirty. We did some remodeling down there last year, but got distracted with the wedding, so it didn't get finished before it was put on hold. I'd like to use the basement for storage and also for a child play/hang out area as it's the only living area with carpet.

Well this past weekend I went ahead and got started on cleaning up down there! I moved some junk out of there and cleaned the carpet. It's already painted, so at this point we just need to re-apply some trim we took down. We bought the wood for it last night. I'm going to stain it and we're hopefully going to get it up this weekend. Not sure if DH knows I'm pushing for this because of baby, but I'm really happy he's all for it and helping me!

 

[gem_anemone]

Oh, the bins!!! I just bought two more yesterday. I got some Halloween (yes, that long ago) costume stuff out of my parents' basement for use this year and it's been sitting in a chair for three months because it has no where to live at my house. Solution? A BIN! All the bins go on the shelves we put in the basement this summer; it all has to be encased in plastic to go in the basement or the mice will make short work of it. A giant pile of completely re-usable gift bags and tissue paper from the wedding? Into a bin! Scarves, gloves, hats? Baskets on the bookshelves! And the chair that never gets used because it's always full of stuff that has no home? Also going into the basement, hooray!

I'm going to have to look into this idea for some solutions to my storage issues with my house! Some of the junk I was referring to in my post are also things like Halloween costumes and what not. They are currently in bins just stacked, but I'd like to make it into something more presentable and functional when it gets moved to the basement...

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

Oh, the bins!!! I just bought two more yesterday. I got some Halloween (yes, that long ago) costume stuff out of my parents' basement for use this year and it's been sitting in a chair for three months because it has no where to live at my house. Solution? A BIN! All the bins go on the shelves we put in the basement this summer; it all has to be encased in plastic to go in the basement or the mice will make short work of it. A giant pile of completely re-usable gift bags and tissue paper from the wedding? Into a bin! Scarves, gloves, hats? Baskets on the bookshelves! And the chair that never gets used because it's always full of stuff that has no home? Also going into the basement, hooray!

I'm going to have to look into this idea for some solutions to my storage issues with my house! Some of the junk I was referring to in my post are also things like Halloween costumes and what not. They are currently in bins just stacked, but I'd like to make it into something more presentable and functional when it gets moved to the basement...

Bins are our friend!! I love them! Seriously, I have enough clear plastic bins to last me a lifetime! DH had shelving up in the basement and has recently moved some stuff around down there so we can put more stuff on the shelves. I do need to move more stuff around and organize more down there. We are currently trying to strip paint and wallpaper/repair plaster and refinish the wood floors in the first floor front room. We have been lazy about it (ok, I can't do much and it's all on DH, but I haven't pushed it) and need to get back in the groove. DH said that even if he works on it all the time, it'll still be 2 months to complete everything because plaster is harder to work with and he will be the only person making things happen. After that, we need to finish the upstairs bathroom (it is gutted and ready to go, we just need to put it all back together (and pick out tiles and such). I even told DH this weekend that if he would expand the bathroom, I would be willing to wait on TTC. He didn't go for it..shucks! That just means we need to do more house stuff and FINALLY get things in baby order. Once the front room is finished, I can at least have one really nice room in the downstairs (the rest of the downstairs needs to have the same thing with removing wallpaper, fixing plaster, etc). Thankfully the upstairs is all finished, except for the bathroom, which will be finished before baby comes, regardless of what has to be done. I will pull in FIL to make that happen if we have a surprise a little earlier than expected lol...I have to say, writing it all out just feel overwhelming (you know you understand this Avia!). I LOVE our old house, but it needs so much work! I'm fine with minimal progress now, but I do know that as soon as I become pregnant, I'm going to be a crazy person if the house is in disarray. I'm glad we're all talking about this and getting our spaces ready for baby...it is TOTALLY better to be prepared and wait than have a surprise and get all crazy!

 

[aviastar]

osu922, December
icekid, January
aviastar, April
NewEnglandLady, May
honey22, July
gem_anemone, July
nysurg, August
StacylikesSparkles, September
Blacksand, October

Just reviewing and updating- am I missing anyone? icekid- officially started? Congrats! osu22- I'm following along in the TTC thread, sticky dust to you and all the other ladies over there!

Updates anyone? nysurg- how are you doing overseas? Staying safe and busy?

 

[aviastar]

gem, I'm sure your husband will come around. It sounds like he just doesn't quite understand what he's in for, which I think is pretty common among 20-30-something guys who have no kids! Many of my guy friends have been through the same thing, but they always come around. And they're great dads in the end, they just needed to live it to understand it. They don't seem to actively plan and think ahead about these things as most of my girlfriends. It's a generalization, of course, but I've seen it with many of my friends.

Thanks for your support, ladies! We aren't 100% sure of a timeline at the moment. We had originally planned to TTC right after the wedding. But circumstances just don't allow it. To complicate things, I am planning (if all goes well) to go back to school full time in September to finish my MA (I'm about 80% finished, but I now have to do full time student teaching to finish). So I now need to find a job that will pay decently well for the next 6-9 months, and then probably quit. I will be 32 in February, and DH is 34. We are not super old, but we do want to start TTC as soon as we can. I would, ideally, like to have 3 kids, and that will take some time! It is all very complicated with one unplanned career change and then one planned one in the middle of everything. DH and I talked about it last night, and we are tentatively planning to start trying in October. Yes, while I will be in school. Yes, I realize this is crazy. But it is what honestly makes the most sense given all our circumstances. It is all a little crazy, but we think we can make it work. Honestly, I don't even want to wait that long, but we will see. I am not currently on any birth control; we are just charting and avoiding right now. We are not that careful, honestly. I talked to DH about it, and asked what would happen if we accidentally got pregnant now. He said it would be crazy, but we would work it out. We'd just shuffle things around and make it work. It was nice to know that he wasn't completely freaked out about it. And it was nice to see how my SIL reacted when she briefly thought I might be pregnant. She was thrilled! She knows I'm unemployed and trying to go back to school and everything is crazy in our lives right now. And she was thrilled. It helped me realize that we would have the support of our families no matter what, and we could make it work. So we are shooting for October. And we will see what happens.

That is a rough few months, blacksand! I would love to have 3 (or 4...or 5), but right now we have a '2 and re-evaluate' policy. I am the oldest of four, myself, and I just loved the big, noisy, joyful chaos of a big family. DH is the youngest of two, so I don't think he feels as comfortable as I do with the idea of more than 2. I'll bring him around eventually I'll be 30 next month, so same boat- not in a hurry yet, but if we are going to have more than two it's gonna get hurried quick!

I know it's not anyone's dream job, but if you need something temporary, work wise, don't forget about waiting tables. Find as high end a restaurant as you can; full timers at the really nice places can make upwards of $50,000 a year around here. You don't have any responsibility after your shift ends, it's physically active, and it pays in cash. Or look for a Nanny position over the summer; I've done that, too, and it was lucrative in the summer months when it was full time (kids were out of school) and it was all under the table, as well. And neither has a longevity built in, you could walk when you needed to. I would suggest subbing for your county's public school. but if your school system is anything like ours, it takes months to finally go through all their hoops and actually get hired- not worth it if you don't plan on doing it long term.

 

[aviastar]

You ladies are helping me realize that our house is in absolutely no condition to even think of starting a nursery. Our house is three bedroom, but we are using all the bedrooms. The future nursery is my "office". Really it's just a room with a walk-in closet where I keep my clothes, a desk I never use, and some other random stuff. I'm going to have to move my stuff to the basement when we convert that room to a nursery, but... Our basement had some junk in it and was pretty dirty. We did some remodeling down there last year, but got distracted with the wedding, so it didn't get finished before it was put on hold. I'd like to use the basement for storage and also for a child play/hang out area as it's the only living area with carpet.

Well this past weekend I went ahead and got started on cleaning up down there! I moved some junk out of there and cleaned the carpet. It's already painted, so at this point we just need to re-apply some trim we took down. We bought the wood for it last night. I'm going to stain it and we're hopefully going to get it up this weekend. Not sure if DH knows I'm pushing for this because of baby, but I'm really happy he's all for it and helping me!

This, exactly. I think that's why I am already thinking about all of this- I don't feel like, if we got pregnant tomorrow, that 9 months would be enough to get things a)how I would like them to be or b) in any sort of workable organizational state to add another person to.

My 'basement' is actually more of a hollow space under the foundation that DH poured a concrete floor in when renovating. So, it's nothing but storage, and hence, my bin solutions are very practical and not at all attractive. Sorry I don't have any clever suggestions for attractive storage. Do you Pintrest? I always find good ideas there!

edited because apparently my 'd' key wasn't working (or my brain to finger signals weren't working, but let's stick with the key theory).

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

I know it's not anyone's dream job, but if you need something temporary, work wise, don't forget about waiting tables. Find as high end a restaurant as you can; full timers at the really nice places can make upwards of $50,000 a year around here. You don't have any responsibility after your shift ends, it's physically active, and it pays in cash. Or look for a Nanny position over the summer; I've done that, too, and it was lucrative in the summer months when it was full time (kids were out of school) and it was all under the table, as well. And neither has a longevity built in, you could walk when you needed to. I would suggest subbing for your county's public school. but if your school system is anything like ours, it takes months to finally go through all their hoops and actually get hired- not worth it if you don't plan on doing it long term.

This is so smart! Plus, when I did some waitressing, it was a good time (most of the time) and you're always moving so the days/evenings go by pretty quickly.

You ladies are helping me realize that our house is in absolutely no condition to even think of starting a nursery.

This, exactly. I think that's why I am already thinking about all of this- I don't feel like, if we got pregnant tomorrow, that 9 months would be enough to get things a)how I would like them to be or b) in any sort of workable organizational state to add another person to.

I am totally with you ladies! When I wrote everything down yesterday, I started to freak a little about the sheer amount of time and energy that will need to be spent on getting the house in order for normal circumstances and not even to get baby ready! I am so glad to have it all written out though because if I see a list and can start checking things off, I feel a ton of satisfaction. Also, I am SO GLAD that I'm not pregnant just yet. I really do want to make some moves first...plus, we have happy hour on Friday and I just want some delish sangria lol

 

[aviastar]

Ok, I have a secret Baby board on Pintrest- and I know I can't be the only one! I love looking through all the nurseries, and clothes, and maternity photos...helps me daydream and be patient as I wait. Well, more patient than I would be if I wasn't looking at all Where do you all go to scope out good/adorable/helpful baby stuff? I feel like I keep seeing a lot of the same things pop up within the Pintrest Universe and I'd like to branch out to some other resources.

My DH is a coach at the local high school, and his Assistant Coach is about our age, married, and they had their first baby right at the beginning of the spring season last year; we've gotten to know them both well and are good friends at this point. She and I have been talking a lot about babies and she was totally ready to start on #2 ASAP. He was not. Well, as she just announced she is due this summer, I guess she won ! I am so excited for them! I kept thinking that we might end up pregnant together and how fun that would be so hopefully I will catch up before she's all done. I had some t-shirts made up for us that say "Mrs. Coach" on the back where the player name usually goes and we wear the to games. Now I am going to make her one that has "Coach, Jr." on the belly, too! Yea for more babies!

 

[gem_anemone]

I'm sorry I can't relate. I'm not on Pinterest and I also don't browse baby stuff. I know once I get pregnant I will become obsessed though!

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

Ok, I have a secret Baby board on Pintrest- and I know I can't be the only one! I love looking through all the nurseries, and clothes, and maternity photos...helps me daydream and be patient as I wait. Well, more patient than I would be if I wasn't looking at all Where do you all go to scope out good/adorable/helpful baby stuff? I feel like I keep seeing a lot of the same things pop up within the Pintrest Universe and I'd like to branch out to some other resources.

My DH is a coach at the local high school, and his Assistant Coach is about our age, married, and they had their first baby right at the beginning of the spring season last year; we've gotten to know them both well and are good friends at this point. She and I have been talking a lot about babies and she was totally ready to start on #2 ASAP. He was not. Well, as she just announced she is due this summer, I guess she won ! I am so excited for them! I kept thinking that we might end up pregnant together and how fun that would be so hopefully I will catch up before she's all done. I had some t-shirts made up for us that say "Mrs. Coach" on the back where the player name usually goes and we wear the to games. Now I am going to make her one that has "Coach, Jr." on the belly, too! Yea for more babies!

Ok, so I think that I want to go home and go crazy with a baby board on pintrest! I don't really know where else to check, but I do have some good friend with kiddos that I can get some advice from...Gem, we need to get started on this lol!

Oh and I LOVE the shirt you're making your friend Avia! How cute will she be?! Maybe we need a belly pic with her wearing it lol

DH and I were talking yesterday about how I wanted to start stocking up on baby stuff like furniture and some bigger things and he was in total agreement with me! It gets me so excited to have him on board with things and not think I'm a crazy baby lady lol (Gem, this will be you soon!)..Avia, we definitely need to go shopping for some fun stuff soon...maybe when it gets a bit warmer? I feel very cool about where DH and I are on this! And I cannot wait to start stockpiling stuff!

 

[icekid]

osu922, December
icekid, January
aviastar, April
NewEnglandLady, May
honey22, July
gem_anemone, July
nysurg, August
StacylikesSparkles, September
Blacksand, October

Just reviewing and updating- am I missing anyone? icekid- officially started? Congrats! osu22- I'm following along in the TTC thread, sticky dust to you and all the other ladies over there!

Updates anyone? nysurg- how are you doing overseas? Staying safe and busy?

Ummm... I am pregnant. Just got a positive today. Even though this is number 2, it still seems kind of crazy/surreal.