Wanting but Waiting...

[aviastar]

Hi ladies!! Dipping my toes in here as I am firmly in the waiting but waiting camp. We are planning to TTC around July/August but due to health issues I have a long way to go first.

I have a considerable amount of weight to lose (as in too embarassed to say how much, even more so that I had put it back on) and then I have to come off my methotrexate for at least 3 months. I have rheumatoid arthritis which makes TTC a whole big issue but I am so sure I will be okay and fulfull my dream of being a Mum.

Can I just stick around here for a few months? I think it will help me stay on track, to achieve my goals. I have a big year ahead, but I know it will all be worth it!

How's everyone else handling wanting but waiting? I feel like everyone I know is pregnant, even people not trying! The universe is mocking me with beautiful bellies everyone lol. I am so very happy for my friends though who are Mum's, they really are so very blessed.

Hi honey! Welcome and of course you can hang out!

I had a mini freak out a few weeks ago; three friends announced their pregnancies on FB in the same day, plus my sister is pregnant. I almost shut down my account right then; actually I am still thinking about taking a break. I had to take a break in the LIW phase of my life- I just found myself comparing to other's lives too often and it wasn't good for me or a good use of my time.

Luckily, this is the busiest season for us at work, so I am hoping that all the sudden I will stop to catch my breath and it will be January! But I do find myself daydreaming about names, and nurseries, and babies in general. I am trying to be hopeful and excited instead of anxious. It helps.

I'm sorry you have to deal with medication complications, but you are right- you will be a mom! Do you have a plan for getting into shape so far?

 

[nysurg]

who knew that there were so many of us out here lurking!!!

by amc80 » 21 Nov 2012 14:50
pancake wrote:
I have been told by a physio who specialises in women's pelvic floor stuff that it's not even labour and delivery that is the kicker to the pelvic floor - it is pregnancy.


Could be. Before giving birth a had way more pelvic strength though. I'm guessing it is a combination if things. I'll blame hormones because they are an easy scapegoat

pancake, amc80: regarding the pelvic floor issues, as a physician who has seen many patients with hemorrhoids and other incontinence issues postpartum, I can definitely tell you that throughout my residency we were taught that it is the pregnancy itself that leads to pelvic floor laxities - carrying a 6-8 lb baby tends to stretch things out. the more pregnancies the worse the laxities are...in addition, vaginal deliveries make things worse in terms of tears...not to say that you shouldn't have a vaginal delivery as there can be problems with c-sections too. Kegel exercises definitely help but also having a strong core is key to having minimal problems. these are the reasons i am working out like a bandit and trying to get in the best shape possible. in addition - weight loss can increase your fertility esp when you are like me and have been on birth control since noah's ark.

amc - thanks for the rec on the OPK - will order them and start checking things out!

by honey22 » 21 Nov 2012 02:23
Hi ladies!! Dipping my toes in here as I am firmly in the waiting but waiting camp. We are planning to TTC around July/August but due to health issues I have a long way to go first.

I have a considerable amount of weight to lose (as in too embarassed to say how much, even more so that I had put it back on) and then I have to come off my methotrexate for at least 3 months. I have rheumatoid arthritis which makes TTC a whole big issue but I am so sure I will be okay and fulfull my dream of being a Mum.

Can I just stick around here for a few months? I think it will help me stay on track, to achieve my goals. I have a big year ahead, but I know it will all be worth it!

How's everyone else handling wanting but waiting? I feel like everyone I know is pregnant, even people not trying! The universe is mocking me with beautiful bellies everyone lol. I am so very happy for my friends though who are Mum's, they really are so very blessed.

honey: i feel the same way - everyone i know and their mama's are pregnant - even when they don't want to be!! i am 35 and will be 36 by the time i get back from this deployment and hope that i don't have too many fertility issues. I think that if you stick with your plan and get a few pounds off which may come off with stopping your methotrexate you might not have any issues. when do you go off of it? will they give you something else instead since you will be TTC? Also, I will definitely be around for the next few months checking in so you and i can hang out together and keep each other sane!!! BTW - I have about 50 lbs to lose to get to my ideal goal weight - so don't feel so bad, at least you are on the track to doing something about it!

I have been on BCP for 14 years Yes no scares here either, which is why I sometimes wonder if I can even get preggo!

From a financial aspect it's probably better for us if we wait the whole year, but it's just so hard... I'll be 33 next July! If we got some unexpected windfall I am certain we would be TTC now. It's nice that your husband is compromising on your date. That will give him a few more months of childless marriage bliss Part of me wants to talk my husband into trying now or sooner, but part of me thinks I should do the conservative thing and wait until we are financially ready. Plus we are talking about taking a vacation next year. Not sure I want to be preggo for our last trip before a baby.

gem_anemone: I hear you on the BC thing - I have been on it since I was 19 years old and have had no scares either! That said - I'm probably barren but we'll see once we start TTC in August!!! In terms of being ready...why does your husband want to wait - is it soley financial? I think that you just have to start TTC when you are ready mentally, I think that we got into our situation (me being old) because we were trying to wait until "we were ready" and I don't think that there is a perfect time because something is always going to come up. My DH always says that "things happen for a reason" and I believe that, so if you and your DH are ready then go for it! If not, take your time. I think there is something to be said for that time in your marriage that you can look back on before you had children and reminisce about the adventures too (we have been married 6 yrs) but wouldn't it suck if you kept waiting then had infertility issues! I am NOT saying you should rush but unfortunately getting pregnant can sometimes be hard when you want to be! Hope I am not speaking out of turn or offended you.

by aviastar » 21 Nov 2012 16:30
Hi honey! Welcome and of course you can hang out!

I had a mini freak out a few weeks ago; three friends announced their pregnancies on FB in the same day, plus my sister is pregnant. I almost shut down my account right then; actually I am still thinking about taking a break. I had to take a break in the LIW phase of my life- I just found myself comparing to other's lives too often and it wasn't good for me or a good use of my time.

Luckily, this is the busiest season for us at work, so I am hoping that all the sudden I will stop to catch my breath and it will be January! But I do find myself daydreaming about names, and nurseries, and babies in general. I am trying to be hopeful and excited instead of anxious. It helps.

aviastar I hear you on the excitement...I have a list of baby names already that my husband and I have been working on for...um..probably 5 yrs!!! I'm a planner so daydreaming for me is a lot like just getting prepared...I don't want to see what happens when i'm actually pregnant!!! I think that when we are at a certain phase in our lives like now - we do have to just take a time out from things like FB and other things to keep us sane. although it doesn't help that pinterest has secret boards - not that i have been looking at nursery themes or pregnancy announcements or anything the holidays can keep you quite busy and i think that before you know it, it will be january and you will be in the TTC thread!!! so hang in there! are you going to use the OPK's to monitor your cycle before you start TTC?

AFM, we are preparing here for turkey day but somehow our turkey has yet to arrive! we may have to postpone our thanksgiving until they get here. it's nice to be deployed during this time that my body can sort out the hormones and i can get into better shape. i am running my 1st 5k tomorrow, so wish me luck!

 

[aviastar]

I just caught myself totally getting wrapped up in a baby names blog! I have a list I keep in my journal, just so I don't forget al the ones I like, but my taste in names is MUCH more, um, out of the box, let's say, than DHs! I have a long list of girls names and not so many boys names- which probably means I won't have any girls!

who knew that there were so many of us out here lurking!!!


aviastar I hear you on the excitement...I have a list of baby names already that my husband and I have been working on for...um..probably 5 yrs!!! I'm a planner so daydreaming for me is a lot like just getting prepared...I don't want to see what happens when i'm actually pregnant!!! I think that when we are at a certain phase in our lives like now - we do have to just take a time out from things like FB and other things to keep us sane. although it doesn't help that pinterest has secret boards - not that i have been looking at nursery themes or pregnancy announcements or anything the holidays can keep you quite busy and i think that before you know it, it will be january and you will be in the TTC thread!!! so hang in there! are you going to use the OPK's to monitor your cycle before you start TTC?

I have a secret baby board on Pintrest, too

No, no tracking for me yet. We have a deal going to be as relaxed as possible about it. Also, we're active, if you know what I mean, so making sure to hit the target window isn't too much of a concern. Our basic plans is 1) stop BC, 2) BD like crazy. We'll give it six months and if no BFP we'll go from there.

 

[honey22]

Awww thanks sweetie! It's nice to be back around here, feels like the old days

 

[vc10um]

thanks for the responses!

amc80 - will definitely order some OPKs to look out for ovulation - any special recommendations?

aviastar - since deployment has been pretty slow here hence a lot of time on my hands...I figure I have plenty of time to get in the best shape possible so my work outs are pretty intense - crossfit 5-6 times / week, running tues/thursdays 2 miles and spinning / elliptical all other days for at least 30 mins. my goal is to lose weight but also gain muscle mass and be toned. I also have changed my diet pretty dramatically and have been eating a moderately strict high protein / low carb diet with protein shakes after am workouts. Helps that we don't cook our own meals and it's easy for me to stay away for candy. ice cream on the other hand...will be the death of me

If interested this website...http://www.marksdailyapple.com/welcome-to-marks-daily-apple/ is pretty awesome...

nysurg

Hrm, you are a lot more hardcore than I am! I am really just looking to trim up a bit- maybe 5 pounds- and increase strength/general fitness. I was a dancer most of my life and in college I switched to stage combat/stuntwork, so flexibility, limberness, core strength, and endurance are the super importants for me to feel really good. And I have tried, oh have I tried, the gym, the intense workout programs, weights...I just can't do it. I get so bored! The key for me is to be interested in what I am doing and that means choreography for me; I have to be intelletually involved in mastering the sequences (and usually perfecting them with performance in mind). The ballet barr workout will be really good for me; if I could just take some more swordfighting classes I'd be golden, but around here I am the only one who teaches them!

My husband plays lacrosse and we joke around about future babies having lacrosse sticks and broadswords for toys- we are in for dangerous children, I think!

I've perused Mark's Daily Apple before; it's a really interesting concept. We aren't that strict about anything, but I do try to choose my carbs very carefully. Ice cream...hmmm....hey, you have to have at least one vice and ice cream is a good one!

I'm catching up on the revival of this thread right now, but avia, have you tried BodyPump or any of the other Les Mills fitness classes? They are all music-driven routine-based classes with different focuses. I am In.L.O.V.E. with BodyPump: 55 minutes of high-rep low to medium weight lifting. Every 3 months they introduce a new routine, and after 2 months or so your instructors can mix it a bit, so by the time you're starting to master the 10-song sequence, they change it up on you! I grew up doing dance and theater and it really hits all the right buttons for me. I've heard great things about the other classes as well, but they're not offered near me. You can check here to see if the classes are offered at a gym in your area.

Okay...back to getting caught up now...

 

[vc10um]

Hi everyone! Just thought I'd give a little wave and wish you all the best of luck during your WbW time! DH and I have been married for just about 17 months now and while I sometimes get the twinges of wanting, we're still both very firmly waiting. But I went through a period about six months into our marriage where I was ready to chuck the BC and just forget about all the planning and the "to do" list. Thankfully that time passed and I'm now just enjoying my friends' children and watching them grow up.

To the ladies working on their fitness, I feel ya! I lost about 30 pounds in the year leading up to my wedding, gained 15 of it back, and am now finally back down to just below wedding weight. I have about 20 more to go before I can even think about TTC...or at least that's what I've told myself.

So, I'll be over in the wings of lurkdom, cheering you all on!

 

[honey22]

Hi ladies!! Dipping my toes in here as I am firmly in the waiting but waiting camp. We are planning to TTC around July/August but due to health issues I have a long way to go first.

I have a considerable amount of weight to lose (as in too embarassed to say how much, even more so that I had put it back on) and then I have to come off my methotrexate for at least 3 months. I have rheumatoid arthritis which makes TTC a whole big issue but I am so sure I will be okay and fulfull my dream of being a Mum.

Can I just stick around here for a few months? I think it will help me stay on track, to achieve my goals. I have a big year ahead, but I know it will all be worth it!

How's everyone else handling wanting but waiting? I feel like everyone I know is pregnant, even people not trying! The universe is mocking me with beautiful bellies everyone lol. I am so very happy for my friends though who are Mum's, they really are so very blessed.

Hi honey! Welcome and of course you can hang out!

I had a mini freak out a few weeks ago; three friends announced their pregnancies on FB in the same day, plus my sister is pregnant. I almost shut down my account right then; actually I am still thinking about taking a break. I had to take a break in the LIW phase of my life- I just found myself comparing to other's lives too often and it wasn't good for me or a good use of my time.

Luckily, this is the busiest season for us at work, so I am hoping that all the sudden I will stop to catch my breath and it will be January! But I do find myself daydreaming about names, and nurseries, and babies in general. I am trying to be hopeful and excited instead of anxious. It helps.

I'm sorry you have to deal with medication complications, but you are right- you will be a mom! Do you have a plan for getting into shape so far?

I hear you, I got caught up a while ago with everyone else having babies but I knew deep down that I wasn't ready to start trying. We were not in a rush, but now I feel like time is no longer on our side. Oh well, whatever's meant to be is meant to be I guess.

I am back on my healthy eating plan. I keep a food diary and I have gone back to my gym (well, I have two memberships actually lol). Once I get started, I am pretty good at losing weight, I get addicted to classes but then for some reason I get sidetracked and fall completely off the wagon. 6 months ago I was doing about 5 classes per week, I really was into it.

I have done two classes this week and the days I don't get to the gym, I try to do our normal 5km walks with our doggies, I just need to stay focussed this time and get to my goal weight!!!

So many of my friends just tell me to go for it, don't worry about the meds or the details just try. * sigh *. They don't understand that I take a small dose of chemotherapy every week to keep my RA under control, just getting preggers is not an option. I have to stop cold turkey, get really sick for months and then I can start trying. They just don't get it, but I guess it's not their fault. I wont' lie, I am a little bit jealous of friends that can accidently get pregnant or get pregnant easily but it's not something I am proud of. I will get over it.

I am really glad I have got you guys to hang with!

 

[aviastar]

thanks for the responses!

amc80 - will definitely order some OPKs to look out for ovulation - any special recommendations?

aviastar - since deployment has been pretty slow here hence a lot of time on my hands...I figure I have plenty of time to get in the best shape possible so my work outs are pretty intense - crossfit 5-6 times / week, running tues/thursdays 2 miles and spinning / elliptical all other days for at least 30 mins. my goal is to lose weight but also gain muscle mass and be toned. I also have changed my diet pretty dramatically and have been eating a moderately strict high protein / low carb diet with protein shakes after am workouts. Helps that we don't cook our own meals and it's easy for me to stay away for candy. ice cream on the other hand...will be the death of me

If interested this website...http://www.marksdailyapple.com/welcome-to-marks-daily-apple/ is pretty awesome...

nysurg

Hrm, you are a lot more hardcore than I am! I am really just looking to trim up a bit- maybe 5 pounds- and increase strength/general fitness. I was a dancer most of my life and in college I switched to stage combat/stuntwork, so flexibility, limberness, core strength, and endurance are the super importants for me to feel really good. And I have tried, oh have I tried, the gym, the intense workout programs, weights...I just can't do it. I get so bored! The key for me is to be interested in what I am doing and that means choreography for me; I have to be intelletually involved in mastering the sequences (and usually perfecting them with performance in mind). The ballet barr workout will be really good for me; if I could just take some more swordfighting classes I'd be golden, but around here I am the only one who teaches them!

My husband plays lacrosse and we joke around about future babies having lacrosse sticks and broadswords for toys- we are in for dangerous children, I think!

I've perused Mark's Daily Apple before; it's a really interesting concept. We aren't that strict about anything, but I do try to choose my carbs very carefully. Ice cream...hmmm....hey, you have to have at least one vice and ice cream is a good one!

I'm catching up on the revival of this thread right now, but avia, have you tried BodyPump or any of the other Les Mills fitness classes? They are all music-driven routine-based classes with different focuses. I am In.L.O.V.E. with BodyPump: 55 minutes of high-rep low to medium weight lifting. Every 3 months they introduce a new routine, and after 2 months or so your instructors can mix it a bit, so by the time you're starting to master the 10-song sequence, they change it up on you! I grew up doing dance and theater and it really hits all the right buttons for me. I've heard great things about the other classes as well, but they're not offered near me. You can check here to see if the classes are offered at a gym in your area.

Okay...back to getting caught up now...

Hi vc10um! I haven't tried those, but have a heard great things about them! I don't currently have a gym membership; a) they are expensive and we could add it to our finances, but I would rather not, and b) I didn't really use it enough to justify it anyway. My aqua class is offered drop in style and I don't have to have a membership to take it. One of the big pluses for me is the low impact, and the stretching I can do in the water. I have tendonitis in my hips, so streching in my hips is a big goal of mine. I don't have a lot of weight to lose, but I am not in good shape , if a class kicks my a$$ too hard I won't go back because I don't feel better, I just feel like crap all the time. So I am working my way UP to BodyPump My mom and my MIL are both coming with me this week; it's kinda embarassing to be working out with ladies twice my age, and even more embarassing that I need to, but hey, ya do what ya gotta do!

I carry a lot of my stress in my upper back, shoulders, and neck. As I have been working out more, it's protesting alot. So I made an appointment with a massage therapist ( ) who can hopefully help me put myself back into fighting shape before gettin KO!

 

[aviastar]

nysurg- How did your 5k go? Did your turkeys arrive?

 

[aviastar]

I hear you, I got caught up a while ago with everyone else having babies but I knew deep down that I wasn't ready to start trying. We were not in a rush, but now I feel like time is no longer on our side. Oh well, whatever's meant to be is meant to be I guess.

I am back on my healthy eating plan. I keep a food diary and I have gone back to my gym (well, I have two memberships actually lol). Once I get started, I am pretty good at losing weight, I get addicted to classes but then for some reason I get sidetracked and fall completely off the wagon. 6 months ago I was doing about 5 classes per week, I really was into it.

I have done two classes this week and the days I don't get to the gym, I try to do our normal 5km walks with our doggies, I just need to stay focussed this time and get to my goal weight!!!

So many of my friends just tell me to go for it, don't worry about the meds or the details just try. * sigh *. They don't understand that I take a small dose of chemotherapy every week to keep my RA under control, just getting preggers is not an option. I have to stop cold turkey, get really sick for months and then I can start trying. They just don't get it, but I guess it's not their fault. I wont' lie, I am a little bit jealous of friends that can accidently get pregnant or get pregnant easily but it's not something I am proud of. I will get over it.

I am really glad I have got you guys to hang with!

Isn't it hard when you know your friends have the very best intentions- they want you to be happy!- but they just don't really understand the hurdles to getting there? I love the sentiment, i.e. Hey, you want babies, and the timing is never perfect so go for it! But you are being really smart and making sure that you and your future baby can be healthy and successful; you ARE going for it right now, doing what you need to do to be ready, you just have a few more steps in the process than some people do. And that's what we're for!

 

[nysurg]

5k - painful - but have another chance for christmas...

turkeys - arrived today!!! happy thanksgiving to us late!

how are things going with you all? how was thanksgiving for everyone?

nysurg

 

[aviastar]

5k - painful - but have another chance for christmas...

turkeys - arrived today!!! happy thanksgiving to us late!

how are things going with you all? how was thanksgiving for everyone?

nysurg

Thanksgiving was wonderful! I worked Fri, Sat, and today, but I didn't get one email or phone call yesterday- it was so great! I got so much DONE. But that was the last of the quiet for us- I'm diving off the cliff in CHRISTMAS tomorrow, wish me luck and sanity!

 

[NewEnglandLady]

I'm just chiming in on this thread as I'm WbW for #2. In some ways, I'm finding the timing of #2 to be more challenging than timing for #1. It's really about trying to figure out the spacing. I figure it's a situation where the glass is half empty or half full. On one hand, there is no perfect spacing between two kids. On the other, there is no wrong spacing between two kids. So it's really about when we feel ready as parents.

I was ready to have a second about an hour after having our first. My husband wanted to wait until our first was at least 9 months--he thought anything closer than 18 months apart was too close. Now that K is 9 months old and everything just seems so much EASIER, I'm not as eager to go through the newborn stage again. Especially with a toddler. So even though we're both excited about having another, we're definitely waiting to give ourselves a bit more of a break!

The plan for now is to start trying again in 6 months. I definitely think I'll be more relaxed this time around. I'm not as anxious about whether or not conceiving will be an issue. I know what to expect with pregnancy. My fears aren't about how a baby will fit in our lives, but more around the challenges of having 2.

Anyway, I'm blabbing, but just thought I'd post even though I'm in a slightly different boat than all of you waiting to have your first!

 

[gem_anemone]

Hi ladies!! Dipping my toes in here as I am firmly in the waiting but waiting camp. We are planning to TTC around July/August but due to health issues I have a long way to go first.

I have a considerable amount of weight to lose (as in too embarassed to say how much, even more so that I had put it back on) and then I have to come off my methotrexate for at least 3 months. I have rheumatoid arthritis which makes TTC a whole big issue but I am so sure I will be okay and fulfull my dream of being a Mum.

Can I just stick around here for a few months? I think it will help me stay on track, to achieve my goals. I have a big year ahead, but I know it will all be worth it!

How's everyone else handling wanting but waiting? I feel like everyone I know is pregnant, even people not trying! The universe is mocking me with beautiful bellies everyone lol. I am so very happy for my friends though who are Mum's, they really are so very blessed.

I hope you can get where you want to be health-wise. I'm ok on that front. I'd like to lose about 5 more pounds, but it wouldn't stop me from TTC. I am also going to be sticking around here until at least July! I would really like to start now, but I think it would be financially irresponsible. If we wait until July to start trying my car should be paid off before the baby will need day care.

I'm slightly jealous of others with babies and I'm anxious to start trying (mainly because I'm not sure how easy it will be to conceive). But I am also trying to enjoy what little freedom we have left. I know how different our lives will be once we have a baby. I have enough going on now that I am always busy due to having a lot of social obligations and hobbies, but part of me is bored of all that and ready to start something new. Some people would think my life is fun and exciting, it can be, but I sometimes find that going to the next social event or party is becoming routine to me! Maybe it is just not as fun once your are married. Plus I'm getting bored of seeing the same people at the same parties, telling the same stories. Blah blah blah. Haha.

gem_anemone: I hear you on the BC thing - I have been on it since I was 19 years old and have had no scares either! That said - I'm probably barren but we'll see once we start TTC in August!!! In terms of being ready...why does your husband want to wait - is it soley financial? I think that you just have to start TTC when you are ready mentally, I think that we got into our situation (me being old) because we were trying to wait until "we were ready" and I don't think that there is a perfect time because something is always going to come up. My DH always says that "things happen for a reason" and I believe that, so if you and your DH are ready then go for it! If not, take your time. I think there is something to be said for that time in your marriage that you can look back on before you had children and reminisce about the adventures too (we have been married 6 yrs) but wouldn't it suck if you kept waiting then had infertility issues! I am NOT saying you should rush but unfortunately getting pregnant can sometimes be hard when you want to be! Hope I am not speaking out of turn or offended you.

I'm not offended! I am truly scared of infertility and afraid I am barren! That's why I struggle to decide whether or not to get off the BCP and see what happens. If I became pregnant right away though, that's it and all the plans are out the window! I dunno!

DH and I have only been married for 4 months, but have been living together for 3.5 years. So it's kind of like we've been married a lot longer than 4 months. I think we have already had many good memorable adventures together. I would say the main reason I feel we are not quite ready now is financial. It is also somewhat what I mentioned above about how I am sort of dreading the life change. However, after what I wrote about being social becoming "routine" I think I have finally decided that I am ready for a change. DH seems to be ready for a baby now! We joke about me being pregnant all the time. So the ball is kind of in my court right now. DH thinks how great it would be to have a baby and I think about how miserable and poor we would be if we had to shell out an extra $1000+ a month for daycare and how much extra work I'm going to have that comes along with baby. I know DH will help, but the majority of the work is the mother's. So all in all I tend to think that having a baby would be easier to manage if one of our cars was paid off. We're both breadwinners, but I make more money, so maybe that is why I am more conservative about financial stuff. I told DH that I was going to try to make some extra car payments after the holidays. My thought is, that if I am willing to sacrifice to have a baby sooner, that must mean I am ready? Right?

 

[gem_anemone]

I was ready to have a second about an hour after having our first. My husband wanted to wait until our first was at least 9 months--he thought anything closer than 18 months apart was too close. Now that K is 9 months old and everything just seems so much EASIER, I'm not as eager to go through the newborn stage again. Especially with a toddler. So even though we're both excited about having another, we're definitely waiting to give ourselves a bit more of a break!

Hello!

It's nice to hear things like "in 9 months having a baby is easier than with a newborn". It makes me dread the work associated with having a baby a little less. Thanks for that tidbit!

 

[NewEnglandLady]

I was ready to have a second about an hour after having our first. My husband wanted to wait until our first was at least 9 months--he thought anything closer than 18 months apart was too close. Now that K is 9 months old and everything just seems so much EASIER, I'm not as eager to go through the newborn stage again. Especially with a toddler. So even though we're both excited about having another, we're definitely waiting to give ourselves a bit more of a break!

Hello!

It's nice to hear things like "in 9 months having a baby is easier than with a newborn". It makes me dread the work associated with having a baby a little less. Thanks for that tidbit!

Oddly, I rarely felt overwhelmed when having a newborn. It's only looking back that I think "how did I do that?" When I was in the moment, I just did whatever needed to be done. Everybody's experience is different, but you might find it less demanding than imagined (especially if you think it's going to be tough).

 

[amc80]

I was ready to have a second about an hour after having our first. My husband wanted to wait until our first was at least 9 months--he thought anything closer than 18 months apart was too close. Now that K is 9 months old and everything just seems so much EASIER, I'm not as eager to go through the newborn stage again. Especially with a toddler. So even though we're both excited about having another, we're definitely waiting to give ourselves a bit more of a break!

Hello!

It's nice to hear things like "in 9 months having a baby is easier than with a newborn". It makes me dread the work associated with having a baby a little less. Thanks for that tidbit!

Oddly, I rarely felt overwhelmed when having a newborn. It's only looking back that I think "how did I do that?" When I was in the moment, I just did whatever needed to be done. Everybody's experience is different, but you might find it less demanding than imagined (especially if you think it's going to be tough).

Interesting how different we all are. I am finding it to be pretty overwhelming at times. It's not the baby stuff, per se...it's the complete lack of "me" time that's shocking. I have zero, and I mean ZERO, time to myself. If I'm watching TV, I'm also eating or feeding the baby or pumping or cleaning. The only time I'm not multitasking is when I'm sleeping...and that's not all that much time (yet!). Even during bath time, when B is in his little bath that sits over the kitchen sink...I'm washing bottles or making bottles or packing DH's lunch while entertaining B in the bath.

Now, the lack of sleep, that has gotten better. The first 6-8 weeks were terrible. B was up at least every 2 hour. Every once in a while he'd do 3 hours. Now (at almost 16 weeks) he will usually do one 5 hour stretch a night. But not every night (last night he went to sleep at 9:30, then woke up at 12:30, 3:30, and 7...but I think he's going through a growth spurt since he's hungry non-stop). The nights where he's up a lot kill me, and I think back to those early days where this much sleep would have been a blessing. So yes, it does get better. But your definition of "better" will shift drastically.

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

Oh ladies, I am SO in the right spot! I have been married for a little over 2 months and have been bitten by the baby bug! While DH and I plan to start TTC after summer of next year, I am just in major wanting mode until then. Like many of you, I'm worried about being able to conceive and I'm hoping to get some things done before we actually start trying. We know that we need to buy at least one new (or new to us) car before we get pregnant, but thankfully our saving on that is right where it needs to be. We live in a 100+ year old house and we are doing some remodeling. I need to have a more efficient kitchen (I'm not just being bratty; our kitchen right now is TERRIBLE! and small and has practically no counter space) or I'll go crazy with a bad kitchen and babies and we need to finish remodeling our upstairs bathroom. If it were possible to have all that taken care of AND have more money in savings, I'm sure we would start sooner. I think the main reason I'm so anxious is my age. I'll be 30 in 3 weeks and while that isn't really too old to get started or anything, I worry about the time it will take to get pregnant and then worried about the time it will take to get pregnant with baby number 2...lots of worry here lol

Ladies who are still on BC; how far ahead of TTC are you thinking of stopping the pill? What alternative methods of BC will you be using?

 

[aviastar]

I'm just chiming in on this thread as I'm WbW for #2. In some ways, I'm finding the timing of #2 to be more challenging than timing for #1. It's really about trying to figure out the spacing. I figure it's a situation where the glass is half empty or half full. On one hand, there is no perfect spacing between two kids. On the other, there is no wrong spacing between two kids. So it's really about when we feel ready as parents.

I was ready to have a second about an hour after having our first. My husband wanted to wait until our first was at least 9 months--he thought anything closer than 18 months apart was too close. Now that K is 9 months old and everything just seems so much EASIER, I'm not as eager to go through the newborn stage again. Especially with a toddler. So even though we're both excited about having another, we're definitely waiting to give ourselves a bit more of a break!

The plan for now is to start trying again in 6 months. I definitely think I'll be more relaxed this time around. I'm not as anxious about whether or not conceiving will be an issue. I know what to expect with pregnancy. My fears aren't about how a baby will fit in our lives, but more around the challenges of having 2.

Anyway, I'm blabbing, but just thought I'd post even though I'm in a slightly different boat than all of you waiting to have your first!

Hey, wanting is wanting, first or second time around (or third or...)!

It's awesome to have Mammas chiming in on this thread who have already been throught the process- it's invaluable real life advice!

 

[aviastar]

Oh ladies, I am SO in the right spot! I have been married for a little over 2 months and have been bitten by the baby bug! While DH and I plan to start TTC after summer of next year, I am just in major wanting mode until then. Like many of you, I'm worried about being able to conceive and I'm hoping to get some things done before we actually start trying. We know that we need to buy at least one new (or new to us) car before we get pregnant, but thankfully our saving on that is right where it needs to be. We live in a 100+ year old house and we are doing some remodeling. I need to have a more efficient kitchen (I'm not just being bratty; our kitchen right now is TERRIBLE! and small and has practically no counter space) or I'll go crazy with a bad kitchen and babies and we need to finish remodeling our upstairs bathroom. If it were possible to have all that taken care of AND have more money in savings, I'm sure we would start sooner. I think the main reason I'm so anxious is my age. I'll be 30 in 3 weeks and while that isn't really too old to get started or anything, I worry about the time it will take to get pregnant and then worried about the time it will take to get pregnant with baby number 2...lots of worry here lol

Ladies who are still on BC; how far ahead of TTC are you thinking of stopping the pill? What alternative methods of BC will you be using?

Hi Stacy!! Glad to see you over here

I'll be 30 soon, too. We have so much in common; I got married earlier this year, and we live in a 200 year old log cabin! There's a lot to be done on the house- my DH bought it and had it restored before we started dating. And by restored, I mean had the asbestos shingles removed and indoor plumbing and electricity added. Cause there wasn't any. And cleaned and drywall done, ect. So, it's very liveable, but it's such a small, funky (wonderful, fabulous) space- it needs a lot of creativity for decor, storage, STORAGE, and generally using the space well. And that's a major, ongoing process. Plus, maintainance of an old building is a lot; it looks like some of the chinking in our main room is going to need to be worked on sooner rather than later an the fireplaces (2) were never restored because it's VERY expensive. So many projects, but I love it! An addition is in the plan, but if we waited till we could afford an addition to have kids- I would flat out be too old to start! Hopefully, the economy turns around a bit and that can happen sooner than we think.

So space is an issue for us- baby will be sharing our room. Our bed is in the loft, so there is seperation from the main bedroom, where the crib will go. But, again, it's going to take some creativity in arranging everything. I keep reminding myself that the last family who actually lived in the house (in the 1940s) raised 8 children in it. I can surely fit one or two until my addition is built!

Personally, I am just going to stop taking BC when we agree to start (hopefully Feb) and see what happens. If my body needs time to adjust, that's ok. It would make DH more comfortable, I think, and I would at least feel like I am not delaying anymore. We're going to try to take things as they come. I know myself and I can't let myself get too wrapped up in tracking and charting- I will stress, and obsess, and probably make it take even longer with all my worrying, and it will drive DH bonkers. He gets so upset when I am stressed, cute guy. So, we'll decide we are ready, stop the BC and let God handle the rest. At least, that's what I am telling myself right now

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

Oh my gosh, Aviastar, we are so similar!! You definitely understand the joys and pains of living in an old house! While it will be fabulous one of these days, we are far from it! DH bought the house when he tuned 21 (he'll be 27 in February), he didn't touch the downstairs AT ALL and while the upstairs was nicer,it was no where near finished. At least in the upstairs he had taken down the wallpaper (which was on every surface, including the ceilings), fixed the plaster, and painted the walls before we got together. He has since refinished the floors, hung doors and molding, etc, but we still have a bathtub NOT in the bathroom (we gutted the bathroom, but are waiting on help from his dad to fix up both the upstairs bath and kitchen area) and the tub is currently just sitting in the upstairs living area lol...it would be lovely to take a bath every now and then and actually be able to get ready upstairs, but thankfully we have a stand-up shower on the first floor. The kitchen, while a decent size, is just a mess! The owners before us just did not know how to remodel, so the changes they made only made the place worse. I would love to have the kitchen finished (by finished, I just mean in better shape) because right now it just isn't working. I already told DH that when we do the kitchen, we don't have to go crazy with it (i.e. we can keep the current appliances and add better ones in when we have the extra money to do so), but we both know that something needs to be done before baby comes along. And you're correct in saying that there is NO storage! Anywhere! I'm having to get very creative with the vertical space in the house. Thankfully we do have a nursery room, which is currently our guest bedroom. It is attached to our room so it is easily accessible, but we will need to buy a wardrobe for baby clothes and things. I am seriously thinking of starting a private baby board on pintrest for room and craft ideas

I think it's great that you know yourself enough about the stressing to just try naturally at first. Hopefully there is no issue and you're pregnant starting in March of next year! Man, don't you wish money was more plentiful?! They we would all be pregnant right away lol

 

[gem_anemone]

Hi Stacy glad to see we're in the same boat again!

 

[gem_anemone]

Personally, I am just going to stop taking BC when we agree to start (hopefully Feb) and see what happens. If my body needs time to adjust, that's ok. It would make DH more comfortable, I think, and I would at least feel like I am not delaying anymore. We're going to try to take things as they come. I know myself and I can't let myself get too wrapped up in tracking and charting- I will stress, and obsess, and probably make it take even longer with all my worrying, and it will drive DH bonkers. He gets so upset when I am stressed, cute guy. So, we'll decide we are ready, stop the BC and let God handle the rest. At least, that's what I am telling myself right now

I also want to try to be relaxed and casual when we TTC at first as I am also the obsessive type. I will "do nothing" for the first few months once off BC. If I have not conceived by a certain point, then I will be looking into other methods. I would drive DH nuts with all my research and charting etc. if I had to resort to that method. Crossing my fingers I don't, but you never know!

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

Hi Stacy glad to see we're in the same boat again!

First BIW and now WBW...damn this whole waiting thing lmao

 

[gem_anemone]

Hi Stacy glad to see we're in the same boat again!

First BIW and now WBW...damn this whole waiting thing lmao

and before that I was a LIW! Lol

Anyone see the episode of New Girl on Tuesday? The subject of the episode was fertility and the lady characters on the show got checked out. I may ask my OB/GYN if she thinks it's necessary when I have my appointment next month and also let her know we will be TTC next year!

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

So on Wednesday night, the hubs and I had a REALLY great conversation about babies. It's funny because when I started saying things out loud (like our original time frame), it really just put things into perspective. When I first started the convo, I mentioned wanting to go off the pill after this last pack that I'm taking so I can start charting my cycle. He totally understood, but I think he took that to mean 'let's get pregnant NOW!'. I definitely let him know that I want to track my information for a few months before jumping in the game, but I really just wanted to get the BCP out of my system. I also told him that if he doesn't want me off now, I won't be and that I'm totally fine with waiting, BUT even if we stick with our original time frame, that is only 9 months away. That seemed to really make him think about where we are with things and such. It was a GREAT conversation! He told me that he does think that I think about babies more than he does, but he is glad that one of us is really on top of things with trying to figure it all out BEFORE we actually get started. he even ordered me TCOYF off of Amazon, which I am now anxiously awaiting! He thought he could give it to me for X-mas, but I told him that I'm going to need it as soon as it comes in lol I feel like we are really on the same page with everything! I do want to wait a few months before jumping into trying and would probably freak out if we were pregnant before May! I plan on getting he pre-conception blood panel sometime after the new year (like, January 2nd lol) and I will be trying to get in better shape (focusing on core strength, from what you ladies are saying!). All in all, I really feel GOOD and like we are on the right track for babies!

Side note; the hubs bought some great looking blinds for our upstairs on Black Friday and started installing them last night. Check that off of our '1,000 things to do to this house' list. Only 999 to go! lol

 

[honey22]

I feel like I have been waiting for ever. We decided a while back when we were going to start TTC. It was funny us saying in 24 months, 23 months etc etc. It seemed so far away. Now it's like, oh cr*p! We are going to start trying in 7 months, which means I should be off my meds in 3 months and I am not at my goal weight yet. That makes me incredibly disappointed in myself but coming down to crunch time has really made me refocus.

I will also admit to having a 'baby glory box' going in my wardrobe. When I see things on special, I will pick up a few essentials. I don't believe in the whole buying things before preggo is bad luck, but we have decided that if we are not able to become preggo, or my RA plays up so much that we have to stop trying, I will find a young single mother or something and gift her the whole lot.

You are all probably thinking I am a bit obsessive, and you probably would not be far off lol.

It's nice to see ladies here WbW for #2, it doesn't matter whether it's your first or 7th bubby, I would imagine the wanting would be the same/similar.

 

[honey22]

So on Wednesday night, the hubs and I had a REALLY great conversation about babies. It's funny because when I started saying things out loud (like our original time frame), it really just put things into perspective. When I first started the convo, I mentioned wanting to go off the pill after this last pack that I'm taking so I can start charting my cycle. He totally understood, but I think he took that to mean 'let's get pregnant NOW!'. I definitely let him know that I want to track my information for a few months before jumping in the game, but I really just wanted to get the BCP out of my system. I also told him that if he doesn't want me off now, I won't be and that I'm totally fine with waiting, BUT even if we stick with our original time frame, that is only 9 months away. That seemed to really make him think about where we are with things and such. It was a GREAT conversation! He told me that he does think that I think about babies more than he does, but he is glad that one of us is really on top of things with trying to figure it all out BEFORE we actually get started. he even ordered me TCOYF off of Amazon, which I am now anxiously awaiting! He thought he could give it to me for X-mas, but I told him that I'm going to need it as soon as it comes in lol I feel like we are really on the same page with everything! I do want to wait a few months before jumping into trying and would probably freak out if we were pregnant before May! I plan on getting he pre-conception blood panel sometime after the new year (like, January 2nd lol) and I will be trying to get in better shape (focusing on core strength, from what you ladies are saying!). All in all, I really feel GOOD and like we are on the right track for babies!

Side note; the hubs bought some great looking blinds for our upstairs on Black Friday and started installing them last night. Check that off of our '1,000 things to do to this house' list. Only 999 to go! lol

That's so great of your hubby buying the book.

I gave my copy to a friend to borrow, who gave it to her sister. Now I feel akward asking for it back (it was always just a borrow). We have been very open about our plans to try for a baby, but now its getting closer, I feel like keeping it a bit more quiet?

Its a great book! It as heaps of charts if you want to get serious about charting.

I am not sure if charting will be helpful for me. I sleep with an electric blankey in the winter which I am not giving up for anything. Also, when I am unmedicated and my RA is active, I usually have a low grade fever all the time. Not much but about 1 degree higher. Also when I am flaring (my joints are swollen and painful) I often get a fever, so I am just not sure if temping would be accurate in my situation.

 

[icekid]

I am WBW #2! We (I? hahaha) have been ready for a while; #1 just turned 2 yesterday However, I just started my big new stressful job a couple of months ago. Plus we are in the very beginning stages of building a house and hubby was adamantly against bringing another baby into our two bedroom apartment. BUT, the wait is almost over and we are going to start trying in January! Super exciting, but also super terrifying to go back to those sleepless newborn days. I was one of those people who loved having a tiny, boring, sweet newborn, though Maybe because being a doctor means I was already used to not sleeping.

I, too, have been working out a lot. Being in good shape makes for a much easier pregnancy, based on my n of one Of course I would love to drop a few pounds, too! I hate to add baby weight to already carrying a few extra, but we'll see what happens. Can't believe I only have another month! Dec 1 already...

 

[Laila619]

I think I am cookoo! I just gave birth to baby #2 four weeks ago, and I already want another one. DH thinks I'm crazy. I think realistically, I might be able to convince him to try for baby #3 when DD is 6 or 7 months old. I love babies! They are so sweet and cuddly.