Wanting but Waiting...

[aviastar]

I am glad to see this thread back...I am a lurker and this has brought me out...

DH and I have been married 5 yrs and we did actually TTC without luck last year but then I found out in January of that I will be deployed. I am due to be back in Aug so we have plans to actively TTC since I will be 36. During this deployment I am trying to get myself in prime TTC condition by losing weight and taking my prenatals as well as tracking cycles. Another advice?

nysurg

Thank you for your service!

It's also a goal of mine to get my body in tip top shape before getting pregnant; for a few reasons 1) I may never look that good again ! 2) I figure the better shape my body is in the better it can (hopefully) handle all the changes that are coming and 3) I hope it will help in the recovery and springing back phase.

This is going to sound awful all written out and I promise my husband is not a shallow cad, but one of his worries is that I won't ever look like *me* again. And I get it- I'm a little worried I won't ever feel like me again, too. So I am trying to be mindful of that and do what I can to get into good eating and working out habits now.

What exercise stuff are going to focus on, running? Lifting weights? I am just starting to get into some aqua fitness classes and I have ordered a ballet barr conditioning DVD so we'll see how it goes!

 

[nysurg]

thanks for the responses!

amc80 - will definitely order some OPKs to look out for ovulation - any special recommendations?

aviastar - since deployment has been pretty slow here hence a lot of time on my hands...I figure I have plenty of time to get in the best shape possible so my work outs are pretty intense - crossfit 5-6 times / week, running tues/thursdays 2 miles and spinning / elliptical all other days for at least 30 mins. my goal is to lose weight but also gain muscle mass and be toned. I also have changed my diet pretty dramatically and have been eating a moderately strict high protein / low carb diet with protein shakes after am workouts. Helps that we don't cook our own meals and it's easy for me to stay away for candy. ice cream on the other hand...will be the death of me

If interested this website...http://www.marksdailyapple.com/welcome-to-marks-daily-apple/ is pretty awesome...

nysurg

 

[osu922]

I'm excited this thread is being revived. I'm a long time lurker and have been in the wanting but waiting camp since this summer. My husband and I decided to wait until December 2012 so we could save up in case I decide to stay home after the birth. DH is 30 and I am 28; we're so excited now that December is just around the corner.

aviastar- February will be here before you know it!

 

[amc80]

thanks for the responses!

amc80 - will definitely order some OPKs to look out for ovulation - any special recommendations?

I used the CVS strips. You get 20 for about $20. A lot of people use the Internet cheapies but I found them to be too small. I also used the Clear Blue Easy digital OPKs to confirm a positive test strip. They worked really well (and it's fun to see a smiley) except for the month we actually tried. I got a positive on my strip but never with the digi. And I have a 14 week old from that cycle, so I am pretty sure I ovulated

 

[aviastar]

thanks for the responses!

amc80 - will definitely order some OPKs to look out for ovulation - any special recommendations?

aviastar - since deployment has been pretty slow here hence a lot of time on my hands...I figure I have plenty of time to get in the best shape possible so my work outs are pretty intense - crossfit 5-6 times / week, running tues/thursdays 2 miles and spinning / elliptical all other days for at least 30 mins. my goal is to lose weight but also gain muscle mass and be toned. I also have changed my diet pretty dramatically and have been eating a moderately strict high protein / low carb diet with protein shakes after am workouts. Helps that we don't cook our own meals and it's easy for me to stay away for candy. ice cream on the other hand...will be the death of me

If interested this website...http://www.marksdailyapple.com/welcome-to-marks-daily-apple/ is pretty awesome...

nysurg

Hrm, you are a lot more hardcore than I am! I am really just looking to trim up a bit- maybe 5 pounds- and increase strength/general fitness. I was a dancer most of my life and in college I switched to stage combat/stuntwork, so flexibility, limberness, core strength, and endurance are the super importants for me to feel really good. And I have tried, oh have I tried, the gym, the intense workout programs, weights...I just can't do it. I get so bored! The key for me is to be interested in what I am doing and that means choreography for me; I have to be intelletually involved in mastering the sequences (and usually perfecting them with performance in mind). The ballet barr workout will be really good for me; if I could just take some more swordfighting classes I'd be golden, but around here I am the only one who teaches them!

My husband plays lacrosse and we joke around about future babies having lacrosse sticks and broadswords for toys- we are in for dangerous children, I think!

I've perused Mark's Daily Apple before; it's a really interesting concept. We aren't that strict about anything, but I do try to choose my carbs very carefully. Ice cream...hmmm....hey, you have to have at least one vice and ice cream is a good one!

 

[aviastar]

I'm excited this thread is being revived. I'm a long time lurker and have been in the wanting but waiting camp since this summer. My husband and I decided to wait until December 2012 so we could save up in case I decide to stay home after the birth. DH is 30 and I am 28; we're so excited now that December is just around the corner.

aviastar- February will be here before you know it!

Yea! Welcome!

Saving is a big thing on my mind, too. I've been reviewing the maternity coverage for our insurance and calculating how much extra I want to have saved before we get started.

Do you have any feeling if you will want to stay home or go back to work? I think it must be a very hard decision to make!

 

[osu922]

AMC – good to know on the OPKs, I’ve been on the fence of trying them or not. Looking back, do you think you would use them again, and do you think it helped getting preggers faster?

Aviastar – As for staying home, a lot of it stems from a shaky job. Things have been unstable for quite some time, and it seems like my job could be ending during my pregnancy **fingers crossed it doesn’t take too long to get knocked up** If that happens, I hope to stay home for about a year and then find work again. My husband and I have already decided whatever happens with my job, our start date will still be next month!

 

[aviastar]

osu, sounds like you are making the most of being flexible with whatever happens! And yea for December start dates! Are you already taking pre-natals and stuff?

My husband and I own a small business...so, no staying home for me. Although, I often get to work from home and so does he and since I'm on good terms with the other boss around the office ( ) I will be taking baby with me. We are also very lucky to have both sets of very excited grandparents and an aunt within 20 mins. It's a good thing we will have so much flexability because daycare is far, far out of our price range. In an ideal world, I think I would love to stay at home, but I think, actually, this is going to be good, too. I think it will be great to meet clients with a baby napping in his moby! We're a casual, family atmosphere so it works!

 

[amc80]

AMC – good to know on the OPKs, I’ve been on the fence of trying them or not. Looking back, do you think you would use them again, and do you think it helped getting preggers faster?

It's hard to say. I started temping and using OPKs about 6 months before TTC. We tried one month, got pregnant, had a chemical pregnancy. Then I got pregnant for good the very next cycle. Our timing was perfect due to charting, but I have no idea if I would have gotten pregnant regardless. I can say we are 2 for 2...

 

[bobbin]

Re getting your body ready for pregnancy, if I had my time again I would put a lot of work into improving my core strength and stability and of course doing more pelvic floor exercises. Your core takes such a hammering during pregnancy and childbirth, and then you really need the strength and stability afterwards with babycare,

 

[aviastar]

Re getting your body ready for pregnancy, if I had my time again I would put a lot of work into improving my core strength and stability and of course doing more pelvic floor exercises. Your core takes such a hammering during pregnancy and childbirth, and then you really need the strength and stability afterwards with babycare,

This is so good to hear! And it makes total sense! Thank you! (And some more exclaimation points just for fun !!!!!)

 

[amc80]

Re getting your body ready for pregnancy, if I had my time again I would put a lot of work into improving my core strength and stability and of course doing more pelvic floor exercises. Your core takes such a hammering during pregnancy and childbirth, and then you really need the strength and stability afterwards with babycare,

This is so good to hear! And it makes total sense! Thank you! (And some more exclaimation points just for fun !!!!!)

I'll ditto this. I meant to do kegals while pregnant, but was pretty lazy. And as a result, I have my first pelvic floor PT session tomorrow. I would also say to be sure to keep your cardio up once you're pregnant. Pushing out a human is HARD work.

 

[aviastar]

Re getting your body ready for pregnancy, if I had my time again I would put a lot of work into improving my core strength and stability and of course doing more pelvic floor exercises. Your core takes such a hammering during pregnancy and childbirth, and then you really need the strength and stability afterwards with babycare,

This is so good to hear! And it makes total sense! Thank you! (And some more exclaimation points just for fun !!!!!)

I'll ditto this. I meant to do kegals while pregnant, but was pretty lazy. And as a result, I have my first pelvic floor PT session tomorrow. I would also say to be sure to keep your cardio up once you're pregnant. Pushing out a human is HARD work.

I never think of doing kegals, but I am a little worried about pelvic floor issues. Grandma, mom, and sister now have all had super fast, strong push labors. They have all been under 6 hours from first contraction to baby (8 babies between them all); my sister was born in 45 mins flat- they barely made it to the hospital! And that is apparently very hard on the pelvic floor and wall muscles. So adding kegels to the list!

 

[amc80]

Re getting your body ready for pregnancy, if I had my time again I would put a lot of work into improving my core strength and stability and of course doing more pelvic floor exercises. Your core takes such a hammering during pregnancy and childbirth, and then you really need the strength and stability afterwards with babycare,

This is so good to hear! And it makes total sense! Thank you! (And some more exclaimation points just for fun !!!!!)

I'll ditto this. I meant to do kegals while pregnant, but was pretty lazy. And as a result, I have my first pelvic floor PT session tomorrow. I would also say to be sure to keep your cardio up once you're pregnant. Pushing out a human is HARD work.

I never think of doing kegals, but I am a little worried about pelvic floor issues. Grandma, mom, and sister now have all had super fast, strong push labors. They have all been under 6 hours from first contraction to baby (8 babies between them all); my sister was born in 45 mins flat- they barely made it to the hospital! And that is apparently very hard on the pelvic floor and wall muscles. So adding kegels to the list!

Well I'll tell you that a 26 hour labor and 3.5 hours of pushing is REALLY hard on the pelvic floor as well

 

[osu922]

osu, sounds like you are making the most of being flexible with whatever happens! And yea for December start dates! Are you already taking pre-natals and stuff?

My husband and I own a small business...so, no staying home for me. Although, I often get to work from home and so does he and since I'm on good terms with the other boss around the office ( ) I will be taking baby with me. We are also very lucky to have both sets of very excited grandparents and an aunt within 20 mins. It's a good thing we will have so much flexability because daycare is far, far out of our price range. In an ideal world, I think I would love to stay at home, but I think, actually, this is going to be good, too. I think it will be great to meet clients with a baby napping in his moby! We're a casual, family atmosphere so it works!

Right now I'm taking a multi-vitamin with folic acid, but I was doing that before we were even discussing TTC.

I think that's great you will be able to take your baby to work! Are you going to start pre-natals soon?


Has anyone here started planning future nurseries? I know I have come up with multiple themes and ideas! I can't wait until I get to start planning the actual nursery.

 

[aviastar]

Re getting your body ready for pregnancy, if I had my time again I would put a lot of work into improving my core strength and stability and of course doing more pelvic floor exercises. Your core takes such a hammering during pregnancy and childbirth, and then you really need the strength and stability afterwards with babycare,

This is so good to hear! And it makes total sense! Thank you! (And some more exclaimation points just for fun !!!!!)

I'll ditto this. I meant to do kegals while pregnant, but was pretty lazy. And as a result, I have my first pelvic floor PT session tomorrow. I would also say to be sure to keep your cardio up once you're pregnant. Pushing out a human is HARD work.

I never think of doing kegals, but I am a little worried about pelvic floor issues. Grandma, mom, and sister now have all had super fast, strong push labors. They have all been under 6 hours from first contraction to baby (8 babies between them all); my sister was born in 45 mins flat- they barely made it to the hospital! And that is apparently very hard on the pelvic floor and wall muscles. So adding kegels to the list!

Well I'll tell you that a 26 hour labor and 3.5 hours of pushing is REALLY hard on the pelvic floor as well

Haha, yes, I think everyone can agree that *labor* is hard on the pelvic floor- and everything else, too! I know you are doing PT to help now, which will surely be helpful later, but do you know if that kind of injury (is it an injury?) will affect future pregnancies (if you are thinking of future pregnancies) or have any long term effects? If I am prying too much, feel free to tell me- I'm just curious, because this seems like such a common, but difficult thing that would happen with labor. Kegals are the standard answer to many issues 'down there', do you feel that would have been able to prevent or strongly mitigate this if you had practiced the kegals throughout?

 

[aviastar]

osu, sounds like you are making the most of being flexible with whatever happens! And yea for December start dates! Are you already taking pre-natals and stuff?

My husband and I own a small business...so, no staying home for me. Although, I often get to work from home and so does he and since I'm on good terms with the other boss around the office ( ) I will be taking baby with me. We are also very lucky to have both sets of very excited grandparents and an aunt within 20 mins. It's a good thing we will have so much flexability because daycare is far, far out of our price range. In an ideal world, I think I would love to stay at home, but I think, actually, this is going to be good, too. I think it will be great to meet clients with a baby napping in his moby! We're a casual, family atmosphere so it works!

Right now I'm taking a multi-vitamin with folic acid, but I was doing that before we were even discussing TTC.

I think that's great you will be able to take your baby to work! Are you going to start pre-natals soon?


Has anyone here started planning future nurseries? I know I have come up with multiple themes and ideas! I can't wait until I get to start planning the actual nursery.

I'm not taking anything yet, hadn't even thought about it, actually! But it makes sense. I might try to find a multi + folic acid rather than one that says PRE-NATAL in big letters across the front; it would freak my DH out less and would hold me back mentally a little, too. I have my hopes pinned on Feb., but if somthing comes up or we get there and need a bit more time, I don't want to be totally crushed.

Oh yes, nurseries! I love imagining all the different ways to decorate and design them. We have a serious space issue, so I am going to have to be fairly creative. The nursery thread on here are awesome and Pintrest is my main source of inspiration.

Only 10 days till December!

 

[bobbin]

Haha, yes, I think everyone can agree that *labor* is hard on the pelvic floor- and everything else, too! I know you are doing PT to help now, which will surely be helpful later, but do you know if that kind of injury (is it an injury?) will affect future pregnancies (if you are thinking of future pregnancies) or have any long term effects? If I am prying too much, feel free to tell me- I'm just curious, because this seems like such a common, but difficult thing that would happen with labor. Kegals are the standard answer to many issues 'down there', do you feel that would have been able to prevent or strongly mitigate this if you had practiced the kegals throughout?

I wouldn't say it was an injury per se, just that the pelvic floor has weakened and isn't doing it's duties as a sling support for your uterus, bladder etc.

I think it would have helped me to do kegels throughout (I did them sporadically but not enough), BUT pelvic floor weakness happens to 1 in 3 women after having a baby. I am not sure that religously doing kegels would necessarily = no pelvic floor issues post birth for me. It may have lessened it though.

I didn't ever ask my physio whether having suffered pelvic floor issues after my 1st child would affect future pregnancies. I can only see it being an issue in that I might start out with a weaker pelvic floor for the next pregnancy - however, I would also be more aware of what can happen and do kegels a bit more! I meant to ask her about spacing pregnancies - ie whether it is better to have children closer or further apart to lessen any future weakness, but I forgot.

 

[gem_anemone]

I've also been lurking in the F&H section, but have not found the right moment for an introduction! I feel like I fit in to here because we are not actively TTC. My husband and I got married this summer and agreed we would visit the baby idea after our first anniversary. I'm kind of ok with waiting one year, but part of me wants to try sooner. I am 32 and worried about how long it will actually take for me to get pregnant after I come off the pill. Any advise there?

 

[gem_anemone]

It's also a goal of mine to get my body in tip top shape before getting pregnant; for a few reasons 1) I may never look that good again ! 2) I figure the better shape my body is in the better it can (hopefully) handle all the changes that are coming and 3) I hope it will help in the recovery and springing back phase.

This is going to sound awful all written out and I promise my husband is not a shallow cad, but one of his worries is that I won't ever look like *me* again. And I get it- I'm a little worried I won't ever feel like me again, too. So I am trying to be mindful of that and do what I can to get into good eating and working out habits now.

What exercise stuff are going to focus on, running? Lifting weights? I am just starting to get into some aqua fitness classes and I have ordered a ballet barr conditioning DVD so we'll see how it goes!

I have been doing the same thing. I've been counting calories for four weeks now and lost about five and a half pounds! I play sports and exercise too. I'm not overweight or anything, but like you, I want to be in tip top shape before pregnancy and I am afraid of putting on and keeping on weight after the pregnancy. I don't think it's a bad thing to want to look good for your spouse!

 

[aviastar]

Haha, yes, I think everyone can agree that *labor* is hard on the pelvic floor- and everything else, too! I know you are doing PT to help now, which will surely be helpful later, but do you know if that kind of injury (is it an injury?) will affect future pregnancies (if you are thinking of future pregnancies) or have any long term effects? If I am prying too much, feel free to tell me- I'm just curious, because this seems like such a common, but difficult thing that would happen with labor. Kegals are the standard answer to many issues 'down there', do you feel that would have been able to prevent or strongly mitigate this if you had practiced the kegals throughout?

I wouldn't say it was an injury per se, just that the pelvic floor has weakened and isn't doing it's duties as a sling support for your uterus, bladder etc.

I think it would have helped me to do kegels throughout (I did them sporadically but not enough), BUT pelvic floor weakness happens to 1 in 3 women after having a baby. I am not sure that religously doing kegels would necessarily = no pelvic floor issues post birth for me. It may have lessened it though.

I didn't ever ask my physio whether having suffered pelvic floor issues after my 1st child would affect future pregnancies. I can only see it being an issue in that I might start out with a weaker pelvic floor for the next pregnancy - however, I would also be more aware of what can happen and do kegels a bit more! I meant to ask her about spacing pregnancies - ie whether it is better to have children closer or further apart to lessen any future weakness, but I forgot.

Thanks!

 

[aviastar]

Hi gem_anenome! I really enjoyed reading your wedding posts, great to see you over here!

I'll be 30 this year and I have been on BC for, gosh, probably 8 years now, so I hear you on wondering how long it will take to flush out of my system. I think it's just different for everyone; my sister got pregnant while using condoms, so after that baby she switched to birth control and almost immediately got pregnant again I've never so much as had a scare on BC.

In my mind, rationally, I was and am ok with the idea of waiting a year; for us that would be May. But my heart just does not want to wait that long. One of our main concerns is financial and we have stumbled on a bit of a financial boon completely unexpectedly. It's not quite what we wanted to have saved up, but it gets us a lot farther along than we thought we would be at this point. I feel like maybe God is just helping everything fall into place because it's TIME and there is a little soul all ready to join our family. I can't stand the idea of making him wait for me! My husband is not quite so convinved yet, but he knows how I feel about it and we've agreed to meet in the middle, time wise.

Yea for losing weight! I am only 2 classes into this aqua fitness thing, but man! I am seeing results already and it feels so good! My ballet workout came in yesterday so I am going to try it tonight. And you're right- I like looking good for my spouse, it makes him happy, which makes me happy, I have way more engery already and, um, more... which is important for babies!

 

[gem_anemone]

Hi gem_anenome! I really enjoyed reading your wedding posts, great to see you over here!

Thank you! BWW was not so lively when I was a BIW, but a few of us tried to keep it going

I'll be 30 this year and I have been on BC for, gosh, probably 8 years now, so I hear you on wondering how long it will take to flush out of my system. I think it's just different for everyone; my sister got pregnant while using condoms, so after that baby she switched to birth control and almost immediately got pregnant again I've never so much as had a scare on BC.

In my mind, rationally, I was and am ok with the idea of waiting a year; for us that would be May. But my heart just does not want to wait that long. One of our main concerns is financial and we have stumbled on a bit of a financial boon completely unexpectedly. It's not quite what we wanted to have saved up, but it gets us a lot farther along than we thought we would be at this point. I feel like maybe God is just helping everything fall into place because it's TIME and there is a little soul all ready to join our family. I can't stand the idea of making him wait for me! My husband is not quite so convinved yet, but he knows how I feel about it and we've agreed to meet in the middle, time wise.

I have been on BCP for 14 years Yes no scares here either, which is why I sometimes wonder if I can even get preggo!

From a financial aspect it's probably better for us if we wait the whole year, but it's just so hard... I'll be 33 next July! If we got some unexpected windfall I am certain we would be TTC now. It's nice that your husband is compromising on your date. That will give him a few more months of childless marriage bliss Part of me wants to talk my husband into trying now or sooner, but part of me thinks I should do the conservative thing and wait until we are financially ready. Plus we are talking about taking a vacation next year. Not sure I want to be preggo for our last trip before a baby.

 

[osu922]

Speaking of birth control, I think it depends on the person and how you respond to it. I was on birth control for 8 years and it seems I ovulated my first month off of it. While I was on birth control, I always got my period without fail. Then, my younger sister who was on it for 2 years ended up skipping her period more often than not (unintentionally). Long story short, she has been TTC since May of this year and her periods are just now starting to go back to normal, whereas mine were normal right after.

I think if you’re worried about it, give natural family planning a try. I have been using fertility friend to help track my cycles, and then during my fertile window, we use condoms. We’re 18 months in and no pregnancy scares yet.

Aviastar – I know! I’m counting down until December, we’ll be starting on my next cycle which will start roughly on December 9…. so add an extra 9 days

 

[honey22]

Hi ladies!! Dipping my toes in here as I am firmly in the waiting but waiting camp. We are planning to TTC around July/August but due to health issues I have a long way to go first.

I have a considerable amount of weight to lose (as in too embarassed to say how much, even more so that I had put it back on) and then I have to come off my methotrexate for at least 3 months. I have rheumatoid arthritis which makes TTC a whole big issue but I am so sure I will be okay and fulfull my dream of being a Mum.

Can I just stick around here for a few months? I think it will help me stay on track, to achieve my goals. I have a big year ahead, but I know it will all be worth it!

How's everyone else handling wanting but waiting? I feel like everyone I know is pregnant, even people not trying! The universe is mocking me with beautiful bellies everyone lol. I am so very happy for my friends though who are Mum's, they really are so very blessed.

 

[pancake]

I have been told by a physio who specialises in women's pelvic floor stuff that it's not even labour and delivery that is the kicker to the pelvic floor - it is pregnancy.

I didn't do anything before getting pregnant but the golden lining of having sacro-iliac joint problems from very early (1st tri) on in my pregnancy is that I did a lot of pilates to stabilise my pelvic girdle and core from the 2nd tri onwards. I don't know if it made a difference but I have not had any pelvic floor issues following the birth of my daughter and I am hoping to be in better core shape before I even fall pregnant next time.

I did intend to start pilates again early on post-partum, but bub is now 9 months old and I just started on Tuesday night, haha.

 

[Dandi]

I'm not Wanting but Waiting, just wanted to give a big hello and a wave to honey! So good to see you back again!!

 

[amc80]

I have been told by a physio who specialises in women's pelvic floor stuff that it's not even labour and delivery that is the kicker to the pelvic floor - it is pregnancy.

Could be. Before giving birth a had way more pelvic strength though. I'm guessing it is a combination if things. I'll blame hormones because they are an easy scapegoat

 

[amc80]

I have been told by a physio who specialises in women's pelvic floor stuff that it's not even labour and delivery that is the kicker to the pelvic floor - it is pregnancy.

Could be. Before giving birth a had way more pelvic strength though. I'm guessing it is a combination if things. I'll blame hormones because they are an easy scapegoat

 

[aviastar]

Speaking of birth control, I think it depends on the person and how you respond to it. I was on birth control for 8 years and it seems I ovulated my first month off of it. While I was on birth control, I always got my period without fail. Then, my younger sister who was on it for 2 years ended up skipping her period more often than not (unintentionally). Long story short, she has been TTC since May of this year and her periods are just now starting to go back to normal, whereas mine were normal right after.

I think if you’re worried about it, give natural family planning a try. I have been using fertility friend to help track my cycles, and then during my fertile window, we use condoms. We’re 18 months in and no pregnancy scares yet.

Aviastar – I know! I’m counting down until December, we’ll be starting on my next cycle which will start roughly on December 9…. so add an extra 9 days

My periods have always been completely normal and on time on BC, so fingers crossed I don't have much lag time after stopping. I'm actually a little bummed to be stopping BC for other reasons- I have terrible periods when off of it, and the BC completely regulates that, I don't have nearly the PMS symptoms, my mood is better, my skin is clearer. I am praying my TTC journey is quick because I *like* the side affects I get from BC! I've talked about PMDD and Endo with my GP, both of which she thinks are likely, but I have never investigated beyond that because the BC was so effective.

I do think I am ok fertility-wise, though, even with those factors; I was an egg donor and have had a whole fertility work up