Wanting but Waiting...

[coda72]

FancyPants. Thanks!


NEL, I don't think I'm going to wait a full cycle after I get AF. It seems like I usually ovulate 8-10 days after the beginning of AF, so I think we're going to try again then. Of course I may not start ovulating again right away, but hopefully all goes well, and I will.

JGator, thanks for the encouraging words. After learning that you are my age, I was looking back through your past posts, and they really helped me! I'm glad you have a healthy baby, and hopefully I will as well. I do like the fact that my husband and I have had 13 years to do many of the things we want to do, and we were discussing that once our child is old enough, we will resume the travelling with him/her. Our baby will be very well traveled since we like to go places three or four times a year.

 

[JGator]

Coda, I can't wait till we can start travelling again with our daughter too! We did just get her passport. She's 6 months old now - so hopefully it won't be too long! We are taking a short flight to see family next week so that will be our first travel with her, and then we'll be going to Europe to visit my husband's family later this year. I will be rooting for you.

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

So while at the baby shower I attended last weekend, I was pressed to join 'mombook' on facebook, which is a groups of local moms. Is this weird? They have a TTC section, so it isn't just for moms. Has anyone else done anything similar?

 

[monkeyprincess]

FPS, I think it depends on how comfortable you are having people know that you are TTC. I assume because it is associated with FB it is not anonymous and any of your friends could potentially see you are TTC. For me, I really didn't want people I know IRL to know I was TTC until I felt secure announcing a pregnancy. Only my family and a few close friends knew we were TTC last time around, and even they wouldn't have known if we hadn't had trouble conceiving. However, it sounds like you are pretty open with people about your desire to start trying for a baby, so that is probably not as big a concern for you. Like I said, it all really depends on how comfortable you are having making that information public. I forget, what is your TTC timeline or are you trying already?

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

Hey, MP! Actually, it's a private group that is not view-able to all of my fb friends. That said, I do have some friends on the mom board already, but I don't think it's a big shock that we're talking babies. I definitely don't want every single person I know to know what's up. I certainly don't mind getting some advice from moms or moms-to-be though. My only thing is that we won't be announcing to anyone in our public life when we do end up getting pregnant until we're outside of the 1st trimester. It will only be DH and myself and probably my Mom. We haven't discussed when we will want to start telling friends and other family, as we both worry about miscarriage. Any advise on that front?

At this point, DH and I are NTNP.

 

[gem_anemone]

Coda I just wanted to say I am sorry to hear of your loss, but like others have said its great to know you're sure about having a baby and I wish you the best when TTC.

FPS for the same reasons as MP I would not join anything baby related on FB. I am not sure I feel comfortable talking babies with even some of my closet friends until I am out of the first trimester. It's too close to home and there would maybe be people in the group lurking or who know who I am. For me PS is safe. At least I like to believe that

AFM I keep getting invited to do things during potential pregnancy! One is a weekend trip with friends, but it is exactly two weeks after I the first moment after TTC I could possibly find out I am pregnant. I want to say I would go just in case we are unsuccessful first try. I would not want to go pregnant because there are 4 other couples and I would not be comfortable telling all of them I am pregnant and they would know for sure if I was turning down adult beverages! I guess I could lie and say I was on antibiotic!

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

Coda I just wanted to say I am sorry to hear of your loss, but like others have said its great to know you're sure about having a baby and I wish you the best when TTC.

FPS for the same reasons as MP I would not join anything baby related on FB. I am not sure I feel comfortable talking babies with even some of my closet friends until I am out of the first trimester. It's too close to home and there would maybe be people in the group lurking or who know who I am. For me PS is safe. At least I like to believe that

AFM I keep getting invited to do things during potential pregnancy! One is a weekend trip with friends, but it is exactly two weeks after I the first moment after TTC I could possibly find out I am pregnant. I want to say I would go just in case we are unsuccessful first try. I would not want to go pregnant because there are 4 other couples and I would not be comfortable telling all of them I am pregnant and they would know for sure if I was turning down adult beverages! I guess I could lie and say I was on antibiotic!

The ol' antibiotic trick works every time!

As for the group, I actually had to request to join, so no lurkers can join or view anything. That made me think I would be 'safe' there. I just joined today, so I don't suppose I'll be posting uber personal info just yet.

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

Gem, my cousin was talking about a girl trip to Vegas during the time where I'll (potentially) be pregnant. Can we talk about a bummer! I'm leaving it open right now, but I won't want to go if I can't do Vegas like it should be done.

Hopefully you get pregnant during the first try and that those antibiotics just aren't settling well with the booze

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Coda I just wanted to say I am sorry to hear of your loss, but like others have said its great to know you're sure about having a baby and I wish you the best when TTC.

FPS for the same reasons as MP I would not join anything baby related on FB. I am not sure I feel comfortable talking babies with even some of my closet friends until I am out of the first trimester. It's too close to home and there would maybe be people in the group lurking or who know who I am. For me PS is safe. At least I like to believe that

AFM I keep getting invited to do things during potential pregnancy! One is a weekend trip with friends, but it is exactly two weeks after I the first moment after TTC I could possibly find out I am pregnant. I want to say I would go just in case we are unsuccessful first try. I would not want to go pregnant because there are 4 other couples and I would not be comfortable telling all of them I am pregnant and they would know for sure if I was turning down adult beverages! I guess I could lie and say I was on antibiotic!

GA, your concern about being invited to things while you are potentially pregnant is totally valid. My strategy was to accept things because I couldn't just assume that I WOULD be pregnant when the date rolled around. But then if you do get pregnant, you have to make up an excuse or spill the beans. I ended up spilling the beans early to a couple of friends because I had to, but I was okay with it.

Same thing with planning a vacation, right? We booked a vacation for September--I could either be in my first trimester and feeling absolutely awful or I could not be pregnant at all.

 

[gem_anemone]

Gem, my cousin was talking about a girl trip to Vegas during the time where I'll (potentially) be pregnant. Can we talk about a bummer! I'm leaving it open right now, but I won't want to go if I can't do Vegas like it should be done.

Hopefully you get pregnant during the first try and that those antibiotics just aren't settling well with the booze

Daaang! Vegas would be awesome!! You can always go after baby though if DH doesn't mind staying home hahaha! My BFF (who does not know about my plans to TTC due to her disinterest in kids and how she already told me she'll be "sad" when I get pregnant) was talking about doing a vacation over my bday next year. I certainly hope I am pregnant by then. I was noncommittal like.."oh that sounds fun!" But didn't feel like I could say anything

So I totally just changed my mind about planning and charting. I don't want to try blindly. I want to get it right sooner than later. I just told DH I am not starting a new pack of HBC on Sunday. I bought a basal thermometer and some OPKs. I am hoping to see signs of regularity by July!

 

[gem_anemone]

Coda I just wanted to say I am sorry to hear of your loss, but like others have said its great to know you're sure about having a baby and I wish you the best when TTC.

FPS for the same reasons as MP I would not join anything baby related on FB. I am not sure I feel comfortable talking babies with even some of my closet friends until I am out of the first trimester. It's too close to home and there would maybe be people in the group lurking or who know who I am. For me PS is safe. At least I like to believe that

AFM I keep getting invited to do things during potential pregnancy! One is a weekend trip with friends, but it is exactly two weeks after I the first moment after TTC I could possibly find out I am pregnant. I want to say I would go just in case we are unsuccessful first try. I would not want to go pregnant because there are 4 other couples and I would not be comfortable telling all of them I am pregnant and they would know for sure if I was turning down adult beverages! I guess I could lie and say I was on antibiotic!

GA, your concern about being invited to things while you are potentially pregnant is totally valid. My strategy was to accept things because I couldn't just assume that I WOULD be pregnant when the date rolled around. But then if you do get pregnant, you have to make up an excuse or spill the beans. I ended up spilling the beans early to a couple of friends because I had to, but I was okay with it.

Same thing with planning a vacation, right? We booked a vacation for September--I could either be in my first trimester and feeling absolutely awful or I could not be pregnant at all.

NEL that is a good strategy and I may adopt it. Haha. I am a terrible liar! DH and I have our vacation the first week of July. I should have AF the second week and after that we will begin to TTC. So I guess we pretty much planned our vacation around it

We normally would do an Oct/Nov vacation but I will possibly be knocked up by then. DH and I are active people so vacation for us without some rugged activity would probably be boring to us!

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

Gem, right!?! The only thing we'd have to pay is airfare, since they have a timeshare. We'll just have to see

So, that's kind of a bummer about your friend. It sucks that you can't share those things, but maybe she'll come around. If not, at least you know where you stand with her and you can reflect on the positive stuff. A really good friend of mine went through this when she got married. She was REALLY close with this other girl, but when my friend got engaged and married (granted, it was a little sudden, but they had know each other since middle school and just 'knew'), she ended up losing a friend, but gained an amazing husband. Some friends just aren't in it for the long haul.

I am all for charting! I feel super confident that I know exactly what is going on with my body. The temp thing is SOOOO easy and just watching out for you CF is a piece of cake, so it isn't really 'work'. I haven't tried opks, but they seem super helpful. Woohoo for jumping on board!!

 

[amc80]

AFM I keep getting invited to do things during potential pregnancy! One is a weekend trip with friends, but it is exactly two weeks after I the first moment after TTC I could possibly find out I am pregnant. I want to say I would go just in case we are unsuccessful first try. I would not want to go pregnant because there are 4 other couples and I would not be comfortable telling all of them I am pregnant and they would know for sure if I was turning down adult beverages! I guess I could lie and say I was on antibiotic!

I found out I was pregnant on the 2nd to last day of our cruise...our wedding cruise/honeymoon with 22 of our friends and family. And I found out the morning that most of us were going to an all you can eat/drink beach resort. My strategy, which worked- when the waiter came by to take orders I would say I was still deciding. Then a few minutes after he'd leave I'd "make up my mind," go to the bar and order a virgin drink that looked alcoholic. Same thing when we were back on the ship that night. Worked like a charm!

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

AFM I keep getting invited to do things during potential pregnancy! One is a weekend trip with friends, but it is exactly two weeks after I the first moment after TTC I could possibly find out I am pregnant. I want to say I would go just in case we are unsuccessful first try. I would not want to go pregnant because there are 4 other couples and I would not be comfortable telling all of them I am pregnant and they would know for sure if I was turning down adult beverages! I guess I could lie and say I was on antibiotic!

I found out I was pregnant on the 2nd to last day of our cruise...our wedding cruise/honeymoon with 22 of our friends and family. And I found out the morning that most of us were going to an all you can eat/drink beach resort. My strategy, which worked- when the waiter came by to take orders I would say I was still deciding. Then a few minutes after he'd leave I'd "make up my mind," go to the bar and order a virgin drink that looked alcoholic. Same thing when we were back on the ship that night. Worked like a charm!

AMC, you little trickster! This is an awesome way to do things!

 

[coda72]

Gem and JGator, thanks for your kind wishes.

AF arrived rather unexpectedly for me yesterday. I was thinking it was going to be much longer until it returned. So, I guess we'll TTC next week, but I'm somehow thinking ovulation won't return to normal just yet. I may buy some OPK just to see what's happening.

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

Gem and JGator, thanks for your kind wishes.

AF arrived rather unexpectedly for me yesterday. I was thinking it was going to be much longer until it returned. So, I guess we'll TTC next week, but I'm somehow thinking ovulation won't return to normal just yet. I may buy some OPK just to see what's happening.

This is a good thing! Hopefully this pushes your cycle right back to where it should be and you can start TTC ASAP! I would definitely get the OPK's, just to be safe and to make sure you cover all of your bases with the right BD timing.

 

[gem_anemone]

AFM I keep getting invited to do things during potential pregnancy! One is a weekend trip with friends, but it is exactly two weeks after I the first moment after TTC I could possibly find out I am pregnant. I want to say I would go just in case we are unsuccessful first try. I would not want to go pregnant because there are 4 other couples and I would not be comfortable telling all of them I am pregnant and they would know for sure if I was turning down adult beverages! I guess I could lie and say I was on antibiotic!

I found out I was pregnant on the 2nd to last day of our cruise...our wedding cruise/honeymoon with 22 of our friends and family. And I found out the morning that most of us were going to an all you can eat/drink beach resort. My strategy, which worked- when the waiter came by to take orders I would say I was still deciding. Then a few minutes after he'd leave I'd "make up my mind," go to the bar and order a virgin drink that looked alcoholic. Same thing when we were back on the ship that night. Worked like a charm!

Hahaha this is great!!

Coda good luck

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Coda I just wanted to say I am sorry to hear of your loss, but like others have said its great to know you're sure about having a baby and I wish you the best when TTC.

FPS for the same reasons as MP I would not join anything baby related on FB. I am not sure I feel comfortable talking babies with even some of my closet friends until I am out of the first trimester. It's too close to home and there would maybe be people in the group lurking or who know who I am. For me PS is safe. At least I like to believe that

AFM I keep getting invited to do things during potential pregnancy! One is a weekend trip with friends, but it is exactly two weeks after I the first moment after TTC I could possibly find out I am pregnant. I want to say I would go just in case we are unsuccessful first try. I would not want to go pregnant because there are 4 other couples and I would not be comfortable telling all of them I am pregnant and they would know for sure if I was turning down adult beverages! I guess I could lie and say I was on antibiotic!

GA, your concern about being invited to things while you are potentially pregnant is totally valid. My strategy was to accept things because I couldn't just assume that I WOULD be pregnant when the date rolled around. But then if you do get pregnant, you have to make up an excuse or spill the beans. I ended up spilling the beans early to a couple of friends because I had to, but I was okay with it.

Same thing with planning a vacation, right? We booked a vacation for September--I could either be in my first trimester and feeling absolutely awful or I could not be pregnant at all.

NEL that is a good strategy and I may adopt it. Haha. I am a terrible liar! DH and I have our vacation the first week of July. I should have AF the second week and after that we will begin to TTC. So I guess we pretty much planned our vacation around it

We normally would do an Oct/Nov vacation but I will possibly be knocked up by then. DH and I are active people so vacation for us without some rugged activity would probably be boring to us!

Yes, get all of the rugged vacations in while you can! DH and I are the same and we had a bucket list of vacations we wanted to take before having kids. Those trips were a blast--in fact we have a wall of photos dedicated to those trips in our house. People say you can travel after having kids and it's true (and we do), but it's completely different if you're used to vacations packed with hiking/exploring. Vacations with your kid(s) are so much fun--I didn't realize how much fun they'd be, but it will be awhile until we take another rugged vacation.

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

So, I was recently scoping out my insurance benefits and noticed that maternity is not included in the plan I have (I'm a private payer and have bcbs). When I inquired about changing this, they said I would have to apply to have the change made and after they approve it, it will still take 10 months to go into effect...um, TEN FREAKING MONTHS?!?! So yeah, if we get pregnant in that 10 months, I won't be covered. Awesome. Just freaking awesome. Ladies, check your insurance. I was shocked to discover this isn't just an automatically covered thing and now I'll be paying the price in one way or another. What a bummer! Am I the only person who didn't know this?!

 

[amc80]

So, I was recently scoping out my insurance benefits and noticed that maternity is not included in the plan I have (I'm a private payer and have bcbs). When I inquired about changing this, they said I would have to apply to have the change made and after they approve it, it will still take 10 months to go into effect...um, TEN FREAKING MONTHS?!?! So yeah, if we get pregnant in that 10 months, I won't be covered. Awesome. Just freaking awesome. Ladies, check your insurance. I was shocked to discover this isn't just an automatically covered thing and now I'll be paying the price in one way or another. What a bummer! Am I the only person who didn't know this?!

I thought under obamacare that pregnancy can't be a pre existing condition? In which case you might have some options. I'd call them.

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

AMC, do you know when that will be effective? And who should I call to check?

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

If you mean the insurance company, they aren't going to do anything to help.

 

[amc80]

If you mean the insurance company, they aren't going to do anything to help.

Maybe an insurance broker?

 

[amc80]

AMC, do you know when that will be effective? And who should I call to check?

I don't, it's just one of those things I thought I read over and over.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

FPS, I'm so sorry to hear that ob is not covered under your plan. The exact same thing happened to my sister (she was also a private payer) when she unexpectedly became pregnant.

Long story short, she ended up switching to her boyfriend's insurance as a "domestic partner". The insurance coverage started immediately and she only had to pay for the first few months of lab work out of pocket.

Is switching to your husband's insurance an option? If not, I would probably shop around for a new private policy. It seems like starting over would be faster than making a change in your current plan, which would take 10 months. I'm sure you're not thrilled with the idea of waiting 10 more months to start trying.

 

[monkeyprincess]

FPS, unfortunately that is pretty standard for individual insurance policies. As NEL said, if it is at all possible for either you or your husband to get group health insurance from your employer, that would probably be your best bet, although you may have to wait for an open enrollment period. One other thing to look at is whether your policy would cover your expenses after the 10 months expire. I know that some plans will cover pregnancy expenses so long as the baby is born more than 10 months after you apply for the maternity coverage (depending on how your doctor's office bills prenatal care). However, all of these things are dependent on your particular policy and state law. Good thing you checked when you did, so you can figure out what your options are.

 

[gem_anemone]

That sucks about your coverage. I'm assuming the 10 months timeframe is no coincidence! Hoping you don't have to wait that long!!

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

Ladies, I am so drained having to deal with insurance people. I get that it is a business and they want to make money, but they don't seem to be offering up a ton of help or options. Unfortunately it isn't possible to switch to my husband's policy because his is just terrible! I do like bcbs, which sucks because they aren't helping with the most important thing I'll ever have to deal with.

AMC, I'm going to look more into the Obamacare thing and see what i can find. I posted something on mombook (it's a facebook thing I motioned for moms, moms to be and ttc ladies) about it and they said that if I do become pregnant and insurance isn't willing to work with me, I may have to apply for medicaid for assistance. Apparently if you're pregnant in MD, they have to cover you, regardless of income. I worry that this isn't the case because I do make decent money and I freaking already have insurance! I guess we shall see how the cards play out. In the meantime, I am going to check out other insurance plans. Not only would it be a 10 month wait, but it would be an additional $126 monthly. I'm already paying $264. Ugh.

 

[amc80]

Ladies, I am so drained having to deal with insurance people. I get that it is a business and they want to make money, but they don't seem to be offering up a ton of help or options. Unfortunately it isn't possible to switch to my husband's policy because his is just terrible! I do like bcbs, which sucks because they aren't helping with the most important thing I'll ever have to deal with.

AMC, I'm going to look more into the Obamacare thing and see what i can find. I posted something on mombook (it's a facebook thing I motioned for moms, moms to be and ttc ladies) about it and they said that if I do become pregnant and insurance isn't willing to work with me, I may have to apply for medicaid for assistance. Apparently if you're pregnant in MD, they have to cover you, regardless of income. I worry that this isn't the case because I do make decent money and I freaking already have insurance! I guess we shall see how the cards play out. In the meantime, I am going to check out other insurance plans. Not only would it be a 10 month wait, but it would be an additional $126 monthly. I'm already paying $264. Ugh.

Look at this- http://www.healthcare.gov/law/information-for-you/pregnant-women.html

Starting in 2014, job-based health plans and new individual plans won’t be allowed to deny or exclude anyone or charge more for a pre-existing condition, including pregnancy or a disability.

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

Thank you sooo much, AMC!! It's good to know that after 2014, women won't have to jump through hoops! Scheesh. I wish I would have been more educated, but its not like anyone will be like 'oh hey, don't forget to add this!'. I certainly wasn't thinking babies when i originally signed up for the insurance 3 years ago.