Wanting but Waiting...

[lliang_chi]

NEL, I'm really glad you popped in here. LOL how your DH's project hasn't even been touched yet. I was wondering what you did with K when you had your Uber House Painting Project. I figure I'll try doing stuff during nap and sleep times. But the problem is it's our master bedroom, so if/when we want to go to sleep, it'll be tricky. Oh well, we'll figure it out. I told J I need his help to move furniture, but I'd rather not have him do anything else. He kinda just gets in the way. I'd rather not pay someone to paint the trim since it's *just* the trim. I figure I can bang it out in a weekend, I just need J to watch Ethan while I'm doing it.
I think I'll follow your lead with the birth control method. I remember your DH's "emergency condom." I really wanted to have my Mirena removed by Sept latest. When I told him I was planning on having it removed in August, J's response? First: A tongue-in-cheek "Improvised Explosive Device?" (he works for a defense contractor) Then he said, "Well, we said at least 3 yrs, so that gives us... until May, right?" Which I interpret as he thinks I take the Mirena out and I *magically* get pregnant THAT NIGHT. Unfortunately I'm pretty sure that J can hold out longer than I can, so I'm not sure how that's going to work, but I might just tell him, I'm taking it out in September and can plan accordingly.

FPS Woo hoo that your DH is working on the house all on his own! Whatever gave him his inspiration, I hope it continues Also since he's STARTING, he'll probably get more motivation as the project progresses and get fueled on. Make sure you interject with a lot of, "Wow, I can't believe how good the front room looks already! You're so good at this stuff!" (Why is it that men are so high maintenance like this? It's like dealing with a toddler)
Yard sale sounds AWESOME. And you can use the proceeds of it to fund the decor projects you'll have once all the work is done with the home reno. We don't have a basement so I can't relate to the scary basement scenario. But I was the organization mastermind behind our storage unit, which probably needs a good purge too. You're inspiring me to go through and get rid of all my crap Good luck with your basement purge too!

 

[Dandi]

Well, it has happened...the idea of another baby is no longer making me want to crawl into a hole. It's almost a welcome challenge...like we were such idiots trying to figure out #1 that #2 will be a breeze. So I almost want another just so I can see how easy it will be. Is that weird?

Not at all, I am kind of feeling the same way!! I was so, so stressed and anxious when O was a newborn that I kind of regret the fact that I didn't enjoy him as much as I feel I should/could have, especially as he is such an easy, laid back baby. Although I'm sure the next baby we have will be a little bugger, given that we struck it lucky with O But then again I'll be a lot more confident with baby #2, but then again, throw a toddler into the mix... ahhh! DH wants another one now. At least I've got that bit sorted out, that I am NOT ready yet! O is nearly 7 months, so I reckon we will start trying in a year or so. Maybe?!?!

 

[amc80]

DH and I were discussing how it would be fun to just not prevent and see what happens....then we realized we are two for two as far as getting pregnant, so it would probably just result in a BFP the first month. Don't get me wrong, I am extremely grateful that babymaking comes so easily, but it means not preventing = trying.

 

[lliang_chi]

AMC, yikes you bring up a very valid point. At least you guys know what your chances are now, right?

Dani, Ethan's right at the 17 month mark (so kinda when you think you'll be ready) and not gonna lie, the baby fever is definitely palatable. I've got the opposite where my DH doesn't feel ready yet, but I am. Enjoy your sweet man until then. Each stage gets better and better.

AFU: slowly working on house stuff. We've had a busy week so haven't been able to do anything recently, but over the holiday weekend we finished up Ethan's room. It looks good enough now. I have to admit Ethan is at such a fun age right now, I'm going to be a little sad if my attention will be divided (who are we kidding, mostly focused on) a newborn when/if we finally have a 2nd. It's a joy to watch him learn and see the wonderment in his eyes. And he always beams with this proud smile when he learns something new. Warms my heart.

 

[mayerling]

I've officially gone crazy! I just took a pregnancy test because my period was due today and as of 4pm it hasn't arrived. I've been peeing a lot lately (which was my first symptom during my pregnancy with N), and because I missed my pill a couple of times last month I was convinced that I was pregnant. Thankfully, it was a Big Fat Negative! I have to say, 12 months in and the thought of another child is just scary.

 

[amc80]

AMC, yikes you bring up a very valid point. At least you guys know what your chances are now, right?

You'd think so...but the irrational part of me still says you never know...I mean I'm 33 now and was a mere 31 last time...

 

[NewEnglandLady]

amc, I admit that I had your fear. I kept thinking that it was easy for us the first time, so we were bound to have a tougher go of it the second time around. I kept thinking about Rosie Pope--not sure if you've heard of her, but she had her own show for awhile where she was a baby concierge--anyway, she ended up having unexplained infertility with her second child and I kept thinking "what if that's me?".

We'd always planned for the kids to be spaced at least 2 years apart, so when we had the "green light" to try in May, I thought I'd take the laid back NTNP approach. The thing is, after tracking on and off for the past few years, I knew when I was ovulating even without the OPKs. And we had a lot of sex, so there was really no "targeting", anyway. Result: BFP the first month NTNP.

I'd say if it was easy for you the first two times, it's very likely you won't have any issues the third time. I know that doesn't help with the irrational part of your brain, but I'd definitely say that with your good track record, it's good to wait until you're 100% ready before trying for #2. Otherwise you'll probably be in the "Crap! I didn't think it was going to happen this fast, I'm not ready" boat (with me).

 

[amc80]

amc, I admit that I had your fear. I kept thinking that it was easy for us the first time, so we were bound to have a tougher go of it the second time around. I kept thinking about Rosie Pope--not sure if you've heard of her, but she had her own show for awhile where she was a baby concierge--anyway, she ended up having unexplained infertility with her second child and I kept thinking "what if that's me?".

We'd always planned for the kids to be spaced at least 2 years apart, so when we had the "green light" to try in May, I thought I'd take the laid back NTNP approach. The thing is, after tracking on and off for the past few years, I knew when I was ovulating even without the OPKs. And we had a lot of sex, so there was really no "targeting", anyway. Result: BFP the first month NTNP.

I'd say if it was easy for you the first two times, it's very likely you won't have any issues the third time. I know that doesn't help with the irrational part of your brain, but I'd definitely say that with your good track record, it's good to wait until you're 100% ready before trying for #2. Otherwise you'll probably be in the "Crap! I didn't think it was going to happen this fast, I'm not ready" boat (with me).

Ah, Rosie Pope....her accent is so freaking annoying. But her show was entertaining!

I know you're right. There's no reason to think this time will be any different. That reaction was exactly what happened the first month we tried....the "nobody gets pregnant their first month trying" approach. Of course that one ended in a chemical pregnancy, but a BFP is a BFP. I'm like you, I know when I'm ovulating. I am tempted to buy OPKs just to "make sure" but I really don't need them....EWCM = time to to....no EWCM = ovulation has occurred. Doesn't get much easier than that! And honestly, if I don't get pregnant in the first month or two I'm okay with it....being 9 months pregnant in August wasn't fun the first time around, and September or October sounds much cooler.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

Completely agree about her accent. I didn't even regularly watch her show, but if I ever turned it on my husband would run from the room because he couldn't take her voice.

I've always wanted an October baby. Like, I'm so obsessed with doing fun Halloween birthday parties that I may very well throw one for my kids some year (in February). I am 99.9% sure we're done at 2, but if my husband ever convinces me to have a 3rd, my one condition will be that we time it so the baby is due in October. Of course, we probably wouldn't get pregnant that time we tried.

 

[monkeyprincess]

Completely agree about her accent. I didn't even regularly watch her show, but if I ever turned it on my husband would run from the room because he couldn't take her voice.

I've always wanted an October baby. Like, I'm so obsessed with doing fun Halloween birthday parties that I may very well throw one for my kids some year (in February). I am 99.9% sure we're done at 2, but if my husband ever convinces me to have a 3rd, my one condition will be that we time it so the baby is due in October. Of course, we probably wouldn't get pregnant that time we tried.

Ha. NEL and amc, you guys are cracking me up with your conversation. I must say, as a person who struggles with fertility, I would do anything to know that all I had to do was have sex at the right time of the month, and I'd get pregnant, but I know what you are saying. On a related note, I about wanted to karate chop my SIL last weekend. I was holding her 1.5 month old daughter, and she asked me when and if I was planning to have another baby (nobody other than you lovely PS ladies know we are TTC again). Anyway, I said we'd love to have another baby, and we just hoped we are able to given our difficulties conceiving Ev. Then she says, "We actually have the opposite problem. We get pregnant way too easily, and I didn't think it would happen so fast." She and my brother have three kids, and from what I gather, she and my brother pretty much conceive every time they have sex. She's so clueless though to say something like that when both my sister and I struggled to conceive. I held my tongue, but I wanted to say, well, at least your "problem" can easily be treated by abstaining or using birth control!

NEL, I must say, I was thrilled when I found out I would be having a baby in October. There is just something about that month and fall that I love. Can't wait until he is older and having birthday parties

amc, I strongly suspect you are going to be TTC before long. I remember how impatient you were to get going last time

 

[amc80]

Completely agree about her accent. I didn't even regularly watch her show, but if I ever turned it on my husband would run from the room because he couldn't take her voice.

I've always wanted an October baby. Like, I'm so obsessed with doing fun Halloween birthday parties that I may very well throw one for my kids some year (in February). I am 99.9% sure we're done at 2, but if my husband ever convinces me to have a 3rd, my one condition will be that we time it so the baby is due in October. Of course, we probably wouldn't get pregnant that time we tried.

Ha. NEL and amc, you guys are cracking me up with your conversation. I must say, as a person who struggles with fertility, I would do anything to know that all I had to do was have sex at the right time of the month, and I'd get pregnant, but I know what you are saying. On a related note, I about wanted to karate chop my SIL last weekend. I was holding her 1.5 month old daughter, and she asked me when and if I was planning to have another baby (nobody other than you lovely PS ladies know we are TTC again). Anyway, I said we'd love to have another baby, and we just hoped we are able to given our difficulties conceiving Ev. Then she says, "We actually have the opposite problem. We get pregnant way too easily, and I didn't think it would happen so fast." She and my brother have three kids, and from what I gather, she and my brother pretty much conceive every time they have sex. She's so clueless though to say something like that when both my sister and I struggled to conceive. I held my tongue, but I wanted to say, well, at least your "problem" can easily be treated by abstaining or using birth control!

NEL, I must say, I was thrilled when I found out I would be having a baby in October. There is just something about that month and fall that I love. Can't wait until he is older and having birthday parties

amc, I strongly suspect you are going to be TTC before long. I remember how impatient you were to get going last time

I don't want to make it sound like easy conception is a problem! I'm so so so grateful that I don't have to struggle. It just means we have to be a bit more careful....especially because we don't use anything and I'm not on BCP. Pull and pray, baby, pull and pray.

If I didn't have baby weight to lose I would probably be TTC right now. But I really hate being fat and REALLY don't want to get fat on top of being fat, you know?

 

[monkeyprincess]

amc, I know you weren't saying it was a problem and don't take it for granted. Besides, problems are all relative, you know? And I hear on the baby weight thing. I lost all of my weight quickly, but once I started back at work, I can't seem to find the time to cook healthy meals or workout like I used to, so I feel out of shape and just pudgier than I was pre-baby. Yet, I'm not really doing anything to change that. First world problems, as they say

 

[NewEnglandLady]

MP, I can't believe your SIL said that to you, especially knowing that you had fertility issues when conceiving Ev. I also can't believe that she said getting pregnant easily is a "problem". At most (as amc said), it's a consideration and a reminder to be extra diligent about BC, but any woman I know who's gotten pregnant easily considers it a huge blessing.

Oddly, the vast majority of my friends (and relatives) have either gotten pregnant very easily, or have had fertility issues. I have 2 friends who've been trying for a year and I really struggled with telling them. They were both very sweet about it (and one just told me yesterday that she got a BFP), but I do think there should be some sensitivity around it. I'll never forget when I was having coffee with a friend (who was going through IVF after trying for over a year) and we ran into an old coworker who was pregnant. My friend congratulated our old coworker and when the conversation turned to babies, admitted that she'd been having some struggles with getting pregnant. Our old coworker replied by saying "You should just relax. We conceived while on vacation...you should try doing that!" I thought my eyes might pop out of my head...some people just don't seem to get it.

 

[monkeyprincess]

NEL, yes, my SIL can be pretty clueless. And it's not like any of their three were unwanted or unplanned, so I have no idea why she even felt a need to say that. You are so sweet to be concerned about your friends' feelings when announcing your pregnancy, but you can't feel guilty that you and DH are healthy and your bodies do what they are meant to do, you know? I'm envious of people who can get pregnant easily, but I don't expect them to walk on eggshells around me or apologize for it. Hopefully, your friends feel the same way and I'm sure they appreciate your tact. I should also say that I know that I am pretty lucky that it didn't take me that long to conceive in the grand scheme of things and that I at least know there are treatments available and I'm able to conceive and carry a baby to full-term.

Sorry to dominate this thread with my subfertility talk! I hope all the ladies on here will have no trouble conceiving once they are no longer waiting!

 

[lliang_chi]

AMC, well, in my opinion, NEL's "surprise baby" boat isn't bad company, but I think you have a pretty great plan/goals before you start TTC again. Until then we're happy to have you on this thread. But I do admit, if I had your track record, I dunno if I could stomach the risk of pull n' pray method. Although I suppose you're doing more TCOYF informed "rhythm" method than teenage PnP (<--- wow, that now makes Ethan's Pack n' Play have a whole new meaning... )

NEL I totally want a June baby because I want an excuse to have a picnic/outdoor party in June when the weather's FINALLY nice in Chicago. That way we can have like BBQs and volleyball games etc. June is the best weather in Chicago since it's not too hot, and we're past the "surprise it's snowing" BS that Chicago weather pulls in MAY sometimes! But now that you mention it, a Halloween baby sounds pretty darn awesome.

 

[amc80]

AMC, well, in my opinion, NEL's "surprise baby" boat isn't bad company, but I think you have a pretty great plan/goals before you start TTC again. Until then we're happy to have you on this thread. But I do admit, if I had your track record, I dunno if I could stomach the risk of pull n' pray method. Although I suppose you're doing more TCOYF informed "rhythm" method than teenage PnP (<--- wow, that now makes Ethan's Pack n' Play have a whole new meaning... )

Well I figure we did that method for two years before TTC so we are either really good at it or really lucky. Plus we aren't doing it a whole lot these days anyway (between B not sleeping, DH's crappy work schedule, etc.) so that helps

 

[bobbin]

Nel: I'm a Halloween baby (30 October) and I have only ever had one halloween birthday party! But that's probably because I'm Australian and it isn't really a big holiday here.

AMC: DH and I have been using the PnP method too since C was born. It makes me incredibly nervous but condoms irritate me, I am still BF'ing so I can't use the regular pill and I have had bad reactions to the pill before so I don't really want to go on any kind of hormonal BC anyway. But like you it is pretty infrequent considering Charlotte is a frequent waker and we are co-sleeping!

 

[lliang_chi]

AMC, Bobbin, hoping your LOs sleep through the night soon. For both your sleep and sex-life sake. LOL

AFU, just got back from a family wedding. Everyone ooh and aah'ed over Ethan. Which of course makes me a proud mama. But then they started asking, "When's the 2nd one?" Dude, really? You want to know how many times I have sex with my husband? (Which the past few months have been zero, but I'm find telling you guys that). Guh, family can be so inappropriate sometimes.

 

[megumic]

I'm getting suuuuuper itchy over here for #2....

We really don't have our finances where we'd like them. I don't know how we'd afford two in daycare and actually think a nanny would be cheaper. I also don't know how I'd work full-time like I do if there were two. Eeeeeks.

How does everyone else imagine their life with another kiddo???

 

[lliang_chi]

RIght now I can't picture the logistics of having a 2nd child, but I do picture Ethan as an older brother. I think we would still do daycare. Mostly because as an older toddler, the daily interaction of other kids would be very very beneficial for Ethan. And it makes no sense paying for a nanny AND daycare.

 

[amc80]

I'm getting suuuuuper itchy over here for #2....

We really don't have our finances where we'd like them. I don't know how we'd afford two in daycare and actually think a nanny would be cheaper. I also don't know how I'd work full-time like I do if there were two. Eeeeeks.

How does everyone else imagine their life with another kiddo???

Maybe we will be preggo buddies again? We could do #2 at daycare but it would be tough. More than likely we would try to talk DH's parents into moving into town (they are about an hour away) and we would pay them to watch the kids....maybe have B in a part time preschool type thing.

 

[NewEnglandLady]

I'm getting suuuuuper itchy over here for #2....

We really don't have our finances where we'd like them. I don't know how we'd afford two in daycare and actually think a nanny would be cheaper. I also don't know how I'd work full-time like I do if there were two. Eeeeeks.

How does everyone else imagine their life with another kiddo???

I imagine being much busier and much more poor

We are really struggling with the childcare issue because our plans are not working out. I find the logistics around childcare (especially if you have no family help) to be the toughest part of planning for #2 so far.

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

So ladies, I've kind of been holding out on you...



Yep, I'M PREGNANT!! Remember how I mentioned that the hubs wanted to be surprised and not really ttc? Well, the ONE time we didn't use any bc during O time, I conceived! As you can imagine, we were definitely surprised!! As of Wednesday, I'll be 16 weeks along and I'm due January 6th. I'm ecstatic and completely terrified and really just in love with our little lump! Today we announced on facebook with a few pictures, but I can't seem to get any to upload on here..scheesh! Now, which thread should I join to talk pregnancy craziness?!

 

[mayerling]

So ladies, I've kind of been holding out on you...



Yep, I'M PREGNANT!! Remember how I mentioned that the hubs wanted to be surprised and not really ttc? Well, the ONE time we didn't use any bc during O time, I conceived! As you can imagine, we were definitely surprised!! As of Wednesday, I'll be 16 weeks along and I'm due January 6th. I'm ecstatic and completely terrified and really just in love with our little lump! Today we announced on facebook with a few pictures, but I can't seem to get any to upload on here..scheesh! Now, which thread should I join to talk pregnancy craziness?!

Congratulations!
Since you're over the first trimester, you should probably join the Calling all the pregnant PSers thread. I don't think 16 weeks qualifies as barely pregnant.

 

[lliang_chi]

Congrats FPS! Yes, Preggo thread seems like the best spot for you. Wow, glad you guys got your surprise

 

[gem_anemone]

OMG FPS! Congrats! That is so exciting!! First try just like me! Way to go!!!

 

[monkeyprincess]

Congrats Fancy! You have a lot more self control than I do. I didn't tell anyone I was pregnant other than my mom and sisters until about 13-14 weeks, and I would have gone crazy if I didn't have my online "friends" to discuss it with in the early days!

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

Thank you, ladies! We are super excited, a little freaked out and mostly just in awe that it happened so quickly. The hubs made sure to tell me that he knew this would happen to us...oppsy! Either way, we're overjoyed!

LC, you'll be happy to know that DH is actually taking off all next week so he can finish the front room, which will allow his evenings and some weekend time to go all towards the bathroom. Thankfully the only house project after the bathroom (or, in the middle of all that) will be painting the nursery after we find out the sex. Woohoo!!!

Gem, it's nuts, right?! Even at 16 weeks, I'm STILL in disbelief! A friend loaned me her doppler, so every couple of days I like to check in on the heartbeat to make sure everything wasn't just in my head. The growing little tummy of mine should definitely be another indication of the fact that we have a bay in there!! How is you DH with the pregnancy? Mine now likes to have his hand on my stomach when we're lying on the couch watching tv in the evenings...it's pretty damn adorable!!

MP, yeah we told all the important people and a few close friends, I just didn't want my whole life knowing that we are expecting until we were out of the first trimester...I'm a panic-er lol

 

[gem_anemone]

Gem, it's nuts, right?! Even at 16 weeks, I'm STILL in disbelief! A friend loaned me her doppler, so every couple of days I like to check in on the heartbeat to make sure everything wasn't just in my head. The growing little tummy of mine should definitely be another indication of the fact that we have a bay in there!! How is you DH with the pregnancy? Mine now likes to have his hand on my stomach when we're lying on the couch watching tv in the evenings...it's pretty damn adorable!!

I don't want to take up too much space in the WBW thread for this, but my DH is super excited and so cute! Every day I am getting a text about how he loves his baby and his baby's mama!! It also took a minute for me to sink in that I was really pregnant, probably until 5 or 6 days after I missed AF. I do not have much going on with the tummy... but the boobs... OMG!! So sore!!

 

[amc80]

FPS- Congrats! You sure held out on us