Wanting but Waiting...

[shihtzulover]

Is anyone still around here, or has everyone moved on to TTC or the pregnancy threads?

DH and I want to start trying for our first baby probably in a few months or so, although we don't have any specific timeline right now. I had my TTC appointment with a new ob-gyn yesterday, and I really like him. I also really like the atmosphere of the practice, so I'm really excited to work with them.

I have a Paragard (copper IUD), and we'll probably have it removed in a couple of months. Then, the dr. recommends waiting a cycle or two before trying, but I've heard that's not necessary.

I'm also going to start on a prenatal vitamin, but I'm kind of concerned about possible side effects. Do you ladies have any insights on this?

We also discussed my fear that I'm not ovulating. I have always had very predictable ovulation every cycle, complete with all of the symptoms, including mittelschmerz. I got on Prozac a handful of months ago, and since then, I don't have those symptoms anymore, and my periods have gotten lighter (down to brown spotting and very little red). I have a history of depression and anxiety that can get really bad if I don't take the medication (I was off for a few years, and it was unbearable) though, so I don't want to stop taking it unless I absolutely have to.

He seems to think that I likely am still ovulating because my cycles are still the same length that they've always been (~26 days, give or take a couple of days). He offered to let me come in to have my progesterone tested on cycle day 20, but that's this Thursday and I'm not sure that I can get away from work. I'm not really sure if I should be worried about that yet or not.

I'm so excited to get started, but also nervous. I have so much going on at work right now, including a huge project that will mostly be over at the end of April 2014, but will go on a bit through July 2014 (but it probably won't be essential that I be there past the beginning of May). I'm hoping that I don't get too sick and that I can keep up with everything.

 

[amc80]

Is anyone still around here, or has everyone moved on to TTC or the pregnancy threads?

DH and I want to start trying for our first baby probably in a few months or so, although we don't have any specific timeline right now. I had my TTC appointment with a new ob-gyn yesterday, and I really like him. I also really like the atmosphere of the practice, so I'm really excited to work with them.

I have a Paragard (copper IUD), and we'll probably have it removed in a couple of months. Then, the dr. recommends waiting a cycle or two before trying, but I've heard that's not necessary.

I'm also going to start on a prenatal vitamin, but I'm kind of concerned about possible side effects. Do you ladies have any insights on this?

We also discussed my fear that I'm not ovulating. I have always had very predictable ovulation every cycle, complete with all of the symptoms, including mittelschmerz. I got on Prozac a handful of months ago, and since then, I don't have those symptoms anymore, and my periods have gotten lighter (down to brown spotting and very little red). I have a history of depression and anxiety that can get really bad if I don't take the medication (I was off for a few years, and it was unbearable) though, so I don't want to stop taking it unless I absolutely have to.

He seems to think that I likely am still ovulating because my cycles are still the same length that they've always been (~26 days, give or take a couple of days). He offered to let me come in to have my progesterone tested on cycle day 20, but that's this Thursday and I'm not sure that I can get away from work. I'm not really sure if I should be worried about that yet or not.

I'm so excited to get started, but also nervous. I have so much going on at work right now, including a huge project that will mostly be over at the end of April 2014, but will go on a bit through July 2014 (but it probably won't be essential that I be there past the beginning of May). I'm hoping that I don't get too sick and that I can keep up with everything.

I'm still here, and still planning to TTC in November. You just reminded me that I need to start on prenatals....yikes. That makes it all very real. I was concerned about side effects the first time around. I have a hard time with multivitamins, particularly the iron in them. I ended up taking the gummy prenatals. They don't have iron but are fine otherwise. It's really the folic acid that you want, so you can always just get folic acid supplements if you don't want to take the whole prenatal.

As far as ovulation goes, I'm sure you are still ovulating. If your cycle, however light it may be, is still happening every x many days, you are probably ovulating. You can always get some OPKs to see if you surge (even though it doesn't guarantee you ovulate just because you surge). You could also temp for a month which would show whether or not you are ovulating for sure. Or, just wait until you TTC for real and if you don't get pregnant in the first 6 months or so you can dig a little deeper. When I TTC'd last time I charted for 6 months or so pre-TTC. I wanted to make sure that I was ovulating and be able to pinpoint when I did so. This round I really don't think I'm going to do anything. Once you chart for a while you pretty much know what is going on and don't really need to keep it up (assuming regular cycles).

 

[lliang_chi]

Hey ladies, I'm still around, still waiting.

Shitzu, a lot of us were temping/charting during our pre-TTC/TTC time. It should help you confirm whether or not you're ovulating. Also it's kinda neat in a nerdy-data-freak kind of way. Also there's some medications that would be safe for you to take while pregnant, but best to talk to your OB about it.

AMC, yes, I doubt I'll be taking the same efforts this go round as next.

AFU, on my way out of town, but I am getting my Mirena removed in 2 wks. Told DH about it and now it'll be up to him to figure out if he wants to try or if he wants to be in the driver seat re: birth control. Dude, why are men so lapse about stuff like that? Maybe it's just some men, like my husband...

 

[amc80]

Told DH about it and now it'll be up to him to figure out if he wants to try or if he wants to be in the driver seat re: birth control. Dude, why are men so lapse about stuff like that? Maybe it's just some men, like my husband...

Yeah, who knows. I've suggested to DH that he get the snip when we are done with kids, but he refuses....says there is no way anything sharp is going anywhere near that area

AFM, I bought prenatals on Saturday and started taking them. It makes it so very real. It's really interesting, two years ago I was SO excited to start TTC. Now, I think "ah man, I have to start TTC soon." Ha. I guess that's the difference between #1 and #2.

 

[lliang_chi]

Yikes, haven't put any thought into taking prenatals. Thanks for the reminder.

When I told DH that I'm getting my Mirena removed, he was like, "So... do you want to start trying then?" I told him I don't care about trying right now, but I wanted to give my body some time to recover from the hormones before we do. And reiterated, just because I take out the IUD doesn't mean that I'll get pregnant right away.

I know DH doesn't want to get pregnant anytime soon, but knowing him, his "birth control" method would just be pull n' pray. I mean, if he was really serious about not getting pregnant he'd go to the store and pick up some condoms, right? Well, I'm ready to have another baby, and if he's willing to tempt fate, then that's his decision.

 

[StacylikesSparkles]

Yikes, haven't put any thought into taking prenatals. Thanks for the reminder.

When I told DH that I'm getting my Mirena removed, he was like, "So... do you want to start trying then?" I told him I don't care about trying right now, but I wanted to give my body some time to recover from the hormones before we do. And reiterated, just because I take out the IUD doesn't mean that I'll get pregnant right away.

I know DH doesn't want to get pregnant anytime soon, but knowing him, his "birth control" method would just be pull n' pray. I mean, if he was really serious about not getting pregnant he'd go to the store and pick up some condoms, right? Well, I'm ready to have another baby, and if he's willing to tempt fate, then that's his decision.

When we were using bc during my ovulation time, we opted for VCF (vaginal contraceptive film) because it allowed us to have sex without a condom (which we both dislike) and still be like 97% safe. We used this for 5 months while tracking and the one time we didn't, I ended up getting pregnant. This makes me say they were super reliable and it didn't make sex feel any different. For those...they are found in the condom aisle and are in a white box, if that helps.

 

[monkeyprincess]

LC, that's an exciting development! If he's not gung-ho about taking charge of contraception, he must not be too opposed to the idea of a pregnancy. Really hoping I end up pregnant at the same time as some of you ladies who were TTC at the same time the last go around!

 

[lliang_chi]

MP it'd be so much fun to be preggo buddies with you

FPS, thanks for the tip. But I think I'm going to make this a little social experiment, so I'm putting the onus *entirely* on DH and see where he goes with this. If he actually is serious about not having a baby until we're ready to move then he'd get serious and get some kind of birth control. Or maybe he'll go all old school Catholic style (even though he's not Catholic), yeah right.

 

[gem_anemone]

MP it'd be so much fun to be preggo buddies with you

FPS, thanks for the tip. But I think I'm going to make this a little social experiment, so I'm putting the onus *entirely* on DH and see where he goes with this. If he actually is serious about not having a baby until we're ready to move then he'd get serious and get some kind of birth control. Or maybe he'll go all old school Catholic style (even though he's not Catholic), yeah right.

The bolded is completely hilarious, but also completely true. It always seems to be left up to the woman to be responsible for the birth control and many men don't put in any effort, yet are willing to participate in the activity. Still somehow the woman is generally blamed for an unwanted pregnancy (it takes two to tango! ). Well... from my "observations", putting in no effort on birth control usually results in eventual pregnancy. Good luck!

 

[jfo]

Hi ladies! Based on the fact that I'm browsing baby name sites again, I would say that I probably fall in this category! My daughter will be 10 months old in a week... and I'm 35, but I'm still thinking that I might wait until next year before we start trying again. I'd ideally like to be pregnant by the time DD is 2, which will be in late October next year. I also want to feel like I'm both physically and emotionally ready to go through what it takes. Plus, right now, we're about to close and move into a new house, which will be a big adjustment!

All that said, I have not gone back on birth control since having DD, so I suppose all this could happen a whole lot sooner than I expect... or not! Last time, it took 3 years to get pregnant.

 

[lliang_chi]

Welcome jfo! Are you guys not using any birth control, or is it you're just not any HBC? I feel like I started warming up to the idea of a baby right around the same time as well. Hoping it won't take as long for you this 2nd go-round. Congrats on the new house! Good on you for getting that out of the way So for now, you spend money on your house, then when you recover from that, you'll be ready to have your 2nd.

AFU, so Mirena got taken out yesterday. It was pretty much as uncomfortable as a pap, so not a big deal. The midwife said you're considered returned to fertility immediately, but I dunno I'm pretty sure I have my doubts. But she suggested I take prenatals anyway, so I might start on some folic acid gummies. TMI, but DH and I have been having zero sex, so the chance of conception is totally nil, and I'm not worried. At all.

 

[jfo]

Hi LC, thanks! Well, I never went back on the pill after DD was born and as far as DH and I having sex... well, it's been few and far between, so our chances of conceiving right now would be pretty low anyway! Thanks--yes, buying a house is a huge step (and a huge expense), so once we feel like we're managing that pretty well, I imagine we'll definitely be ready for #2.

How about you? Is there something that you're waiting for in particular? Sorry--I should probably go back and read some previous posts!

 

[lliang_chi]

Hi Jfo, the only thing I'm waiting on is my DH, LOL. He's waiting on moving to a bigger place (read: house). At first I thought we might have to work on selling our condo (and taking a slight loss), but now I think the plan will be to rent it out and buy a house. Regardless, I'm still waiting on DH to finally situate his brain to the whole moving out of our condo process. I've tried prodding him but we're at an standstill. He ordered books off of amazon, but here they sit, right next to me. STILL in the amazon packaging. Yes. He's so ready... NOT!

 

[monkeyprincess]

LC, I'm not wanting but waiting because DH is just as anxious as I am to add another baby to our family, but I can TOTALLY relate to the part about your DH not taking action on the house thing. We have been talking for a couple of years about moving into a new house because although our house is nice, it is way too small. I moved in to DH's house when we got married, and there was barely enough room for me and my things, and now with a little one, I just feel like we have zero space. I know that it will be even crazier if we bring another baby here. The part that really annoys me is that he will periodically see listings and act like he is all interested, and I get all excited, and then nothing. I seriously think he has a weird attachment to our current house!

 

[pancake]

Operation TTC starts mid-September!

 

[lliang_chi]

Pancake, how exciting! I just finished up my first AF after Mirena (only 3 days). I was also rocking a truly impressive case of Hand Foot Mouth. Ugh!!! DH has a few triathlons in the next few weeks (first one's tomorrow), and I've been in self imposed quarantine, but as soon as I'm back to 100% I'm going to be trying. Whether DH is or isn't is entirely up to him. LOL.

MP, OMG I totally know what you mean about fits and starts with your husband's interest. DH is totally that way to. We'll go over to someone's house and he's all like "This and that, and blah blah blah." But when it comes down to it he's not pulling the trigger. And my hubby doesn't even have a sentimental attachment like yours does. J moved into my condo when we got engaged, so it's really just him putting his head in the sand.

 

[jfo]

Hi Jfo, the only thing I'm waiting on is my DH, LOL. He's waiting on moving to a bigger place (read: house). At first I thought we might have to work on selling our condo (and taking a slight loss), but now I think the plan will be to rent it out and buy a house. Regardless, I'm still waiting on DH to finally situate his brain to the whole moving out of our condo process. I've tried prodding him but we're at an standstill. He ordered books off of amazon, but here they sit, right next to me. STILL in the amazon packaging. Yes. He's so ready... NOT!

Ahhh, typical! My DH is the same way about most everything. He's always waiting for XYZ to happen before ABC can happen. Like the fact that it was probably the best time to buy a place a year ago and we knew it. But for me to press on him to do something about it then--oh no, let's wait until after the baby is born. A good friend told us, you know, it's a lot easier to move BEFORE the baby is born than after! Now, DH fully admits that we waited to long and it was his fault and he's kicking himself...

Well, I hope that your husband can get his brain wrapped around either having another baby or moving into a bigger place/buying a house sooner rather than later! If there's one thing that I've learned about *most* men is that they have to come to the realization themselves on things or else it won't happen. Or help them think it's their idea

 

[amc80]

Well, CD2 for me today. It's funny, on August 10 I had some crazy O pain and thought it was a bit early (since that was CD13)...Sure enough, it ended up being a 27 day cycle. Average for me is 29 days and normal is 29-31, so this was definitely short. What's weird is after this I will only have 2 more AFs before we start TTC. That just seems crazy. What sucks, though, is this shorter cycle sort of threw things off. Now I will get AF on the second to last day of our cruise in November if I don't get pregnant. I was going to be good and leave tests at home and not think about it. But now I will know if I don't get AF on a certain day that I'm probably pregnant...and if she doesn't come, I will want to know right away. Of course I don't always feel ovulation as clearly as I did this month, so I might not even know when I O. Not sure if that will make me more or less crazy to test.

 

[lliang_chi]

Ahhh, typical! My DH is the same way about most everything. He's always waiting for XYZ to happen before ABC can happen.

If there's one thing that I've learned about *most* men is that they have to come to the realization themselves on things or else it won't happen. Or help them think it's their idea

JFO, Yes, I've accepted that about these characteristics about my DH too. It's so... slow and linear. I don't understand how men could have run so much stuff before women came along because it seems like they can only handle one thing at a time. I mean, life doesn't function as AND gates (X happens then Y then Z). It's like X, a, 123 are all happening at once aaaand GO! Seriously.

AMC, for your cruise, maybe have your DH pack the tests. So you're not obsessing about it, but if/when you're late, you can test and find out. But you're still two cycles out, maybe you'll be two days late on one of your subsequent cycles and you'll be a-OK again.

AFM, not much going on here. DH and I have both been in not 100% state health-wise, but we'll be going on vacation starting tomorrow, so hopefully we'll be able to enjoy ourselves. We are spending half our vacation apart (he's doing a dudes trip, I'm doing a girls' wine tasting trip), so it's not exactly like we're vacationing TOGETHER. But we're both looking forward to getting away for a little while.

 

[pancake]

I've started taking folic acid. But I'm not sure how things will go as I haven't weaned S yet. I'm in the process of stopping the pre-nap feed entirely, until now she's had nothing at that time when I'm at work (so she misses it 3 days a week) and is fine on those days. Tuesday was the first time I've been with her and not given her that feed (and touch wood, it went well!) so hopefully that will continue.

I'm pretty conflicted about weaning, so my feeling at the moment is to cut out that daytime feed, but keep the morning and bedtime feeds until the Mirena comes out, and see what happens with my cycles by Christmas. If nothing's happening by then then I guess I'll have to think about weaning altogether. S will be 2 in February, so that seems like a good goal for total weaning if I'm dragging my heels for a while over the next few months.

 

[jfo]

LC, I hope you are feeling better now! Did you get HFM from your LO? I had it last year when I was pregnant and it was pretty miserable. Hope you are enjoying your vacation!

Pancake, how exciting! Mid-September is practically here! As for weaning S, it sounds like gradually cutting out the daytime feeds over the next couple of weeks with a goal of being completely weaned by February is a good plan. I know how difficult it can be emotionally, so having a plan hopefully will help! And of course it helps if S is doing well with it too.

amc, that's great that you've tracking and are well in tune with your cycles already. I like LC's suggestion of having your DH pack the tests and you don't have think too much about it. So you are thinking of TTC starting in October? Best wishes!

 

[amc80]

amc, that's great that you've tracking and are well in tune with your cycles already. I like LC's suggestion of having your DH pack the tests and you don't have think too much about it. So you are thinking of TTC starting in October? Best wishes!

November! Don't make me start early

AMC, for your cruise, maybe have your DH pack the tests. So you're not obsessing about it, but if/when you're late, you can test and find out. But you're still two cycles out, maybe you'll be two days late on one of your subsequent cycles and you'll be a-OK again.

I'm hoping I have a cycle that is a day or two longer than average, that would put me back on track. Although last time I got my BFP at 9DPO, so I'm sure I could test early if I wanted to. I think it will just depend on how everything is going on the cruise. If B is keeping me busy and I'm not able to do adult stuff anyway than I might as well find out. But if my mom watches him a lot and I can get a drink or two, then I don't want to test until I'm late.

 

[TooPatient]

Had a talk with FI again the other day. He had to agree that I have a point about not waiting until I've finished all of my schooling AND have gotten settled in a career. He's older than I am so we really can't do that!

Looking at waiting to TTC until the last year of my bachelor's program so that I can take a bit of time off and then go into the master's program or just do the master's program with a baby at home. My program will be (relatively) low stress so that should be manageable.

FI was just worried that I'd be stuck at home right after the program and miss out on all of the hiring connections that are a great benefit to the university. Ideally, I'll do the bachelor's in person at the major university in our area (doing two degrees actually) and then take a slightly slower route with the masters and do it online (also through a major university but exclusively online) so I can be home with a baby.

FI is of the sort to wait for everything to line up just exactly right. That is why it took SO long to get engaged and then a super long engagement! We talked and agreed that there is NEVER a time when things line up just exactly right and having a baby isn't just something you decide to do and it appears in your arms. There is some unknown time between wanting to start TTC and actually getting pregnant. Not to mention the actual pregnancy length.

 

[lliang_chi]

Pancake, mid-Sept will come quickly! Heck, we're almost there As for weaning, S might choose to wean herself between now an then. Plus I've heard that pregnancy changes breastmilk so that might also encourage S to stop. Either way I'm confident you guys will get there.

AMC, well, for your sake I hope you get to enjoy some grown up time and enjoy your vacation. Hoping things work out timing-wise for your cycle. You'll have to put B in one of those adorable sailor/captain/yachting club outfits for the cruise.

TooPatient, So is your FI on board with the whole your plan. It's funny that sometimes men don't understand that having a child is a whole process that happens very slowly.

Jfo, feeling a ton better thanks for asking. Yes, I'm pretty sure I got HFM from E or at least E's daycare.

AFM, not much is new. Really enjoyed my vacation but didn't have much baby making practice. I started keepign track of my cycles (just period length, no CM or CP or temp checks). I haven't had a cycle in over 2 yrs, so it'll be a bit of work to start trackign this again.

 

[megumic]

JUst checking in...still following along but not posting much these days. Still WBW hardcore. It's funny, I'm ready to be preg, but not ready for the baby. But I suppose that's what the whole 9-10 month wait is for! Also financially and careerwise more time would be helpful, but I refuse to put my family and personal life on hold for my professional life. It will be there for the rest of forever and it's a personal struggle I have almost every day.

I'd really like these kiddos to be 2-2.5 years a part, which leaves a small window to conceive. Since you can't predict conception, I feel like erring on the earlier side rather than the later side, KWIM? We're thinking of green-lighting in Nov/Dec. I'd like to drink through the holidays and if I'm preg and not drinking then everyone will know. So, I dunno.

I've been meeting with new drs and midwifes for preconception consultations. I really trusted my other doc and think he is fantastic, however, I have significant birth trauma and PTSD from my experience that is directly connected to him so I'm not sure I can go back. I am planning to meet with another dr in the practice to discuss, but I'd be nervous I'd get the same dr when I deliver and I just dont know if I am prepared for that. I've met a few other careproviders that I like, but none have all the stars aligned like my current practice in terms of hospital, flexibility, etc. Just trying to pre-prepare so I am mentally and emotionally stable by the time I do get preg!

 

[amc80]

JUst checking in...still following along but not posting much these days. Still WBW hardcore. It's funny, I'm ready to be preg, but not ready for the baby. But I suppose that's what the whole 9-10 month wait is for! Also financially and careerwise more time would be helpful, but I refuse to put my family and personal life on hold for my professional life. It will be there for the rest of forever and it's a personal struggle I have almost every day.

I'd really like these kiddos to be 2-2.5 years a part, which leaves a small window to conceive. Since you can't predict conception, I feel like erring on the earlier side rather than the later side, KWIM? We're thinking of green-lighting in Nov/Dec. I'd like to drink through the holidays and if I'm preg and not drinking then everyone will know. So, I dunno.

I've been meeting with new drs and midwifes for preconception consultations. I really trusted my other doc and think he is fantastic, however, I have significant birth trauma and PTSD from my experience that is directly connected to him so I'm not sure I can go back. I am planning to meet with another dr in the practice to discuss, but I'd be nervous I'd get the same dr when I deliver and I just dont know if I am prepared for that. I've met a few other careproviders that I like, but none have all the stars aligned like my current practice in terms of hospital, flexibility, etc. Just trying to pre-prepare so I am mentally and emotionally stable by the time I do get preg!

Looks like we will be preggo buddies again. I also feel the same way about the birth. I don't think I can go so far as to say I have PTSD, but pretty darn close. I did look at switching practices but, when it comes down to it, my practice is the highest rated in town. They are a large practice which means there are a lot of resources right there, which is nice. I have my annual next month and am going to have a chat with my doctor. Mainly, I want a c-section. I refuse to go through labor and delivery again. Just thinking about it completely stresses me out. Everyone I've talked to said the second kid will be easier....but that's not a chance I want to take. Not to mention that second kids are usually bigger. Yeah, I'm good.

 

[ladypirate]

I'm dipping my toe back into the PS waters after a long absence...we're planning to start trying in May for a LO. Until then, I will just keep pinning nursery ideas and taking advantage of my freedom.

 

[lliang_chi]

Welcome LP. Nursery ideas are so adorable. Gotta admit it doesn't really help the baby fever.

 

[distracts]

We are planning to start trying next year. It sounds terrifying. I mean, I want kids. Badly. I want to start having them before I'm thirty. But I won't be settled in my career, who the heck knows how having kids will affect that, the little buggers are terribly expensive, etc. I want a financial plan in place, I want a career plan in place (impossible, since my jobs are contracted for six months to a year, and I have no idea what the situation will be like in a year and a half to two years - I may have to quit when I have a baby because there's no maternity leave, and then find a new job when I want to start working again - so I'm hoping I can get some part time contract work that I can have through the end of the pregnancy and first half year of baby), etc. So much anxiety. I want to just be a SAHM because then I have a pretty clear-cut plan but I don't think I would be fulfilled doing that for more than a year!

 

[lliang_chi]

Distracts, there's so much swirl going on in your head when you decide to take the plunge to TTC. So don't feel like you're alone in the anxiety. TBH there's never a perfect time, perfect solution, perfect anything. The fact that you have contract work can actually work to your advantage, such that you can take a leave and jump back in when you feel ready. Or not if you decide to full-time parent. Or even pick up a PT contract. And it won't look out of place on your resume that you're doing contract work.