Wedding gifts for each other!

[CNOS128]

Okay, so, along the lines of the thread in LIW about engagement gifts for Him (I didn''t read the drama, don''t know what it''s about, but the theme of the thread is what struck me as interesting) --

I keep seeing BIWs post about exchanging wedding gifts with their husbands-to-be. This isn''t something that would have occurred to me (or my fiance) before reading about it here. I''m kind of inclined not to give him a gift, because, frankly he doesn''t like gifts, and it''s really hard for him to pick out gifts for me. (Seriously, even when we were dating after about 6 months he''d just take me with him to Tiffany''s and we''d pick something out together - not that I''m complaining!!)
[Plus, I''ve already gotten him a fancy iPod; he''s got a watch that''s worth more than I have in my checking account; we have 2 very nice TVs... the man basically wants for nothing! And I didn''t get him an engagement gift...]

Obviously, it''s a personal decision whether or not to exchange gifts, but I''m jut trying to sort things out... On one hand I feel like it''s really forced and unromantic for me to say, "Hey, Joe, guess what? Couples give each other wedding gifts!" and then expect him to try to find something when I know gift shopping is his least favorite activity in the world. On the other hand, I think it''s a nice sentiment, and I could tell future generations about the gift that Joe gave me on our wedding day...

I''m not really asking a question, I guess but -- any thoughts? opinions? suggestions? Did you get your husband a wedding gift? Will you? Is he going to get you one? Did you request something in particular, or are you expecting a surprise?

 

[galvana]

I heard about the wedding gift thing several years ago when my best friend got married. and now from on here, i love the idea and TO ME
the gift i give him on our wedding will be very very special and important. Probably one of the biggest gifts i ever give me, as marrying me is pretty big!
We''ll probabaly exchange them at the end of the rehersal dinner before we part ways for the night.

It is different for every couple, some dont do it at all, some do a small gift, others go all out i.e. (groom buys fiance a diamond tennis bracelet or pearl earrings, and the female buys here groom a rolex or other expensive watch)
it can be whatever you both want, whatever you are most comfortable with.
I am getting my fiance a breitling watch, im not sure what he''ll get me but i did give him some ideas

It is really up to you and your fiance.

 

[Pandora II]

DH and I did wedding gifts. In the UK I think it''s fairly usual.

I gave him a pair of victorian 15ct gold cufflinks, a heavy victorian 15ct rose gold watch chain (and an antique silver hip-flask which I had had engraved with the monogram I had designed for our wedding stationery.

He gave me a pair of 2ctw sphene earrings set in 18k yg and a matching 4ct sphene pendant - Richard Homer found the stones for me at Tucson last spring and then Wink Jones set them for me.

We exchanged gifts the day before the wedding and both wore them on the day. DH''s father had given him a gold pocket watch as a 21st birthday present and was really touched that he wore it on his wedding day - I had to steal it a few weeks before as he''d never have thought to bring it with him as you need a chain to wear them.

His gifts were all a suprise, I did all the legwork on mine, but DH paid and got to give them to me (it''s what we did with my e-ring too - DH doesn''t dare buy me jewellery, instead I get a budget as my gift

)

 

[mayachel]

If you don''t want to do gifts, I don''t see why you should. If you WOULD like to exchange something, maybe it could be as simple as letters you agree to send to one another before the ceremony.

Sentimental, can''t buy in a store gifts are my favorite.

My BFF works in publishing and made a bound book of all the notes and letters they exchanged during their courtship. In their case this was a crazy long time, with a chunk being long distance...

But even if you don''t have a lot of letters, you could do a scrap book with ticket stubs or other mementos.

 

[lala2332]

I love the idea of wedding gifts. I will probably do a really nice watch. I will probably hint at him getting me a strand of pearls.... Maybe black ones, since I have lots of white stands.

 

[CNOS128]

Thanks for your input, iluvprincesscuts!

Pandora, I hadn''t heard of sphene - I just googled it - so unique! All your gifts sound very nice and meaningful.

Mayachel, that''s an interesting idea, thanks!

lala2332, are you going to go shopping with him for the watch & pearls, or will they both be ''surprises''? I''m starting to get annoyed at Joe for having bought himself such a nice watch!

It''s the ideal wedding gift.

 

[musey]

Date: 12/18/2008 12:21:46 PM
Author:TheBigT
I'm kind of inclined not to give him a gift, because, frankly he doesn't like gifts, and it's really hard for him to pick out gifts for me. (Seriously, even when we were dating after about 6 months he'd just take me with him to Tiffany's and we'd pick something out together - not that I'm complaining!!)

...

I'm not really asking a question, I guess but -- any thoughts? opinions? suggestions? Did you get your husband a wedding gift? Will you? Is he going to get you one? Did you request something in particular, or are you expecting a surprise?

We got each other gifts. Neither of us were comfortable entirely picking out one another's gifts, so we ended up choosing them together.

I wanted a particular locket to wear on our wedding day, but I was ambivalent about the shape (round vs. oval). I showed it to him, and he said he'd like to buy it for me as a wedding gift. I said okay, you choose the shape. Haha.

Then I talked with him a bit about the genre of gift he'd like--something fun (would've been a Wii and some games likely) or something lasting (cufflinks, tie tack, watch). He chose lasting, then we talked about the options, and he decided he wanted a set of cufflinks. So I shopped around a LOT then showed him my favorites. He narrowed it down to a few, and I made the final decision. He loves them, got to wear them on our wedding day and he'll wear them every time he wears his fancy new suit (another wedding/engagement gift from me

).


So it was all a joint venture...

I love having that wedding gift from him. I wear it all the time, and even though I'm not generally a sentimental person (I TRY to be), that locket more than anything else brings back so many warm feelings of our wedding day. There are some really beautiful pictures of him putting it on after giving it to me, before our ceremony.

 

[lala2332]

Date: 12/18/2008 2:12:39 PM
Author: TheBigT
Thanks for your input, iluvprincesscuts!

Pandora, I hadn''t heard of sphene - I just googled it - so unique! All your gifts sound very nice and meaningful.

Mayachel, that''s an interesting idea, thanks!

lala2332, are you going to go shopping with him for the watch & pearls, or will they both be ''surprises''? I''m starting to get annoyed at Joe for having bought himself such a nice watch!

It''s the ideal wedding gift.

I think I''ll go get him the watch and then HINT HINT to my mom and his mom that I want the pearls. We have the jewelry mart in atlanta, and my mom can get passes, so he would probably go with her anyway.

Bf is not the best gift-giver and I''m super picky, so I don''t mind not being "surprised."

You could still do a watch, if his more dress watch, like an oyster face rolex, you could a more sporty Tag or Breitling, or vice-versa. Watched are one of the few "jewelry" options that I think most men have, so they can have more than one.
as far as other gift ideas, maybe something that can become an heirloom, more than say a tv or golf clubs, that he''ll want new after a couple of years.

 

[dreaming of the day]

I didn''t want to do wedding gifts - I think we are spending enough money on the wedding itself, and we are getting so many gifts from all of our guests, that the last thing we need to do is spend more money on eachother. Shouldn''t our wedding bands be our gift to eachother??? Well my FI thinks its a sweet thing to exchange wedding gifts - so we decided (since we really really want one ) that we are buying eachother a puppy as a wedding gift! Which I think is perfect!

 

[CNOS128]

Musey I remember seeing pictures of your locket (from "Lost", right?).

That sounds like a good compromise between completely choosing your own gift and having the other person surprise you. If we decide to get gifts, I hope it''ll go something like that. Cuff links aren''t a bad idea as he only has one or two (ugly!) pairs - I wonder if I could get him some new shirts w/ french cuffs, also... hmm.

lala, that''s not a bad idea. I''d want something he''d keep for a long time.

dreaming of the day, he knows that the best present he could get me ANY time would be a puppy, but unfortunately it''s not really feasible right now. But, I''m "dreaming of the day" when I can get one!

You''re so lucky!!
And, yeah, I feel like so much money goes into the wedding process that it''s hard to justify getting another gift. Maybe we''ll make a charitable donation somewhere that''ll alleviate my guilt over spending thousands of dollars on myself...

 

[anniee19]

I''ve actually been thinking about this topic lately. I am considering doing boudior photos, having them made into a nice album and giving them to him the night before the wedding. FI is pretty adament about not seeing me on the day of the wedding until I am walking down the aisle, and I would want them to be for his eyes only...I wouldn''t want anybody else seeing him open it up right before the wedding! There are a few photographers in my area that do this is a very tasteful, classy way and I think it would be sort of fun!

 

[elrohwen]

FI and I spending a ton of our own money on the wedding and honeymoon, so we won''t be getting each other gifts. I think our rings are our gift to each other. And the wedding in general is a gift to each other because we both want it, but neither of us really wants to spend the money ... We''re both making sacrifices to be able to afford it so it seems like every dollar we save is a gift to each other to be able to have a wedding where we can invite all of our friends and family.

 

[musey]

Date: 12/18/2008 3:18:59 PM
Author: TheBigT
Musey I remember seeing pictures of your locket (from ''Lost'', right?).

That sounds like a good compromise between completely choosing your own gift and having the other person surprise you. If we decide to get gifts, I hope it''ll go something like that. Cuff links aren''t a bad idea as he only has one or two (ugly!) pairs - I wonder if I could get him some new shirts w/ french cuffs, also... hmm.

Yep, that''s the one

the show has been a bonding point for us, as we''ve watched it together from the beginning and spent quite a lot of time discussing it and the science (fiction) behind it. We really enjoy watching TV together in general (it''s not just a passive couch potato experience for us, we pause to discuss and go off on tangents, a lot of quality time

). So even though it''s TOTALLY cheesey, it was a nice little nod to that aspect of our relationship.

All our wedding gifts were logical things that were "needed" for the wedding anyway (suit, cufflinks, necklace), we just chose to make them gifts to each other instead of part of the general wedding umbrella. That worked well for us.

 

[marchswallowbird]

We''re not doing wedding gifts. We''re paying for all of our own wedding, and he isn''t much into material stuff anyway. We decided that our gift to each other would be two nights at the incredibly expensive hotel where we''re having our reception ($509 per nite).

 

[CNOS128]

anniee that sounds like a really good personal gift! You fiance is a lucky guy! I''m far too self-conscious to do boudoir pics (I think I would wind up just looking uncomfortable).

elrohwen, I definitely understand that way of thinking. It really is a nice gift to be able to see all your friends and family! [P.S. everytime I see your name it reminds me of this natural foods store in LA called "erewhon"]

musey I don''t think that''s so cheesy, it''s sweet! And your other gifts are practical (but can last a long time past the wedding, too).

marchswallowbird, it sounds like you will have a lovely wedding and a great stay at the hotel!

 

[katamari]

We decided that the bands would be the most sentimental and important tangible gifts we could exchange, so that is what we are doing.