What details are important to you (or not) for your future wedding?

[miraclesrule]

Pirate,

I have been losing sleep over our decision not to have a photobooth. My DD photographer is the best in San Diego, and their photobooth shoots are TDF...pure art. But the cost was overwhelming with the basic package. I am still considering a call to them tomorrow to see if it isn't too late, but then again, the earrings keep beckoning me and I then I wonder if I should even bother.

I think they are awesome....I am going to see if I can find you the most recent ones I just saw.

Page 9 of this blog shows some awesome photobooth shots, maybe you can recreate some of them.

Photobooth shots

It will take some time to load

 

[Guilty Pleasure]

There is no way I would pay 670 dollars to have something framed... even if I was Richie Rich! Do you have a Hobby Lobby where you live?

 

[Guilty Pleasure]

The things that are important to me are that I keep a reasonable budget

, the ceremony is a spiritual and meaningful service with an officiant who knows us before the day, that the flowers are real, the venue is beautiful and the right setting, the pictures turn out well, and everyone is comfortable and happy. I also want to serve some sort of alcohol, and I care a lot about invitations for some weird reason. I don''t want my guests to feel like cattle... okay go here, then go here, eat this, watch that, stay an appropriate amount of time... yawn.

I do not care as much about having amazing food (as long as it is yummy and people enjoy eating it), I don''t care about a videographer, I don''t care about having the best cake (again, as long as it is "good" and not "bad", that''s fine with me. I guess wit hthat stuff, there''s a threshold of quality that must be reached, and everything above that is just icing on the cake, so to speak!

I don''t care if guests walk away thinking the food was the best they ever had; I just want them to walk away thinking what a beautiful day, and that bride has lovely taste.

I used to think that I only cared that I got married in a church, which is funny because now I don''t think I will, and I am MUCH more religous than I used to be. I even teach Sunday School. I think it''s because now I associate my faith with the people around me instead of the stained glass windows and church pews since I don''t have a "hometown" church that I grew up in. I do love church weddings, though.

 

[FrekeChild]

Important to me: having white tulips, colors, making my own cake, SIZE-I want around 30 people, but I''m willing to go up to 50-TOPS, NO RELIGIOUS STUFF, SHORT ceremony two attendants each-TOPS. BUT all of this will be moot if my mom doesn''t make it-because then we''re going to Vegas, and I don''t give a *bleep* about any of it.

Important to him: food, cake flavors, music and venue.

Not important to me: My bouquet, any other flowers besides white tulips, alcohol, dancing-I don''t want it, I''m sure there is more, but I apparently can''t think of them.

Not important to him: Everything besides food, cake flavors, music and venue.

 

[Guilty Pleasure]

Freke, am I going nuts or did your shoe change colors?

 

[FrekeChild]

Yes, yes it did. Consider it to be like a color change sapphire. The shoe is really blue, but I photoshopped it purple. And it just happened to coincide with my purchasing a lovely bright purple amethyst.

Perhaps I'll change colors to correspond to whatever gemstone I've bought most recently...

So, no, you're not going nuts.

 

[claireabelle]

Date: 7/24/2008 2:03:47 AM
Author: Guilty Pleasure
Freke, am I going nuts or did your shoe change colors?

haha I did a double take also! I swear it was indigo blue...

 

[WishfulThinking]

I''ll play! We''re in planning mode for the wedding in May 2009, but on a 1k [starving student] budget, we have to prioritize, so we have put thought into this!

Important: [thinks other than lovely FI!]
*Getting a real marriage license. This may or may not be possible, but we won''t know until November.
*Having beautiful flowers- not necessarily tons of flowers, but the ones we will have will be gorgeous, and the bouquets will double as centerpieces.
*CAKE! We both love cake, and think cool, unique wedding cakes are awesome.
*Good food- not formal at all, homemade picnic-style munchies, but delicious!
*Beautiful dresses, even on the tight budget
*Photography: done by my dad who is amazing!!!

*Personalized vows
*Invitations- the ones we got were so cute!

Not Important:
*Anything super traditional
*Decorations other than flowers- it''s at a beautiful park, with nature''s decorations!
*Music
*Videographer... nor would we agree to one. Ever. No.Thanks.
*Big wedding [only 15 people!]

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 7/24/2008 1:24:21 AM
Author: miraclesrule
Pirate,


I have been losing sleep over our decision not to have a photobooth. My DD photographer is the best in San Diego, and their photobooth shoots are TDF...pure art. But the cost was overwhelming with the basic package. I am still considering a call to them tomorrow to see if it isn't too late, but then again, the earrings keep beckoning me and I then I wonder if I should even bother.


I think they are awesome....I am going to see if I can find you the most recent ones I just saw.


Page 9 of this blog shows some awesome photobooth shots, maybe you can recreate some of them.


Photobooth shots


It will take some time to load

Is it bad that this alone makes me want to fly to SD to get married!?! Photos are so priceless! (and by priceless, I mean you pay an arm and a leg!

)

ETA: And why do people seem so anti-videographer? Did I miss some horror story?

 

[lala2332]

Date: 7/24/2008 3:18:39 AM
Author: trillionaire

Date: 7/24/2008 1:24:21 AM
Author: miraclesrule
Pirate,


I have been losing sleep over our decision not to have a photobooth. My DD photographer is the best in San Diego, and their photobooth shoots are TDF...pure art. But the cost was overwhelming with the basic package. I am still considering a call to them tomorrow to see if it isn''t too late, but then again, the earrings keep beckoning me and I then I wonder if I should even bother.


I think they are awesome....I am going to see if I can find you the most recent ones I just saw.


Page 9 of this blog shows some awesome photobooth shots, maybe you can recreate some of them.


Photobooth shots


It will take some time to load

Is it bad that this alone makes me want to fly to SD to get married!?! Photos are so priceless! (and by priceless, I mean you pay an arm and a leg!

)

ETA: And why do people seem so anti-videographer? Did I miss some horror story?

I love the idea of a photobooth. I would love to have one, so I understand losing sleep over it.

I loathe the idea of a video. No one likes to see themeselves in a video and who sits down and watches a video of an event more than once, if at all? My dad used to carry a video camera around all the time and I think I''ve seen maybe one event he filmed AND hated it. I would much rather have still shots and be able to look through an album and have framed photos evrywhere. I almost went to art school for photography, so I LOVE photos!

 

[goodfun7580]

Things that are important to me:

The food
The location (either the beach or the mountains) & getting married outside
Open bar
Having it be small (around 40-50 people)
Having a cake that tastes good

Things I don''t care about:

Flowers
The dress
Centerpieces
The colors
What FF wears
Invitations
Favors
Music

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 7/24/2008 3:18:39 AM
Author: trillionaire

Date: 7/24/2008 1:24:21 AM
Author: miraclesrule
Pirate,


I have been losing sleep over our decision not to have a photobooth. My DD photographer is the best in San Diego, and their photobooth shoots are TDF...pure art. But the cost was overwhelming with the basic package. I am still considering a call to them tomorrow to see if it isn''t too late, but then again, the earrings keep beckoning me and I then I wonder if I should even bother.


I think they are awesome....I am going to see if I can find you the most recent ones I just saw.


Page 9 of this blog shows some awesome photobooth shots, maybe you can recreate some of them.


Photobooth shots


It will take some time to load

Is it bad that this alone makes me want to fly to SD to get married!?! Photos are so priceless! (and by priceless, I mean you pay an arm and a leg!

)

ETA: And why do people seem so anti-videographer? Did I miss some horror story?

I just don''t like video. It''s so 1993. lol

Photos are just so classic and beautiful. You remember your wedding as a classy event, as opposed to videos of people taking full advantage of the open bar.

Just my opinion!

 

[Pushin40]

Things I care about:
The moment my SO declares he loves me more than anything and wants me to be his wife!
Acknowledging my parents memory, but not to the point where I will break down
Having a desitnation wedding (Vegas or the Carribbean)
Having close friends and some family with us
A great dinner after the ceremony
A gorgeous dress and a ring

What I don''t care about:
A chruch ceremony
Having EVEYONE I know there - keep it small
Cake (no one really cares about eating cake at a wedding)
Pictures (just need a few amateur shots, that''s fine!)

 

[Pushin40]

Trillionare - just curious - what''s the deal with a "real" marriage licence?

 

[ladypirate]

Date: 7/24/2008 10:52:00 AM
Author: Pushin40
Trillionare - just curious - what''s the deal with a ''real'' marriage licence?

I think that was WishfulThinking that posted that, actually--she and her FI are waiting to see if California keeps marriage legal for everyone this fall.

 

[ladypirate]

Date: 7/24/2008 1:24:21 AM
Author: miraclesrule
Pirate,


I have been losing sleep over our decision not to have a photobooth. My DD photographer is the best in San Diego, and their photobooth shoots are TDF...pure art. But the cost was overwhelming with the basic package. I am still considering a call to them tomorrow to see if it isn''t too late, but then again, the earrings keep beckoning me and I then I wonder if I should even bother.


I think they are awesome....I am going to see if I can find you the most recent ones I just saw.


Page 9 of this blog shows some awesome photobooth shots, maybe you can recreate some of them.


Photobooth shots


It will take some time to load

Those are really neat! I was just thinking of renting an old-school photobooth and letting people take their own pictures (something my friends and I do a lot), but those look awesome!

 

[vita*dolce]

Things I''m willing to splurge on:
Venue -- i LOVE the gardens of a museum near my house and hope to do it there
A jazz band to play frank sinatra all night long.
possibly photos.

Things I hope to do myself or have one of my wonderful friends or family help with:
the cake -- I know a little bit about cake decorating and since we''re going to eat it i just don''t think i can justify the money it would cost to have it done professionally.
the dress -- my best friend is a designer and she said she would create a gown for me of my mother''s wedding dress, which i am SOOO excited about.
the flowers -- hopefully peonies and roses, both of which grow in my mother''s amazing garden in may.
the invitations.
the centerpieces.
my hair/makeup.


don''t care what my BM''s wear. maybe cocktail dresses?
don''t care about the food or the booze. Cocktails and Hors D''Oeuvres sound perfect.

 

[absolut_blonde]

Wow, I guess more things were important to me than I'd realized!

Important:
- Relatively short, very personal ceremony - preferably outdoors
- NO religious parts in the ceremony whatsoever. And, no 'obey' in the vows.
- Food & cake. I don't know if it's just where I live, but I've attended a lot of weddings and most of the food is... sub-par. I don't mean that in a snarky way, but if I'm shelling out $$$ for a caterer, it'd better be good.
- A nice honeymoon after!
- Venue
- The dress!

Less important:
- Invitations. I want them to be cute, but not willing to break the bank on this. Most people are just going to toss them anyway (in my cynical opinion).
- Favours... if we do them at all, it'll just be something small and edible. IME with the keepsakes, people often forget them at the venue. Plus, the last thing I need is more clutter so I assume it's the same for others.
- Flowers
- Music - we'll just have a DJ
- Being all bridezilla about my bridesmaids, LOL. I don't want them to have matchy matchy hairstyles or any of that.
- Centerpieces. I want them to be nice, but I've seen a lot of lower-cost, even DIY ones that were beautiful

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 7/24/2008 12:56:12 PM
Author: absolut_blonde
Wow, I guess more things were important to me than I''d realized!

Important:
- Relatively short, very personal ceremony - preferably outdoors
- NO religious parts in the ceremony whatsoever. And, no ''obey'' in the vows.
- Food & cake. I don''t know if it''s just where I live, but I''ve attended a lot of weddings and most of the food is... sub-par. I don''t mean that in a snarky way, but if I''m shelling out $$$ for a caterer, it''d better be good.
- A nice honeymoon after!
- Venue
- The dress!

Less important:
- Invitations. I want them to be cute, but not willing to break the bank on this. Most people are just going to toss them anyway (in my cynical opinion).
- Favours... if we do them at all, it''ll just be something small and edible. IME with the keepsakes, people often forget them at the venue. Plus, the last thing I need is more clutter so I assume it''s the same for others.
- Flowers
- Music - we''ll just have a DJ
- Being all bridezilla about my bridesmaids, LOL. I don''t want them to have matchy matchy hairstyles or any of that.
- Centerpieces. I want them to be nice, but I''ve seen a lot of lower-cost, even DIY ones that were beautiful

Ditto, and ditto!

 

[ladypirate]

I guess favors actually are kind of important to me--I want to copy a friend of ours and do a donation in honor of our guests, with little cards at each place setting that say "In lieu of favors, a donation has been made in your honor to XYZ Charity".

I thought that was a really neat touch.

 

[absolut_blonde]

Date: 7/24/2008 1:11:47 PM
Author: ladypirate
I guess favors actually are kind of important to me--I want to copy a friend of ours and do a donation in honor of our guests, with little cards at each place setting that say ''In lieu of favors, a donation has been made in your honor to XYZ Charity''.

I thought that was a really neat touch.

I don''t mind that, but I prefer when people do that with a cause that is near and dear to them for a specific reason (ie, the rainforest fund if the bride and groom are the crunchy granola type, LOL). There needs to be a good ''fit'', if that makes sense. I mean, charity is always good but I just think that is more meaningful than picking a random cause that the couple''s never been tied to before. In our case, I suppose we could do that with the Heart and Stroke foundation, since SO''s father passed away from a massive stroke.

 

[ladypirate]

Date: 7/24/2008 1:21:44 PM
Author: absolut_blonde

Date: 7/24/2008 1:11:47 PM

Author: ladypirate

I guess favors actually are kind of important to me--I want to copy a friend of ours and do a donation in honor of our guests, with little cards at each place setting that say ''In lieu of favors, a donation has been made in your honor to XYZ Charity''.


I thought that was a really neat touch.

I don''t mind that, but I prefer when people do that with a cause that is near and dear to them for a specific reason (ie, the rainforest fund if the bride and groom are the crunchy granola type, LOL). There needs to be a good ''fit'', if that makes sense. I mean, charity is always good but I just think that is more meaningful than picking a random cause that the couple''s never been tied to before. In our case, I suppose we could do that with the Heart and Stroke foundation, since SO''s father passed away from a massive stroke.

ITA, actually. I would want to do it for a cause that we really care about, not just some random charity.

 

[Anna0499]

I''m not engaged yet, but here''s my list!

Things I care about:
- Church wedding with full Catholic mass & family priest - I''m probably in the minority here, but it''s never been another option in my mind. The same priest baptized all five of my brothers and sisters and me and he married my parents and my sister, so I would love it if he stuck around to marry me.
- Dress/hair/make-up - I don''t care about the cost (as long as it''s not astronomical) as long as it''s "The One" and I look smashing.
- Family & friends having a good time - This would include food/cake (sit-down dinner with AMAZING waitstaff), music, drinks, reception venue (not too crowded).
- Best photographer around - I''ve seen judge shows where the couple sues a horrible photographer and it''s so tragic because there''s nothing they can do to get their pictures. I''m still undecided about a videographer...I don''t think it''s a "must" but I think it would be sweet to have your vows on record somewhere for your grandchildren to watch on your 50th wedding anniversary.
- Flowers/decorations - I''m not too concerned with flower arrangements because most people wouldn''t notice if something was wrong, but I wouldn''t say I don''t care about them at all. I definitely want there to be enough flowers to go around (my sister''s order was missing two boutonniere!) and I want the venue to be decorated to the nines.
- Invitations - I''ve seen so many "plain" invitations (IMHO) that I''m convinced I want very nice ones to set the tone for my wedding.

Things I don''t care about:
- Favors - I agree that most people don''t care about these and will most likely throw away anything inedible.
- "Traditional" wedding reception dances - i.e. money dance, chicken dance, YMCA, etc., etc. None of those will be going on at my wedding, no sir. I am adamant about this and will add a clause specifying this in my contract with the DJ/band/whatever. The money dance is okay I guess, but in Vietnamese tradition you usually get money for wedding gifts anyway, so I would feel weird asking for more money from my family. Plus, I probably won''t need the "extra money" that the dance is usually designed to give the couple, so I would rather let my guests keep it rather than IMHO asking for more. I guess this means I DO care about it - but I don''t care FOR it haha

 

[lala2332]

Date: 7/24/2008 1:55:53 PM
Author: IndyGirl22
I''m not engaged yet, but here''s my list!

Things I care about:
- Church wedding with full Catholic mass & family priest - I''m probably in the minority here, but it''s never been another option in my mind. The same priest baptized all five of my brothers and sisters and me and he married my parents and my sister, so I would love it if he stuck around to marry me.
- Dress/hair/make-up - I don''t care about the cost (as long as it''s not astronomical) as long as it''s ''The One'' and I look smashing.
- Family & friends having a good time - This would include food/cake (sit-down dinner with AMAZING waitstaff), music, drinks, reception venue (not too crowded).
- Best photographer around - I''ve seen judge shows where the couple sues a horrible photographer and it''s so tragic because there''s nothing they can do to get their pictures. I''m still undecided about a videographer...I don''t think it''s a ''must'' but I think it would be sweet to have your vows on record somewhere for your grandchildren to watch on your 50th wedding anniversary.
- Flowers/decorations - I''m not too concerned with flower arrangements because most people wouldn''t notice if something was wrong, but I wouldn''t say I don''t care about them at all. I definitely want there to be enough flowers to go around (my sister''s order was missing two boutonniere!) and I want the venue to be decorated to the nines.
- Invitations - I''ve seen so many ''plain'' invitations (IMHO) that I''m convinced I want very nice ones to set the tone for my wedding.

Things I don''t care about:
- Favors - I agree that most people don''t care about these and will most likely throw away anything inedible.
- ''Traditional'' wedding reception dances - i.e. money dance, chicken dance, YMCA, etc., etc. None of those will be going on at my wedding, no sir. I am adamant about this and will add a clause specifying this in my contract with the DJ/band/whatever. The money dance is okay I guess, but in Vietnamese tradition you usually get money for wedding gifts anyway, so I would feel weird asking for more money from my family. Plus, I probably won''t need the ''extra money'' that the dance is usually designed to give the couple, so I would rather let my guests keep it rather than IMHO asking for more. I guess this means I DO care about it - but I don''t care FOR it haha

I completly agree on the dances.

There will be no; YMCA, electric slide, chicken dance BS at my wedding. Nor will there be groomsmen/bridesmaids have to dance dance. THat happened to me at a wedding where I was a bridesmaid. None of the us had ever met the groomsmen and they had all been pretty rude to us the night before at the rehersal dinner. Needless to say that dance did not go over well for anyone involved!
There are certain songs that FF and I don''t want played as well...we are both really picky about the music!

 

[Anna0499]

Date: 7/24/2008 3:10:30 PM
Author: lala2332
I completly agree on the dances.

There will be no; YMCA, electric slide, chicken dance BS at my wedding. Nor will there be groomsmen/bridesmaids have to dance dance. THat happened to me at a wedding where I was a bridesmaid. None of the us had ever met the groomsmen and they had all been pretty rude to us the night before at the rehersal dinner. Needless to say that dance did not go over well for anyone involved!
There are certain songs that FF and I don't want played as well...we are both really picky about the music!

Definitely - I just don't get into those types of dances...for couples that do, more power to them, but not for me. I don't believe in "forcing" people to dance, either. I hate being "called out" to the dance floor for any wedding I'm at and I definitely won't be putting my guests through that. If people want to dance, then by all means, but I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable by pointing them out specifically and having everyone stare at them. Music is very important IMHO...just because no one will remember if it's good but EVERYONE will remember if it's bad!

ETA: This post made me "Ideal" YAY!

 

[Iowa Lizzy]

style="WIDTH: 98.72%; HEIGHT: 251px">Date: 7/24/2008 3:18:59 PM
Author: IndyGirl22

Date: 7/24/2008 3:10:30 PM
Author: lala2332
I completly agree on the dances.

There will be no; YMCA, electric slide, chicken dance BS at my wedding. Nor will there be groomsmen/bridesmaids have to dance dance. THat happened to me at a wedding where I was a bridesmaid. None of the us had ever met the groomsmen and they had all been pretty rude to us the night before at the rehersal dinner. Needless to say that dance did not go over well for anyone involved!
There are certain songs that FF and I don't want played as well...we are both really picky about the music!

Definitely - I just don't get into those types of dances...for couples that do, more power to them, but not for me. I don't believe in 'forcing' people to dance, either. I hate being 'called out' to the dance floor for any wedding I'm at and I definitely won't be putting my guests through that. If people want to dance, then by all means, but I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable by pointing them out specifically and having everyone stare at them. Music is very important IMHO...just because no one will remember if it's good but EVERYONE will remember if it's bad!

ETA: This post made me 'Ideal' YAY!

I agree with the banishing of the chicken dance, etc. I'm in the midwest and a lot of times they have the "dollar dance" at the reception. This is where anyone that wants to dance with the bride can pay money ($1, $5, $10, $20). Now they do the same thing, only they have women pay to dance with the groom and make a competition out of it (try to see who earns more money). I think it's originally a Polish tradition to get the couple some money to start their lives with.

I kind of cringe at the idea of that. Hell, if someone wants to dance with me at my wedding, I'll do it for free! I've decided that if I go ahead with the "dollar dance" idea, as so many people are into it, I'd make it known than all money given to the bride or groom will be donated to the local humane society. I think you might actually get people to shell out more if they know it's for charity. Just a little idea I've been throwing around.

 

[Anna0499]

Date: 7/24/2008 3:31:39 PM
Author: Iowa Lizzy

I agree with the banishing of the chicken dance, etc. I''m in the midwest and a lot of times they have the ''dollar dance'' at the reception. This is where anyone that wants to dance with the bride can pay money ($1, $5, $10, $20). Now they do the same thing, only they have women pay to dance with the groom and make a competition out of it (try to see who earns more money). I think it''s originally a Polish tradition to get the couple some money to start their lives with.

I kind of cringe at the idea of that. Hell, if someone wants to dance with me at my wedding, I''ll do it for free! I''ve decided that if I go ahead with the ''dollar dance'' idea, as so many people are into it, I''d make it known than all money given to the bride or groom will be donated to the local humane society. I think you might actually get people to shell out more if they know it''s for charity. Just a little idea I''ve been throwing around.

I think that''s a lovely idea! I might do the whole donation-in-lieu-of-favors route, though I''m undecided. I think so many favors are simply thrown out - I know the ones I''ve gotten usually are...I mean, my pictures are the memories, I don''t need a pen to remember my friend''s wedding! Haha I agree that I would feel weird if people were pulling out their wallets to dance with me, but I definitely don''t see anything wrong if OTHER people want to do it and I understand the whole helping the young couple bit for weddings where gifts aren''t usually cash. Also, judging from some of the gifts I''ve seen people give (don''t flame me but they were way less than adequate), it might help defer part of the wedding costs if the couple had to pay for it.

Anyways, just so I stay a little bit on topic, my sister''s wedding here in Indiana cost about $25,000 for everything. Things are probably A LOT cheaper here than on either cost, but she had a beautiful dress, church ceremony, lots of flowers, reception in a hotel ballroom, DJ all night, appetizers, best photographer in town, sitdown dinner, etc. I wish I had more detailed numbers but I don''t. Hopefully with the economy how it is now and increasing numbers of couples having small weddings you can barter with vendors.

 

[Dreamgirl]

I think all the details are important to me. (in a certain cost limit) But Im a detail oriented person and Im also a designer so I tend to be over creative.

One thing I think may not be important to me is the grooms cake. What is that? You already have the wedding cake. Its weird to me. Maybe I'll get him one of his favorite pies and call that his grooms cake. He loves pie more than cake anyway........lol (He once suggested wedding pies instead of a cake. UH...NO that isn't happening lol)

Also, alcohol. Not important to me. I don't want to pay for overpriced booze and have everyone drink it up and end up drunk and dancing like a bunch of fools and drawing all the attention upon themselves at MY wedding. lol! So, Im thinking I don't want alcohol. Maybe just a champagne toast. That should be sufficient enough. Im not sure yet.........

NO HORRID 70's music either!!!!!!!!!!

 

[dragonfly411]

The dress
Incorporating pastel roses
other pastel flowers
brides maid dresses (mine will be elegant)
my bridesmaids
location
guests
butterflies instead of rice
elegant/victorian theme I THINK

 

[aliciagirl]

Trillionaire - no videographer for us because we both hate the way we sound on tape/video. it annoys us to where we just cringe watching or listening. SO is also very, very shy so having a camera around all day would likely make him act more reserved than he would otherwise.