What do you call your In Laws?

[Sabine]

Mine never offered for me to call them anything else until we were married, so I called them Mr. and Mrs. hislastname up until the wedding. At that point they told me to call them whatever I felt comfortable with, so I''ve been trying to call them by their first names. It''s easier when I''m referring to them to other people, to their faces I still feel awkward.

 

[blondebunny]

hmmmm I call my FI''s aunt and uncles by their first names... and his parents... well I dont think I ever really addressed them with their names.. but if I have I call him by their first name.. But i know as soon as I get married they will want me to call them Mom and Dad.. his Mom will ESPECIALLY want me to call her MOM because she has treated me as if I were her daughter since day one.. and my FI is an only child.. so I think they are flattered and love the idea of me calling them Mom and Dad...

 

[Tuckins1]

I call them by their first names... I was friends with my hubby for years before we started dating, so it just would feel weird to call them anything else. Plus, they don''t like Mr.____ or Mrs._____, and I just wouldn''t feel right calling them Mom or Dad.

 

[radiantquest]

first names, before and after marriage. but sometimes i call his mother Mama_last name_

 

[laughwithme]

I called them by their first names. Of course until about one year of dating, I called them Mr. and Mrs. but they asked me not to, and so I respected that. They are like friends of mine now, though - I see them nearly every weekend - so calling them by first name is very comfortable.

I don''t think I could ever call them Mom and Dad - does anyone else here feel like that is disrespectful to your own parents? I think I would truly hurt my mom and dad''s feelings if they heard me say that at a family gathering.

 

[trillionaire]

I call SO''s mom Mrs. ___ and his Dad Mr. First Name. He wanted me to call him by his first name, but SO is a Jr., and it would be uber strange to call SO and his dad the same name... kinda creepy...

I have no idea what I would call them after engagement/marriage

I love his parents, esp his mom, and I could see myself calling her mom, but I would put money on that pissing my mom off. Jealous mama!

 

[LAJennifer]

First Names - both before and after marriage.

 

[babygirl]

I call both of my boyfriend''s parents by their first names. I think you grow out of the Mr/Mrs thing.. Post marriage, I think I''d still call them by their first names... maybe after awhile I could see calling them Mom and Dad? Kind of weird to think about.

 

[SailorsSweet<3]

I call FFs mother by her first.. I think she suggested it shortly after we met, I cant remember that far back though. I''m growing closer and closer to accidentally calling her "Ma" because SO always refers to her that way and if I''m talking fast "Ma" seems more natural then "your ma". Its bound to happen sooner or later

 

[Dannielle]

I call FI''s Dad and stepmum "Mum and Dad" but i''m not as close with his mum so I call her by her first name.

I used to call them by their first names but then in cards they started calling me ''daughter'' and them ''mum and dad'' so I just followed through

we''ve been together for so long now that I consider them my family so I think it is nice

 

[diamondfan]

I called them by their first names. I still call my mother in law by her first name. I would LIKE to call her something not so nice but I won''t!!! But seriously, she is not a mom figure to me and I am unable to call her other than her first name. Same with my father in law who passed away. He was not a dad type to me, so I felt his first name was adequate.

 

[pocahontas]

Okay, don't laugh...I call FMIL "senora." Not senora *last name* - just good 'ole "senora" - lol! I guess that'll have to change after the wedding, right? FI calls my parents by their first names now so I'll probably end up doing the same with his mom after we're married. FI's father died when he was really young so there's no senor in the picture.

 

[CNYHopeful]

SO''s mom is a teacher and I call her Mrs. _. His Dad is less formal so I call him by his first name. Might call them Ma & Pa after wedding for kicks, but prolly will just call both by their first names. They''re both really wonderful and inspiring to me, but nobody can replace my parents.

 

[Deelight]

I have call my FI''s parents by their first names, his SIL calls them mum and dad his ex-BIL called them by their first names. I wouldn''t have an issue calling them that but I probably wouldn''t do it (if ever) until after we were married.

I don''t think they would care either way really.

 

[jaylex]

Tricky question.
When the bf and I get married, I think i have decided that I will call his dad "papa palmer" (his last name, obviously) because I think it sounds neat and he laughs when I call him that now...

I will call his stepmom by her first name.
I don''t really get along with his mom and stepdad so that is a little harder... but probably either by their first names or Mr. and Mrs. ______.
Definitely not going to be calling them "mom and dad", though.

 

[Lynnie]

I call his mom and step-dad by their first names. His dad is "Big T" (my T is a Jr.)

He calls my mom "Ma"... she insists. Come to think of it, I don''t think he calls my dad anything but "sir"...

 

[bee*]

I''ve always called them by their first names. The first night we met I called them Mr and Mrs Last Name and they wet themselves laughing and told me just to call them their first name.

 

[allycat0303]

I can them Mr. and Mrs. But they have nicknames that all 4 of their children call them by. I don''t think I could ever (known 13 years) even after we were married to call them anything else but Mr. Mrs. And definitely not MOM, DAD. I see that a lot of television, but does anyone do that in real life????

 

[AGBF]

My mother-in-law and father-in-law are deceased and I do not recall what I called them when we first met. I do know that they were Italian and I was American and that we were speaking French (in Italy) as our common language, however. I would guess that I called them either "Madame" and "Monsieur" with their last name or without. Later I switched to using their first names and also to calling them, "maman" and "papa" in French. Since that was not what I called my own parents and was something that some French families did, that felt comfortable. I really came to think of my mother-in-law, who lived much longer and was much more a part of my life than my father-in-law, as "maman". I referred to her as that when I spoke to other family members, such as my sister-in-law, as well as addressing her that way.

When I spoke to my husband, in English, I am sure that I said, "your mother", though!



Deborah

 

[Rhea]

First names, always have. He calls my parents by their first names.

I call his grandmother the same thing DH calls her though. I always forget her first name and just call her Nana. His grandma doesn''t mind and MIL thinks it''s funny. After a discussion with MIL I figured out that MIL avoids calling the grandmother anything because MIL has never been sure what to call her.

 

[Lauren8211]

Ya know, come to think of it, I don''t think I call them anything

I would likely call them by first names, even though it feels weird, but I honestly can''t recall ever calling them anything.

 

[ladypirate]

I call them by their first names...I guess it hadn''t occured to me to call them anything else! His grandmother told me it would mean a lot to her if I''d call her "grandma" though, so I call her that.

He calls my parents by their first names as well, but he''s known them longer than he''s known me so it would be kind of weird for him to call them anything else.

My dad called my mom''s dad "Doc" (he was an MD). He called her mom by her first name, though. I don''t know what my mom called my dad''s parents...they died when I was pretty young.

 

[Italiahaircolor]

My MIL introducted herself to me as Mrs. Last Name and referred to her husband as Mr. Last Name. .... so I went with that only when I had too. Now they want Mom and Dad...but I feel like thats a huge jump, from Mr. & Mrs. to Mom and Dad. So I basically only talk at them, or generally addressing the group to avoid using either name.

 

[cbs102]

this is so hard for me because i was raised to call my elders Mr and Mrs so and so... even though i am 29 i still feel uncomfortable calling someone older than me by their first names. i am with Italia... i sort of speak at them and do not call them by their names... it makes me SO uncomfortable!

 

[MrsHToBe]

Date: 12/2/2008 9:02:15 PM
Author: laughwithme
I called them by their first names. Of course until about one year of dating, I called them Mr. and Mrs. but they asked me not to, and so I respected that. They are like friends of mine now, though - I see them nearly every weekend - so calling them by first name is very comfortable.

Ditto.

 

[Clairitek]

For a few months I wasn''t sure what to call them so if I was talking one of his parents I would refer to the other as "your wife/husband" or "him/her" if they were in the room or "FI''s mother/father". It felt weird as an adult to be calling them Mr and Mrs ______ and they introduced themselves to me by first names. Once I received an email from FI''s mother signed with her first name I started calling them by their first names.

 

[Delster]

They introduced themselves to me with their first names, so I''ve always called them by their first names.

Date: 12/2/2008 5:12:23 PM
Author: meresal

Date: 12/2/2008 4:29:33 PM
Author: news_girl
They asked to be called by their first names, so that''s what we do I''ll likely maintain that after we''re married. Even though I''m in my mid-20''s, I still feel weird about calling parents by their first names...anyone else? hehe

Jokingly, I''ll call his dad ''Captain'' because it''s his title/rank

I am religious about calling people Mr and Mrs. It''s how my parents raised me. I don''t call any of my friend''s parents by their first names. FI''s parents are the only ones, because they continually insisted after we got engaged.

Meresal I was raised this way too, and Mr and Mrs is my default until I''m told otherwise. I''m just wondering what you do when people tell you they want to be called by their first names? Do you continue calling them Mr and Mrs? Or has it just never arisen? I always defer to whatever the person wants themselves.

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 12/3/2008 12:23:16 PM
Author: Delster
They introduced themselves to me with their first names, so I''ve always called them by their first names.

Date: 12/2/2008 5:12:23 PM
Author: meresal

Date: 12/2/2008 4:29:33 PM
Author: news_girl
They asked to be called by their first names, so that''s what we do I''ll likely maintain that after we''re married. Even though I''m in my mid-20''s, I still feel weird about calling parents by their first names...anyone else? hehe

Jokingly, I''ll call his dad ''Captain'' because it''s his title/rank

I am religious about calling people Mr and Mrs. It''s how my parents raised me. I don''t call any of my friend''s parents by their first names. FI''s parents are the only ones, because they continually insisted after we got engaged.

Meresal I was raised this way too, and Mr and Mrs is my default until I''m told otherwise. I''m just wondering what you do when people tell you they want to be called by their first names? Do you continue calling them Mr and Mrs? Or has it just never arisen? I always defer to whatever the person wants themselves.

I still struggle with this, but grad school got me a little more acclimated. SO''s dad insisted that I call him by his first name, because Mr. ___ made him feel old, but I call him Mr. First name. And naturally, I still call him Mr. Last Name, which makes him fuss at me.

But it''s totally ingrained in me, I can''t help it!

 

[sba771]

My FIL''s wanted to be called mom and dad very badly (I could just tell and since they don''t have daughters they were super excited.) I have a mom and a dad and just couldn''t. I call his dad by his first name and his mom by a nickname everyone uses. To be honest it still feels weird to me, but my FMIL told me that when I kept using the nickname at FI''s bro''s wedding she was so happy and just over the moon. I am looking forward to eventually making them grandparents and then referring to them by whatever grandparent name sticks.

 

[cbs102]

Date: 12/3/2008 12:23:16 PM
Author: Delster
They introduced themselves to me with their first names, so I''ve always called them by their first names.

Date: 12/2/2008 5:12:23 PM
Author: meresal

Date: 12/2/2008 4:29:33 PM
Author: news_girl
They asked to be called by their first names, so that''s what we do I''ll likely maintain that after we''re married. Even though I''m in my mid-20''s, I still feel weird about calling parents by their first names...anyone else? hehe

Jokingly, I''ll call his dad ''Captain'' because it''s his title/rank

I am religious about calling people Mr and Mrs. It''s how my parents raised me. I don''t call any of my friend''s parents by their first names. FI''s parents are the only ones, because they continually insisted after we got engaged.

Meresal I was raised this way too, and Mr and Mrs is my default until I''m told otherwise. I''m just wondering what you do when people tell you they want to be called by their first names? Do you continue calling them Mr and Mrs? Or has it just never arisen? I always defer to whatever the person wants themselves.

i am not Mer obviously, but this issue comes to play all the time for me... not just in regards to my FI''s parents. any elder- no matter what, i refer them by mr and mrs.. and even though they more often than not correct me and say, oh please call me XYZ, i don''t do it. this typically leads into this exact debate and most often than not, they tell go into a story about how someone called them by their first name and they thought it was rude..so who knows.

my fi and i are dealing with this right now because he has a daughter who is 4 and we are trying to figure out what she should call my mother. my mom obviously finds it rude and disrespectful for children to call their elders by their first names...so we are actually stumped!