What is your wedding pet peeve?

[JCJD]

Date: 6/14/2006 10:54:02 PM
Author: RoseAngel04
anyways..my wedding pet peeve (along with my bf''s) is people other than the professional photographer taking pictures!! I know that some people may think I''m wrong, but (again at the wedding on Memorial Day) just about everyone was taking pictures. One lady had the nerve to go through all of the pictures that she has previously taken (and not all of them were of the wedding) through at least half of the ceremony!! It was so annoying to hear the ''beep beep'' as she went through her pictures!! It was very rude and inconsiderate of this guest to make all this noise. When it is time for me to plan my marriage I PRAY that people other than the prof. photographer doesn''t take pics b/c I despise it. How would you address this issue with your guests w/o being rude?!

Ugh... my family and J''s family did this during the formal photos. My mom and his dad are big photo and video nuts. Their camera flashes were making the photog''s flashes go off and it was really annoying, plus all the photos they took are washed out from the double flashes. I finally told them (I figured I had license to pull a Bridezilla moment) that if they must take their own pics to at least turn the flash off so our photographer could take their own pics with their own flash equipment without interference. Our church also has a rule about no flash photography during the ceremony (hello, distracting!) so we just put a note in the program. I don''t remember if it was here or on the Knot, but one bride''s crazy aunt or something sent her son (who didn''t want to do it) up to take photos during the formal pics and was getting in the way of the photographer. The photog turned to the aunt and informed her that the couple was paying her to take those photos and the boy was getting in the way so they needed to leave the room. The aunt was furious but nobody else tried getting in the way of the photog after that!
At my HS best friend''s wedding, there were so many family members STANDING around them and the pastor taking photos we couldn''t see anything, and if they weren''t mic''d, we wouldn''t have heard anything either. Granted, they were married at an outdoor amphitheater not in a church, but it was very rude to the other guests, all for the sake of pictures.

 

[E B]

Date: 6/15/2006 11:57:15 AM
Author: swingirl
My pet peeve is when the bride and groom do not invite children/teens (infants, babies and toddlers should be left home) because they think their wedding is an adults-only party, and children might disturb it plus they don't want to pay for their dinner. A wedding reception was never meant to be a party just for the couple, it was a gathering of two families who are now supposed to support the couple throughout thier life together. Families meeting families all to honor the couple and to show their support and good wishes.

Interesting enough, within a few years most of these couples have children and then they get it. It is valuable for children to participate in family events so they understand their place in the family and how much support will be their for them when they marry. But that whole family support thing seems to be less important these days and its become all about a big expensive party for me, me, me.

But, hey, that's just my opinion.

I completely agree with you, Swing. We'll have at least one baby AND a 4 year old at our wedding. If one of them says something or cries a little during the ceremony, who cares? The mother would take the child out of the ceremony and walk them around the gardens. No big deal.

I wouldn't think of excluding children. It not only puts parents in a bind, it's a little anal, if you ask me. Not everything will be perfect anyway, and the giggles/cries of a small child adds to the charm of a family gathering.

 

[Scintillating]

Can I add a peeve?
Tiara's - Not to offend anyone - but you're not royalty - and it's not a pageant.

Scintillating...

 

[Maria D]

My personal pet peeves are theme weddings and destination weddings.

Asking people to dress "renaissance" or "hawaiian" is imposing and silly, in my opinion. A wedding already has a theme. The bride looks like a royal princess (even though we know she''s not royalty) and her husband is Prince Charming and they have a court of attendants. No need for any more "theminess." Thankfully, theme weddings seem to have died out..

And destination weddings. Why do people assume that just because you''d love to "honour them with your presence" at their wedding that you''d like to go on vacation with them? I know people who were actually hurt and offended when close friends and family members balked at spending thousands of dollars to be at their weddings. They whined about how these people had money for other things, or had time enough to save up, or had vacation time coming, so they should have come to their weddings. Hello? How does getting married give you the right to tell other people how to spend their money and vacation time? If these people are so important to you, have a wedding that makes it easy for them to attend!

 

[diamondfan]

Date: 6/15/2006 4:25:01 PM
Author: Scintillating
Can I add a peeve?
Tiara''s - Not to offend anyone - but you''re not royalty - and it''s not a pageant.

Scintillating...

I think a little hair bling goes a long way. I like a head band with an Audrey Hepburn updo, but some people do go overboard. I know it is the big day and most of us have had a fantasy our whole conscious lives about THE way it will be down to the last detail, but one must allow for what makes sense. too!

 

[ivanadiamond]

My biggest pet peeve is when people who have children insisit on bringing their childrento your wedding even when the invitation specifically indicates who is invited. I am further peeved when people who have children assume they know more or better than people who don''t. Like it is fine to have no kids at your wedding, but god forbid 5 years later you have kids and the poor couple having the wedding don''t want your children to attend. it is a personal choice to have a family, a wedding is about two people getting married and they are allowed to carry it out the way they see fit. if you don''t like it - don''t attend, but don''t make people feel guillty for not wanting your kids attend their wedding.

 

[diamondfan]

Date: 6/16/2006 12:57:18 AM
Author: ivanadiamond
My biggest pet peeve is when people who have children insisit on bringing their childrento your wedding even when the invitation specifically indicates who is invited. I am further peeved when people who have children assume they know more or better than people who don''t. Like it is fine to have no kids at your wedding, but god forbid 5 years later you have kids and the poor couple having the wedding don''t want your children to attend. it is a personal choice to have a family, a wedding is about two people getting married and they are allowed to carry it out the way they see fit. if you don''t like it - don''t attend, but don''t make people feel guillty for not wanting your kids attend their wedding.

I agree that if they did not want kids at their own wedding, they should not just bring their kids, if they have any, to someone else''s. If the babysitter got sick at the last minute or something then call, find out if it is appropriate to bring them, (this happened at my wedding, without the call, but ended up okay) because it would be sad to miss someone''s wedding, but do not just assume it is fine. My own sister (who is a bitch) did not even want me to have my two kids (my third was not born yet) to her wedding, her only nephews and no other kids in the group...when I was supposed to be matron of honor...and my kids were not tiny, are well behaved, and would just have attended the ceremony, taken a couple photos and gone back to their room in the hotel with a baby sitter, room service and videos...maybe attend the brunch the next day...(wedding in the hotel, a small inn, so easily managed)...I never forgave her for her attitude and even though she called off that engagement, I still have bad feelings about her handling of things...

 

[KimberlyH]

My pet peeve is when a bride and groom spend zero time together after saying "I do." I''ve been to two weddings in the last 6 months and after each ceremony the grooms disappeared and the brides spent the night on the dance floor with their friends behaving as though they were attending their high school prom. The day is supposed to be about the couple...and it made me sad to see them apart on the day that symbolized the beginning of their life TOGETHER.

 

[galeteia]

I have to say I''m in the children-peeve camp. There is nothing worse than straining to hear "I hereby..."

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! SCREEEEEEEEAAAAAAAM!!!! WAAAAAAIIIILLLLL!!!! HAAAAIEEEEEE!"

"...I do."

I have NO problem with children at a ceremony, providing that they can:

Sit STILL for the duration of the ceremony without fidgeting or running around or being distracting.

Be SILENT for the duration of the ceremony, without screaming, yelling, crying, whining, crying, or talking.

BEHAVE during the ceremony and at the reception, without running underfoot, knocking stuff over, fighting, or otherwise being pint-sized monsters.

I am sure many of you have been at weddings where children have not managed the above. The screaming of small children drowning out the ceremony is something that will NOT happen at my wedding.

 

[swingirl]

I agree.

Excluding family members (children will be adults someday sooner than you think) is still excluding someone who SHOULD be important. No one would want to bring a child who isn''t welcome but the big question I have is why they are not welcome? Why would a newly married couple not want their family and friends of all ages to witness their public expression of love and commitment?

It doesn''t have anything to do with who wants children and who doesn''t. You don''t have to want your own children to value their place in society and family.

Excluding important people from a wedding hurts feelings and isn''t forgotten easily. (I am not referning to inviting your boss''s 5 kids. I am refering to close family members.)

 

[swingirl]

After watching Nanny 911 I can see leaving those kinds of kids in the car in the church parking lot until about midnight!!! And I have never been to a wedding where kids were running around knocking things over. Maybe my family is just lucky.

 

[ivanadiamond]

just because children will be adults someday, doesn't make them adults now.

I also don't feel the need to invite my third cousin or the uncle of my brother- in-law because they are family any more than the need to invite your kids. It's a personal choice and whether they are blood related or not isn't for you to decide. It is the choice of the couple getting married, as much as it is their choice to elope, have a huge wedding, invite family or friends only. To be completely honest, most weddings that I have gone to where kids were invited they were a total distraction to the bride and groom. I also want to emphasise that I want kids, we are trying for our first one as we speak... But I don't see how having a 5 year old at my ceremony or reception will for any reason make them closer to me than not havng them there, whether in 10 years from now I like the man or woman they have grown in to. Every one is entitled to invite and conduct their wedding as they wish, again- if you don't like it don't attend. I just don't get the difference between it being your kid or your boss's kids, if they yell, shout, cry, scream, whatever, I don't care whose child they are - I don't want them at my wedding. If you are an adult that wishes to act out in any of the above behaviors then I wouldn't invite them either

 

[ocbride2007]

Ok, now I think A-line and ball gown dresses, with cathedral trains and the like, are beautiful on many girls. BUT I hate seeing the bride walk down the aisle, the bottom of her gown covered in dirt and scuff marks, from just the walk from the limo!!! I know they edit it out in photos, but still.. a white gown should stay as white as can be!!! And they tend to just work as the best duster on church aisles, dust bunnies galore!! Maybe I should just buy an old gown off ebay and sweep my house with that, since they seem to get stuff that the brooms leave behind. (Note to self... make sure to get an aisle runner!!).

Anyway, no matter how gorgeous the gowns look on, I really could not wear one for fear of what will get on it!! I''m simply too clumsy to be careful enough to deal with it. I''m having a nice slim skirt with a sweep train, which I will hold up above my ankles when I''m walking outside!! And bringing plenty of chalk, just in case!!

 

[anchor31]

Date: 6/15/2006 1:00:28 PM
Author: chickflick

Date: 6/15/2006 8:52:47 AM
Author: anchor31
I apologize if anyone here has done this, but my biggest wedding pet peeves is non-religious people getting married in a church because ''it''s pretty''. My FF and I went to a wedding together three years ago and at the time my brother was dating the bride''s sister. He asked her why her sister and her FH, who are baptised and confirmed but don''t believe in God and never go to church, were getting married in a church. She said ''It''s romantic!!''. Erm, no. Getting married in a church is first and foremost religious, not romantic. That''s what my FF, my brother and I think, anyway.

I totally agree with you on this one. It peeves me that if I wanted to get married in the church I have been a member of for ten years, most of the dates are taken a year in advance by people who have probably never attended a service there just because we have a lovely chapel. There are plenty of other places to have your ceremony if you aren''t terribly religious.

We ended up planning a cruise ship wedding, anyway.

It was a better choice for us because my fiancee'' had some issues with religion growing up, so like you, getting married in a church would have felt false to him. So we are honoring God by getting married on the sea, one of His greatest creations!

Ugh, chickflick, that sucks!

I don''t understand why some people make vows before a God they don''t even believe in!

But yay for your cruise ship wedding!! I''m sure it''ll be lovely; I love the water. Like you, FF and I consider nature as God''s greatest creation, so we really want to have an outdoor wedding... And we know that He will be with us and bless our marriage even if we don''t marry in a church.

 

[curlygirl]

Oh how I wish I knew about the bouquet thing before I got married. Yes, I held mine like a microphone. NOBODY TOLD ME!!!! I really had no idea until I saw the photos and was so upset that the beautiful top part of my dress was totally covered by my huge bouquet. That''s great advice for future brides.

 

[froufrou]

okay, I have some.

1, (my friend did this last year), one of my childhood friends invited me to her wedding and I live out of town, and I was only going to know her and nobody else at the wedding, and she did not invite me with a guest even though she knew i''d been seeing my boyfriend longer than she''d been seeing her husband and i was serious with him. I mean, i know you are trying to save money, but why would I come that far to sit at some random table all by myself and not know any other people there, its not like i would even get to sit by the bride. its just not fun.

2, i know absolutely everyone does this, but why does the wedding party sit by themselves at one table while their dates all sit somewhere else? I think the dates should sit at the same table with the wedding party or arrange it somehow so the dates dont have to sit by themselves with the other party dates. i dont want to offend anyone with that one, its just what ive been thinking about cause im going to two weddings this year where my boyfriend''s a groomsman and has to walk down the aisle with the bride''s sister (maybe im jealous cause i want to walk down the aisle with him FIRST).

3, i went to a wedding 2 years ago where THERE WERE NOT ENOUGH SEATS FOR ALL THE GUESTS AT THE RECEPTION. half the guests had to stand up. we stood around wiating for the bride and groom to arrive for like an hour and a half, then a lot of people finally just left because there was nowhere really to sit and there was not a whole lot of standing room. i dont know what happened, maybe too many people came who weren''t invited, or maybe they just didnt realize how many chairs there were? who knows.

 

[aljdewey]

Date: 6/15/2006 11:57:15 AM
Author: swingirl
My pet peeve is when the bride and groom do not invite children/teens (infants, babies and toddlers should be left home) because they think their wedding is an adults-only party, and children might disturb it plus they don''t want to pay for their dinner. A wedding reception was never meant to be a party just for the couple, it was a gathering of two families who are now supposed to support the couple throughout thier life together. Families meeting families all to honor the couple and to show their support and good wishes.

Interesting enough, within a few years most of these couples have children and then they get it. It is valuable for children to participate in family events so they understand their place in the family and how much support will be their for them when they marry. But that whole family support thing seems to be less important these days and its become all about a big expensive party for me, me, me.

But, hey, that''s just my opinion.

Funny, because my peeve is just the opposite......I am irritated by folks who think that a wedding/reception *must* include their infants/babies/toddlers.

In my experience, those who want a child-free wedding are not trying to get out of paying for childrens'' meals. It''s disappointing that folks assume it''s about money! I wonder how parents would like it if people assumed they wanted to bring your children because they are trying to get out of paying for a babysitter?

For me, it has to do with not wanting to strain to hear my husband''s wedding vows because someone''s young child is having a tantrum, and the parents don''t have the common sense to get up and take the child outside.

As far as what a wedding is "meant" to be......well, I''d propose that everyone has different opinions/ideas about that, and there is no one "supposed-to-be" plan. So, for those feel weddings are family events including young children, by all mean have them there. For those of us who don''t share the same opinion about weddings being family free-for-alls, we reserve the right to follow our inclinations and not include them.

I don''t share the view that a wedding/reception is an "all-family" event. It''s a (hopefully) once-in-a-lifetime day, and it should be whatever the bride/groom want. I would never tell someone who loves children and wants to be surrounded by children''s laughter on her wedding day that she should conform to my child-free vision of what that day should be, and I don''t expect anyone else to tell me that I should conform to her child-filled vision, either.

Honestly, if I had very young children, I''d feel like it was more considerate to them to have them spend a day with a babysitter they like doing things THEY would enjoy instead of putting them through the torture of a wedding ceremony and reception, which is no fun for them.

I love children, but I don''t believe every venue under the sun is appropriate for them. I love dogs, too, but I don''t think every venue under the sun is appropriate for them either.

But.....that''s just my humble opinion.

 

[aljdewey]

Date: 6/16/2006 1:50:08 AM
Author: swingirl

Excluding family members (children will be adults someday sooner than you think) is still excluding someone who SHOULD be important. No one would want to bring a child who isn't welcome but the big question I have is why they are not welcome? Why would a newly married couple not want their family and friends of all ages to witness their public expression of love and commitment?

It doesn't have anything to do with who wants children and who doesn't. You don't have to want your own children to value their place in society and family.

Excluding important people from a wedding hurts feelings and isn't forgotten easily. (I am not referning to inviting your boss's 5 kids. I am refering to close family members.)

To answer your question.....because not everyone considers a wedding a "public expression" and family event as you do.

I don't see it that way. A wedding is not a family reunion to me.....it's the day that two people exchange vows and meld their lives together. It's about THEM. It't not necessarily about inviting every family member even remotely related to them. Some people treat it that way, and that's fine for them, but it does not obligate me to treat it that way when it's my wedding.

There are plenty of other events where I can "value their place in society and family"; it does not have to be at my wedding.

 

[jas]

Date: 6/16/2006 1:46:11 AM
Author: Galateia
I have to say I''m in the children-peeve camp. There is nothing worse than straining to hear ''I hereby...''

''WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! SCREEEEEEEEAAAAAAAM!!!! WAAAAAAIIIILLLLL!!!! HAAAAIEEEEEE!''

''...I do.''

I have NO problem with children at a ceremony, providing that they can:

Sit STILL for the duration of the ceremony without fidgeting or running around or being distracting.

Be SILENT for the duration of the ceremony, without screaming, yelling, crying, whining, crying, or talking.

BEHAVE during the ceremony and at the reception, without running underfoot, knocking stuff over, fighting, or otherwise being pint-sized monsters.

I am sure many of you have been at weddings where children have not managed the above. The screaming of small children drowning out the ceremony is something that will NOT happen at my wedding.

I''m with Galateia on this one. The fiance and I had this discussion and decided that his nephews (ages 5-13) are invited, and for all other children, we will provide a baby sitting service.

It''s important for me that the ceremony remain staid and solemn. Funny enough, I have no issue with babies at the ceremony or reception -- the parents of infants that we''re inviting are considerate enough to take the baby out if it gets fussy (and by that, I don''t mean to sound harsh).

However, we''re providing the baby sitter in case the parents don''t want to have to worry about the baby''s comfort for the evening or have to lug around diaper bags.

I mean that -- I hope it doesn''t sound insincere.

However, (and I say this as a teacher), I have been to too many events where kids 3-15 were just an embarrassment, and the parents act like their own kids are strangers, letting them run amok or sneaking off to those "cool" spiral staircases or other nooks and crannies to cause trouble. If you''re not going to parent your child, I don''t want to have to do it on my wedding day (and I know I will go into "teacher mode.") I think the few parents we''re inviting with kids that age would set expectations for the ceremony, and then let the kids go nuts during the party. I could be wrong.

Also, our wedding is on a Sunday, starting at 5 and going until about 11...that''s a school night and probably too late for the little ones. Sleep deprivation is the enemy of No Child Left Behind. And I don''t want the night to turn into No Child''s Behind Left

Again, our exception is immediate family.

 

[anchor31]

We don't have young children in our immediate family, so it solves the problem for us. But if we had, I'm not sure I'd want to invite them. I went to weddings (second cousins or something like that) as a child and was bored out of my wits. They were those big fancy family reunions and I hated them.

Another pet peeve I have is if you do invite children, please try to keep the event PG rated, please... At the bouquet and garter toss at the wedding FF and I attended 3 years ago, not only did the groom pull out a G-string from under the bride's dress (

), but the man who'd caught the garter had to put it on the bouquet-catcher's leg with his teeth, which most grown-ups found very funny, the man's two little boys didn't find it funny at all and were trying very hard to pry him away from the other woman!

I don't know... It just seems to me like those are adult games that should be toned down in the presence of children... I have to admit I'm not a big fan of public suggestive jokes myself.

 

[KristyDarling]

Not enough hors d''ouvres to go around at cocktail hour.

A cocktail "hour" that draaaaaags on for multiple hours.

Awkward wedding traditions: when groom retrieves garter with his teeth, electric slide, macarena, cake-smashing, bouquet toss (I always hated this when I was single). I made sure to omit these from my own wedding.

And I agree about the bouquet-holding thing...the first thing my photog told me was to keep my hands low and hold the bouquet down at my pelvis. Too many brides are unaware of the natural tendency to hold the bouquet under the chin, which would be fine except that it looks strange in pictures.

Cheesy DJs.

 

[KristyDarling]

I just read through the whole thread. I have 2 small children and have been told that they are not welcome at weddings...only to show up and see TONS of little kids (relatives of the bride and groom) screaming and yelling and running all over the place. I understand why the bride and groom''s youngest relatives are invited, but still, it was irritating to see them all there causing a ruckus after thinking that it would be an adults-only event and hiring a babysitter to watch my kids.

My personal take is that young kids and babies make wedding events all the more special and family-oriented. Just a warmer, more inclusive feeling overall. There were babies SCREAMING during the most serious moments of my ceremony and DH and I just laughed because we knew that was going to happen. It wouldn''t be a wedding without some kid screaming during the I Do''s.

We have some friends who had a gorgeous wine country wedding, who invited people from all over the country and world. They specifically said "no children," but knew that people were bringing their whole families on the trip (people flew in from as far as Europe). So, only DH went while I stayed at the hotel with the kids. DH said that there were THREE whole tables (30 people!!!) of single spouses: husbands without their wives, or wives without their husbands, because the spouses were in the hotel taking care of the kids. Now that just seems wrong, doesn''t it! I would be crushed to know that only 50% of my friends were at my wedding because of my no-kids rule. But I know that a lot of people are sensitive about this issue and want a very quiet ceremony and sophisticated reception...in which case kids would sort of not fit in. To each his own.

 

[s00n2bRTrnr]

Between my FI and I we have seven boys ranging from ages 13 to one. They are all invited to our wedding because we don''t get to see them often and feel that the ceramony/reception are about showing the people closest to us that we want them to share in how much we love each other. I feel that a wedding ceramony is a type of family reuinon because that is when we invite family we don''t see often. IE I have three boys, two are in Cali, the other is in CT with my parents, my sister and her kids live in CT, my aunts and uncles live in CT maine and NH, my fi''s family lives in TN along with two of his boys and his other two live in FLA with their mother. I want them all there to see that we love each other so much we are combining our families together and we want them all there to meet each other and get to know each other and see just how much we care about each other. Most of MY family might not show, and that hurts, but IMHO, weddings are a type of family reuinons.

Although I agree with most of you that the screaming and whining and yelling can be rude and interrupting and annoying, think about how the children feel about having to sit still especially the younger children. Just remember that when you invite children even if there parents claim they are behaved you HAVE to expect the yelling, screaming, whining and yelling. If you don''t want all that than help out your guests, u know they have kids, but don''t want them there, spend the extra money to have your 16 year old neice and a friend watch them for the cermony...at the reception, most of the adults are going to be loud, why not let the kids in?

 

[DonaBella]

I just wanted to chime in here and say that I am in support to have your wedding day be, first of all, where you want it to be. Secondly, invite who you want to it and that doesn''t mean you are obligated to invite every family member or cousin or whomever just because you know them or your parents know them or whatever. It is a very personal event and the bride and groom can and should invite whomever they darn well want to witness their union. It should NEVER be out of obligation.

Thirdly, I totally agree that children do NOT always have to be included on the guest list. I guess this is an extention of #2. Someone has already mentioned that if kids are part of your vision of a perfect wedding, then, by all means, go for it, but in the same breathe, you must allow others to feel differently on how they decide to conduct their wedding and reception.

My son recently got married and it was mostly an adult event. My GF was a bit miffed that her boys--11, 14, and 17--were not invited, but everything worked out for everyone. The wedding was held on Memorial Day--which BTW, was NOT my choice, but the happy couple''s, and school was the next day so they didn''t want their kid out late, so it all worked out. Most people who go to weddings want to join in the celebration of the happy couple and not be distracted with their obligations of parenting to needy, noisy, frustated little ones. Its just not the right situation for anyone, especially the kids. Some of you may have been just plain lucky that a little one didn''t wail at a precisely choice moment, but trust me, it was just luck. Besides, we ended up having an open house reception the following Saturday for "families in their entirety" and that was attended by mostly adults...and their was NO restrictions on the invite, in fact, I encouraged people to make it a family thing. Go figure...

There will ALWAYS be someone who will get their feelings hurt over something, so don''t sweat it...

 

[aljdewey]

Date: 6/16/2006 12:13:47 PM

My personal take is that young kids and babies make wedding events all the more special and family-oriented. Just a warmer, more inclusive feeling overall. There were babies SCREAMING during the most serious moments of my ceremony and DH and I just laughed because we knew that was going to happen. It wouldn''t be a wedding without some kid screaming during the I Do''s.

See....and to me, it''s not a wedding is some kid IS screaming during the "I do"s. I don''t think young children at a wedding makes it more special or enhances it in any way.

And I do agree.....to each his own. For those that don''t mind screaming kids while exchanging vows, by all means invite kids to your wedding. And for those of us who don''t enjoy it, please respect our wishes when we say "no children".

ETA: On a side note.....many of you have mentioned frustration at having abided by a no-children stipulation only to arrive and find kids there. I''d respectfully suggest that this may not mean it was condoned by the bride/groom. It could just as easily be the result of those who were too rude to honor the "no kids" request.....foolishly thinking "oh, but surely that doesn''t mean MY kids".

 

[aljdewey]

Date: 6/16/2006 12:40:53 PM
Author: s00n2bRTrnr

If you don''t want all that than help out your guests, u know they have kids, but don''t want them there, spend the extra money to have your 16 year old neice and a friend watch them for the cermony...at the reception, most of the adults are going to be loud, why not let the kids in?

Speaking just for myself here......

My reception was a harbor cruise, so it wasn''t "standard fare". By standard fare, I mean rent the hall/ballroom, sit down dinner, dancing, drinking reception. I cannot tell you how many people I''ve seen have more than their share to drink during events like that.

Call me crazy, but I just don''t see that a preferred environment if I''m a parent. For the same reason, I wouldn''t want to bring my kid to a keg party or a nightclub.

Also, parents need a "night out" too. I cannot tell you how many parents I''ve seen who say how great it is to be out, they never get out anymore, and prioritize their good time and their night out over monitoring/enforcing kids behavior at those events.

For young children, wedding/receptions are usually boring and too long for their attention spans. It''s a recipe for unhappy kids, and I personally think hiring a sitter or asking friends/family to babysit is a much kinder option for both parents and kids.

 

[aljdewey]

Date: 6/16/2006 12:47:33 PM
Author: DeannaBana

Most people who go to weddings want to join in the celebration of the happy couple and not be distracted with their obligations of parenting to needy, noisy, frustated little ones. Its just not the right situation for anyone, especially the kids.

A heart amen on that, Deanna.

 

[laine]

Date: 6/16/2006 10:00:05 AM
Author: froufrou

2, i know absolutely everyone does this, but why does the wedding party sit by themselves at one table while their dates all sit somewhere else? I think the dates should sit at the same table with the wedding party or arrange it somehow so the dates dont have to sit by themselves with the other party dates. i dont want to offend anyone with that one, its just what ive been thinking about cause im going to two weddings this year where my boyfriend''s a groomsman and has to walk down the aisle with the bride''s sister (maybe im jealous cause i want to walk down the aisle with him FIRST).

Lately I''ve been to a few weddings that had one table for bridesmaids and dates, and other for the groomsman and their dates. It was much nicer for everyone involved. Personally, I''ve never been a fan of the long head table, with the whole bridal party on display. Just seems so awkward to me.

 

[RoseAngel04]

First to address the whole "Memorial Day Wedding" that I went to. I PERSONALLY would not choose to have my wedding on this day, or labor day bc, at least where I live, most families go out of town for the weekend etc, and if there is a Sat wedding they most likely won''t get to leave town like usual. It''s fine if some people''s families would be able to easily get together on a holiday weekend for a wedding, but all i''m saying is take your guests plans into consideration as well if you REALLY want them to come. If you don''t then forget it!

All I know is that my FF and myself will stay away from MD/LD wkends.

Second, I completely agree that it is very distracting and annoying to hear the wailing of a young child during the ceremony of a wedding.

I don''t have a problem with them being at the reception nearly as much as the ceremony. Speaking for myself, I want to remember my wedding ceremony clearly and vividly w/o the memory of lil bobby laughing or whining! The whole baby-sitter idea for during the ceremony is a good idea, but I know a lot of parents who would take the chance only to have the boo hooing occur. Not sure how my FF and I will address this situation with our guests when the time comes but we shall see!

 

[Linda W]

When my DH and I married 25 years ago, they didn''t have video cameras then, but my dad, who is now deceased, tape recorded the ceremony for us. My SIL let her twin boys scream through the whole ceremony. This woman is my DH brother''s wife.

Needless to say DH and I were so upset. Now, every anniversary we listen to our tape and have champagne and all we hear is the screaming of the twins, who are now 26 years old. We can barely hear the pastor performing the ceremony.

We never said anything to our SIL, for fear of causing a huge family argument, but you would think she would have known better.

Linda