kcoursolle
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What''''s the average diamond size where you live?
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UCLABelle
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I grew up in the Bay Area (a nice town by Stanford U.) which had about a 2 ct average. However, most of the jewels were understated. I then lived in Orange County, CA. The sverage seems about 2.5...and the rings seem a bit more, flashy. Then I lived in Manhattan *NYC and feel the average was 1.5-2...now I live in Philly, the average is under 1 ct it seems.
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You''re right, Ally, they were boat people. Fled Vietnam at the end of the war and somehow managed to eke out a living in the U.S., despite very little grasp of the language and very little education. Zero money. I''m thinking their difficult past might be why they are so focused on having material wealth right now...as if that can give them a sense of security and help to heal some wounds, somehow.
allycat0303
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oops, KristyDarling...yes, I got mixed up because both ladies have boulder stones
KristyDarling: I think that with boat peope there seems to be two reactions a) you had a really insecure past where you lost everything, therefore it makes you extremely conservative with money, because you scared of second war, etc., or that you spend because you were depreived for too long. My parents and their friends are the second kind. They had it all, and then they lost it all. They feel that all luxury items are a waste of money except putting it in the bank and trust funds. . Although my mom did use her previous diamond ring the family''s way past viet cong guards so that they could make it out of Vietnam. With the currency in chaos, they were thirlled to have gold and diamonds to trade for a better life (so diamonds can have a practical use
KristyDarling: I think that with boat peope there seems to be two reactions a) you had a really insecure past where you lost everything, therefore it makes you extremely conservative with money, because you scared of second war, etc., or that you spend because you were depreived for too long. My parents and their friends are the second kind. They had it all, and then they lost it all. They feel that all luxury items are a waste of money except putting it in the bank and trust funds. . Although my mom did use her previous diamond ring the family''s way past viet cong guards so that they could make it out of Vietnam. With the currency in chaos, they were thirlled to have gold and diamonds to trade for a better life (so diamonds can have a practical use
lumpkin
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Alleycat, I think the same can be said of people who grew up during the Great Depression. One of my aunts is very conservative. Her husband was disabled and she had to support him and her two children, and I''m just sure she did the cooking and cleaning as well. She is notoriously cheap, bordering on stingy, but she is a really sweet lady. It drives my mom nuts. My mom is the opposite -- her house is stacked up with stuff she has bought. Unfortunately it isn''t diamonds, it''s stuff like having several pairs of flip flops in every color in her size. She has boxes of shoes she doesn''t wear, closets full of clothes she no longer wears because she''s getting on in years and just doesn''t have the occassions to wear them. Loads of fabric to make curtains, bedding, coats, quilts, etc. My MIL is also very, very conservative with money. She has about five outfits that she''s gotten in the past few years -- everything else is from loooooonnnnnnnggggggggg ago, like 1970''s polyester. They used to trade cars every few years and pay cash for them, though. I think FIL is more like my mom and my MIL is more like my aunt. A happy medium just doesn''t seem to factor in when people grow up desperately poor.
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I don't know about boat people's "motives" (for lack of a better word) as such, but I do know from my Mom's life-long obsession with diamonds as well as from what I've been told by this young lady who works in Singapore but travels back to Vietnam on a regular basis that Vietnamese women in general (of course this is a generalisation and is not true for all VN women) inlcuding those who live in VN (and that's what I meant by "those who can afford it" but of course there are some poor people in VN who can't even afford to feed themselves - and this is not meant to patronise or be condescending - just factual) that they tend to "want" (affordability is another thing altogether) bigger, whiter, better clarity diamonds. Those who have money, whether they live in VN or overseas, will spend more, whether it's on houses, cars or diamonds or whatever. What I wrote above is purely an observation and to answer the OP's qusestion; it is not meant to venture into socio-economics status or reasons behind their sporting larger diamonds. It's meant to be fun and light-hearted
. Now, if we want to discuss boat people and their motivation, their success or for that matter failure, maybe another thread will serve the purpose better?
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I just want to add that I''d never ever condone going into debt just to buy luxuries like diamonds, and yes diamonds are a luxury item. If I were that girl, I''d totally refuse to buy the diamond or anything else, just to keep her mother happy and in the meantime, she''s had to go into debt. That''s just irresponsible and not smart at all!
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KristyDarling,
It is not true that boat people have little education. Whilst it may be true that most of them come to the US, UK or whatever country, with little or no money (they lost it after the Communists took over South VN and/ or had to use the money to buy their passage out of the country), most Vietnamese in general are actually well educated (the literacy rate in VN is about 90-95%). The majority of Vietnamese who fled the country and re-settled elsewhere are actually the more educated ones and tended to be middle class (or else they couldn''t have afforded to pay for the "tickets" or "seats" on those boats or even known how to get out).
(True, there are some poorer folks who managed to get out, based on perhaps their relationship with the people who had money and conversely, there are some less educated folks who nonetheless had enough money to buy their way out.)
The above is not meant to be defensive, just hoping to correct a mis-perception.
It is not true that boat people have little education. Whilst it may be true that most of them come to the US, UK or whatever country, with little or no money (they lost it after the Communists took over South VN and/ or had to use the money to buy their passage out of the country), most Vietnamese in general are actually well educated (the literacy rate in VN is about 90-95%). The majority of Vietnamese who fled the country and re-settled elsewhere are actually the more educated ones and tended to be middle class (or else they couldn''t have afforded to pay for the "tickets" or "seats" on those boats or even known how to get out).
(True, there are some poorer folks who managed to get out, based on perhaps their relationship with the people who had money and conversely, there are some less educated folks who nonetheless had enough money to buy their way out.)
The above is not meant to be defensive, just hoping to correct a mis-perception.
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KristyDarling,
It's also not true that "they somehow manage to eke out a living" or "have very little grasp of the language". There are lots and lots of very successful Vietnamese all over the US, France, UK etc. Even the Vietnamese living in VN speak pretty decent English (btw, have you been there at all?). The Vietnamese are amongst the most well educated (I repeat myself), well qualified people I know. They are also savvy investors and successful businessmen/ women and professionals. Obviously, there are also those who are not so successful, just like any other race. We can't all be talented and successful
.
Not sure where you got your infor from, KristyDarling, but your sweeping generalisation/ blatant statement indicates a lack of knowledge and understanding. I'd be happy to provide you with further infor if you so wish.
What is true though is that due to the hardship (surving the takeover of South VN, the boat trip itself, adapting to a new country and culture etc.) they've gone through, they are much more determined and persevering than yr average person.
(Incidentally, the upper-class, the super-rich and super-educated Vietnamese, ie. the creme-de-la-creme, also fled VN, before the war ended, and have done extremely well in the US, France etc. I know you were talking 'bout boat people, but thought I'd add this just in case you think all Vietnamese have little education or no money).
It's also not true that "they somehow manage to eke out a living" or "have very little grasp of the language". There are lots and lots of very successful Vietnamese all over the US, France, UK etc. Even the Vietnamese living in VN speak pretty decent English (btw, have you been there at all?). The Vietnamese are amongst the most well educated (I repeat myself), well qualified people I know. They are also savvy investors and successful businessmen/ women and professionals. Obviously, there are also those who are not so successful, just like any other race. We can't all be talented and successful
Not sure where you got your infor from, KristyDarling, but your sweeping generalisation/ blatant statement indicates a lack of knowledge and understanding. I'd be happy to provide you with further infor if you so wish.
What is true though is that due to the hardship (surving the takeover of South VN, the boat trip itself, adapting to a new country and culture etc.) they've gone through, they are much more determined and persevering than yr average person.
(Incidentally, the upper-class, the super-rich and super-educated Vietnamese, ie. the creme-de-la-creme, also fled VN, before the war ended, and have done extremely well in the US, France etc. I know you were talking 'bout boat people, but thought I'd add this just in case you think all Vietnamese have little education or no money).
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Uhhh, OK.
I don't think I've ever been accused of anything quite like that -- ever. Very insulting, actually. As an Asian-American myself, I know that Asian immigrants are as diverse as the countries they come from....everyone comes from all walks of life and backgrounds -- none better than another.
If you read my previous posts CAREFULLY, you'll see that what I wrote pertained to **my friend's family specifically**. I don't see any "sweeping, blanket statements" about boat people anywhere in my post. Growing up with my Vietnamese friend, I was VERY well-schooled on her people's history during that turbulent time...it just so happens that *HER* parents didn't have high school diplomas, can barely speak English (NOT a judgement, just an observation as I have spent a lot of time with her parents and still can't really communicate with them), and struggled VERY HARD to raise their family in the U.S. I was there. I spent time with her and her family. I knew how difficult their circumstances were.
I respectully suggest that you read people's posts more carefully before jumping to conclusions and posting something this incendiary.
If you read my previous posts CAREFULLY, you'll see that what I wrote pertained to **my friend's family specifically**. I don't see any "sweeping, blanket statements" about boat people anywhere in my post. Growing up with my Vietnamese friend, I was VERY well-schooled on her people's history during that turbulent time...it just so happens that *HER* parents didn't have high school diplomas, can barely speak English (NOT a judgement, just an observation as I have spent a lot of time with her parents and still can't really communicate with them), and struggled VERY HARD to raise their family in the U.S. I was there. I spent time with her and her family. I knew how difficult their circumstances were.
I respectully suggest that you read people's posts more carefully before jumping to conclusions and posting something this incendiary.
Beacon
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allycat0303
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lienTN, First of all, I really don''t think KristyDarling meant anything other then an observation. As a long time member of this forum, she has never said anything which I feel is blatant/generalization etc, including her post. She was simply talking about her specific friend.
AND I would like to say that she was responding to my post which I was responding to your posts which said that "Vietnamese woman living overseas won''t be caught dead without a 3 carat stone" I know of quite a few Vietnamese woman living overseas on this forum (me included and GingerBcookie, who are most definitely still alive and wearing less then 3 carat stones). So that to me struck me as a little offensive, because if anything I feel it makes Viet girls look really materialistic and superficial.
And finally, as to discussing what boat people do...my parents are boat people, restablished highly successful and highly educated. KristyDarling and I were just discussing on what are our experiences with people that have been through a traumatic experience were and what their reactions are.
As a asian-american I can''t really see her even having those preconcieved notions, because face it, she''s living proof that asian immigrants do very well indeed.
AND I would like to say that she was responding to my post which I was responding to your posts which said that "Vietnamese woman living overseas won''t be caught dead without a 3 carat stone" I know of quite a few Vietnamese woman living overseas on this forum (me included and GingerBcookie, who are most definitely still alive and wearing less then 3 carat stones). So that to me struck me as a little offensive, because if anything I feel it makes Viet girls look really materialistic and superficial.
And finally, as to discussing what boat people do...my parents are boat people, restablished highly successful and highly educated. KristyDarling and I were just discussing on what are our experiences with people that have been through a traumatic experience were and what their reactions are.
As a asian-american I can''t really see her even having those preconcieved notions, because face it, she''s living proof that asian immigrants do very well indeed.
TravelingGal
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The term usually refers to the Vietnamese who fled communist controlled Vietnam in the late ''70''s (in literal boats). Here is a little about it within this article:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boat_people
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Alleycat, I was referring to the women i know and have seen. The OP''s Q is "what''s the average diamond size where you live?". I was simply writing about my observation and abt Vietnamese women''s (again the ones I know and see) penchant for larger, better stones. I was also passing on a comment from someone who travels regularly to VN and whom I''ve known for a long time and trust that she tells me the truth. FYI, I didn''t have a 3 carat when I got engaged, I got a 1 carat and wore it with pride for 11 yrs before I was given a larger stone by DH for our 10th wedding anniversary. Like I''ve already said, it was meant to be fun and light-hearted. I did not pass judgement, unlike what you are doing to me here. FYI, if you really want to know more details, these women I know that wear larger diamonds are very succesful, either in their own rights or as a couple, and they or their DH have bought their diamonds after having taken care of the more "less materialictic" items like kids'' education, a nice home for themselves, taking care of their parents etc. If they have the extra cash to spare, then I''d say why not? For that matter, are you saying that us PS''ers who do have and want larger diamonds, like Diamondfan (who has a huge following btw) are materialistic? If you find it offensive, then that''s up to you. LOL. Again, I stress it was meant to be an observation, not to explore into why and certainly not to pass judgement as to whether they should or should not wear bigger diamonds. Why can''t you just take it at face value and have a chuckle abt it like it was intended to?
Regarding KD''s post, I admit I did jump the gun a bit, that''s why I didn''t respond after she responded. I was willing to let sleeping dogs lie. But since you''re digging it up again, I''d be careful writing in the same sentence abt a particular race/ nationality and having no income/ little education etc. It might be construed (as it did for me) as being potically incorrect.
In any case, i am wondering, how would her "best friend" feel if she knew abt this forum and found out that KD has blabbed to the whole world abt her parents'' lack of common sense, income, education etc. I wouldn''t be too pleased.
Regarding KD''s post, I admit I did jump the gun a bit, that''s why I didn''t respond after she responded. I was willing to let sleeping dogs lie. But since you''re digging it up again, I''d be careful writing in the same sentence abt a particular race/ nationality and having no income/ little education etc. It might be construed (as it did for me) as being potically incorrect.
In any case, i am wondering, how would her "best friend" feel if she knew abt this forum and found out that KD has blabbed to the whole world abt her parents'' lack of common sense, income, education etc. I wouldn''t be too pleased.
Kaleigh
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Oh that''s a bit harsh don''t you think?? KD is just about the nicest poster I know on PS. I didn''t take what she said the wrong way at all. You spoke about your real life experiences and so did she... So isn''t that what this thread was about?? If I''m wrong, please enlighten me, but skip the drama.
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diamondfan
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Lien, I agree with Kaleigh. We all come on here from time to time and refer anonymously to someone in our lives to illustrate a point. KD is one of the nicest people here, she is always respectful and kind, and if she wants to make reference to someone she knows to make something clear, it is up to her. She is not naming names or in any way compromising anyone...plus, if that is HER opinion, she is entitled to it. There isn't really right or wrong in an opinion, as long as there is respect towards others...
TravelingGal
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TravelingGal
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OK, I reread, because I''m a skim reader, and I really don''t see where KD made any comment about a "particular race/nationality and having no income/little education." She was talking about her friend''s situation, right? So I think not only are you jumping the gun AGAIN, but you are actually putting words in her mouth. How politically incorrect!
Of course, asians have little eyes, so maybe I can''t see and I am not reading right. Oh good god, did I just make a sweeping generalization?
grapegravity
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Kaleigh
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TravelingGal
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Sure...for a fee. Say...that nice diamond ring ya got on yer finger?Date: 3/19/2007 11:49:34 PM
Author: Kaleigh
TG, get out of my head!!!
I really should get out of your head anyway...I gotta go pick up a dictionary to learn how to spell "assassination." When one makes a snarky comment, one should always spell it correctly...hehehe. Too bad my fingers are faster than my English major brain................
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I changed my mind, I will respond. I won''t take this lying down.
Lien, you accused people here of "digging it up again" whilst you were willing to let sleeping dogs lie. But the fact is, you put words into my mouth (very inflammatory ones!) that definitely were not there...and like it or not, you were called on it. Did you expect me or anyone else here to just take that lying down?? Fellow posters here had every right to "dig" that back up because it is a big no-no to flame someone like that and "blab to the world" (using your terminology) that I''m essentially a racist.
And, if you read my posts *carefully*, you''ll see that not once did I disparage my friend nor her family. I simply stated some very basic, generic, (and non-identifying) facts about them. If that''s "blabbing to the world" then I guess 100% of everyone else on the board is guilty of it too.
It says a lot when someone is obviously wrong, but just can''t admit it nor be mature enough to just apologize sincerely. And what''s worse, tries to turn the tables by attempting to *deflect* blame onto others with weak little jabs -- i.e. like calling them a blabber.
Sad, and SO transparent.
Lien, you accused people here of "digging it up again" whilst you were willing to let sleeping dogs lie. But the fact is, you put words into my mouth (very inflammatory ones!) that definitely were not there...and like it or not, you were called on it. Did you expect me or anyone else here to just take that lying down?? Fellow posters here had every right to "dig" that back up because it is a big no-no to flame someone like that and "blab to the world" (using your terminology) that I''m essentially a racist.
And, if you read my posts *carefully*, you''ll see that not once did I disparage my friend nor her family. I simply stated some very basic, generic, (and non-identifying) facts about them. If that''s "blabbing to the world" then I guess 100% of everyone else on the board is guilty of it too.
It says a lot when someone is obviously wrong, but just can''t admit it nor be mature enough to just apologize sincerely. And what''s worse, tries to turn the tables by attempting to *deflect* blame onto others with weak little jabs -- i.e. like calling them a blabber.
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TG, I can always count on you to crack me up.Date: 3/19/2007 11:53:55 PM
Author: TravelingGal
Date: 3/19/2007 11:49:34 PM
Author: Kaleigh
TG, get out of my head!!!
Sure...for a fee. Say...that nice diamond ring ya got on yer finger?
I really should get out of your head anyway...I gotta go pick up a dictionary to learn how to spell ''assassination.'' When one makes a snarky comment, one should always spell it correctly...hehehe. Too bad my fingers are faster than my English major brain................
lumpkin
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Wow.
Kristy, I did not find anything you said offensive.
Sometimes I think it gets personal for some people when we talk about our experiences with what we can afford, what those around us can afford, and what all of that symbolizes in terms of success, education, status, etc. On a forum like PS, surely we can agree that since we all come from diverse backgrounds luxury items like diamonds take on different values for many different reasons among us. Seems to me PS should be a "safe haven" to discuss such matters openly, and even be able to learn about ourselves from each other''s perspectives. It''s amazing how sometimes one person''s experiences push someone else''s buttons (has happened to me too once or twice).
Kristy, I did not find anything you said offensive.
Sometimes I think it gets personal for some people when we talk about our experiences with what we can afford, what those around us can afford, and what all of that symbolizes in terms of success, education, status, etc. On a forum like PS, surely we can agree that since we all come from diverse backgrounds luxury items like diamonds take on different values for many different reasons among us. Seems to me PS should be a "safe haven" to discuss such matters openly, and even be able to learn about ourselves from each other''s perspectives. It''s amazing how sometimes one person''s experiences push someone else''s buttons (has happened to me too once or twice).
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