When people twist your words

[kenny]

Something I've noticed on every board I visit is people twisting the words of others.
Disagreeing is fine.

Usually when people twist my words I just do not respond.
There is no point.

If a person will twist your words, any untwisting you attempt will just energize them to twist harder.
Some people just see conversations as a sport with a winner and a looser.

I try to see conversations as an opportunity to voice my opinion and hear the opinions of others and just leave differing opinions there on the table to coexist.
Few things outside stuff like mathematics and physics have one absolute truth anyway.

I'd rather just not respond and let my twisted words just sit there unchallenged and un"corrected".
People with a brain will see what happened and form their own opinion.

Also, it doesn't take long to learn who the word-twisters are.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Is this just a statement or are you looking for comments?

I think it''s natural for different people from different backgrounds/situations to interpret the written word and opinions differently. This could be because the writer isn''t good at verbalizing their feelings or opinions, or it could be because the reader doesn''t want to see the truth or reality in the writer''s words. Bottom line, it happens. It''s happened to me, it''s happened to you. I try not to correct people with exception of when someone misconstrues what I say I''m directly attacked as a result.

It''s hard to take online opinions at face value. The medium takes out any human emotion that could help in determining the tone behind a statement and the intentions of the person writing it (good or bad). Unfortunately emoticons only go so far in this regard and it''s more easy to read negative, sarcastic or cynical emotions in writing than it is to read positive emotions.

 

[meresal]

Date: 2/16/2010 2:42:58 PM
Author:kenny
Something I've noticed on every board I visit is people twisting the words of others.
Disagreeing is fine.

Usually when people twist my words I just do not respond.
There is no point.

If a person will twist your words, any untwisting you attempt will just energize them to twist harder.
Some people just see conversations as a sport with a winner and a looser.

I try to see conversations as an opportunity to voice my opinion and hear the opinions of others and just leave differing opinions there on the table to coexist.
Few things outside stuff like mathematics and physics have one absolute truth anyway.

I'd rather just not respond and let my twisted words just sit there unchallenged and un'corrected'.
People with a brain will see what happened and form their own opinion.

Also, it doesn't take long to learn who the word-twisters are.

Ohh, so now PS'ers don't have brains?!

 

[kenny]

Date: 2/16/2010 2:53:30 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
Is this just a statement or are you looking for comments?

Well, both.

 

[kenny]

meresal, you crack me up.

 

[janinegirly]

If you feel your words are often twisted, then perhaps it is the way you phrase things (phrases that start like "people with a brain..." for example) and not always these murky word twisters who are at fault. Just a thought. Of course HH also makes the great point that online postings can often be misinterpreted for obvious reasons and that it's happened to most of us.

Also not sure why you chose to start a thread to comment on how you do not comment.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

I heard kenny likes having his words twisted

i kid i kid!!

 

[kenny]

Date: 2/16/2010 2:56:09 PM
Author: Smurfyimproved
I heard kenny likes having his words twisted

i kid i kid!!

Okay lady. And WHAT''S wrong with kids.
You really sholdn''t HATE kids, you know.

 

[doodle]

Date: 2/16/2010 2:57:17 PM
Author: kenny

Okay lady. And WHAT''S wrong with kids.

You really sholdn''t HATE kids, you know.

I resent this. I have a stepson myself, but that doesn''t make me any less entitled to avoid the pesky little booger farmers to my heart''s content, thankyouverymuch. HARRUMPH!

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Date: 2/16/2010 2:55:17 PM
Author: janinegirly
If you feel your words are often twisted, then perhaps it is the way you phrase things (phrases that start like ''people with a brain...'' for example) and not always these murky word twisters who are at fault. Just a thought.


Also not sure why you chose to start a thread to comment on how you do not comment.

I agree with this, but not necessarily directed at Kenny. I think sometimes the way we phrase our words can naturally put people on the defensive and then they''re more likely to read into what you''re saying, trying to find an invisible jab or dig. However I also think sometimes the original writer is just plain sensitive and reads into what other people are saying in their responses to the original statement.

 

[kenny]

Date: 2/16/2010 2:55:17 PM
Author: janinegirly
If you feel your words are often twisted, then perhaps it is the way you phrase things (phrases that start like 'people with a brain...' for example) and not always these murky word twisters who are at fault. Just a thought.


Also not sure why you chose to start a thread to comment on how you do not comment.

Good point.
Clear unambiguous writing is important, and not easy.

I think this is a very legitimate subject for a thread.
Perhaps such a discussion will result people writing more clearly (myself included) and people asking for clarification instead of twisting.

My goal is to make PS a better place by improving how we all get along.

 

[doodle]

Date: 2/16/2010 2:59:26 PM
Author: kenny

Date: 2/16/2010 2:55:17 PM

Author: janinegirly

If you feel your words are often twisted, then perhaps it is the way you phrase things (phrases that start like ''people with a brain...'' for example) and not always these murky word twisters who are at fault. Just a thought.



Also not sure why you chose to start a thread to comment on how you do not comment.

Good point.

Clear writing is important and not easy.


I think this is a very legitimate subject for a thread.

Perhaps such a discussion will result people writing more clearly (myself included) and people asking for clarification instead of twisting.

Hmmm...maybe. I''m thinking though that people who are sensitive and read more than intended will continue to do so (only now offended because they''ll take this as having been personally attacked for being sensitive), and those who didn''t care enough to write clearly in the first place probably won''t change their entire style of communication just because some misconstrue it. Or maybe I''m just cynical. Doubt that comes as much of a surprise to those familiar with me though!

 

[meresal]

Date: 2/16/2010 2:59:23 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk

Date: 2/16/2010 2:55:17 PM
Author: janinegirly


If you feel your words are often twisted, then perhaps it is the way you phrase things (phrases that start like 'people with a brain...' for example) and not always these murky word twisters who are at fault. Just a thought.


Also not sure why you chose to start a thread to comment on how you do not comment.

I agree with this, but not necessarily directed at Kenny. I think sometimes the way we phrase our words can naturally put people on the defensive and then they're more likely to read into what you're saying, trying to find an invisible jab or dig. However I also think sometimes the original writer is just plain sensitive and reads into what other people are saying in their responses to the original statement.

When a poster is passionate about a subject, they are going to read posts on a basis of whether they are agreeable or disagreeable. The minute you recognize that a post is "disagreeing" with you or an interest of yours, people will search for attck points to argue back with. This usually results in word twisting, becuase you aren't responding to the entire post, only to the attack points that you took offense to.

That is just how some people are made up.

 

[elrohwen]

I think this bothers me more in real life than online. If I''m speaking to someone, IRL, who I feel knows me and should get the gist of what I''m saying, I find it annoying when they twist my words. Very occasionally DH will do this - we''ll actually agree about something, but he''ll keep taking what I say out of context and arguing about it as if I''m saying the opposite thing. Lucky for him he does this very very rarely

Online, I don''t expect people to know me or where I''m coming from, so it doesn''t bother me as much. I just assume I haven''t explained myself well enough.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

I think there are many different kinds of posters. Some write their posts in a word processing program, spell and grammar check it and make sure it''s perfect before posting. Others treat the boards like a general chat room and as a result, write on the fly and don''t particularly care about grammatical mistakes or other issues like how their post is worded.

HAHA, guess which group I belong to???

 

[meresal]

Date: 2/16/2010 3:08:15 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
I think there are many different kinds of posters. Some write their posts in a word processing program, spell and grammar check it and make sure it''s perfect before posting. Others treat the boards like a general chat room and as a result, write on the fly and don''t particularly care about grammatical mistakes or other issues like how their post is worded.

HAHA, guess which group I belong to???

Are you kidding me?

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

GAH! Where'd that duplicate post come from???

Meresal, yes these people are out there. I however am not one of them.

 

[MonkeyPie]

I find that only the people that are too sensitive to handle the twisting get offended when it happens, and start shouting, "You''re twisting my words, that isn''t what I said!"...when in fact, that IS what they said lol.

 

[kenny]

Another observation.

I think college Debating101 may be to blame for this very common occurrence, but sometimes people loosing an argument start to shift their energy from the topic to their opponent.
When I see this happening the legitimate conversation fades into the background and I lose interest.
Why can't people stay on topic and not get personal?
I mean, so what if your perspective does not prevail.

I think a lot of the trouble stems from not respecting ourselves or diversity.
Really, everyone has a different perspective and the premise that there is one absolute truth out there that applies to everyone is dangerous.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

Date: 2/16/2010 2:59:26 PM
Author: kenny

Date: 2/16/2010 2:55:17 PM

My goal is to make PS a better place by improving how we all get alone.

By sitting in a corner by ourselves? lol

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Date: 2/16/2010 3:11:27 PM
Author: kenny
Another observation.


I think college Debating101 may be to blame for this very common occurrence, but sometimes people loosing an argument start to shift their energy from the topic to their opponent.

When I see this happening the legitimate conversation fades into the background and I lose interest.

Why can''t people stay on topic and not get personal?

I mean, so what if your perspective does not prevail.


I think a lot of the trouble stems from not respecting ourselves or diversity.

Really, everyone has a different perspective and the premise that there is one absolute truth out there that applies to everyone is dangerous.

I agree, but I also think it''s natural for someone to grasp at anything for defense when they feel attacked.

But I also think people need to accept that certain things are FACTS and other things are OPINIONS and if they can''t accept these facts as facts then they need to do some further self reflection to get to the bottom of why they feel this way before they attack others for bringing the facts to their attention.

 

[kenny]

Thanks Smurf.
I fixed it.

 

[Smurfysmiles]

Date: 2/16/2010 3:17:50 PM
Author: kenny
Thanks Smurf.

I fixed it.

Lol I promise I''m done, just in one of those weird moods I guess

 

[jewelz617]

I don't see people's words getting twisted. If anything I see people posting volatile answers and getting spirited responses... kind of like implying that some people don't have a brain.

But I love that about talking to people I don't know. It makes for interesting and fun conversation even if there is no resolution.

 

[monarch64]

If I got along with everyone in life I think I''d be dead by now from exhaustion. Sorry.

 

[kenny]

I'm not calling out any individual.

It happens a zillion times a day.

 

[elrohwen]

Date: 2/16/2010 3:17:13 PM
Author: Hudson_Hawk
But I also think people need to accept that certain things are FACTS and other things are OPINIONS and if they can''t accept these facts as facts then they need to do some further self reflection to get to the bottom of why they feel this way before they attack others for bringing the facts to their attention.

Yes! I was just trying to think of a good way to say this.

I think sometimes there''s too much relativism - this thinking that everyone''s opinion is valid when sometimes one thing is wrong and one thing is right. Not everything in life is relative.

 

[elle_chris]

I don't know about twisted, but I have seen posts taken waaay out of context. Like to a whole new level.

I'll never forget the one lady who posted about how she hates her e-ring. Next thing I see is how she really has issues with her husband. Not once did she mention anything bad about him or their relationship, and yet- pages and pages of how she has marital problems.

Don't believe she ever posted again.

 

[kenny]

About fact vs. opinion...
My opinion (hahah) is that many of us consider lots of stuff to be fact when it is actually our opinion or agreements.

Agreements is a fascinating subject to me.

We agreed the world was flat till we agreed it was round, till we agreed it bulges in the middle, then we agreed that the moon causes tides to change that bulge, then we found out all planets being aligned could change that bulge a little more.
Yet every step of the way we did not consider it to be agreements.
We considered it to be fact.
We were sure.

We feel we know things, but what we base knowledge on is ever-progressing.
Perhaps it would be better to stay only 99.9% sure of what we "know" today.

 

[Hudson_Hawk]

Date: 2/16/2010 3:36:02 PM
Author: elle_chris

I don't know about twisted, but I have seen posts taken waaay out of context. Like to a whole new level.

I'll never forget the one lady who posted about how she hates her e-ring. Next thing I see is how she really has issues with her husband. Not once did she mention anything bad about him or their relationship, and yet- pages and pages of how she has marital problems.

Don't believe she ever posted again.

I think "we" as in the collective PS group, like to psychoanalyze people a lot. Yes, it's unfair, but we're only given so much information in a post and so it's natural to look for additional information that might have been left out on purpose. It's just as easy to post an idealized view of a situation in an effort to garner responses that validate your feelings as it is to read between the lines and take things out of context.