When thinking of you dream proposal

[misscuppycake]

Is it usually somewhere public where lots of people will clap and cheer (or not necessarily the applause and such, but just a place where many will see what''s going on)

Or do you often imagine a very secluded, private engagement?

And why?

 

[Junkenpo]

You know... I don''t have a dream proposal... my dream is the happiness that will follow.

That being said...as I think it over I know I don''t want a big public proposal...I think something private w/just the 2 of us, and then being able to cry (happy tears) and then call my folks and all my friends would just be the best.

 

[Independent Gal]

I never ever once ''dreamed'' of being proposed to. But I would have hated a public proposal. I''m not even sure I want to get married in front of other people, frankly.

 

[bubbly1126]

I guess I picture something private and secluded. I wouldn''t really mind a public proposal but of what I know of my SO, he most likely would not go that route. He''s more of a private, intimate guy.

 

[surfgirl]

I''m going to rain on this parade by saying that I think some women put way too much emphasis, and obsession almost, on "the perfect guy", the "perfect proposal", the "perfect ring", the "perfect wedding", then the "perfect house", the perfect job, perfect kids. Honestly? Proposing is usually overwhelming to a lot of guys and it''s the most money they''ve ever spent on a piece of jewelry no matter what the budget. So I say, relax and be more concerned about finding the right guy for you. Once you decide to marry, that really is the most important part. All the rest is just "social fluff", IMO...

 

[CrookedRock]

Sorry Surfgirl, But the Proposal is very important to me. It's really all I have to look forward and be surprised about. We have opted to skip the whole wedding thing and elope. I want the proposal to be so special and my BF of almost 8 years understands that. I will say that I am more excited about the rest of my life with him, but that doesn't or can't mean that the proposal isn't important...


As far as public proposals... not so much my thing. And def not over dinner as we go out to dinner far too much. Something private would be my choice. But I wouldn't complain if he flew a banner in the sky announcing it!...LOL!

 

[MissErin]

Well considering my ideal proposal would be in front of the Disneyland castle... I think it''s pretty obvious I don''t mind the public scene. But I used to want something a little bit smaller - I used to want a proposal at my church (which has 20 members) so it would have been somewhat intimate.

I think because I am looking into a wedding with a grand total of 8 people - the proposal would be a little more fun in a group setting. But that is just me.

I have found the perfect guy, so a wonderful proposal isn''t a big worry.

 

[surfgirl]

Date: 1/12/2008 8:16:59 PM
Author: CrookedRock
Sorry Surfgirl, But the Proposal is very important to me. It''s really all I have to look forward and be surprised about. We have opted to skip the whole wedding thing and elope. I want the proposal to be so special and my BF of almost 8 years understands that. I will say that I am more excited about the rest of my life with him, but that doesn''t or can''t mean that the proposal isn''t important...

Crooked Rock, why do you think eloping isn''t special? It sounds like you''re not totally happy with eloping? We eloped and had a mini wedding and it was incredibly romantic, special and very wonderful. Saying that all you have to look forward to is the proposal ''because'' you''re eloping - it saddens me to hear that. I hope you can make your elopement as special as any bigger wedding might be to another bride...

 

[designchica]

I would be mortified if it were in front of a ton of people and would probably break into hives from embarassment. Definitely a private and intimate proposal for me but with that being said, even if it were in public, I'd be thrilled and filled with happiness that he asked. I'd probably still break into hives but I'd be happy.

 

[Deelight]

My dream proposal is the one I know my BF will spend tons of time working on I have complete faith in him

I figure as long as he gets down on one knee and asks me to be his future wifey I am all good with the other details: oh with the exception of if he proposed to me on TV I would say no on principle which he wouldn''t so we are all good

NO offence to anyone that has ever had a TV proposal but it is not for me

 

[chocolatefudge]

Sorry surfgirl but I think the proposal IS important. I''m not saying the guy should stress himself into the ground or anything but it should be something thought about and special. I would be a bit sad if my bf proposed in a restaurant infront of loads of poeple because he knows I''d hate that, however, a small, intimate proposal would be far more special. And in my opinion that would be perfect! I''ve read loads of really nice proposal stories with women being flown to another country, treasure hunts and all manner of other things, however, I''ve also read about the ''smaller'' proposals where the guy has made a little love book of their time together or taken his gf back to their first date location. I''m sure these proposals were perfect for the women on the other end.

All I''m trying to say is that as long as my bf put in a little thought it would be perfect for me So I suppose ''perfect'' is really what you make it! And, like I said, I think the proposal is special, it''s something I''ve been waiting for for years and I''d like to know that he had put thought into it.

 

[Deelight]

I do have to also agree with Surfgirl in terms of the wanting the "perfect proposal" (perfect lives etc) so many girls get really hyped up with all these things that their partners should do for them in their quest for their hand in marriage they miss the main point, or get bitterly disappointed when it is not 100% perfect to their specifications, or is not as good as so and so''s etc. Don''t get me wrong I am all for a romantic proposal and some of the most nicest and awww ones I have heard have been the most simple and carefree ones that centre on what it is all about.


Most guys put masses of effort into their spiel but they may not get it 100% perfect in the end all that matters is that you both live happily ever after

 

[honey22]

I am probably going to horrify some ladies out there but I told my man the other day that I wouldn''t care if he wrote his proposal on a piece of dunny paper - it''s the words and the significance behind them that mean more than the ''perfect'' event-coordinated production. I am not saying that making an effort is wrong, just for me I don''t mind as long as we are both there! I def wouldn''t want a proposal in front of family and friends, I would want it to be more private, somewhere I could have a little cry. Maybe even a very quiet restaurant, a table out of the way and wait staff that are clued in to give some privacy and have bubbly on hand, but nothing where I would have lots of people gauging my reaction. My best friend was saying only yesterday at her Hens Day that when her partner proposed at a winery in front of massive windows with the whole restaurant watching, she was so embarassed she told him yes, and to quickly get up and stop embarassing her. The restaurant was quite subdued when the both walking in for lunch afterwards as they weren''t sure what her answer was.

 

[INdmbLove]

We''re both somewhat private people- so a public engagement would just wouldn''t feel natural for us. I have told him I wouldn''t mind if it were OUT in public- but I don''t necessarily want a bunch of people taking part/paying attention to what is going on.

I have no idea what is in store for me- but looking at our past- I would guess it will be something funny/frustrating. He LOVES to make me sweat a little... I hope that there is a good dose of romance thrown in there also- although he''s not really the type!

 

[Octavia]

I never really dreamed of my proposal, but my FI did a great job -- at home, just the two of us, and a complete, absolute surprise. The only thing that makes me a little sad is that we won''t live here forever, so we won''t be able to be sappy and romantic and go back to the place it happened year after year...but our first kiss was in a beautiful little park so that''s our sappy romantic place

 

[surfgirl]

Date: 1/13/2008 5:16:31 AM
Author: chocolatefudge
Sorry surfgirl but I think the proposal IS important. I''m not saying the guy should stress himself into the ground or anything but it should be something thought about and special. I would be a bit sad if my bf proposed in a restaurant infront of loads of poeple because he knows I''d hate that, however, a small, intimate proposal would be far more special. And in my opinion that would be perfect! I''ve read loads of really nice proposal stories with women being flown to another country, treasure hunts and all manner of other things, however, I''ve also read about the ''smaller'' proposals where the guy has made a little love book of their time together or taken his gf back to their first date location. I''m sure these proposals were perfect for the women on the other end.


All I''m trying to say is that as long as my bf put in a little thought it would be perfect for me So I suppose ''perfect'' is really what you make it! And, like I said, I think the proposal is special, it''s something I''ve been waiting for for years and I''d like to know that he had put thought into it.

So you dont think him thinking about, and coming to the realization that he wants to marry you is enough "thought"? You want him to make a show of it? I''m not sure I''m following you on this. Let''s say you''re sitting on the couch one evening watching TV and suddenly, your BF blurts out a proposal...Are you saying that you would be disappointed in that because he didn''t take you to dinner, or make you a memory book or whatever? I''m just trying to understand your post.

 

[sunnyd]

I hear ya surf. It shouldn''t matter how it happens, it''s the fact that he''s asking to spend the rest of your lives together that''s important! Setting up the idea of the ''dream proposal'' only sets you up for a letdown, IMO.

Though having said that, I''m sure that it''ll be private, though I wouldn''t mind public, because I''m an attention ho. Hahahaha!

 

[orangemonster]

Hi Ladies,
I am going to give you the perspective of a gal who''s been married almost 4 years. When I was younger I used to have it in my head that I wanted a proposal with all the bells and whistles! When it actually happened it was not what I pictured but was everything I wanted / needed. It was the love of my life asking me to spend my life with him. I know we all want things the way we picture in our heads but to think someone else will get it ''exactly'' right is building yourself up for disappointment. I do agree, the proposal IS important... from the standpoint that it is two people deciding to come together and share a life.

Trust me, down the road, you will not remember the color of the napkin in the perfect restaurant or that there were exactly 12 roses in the bouquet he presented on one knee. What you will remember is that you love this man to pieces and want to live with him the rest of your life. As you go through the years, sometimes you want to murder him and other times you can''t believe how lucky you are that you married him. What you will have is a relationship that will continue to change and develop over time as long as you nurture it and allow each other to grow. I cherish the day my hubby proposed... it is the day we began our journey together.

 

[ringster]

I never dreamt of proposal and my guy is not the showy kind. When he proposed it was very him and I admit to a twinge of disappointment at first but I knew that he was very excited that we had decided to get married and that were going to be engaged. I also knew that he wanted to propose and that it was important for him to do so before we were "officially" engaged. So it wasn't a grand one, it was a simple and private proposal that I hold dear together with our discussion and agreement on future plans. I think it helps to look at it in the big picture - proposal is part of your whole engagement experience - and I look at it as a type of formality. Coming to the realization and agreement that you both want to build a life together is really the most important aspect.

 

[CrookedRock]

Date: 1/12/2008 9:30:24 PM
Author: surfgirl

Date: 1/12/2008 8:16:59 PM
Author: CrookedRock
Sorry Surfgirl, But the Proposal is very important to me. It''s really all I have to look forward and be surprised about. We have opted to skip the whole wedding thing and elope. I want the proposal to be so special and my BF of almost 8 years understands that. I will say that I am more excited about the rest of my life with him, but that doesn''t or can''t mean that the proposal isn''t important...

Crooked Rock, why do you think eloping isn''t special? It sounds like you''re not totally happy with eloping? We eloped and had a mini wedding and it was incredibly romantic, special and very wonderful. Saying that all you have to look forward to is the proposal ''because'' you''re eloping - it saddens me to hear that. I hope you can make your elopement as special as any bigger wedding might be to another bride...

Oh my Gosh! NOO... I am so excited about eloping! I have always wanted that, and can''t wait for it. I guess I always just saw myself as different bc, for example, my sis is one of those girls who started a wedding ideas book when she was 13. I have always wanted to run away and elpoe. So for me, the thing I always dreamed about was the proposal, not the wedding. My sis thinks I''m nuts, but I say to each their own. I want the weding day to be all about us, and not about pleasing 200 guests, so I am thrilled with my decision, and even more excited that he wants the same thing.
I personally feel like a wedding is really only between the 2 getting married, why the need for everyone to sit and watch? We have amazing plans to elope. Lake Como, Italy!! We will do a party, but it will be considered an engagement party and that will be it. Then we are going to do a month in Africa as a Honeymoon. So, obvi I am excited, who wouldn''t be?

Having said all that. The proposal is still very important to me...LOL

 

[musey]

I had more concern about him not doing specific things... in that I didn't want it to be public, or a "cookie-cutter" proposal that any guy could have used for any girlfriend. I just wanted it to be private, simple, and "us." He had a whole plan that was very unique and "us," but threw it out the window early one morning... just because it felt like the right time.

Knowing that he felt moved to propose meant more than him following through with a special plan he had concocted. Besides, that way I got the spontaneous proposal but still got to hear the story of the plan that he couldn't hold out long enough for

 

[chocolatefudge]

Hi surfgirl, I''ve just read your post and your example. What I was saying was that ''perfect'' is different to each individual, so maybe your couch proposal would be perfect to someone. If I''m being honest, then no, that wouldn''t be MY ideal proposal, however, I''m not saying that it wouldn''t make some girl really happy.

What I was trying to say in my original post is that I do think that the proposal is important and I would like to think that my boyfriend had thought of something special to me, no matter how small. Just the fact that he chose to do it privately rather than infront of a load of people would please me because it would be something I could look back on with happy memories and know that my boyfriend really KNOWS me.

I hope this is making sense because I''m confusing myself now.......

 

[CrookedRock]

Date: 1/13/2008 1:37:22 PM
Author: surfgirl

So you dont think him thinking about, and coming to the realization that he wants to marry you is enough ''thought''? You want him to make a show of it? I''m not sure I''m following you on this. Let''s say you''re sitting on the couch one evening watching TV and suddenly, your BF blurts out a proposal...Are you saying that you would be disappointed in that because he didn''t take you to dinner, or make you a memory book or whatever? I''m just trying to understand your post.

Heck yah I would be dissapointed! More like pissed! Just blurting it out while watching Wedding Crashers is not ok in my book! For those of us who have waited for this moment, we would like some thought to be put into this! Now if I came home and the house was covered in rose petals and lit candles, and he put time and effort into it, thay would be a whole different story! My bf is pretty creative. He did surprise me with a trip to Argentina for my BDay, so I know he is capable of something amazing!

 

[Smurfysmiles]

off topic question- what is dunny paper? lol is that like toilet paper?

 

[musey]

Date: 1/13/2008 3:16:18 PM
Author: CrookedRock

Date: 1/13/2008 1:37:22 PM
Author: surfgirl

So you dont think him thinking about, and coming to the realization that he wants to marry you is enough 'thought'? You want him to make a show of it? I'm not sure I'm following you on this. Let's say you're sitting on the couch one evening watching TV and suddenly, your BF blurts out a proposal...Are you saying that you would be disappointed in that because he didn't take you to dinner, or make you a memory book or whatever? I'm just trying to understand your post.

Heck yah I would be dissapointed! More like pissed! Just blurting it out while watching Wedding Crashers is not ok in my book! For those of us who have waited for this moment, we would like some thought to be put into this! Now if I came home and the house was covered in rose petals and lit candles, and he put time and effort into it, thay would be a whole different story! My bf is pretty creative. He did surprise me with a trip to Argentina for my BDay, so I know he is capable of something amazing!

CR, that may be true for you, but I do hope you don't think you're speaking for everyone who "waited for [that] moment." A majority of women "wait for the moment" they're proposed to, looking forward to the experience.

I know that I "waited for that moment." My FI's proposal was spontaneous, not planned or thought out. I wasn't "disappointed" or "pissed off"... I was over-the-moon! It was the happiest and most romantic moment of my life to that point. Not because he spent time planning and executing some elaborate plan, but because (like I said before) he was moved to propose by just watching me sleep. For me, the proposal was not about him impressing me with his best "show." I didn't/don't need bells and whistles... for our relationship, that would have been cliché and false. His honest and heartfelt proposal told me that all we needed was us... not flowers, expensive dinners, surprise weekends away... just us.


If that's what YOU want and need, that is fine and you are more than entitled. But I don't think it's fair to suggest that those of us who don't need the elaborate show were looking forward to (or enjoyed) our proposal any less.

 

[surfgirl]

musey, you said that way better than I could have! I couldn't agree more. I waited a VERY VERY long time, and the fact that my husband chose to ask me to be his wife while I was in my pajamas, before having my morning coffee (because he thinks I look so cute when I'm still sleepy, and how can you not love a guy that thinks like that?!)..well, let's just say that I never imagined my marriage proposal looking like that, but him whispering his proposal in my ear, early in the morning, because he was just moved to ask at that moment, well, that was perfect for me. I was just so thrilled that he was ready and wanted what I wanted - to be together for the rest of our lives. So yeah, "waiting" is subjective. And not everyone who waits, is expecting a big show of it. It's the thought that counts, not the movie-like proposal. The whole reason I originally posted what I did was because there are girls/women here who, IMO, expect way too much and often, I feel like they think everything should be like it is in the movies and in real life, the moments that are most precious are very often not the big showy ones, but rather, the intimate, heartfelt, spur of the moment "just because" moments.

 

[musey]

Date: 1/13/2008 9:58:28 PM
Author: surfgirl

The whole reason I originally posted what I did was because there are girls/women here who, IMO, expect way too much and often, I feel like they think everything should be like it is in the movies and in real life, the moments that are most precious are very often not the big showy ones, but rather, the intimate, heartfelt, spur of the moment ''just because'' moments.

Totally agree

 

[TravelingGal]

It''s OK to dream...as long as you know and understand that dreams may not become reality and be OK with that.

I think everyone has a "dream" proposal. Some dream big, some dream small. Even surfgirl said, it wasn''t the way she "imagined". I think all women who have a proposal imminent "dream" of what it may be llke. That doesn''t necessarily equate to a perfect proposal that is rigid in its definition. It may just mean the small things...like having something private vs something more showy.

I do agree that if some women really have in mind what it should be like and are placing demands on their men on how it should be down to the details, perhaps they should plan their own proposal. But there is nothing wrong with saying, I hope it''s an intimate thing, or at a certain place, or not an intimate thing, or not at a certain place, etc. As long as in the end, however it''s done, they know that the most important thing is that someone wants to be with you for the rest of their lives.

 

[Haven]

I have to agree with Surfgirl that some women put far too much emphasis on the perfect proposal/guy/ring/wedding/etc, but I'd say it's only too much when these "perfect" things become more important than the relationship (and marriage) itself.

That being said, I did do a bit of dreaming about the proposal before it happened. While I had some ideas about how I'd prefer it to happen (private, something uniquely "us"), I was more excited about hearing him say whatever he chose to say to propose marriage to me. To be honest, I was REALLY excited to hear him propose, I couldn't imagine what he would say and how he would say it, but I was so very excited to hear it.

I don't personally agree with the idea that he has to spend a lot of time planning and setting up the proposal in order for it to not be disappointing. The fact that he spent all that time thinking about marriage and our future is more than enough for me, and certainly the most important part in my mind.

For the record, my FI's proposal was incredibly special, it was private and uniquely us, and I got to hear those words I had been waiting for. And those words, well, they were definitely "perfect". I would have never been able to dream up something so special.

 

[sunnyd]

style="WIDTH: 99%; HEIGHT: 26px">I do agree that if some women really have in mind what it should be like and are placing demands on their men on how it should be down to the details, perhaps they should plan their own proposal. But there is nothing wrong with saying, I hope it''s an intimate thing, or at a certain place, or not an intimate thing, or not at a certain place, etc. As long as in the end, however it''s done, they know that the most important thing is that someone wants to be with you for the rest of their lives.

There was a thread written by a guy in the Proposal forum talking about how dejected and sad he felt when his GF demanded that he redo his proposal because it wasn''t up to her standards...I''m sure this isn''t the case for anybody here, but just wanted to point that out. Poor guy.