Skippy123
Super_Ideal_Rock
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When thinking of you dream proposal
- Thread starter misscuppycake
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aliciagirl
Shiny_Rock
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- Nov 9, 2007
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Hahaha. That''s exactly what my reaction would be if I got some big showy production. My guy is super shy and much prefers staying in or it just being the two of us. I can''t imagine my proposal any other way. And not because it wouldn''t be acceptable if it was in public or some big to do, but it simply wouldn''t happen and that''s perfectly okay with me.
I agree with the other about it being what it comfortable for you, for your guy, and in the relationship. Some people are super social and would love to have their friends around - that''s great. And some have guys that are very spontaneous with sneaky planning and perfect plans - that''s great. But having a proposal in your PJs/over a cup of coffee/in front of the TV is just as acceptable and certainly not any less great than doing it any other way.
My dream proposal? He asks without fainting. The poor guy gets so nervous at the thought of it, it''s terrible. I''ve told him a million times I''m not expecting a production and if he doesn''t want to say anything he doesn''t have to. He keeps telling me that he can''t "propose" without saying anything.
absolut_blonde
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2008
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Add me to the list of people who want a private proposal! Just me and him. Nobody else. And certainly NOT in public (for example, at a hockey game-- I''d want to hide under my seat). If a guy were to do that, I''d know he didn''t really know me at all.
I heard a radio host on Sirius mention that she was proposed to in the bathtub. I thought that was really cute. Maybe because I''m obsessed with my jaccuzi and have baths just about every night! But basically, I want something that''s really ''us'' and one-on-one. I''d also really, really love a proposal around Christmastime, by a lit up tree and the fireplace... but I''m sure I''ll be thrilled with whatever happens when that time comes.
(Oh and this is my first post on here ever so... hi!)
I heard a radio host on Sirius mention that she was proposed to in the bathtub. I thought that was really cute. Maybe because I''m obsessed with my jaccuzi and have baths just about every night! But basically, I want something that''s really ''us'' and one-on-one. I''d also really, really love a proposal around Christmastime, by a lit up tree and the fireplace... but I''m sure I''ll be thrilled with whatever happens when that time comes.
(Oh and this is my first post on here ever so... hi!)
Mannequin
Brilliant_Rock
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- Mar 16, 2006
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I''ve already had the "propose over dessert at the fancy restaurant while the hostess hides around the corner and snaps photos" scenario. It was very sweet, even though the relationship didn''t last. I''ve told my BF that he can do whatever he wants for the proposal he wants to make for me, and I''ve told him that I would prefer not to do the restaurant thing again. He basically has two options: 1)over-analyze the whole proposal to bits and try to come up with the most amazing knock-my-socks off production ever, or 2)go simple and private and meaningful. I''d much prefer #2, and I''ve told him that. The proposal plan is more stress-inducing for him than the thought of buying an engagement ring, he has said, so I am not making any wild demands on him. The only thing I have asked him to do is to ask my parents'' blessing before he puts his plan in motion, as they will likely end up wanting to help pay for much of the wedding.
Re: the other posts on this thread debating the perfect proposal - All I can say is "to each his own." Different things will make all of us happy as individuals, and this includes proposals. I say as long as you know what expectations are reasonable to make of your guy, then you are free to dream away - from cozy and personal hot cocoa and smores in front of a campfire to a hot air balloon extravaganza over the rooftops of Paris.
Re: the other posts on this thread debating the perfect proposal - All I can say is "to each his own." Different things will make all of us happy as individuals, and this includes proposals. I say as long as you know what expectations are reasonable to make of your guy, then you are free to dream away - from cozy and personal hot cocoa and smores in front of a campfire to a hot air balloon extravaganza over the rooftops of Paris.
FrekeChild
Super_Ideal_Rock
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You know, I''ve been trying to think up my perfect proposal and can only come up with two things:
1. I don''t want it to have anything to do with food. (Although celebrating with a creme brulee would be awesome!)
2. I don''t want to have any idea it''s coming. I want it to be a total surprise.
Frankly, waking up with the ring on my left ring finger would be almost ideal, because I would never see it coming. And he''d probably have fun waiting to see when I''ll finally figure it out. But I doubt he would do it that way.
Other than that, I don''t give a D4MN!
1. I don''t want it to have anything to do with food. (Although celebrating with a creme brulee would be awesome!)
2. I don''t want to have any idea it''s coming. I want it to be a total surprise.
Other than that, I don''t give a D4MN!
misscuppycake
Shiny_Rock
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chocolatefudge
Shiny_Rock
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Just read through all the replies with interest. It does seem that my earlier comments may not have been read the way that they were intended and this is probably because when I have been quoted it''s been done very cleverly so as to miss off the end of my comments and make me look like a demon....... Ha ha!!
I''m trying to think of the most simple way to try and explain what I want to say, so here goes:
So yeah, it''s totally fine (chocolatefudge, crookedrock, etc.) for you to want and NEED that orchestrated proposal
For a thoroughly orchestrated proposal, the thought process is presumably something like "My lady deserves the best, I need to plan this thing to the last detail to show her how important she is to me." For the type of proposal I got, the thought process was more like "I can''t wait anymore, I have to be engaged to her RIGHT NOW."
Now the thing is with these comments, I never said I wanted an ''orchestrated proposal'' or a ''song and dance.'' My ideal proposal would be somewhere with just me and my boyfriend (maybe by the sea) and us sitting and talking and then him proposing to me. Noone else there, just us.
What I''ve gathered through reading the posts so far is that a lot of people feel that they need to justify their relationships from their proposal. I never judged your proposals!! I simply said I wouldn''t want it to happen that way for me, if it did, I would probably be so excited to be proposed to it wouldn''t matter BUT the original question was about dream proposals, and at home wouldn''t be mine.
The quotes above show that many poeple have completely taken my comments the wrong way and turned me into a big attention seeking bride to be who wants the whole world and his dog a t the proposal, and my poor boyfriend having a heart attack throught he stress of it all!! Ha ha, that''s making me laugh now actually......
I''m trying to think of the most simple way to try and explain what I want to say, so here goes:
- Everyone will want/expect something different from their proposal
- There is no right/wrong way and each to their own
- I would NOT want a big public "show" proposal as many have added that I do in their replies
I am positive that every person on here was thrilled with their proposal and I wasn''t trying to say that proposals at home needed defending. However, some of them have sounded defensive!! Posts such as…..
If you''re ready to spend your life with someone, you don''t need a song and dance or some extravagent thing that will always remind you of it -
So yeah, it''s totally fine (chocolatefudge, crookedrock, etc.) for you to want and NEED that orchestrated proposal
For a thoroughly orchestrated proposal, the thought process is presumably something like "My lady deserves the best, I need to plan this thing to the last detail to show her how important she is to me." For the type of proposal I got, the thought process was more like "I can''t wait anymore, I have to be engaged to her RIGHT NOW."
Now the thing is with these comments, I never said I wanted an ''orchestrated proposal'' or a ''song and dance.'' My ideal proposal would be somewhere with just me and my boyfriend (maybe by the sea) and us sitting and talking and then him proposing to me. Noone else there, just us.
What I''ve gathered through reading the posts so far is that a lot of people feel that they need to justify their relationships from their proposal. I never judged your proposals!! I simply said I wouldn''t want it to happen that way for me, if it did, I would probably be so excited to be proposed to it wouldn''t matter BUT the original question was about dream proposals, and at home wouldn''t be mine.
The quotes above show that many poeple have completely taken my comments the wrong way and turned me into a big attention seeking bride to be who wants the whole world and his dog a t the proposal, and my poor boyfriend having a heart attack throught he stress of it all!! Ha ha, that''s making me laugh now actually......
CrookedRock
Brilliant_Rock
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- May 8, 2007
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Musey... Please let me clarify! I fell like all I do on these boards these days is defend myself, but here it goes again!
I PERSONALLY would not like my proposal to be Blurted out while we are watching Grey''s Anatomy (which we do every Thursday). That just isn''t him or me or us. Yes, as far as WE are concearned, that would not be a good proposal for us. BC I know how thoughtful and creative he is I would see that as thoughtless. And I can guarantee that something like this is not his plan. Something like cooking me breakfast in bed and bringing me a glass of champange to make mimosas with and having the ring in the glass, now that''s sweet, and something I would love. Not really showy, right? I love the idea of it being a private thing, and I can assure you that it will be. As I may have been the girl at one point who danced on tables in clubs, he certainly was not. He is far more reserved than myself!
I even had this convo with him last night...Ironic... Things with our jeweler have gotten all messed up (long story, maybe another post), but I know that a proposal is right around the corner.I explaind to him that it isn''t about the ring, it is about him saying those magic words to me, and he understands, and is excited too. (But he wants the ring when he does it) I surely hope that I will be able to share the excitement with all of you without my proposal story being scrutinized. We all have different stories and different tastes. ANd I have always respected that on these boards. I don''t appreciate the implication that I am not ready for marriage bc one proposal idea isn''t at all what I pictured. The purpose of this thread was to tell about your dream proposal and whether or not you weanted it private or public. I will say again. Private is more us, and I am sure that is what he will do, but with his type of thought put into it. (He has had almost 8 years to think of something...LOL)And bc it is MY proposal I am sure it will be nothing less than perfect! And I really would like to be able to share it with all of you...
I PERSONALLY would not like my proposal to be Blurted out while we are watching Grey''s Anatomy (which we do every Thursday). That just isn''t him or me or us. Yes, as far as WE are concearned, that would not be a good proposal for us. BC I know how thoughtful and creative he is I would see that as thoughtless. And I can guarantee that something like this is not his plan. Something like cooking me breakfast in bed and bringing me a glass of champange to make mimosas with and having the ring in the glass, now that''s sweet, and something I would love. Not really showy, right? I love the idea of it being a private thing, and I can assure you that it will be. As I may have been the girl at one point who danced on tables in clubs, he certainly was not. He is far more reserved than myself!
I even had this convo with him last night...Ironic... Things with our jeweler have gotten all messed up (long story, maybe another post), but I know that a proposal is right around the corner.I explaind to him that it isn''t about the ring, it is about him saying those magic words to me, and he understands, and is excited too. (But he wants the ring when he does it) I surely hope that I will be able to share the excitement with all of you without my proposal story being scrutinized. We all have different stories and different tastes. ANd I have always respected that on these boards. I don''t appreciate the implication that I am not ready for marriage bc one proposal idea isn''t at all what I pictured. The purpose of this thread was to tell about your dream proposal and whether or not you weanted it private or public. I will say again. Private is more us, and I am sure that is what he will do, but with his type of thought put into it. (He has had almost 8 years to think of something...LOL)And bc it is MY proposal I am sure it will be nothing less than perfect! And I really would like to be able to share it with all of you...
sandia_rose
Shiny_Rock
- Joined
- Nov 20, 2007
- Messages
- 314
This is me, to a point. I don''t dream about my wedding so much as I do about the rest of my life.
Then again, I was married once before. My first wedding was an over-the-top spectacle that made me uncomfortable and not happy (my ex''s family has money and wants to make sure everyone knows it -- I''m a blue collar biker/hippie girl who would have been happy with a pig roast). So if I dream about marrying my current boyfriend -- who is a blue collar guy -- I imagine the pig roast with all of our friends, their kids, dogs, bikes, a bonfire, etc. -- because that would make us BOTH happy.
The proposal is a different story. I didn''t get a proposal from my ex and badly wanted one. And it was discussed beforehand. We''d already had a child together and people around us started asking the "When are you getting married?" question as soon as I started to show. He "proposed" to me when our son was a few months old --- by basically forcing me to pick out my own ring and then doing a version of "Here ya go! Happy now?" He got tired of people asking and his family pressuring him, so it was more about shutting people up than it was about me/us. 20/20 hindsight, I should have tossed him and the ring out the door then as opposed to marrying him and then leaving 4 years later (because the way he did it was the virtual form of flipping me the bird).....but we live and learn, right? That relationship taught me a lot about myself, what I want out of life and what I will and will not accept as far as treatment from a man and other people.....
If my boyfriend proposed to me (and I reallyreallyreallyREALLY am waiting - because he is the man I should have met when I was younger...he''s amazing!), I would like something well-thought out and public, but not over-the-top. The funny thing about my boyfriend is that even though he''s had a band for 20+ years and is used to being in front of tons of people, offstage, he''s a private kind of guy. He''s not big into huge displays of anything. But I like surprises and also like to have an excuse to have a party/celebrate. So, I''d be happy with a proposal at a restaurant, or at a pre-arranged party with our friends, or even if he did something onstage during one of his shows.
My Dream (if I had to describe it):
There is a really cool restaurant/club not far from us called Black Eyed Sally''s (see: http://www.blackeyedsallys.com). It''s like a Southern juke joint inside, and they serve Southern/Cajun food and have great blues and jazz bands. It''s a small place, but not real small. There is small dance floor, and no matter who is playing, people dance. Friends and family would be scattered throughout the restaurant (but I would not know this). The band playing would be one that I love, and that my boyfriend has known as musicians/jam buddies for years (see: http://www.michaelclearyband.com/music.htm). We''d have dinner and dance, and then he''d propose. Our friends would come out of the woodwork, maybe the band would make some type of announcement, my boyfriend might get up there with them (as he is apt to do/gets invited to) and sing a few tunes (I''m picturing a cover of Take Me To The River, which is my absolute favorite song, and which this band does particularly well and my boyfriend knows by heart), and we''d party until the place sent us home.
Bridget in Connecticut.
MissErin
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- Dec 6, 2007
- Messages
- 538
I can''t agree more with you CrookedRock. Thank you for saying what I am honestly to nervous to write becaue of what may come after.Date: 1/15/2008 9:05:11 AM
Author: CrookedRock
Musey... Please let me clarify! I fell like all I do on these boards these days is defend myself, but here it goes again!
I PERSONALLY would not like my proposal to be Blurted out while we are watching Grey''s Anatomy (which we do every Thursday). That just isn''t him or me or us. Yes, as far as WE are concearned, that would not be a good proposal for us. BC I know how thoughtful and creative he is I would see that as thoughtless. And I can guarantee that something like this is not his plan. Something like cooking me breakfast in bed and bringing me a glass of champange to make mimosas with and having the ring in the glass, now that''s sweet, and something I would love. Not really showy, right? I love the idea of it being a private thing, and I can assure you that it will be. As I may have been the girl at one point who danced on tables in clubs, he certainly was not. He is far more reserved than myself!
I even had this convo with him last night...Ironic... Things with our jeweler have gotten all messed up (long story, maybe another post), but I know that a proposal is right around the corner.I explaind to him that it isn''t about the ring, it is about him saying those magic words to me, and he understands, and is excited too. (But he wants the ring when he does it) I surely hope that I will be able to share the excitement with all of you without my proposal story being scrutinized. We all have different stories and different tastes. ANd I have always respected that on these boards. I don''t appreciate the implication that I am not ready for marriage bc one proposal idea isn''t at all what I pictured. The purpose of this thread was to tell about your dream proposal and whether or not you weanted it private or public. I will say again. Private is more us, and I am sure that is what he will do, but with his type of thought put into it. (He has had almost 8 years to think of something...LOL)And bc it is MY proposal I am sure it will be nothing less than perfect! And I really would like to be able to share it with all of you...
surfgirl
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Apr 5, 2007
- Messages
- 4,438
Chocolate, I don't think anyone has or is "misrepresenting" you to further an agenda for goodness sakes! Seriously. Just because some people do not agree with your points doesn't mean we're all in on some weird conspiracy. And to be honest, not every post/reply centers around you and your posts. Unless someone directly mentioned you with a quote that you either did or did not say, then please dont assume all posts are directed at you. The comments that musey and others have made come from being around this board for quite a long time and having seen in the past their fair share of posts here saying "I want my proposal to be this or that or I'll be upset!" or, "I hate my proposal...blah blah blah..." So when this topic comes up, it is natural for those with either direct experience, or who've already lived through the proposal phase or who've read or know of ladies who got way too caught up in how the proposal was presented and were then disappointed, well, then they are free to speak up and share their experiences and/or viewpoints on the topic.
What you, and Crooked seem to be missing in what people have said here is simply that it's fine to think about one's proposal but if you get SO caught up in HOW the proposal is presented - and what your expectations are - then you may be very upset or disappointed in your proposal not living up to the hype in your own head. And that? Would be really really sad...To not enjoy or relish one's proposal simply because you wanted it this way or that way, is sort of missing the whole point of becoming engaged, in our opinion. THAT'S what people are saying. Plain and simple. And they've given some concrete examples of how a simple proposal can be just as wonderful as a fancy one. They've shared those stories with you because your posts seem to infer that you will indeed be disappointed if your bf doesn't propose in a certain way.
And just for the record, nothing said here (that has been in opposition to your viewpoints) has been said with any malice or bitchiness, despite the fact that you've inferred that the ladies who have had simpler proposals are somehow jealous of others (which is pretty offensive, if we're being honest). Anything said on this thread or similar threads is said because a person(s) sees something that might be a problem that they've either dealt with themselves, or with friends or we've seen on here before.
As for being afraid to share your thoughts, experiences, etc. This is a forum made up of adults. And as such, while people try to be cordial and polite, we're also an honest bunch for the most part and we dont blow smoke up each others party dresses. If you ask for opinions or open a topic for discussion, you'll get all viewpoints and you have to be prepared to deal with that. Just as in real life, you're not always going to be surrounded by people who agree with you all the time.
And now, since people are complaining that this convo veered off topic, I'll play by saying that my perfect proposal involves the man I wanted to spend my life with, asking me to be his wife. Anywhere, anytime, any way. For me, it was/is all about the words and that's all.
ETA: I look forward to hearing about your actual proposals when they do happen. And I hope you will not be disappointed in any way...which is the whole point of where this discussion went in the first place.
What you, and Crooked seem to be missing in what people have said here is simply that it's fine to think about one's proposal but if you get SO caught up in HOW the proposal is presented - and what your expectations are - then you may be very upset or disappointed in your proposal not living up to the hype in your own head. And that? Would be really really sad...To not enjoy or relish one's proposal simply because you wanted it this way or that way, is sort of missing the whole point of becoming engaged, in our opinion. THAT'S what people are saying. Plain and simple. And they've given some concrete examples of how a simple proposal can be just as wonderful as a fancy one. They've shared those stories with you because your posts seem to infer that you will indeed be disappointed if your bf doesn't propose in a certain way.
And just for the record, nothing said here (that has been in opposition to your viewpoints) has been said with any malice or bitchiness, despite the fact that you've inferred that the ladies who have had simpler proposals are somehow jealous of others (which is pretty offensive, if we're being honest). Anything said on this thread or similar threads is said because a person(s) sees something that might be a problem that they've either dealt with themselves, or with friends or we've seen on here before.
As for being afraid to share your thoughts, experiences, etc. This is a forum made up of adults. And as such, while people try to be cordial and polite, we're also an honest bunch for the most part and we dont blow smoke up each others party dresses. If you ask for opinions or open a topic for discussion, you'll get all viewpoints and you have to be prepared to deal with that. Just as in real life, you're not always going to be surrounded by people who agree with you all the time.
And now, since people are complaining that this convo veered off topic, I'll play by saying that my perfect proposal involves the man I wanted to spend my life with, asking me to be his wife. Anywhere, anytime, any way. For me, it was/is all about the words and that's all.
ETA: I look forward to hearing about your actual proposals when they do happen. And I hope you will not be disappointed in any way...which is the whole point of where this discussion went in the first place.
TravelingGal
Super_Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Dec 29, 2004
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- 17,193
Chill pills and cranky pills all around folks...
Surfgirl, I do agree with you in your viewpoints. However, in defense of the OPs question, she merely asked what people dream about when it comes to their proposals. I really think that is a valid question and one that lots of LIWs think about and may like to share. We didn''t get more than 3 posts in (all of whom seemed to simply say "I''d like a private proposal") when you jumped in to say all the rest is "social fluff" and just be focused on finding the right guy. And seeing that you said you were going to "rain on this parade", you had to assume you were going to put a damper on things by saying that.
Now, as I said, I AGREE with your original point. I too, think way too many women spend their time with their head in the clouds. However, by saying that right off the bat, every woman who would want to share any imagined proposal stories or they way they''d LIKE to see it go down was put on the defensive. It kind of reminded me of that "what have you seen in weddings that you hate" thread. Well, hello...like that''s going to get answers with a positive vibe. LIWs who may have ideas then have to say on this thread, well, it''s important to me! And then you ask why? And then they explain. And then people start to get picked apart. And then the thread goes south. As soon as I saw your post surfigirl, I knew this thread would take a turn into argument land.
Yes, threads evolve. They get hijacked. Ideas get discussed and debated. However, you currently have an entire thread asking to look into the mind of the LIW. Did you need to psychoanalyze a simple question here? The BWWs get to have their forum mostly in peace. Yes, sometimes a LIW needs to be smacked in the head a bit, but lately I really think coming and using the LIW forum for what it was intended for is a bit of a minefield (and I''ve been known to detonate bombs, so I am certainly guilty). I think for innocent questions like this, the LIWs should be able to discuss in peace. And yes, sometimes they should be able to vent in peace here. I think all "seasoned" married women would advise it''s better to find an outlet if it''s a vent (and not a real communication issue) than, er, to chuck a fruity in front of your man.
With that being said, I think almost everyone can agree...
- it''s not a bad thing to have dreams of what may happen for your proposal
- just be realistic about what your guy can do
- many of the LIWs actually want to hear the stories and dreams
- if it doesn''t happen, keep your perspective...he wants to really marry you and that''s a wonderful thing, right?
Surfgirl, I do agree with you in your viewpoints. However, in defense of the OPs question, she merely asked what people dream about when it comes to their proposals. I really think that is a valid question and one that lots of LIWs think about and may like to share. We didn''t get more than 3 posts in (all of whom seemed to simply say "I''d like a private proposal") when you jumped in to say all the rest is "social fluff" and just be focused on finding the right guy. And seeing that you said you were going to "rain on this parade", you had to assume you were going to put a damper on things by saying that.
Now, as I said, I AGREE with your original point. I too, think way too many women spend their time with their head in the clouds. However, by saying that right off the bat, every woman who would want to share any imagined proposal stories or they way they''d LIKE to see it go down was put on the defensive. It kind of reminded me of that "what have you seen in weddings that you hate" thread. Well, hello...like that''s going to get answers with a positive vibe. LIWs who may have ideas then have to say on this thread, well, it''s important to me! And then you ask why? And then they explain. And then people start to get picked apart. And then the thread goes south. As soon as I saw your post surfigirl, I knew this thread would take a turn into argument land.
Yes, threads evolve. They get hijacked. Ideas get discussed and debated. However, you currently have an entire thread asking to look into the mind of the LIW. Did you need to psychoanalyze a simple question here? The BWWs get to have their forum mostly in peace. Yes, sometimes a LIW needs to be smacked in the head a bit, but lately I really think coming and using the LIW forum for what it was intended for is a bit of a minefield (and I''ve been known to detonate bombs, so I am certainly guilty). I think for innocent questions like this, the LIWs should be able to discuss in peace. And yes, sometimes they should be able to vent in peace here. I think all "seasoned" married women would advise it''s better to find an outlet if it''s a vent (and not a real communication issue) than, er, to chuck a fruity in front of your man.
With that being said, I think almost everyone can agree...
- it''s not a bad thing to have dreams of what may happen for your proposal
- just be realistic about what your guy can do
- many of the LIWs actually want to hear the stories and dreams
- if it doesn''t happen, keep your perspective...he wants to really marry you and that''s a wonderful thing, right?
surfgirl
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Apr 5, 2007
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- 4,438
CrookedRock
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- May 8, 2007
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THANK YOU TGAL!!! I am so frustrated when I open my computer everyday bc all I find anymore is arguments that are about what one person thinks is right for everyone... It is really statring to turn me off from this forum, which happens to be the only forum I have ever joined.
The question was about dream proposals. Not what certain people thought we should all expect.
Erin... I am sorry to hear that you feel the same way I do, when it comes to defending ourselves on here. I have no idea how the attitude of the board changed so drastically.
I for one would love to have the married ladies chime in on the LIW boards and give their wise opinions. I just would appreciate if I wasn''t constantly put on the defense. Not that I can''t defend myself, it just gets old...
And the worst part for me is that I know my proposal is weeks away, and I am honestly not so keen on the idea of sharing it on here anymore. I know the LIW''s will be nothing but happy for me, but will someone else come and pick it all apart? I certainly don''t want to be put on the defensive when it comes to sharing my proposal story and having to justify why it was just right for me...
The question was about dream proposals. Not what certain people thought we should all expect.
Erin... I am sorry to hear that you feel the same way I do, when it comes to defending ourselves on here. I have no idea how the attitude of the board changed so drastically.
I for one would love to have the married ladies chime in on the LIW boards and give their wise opinions. I just would appreciate if I wasn''t constantly put on the defense. Not that I can''t defend myself, it just gets old...
And the worst part for me is that I know my proposal is weeks away, and I am honestly not so keen on the idea of sharing it on here anymore. I know the LIW''s will be nothing but happy for me, but will someone else come and pick it all apart? I certainly don''t want to be put on the defensive when it comes to sharing my proposal story and having to justify why it was just right for me...
TravelingGal
Super_Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Dec 29, 2004
- Messages
- 17,193
Well, now you''re just being silly.
Not only is it not true, but it''s kind of a rude thing to say. There always plenty of advice, harsh or not given around here, and a lot of it is handled gracefully.
The LIW forum started BEFORE the BWW forum...with the purpose of "squeeing and stressing" as you say.
CrookedRock
Brilliant_Rock
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- May 8, 2007
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In regards to this particular comment. This def a place for honesty, as long as it is done with respect. Almost everyday people post pics of new jewelry or ERings. Most of which are not my personal taste, but I respect that the OP loves their piece and they picked it out bc of that. So in the end I am happy for them! If someone posted their Ering and I chimed in saying...Really, are you sure that''s the one you want? It''s kinda blah... I would probably be banned! But I would never crap on someones dream whether it be a dream ring, dream proposal, dream vacation, wedding, honeymoon, etc... But trust me they are not all my taste, and I am sure that everyone can say the same. Not everyone has to like everything, and that''s ok, but there is no need to tell people what they should want, expect, or dream of...
Oh... and I will post my proposal and the ring, which I customed designed. And I am sure that it will not be everyone''s taste, but that''s ok, bc they don''t have to wear it! But if someone doesn''t like it I would appreciate them keeping it to themselves, bc that is the respectful thing to do!
chocolatefudge
Shiny_Rock
- Joined
- Oct 28, 2007
- Messages
- 383
Surfgirl, I don''t really know how to react to your last post, other than laugh! When did I say that everyone is in a conspiracy against me?? And forgive me for thinking that EVERY post centers around me, because that''s something I have also said....... apparently.
You said that:
So when this topic comes up, it is natural for those with either direct experience, or who''ve already lived through the proposal phase or who''ve read or know of ladies who got way too caught up in how the proposal was presented and were then disappointed, well, then they are free to speak up and share their experiences and/or viewpoints on the topic.
And? When did I say that this board was for my sole use and noone else else could use it?
This thread was started to ask about our dream proposals. I KNOW I won''t be disappointed with my proposal and all I was saying was that it won''t happen one night in front of the tv. I wrote out my ideal proposal and if you read it you would see that I''m not expecting a big "show" and can''t see how I could be disappointed.
I''m sorry I seemed to have hit a nerve with you and wonder what you are getting so worked up about? You said I suggested that you may be jealous of others proposals (although that''s not how I said it) and if you aren''t then why do you care?
You said that:
So when this topic comes up, it is natural for those with either direct experience, or who''ve already lived through the proposal phase or who''ve read or know of ladies who got way too caught up in how the proposal was presented and were then disappointed, well, then they are free to speak up and share their experiences and/or viewpoints on the topic.
And? When did I say that this board was for my sole use and noone else else could use it?
This thread was started to ask about our dream proposals. I KNOW I won''t be disappointed with my proposal and all I was saying was that it won''t happen one night in front of the tv. I wrote out my ideal proposal and if you read it you would see that I''m not expecting a big "show" and can''t see how I could be disappointed.
I''m sorry I seemed to have hit a nerve with you and wonder what you are getting so worked up about? You said I suggested that you may be jealous of others proposals (although that''s not how I said it) and if you aren''t then why do you care?
Delster
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Apr 22, 2007
- Messages
- 2,231
TGal, thank you for stepping in here. The LIW forum is becoming a scary place these days.
Back to scheduled programming?
For me, a dream proposal would be VERY private, and I would like if he had put some thought about into he wanted to say and didn''t just blurt out the four magic words. But if he just blurted out the our magic words I would still be ecstatic!
I''d also love a big party afterwards (not necessarily the same day, like within a couple of weeks or whatever) with all our family and friends celebrating with us. That''s impossible for us as they all live so far apart but we are talking dreams here!
Back to scheduled programming?
For me, a dream proposal would be VERY private, and I would like if he had put some thought about into he wanted to say and didn''t just blurt out the four magic words. But if he just blurted out the our magic words I would still be ecstatic!
I''d also love a big party afterwards (not necessarily the same day, like within a couple of weeks or whatever) with all our family and friends celebrating with us. That''s impossible for us as they all live so far apart but we are talking dreams here!
KatM
Shiny_Rock
- Joined
- Sep 24, 2007
- Messages
- 218
im an extremely private person, so i would want something where i wouldn''t have to feel self-conscious about other people watching such a private moment. he''s very similar, and he knows that im not a big fan of pda, so im not worried about something public.
i just want to know that he''s thought about it and that he''s excited to do it. that''s what i dream about, the feeling that he''s allowed himself to be completely open, honest and raw.
i just want to know that he''s thought about it and that he''s excited to do it. that''s what i dream about, the feeling that he''s allowed himself to be completely open, honest and raw.
Thank you for that clarification! It's very easy to read posts in a way they're not intended, and I honestly read "If I don't get a big production, I'll be pissed" in your post. The breakfast-in-bed proposal you described is not a big production, so I do understand your distinction between "effort" and "production" now.
The issue with mis-reading posts is difficult to get a handle on. I've only been doing the "forum" thing since I joined PS, and believe me, it's taken me this most of the time (though as chocolatefudge demonstrated, it does still happen).
For those saying "let 'em dream," I totally agree, and the "dream" proposal was never what I was responding negatively to. It was (like I was describing to CrookedRock) the suggestion that nothing less will do, because I'm seeing the pain it puts those boyfriends through first-hand in my brother.
So yes, dream on! Just cut your guy a break if/when reality doesn't live up to the "dream"
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