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Who Gets to Keep the Ring?

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I think the person who forfits the ring is the perons who breaks it off unless the ring is the heirloom.

If you cheat you lose it...not my problem. should have kept it in your pants... just MHO...

Unless it was something sentimental to the family its a conditional gift....

HOWEVER, if you get the ring on a holiday its technically a gift and therefor might not hold up in court if you want it back....
 
Date: 11/25/2008 11:15:27 PM
Author: ~*Alexis*~
I think the person who forfits the ring is the perons who breaks it off unless the ring is the heirloom.


If you cheat you lose it...not my problem. should have kept it in your pants... just MHO...


Unless it was something sentimental to the family its a conditional gift....


HOWEVER, if you get the ring on a holiday its technically a gift and therefor might not hold up in court if you want it back....

ditto, me and my fi actually talked about this and this is the agreement we came to as well. we got the ring ourselves so if someone cheats, the other person gets the ring (not that we are planning on that lol) if no one cheats, the person who gets dumped gets the ring
 
Date: 11/25/2008 11:15:27 PM
Author: ~*Alexis*~

If you cheat you lose it...not my problem. should have kept it in your pants... just MHO...
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you would cut off his **** ?
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Date: 11/26/2008 3:27:23 AM
Author: Dancing Fire
Date: 11/25/2008 11:15:27 PM

Author: ~*Alexis*~


If you cheat you lose it...not my problem. should have kept it in your pants... just MHO...
23.gif
you would cut off his **** ?
9.gif



ha!


i would. but E knows that. I''m a scorned lady....
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actually, we would have to split up the ring. the diamond is from my family, and the ring setting is his purchase. but personally, im in the belief if the woman breaks it off, she gives the ring back. if the man breaks if off, why would you want to keep it? i know its still a diamond...
 
I''ve always felt that whoever breaks it off doesn''t get to keep it. Unless there is cheating, and in that case the person who cheats doesn''t get the ring. Most of my friends feel the same way.

I ended up returning a non-engagement ring to an ex. He gave it to me for Christmas but it was viewed (by him, not me) as a pre-engagement gift. It was from Tiffany (one of their 1/4 carat plat wedding bands that I wore on my right hand). When I broke up with him he asked for it back, and out of feeling bad about hurting him I said I would return it even though I was really on the fence about it. I felt that since it was a gift I should rightfully be able to keep it. I asked a bunch of people what I should do and the best answer I got was sell it and donate the money to charity. Eventually I mailed it to him and he had it polished up and gave it to his mother for her 60th birthday which I thought was really sweet. Oddly, I was hesitant to return it until the day FF and I became an official couple. At that point I just didn''t want relics of old relationships hanging around because I knew he was it for me.
 
ak! MommaBear I freaked when I saw the title! LOL! Your ring is one of my favorites and I was sad for a moment thinking you were parting ways.
 
I didn''t even read the article to be honest.

For me, I would give the ring back no matter what. If he cheats, or dumps me, or calls you a cow and sends me to live on a farm...I would still give it back. I don''t need a constant reminder of a failed engagement. Plus, freedom from a loser/bad relationship outweighs a pretty diamond any day.
 
Date: 11/26/2008 9:35:39 AM
Author: Miscka
ak! MommaBear I freaked when I saw the title! LOL! Your ring is one of my favorites and I was sad for a moment thinking you were parting ways.


Ditto that!! MommaBear, your tacori (and the eye candy you''ve posted of it) is one my favorites on the board! I think my heart stopped when i read the title of this thread!! Glad you''re not considering life without it! (and the lovely man who gave it to you!)

Vita*
 
I gave my ring back to my ex for many reasons.

1. I broke the engagement.
2. I wasn''t going to do anything with this jewelry after the relationship ended. My mother kept her ring from her first marriage and actually used parts of that ring in other jewelry, and she encouraged me to keep the ring I had had. I just didn''t feel comfortable even having it in my possession anymore.
3. I kicked him out and sent him back home to his folks, and he was talking about quitting his job and going back to school. I figured he may need to sell that ring to get money for rent or classes.
4. It wasn''t given on a holiday or birthday as a gift.
 
I got a promise ring that was a 3 stone diamond ring for my bday from an ex. I sold it last year.
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If you do not get married, I believe it should go back to the person who paid for it. Like the video said, it is a conditional gift.

I was engaged to a very wealthy man whos father had left him a diamond wholesale business. He had given me many beautiful diamonds. We broke up before the wedding and he asked for the engagement ring back, I returned everything. Legally, he only had rights to the engagement ring as it was a conditional gift, but I felt better for giving everything back.
 
Date: 11/26/2008 2:42:20 AM
Author: Smurfysmiles
Date: 11/25/2008 11:15:27 PM
Author: ~*Alexis*~
I think the person who forfits the ring is the perons who breaks it off unless the ring is the heirloom.

If you cheat you lose it...not my problem. should have kept it in your pants... just MHO...

Unless it was something sentimental to the family its a conditional gift....

HOWEVER, if you get the ring on a holiday its technically a gift and therefor might not hold up in court if you want it back....
ditto, me and my fi actually talked about this and this is the agreement we came to as well. we got the ring ourselves so if someone cheats, the other person gets the ring (not that we are planning on that lol) if no one cheats, the person who gets dumped gets the ring
You talked about this with him??
6.gif
Wow!!

I can't imagine that even entering my mind once we were engaged. I thought about such things early in our relationship though, to be fair. Maybe I wasn't being realistic enough? We've never had "If one of us cheats or dumps the other person" type of hypothetical conversations.
 
I didn''t read the article either, but I believe the law on this varies from state to state...I would give the ring back, though, no matter what. I wouldn''t want it around and I would want the money from it, either.


I had a friend who did get married, so she kept the ring when they were divorced; a couple of years later she sold it and used the money for breast implants.
 
Unfortunately I was in this situation many years ago. He ended things, told me he was only with me for the money (yeah, classy guy). I found out that he had been cheating on me MULTIPLE times and had been hiding a lot from me. At first I was so hurt and angry I kept the ring out of spite. Kind of like, if he was willing to throw away our relationship he should be willing to throw away the money he spent on the ring. (I was very young) Then I thought, he gave it to me in the promise of getting married, he broke that promise, therefore I should get the ring. A couple of months later I had come to an accepting point and I gave him back the ring. I didn’t want it in my life, I wasn’t at the point where I could sell it, so giving it back was really the only thing to do. It was quite cathartic and I felt like he didn’t have anything over me anymore (he had been quite vocal about how I didn’t “deserve” the ring) So, he got it back, sold it, and proposed to his current wife with the money he got from it. It didn’t even bother me at that point. That ring meant nothing, it was the relationship that hurt. After I got over the hurt that he caused me, the ring was just an accessory.

I think in a divorce it may be different (unless it is a family stone), but if it happens before a wedding has taken place I would just give the ring back if he wanted it… or throw it in a lake… whatever!

Haha juuuust kidding!
3.gif

 
Date: 11/26/2008 3:27:23 AM
Author: Dancing Fire
Date: 11/25/2008 11:15:27 PM

Author: ~*Alexis*~


If you cheat you lose it...not my problem. should have kept it in your pants... just MHO...
23.gif
you would cut off his **** ?
9.gif


Dancing Fire: What in the world are you doing in the Ladies In Waiting thread??????? ha ha ha ha ha
 
Date: 11/26/2008 2:24:14 PM
Author: Linda W

Date: 11/26/2008 3:27:23 AM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 11/25/2008 11:15:27 PM

Author: ~*Alexis*~


If you cheat you lose it...not my problem. should have kept it in your pants... just MHO...
23.gif
you would cut off his **** ?
9.gif


Dancing Fire: What in the world are you doing in the Ladies In Waiting thread??????? ha ha ha ha ha
maybe there''s a rich lady waiting for me here.
31.gif
 
DF gets to keep my ring if we (FF and I) break up! (Sorry DF, it's not a diamond.)

Linda--DF is always lurking in LIW to see what kind of rings we want. I remember a certain thread he posted in here asking if we all wanted 2ct diamonds...
 
Date: 11/26/2008 7:43:29 PM
Author: FrekeChild
DF gets to keep my ring if we (FF and I) break up! (Sorry DF, it''s not a diamond.)


Linda--DF is always lurking in LIW to see what kind of rings we want. I remember a certain thread he posted in here asking if we all wanted 2ct diamonds...

Freke: Now that would be nice, if he would buy everyone 2c diamond rings
9.gif
 
Date: 11/26/2008 11:00:41 PM
Author: Linda W
Date: 11/26/2008 7:43:29 PM

Author: FrekeChild

DF gets to keep my ring if we (FF and I) break up! (Sorry DF, it''s not a diamond.)



Linda--DF is always lurking in LIW to see what kind of rings we want. I remember a certain thread he posted in here asking if we all wanted 2ct diamonds...


Freke: Now that would be nice, if he would buy everyone 2c diamond rings

9.gif

we''re do i submit my mailing address?
31.gif
 
Date: 11/26/2008 9:35:39 AM
Author: Miscka
ak! MommaBear I freaked when I saw the title! LOL! Your ring is one of my favorites and I was sad for a moment thinking you were parting ways.
HAHAHHAHAHA
MISCHKA!

Thank you for worrying about my ring :)
I''m not parting with it no matter what!!! lol
DH would not make me give it back to him if
we were to split. The way we see it, that ring
is sentimental to HIM and I only. After us, it''s
meaningless.
 
Date: 11/26/2008 9:42:24 AM
Author: fieryred33143
I didn''t even read the article to be honest.


For me, I would give the ring back no matter what. If he cheats, or dumps me, or calls you a cow and sends me to live on a farm...I would still give it back. I don''t need a constant reminder of a failed engagement. Plus, freedom from a loser/bad relationship outweighs a pretty diamond any day.

I wouldn''t keep it either, if he cheats I ''m selling that baby and buying something nice for myself!
 
Date: 11/26/2008 1:22:23 PM
Author: musey
Date: 11/26/2008 2:42:20 AM

Author: Smurfysmiles

Date: 11/25/2008 11:15:27 PM

Author: ~*Alexis*~

I think the person who forfits the ring is the perons who breaks it off unless the ring is the heirloom.


If you cheat you lose it...not my problem. should have kept it in your pants... just MHO...


Unless it was something sentimental to the family its a conditional gift....


HOWEVER, if you get the ring on a holiday its technically a gift and therefor might not hold up in court if you want it back....

ditto, me and my fi actually talked about this and this is the agreement we came to as well. we got the ring ourselves so if someone cheats, the other person gets the ring (not that we are planning on that lol) if no one cheats, the person who gets dumped gets the ring

You talked about this with him??
6.gif
Wow!!


I can''t imagine that even entering my mind once we were engaged. I thought about such things early in our relationship though, to be fair. Maybe I wasn''t being realistic enough? We''ve never had ''If one of us cheats or dumps the other person'' type of hypothetical conversations.


I think we were watching some lame tv show on mtv or something like that where the issue came up and that was what jumpstarted the conversation. It wasn''t like a "this is something we have to sit down and talk about because it''s a real possibility" thing. You know those books where it asks questions like "if you could kill one person to get rid of a disease, would you?" We treated it like one of those questions. We don''t actually believe one of us is going to cheat because we love each other very very super duper much :)
 
My fiance''s sister was to be married this past summer. I think about 6 months earlier (can''t remember now) her fiance broke it off. I never heard the full story, but everyone seemed to think that he was a complete a-hole about it. I honestly think he probably came to his senses and realized that they were not ready to be married, but I wasn''t there and it''s none of my business. Because of the way he supposedly broke it off, she and her family refused to give the ring back. From what I understand, the main diamond in the ring belonged to his grandmother, who is still alive. It was worth something like $20,000. The rest of the setting he paid for himself. Legally, I am pretty sure she is supposed to give it back, especially since it was an heirloom. There is so much animosity between the two families now though that I am not sure what will happen.
 

OMG that is awful! I cannot imagine how it must feel to have an heirloom in the family for so long and to lose it like that! I would understand if they were already married and then maybe had a daughter they could pass it down to. At least that way its still in the family. But this is just horrible. She should really give it back. I don’t care what he did.


And this is why I think heirloom diamonds should be given to a daughter (if there was a choice obviously). Just my honest opinion.
 
Since my bf will be using his mother''s ring, we''ve already discussed this issue. If something happens and we break up (before or after marriage), the ring gets returned to his family. End of subject. It''s a family heirloom, and his sister does have a daughter...and his sister is the only girl out of four children, so I''m amazed that she even volunteered her mother''s ring for me! But she''s just not into jewelry.
 
I wholeheartedly agree that the heirloom family diamond should be returned! I would be livid if my child lost an heirloom in that way.
I'm surprised the girl's parents haven't stepped in put things right.
Perhaps the parents of the boy should give that diamond to another one of their children, or sell it to another family member and buy something nice for themselves!

On another note, the only jewellery gift I have ever got from a boyfriend other than my husband was a very delicate gold chain. This guy was a bit of a flash-in-the-pan wierdo, and had a lot of problems, just acted bizarrely from beginning to end. Total control freak.

When we finally broke the stupid thing off, I sent him back his chain. Later, I thought I should have kept it. It wouldn't have cost that much, but that guy caused me quite a bit of grief and embarrassment, in retrospect I deserved a little compensation!
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I was in this situation. I was engaged very young (at 18) to my BF of 1.5 years. No surprise, we ended up breaking up a month later. I asked him if he wanted the ring back and he did not. I knew that I was not going to wear this ring, so I ended up returning it to the store. He had purchased it at Best (they sold everything from jewelry to appliances), so without the receipt I was able to get a merchandise credit for the sale price. I ended getting a "boom box", LMAO! He was soooo mad when he found out, which was sweet satisfaction for me...he was a cheater
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my sister broke on her engagement in sept because he had slept with 3 other people ... yep charming I know. They had only been together for six months and he had been cheating from 4 months into the relationship (read before he proposed). I said girl ... you better be keeping that ring!

She said she was going to pawn the ring and buy shoes (an excellent idea after any breakup I say) but she came to her senses and is going to have it made in to a pendant or something. From what she has said I think it is like 1/3crt or less so its not like it was a HUGE amount of money or anything that he looses and to be honest I kind of thing he deserves it, but im biased.

In australia law has just changed stating that the ring is returned to the male, unless the female has paid for it in full (and of course can prove it)! If it has been purchased jointly then one party keeps then ring and the other is reinbursed for the appropriate amount.
 
Zsa Zsa Gabor said it best...

"Dahling, of course you return the ring! You remove the diamond, and give him back the ring"
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