why do women worry about the guy cheating on them?...

[sevens one]

Date: 5/13/2005 2:54:12 AM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 5/13/2005 1:18:44 AM
Author: windy1365
sjz - I think you are right with your analogy for the majority of men and women.

Actually, I did cheat for the ''girly'' reasons that you listed. I was not happy... didn''t get the attention I needed, was looking for a way out. But, I guess how I differ is that not every guy that I cheated with was a potential boyfriend. Some of them were just hot and for fun... I did not want any kind of relationship with them. But, the reason that I cheated in the first place goes along with your girl reasons. If I was happy at home, I would not have cheated with even the hot guys.

Well... there was one time where I had just broken up with an ex of four and a half years. I started dating someone else, and in the beginning, I did like him, but I still went out with the ex behind his back. I just wasn''t ready to move on completely. But...I think that''s a whole differently kind of cheating, don''t you?

did you get a brain implant along with your breast implant? well...i hope you get pay big [$$)] for what you do. it''s call the worlds oldest profession.

Hey the old double standard:
A guy has several partners and it''s acceptable;
A girl has several partners and she''s a prostitue.

Lighten Up!

 

[Lord Summerisle]

windy - I had a friend who did much the same thing as you did (probly still is knowing her) she claims to have a bad un for a boyfriend but cant afford to leave him (yet she is out each week spending £££ on clothes and shoes)

Used to feel sorry for her with the situation she was in... but as time went on.. she never made attempts to leave and sort herself out, she was happy doing what she was doing behind the bfs back so as she could have the roof over her head and plenty of money for shoes and claiming being beaten every so often - but never took the oppotunities many of our circle of friends offered to help her get out of it.

 

[abradabra]

This is a little off topic in the sense that it doesn''t really relate to the direction the conversation has been going recently, but that might not be the worst thing...

Anyway, when I was younger, cheating seemed like such a horrific, debilitating thing to have happen to you and I worried about it a lot. But then, as I got older, it stopped being an issue. Part of that was that I grew to really trust my fiance, but the more important realization was something that is clearly evidenced in this thread. You''ll be okay. In fact, in many cases, you''ll be better off. Everyone here who has shared the story of when they were cheated on has found someone else that really suits them and they are happy.

I can''t control everything my fiance does and I wouldn''t want to. And if what he does is something I can''t stand for, I''ll be just fine without him (well, eventually, obviously its a horrific event when it initially occurs--but I try to keep a long-term view of everything anyway).

 

[pearcrazy]

Date: 5/13/2005 2:54:12 AM
Author: Dancing Fire

Date: 5/13/2005 1:18:44 AM
Author: windy1365
sjz - I think you are right with your analogy for the majority of men and women.

Actually, I did cheat for the ''girly'' reasons that you listed. I was not happy... didn''t get the attention I needed, was looking for a way out. But, I guess how I differ is that not every guy that I cheated with was a potential boyfriend. Some of them were just hot and for fun... I did not want any kind of relationship with them. But, the reason that I cheated in the first place goes along with your girl reasons. If I was happy at home, I would not have cheated with even the hot guys.

Well... there was one time where I had just broken up with an ex of four and a half years. I started dating someone else, and in the beginning, I did like him, but I still went out with the ex behind his back. I just wasn''t ready to move on completely. But...I think that''s a whole differently kind of cheating, don''t you?

did you get a brain implant along with your breast implant? well...i hope you get pay big [$$)] for what you do. it''s call the worlds oldest profession.

I''ve been reading this thread with curiosity and I just want to chime in here and say:

DANCING FIRE-- That comment was totally RUDE AND UNCALLED FOR!! You may not agree with how she thinks or what she''s done but you were WAYYY out of line calling her a prostitute!! Hopefully Leonid is reading along this thread as well. I think you owe her an apology.

I also totally agree with what Sevens said--The old double standard!! Would you be using those words to a man who made that comment?

 

[canuk-gal]

Date: 5/13/2005 2:54:12 AM
Author: Dancing Fire

did you get a brain implant along with your breast implant? well...i hope you get pay big [$$)] for what you do. it''s call the worlds oldest profession.

HI:

Name calling is the lowest form of discourse and has no place in civilized conversation.

Sharon

 

[sjz]

Date: 5/13/2005 8:33:44 AM
Author: abradabra
This is a little off topic in the sense that it doesn''t really relate to the direction the conversation has been going recently, but that might not be the worst thing...

Anyway, when I was younger, cheating seemed like such a horrific, debilitating thing to have happen to you and I worried about it a lot. But then, as I got older, it stopped being an issue. Part of that was that I grew to really trust my fiance, but the more important realization was something that is clearly evidenced in this thread. You''ll be okay. In fact, in many cases, you''ll be better off. Everyone here who has shared the story of when they were cheated on has found someone else that really suits them and they are happy.

I can''t control everything my fiance does and I wouldn''t want to. And if what he does is something I can''t stand for, I''ll be just fine without him (well, eventually, obviously its a horrific event when it initially occurs--but I try to keep a long-term view of everything anyway).

Eventhough I ended up with a wonderful man who is much better for me than my ex, I honestly can''t say that I''m "better off". I went through, and still am going through a lot of unhappiness as a result of my ex cheating on me. The woman that he left me for got pregnant, so he married her. She proceeded to have two more kids bang bang right after the first one. So he has three kids with her who are all a year apart. He finally got smart and had a vasectomy...lol. But this woman is the worst kind of harpy, even to this day! Even though I moved on and never tried to interfere in her marriage and life with my ex, she has done everything in her power to interfere in MY life for the past 18 years!!! My oldest son with my ex now lives with them, and she has worked very hard to try and turn my own son against me. She has used every dirty trick in the book, even resorting to putting down my religion (I''m a Catholic) She even got my son involved in a cult for a while. My ex can''t divorce her, because he''d go under paying all the child support for their three kids. He is stuck, my son is stuck, and as a result of this, I am sort of stuck with this whole situation, too.

My husband has been wonderful through all of this, and has supported me and stood by me through thick and thin. He has always been a wonderful step-father to my son and would do anything in the world for him. But sometimes all the love and good intentions on earth don''t quite make things right if you have people like my ex and his wife constantly trying to cause your grief.

My thoughts are that cheating is like throwing a pebble in the lake. Even a small pebble can cause a ripple effect that will go on endlessly sometimes. A lot of cheaters think they can "get by with it" as long as they don''t get caught, or because they feel justified in doing what they do. NOT SO!!!! Someone ALWAYS gets hurt. Most of the time, everyone involved gets hurt. It''s not cool, it''s not funny, and it''s not something that ever ends happily ever after.