THAT is a whole different issue entirely!Date: 11/14/2006 8:07:01 PM
Author: poptart
We live in Los Angeles, while I am originally from a small town in the midwest. I know of 16 couples that I went to high school with who are now married... all people who stayed within the area that we grew up in, and all couples who either did not attend college or did so within an hour or so of my hometown.
In LA, on the other hand, I don't know a single person under the age of 23 who even wants to CONSIDER marriage. Part of that is that I went to a large university in a large city on the liberal west coast, and people who choose that lifestyle don't often also choose to get married young. In that situation, delaying marriage (IMO) is not a maturity issue at all, but a choice to focus on career first so that they are more established before starting a family (which is the most surefire way to have a comfortable financial life later on).
From the married couples that I do know (our age), I wouldn't call many of them mature... so I don't think that being married young makes a person more mature (or that you have to be more mature to get married young). For many of them, it was a "we want to live together, so we have to get married" or "we're saving ourselves for marriage, so let's get married so we can do it" thing, and many of them chose marriage in lieu of a college education (which their parents would not provide if they were married). For them, it became instant vs. delayed gratification. Which, again, I wouldn't put in the mature category. I also don't think that it makes a person less mature to be married young, because for every immature couple I know there is one that simply was ready (and really were taking into account the potential drawbacks). From what I can tell, maturity level is a non-issue for this age group.
I feel that the maturity card really does not come into play until mid- to late-twenties, when you really can argue that a 28-year-old who is not ready to marry may be immature. In the early twenties, however, there are so many more important issues holding people back: incomplete education (most people don't graduate with their bachelor's until age 22), undeveloped career, parental pressure on finances, etc. etc. So if we're going to pin it on any psychological issues, is should be those.
Just my thoughts on it
ETA: I just read that you are a military wife... which is an entirely different cultural subset that has very different expectations placed on them. For military couples I'm sure that, yes, it makes sense to get married young if you're going to anyway (from what I've read of the benefits available to married vs. single servicemen). Military men are earning their own money often straight out of high school, and are financially independent by 18 or 19 years of age. In that case, every point I made about school and career is moot. But for the college-bound set, being married before the age of 22-23 is the social and economic equivalent of a military couple being married at 16!