Will people stop making assumptions

[LtlFirecracker]

I think if someone comes on here asking for an honest opinion, they need to be ready to hear all sides. My very first post on here was asking for an honest opionion, and I got it. Yeah, I was dissipointed for about 20 minutes, but I got over it. In the long run, listening to the advice helped me get something I am much happier with. One of the nice things about this forum is that it gives the consumer a different opinion than the jeweler who is telling them the stone is "great" and downplaying the flaws. And I aways appriciate the person who has the courage to say something that someone may not want to hear, if they think it will benefit them in the long run.

As for the comments about stone size, I also love smaller, high quality stones. Everytime there is a new post in the <1ct thred, I click on it first. But I also admire quality jewelry, regardless of the size. Part of the fun of this place is to get a good look that things you may not see in real life. Even if I could afford larger stones, I would not buy them as they are not pratictal for work and I am a klutz

. But I love seeing other peoples stuff. I don't comment of everyone's jewelry, I just don't have the time. But I try to distribute my comments evenly between the smaller and larger pieces, and I try to keep my level of excitement the same.

 

[Miranda]

Date: 7/3/2008 12:59:19 PM
Author: surfgirl

Date: 7/3/2008 12:34:26 PM
Author: FrekeChild
I do think that people who just post ''WOW!'' a hundred times a day need to reevaluate those wows. I''m pretty easily impressed by size, but I have distinct tastes that not many rings fill. I know I''d rather give an honest opinion over a ''WOW!'' any day. In real life, it''s very hard to get me to say ''WOW!''-there just aren''t that many things out there that do that. :::shrugging emoticon:::

Perhaps this is at the crux of what Pandora was talking about?

Maybe it is, but, I say ''WOW'' a lot in SMTR and I really mean it. I like lots of different styles of rings truly and honestly. I really mean every ''WOW'' I say. I just thought I''d offer a different side of the coin.

Now that I am thinking about it. There really has been a lot of hypersensitivity here lately.

 

[Skippy123]

Date: 7/3/2008 1:15:38 PM
Author: Miranda

Date: 7/3/2008 12:59:19 PM
Author: surfgirl

Date: 7/3/2008 12:34:26 PM
Author: FrekeChild
I do think that people who just post ''WOW!'' a hundred times a day need to reevaluate those wows. I''m pretty easily impressed by size, but I have distinct tastes that not many rings fill. I know I''d rather give an honest opinion over a ''WOW!'' any day. In real life, it''s very hard to get me to say ''WOW!''-there just aren''t that many things out there that do that. :::shrugging emoticon:::

Perhaps this is at the crux of what Pandora was talking about?

Maybe it is, but, I say ''WOW'' a lot in SMTR and I really mean it. I like lots of different styles of rings truly and honestly. I really mean every ''WOW'' I say. I just thought I''d offer a different side of the coin.

Now that I am thinking about it. There really has been a lot of hypersensitivity here lately.

Diito!!! I love looking at everyones sparkly diamonds it just makes my day and I mean it with all honesty!

 

[FrekeChild]

Date: 7/3/2008 1:15:38 PM
Author: Miranda

Date: 7/3/2008 12:59:19 PM
Author: surfgirl

Date: 7/3/2008 12:34:26 PM
Author: FrekeChild
I do think that people who just post ''WOW!'' a hundred times a day need to reevaluate those wows. I''m pretty easily impressed by size, but I have distinct tastes that not many rings fill. I know I''d rather give an honest opinion over a ''WOW!'' any day. In real life, it''s very hard to get me to say ''WOW!''-there just aren''t that many things out there that do that. :::shrugging emoticon:::

Perhaps this is at the crux of what Pandora was talking about?

Maybe it is, but, I say ''WOW'' a lot in SMTR and I really mean it. I like lots of different styles of rings truly and honestly. I really mean every ''WOW'' I say. I just thought I''d offer a different side of the coin.

Now that I am thinking about it. There really has been a lot of hypersensitivity here lately.

I don''t really say "Wow!" on the board much though. In all actuality, I don''t even hang out in RT or SMTR all that much. It usually takes a OMC, OEC or something GINORMOUS to get *any* comments out of me. Or perhaps a thread that just keeps getting comments and therefore stays at the top. The real test of whether I like something is if I save pics of it. Basically, if I leave a comment, I mean what I say.

And I agree with you Miranda on the bolded part. In the LIW board, the SMTR, RT, etc. I don''t get it...

 

[Bliss]

Me, too.

I say WOW a lot. I don't go posting WOW in a brain dead pneumatic fashion, though. It's sincere and I do think, "WOW!" to all the rings I post on - from the dainty solitaires to the yummilicious rocks blinged out from shank to shank.

But yeah, if people do ask for honest opinions, they should welcome them + or --... However, if they are in the SMTR thread, only compliments should abound there. The snark should be saved for some other place... or better yet, not at all. Honesty yes, snark no. Down with snark!

 

[meresal]

Date: 7/3/2008 1:37:48 PM
Author: Bliss
Me, too.

I say WOW a lot. I don't go posting WOW in a brain dead pneumatic fashion, though. It's sincere and I do think, 'WOW!' to all the rings I post on - from the dainty solitaires to the yummilicious rocks blinged out from shank to shank.

But yeah, if people do ask for honest opinions, they should welcome them + or --... However, if they are in the SMTR thread, only compliments should abound there. The snark should be saved for some other place... or better yet, not at all. Honesty yes, snark no. Down with snark!

If that's the case... then hopfully people asking for an opinion will realize to post in Rocky Talk.

However, admittedly, this week is the first time I have EVER been in Rocky Talk, becasue I assumed that it was an "I know everything about stones" thread that focused mainly on buying, which is where I did not belong until I had a question about possibly being ripped off. **WARNING, approaching generalization**

I think people ask opinions about beauty in the SMTR thread, bc RT seems to be very analytical, more about cut and angles than basic appearance. Does that make sense?

 

[wishful]

I see what everyone is saying.

Here''s how I look at it.

Rocky Talky and LIW are forums where people are asking for advice and opinions and I think it would be a disservice to this site to not give them that. It doesn''t mean people need to be overly harsh or rude about it but esp in Rocky Talky people are tying to get educated and really get some help on a very expensive purchase! I''d rather not have things sugar coated in those instances.

In SMTR - to me it''s say something nice or don''t say anything at all. There are some gorgeous rings on there - both large and small - are they all my style? NO of course not. And for the one that are not, I either don''t comment or say a simple Congrats and enjoy. I think everyone has the right to their own personal style and taste and that is going do differ person to person.
If I like a ring I will comment (yes often times with a WOW!) or other aspects of the ring that I find attractive or unique.

Anyway all in all I think PS is a fantastic resource. I''m so glad I found it!

 

[Maisie]

I am a ''wow'' person too. I will compliment a ring if I like it. I like most of them so I guess I say ''wow'' a lot!

 

[Bliss]

Hey meresal!

Yeah, so the SMTR thread reads:

Brag shamelessly about your engagement, anniversary or any other ring here. Pictures are mandatory!

Unless I''m not understanding correctly, it''s for appreciating the wide range of styles, sizes and shapes of sparklies and congratulating each other. Unless an honest opinion is specifically sought, I can''t see why snark should have any place there. That having been written, I don''t think the phrase "it''s not my style but I think it''s very pretty" is snark. I have never written those words, but I know I wouldn''t take it as such. I have a solitaire and it''s totally not everyone''s style. Not everyone likes chocolate! Or rum raisin! Solitaires aren''t everyone''s style -- which is why there are so many other awesome rings in the world... for us all to enjoy!

 

[Miranda]

Date: 7/3/2008 1:25:44 PM
Author: FrekeChild

Date: 7/3/2008 1:15:38 PM
Author: Miranda

Date: 7/3/2008 12:59:19 PM
Author: surfgirl

Date: 7/3/2008 12:34:26 PM
Author: FrekeChild
I do think that people who just post ''WOW!'' a hundred times a day need to reevaluate those wows. I''m pretty easily impressed by size, but I have distinct tastes that not many rings fill. I know I''d rather give an honest opinion over a ''WOW!'' any day. In real life, it''s very hard to get me to say ''WOW!''-there just aren''t that many things out there that do that. :::shrugging emoticon:::

Perhaps this is at the crux of what Pandora was talking about?

Maybe it is, but, I say ''WOW'' a lot in SMTR and I really mean it. I like lots of different styles of rings truly and honestly. I really mean every ''WOW'' I say. I just thought I''d offer a different side of the coin.

Now that I am thinking about it. There really has been a lot of hypersensitivity here lately.

I don''t really say ''Wow!'' on the board much though. In all actuality, I don''t even hang out in RT or SMTR all that much. It usually takes a OMC, OEC or something GINORMOUS to get *any* comments out of me. Or perhaps a thread that just keeps getting comments and therefore stays at the top. The real test of whether I like something is if I save pics of it. Basically, if I leave a comment, I mean what I say.

And I agree with you Miranda on the bolded part. In the LIW board, the SMTR, RT, etc. I don''t get it...

I just love how everybody is so different. As soon as I log into PS, SMTR is the first place I go. I''m with Skippy, it makes my day!

 

[coatimundi_org]

Date: 7/3/2008 1:15:38 PM
Author: Miranda

Date: 7/3/2008 12:59:19 PM

Author: surfgir

Date: 7/3/2008 12:34:26 PM

Author: FrekeChild

I do think that people who just post 'WOW!' a hundred times a day need to reevaluate those wows.
I'm pretty easily impressed by size, but I have distinct tastes that not many rings fill. I know I'd rather give an honest opinion over a 'WOW!' any day. In real life, it's very hard to get me to say 'WOW!'-there just aren't that many things out there that do that. :::shrugging emoticon:::

Perhaps this is at the crux of what Pandora was talking about?

Maybe it is, but, I say 'WOW' a lot in SMTR and I really mean it. I like lots of different styles of rings truly and honestly. I really mean every 'WOW' I say. I just thought I'd offer a different side of the coin.

Now that I am thinking about it. There really has been a lot of hypersensitivity here lately.

I say wow--not a hundred times a day, but maybe a couple.

I don't need to reevaluate anything. If I see something I like, I comment-it's genuine. Why assume that people's "wows" (I actually prefer "WHOA" to "WOW"--haHA!) are insincere--or need reevaluation. We're talking about the usage of the WOW? Come on, dudes!

(also, I like to congratulate people on engagements, anniversaries etc. Makes you feel good)

As for the assumptions of jealousy that Pandora is referring to--yes, that's silly.
If one asks for an honest opinion, then they should be able to handle it.

 

[purrfectpear]

There will always be some net-nannies who think they are the guardians of someone else''s feelings, or what is or isn''t OK to comment about.

My take is that if you actually care what an anonymous person on the internet says about your ring, your dress, your relationship, or anything about you, then you must not be very confident in your own taste?

People should not go out of their way to be rude, but they should also feel free to comment and express their honest feelings without the need for someone else to attempt to censor. One opinion is just as valid as another IMO.

I perceive that there IS a tendency on Pricescope to apply pressure on anyone who posts opinions that are not 100% sweetness and light. Just as I think the posters who insist that only positive posts are OK need some confidence, I also think that posters who get bent when someone tries to censor them could use some confidence.

If you are confident in your opinion, and you don''t think you''ve posted just to troll or be nasty, then why let a Pollyanna get to you?

Live and let live. Just post what YOU believe is honest and fair and stop worrying about whether someone else has been rude, or someone thinks you are rude.

It''s just the internet folks, not a popularity contest in high school.

 

[FrekeChild]

Date: 7/3/2008 2:16:12 PM
Author: Miranda
I just love how everybody is so different. As soon as I log into PS, SMTR is the first place I go. I''m with Skippy, it makes my day!

I''m just a gemstone person. And it seems as though most people don''t post their gemstones in SMTR. I know I haven''t. Having said that, I was so excited to see beau13''s new sapphire ring popping up in there!! I actually still don''t think I commented on it-but in that case it WAS jealousy. (I so wish I''d see it first! sigh...) But I''m still glad that I get to take part in her joy and admire the pics...

I''m just not a diamond girl...unless it''s a colored diamond, in which case, I''m there!

 

[FrekeChild]

Date: 7/3/2008 2:27:36 PM
Author: coatimundi
I say wow--not a hundred times a day, but maybe a couple.

I don''t need to reevaluate anything. If I see something I like, I comment-it''s genuine. Why assume that people''s ''wows'' (I actually prefer ''WHOA'' to ''WOW''--haHA!) are insincere--or need reevaluation. We''re talking about the usage of the WOW? Come on, dudes!
(also, I like to congratulate people on engagements, anniversaries etc. Makes you feel good)

As for the assumptions of jealousy that Pandora is referring to--yes, that''s silly.
If one asks for an honest opinion, then they should be able to handle it.

I''m not saying you or anyone really specific coati. I just get the feeling sometimes that there are posters out there who rack up hundreds if not thousands of posts saying only things like "Wow!" and to me that''s not much of a contribution to the site. I''ve said "Wow!" a good few many times myself. Usually when it''s something that I will likely never see the likes of, or anything that comes even close, in real life.

I guess it just bums me out that there are people out there who have nothing else to say but showering every single item with compliments.

 

[meresal]

Date: 7/3/2008 2:11:46 PM
Author: Bliss
Hey meresal!

Yeah, so the SMTR thread reads:

Brag shamelessly about your engagement, anniversary or any other ring here. Pictures are mandatory!

Unless I'm not understanding correctly, it's for appreciating the wide range of styles, sizes and shapes of sparklies and congratulating each other. Unless an honest opinion is specifically sought, I can't see why snark should have any place there. That having been written, I don't think the phrase 'it's not my style but I think it's very pretty' is snark. I have never written those words, but I know I wouldn't take it as such. I have a solitaire and it's totally not everyone's style. Not everyone likes chocolate! Or rum raisin! Solitaires aren't everyone's style -- which is why there are so many other awesome rings in the world... for us all to enjoy!

Key word being "Brag". I think that some members post pictures of their pieces asking for opinions, not really wanting opinions, in all actuality, their hoping that everything they recieve is just like "WOW's" that a newly engaged woman receives when she first posts her new bling. Hence causing, what shall now be refered to as, "The Honesty Aftermath".

To the OP, I apologize if your thread has gone off track.

I have yet to read anything regarding claims of jealousy, and I hope that I never do. I agree, that is completely uncalled for. I enjoy coming here to gawk, awe, and chat. I would hope no one is here intentionally to make others feel unwelcome.

 

[gwendolyn]

I was originally going to comment about how people have different tastes about everything (shoes, cars, houses, books, music, food), so why is this any different, but it IS different somehow. I think, at least with engagement rings (which seem to me the bulk of what people post and look for feedback on), there is so much wrapped up in what that ring means that people tend to take comments much more personally than they would about a pair of shoes or choice of sandwich.

I also think that it's difficult on a forum to gauge whether someone is being straightforward about what exactly they are seeking from the members here--sometimes people ask for honest feedback when they really want their fears allayed, or ask to be proven that they got a great deal (oftentimes from some friend/relative with a "connection") only to find out they haven't and it's past the return date. There's no tone on the internet, so we have to just go by what people say in their posts--even going by what forum threads are in isn't a foolproof plan because there are lots of posters who don't read the descriptions of each section before posting their queries (or maybe get overwhelmed by the number of choices and pick the one with "ring" in it, regardless of the type of response they want?

)

What irks me the most is, like Pandora, when people assume that everyone MUST love the biggest rock, or the blingiest setting, and if they don't, it must be envy. I'm sorry, but if I said I thought anyone who didn't *LOVE* my blue and silver Sketchers sneakers or my fuzzy pink pig slippers was silly or envious or lying to myself, you'd all think I was bonkers. Not everyone likes pigs, or blue. Tons of people (my girl Freke, most famously) ADORE high-heeled shoes. Do I? No, I hate them; they absolutely KILL my ankles, so I can't wear them. I love them on other people, but can't stand them for myself. Do I feel jealousy that they have cute heels and I don't? Of course not, because I'd be miserably unhappy with those same heels because they aren't ME. But I can still love them and appreciate their cuteness. Why on earth the same reasoning would not apply to engagement rings I have no idea. Assuming everyone is different except when it comes to jewelry is, in a word, ridiculous. I have absolutely no problem appreciating someone's ring, even if it is light years away from what I would choose for myself.

I also love to get excited for the people I know on here when they get engaged, whether their ring is what I would choose for myself or not. That's not just what the engagement is about! Here it is about the bling to a degree, but it's also about community and friends and being happy for one another. So I understand why some people may come across as doing nothing but congratulating, and I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

 

[trillionaire]

interesting thread. Maybe I don't read threads long enough to see most of the negative comments... I always felt like people gushed exceedingly about the beauty of everyone's rings, even ones that I thought were not very attractive. Funny thing is, I have on more than one occasion found myself wondering whether I would post picture of my ring on here... Once I have it, it's mine, and I have no need for validation or even adulation. I like Trillions, and they are decidedly NOT most people's style. I would hate to subject such a loving gift to any kind of scrutiny, and I think that my SO would think that it was in very poor taste to do so. (He has said that he doesn't like when women flaunt their rings) I love looking at rings and love to see how enthusiastic all of the different ring recipients are, but everyone is different, and I certainly wouldn't want to offend SO! I've posted pictures of different settings that I was considering, and the feedback on that alone, which was all positive, was almost too much for me! I'd hate to second guess my e-ring based on the comments of others.

And I am not easily influenced by the opinions of others, but I am not immune either...

I do think that "not my style" is a perfectly reasonable response, but anything more negative than that, IMHO, does not really need to be said, even if an opinion is solicited.

I do agree, however, that people should not make size assumptions. I went to a jewelry store, and was promptly handed 1.5-2 carat rings to "get me all excited," I suppose. I couldn't imagine anything LESS me. I think 1ct is perfect... not too big, not to small, and I expect that other women have their preferences too. A nice ring is a wonderful thing, but it is not everything, and their are other things that SO and I would prefer to allocate our resources towards (houses, school loans, etc). I hope everyone grants other posters the understanding that our perspectives are all DIFFERENT, but we share a love of BEAUTY!

 

[SarahLovesJS]

Date: 7/3/2008 2:53:07 PM
Author: gwendolyn
I was originally going to comment about how people have different tastes about everything (shoes, cars, houses, books, music, food), so why is this any different, but it IS different somehow. I think, at least with engagement rings (which seem to me the bulk of what people post and look for feedback on), there is so much wrapped up in what that ring means that people tend to take comments much more personally than they would about a pair of shoes or choice of sandwich.


I also think that it''s difficult on a forum to gauge whether someone is being straightforward about what exactly they are seeking from the members here--sometimes people ask for honest feedback when they really want their fears allayed, or ask to be proven that they got a great deal (oftentimes from some friend/relative with a ''connection'') only to find out they haven''t and it''s past the return date. There''s no tone on the internet, so we have to just go by what people say in their posts--even going by what forum threads are in isn''t a foolproof plan because there are lots of posters who don''t read the descriptions of each section before posting their queries (or maybe get overwhelmed by the number of choices and pick the one with ''ring'' in it, regardless of the type of response they want?

)


What irks me the most is, like Pandora, when people assume that everyone MUST love the biggest rock, or the blingiest setting, and if they don''t, it must be envy. I''m sorry, but if I said I thought anyone who didn''t *LOVE* my blue and silver Sketchers sneakers or my fuzzy pink pig slippers was silly or envious or lying to myself, you''d all think I was bonkers. Not everyone likes pigs, or blue. Tons of people (my girl Freke, most famously) ADORE high-heeled shoes. Do I? No, I hate them; they absolutely KILL my ankles, so I can''t wear them. I love them on other people, but can''t stand them for myself. Do I feel jealousy that they have cute heels and I don''t? Of course not, because I''d be miserably unhappy with those same heels because they aren''t ME. But I can still love them and appreciate their cuteness. Why on earth the same reasoning would not apply to engagement rings I have no idea. Assuming everyone is different except when it comes to jewelry is, in a word, ridiculous. I have absolutely no problem appreciating someone''s ring, even if it is light years away from what I would choose for myself.


I also love to get excited for the people I know on here when they get engaged, whether their ring is what I would choose for myself or not. That''s not just what the engagement is about! Here it is about the bling to a degree, but it''s also about community and friends and being happy for one another. So I understand why some people may come across as doing nothing but congratulating, and I don''t think there''s anything wrong with that.

Ditto! Bigger isn''t always better, I definitely get that aspect of what Pandora is saying as well. But I think that''s more of a society problem in general than just a PS thing. My ring is a .70 and we looked at 1 ct rings..but the 1 cts just weren''t as pretty as my .7! I actually *gasp* didn''t want the larger ring. I love my .7 and I''m very proud of it!

One day I want a larger ring, but not for a long time. That''s a big anniversary upgrade!

One of my family members..the engaged one..wouldn''t show me her ring like she kind of avoided it or something because I think she was afraid mine was bigger or better or something I don''t know. I don''t know why else someone would be nervous about it. Which I''m not sure if her ring is bigger or not, but I think that''s so silly because I don''t really care! I was just excited for her and wanted to see the ring they picked out together, who cares what size it is.

 

[Dancing Fire]

Date: 7/3/2008 12:01:21 PM
Author: Pandora II
If all, you want is a love fest, the post an ''Admire my Ring'' thread and DON''T ASK FOR OPINIONS.

I would never post anything other than a positive comment in one of the former threads - as I agree don''t say anything if you have nothing nice to say - BUT if someone asks for opinions I will give mine as they obviously want honest - not just a load of ''the important thing is that you love it'' comments. Which frankly are just as bad as it basically says ''I don''t care for it, but if you like it then it will do.''

Granted some people may just want validation, but how are we supposed to tell the difference???

If they love it then why would they ask for opinions after it''s been bought?

i would never give an opinion on a setting styles b/c there''re no wrong settings styles.it maybe be ugly looking to me

but everybody got different taste.

now if you ask...."did my BF paid too much for this diamond?" then i''ll tell you the truth even after purchase,cuz maybe he can still get a refund on the stone.

 

[ringster]

Date: 7/3/2008 2:53:07 PM
Author: gwendolyn

What irks me the most is, like Pandora, when people assume that everyone MUST love the biggest rock, or the blingiest setting, and if they don''t, it must be envy.

this bothers me big time!

 

[pjean]

I think sometimes the "they must be jealous" statement is made about people who have in real life made rude comments about a poster''s ring. You know, "ignore them, they''re just jealous". It''s a reasonable, if not terribly original, thing to say. When I have seen the statement, it wasn''t intended to apply to comments made in that thread, but rather in response to comments that have occasioned a thread.

 

[steph72276]

Life is too short for negativity and rudeness. Period.

 

[tradergirl]

I just laugh at the comments that if you don't gush over some cartoonishly large rock and/or Las Vegas style setting, you're jealous.

My personal taste is that Ellen's aquamarine ring is jewelry perfection in every way. I do frequent the controversial threads because it's kind of interesting to watch the tug of war going on. This is a very strange place among internet forums. It seems that you have to be very careful not to step on the toes of the established queen bees here and heaven forbid you express an opinion on anything.

 

[musey]

Date: 7/3/2008 5:16:18 PM
Author: tradergirl
This is a very strange place among internet forums. It seems that you have to be very careful not to step on the toes of the established queen bees here and heaven forbid you express an opinion on anything.

I've noticed that too, though less recently than when I first joined. Or maybe I'm just used to it now.

FWIW, I think people don't read the initial post carefully enough, in a lot of cases. If you're going to give an opinion, that's a must. I've seen "What do you think?" threads that, in the first post, the topic starter says something along the lines of "I'm not sure about the size of the melee" or something... then someone replies saying "It looks a little crooked, and do you prefer the yellowish warmth of the center stone?" That upsets me a little, because then the poor OP will be getting opinions, like they asked, but not in the area they were looking for opinions on. I think real-life codes of behavior can apply here

If that makes any sense.

Personally I think that, unless expressly asked for, opinions belong in RockyTalk and only strokes belong in SMTR. When I do (rarely) visit SMTR, I only comment on rings I do like--if I don't like it I just don't respond.

 

[TravelingGal]

Date: 7/3/2008 5:20:19 PM
Author: musey

Date: 7/3/2008 5:16:18 PM
Author: tradergirl
This is a very strange place among internet forums. It seems that you have to be very careful not to step on the toes of the established queen bees here and heaven forbid you express an opinion on anything.

I''ve noticed that too, though less recently than when I first joined. Or maybe I''m just used to it now.

This is why I wear steel toed shoes.

(which is not to say I am queen-like nor bee-like.)

 

[neatfreak]

Date: 7/3/2008 5:16:18 PM
Author: tradergirl
I just laugh at the comments that if you don't gush over some cartoonishly large rock and/or Las Vegas style setting, you're jealous.


My personal taste is that Ellen's aquamarine ring is jewelry perfection in every way. I do frequent the controversial threads because it's kind of interesting to watch the tug of war going on. This is a very strange place among internet forums. It seems that you have to be very careful not to step on the toes of the established queen bees here and heaven forbid you express an opinion on anything.

I really don't think this has to do with anything about "queen bees" here. I think people have become hypersensitive recently though...

The "queen bees" you might speak of here, at least the long term members, know when to gush/say something nice, and when to analyze. I think that is the key here...if someone asks for opinions WE GIVE THEM. If someone posts their ring and says "I LOVE IT ISN'T IT GORGEOUS?!?!" then you either say something nice or nothing at all. But when people ask for opinions normally it has been VERY ok to give honest opinions...lately some people are getting their panties in a twist when they ask for opinions and then get really mad when some people don't like their choice. And they are usually NOT long time members...

 

[Fly Girl]

Date: 7/3/2008 2:59:11 PM
Author: trillionaire
interesting thread. Maybe I don''t read threads long enough to see most of the negative comments... I always felt like people gushed exceedingly about the beauty of everyone''s rings, even ones that I thought were not very attractive. Funny thing is, I have on more than one occasion found myself wondering whether I would post picture of my ring on here... Once I have it, it''s mine, and I have no need for validation or even adulation. I like Trillions, and they are decidedly NOT most people''s style. I would hate to subject such a loving gift to any kind of scrutiny, and I think that my SO would think that it was in very poor taste to do so. (He has said that he doesn''t like when women flaunt their rings) I love looking at rings and love to see how enthusiastic all of the different ring recipients are, but everyone is different, and I certainly wouldn''t want to offend SO! I''ve posted pictures of different settings that I was considering, and the feedback on that alone, which was all positive, was almost too much for me! I''d hate to second guess my e-ring based on the comments of others.

And I am not easily influenced by the opinions of others, but I am not immune either...

I do think that ''not my style'' is a perfectly reasonable response, but anything more negative than that, IMHO, does not really need to be said, even if an opinion is solicited.

I do agree, however, that people should not make size assumptions. I went to a jewelry store, and was promptly handed 1.5-2 carat rings to ''get me all excited,'' I suppose. I couldn''t imagine anything LESS me. I think 1ct is perfect... not too big, not to small, and I expect that other women have their preferences too. A nice ring is a wonderful thing, but it is not everything, and their are other things that SO and I would prefer to allocate our resources towards (houses, school loans, etc). I hope everyone grants other posters the understanding that our perspectives are all DIFFERENT, but we share a love of BEAUTY!

Trillionaire - I certainly hope that you will post pictures of your beautiful ring when you get it! In fact, I am looking forward to seeing where you end up, and I will be disappointed if you don''t post.

I think it is important to show a range of beautiful rings on this forum. I know that my taste does not trend to the current most popular styles, but I did go ahead and post pictures of my little green diamond ring last summer. I wasn''t asking for approval, (and all comments received were in good taste and were most appreciated!) I just wanted to share something different than the norm. I know that a lot of people here do enjoy seeing that!

 

[musey]

Date: 7/3/2008 5:25:17 PM
Author: Fly Girl

Date: 7/3/2008 2:59:11 PM
Author: trillionaire
Funny thing is, I have on more than one occasion found myself wondering whether I would post picture of my ring on here... Once I have it, it's mine, and I have no need for validation or even adulation. I like Trillions, and they are decidedly NOT most people's style.

Trillionaire - I certainly hope that you will post pictures of your beautiful ring when you get it! In fact, I am looking forward to seeing where you end up, and I will be disappointed if you don't post.

I definitely understand how trill feels, and I have withheld (and will continue to do so in the future) certain pieces that mean a lot to me, because I have no interest in validation OR criticism. Though it's a shame, because the more pictures we post, the more ideas browsers will get for their own projects (ETA: Which the only reason I do post other pieces).

 

[MonkeyPie]

Date: 7/3/2008 5:25:01 PM
Author: neatfreak

Date: 7/3/2008 5:16:18 PM
Author: tradergirl
I just laugh at the comments that if you don''t gush over some cartoonishly large rock and/or Las Vegas style setting, you''re jealous.


My personal taste is that Ellen''s aquamarine ring is jewelry perfection in every way. I do frequent the controversial threads because it''s kind of interesting to watch the tug of war going on. This is a very strange place among internet forums. It seems that you have to be very careful not to step on the toes of the established queen bees here and heaven forbid you express an opinion on anything.

I really don''t think this has to do with anything about ''queen bees'' here. I think people have become hypersensitive recently though...

The ''queen bees'' you might speak of here, at least the long term members, know when to gush/say something nice, and when to analyze. I think that is the key here...if someone asks for opinions WE GIVE THEM. If someone posts their ring and says ''I LOVE IT ISN''T IT GORGEOUS?!?!'' then you either say something nice or nothing at all. But when people ask for opinions normally it has been VERY ok to give honest opinions...lately some people are getting their panties in a twist when they ask for opinions and then get really mad when some people don''t like their choice. And they are usually NOT long time members...

I think this is a key comment. I can''t tell you how many forums have had this issue - you have the people that have been around for years, and then you have newbies. And sometimes the older people forget that the newbies need reassurance to be a part of a new group, even if it''s only online. And if they get pissy even if you go out of your way to be nice, so what? If that''s how they are, then they likely won''t be around for long anyway.

 

[AGBF]

Date: 7/3/2008 5:16:18 PM

Author: tradergirl

I do frequent the controversial threads because it''s kind of interesting to watch the tug of war going on. This is a very strange place among internet forums. It seems that you have to be very careful not to step on the toes of the established queen bees here and heaven forbid you express an opinion on anything.

Gosh...I must live in an alternate universe. Except on the politics forum I never see anything controversial and I haven''t a clue who the "queen bees" are. In the threads I frequent I find lots of women and a few men who really like nice diamonds, colored gems, and high karat gold jewelry. Usually these people are happy for me if I am able to buy something nice or have something nice made and usually they are happy to share their jewelry with me.



Deb