Worst Insult --- Best Compliment

[hlmr]

An insult made by my grade six 'boyfriend' regarding my new haircut being better than the rats nest I had before sticks with me for some reason.

A comment made to me by my sister regarding not doing right by our mother on one occasion, hurt me immensely, and when my son who was not getting his way, told me he hated me. Of course, he didn't really mean it, but it sure cut me to the quick.

The best compliments have been from my DH, my family and friends regarding my loyalty, listening skills and ability to see through to the heart of issues and give good advice.

Sevens what about you?

 

[swingirl]

Okay, stevens one, your turn!

 

[Kaleigh]

My old french teacher who was a quite a character in her day, said Ahhhh, Moyair ( maiden name pronounced in French) you will never get married girrrl. Your chest, it's a like 2 peas in a bowl of soup!!! (meaning a pirates delight, a sunken chest)

. She had a big old wart on her tongue that she used to chew. It was all I could do to pay attetention to what she was trying to teach...

Best compliment?? They have come from family and friends. But just last week, hubby was staring at me. I said what's wrong?? We were out for dinner. He said, you are so beautiful. And went on to say some other things that are too sweet.

 

[hlmr]

Date: 2/22/2007 11:27:49 PM
Author: Kaleigh
My old french teacher who was a quite a character in her day, said Ahhhh, Moyair ( maiden name pronounced in French) you will never get married girrrl. Your chest, it''s a like 2 peas in a bowl of soup!!! (meaning a pirates delight, a sunken chest)

. She had a big old wart on her tongue that she used to chew. It was all I could do to pay attetention to what she was trying to teach...

Best compliment?? They have come from family and friends. But just last week, hubby was staring at me. I said what''s wrong?? We were out for dinner. He said, you are so beautiful. And went on to say some other things that are too sweet.

Awww!! That''s so sweet kaleigh!

My DH gave me a vday card that really touched my heart last week. Gotta love those guys we married, eh?!

Me thinks they get better with age, no?!

 

[monarch64]

Best compliments: (1st reminds me of Kcourselle''s) when I got married and was in the bridal suite restroom with my dress on and everything, checking my makeup in a different lighting situation, two of my flower girls (very young, 3 and 5, who didn''t know me very well at all) were in there, and one exclaimed to my cousin''s wife: "mommy, look at the wedding girl, she''s beeeeyooooteefull!" Oh, just made my heart nearly jump out of my chest!

2nd: (totally random like Mara''s) I was working at a Casual Corner in college and ringing up some young ladies. One of them (and keep in mind I was in a smallish town in the midwest) says to me: "are you from New York or something? You look like a model!" I think I had to have someone grease my head to get out the door of the mall that night, lol.

Worst insult was probably from my father when I was 19. I''d gone to college for 3 semesters, only to drop out because I hated the first major I chose (radio/t.v./film--I wanted to be a news anchor

) and while I was at home contemplating going back to school my dad had this frank conversation with me in which he stated "some people just aren''t cut out for college. Why don''t you look into something community college related, such as interior decorating or floral design or something?" Argh. It pissed me off enough to make me go back 6 months later and graduate pretty much on time anyway...with a B.S. in fashion merchandising/marketing (yeah, I''m no doctor). To this day I wonder if my dad still thinks I have a bulls&*t degree instead of a bachelors of science. This from a man who went to 4 different colleges (two of them Big 10 schools, one small private college, and Daytona beach jr. college) for 7 years but never got a degree in ANYTHING. I think he still has no clue what kind of impact he had on me by sharing his "wise" opinion.

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 2/22/2007 11:38:35 PM
Author: hlmr

Date: 2/22/2007 11:27:49 PM
Author: Kaleigh
My old french teacher who was a quite a character in her day, said Ahhhh, Moyair ( maiden name pronounced in French) you will never get married girrrl. Your chest, it''s a like 2 peas in a bowl of soup!!! (meaning a pirates delight, a sunken chest)

. She had a big old wart on her tongue that she used to chew. It was all I could do to pay attetention to what she was trying to teach...

Best compliment?? They have come from family and friends. But just last week, hubby was staring at me. I said what''s wrong?? We were out for dinner. He said, you are so beautiful. And went on to say some other things that are too sweet.

Awww!! That''s so sweet kaleigh!

My DH gave me a vday card that really touched my heart last week. Gotta love those guys we married, eh?!

Me thinks they get better with age, no?!

Absolutely!!!

 

[KristyDarling]

My worst insult is kinda similar to Jorman's. Some of you may know that the "height" of my musical career occurred between the ages of 8 and 16. I traveled a lot and performed at the world's best concert halls and had the privilege of meeting a lot of important people blah blah blah. I wasn't in school much but during my freshman year in high school, whenever I was in town, I would play with the school's orchestra. The orch director seemed pretty happy. Then, I quit after freshman year due to conflicts with my performing schedule outside of school. On the first day of rehearsal during what would've been my 2nd year, the orch director made a formal announcement to the WHOLE high school orchestra: "KristyDarling has quit the orchestra because she's a high-and-mighty concert violinist and thinks she's too good for us." Uhhhh, huh? I quit because I couldn't attend any rehearsals! What an @ss. Of course, this made its way back to me and I was both mortified AND furious.

Best compliment. When my kids get all thrilled to bits when I come home after work. They jump around and scream, hug my legs and yell, "Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay!"

I'm envious of all of you who get adoring compliments from your hubbies. I *wish* my hubby would do that but he's not the type. The other day, I asked him why he has never, EVER called me beautiful in 10 years together. He said, "that word is just not in my vocabulary. Isn't 'pretty' good enough?"

 

[KristyDarling]

Date: 2/22/2007 11:41:25 PM
Author: monarch64
Worst insult was probably from my father when I was 19. I'd gone to college for 3 semesters, only to drop out because I hated the first major I chose (radio/t.v./film--I wanted to be a news anchor

) and while I was at home contemplating going back to school my dad had this frank conversation with me in which he stated 'some people just aren't cut out for college. Why don't you look into something community college related, such as interior decorating or floral design or something?' Argh. It pissed me off enough to make me go back 6 months later and graduate pretty much on time anyway...with a B.S. in fashion merchandising/marketing (yeah, I'm no doctor). To this day I wonder if my dad still thinks I have a bulls&*t degree instead of a bachelors of science. This from a man who went to 4 different colleges (two of them Big 10 schools, one small private college, and Daytona beach jr. college) for 7 years but never got a degree in ANYTHING. I think he still has no clue what kind of impact he had on me by sharing his 'wise' opinion.

Monnie -- your dad sounds like my dad!!! No matter how hard I tried and how much tutoring I got, I failed AP calculus during my senior year, so Dad decided that I would never amount to anything other than being a musician. (never mind that I got straight As in everything else, including AP bio, physics, and chem) He said, "You don't have what it takes to succeed in business, law, or medicine....so why don't you just go to college for music. You have no other talents."

The worst part was, at the time I took that to heart. I felt SO horrible about failing calculus that I thought I was a dummy and not suited to do anything but music. That's one of my biggest regrets now....that I had sold myself short.

 

[diamondfan]

When I was in middle school I was very thin, no shape at all, I had curly brown hair and glasses and braces. NOT a good look. When I got into high school I had filled out a bit, started highlighting and blowing out my hair and got contacts, braces came off. A guy friend of my older sister''s was over at my house studying with her in the kitchen, and I came in from somewhere to get a snack and he literally looked up at me and had his jaw on the floor. He did not say anything for a while and as I walked out my sister said, You can put your tongue back now, she is my little sister...and he said, Wow, she sure grew up well! Needless to say, I was flattered. (He wanted to ask me out and my sister told him NO WAY).

The worst insult I have gotten is that I tend to be pretty tough about some things, I can tend to be pretty unforgiving if someone really crosses a line with me...so being told I am too stubborn or too inflexible, it hurts, because I think I am just following standards that work for me. I will take a lot, but once a final line is crossed, forget it. I have removed people from my life for hurting me over and over, and yet I am considered a b*itch about that sometimes. I just see it as it is my right to decide who is in my life, and if someone violates me over and over, I can decide that I am finished...but the person on the other end thinks I should just "get over it" and to me, that just means I am saying it is okay for them to keep doing it. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.

 

[hlmr]

Date: 2/22/2007 11:50:39 PM
Author: KristyDarling
My worst insult is kinda similar to Jorman''s. Some of you may know that the ''height'' of my musical career occurred between the ages of 8 and 16. I traveled a lot and performed at the world''s best concert halls and had the privilege of meeting a lot of important people blah blah blah. I wasn''t in school much but during my freshman year in high school, whenever I was in town, I would play with the school''s orchestra. The orch director seemed pretty happy. Then, I quit after freshman year due to conflicts with my performing schedule outside of school. On the first day of rehearsal during what would''ve been my 2nd year, the orch director made a formal announcement to the WHOLE high school orchestra: ''KristyDarling has quit the orchestra because she''s a high-and-mighty concert violinist and thinks she''s too good for us.'' Uhhhh, huh? I quit because I couldn''t attend any rehearsals! What an @ss. Of course, this made its way back to me and I was both mortified AND furious.

Best compliment. When my kids get all thrilled to bits when I come home after work. They jump around and scream, hug my legs and yell, ''Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay!''

I''m envious of all of you who get adoring compliments from your hubbies. I *wish* my hubby would do that but he''s not the type. The other day, I asked him why he has never, EVER called me beautiful in 10 years together. He said, ''that word is just not in my vocabulary. Isn''t ''pretty'' good enough?''

KD, that remark speaks volumes about ''a wanna be but wasn''t ever good enough'' violinist who was jealous of a talented young lady. That was such a nasty remark to make to a young impressionable student.

Teachers have no idea sometimes how their comments can hurt a student''s blossoming self esteem and stick with them for a life time.

Perhaps your hubby will get mushier with age, but it sounds like your kids already know the score!

 

[monarch64]

Date: 2/22/2007 11:57:37 PM
Author: KristyDarling

Date: 2/22/2007 11:41:25 PM
Author: monarch64
Worst insult was probably from my father when I was 19. I''d gone to college for 3 semesters, only to drop out because I hated the first major I chose (radio/t.v./film--I wanted to be a news anchor

) and while I was at home contemplating going back to school my dad had this frank conversation with me in which he stated ''some people just aren''t cut out for college. Why don''t you look into something community college related, such as interior decorating or floral design or something?'' Argh. It pissed me off enough to make me go back 6 months later and graduate pretty much on time anyway...with a B.S. in fashion merchandising/marketing (yeah, I''m no doctor). To this day I wonder if my dad still thinks I have a bulls&*t degree instead of a bachelors of science. This from a man who went to 4 different colleges (two of them Big 10 schools, one small private college, and Daytona beach jr. college) for 7 years but never got a degree in ANYTHING. I think he still has no clue what kind of impact he had on me by sharing his ''wise'' opinion.

Monnie -- your dad sounds like my dad!!! No matter how hard I tried and how much tutoring I got, I failed AP calculus during my senior year, so Dad decided that I would never amount to anything other than being a musician. (never mind that I got straight As in everything else, including AP bio, physics, and chem) He said, ''You don''t have what it takes to succeed in business, law, or medicine....so why don''t you just go to college for music. You have no other talents.''

The worst part was, at the time I took that to heart. I felt SO horrible about failing calculus that I thought I was a dummy and not suited to do anything but music. That''s one of my biggest regrets now....that I had sold myself short.

You know what is even funnier--my parents actually wanted me to pursue a career in music--I was a pianist, and a good one, and they wanted me to go to Indiana University school of music! It''s crazy how much our parents shape our minds and perspectives about these things. It actually just amazes me how the need for approval from your own parents can cause your self esteem to hang in the balance...and have lasting effects.

From what I''ve read from you Kristy, you''re no dummy, lol!

 

[KristyDarling]

Awww, thanks HLMR and Monnie!

Monnie, I didn''t know that you play piano! I actually went to IU School of Music for one summer....for their college prep piano academy! (I wanted a break from violin violin violin) I had an AWESOME time and made some good friends. I studied with Leonard Hokanson while I was there. Great man!

 

[KristyDarling]

Date: 2/23/2007 12:01:35 AM
Author: diamondfan
The worst insult I have gotten is that I tend to be pretty tough about some things, I can tend to be pretty unforgiving if someone really crosses a line with me...so being told I am too stubborn or too inflexible, it hurts, because I think I am just following standards that work for me. I will take a lot, but once a final line is crossed, forget it. I have removed people from my life for hurting me over and over, and yet I am considered a b*itch about that sometimes. I just see it as it is my right to decide who is in my life, and if someone violates me over and over, I can decide that I am finished...but the person on the other end thinks I should just ''get over it'' and to me, that just means I am saying it is okay for them to keep doing it. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.

I would consider that toughness quite a compliment, and defintiely not an insult!

I admire people who are able to stand up for themselves and keep toxic people out of their lives.

 

[diamondfan]

Thanks, KD, my internet wise one!

I will just say, the toxic vampires, as I call them, do NOT tend to see it that way...but I will take being called an unforgiving b*itch anyday, if it means I do not have to be tortured or hurt. It is just amazing to me though how the toxic person can spin things so THEY look like the victim, and get all the sympathy til the real story comes out (can you tell I am talking about a very specific person?!) They go on a campaign to win sympathy and lie and mislead people to get it...because making me look like a cold hearted witch with lies and bs is much better than admitting your flaws!

 

[KristyDarling]

Ugh, I know the personality type you''re talking about!! I can''t STAND those manipulative ones. It can be hard to not let them bother me.

I''m still puzzling over how you and her came out of the same womb?!?!?

 

[diamondfan]

KD, I ask myself (and my mother) that ALL the time!!

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 2/23/2007 12:37:19 AM
Author: KristyDarling
Ugh, I know the personality type you''re talking about!! I can''t STAND those manipulative ones. It can be hard to not let them bother me.

I''m still puzzling over how you and her came out of the same womb?!?!?

I know, they are complete opposites. DF, you gotta move on and close the book on her. She adds nothing to your life. You have a wonderful family, and friends . Let her drown in her own venom. I have no words for her. But it''s still on your mind, and to be healthy you have to let go to some point. It''s time to close the book and be done with it. Don''t go back and open the book. It''s done. Hope that makes sense.

 

[Mara]

lol gotta love grandmas and their frank comments....a few gems from the past years *pinching my butt* 'you've got a lot of padding back here'.... or the other day 'are you gaining weight?' (just as my mom 2 days before told me i looked too thin lol)....or *speaking to Greg* 'that mara is SO mean isn't she?'...lol totally trying to stir the pot. we get a huge kick out of her and we don't take offense anymore but MAN!

 

[Mannequin]

I can''t recall many insults, so I guess that''s a good thing.

The best compliment I have ever received from a guy is that I was "a word from an angel''s lips made flesh." Um, he was a poetic type... it meant a lot coming from him!

I''d also have to say that the comments and support I have received in the aftermath of my broken engagement has been a true compliment to my character. My family, friends, coworkers, and others have all remarked on my strength and my self-awareness, and those are two things I am proud of about myself. I''m just continuing to take things one day at a time and enjoying the company of friends and family and a new guy here and there. The one I am currently seeing says I have amazing eyes and that I am quite possibly the funniest person he has ever met. Hahaha...

 

[diamondfan]

Date: 2/23/2007 12:50:37 AM
Author: Kaleigh

Date: 2/23/2007 12:37:19 AM

Author: KristyDarling

Ugh, I know the personality type you''re talking about!! I can''t STAND those manipulative ones. It can be hard to not let them bother me.


I''m still puzzling over how you and her came out of the same womb?!?!?

I know, they are complete opposites. DF, you gotta move on and close the book on her. She adds nothing to your life. You have a wonderful family, and friends . Let her drown in her own venom. I have no words for her. But it''s still on your mind, and to be healthy you have to let go to some point. It''s time to close the book and be done with it. Don''t go back and open the book. It''s done. Hope that makes sense.

I hear ya, Kaleigh! It was NOT a page turner that is for sure...

 

[musey]

Hmm, first ones that come to mind?

Worst: In high school, a girl who liked my then-boyfriend told him that he shouldn't date me anymore because I was "so pale she looks like she's from Canada" (really random, I know, but I hardly ever show my legs to this day

)

Best: A saleslady at Fred Segal "tipped off" a paparazzo about me while I was shopping. The guy followed me around taking pictures for almost 10 minutes and I was really confused... I finally asked him why he was taking pictures of me and he said that the saleslady told him "she's so pretty, she must be a celebrity" but neither of them could figure out who I was. So he was taking pictures of me just in case his boss could figure it out later! Made my day. Well, made my LIFE more like!!!

Then I went home and told my then-roommate and she just said "really? that's so weird!"

talk about ruining the compliment.

 

[anchor31]

Date: 2/23/2007 1:56:25 AM
Author: musey
Hmm, first ones that come to mind?

Worst: In high school, a girl who liked my then-boyfriend told him that he shouldn''t date me anymore because I was ''so pale she looks like she''s from Canada'' (really random, I know, but I hardly ever show my legs to this day

)

Best: A saleslady at Fred Segal ''tipped off'' a paparazzo about me while I was shopping. The guy followed me around taking pictures for almost 10 minutes and I was really confused... I finally asked him why he was taking pictures of me and he said that the saleslady told him ''she''s so pretty, she must be a celebrity'' but neither of them could figure out who I was. So he was taking pictures of me just in case his boss could figure it out later! Made my day. Well, made my LIFE more like!!!

Then I went home and told my then-roommate and she just said ''really? that''s so weird!''

talk about ruining the compliment.

What?

 

[hlmr]

Date: 2/23/2007 7:35:23 AM
Author: anchor31

Date: 2/23/2007 1:56:25 AM
Author: musey
Hmm, first ones that come to mind?

Worst: In high school, a girl who liked my then-boyfriend told him that he shouldn''t date me anymore because I was ''so pale she looks like she''s from Canada'' (really random, I know, but I hardly ever show my legs to this day

)

Best: A saleslady at Fred Segal ''tipped off'' a paparazzo about me while I was shopping. The guy followed me around taking pictures for almost 10 minutes and I was really confused... I finally asked him why he was taking pictures of me and he said that the saleslady told him ''she''s so pretty, she must be a celebrity'' but neither of them could figure out who I was. So he was taking pictures of me just in case his boss could figure it out later! Made my day. Well, made my LIFE more like!!!

Then I went home and told my then-roommate and she just said ''really? that''s so weird!''

talk about ruining the compliment.

What?

Oh come on Anchor, you know how pale we all are up in here Canada, living in our igloos, where the sun only shines a couple of times a year!

 

[dmbfan]

One of the most memeorable compliment that I received was during my HS 10 yr reunion.

We were all just hanging out talking and catching up with everyone and this one guy (Not a good friend, but always talk to him) told me that I was one of the few people he wanted to see at the reuinon, he said I was always really cool to him. That made me feel really good, I always try to treat people right and to have another guy, from HS and after 10 yrs to still think highly of me made me realized that it pays off how you treat people.

 

[canuk-gal]

Date: 2/22/2007 11:50:39 PM
Author:
Best compliment. When my kids get all thrilled to bits when I come home after work. They jump around and scream, hug my legs and yell, ''Yay! Yay! Yay! Yay!''

I''m envious of all of you who get adoring compliments from your hubbies. I *wish* my hubby would do that but he''s not the type. The other day, I asked him why he has never, EVER called me beautiful in 10 years together. He said, ''that word is just not in my vocabulary. Isn''t ''pretty'' good enough?''

HI KD:

You are in fine company, as my DH never say that either. His idea of a compliment is to pinch my behind and say that I am "so sexy". Or since he is infatuated with Madonna, to state my body is a "fit" as hers. Ya right! What every happened to the classic "you look beautiful"? Oh well. It is what it is.

cheers--Sharon

 

[Ellen]

Date: 2/22/2007 11:11:43 PM
Author: swingirl
Okay, sevens one, your turn!

Yes.

 

[Kaleigh]

Date: 2/23/2007 10:35:24 AM
Author: Ellen

Date: 2/22/2007 11:11:43 PM
Author: swingirl
Okay, sevens one, your turn!

Yes.

Yeah your turn missy!!!!!

 

[Independent Gal]

This is a wonderful thread. Particularly interesting to see how parents and teachers affect us without realizing it.

Best compliments:

1) When I first shed the clothes in front of a b/f he said 'Oh my heavens. You look like...Eve'.
2) An older male friend of mine who's a VP of a large corporation and rather no-nonsense, bottom line driven, and sometimes reactionary, said to me once 'I love being around you because you make me want to be a better person. I never took ethics seriously until I met you.'
3) M. wakes up in the middle of the night and half asleep reaches toward me and says 'Beautiful! So beautiful.' and falls right back to sleep.

Worst insults:
1) When I was 20 or so, my step-parent said I was 'High maintenance'. He definitely didn't mean it to hurt me. But like some of you, that then sent me on a mission to become someone who wasn't, partly because his approval was so important to me. And it REALLY shook my self-esteem to think I was someone who was 'difficult'. I'm so glad I'm not anymore though!
2) Far worse: I was once in an awkward situation involving a man and a luggage cart. I was having terrible trouble figuring out how to free the thing and the man tried to help me and I got even more frazzled with him. I tried to make a joke about being 'mechanically incompetent' and my dad, who was there, said, just loud enough for me to hear, but under his breath 'Or SOCIALLY incompetent.' That hurt me for years.

 

[metro]

Both came from my mother:

Compliment: My mother was taking me to my 7th grade dance when she turned me and told me that I was a very beautiful girl.

Insult: My mother was angry with me for some reason or another and called me a fat ass. I had gained a lot of weight that summer from anti-depressents (go figure) and was getting teased a lot by kids at school (I was 16 yrs old). It was heart-breaking.


On a lighter note:

I worked as a cocktail waitress when I was 20 yrs. old and some old man told me I had the sexiest overbite he's ever seen

Umm, I don't have an overbite.

 

[KristyDarling]

Sevens -- your turn!!!

I love reading everyone''s posts. This is a fun thread.

I just thought of a couple more, both from my DH.

Worst insult: when we first started dating, he said that the true measure of a woman''s attractiveness is how good she looks in jeans. I put on my favorite pair for him, and he looked at me for a long time without saying anything. Then he said, "Do you have, like, really short legs or something?"

He''s STILL paying for that one!

Best compliment: he says if I hadn''t entered his life, he''d still be a socially inept, immature guy probably still stuck in his old dead-end job. He says he owes his career success to my supportiveness.