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Would you be disappointed with an eternity band as ER?

Would you be disappointed with an eternity band as ER?

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MRBXXXFVVS1

Brilliant_Rock
Joined
Dec 5, 2019
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The chic ER thread made me wonder if you would be disappointed if you got an eternity band as your ER?

I realize many will think "I'm just happy to get engaged to the person I love, doesn't matter what the ring is." But, if we think specifically only about the ring itself, knowing that a more traditional ring could have been an option, would you be disappointed with an eternity band as your ER?

I personally would be happy to be engaged to DH with or without a ring, but talking about rings specifically, I definitely would be disappointed with an eternity band as my ER. I love eternity bands otherwise though, as anniversary or other special occasion gifts! As I'm very sentimental, I never plan on upgrading my ER, but I'm open to alternate/additional ERs. If I didn't get an ER or my DH couldn't afford one, I would buy one for myself!
 
I think id be ok with it, IF it was a temporary thing until we could afford to get my solitaire. AND it was a reeeaaallly nice one that I know i could wear forever. I also love the look of an eternity band paired with a plain band.
 
I’d be thrilled. I got no ring or real proposal. We picked a ring out later. Just happy my guy wanted to marry me. With that said, eternity bands as wedding rings are effortlessly glamorous IMO.
 
I’ve been married for 41 1/2 years, and we didn’t get engaged :lol: He said he wanted to get married, so we got married. I didn’t have an engagement ring, in fact I only got Bella for my 60th b’day and 40th wedding anniversary. So in answer to the question, no, I wouldn’t have been disappointed. I did have a wedding ring, I wore it for about 3 days I think, it rubbed my finger raw, (it was a bark finish which was all the rage back then) took it off and never wore it again.
 
I feel like a brat, but yeah I would be. For one, I think eternity rings are pretty, but they don’t say engagement ring to me. I wouldn’t mind getting an eternity band to wear on my index or middle finger as just an everyday or blingy ring (depending on the caratage) but for an ER I want a solitaire on a plain band. Maybe i would feel differently if I LOVED eternity bands. If it’s a finances issue, I’d rather have no ring at all or just the wedding band, to add a solitaire-style ring to later!

Adding to my thoughts: I wouldn’t be disappointed in the fact that he (well, we, since it’s a joint expense in my eyes) couldn’t afford it or something, it’s more that I would feel like my partner doesn’t really know me if he spends the kind of $$ a blingy eternity band would cost. Also, my partner knows that I want a good amount of creative control over my ring and I’d feel disappointed if he robs me of that excitement.
 
I think paired with a wedding band they can be very pretty but no, I think I was much too traditional to have even considered it acceptable in my engagement days. As a young wife and mother, not sure how practical it would have been either if it was larger and prong set for all the multitudes of tasks that have to be done at that stage in life. Diamonds on the palm side of your hand require a lot of monitoring IMO.
 
back in the olden days (1937) my Mom got married, got a (small) diamond wedding ring; finally got an engagement ring in 1947. I have had three wedding rings, one engagement ring BUT I really wouldn't want an eternity ring as an engagement ring.
 
I am traditional. I would want a solitaire. It does not have to be big. 0.5ct or whatever he can afford but I want something on my finger from him.
 
I love eternity bands, I really do. And, I’m not someone who cares all that much what others think of me; but, in all honesty, I think I’d get tired of explaining it IS an ER vs WB.
I had a good friend who had eternity for ER, but she was involved in process, so there was no “disappointment.” Years later after the wedding when I saw her she had a solitaire too.
 
I dont think I would disappointed persay, but I wanted my ER to look like one vs a wedding band or right hand ring. I thought I wanted a 3-stone for a while, but when I tried it on I felt like it didn't look like a ER on my hand so went with a halo.
 
I would have saved so much on traditional solitaire that just sits since married and being replaced with a bling band and trinity. I see the younger generations really rolling with this. Interesting because I was thinking about this since There is a woman in the office who just wanted an Asscher band and another woman who was proposed to with at the same time with the classic Tiffany from Tiffany and the Asscher eternity just was so different from the norm couldn’t help to gravitate. Very Monroe! (Although here were baguettes) it says something to speaks confident and self assured to not have needed the traditional. I dig it and admired it.
 
Eternity band says anniversary to me, it does not say engagement. In my social circle I have never seen someone receive an eternity band as an engagement ring.
 
Hanging my head in shame...Yes I would be disappointed....If we were young and just starting out I would be okay with it...but I would be waiting with bated breath for the day I got a diamond...I did start off with a little..very included diamond which I wore for ten years..You could see the black inclusion right under the table.
 
Talking exclusively about the ring, I would be disappointed! I love eternity rings, but for an anniversary present or push present.

If it was a financial thing, I would of course understand and likely know that before he proposed. I would probably consider wearing it exclusively as my wedding band and then upgrading to an e-ring when we could afford it down the line.
 
It didnt work for me..

I received a channel set band as an engagement ring from my ex husband (not the reason I divorced him LOL). At the time, I really loved it as it was a stretch (he was a very practical guy) for him to spend what he did for it so I knew it meant a lot to him. When we got married, we created a beautiful 3 stone ring out of a pair of OEC Studs I had and a new sapphire. because I really missed having some bling on my finger.
 
I would want an engagement ring. And would have to admit I'd be pretty disappointed if I received an eternity band. Plus I'd be worried that my ring size would change with age or pregnancy. Now for a big anniversary or the birth of my first child I would LOVE an eternity band!

The biggest factor to me is that in my social circle people would think you are married rather than engaged if you have a band and would find it odd.
 
For me any ring on the third finger of the left hand says “taken”. I personally didn’t need to distinguish between engaged and married, so my preference depended(depends) on budget.

If it’s a choice between a 5-10k single stone or a 5-10k eternity, I’d want the eternity for impact.

10k+buys a sizable single stone, so this is probably where I start erring to solitaire.
 
I'm not sure if any males have responded yet but I am a male that is getting married next month. I actually like eternity bands better than engagement rings because I am a bling person and they seem to give more bling because they have multiple diamonds. I still feel the same way even with large solitaire diamonds. My fiance has a 2.6ct pear shape solitaire. I am of course sensitive to others finances so I am not sure what your finances are or reasons but I wanted to keep the classic look and I got a solitaire engagement ring. The eternity band to me is worn once married on the left ring finger not prior to that. The current trend at least in my area and all the weddings that I have been to is get the eternity band give it to the bride after the wedding or give it on the wedding day which is what I am doing. I have already purchased the eternity band and it will be given to her on our wedding night. We will use simple gold rings as a symbol for our vows and then I will present her with her eternity band afterwards.
 
The whole concept of an engagement ring is interesting. Is it necessary to “communicate” to others an intention for marriage? Is an engagement ring akin to placing a deposit or hold on a partner? Whatever an engagement ring represents for many we had “in mind” what our dream engagement ring looked like. Whether that be a solitaire diamond, a particular shaped gem, a coloured gem, a ring in style or from a particular era or a diamond set band,
Some ring scream “engagement ring” ie a solitaire diamond especially if worn on the left hand ring finger (Western culture). A plain gold band worn on that same ring finger is interpreted as a wedding ring. A diamond set eternity ring might send a confusing message. Is it a fancy style wedding ring? A “push present”?
An engagement ring, whatever it’s form or style, is preferred to be what each of us wanted / dreamt about because for most the engagement ring will be their most valuable ring $$$ wise and most precious emotion wise piece of jewellery.
I think anyone with a dream in their heart for a specific style or type of engagement ring would be disappointed if their engagement ring was nothing like their dream.
 
I'd be thrilled. I've always gravitated towards things that were idiosyncratic, and I think eternity rings as engagement rings are elegant and beautiful. In the same way, I'd love a 5 stone or a 7 stone ring as an e-ring.

I actually always wanted an eternity as an e-ring, but we couldn't afford it when I married my 19 year old husband (!!!). So we used my deceased mother's tiny diamond and put it in a solitaire. I loved it for what it represented - but it was never really me.

And I agree with Yssie, in that any ring on my ring finger says "this one is off the market!" I also love only wearing one ring - so a ring that can do double duty as e-ring and wedder is right up my alley.

And let's face it - anything goes these days. From the Tiffany solitaire to getting a tattoo on your ring finger - it all works; if a certain style of jewelry is what's standing between a girl and her feeling engaged, then that's the least of her worries!

Vive la difference!
 
No
I've always loved the look of a diamond band with a solid metal band as a set. I often wear one of my little eternity bands with my gold band, or my 7 stone with it.
To my eye, it's elegant, on it's on or in a stack.
 
I would not but I would want to make that decision for myself and not have been given one as a surprise.

I use the ring in my avatar on my left hand all the time without an engagement ring. Its sort of understated elegance IMO.
 
Bron357 said:
The whole concept of an engagement ring is interesting. Is it necessary to “communicate” to others an intention for marriage? Is an engagement ring akin to placing a deposit or hold on a partner? Whatever an engagement ring represents for many we had “in mind” what our dream engagement ring looked like. Whether that be a solitaire diamond, a particular shaped gem, a coloured gem, a ring in style or from a particular era or a diamond set band,
Some ring scream “engagement ring” ie a solitaire diamond especially if worn on the left hand ring finger (Western culture). A plain gold band worn on that same ring finger is interpreted as a wedding ring. A diamond set eternity ring might send a confusing message. Is it a fancy style wedding ring? A “push present”?
An engagement ring, whatever it’s form or style, is preferred to be what each of us wanted / dreamt about because for most the engagement ring will be their most valuable ring $$$ wise and most precious emotion wise piece of jewellery.
I think anyone with a dream in their heart for a specific style or type of engagement ring would be disappointed if their engagement ring was nothing like their dream.
Click to expand...

^——This!!
I’d be disappointed if I was presented with something that gives no consideration to my personality, lifestyle, and preference.
Communication re: such intimate pieces of jewelry is essential to ensure the intended is smitten with what is presented, at the time. A serious conversation should take place to know what is expected/desired.
I knew I wanted an engagement ring. A soli, or 3 stone (the center stone a considerable/affordable sized EC). I didn’t care about anything else; it had to be an EC.
Size was subjective. I just wanted a beautiful EC.
DH knew anything other than an EC would have been disappointing. I made that easy...lol!
The rest was up to him.
If I had desired to have an eternity band, instead of a solitaire, I wouldn’t be disappointed.
I wanted a traditional looking ER, so, an eternity would have confused me....even an eternity of EC’s...lol!
Like others, I associate eternity bands with wedding bands and anniversary bands. It would most certainly appear as though I were married, not engaged.
To each their own. Whatever the heart desires.
My preference was a traditional ER.
 
Don't get me wrong. I love eternity bands. I want a big one right now. But for an ering, I would want a solitaire, or something with a diamond in the middle.

With regard to that thread, I think that the bride-to-be would need to get to the point of wanting an eternity band, mentally, on her own. Maybe she would wear her ering for a year or two, and find it doesn't fit her lifestyle, or she discovers eternity bands and loves the look of them, and wants to wear one in addition to the ering. But that should be HER decision. And if she DOESN'T want an ering from the get go, she seems like she would have told her guy up front. She wasn't shy about saying she wanted a "chic" ering. But I don't think "ering" is up to interpretation. I think she is also a smart girl, and would have told her guy because she would know that most guys would consider a diamond center makes an ering. Based on her tastes, I think she would absolutely love an eternity band for an anniversary.
 
I didn't get a solitaire when I got engaged, we were quite poor, hubby proposed with a small band of poorly cut diamond and rubies (think along the lines of maybe total weight of maybe 0.08 in diamonds 0.06 in rubies) I was happy as all get out and showed it off quite proudly, I remember telling everyone it was an official untraditional e-ring! I did finally get a solitaire a .18 diamond when I was pregnant with our first son, this was 2 years after we got engaged...so I wouldnt have minded a eternity ring at all.
 
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