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WOW - I have been told how $$$ to pay for my plate, including due date for payment!

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Lesco...first of all, your friend''s thing is INSANE....

but may I suggest a destination wedding to Central Illinois?!? Reading your last post made my heart stop...I thought our $17 for dinner, $4 for appetizers, and $2.75 pp for a champagne toast, and approx $12 pp bar tab was obnoxiously high! I can''t imagine... clearly, that doesn''t explain your friend''s behavior, but the cost of a wedding in the city is mindblowing!
 
This is insane!!! I wonder how many RSVPs she will receive???
 
Wow that is terribly tacky...I probably wouldn''t go either. My friend did a similar thing to me a few days ago (although not nearly as bad); asked me if I would go as her date to her staff party and then told me when she got here how much I owed her for my dinner.
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In my single days, I always took her as my date to my Christmas party, and would never even think to ask her to contribute if I actually had to pay to bring her...some people just have no discretion it seems.
 
I think you should print out this thread and mail it to her. Seriously. And send a copy to her mother, while you''re at it. Then tell her you are oh, so sorry but you cannot attend, and sorry, that means you can''t assist with photography either.
 
OMG. That''s insane!
 
Date: 12/15/2008 11:41:01 PM
Author: Elmorton
Lesco...first of all, your friend''s thing is INSANE....


but may I suggest a destination wedding to Central Illinois?!? Reading your last post made my heart stop...I thought our $17 for dinner, $4 for appetizers, and $2.75 pp for a champagne toast, and approx $12 pp bar tab was obnoxiously high! I can''t imagine... clearly, that doesn''t explain your friend''s behavior, but the cost of a wedding in the city is mindblowing!
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Dittos all around! First, what a super awkward and tacky situation! Secondly, I live in Eastern Iowa and am thanking my lucky stars that my reception is only $20 pp.
 
Dude. What a great idea!

I''m going to do that too!
 
My dad will be happy to hear that he can charge pp for my sister''s wedding. As a matter of fact, he should over-charge so that he can turn a profit!
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What a fantastic idea!
 
I am completely speechless
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Honestly, this is truly beyond tacky
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WTF is right!
 
I just kept reading and kept reading, hoping to hear this was a joke.

Wow! Just, wow! You will have to somehow find out for us how many people actually show up. I kind of hope she has a venue tab minimum and this comes back to bite her in the rear.
 
Holy smokes.

Wow. If its customary to make guests pay for their own plates, FI and I are UPGRADING, baby! Wedding venue of our dreams. Hell yes to not footing the bill.

Sarcasm, of course.

That''s so awfully tacky. And I mean, if you can''t afford to pay for a sit down dinner, DONT HAVE ONE. Or hell, even if you truly believe its ''ok'' to make guest pay for their own meals, choose a venue that isn''t so costly.

It is DEFINITELY not the same as giving someone cash as a present. Oy vey. I give you credit for holding it together on the phone. I would have started choking or something. Geeze!
 
Honestly, I don''t care if it was my brothers wedding.. if this crap was pulled I WOULD NOT ATTEND A WEDDING LIKE THIS. That is soooo insulting and WRONG. Call us with your CC #?? Eff off! I''ll go buy myself some new shoes or have a great dinner with the BF and rent a hotel room. I''m likely to have more fun.
 
Actually, give me your relatives name & phone number and I''ll call her myself and tell her how tacky she is being.
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Date: 12/16/2008 4:11:30 AM
Author: swedish bean
Actually, give me your relatives name & phone number and I''ll call her myself and tell her how tacky she is being.
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Hell yes.

I wouldn''t go and buy myself something special instead
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I''m chiming in to add to my total and complete shock of a wedding ''admission fee''! Even if I was close and someone told me that I had to pay for my own plate, I probably wouldn''t go. The entire time I''d be so livid with having to pay (snarky comments all night - "This food better be good, I''m paying for it!" or "Man, we should have done this too, then we could have had an upgrade", etc...) I don''t think I''d enjoy myself at all. I''d be bitter and snarky all night.

Also, 200pp? Holy cow! Mine''s stretching the budget at 70!
 
What, no discount for family? How rude!
 
No problemo, just call her back and tell her you usually charge $x for photography and to please Paypal the money over prior to the wedding.
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Date: 12/15/2008 6:15:59 PM
Author:lesco
Hey, you see something new everyday. This might be the beginning of a new trend!

I was just invited via phone to a relative''s wedding. She and I are close. After I accepted, she told me oh well, it is $150 something per person plus tax and service fee and we are requesting the funds before the wedding date. Please call FI with your credit card if it is easier. If not, cash is OK...

That''s it, I''m eloping... I guess I left you guys speechless!!!


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After everything I''ve seen with weddings of "friends" I''ve decided that I don''t want a wedding either.

So...are you going? I havent read through.
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OMG. This wins the award for tackiest wedding of all time. I thought the check sized envelopes were bad, but that was positively classy compared to this.
 
Hi there,

Seriously, this is not a joke and I agree with all of you, this is the RUDEST thing I've ever heard of in my entire life. Unfortunately, she brought up the money issue after I told her I could attend.
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I'm kicking myself in the rear by not saying something right there. The problem is that her mother and my mother are really close. I actually thought the lady was my aunt growing up. Mom will come after me if I say something. Mom's take on this is simple, they are and always will defy convention to do whatever they want.

Thank you for all the comments and the laughs. She is having a small ceremony followed by a meal aboard one of those dinner cruises. She planned this recently and did not send invites. She invited her closest friends/ family via phone so I assume most people will be offended yet will attend b/c they feel obligated.I don't want to attend but I might not be able to get away with it.

My own wedding? we are scaling things back quite a bit. The sign was a convo FI had with his parents in which his mom told him we should elope. His family is way more conservative than mine so I've always thought they expected some form of traditional wedding. Well, I was dead wrong.

I don't really want to deal with all of this drama and exorbitant costs so we both came up with a list of things we do not want to give up:

Me- Nice dress and the best ceremony location in NYC.
FI - The best meal he's ever had and a nice honeymoon.

As of now, we are set with a ceremony in NYC followed by either lunch, dinner or appetizers and cake ( depending of the time of day). We will only invite our closest family members and friends, 25 or so in total. I am getting pricing from a couple restaurants to see how much is involved.

Heck I'm asking this biatch for her plate $$$ if we do invite her!
 
Completely tacky. I had something like this happened to me, and I really felt like telling the bride that if she couldn''t afford to get married, then she shouldn''t expect for others to pay for it.

Rude & tacky, but I''m not surpriesed. It seems like this is a disgusting growing trend!
 
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This actually upset me.
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Thomperchick - Disgusting trend? Tell me, have you heard about this? I've never had.
Honey - I can understand how this is upsetting. It was upsetting to me b/c most people really go out of their way financially and emotionally to make sure that their wedding day is enjoyable for everyone. Seeing something like this really made me question the whole thing!
 
Wow... I don''t think I would even know how to respond to that request!
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Date: 12/16/2008 9:24:44 AM
Author: purrfectpear
No problemo, just call her back and tell her you usually charge $x for photography and to please Paypal the money over prior to the wedding.
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And if she wants to use paypal she should include an extra 3% to cover the credit card processing fee. Cash really is perferred, at least a month before the wedding.
 
Lesco, we did something similar to what it sounds like you''re planning to do, 25 people, then out to eat. Several people offered to pay for their plate and didn''t seem to get that even though it was at a resturant it was our treat as we invited them. But a guest offering is 100% different than a bride asking! Your friend is tacky. I have no words.
 
Date: 12/16/2008 9:58:41 AM
Author: lesco

Heck I''m asking this biatch for her plate $$$ if we do invite her!
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Make sure you ask if she can "help out" the waitstaff too!
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Date: 12/16/2008 12:04:23 PM
Author: neatfreak

Date: 12/16/2008 9:58:41 AM
Author: lesco

Heck I''m asking this biatch for her plate $$$ if we do invite her!
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Make sure you ask if she can ''help out'' the waitstaff too!
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Yeah who cares what your wedding costs, you should probably just charge her $190.
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WOW! That is really something, LOL! I am also from NYC, and in my family/circle it is customary to cover your plate when you attend a wedding/birthday party/etc. Covering your own plate is your gift. With that said, there is NOOO WAY my family or I would tell someone they have to pay upfront -- that is just terrible, and I would not go to a wedding where I was asked to do that!

***sort of off topic***
I can understsand that she would rather receive cash to help her pay for the wedding, and there is nothing wrong with that IMHO. In NYC I doubt most people could afford any semblance of a wedding if mosts of the guests didn't try to cover their own plate. So, I do disagree with those who say that if you can't afford to pay to feed 100 people at $200 pp that you shouldn't have a wedding. No one expects a wedding to be completely covered by monetary gifts brought by the guests, but it sure helps to pay $50 or even $100 per person "out of pocket" for lack of a better phrase. Before I get flamed about wanting guests to pay for my extravagant choices, I also think this lies with the guest -- if t hey can't afford to attend, then they shouldn't. Just because you're invited to a wedding, doesn't mean *have* to attend. That last part applies only to those who are not particularly close with the bride/groom.
 
Date: 12/16/2008 1:51:45 PM
Author: brooklyngirl
WOW! That is really something, LOL! I am also from NYC, and in my family/circle it is customary to cover your plate when you attend a wedding/birthday party/etc. Covering your own plate is your gift. With that said, there is NOOO WAY my family or I would tell someone they have to pay upfront -- that is just terrible, and I would not go to a wedding where I was asked to do that!


***sort of off topic***

I can understsand that she would rather receive cash to help her pay for the wedding, and there is nothing wrong with that IMHO. In NYC I doubt most people could afford any semblance of a wedding if mosts of the guests didn''t try to cover their own plate. So, I do disagree with those who say that if you can''t afford to pay to feed 100 people at $200 pp that you shouldn''t have a wedding. No one expects a wedding to be completely covered by monetary gifts brought by the guests, but it sure helps to pay $50 or even $100 per person ''out of pocket'' for lack of a better phrase. Before I get flamed about wanting guests to pay for my extravagant choices, I also think this lies with the guest -- if t hey can''t afford to attend, then they shouldn''t. Just because you''re invited to a wedding, doesn''t mean *have* to attend. That last part applies only to those who are not particularly close with the bride/groom.
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I think there is a big difference between hoping or preferring to receive money from guests as a gift and **expecting** money or for guests to cover their plate. I don''t think that if you can''t afford to cover your plate to a wedding that means you shouldn''t go...that seems pretty crazy to me, but maybe that''s just me. Everyone I invited to my wedding were people I wanted there regardless of their ability to "pay" for their meal...
 
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