Autumnovember
Ideal_Rock
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Young Ladies in Waiting
- Thread starter paris29
- Start date
Indylady
Ideal_Rock
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I think it depends entirely where you''re living. There are a LOT of places in this world where its conventional for couples to marry in their early 20''s. No one considers it to be ''young''; its considered ''normal'' and ''appropriate'' and divorce rates are low regardless. Even if their brains are still developing, their marriages are successful, and the odds are in their favor.Date: 6/28/2010 1:38:32 PM
Author: RaiKai
I''m married, in my 30''s, and I DO think that the early 20''s is awfully young to get married.
That does not mean I will tell people NOT to get married, nor does it mean I think that getting married young means it is doomed. I have seen some very young people seemingly have very healthy relationships, marriages and so forth (i.e. lilyfoot comes to mind). Just as I have seen some older people have very unhealthy ones. It DOES however mean that I think they are young and I do think that when they are IN IT they cannot yet see just how young they are. To deny you are young is naive, you ARE young. Chronologically, and biologically, you are young. If I say someone is ''young'' it is not a big personal attack against you as a person.
And the odds ARE against you. You ARE more likely to get divorced if you marry young. One can deny this and say they are different, of course. But it would be better served, in my opinion, to look at why the ''odds are against you'' and work on ways as a couple to ensure you are prepared, rather than to just say ''we are different and no one knows us'' or to label those who share concerns as ''cynical and old''. Some of those ''cynical and old people'' also thought at 21 or 22 they were immune from the ''odds''. No one really gets married thinking they are going to get divorced!
At the end of the day people need to make their own decisions, but that does not mean there are not valid personal reasons for my own concerns. And yes, these come from personal experiences as well. A LOT of change happens from the early 20''s to your later 20''s and beyond, and time after time I have seen peers (and even myself!) make decisions about relationships in their early 20''s that were not made from a point in their life where they felt confident and sure of themselves, so they were decisions that often did not work out. It is one of those things that UNTIL you are several years on you can''t see it.
And comments like ''its safe to say he''s probably more mature than about 80% of the people telling us we''re ''soooo young'''' and saying the age comments come from ''cynical people'' just shows immaturity, from my personal perspective. Really, 80%? And really, everyone who does not hold a romanticized view is cynical? Are they bitter as they are old and single? Really? Most people I know do not see something WRONG withe being older and single, or even a bit cynical! And I know plenty of people who did marry young (some still married, some not) who do think they should of waited longer.
My husband is former military, with several combat tours (Bosnia, Afghanistan) and even he will say that in his early 20''s (and his peers in their early 20''s who also are in and have also been injured and seen an awful lot of death) would have been too young to get married. Not that it stopped all of them! Yes, these are significant life experiences, but ALL of us have our own life experiences (including myself) and they do not speed up the biological maturity of our brains (which finishes around the age of 25). They may have an affect on our emotional awareness, responsibilities, our life outlooks and so forth, but the brain itself still matures when it matures. Again, it does not mean you are doomed should you get married at a young age, but it does mean that perhaps you should take the time to understand and appreciate why age DOES matter.
All this is to say, just because I think someone is young, does not mean I am making a personal attack against them, or their relationship. I do think, however, that some would be better served working together as a couple on how to understand and improve the odds, should they want to get married, rather than defending themselves against what they see to be ''attacks'' on their maturity.
Autumnovember
Ideal_Rock
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Date: 6/28/2010 1:38:32 PM
Author: RaiKai
I''m married, in my 30''s, and I DO think that the early 20''s is awfully young to get married.
That does not mean I will tell people NOT to get married, nor does it mean I think that getting married young means it is doomed. I have seen some very young people seemingly have very healthy relationships, marriages and so forth (i.e. lilyfoot comes to mind). Just as I have seen some older people have very unhealthy ones. It DOES however mean that I think they are young and I do think that when they are IN IT they cannot yet see just how young they are. To deny you are young is naive, you ARE young. Chronologically, and biologically, you are young. If I say someone is ''young'' it is not a big personal attack against you as a person.
And the odds ARE against you. You ARE more likely to get divorced if you marry young. One can deny this and say they are different, of course. But it would be better served, in my opinion, to look at why the ''odds are against you'' and work on ways as a couple to ensure you are prepared, rather than to just say ''we are different and no one knows us'' or to label those who share concerns as ''cynical and old''. Some of those ''cynical and old people'' also thought at 21 or 22 they were immune from the ''odds''. No one really gets married thinking they are going to get divorced!
At the end of the day people need to make their own decisions, but that does not mean there are not valid personal reasons for my own concerns. And yes, these come from personal experiences as well. A LOT of change happens from the early 20''s to your later 20''s and beyond, and time after time I have seen peers (and even myself!) make decisions about relationships in their early 20''s that were not made from a point in their life where they felt confident and sure of themselves, so they were decisions that often did not work out. It is one of those things that UNTIL you are several years on you can''t see it.
And comments like ''its safe to say he''s probably more mature than about 80% of the people telling us we''re ''soooo young'''' and saying the age comments come from ''cynical people'' just shows immaturity, from my personal perspective. Really, 80%? And really, everyone who does not hold a romanticized view is cynical? Are they bitter as they are old and single? Really? Most people I know do not see something WRONG withe being older and single, or even a bit cynical! And I know plenty of people who did marry young (some still married, some not) who do think they should of waited longer.
My husband is former military, with several combat tours (Bosnia, Afghanistan) and even he will say that in his early 20''s (and his peers in their early 20''s who also are in and have also been injured and seen an awful lot of death) would have been too young to get married. Not that it stopped all of them! Yes, these are significant life experiences, but ALL of us have our own life experiences (including myself) and they do not speed up the biological maturity of our brains (which finishes around the age of 25). They may have an affect on our emotional awareness, responsibilities, our life outlooks and so forth, but the brain itself still matures when it matures. Again, it does not mean you are doomed should you get married at a young age, but it does mean that perhaps you should take the time to understand and appreciate why age DOES matter.
All this is to say, just because I think someone is young, does not mean I am making a personal attack against them, or their relationship. I do think, however, that some would be better served working together as a couple on how to understand and improve the odds, should they want to get married, rather than defending themselves against what they see to be ''attacks'' on their maturity.
Just so you know, my specific comments are about the people my own age. Like I meant 25. My specific example that came to mind was my older cousin. She''s turning 25 in three days and is horribly jealous because she can’t keep a relationship for more than two weeks. She also often resorts to sleeping with married men, often around 45 or 46. You could have asked what I meant before using my post as a launching point for your own views, which you, as I, are completely within your right. Oh Oh Oh and my sorority sisters who prefer to go out and drink every night, sleep with random men, and come to me with questions about STD''s and pregnancy.
I''m sorry, next time I will clarify that I am making a joke directed at other people my age, who are going through similar situations, and might find funny.
Please don''t take ^^ that comment as snide, I really mean it, I''ll post a disclaimer, because sarcasm does not translate well via the internet.
Also I may be young, but I am currently (and have been since graduation) working as an EMT in which I save people’s lives on a daily basis. Oh I''m also about to begin medical school in the Fall. By no means am I immature, and I think if I am more than capable of saving the lives of many people in a monthly rotation, I am also probably capable to picking my significant other.
To address the odds against me, you are right, in more ways than you know. A couple being: Anthony is Hispanic from a very proud Dominican family. With the exception of his imitate family, they all hate me. Do you know what it feels like to plan a funeral for your SO’s mother, while being told every step of the way that it’s wrong, you’re wrong, and you’re “white.” Anthony is asked EVERYDAY if he wants to meet a new cousin, he has over 70 first cousins, and a bunch are single females. Yes they are pushing his cousins on him because that’s what the village they’re from does. It just happens. That is just the iceberg. I could go on for days about how much his family hates me, because I’m “white and ignorant.”
So once again I will (sincerely) ask that you forgive me, because I thought making a joke that people in a similar situation could relate to and appreciate, obviously offended you.
4ever
Ideal_Rock
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Before I met BF I would say I hoped to get married in my very late 20''s or early 30''s. I can''t say now that I have a prefered age I''d like to be married by, I just don''t want to be waiting for it forever.
I''m happy to see other young LIW here who''s SO is a bit older then them. BF is 8 1/2 years older then me which is somthing I find I don''t really think about any more and am only reminded of on occasion, like his 30th birthday last weekend. The only problem I have found with our age difference is I am awear he has been ready and wanting to have kids for a long time and dosn''t want to be an "old dad" while I do want kids but may not be ready for them for some time. He says he''s happy to wait till I am ready, but I can''t help but feel guilty about making him an "old dad".
Jessie702
Ideal_Rock
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HaHa, dont feel guiltly...my SO is gonna be an old dad no matter what at this time...lol
Autum, i love your ring...so pretty. Ive told SO i want/love Oval rings, and his "demand" lol...is that it be two toned some how. Personally i love all white gold, but i get the two toned for a few reason...one, i wear white and yellow jewerly, so it would match no matter what i wore, and two, it would match his, and he wants a two toned. Im fine with a two honestly...just as long as its Oval and has side diamonds...or even Peek-A-Boo ones
I was the same way as a lot of the girls on here. I was so "after med-school.. and after I have my own life, have lived on my own for 6 years, blah blah." So basically my thirties. He was the same way.
I realized a few things: 1.) Changing your name on a medical license is a pain in the tush. 2.) I have lived on my own for a little over a year and hated it. 3.) I do and will continue to have my own life even being married. : P
All things considered, I also just pretty much adore SO, I don''t need to wait until I''m done with med-school before I get married. I want him right now and pretty much for the rest of eternity squared : ) But honestly we have had some problems lately, and we''re working on them, and have agreed to slow things down and I''m alright with that.
Hi Everyone!!!
I''m not on the LIW list yet (waiting for it to be a little closer to really happening first) and don''t post often but wanted to say hi!! So much for LIW moving slowly lately... this thread picked up fast!!!
I''m 22 and BF will be 23 soon and we''ve been together for 6.5 years. It hasn''t always been easy and I''d say the maturity of our relationship and the relationship generally changed drastically about 3 years ago. I am currently in a masters program and BF is in college and we will both be finished by school by the end of next summer. I am hoping that we will be engaged around the time we graduate.
Age for us is 50/50. Some people tell us to take our time and enjoy what we have now and others are already planning their outfits to our non-existant wedding. I know I am young I know what the risk factors are (I want to be a marriage counselor one day for goodness sakes lol) and BF and I have spent a lot of time discussing our futures and the way we want them to look and what we are and are not willing to compromise on.
Anyways enough rambling! Great thread!
I''m not on the LIW list yet (waiting for it to be a little closer to really happening first) and don''t post often but wanted to say hi!! So much for LIW moving slowly lately... this thread picked up fast!!!
I''m 22 and BF will be 23 soon and we''ve been together for 6.5 years. It hasn''t always been easy and I''d say the maturity of our relationship and the relationship generally changed drastically about 3 years ago. I am currently in a masters program and BF is in college and we will both be finished by school by the end of next summer. I am hoping that we will be engaged around the time we graduate.
Age for us is 50/50. Some people tell us to take our time and enjoy what we have now and others are already planning their outfits to our non-existant wedding. I know I am young I know what the risk factors are (I want to be a marriage counselor one day for goodness sakes lol) and BF and I have spent a lot of time discussing our futures and the way we want them to look and what we are and are not willing to compromise on.
Anyways enough rambling! Great thread!
FrekeChild
Super_Ideal_Rock
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I think that people *almost* always think they are/act/seem more mature than their age.
I think I''m weird in that I KNOW I''m less mature than my age in many many ways and can easily pass (behaviorally and physically) for my very early 20s. I even passed for a 16 year old a week after my 28th birthday.
I think I''m weird in that I KNOW I''m less mature than my age in many many ways and can easily pass (behaviorally and physically) for my very early 20s. I even passed for a 16 year old a week after my 28th birthday.
Autumnovember
Ideal_Rock
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If my life went exactly the way I wanted, SO would be 10 years younger and I would IDEALLY want to have gotten married at around 27-28. Unfortunately our large age difference does not allow for that and the things we both want to accomplish in our life TOGETHER...soooo I''ll be much much younger then that when we do get married.
Dannielle
Brilliant_Rock
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That''s sort of a blessing and a pain in the butt at the same time thought, isn''t it?
I look like I''m about 15 and I''m pretty short. In my current job people trusting you is really important. I happen to live and work in a pretty "old" neighborhood. I''m talking like 75+. It''s great to be told how young you look until you''re trying to explain to someone that you think their wife is having a heart attack and need to stablize her ASAP, and the husband calls you "My darling child, let''s wait for an adult to get here to help her."
That and I can''t buy white-out without an ID. I get the alcohol thing, but really, what am I supposed to do with it? Sniff it? No thanks, I like living. Ohh or box cutters. That was fun when I was moving .
But looking young will hopefully pay off come 50.. and 60.
ChloeTheGreat
Brilliant_Rock
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DuckLovingVegan
Shiny_Rock
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- Mar 31, 2010
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I'm 23 and my SO will be 29 this year. We've been together three years come July and living together for two years come this September. He as well am I are waiting until I graduate college next Dec and get a job before we get married. Once I graduate I'll finally have my ADN in Nursing. Then it's on to taking my boards and going back for BSN the following year. My SO graduate college long ago and has a job. We'll probably end up getting a house first. I want to be financially stable before I get married because I want to contribute equally to the marriage. I wanted to get married at 25 but I guess that will get pushed back a year but by then it'll be six years of dating. My friends occasionally ask me if I have gotten married yet and I say no. I'm waiting to get financially stable before I even consider it. Although none of this makes waiting anymore easier. The age difference isn't a problem for us at all. Well except for when it comes to kids he doesn't want to be and "old dad". Which is understandable I want all my kids 3-4 at most before I'm 35.
fuzzers
Shiny_Rock
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- Jul 15, 2008
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Yay! I'm happy to see this thread. I will be 22 in October and SO will be 24 in August. We have been together for 5.5 years - as of yesterday! We are both grad students, getting a master's degree (him) and a doctorate (me). I have a LOT of engaged/married peers. I grew up in the rural Midwest, so many of my high school classmates are now married with kids. I now live in the South, and getting married young is normal here too. Luckily I don't often get bothered about it by people. Maybe they sense it's a sore spot.
As to the question that was posed earlier... I would like to be engaged at 23/25 and married when we are 24/26. I really don't want to wait any longer than that...
ETA: I was on the LIW List for a year, but took myself off 6 months ago because of my long timeline ahead (2 years), but I've been secretly watching my imaginary spot creep up the List these last months (
)... I'm #10!
*exhales* I'm glad I got that out.
As to the question that was posed earlier... I would like to be engaged at 23/25 and married when we are 24/26. I really don't want to wait any longer than that...
ETA: I was on the LIW List for a year, but took myself off 6 months ago because of my long timeline ahead (2 years), but I've been secretly watching my imaginary spot creep up the List these last months (
*exhales* I'm glad I got that out.
diamondbuggy
Shiny_Rock
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Im 23 and so is my BF. We will both be turning 24 in the next couple of months. We have been together for 8.5 years now and plan on getting engaged in the next couple of months. Most people are so used to seeing us together (we are inseparable) that they wonder why we''re not married yet. I dont think age is a factor in any relationship. It depends on each couple''s circumstances. We already live together so I feel married to him anyway. The only reason we haven''t made it official yet is because of financial reasons. We plan on getting married next December so we''ll be 25. I cant wait!
lilyfoot
Brilliant_Rock
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Hey, thanks for the super nice comment, RaiKai! That totally made my dayDate: 6/28/2010 1:38:32 PM
Author: RaiKai
I'm married, in my 30's, and I DO think that the early 20's is awfully young to get married.
That does not mean I will tell people NOT to get married, nor does it mean I think that getting married young means it is doomed. I have seen some very young people seemingly have very healthy relationships, marriages and so forth (i.e. lilyfoot comes to mind). Just as I have seen some older people have very unhealthy ones. It DOES however mean that I think they are young and I do think that when they are IN IT they cannot yet see just how young they are. To deny you are young is naive, you ARE young. Chronologically, and biologically, you are young. If I say someone is 'young' it is not a big personal attack against you as a person.
And the odds ARE against you. You ARE more likely to get divorced if you marry young. One can deny this and say they are different, of course. But it would be better served, in my opinion, to look at why the 'odds are against you' and work on ways as a couple to ensure you are prepared, rather than to just say 'we are different and no one knows us' or to label those who share concerns as 'cynical and old'. Some of those 'cynical and old people' also thought at 21 or 22 they were immune from the 'odds'. No one really gets married thinking they are going to get divorced!
At the end of the day people need to make their own decisions, but that does not mean there are not valid personal reasons for my own concerns. And yes, these come from personal experiences as well. A LOT of change happens from the early 20's to your later 20's and beyond, and time after time I have seen peers (and even myself!) make decisions about relationships in their early 20's that were not made from a point in their life where they felt confident and sure of themselves, so they were decisions that often did not work out. It is one of those things that UNTIL you are several years on you can't see it.
And comments like 'its safe to say he's probably more mature than about 80% of the people telling us we're 'soooo young' and saying the age comments come from 'cynical people' just shows immaturity, from my personal perspective. Really, 80%? And really, everyone who does not hold a romanticized view is cynical? Are they bitter as they are old and single? Really? Most people I know do not see something WRONG withe being older and single, or even a bit cynical! And I know plenty of people who did marry young (some still married, some not) who do think they should of waited longer.
My husband is former military, with several combat tours (Bosnia, Afghanistan) and even he will say that in his early 20's (and his peers in their early 20's who also are in and have also been injured and seen an awful lot of death) would have been too young to get married. Not that it stopped all of them! Yes, these are significant life experiences, but ALL of us have our own life experiences (including myself) and they do not speed up the biological maturity of our brains (which finishes around the age of 25). They may have an affect on our emotional awareness, responsibilities, our life outlooks and so forth, but the brain itself still matures when it matures. Again, it does not mean you are doomed should you get married at a young age, but it does mean that perhaps you should take the time to understand and appreciate why age DOES matter.
All this is to say, just because I think someone is young, does not mean I am making a personal attack against them, or their relationship. I do think, however, that some would be better served working together as a couple on how to understand and improve the odds, should they want to get married, rather than defending themselves against what they see to be 'attacks' on their maturity.
I am quite young, 21, and my husband is 24. I would actually have to agree with basically everything that you stated in your post, RaiKai. Most people as young as us aren't truly ready to get married, and/or can't comprehend what having a successful, long-term marriage will really take.
The second highlighted part definitely struck a cord with me - I literally cringe when I see young-LIW's trying to "defend" their age. I do think that it is just solidifying the point about the level of maturity within "young" people.
lilyfoot
Brilliant_Rock
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Indylady
Ideal_Rock
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The only time I recall someone telling me I was too young is was my drunk, playboy friend who said something along the lines of, "I heard you want to get married? Why? Whyyyyyy?" followed by an attempt at a very serious face.
Besides that, I haven''t had anyone tell me that I was too young to be engaged or marry. But, I also don''t tell people (that aren''t friends or family) how old I am.
Besides that, I haven''t had anyone tell me that I was too young to be engaged or marry. But, I also don''t tell people (that aren''t friends or family) how old I am.
lilyfoot
Brilliant_Rock
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My SO turned 24 in April and I turn 24 in August. We have been together for 3 1/2 years. I will be moving in with him at the end of July. SO is currently in Grad. school for his teacher certificiation and will be done next summer. I will be going back to get my Master''s (in PR) in the fall for a one year program. I think that next summer, or at least by the end of next year, will be a good realistic time for us to actually get engaged, although we''ve been talking about it for two years but it''s mostly finanicial on SO''s part (or so he says) as to why we are not engaged yet. If we can get engaged within the next year or so I would like to have a 2012 wedding. I don''t feel like 26 is a "young" age to marry, I get really annoyed by their negativity sometimes with age.
Date: 6/30/2010 10:00:28 AM
Author: lilyfoot
Hey, thanks for the super nice comment, RaiKai! That totally made my dayDate: 6/28/2010 1:38:32 PM
Author: RaiKai
I''m married, in my 30''s, and I DO think that the early 20''s is awfully young to get married.
That does not mean I will tell people NOT to get married, nor does it mean I think that getting married young means it is doomed. I have seen some very young people seemingly have very healthy relationships, marriages and so forth (i.e. lilyfoot comes to mind). Just as I have seen some older people have very unhealthy ones. It DOES however mean that I think they are young and I do think that when they are IN IT they cannot yet see just how young they are. To deny you are young is naive, you ARE young. Chronologically, and biologically, you are young. If I say someone is ''young'' it is not a big personal attack against you as a person.
And the odds ARE against you. You ARE more likely to get divorced if you marry young. One can deny this and say they are different, of course. But it would be better served, in my opinion, to look at why the ''odds are against you'' and work on ways as a couple to ensure you are prepared, rather than to just say ''we are different and no one knows us'' or to label those who share concerns as ''cynical and old''. Some of those ''cynical and old people'' also thought at 21 or 22 they were immune from the ''odds''. No one really gets married thinking they are going to get divorced!
At the end of the day people need to make their own decisions, but that does not mean there are not valid personal reasons for my own concerns. And yes, these come from personal experiences as well. A LOT of change happens from the early 20''s to your later 20''s and beyond, and time after time I have seen peers (and even myself!) make decisions about relationships in their early 20''s that were not made from a point in their life where they felt confident and sure of themselves, so they were decisions that often did not work out. It is one of those things that UNTIL you are several years on you can''t see it.
And comments like ''its safe to say he''s probably more mature than about 80% of the people telling us we''re ''soooo young'' and saying the age comments come from ''cynical people'' just shows immaturity, from my personal perspective. Really, 80%? And really, everyone who does not hold a romanticized view is cynical? Are they bitter as they are old and single? Really? Most people I know do not see something WRONG withe being older and single, or even a bit cynical! And I know plenty of people who did marry young (some still married, some not) who do think they should of waited longer.
My husband is former military, with several combat tours (Bosnia, Afghanistan) and even he will say that in his early 20''s (and his peers in their early 20''s who also are in and have also been injured and seen an awful lot of death) would have been too young to get married. Not that it stopped all of them! Yes, these are significant life experiences, but ALL of us have our own life experiences (including myself) and they do not speed up the biological maturity of our brains (which finishes around the age of 25). They may have an affect on our emotional awareness, responsibilities, our life outlooks and so forth, but the brain itself still matures when it matures. Again, it does not mean you are doomed should you get married at a young age, but it does mean that perhaps you should take the time to understand and appreciate why age DOES matter.
All this is to say, just because I think someone is young, does not mean I am making a personal attack against them, or their relationship. I do think, however, that some would be better served working together as a couple on how to understand and improve the odds, should they want to get married, rather than defending themselves against what they see to be ''attacks'' on their maturity.
I am quite young, 21, and my husband is 24. I would actually have to agree with basically everything that you stated in your post, RaiKai. Most people as young as us aren''t truly ready to get married, and/or can''t comprehend what having a successful, long-term marriage will really take.
The second highlighted part definitely struck a cord with me - I literally cringe when I see young-LIW''s trying to ''defend'' their age. I do think that it is just solidifying the point about the level of maturity within ''young'' people.
Just for the record if you are in any way, shape, or form implying I was attempting to defend "my age" then you were so far off base, you might as well be on the moon. I was defending my boyfriend''s age and experience as compared to other''s of his age and those around "us" the vast majority of the time. I.E. frat boys who like to pee on my shoes, or freshman that ask the professor to just give them the answers to their Organic Chemistry exam.
I ask because RaiKai''s response was derived from an off hand comment I made as a joke, which she in turn took too far in my opinion. If you were not implying I was in fact defending my own age, then I offer you my most sincere apologies, as I was not intending to "start something" else in this forum, on this particular subject.
Oh and specifically to Raikai: I learned an interesting fact today from my statistics professor. Statistically more married couples aged 25 and under have a higher divorce rate is quite rational: more people get married at 25. The average in 2007 for women to get married at 25.5 (+/- .2) something like that. For men it was slightly higher at 27. 5, (+/- .2). I can''t remember the rest of his speech but basically the standard deviation was something like 4 to 5 years. Meaning most women marry before 30 years of age. More people get married before thirty: thus more before younger than thirty get divorced. It''s more common because there are more people. This is become trite, it would help if I could remember everything else he said. Since I left my article we read in class there I will simply site Dr. Armstrong and Dr. Waters as my sources, their information came from the census and Harvard.
Oh and I am in no way discrediting that younger people are less mature, have less life experience, etc etc, because quite frankly I agree. I, who knows myself the best, know that I have been a middle aged woman since I was about 6, when I demanded cardigans and pumps for Christmas. I also know what I am and what I am not ready for, life brings challenges, why face them alone.
And I am not blind to what happens, my best friend married right outside of high school to her own marine. She cheated on him while he was in Iraq, and on his second tour (while the divorce proceedings were going on) he was killed by friendly fire. I''m aware that "young people" can and do rush into things. But I think that it is for each person to decide what is right for themselves.
I''m done beating the horse now.
paris29,
I''m sorry, I think this thread has become a run away train from what your originally intended, and I think it''s my fault for making a sarcastic post that was taken literally.
Please accept my apology and I would really like to help move this thread to less tense waters.
So... ideally when would you guys (and by guys I mean girls : P ) want to get married? Like Summer or Fall, etc?
It doesn''t really matter for me, Florida has two seasons: Hot and Hotter. : )
Indylady
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Apr 28, 2008
- Messages
- 5,777
Hmmn..good question! /www.pricescope.com/idealbb/images/smilies/9.gif[/img].Date: 6/30/2010 10:45:05 AM
Author: lilyfoot
How come? Just wondering
Why? I think its easier. I started doing so when I taught English for a semester in a developing country; many of the girls I was teaching were my age or even a little older, so it made it easier to create a teacher-student dynamic. I''ve kept it up because I don''t want anyone cutting me slack in school or at work because I''m younger. I took a few graduate classes an undergraduate, and I wanted a A because I earned a graduate level class A; I didn''t want an A because I was younger and did good enough/or better than others my age. Getting a paternalisitc sort of pat on the back and a slide from doing more work for being a very good __ year old is not what I want, and telling people how old I am gets me that. I want the skill sets and the experiences that come from doing the work I am doing; when people I''m working with cut me slack for being young, it keeps me from getting the most out of what I''m doing. And its happened before, and it bites me in the butt big time down the road.
Its not a secret, but its also not something I advertise, KWIM?
I know you''re younger also; have you faced the same effects at work or school?
LadyJane83
Shiny_Rock
- Joined
- Mar 17, 2010
- Messages
- 142
@kangordor
I haven't been participating in this discussion, but I'm confused about the statistics you mentioned. If more people get married when they are 25 or younger, wouldn't that make the divorce rate percentage lower, not higher? If you have 100 people, and 10 of them get divorced, the divorce rate would be 10%, but if you have 200 people... that would be lower than 10%, no?
Forgive me if this is the dumbest question ever... and it very well could be- I went to law school to avoid numbers
I haven't been participating in this discussion, but I'm confused about the statistics you mentioned. If more people get married when they are 25 or younger, wouldn't that make the divorce rate percentage lower, not higher? If you have 100 people, and 10 of them get divorced, the divorce rate would be 10%, but if you have 200 people... that would be lower than 10%, no?
Forgive me if this is the dumbest question ever... and it very well could be- I went to law school to avoid numbers
beezygal
Brilliant_Rock
- Joined
- Feb 26, 2010
- Messages
- 1,539
you totally lost me there..Date: 6/30/2010 5:43:14 PM
Author: LadyJane83
@kangordor
I haven't been participating in this discussion, but I'm confused about the statistics you mentioned. If more people get married when they are 25 or younger, wouldn't that make the divorce rate percentage lower, not higher? If you have 100 people, and 10 of them get divorced, the divorce rate would be 10%, but if you have 200 people... that would be lower than 10%, no?
Forgive me if this is the dumbest question ever... and it very well could be- I went to law school to avoid numbers
omg.. that's exactly what my bf did. He said.. if he's good at math or science, he'll be a doctor instead of a lawyer. LOL
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