5.01radiant center stone, should I upgrade?

[Clairitek]

Let him take some time to get used to it. This setting kicks so much booty! It's so classy and gorgeous! I hope in time he will get used to seeing it on your hand. It really makes your radiant shine!

Umm ditto.

This new setting is one billion times nicer than the old one! Why should he win this "argument"? You wear it. He can wear the other one if he likes it so much

I'll go right ahead and ditto what DD said! It's your ring, you wear it, you look at it more than he does. I feel like you wouldn't have picked something to simple, sleek, and classy if it didn't speak to you somehow. Did he pick out the other setting with or without your input?

And I 10000x agree with the bold part. If he loves it so much he can wear it on whatever finger it will fit.

 

[SB621]

Yes to put this bluntly your old setting was very 80's. It was beautiful but not elegant. I think most men think bigger and brighter is better. To me this ring looks much more expensive then your other one. I would not back down on this fight at all. It's your ring and YOU should love it. Put a CS in the other ring.

 

[Clairitek]

Okay, the new setting is about 1000 times better than the old one. Gorgeous, really! It makes an amazing difference. The asscher band sounds gorgeous, too!

I always try to be totally honest, so I am going to be blunt. This is a ring for YOU to wear for many years (unless you upgrade the stone at some point). I think it is fine for your fiance to have an opinion. However, his greatest aim in life needs to be to please YOU, not to force his desires and preferences on you. Tell him what if he wanted to buy a Porsche for himself but you told him no, that you like a Mercedes station wagon SO much better and would rather him get that?! Would he just say fine, I'll go with the wagon since you like it better??? He needs to get his thinking straightened out now, before the wedding.

Many of us said before to keep the old setting and have a colored stone set in it. But for an engagement ring, I think the new setting is FAR more classy looking than the first one. Please do not rush to change it. The other ring will go out of style and this one will not.

 

[Dreamer_D]

Uh oh... PS ladies are causing marital dischord again! Here she was all set to compromise and we all stir the pot!

 

[junebug17]

I guess your FI might be a bit bummed because from what I gather, he helped design the ring and originally you adored it. Your initial posts are very enthusiastic about it - maybe he is feeling a bit confused and hurt because you have changed your mind on something you both loved and felt good about. He was probably also taken by surprise that it was reset without his knowing it. Just trying to approach this from his point of view a little - I don't know, I don't want to completely disregard the guy's feelings!

That said, I do agree with others that you will be the one wearing the ring for years and it's so important that you love it and feel good about it. Your feelings on this matter a lot, especially since you are the one who will be looking at it 24/7.

I think your stone looks amazing in the reset and so gorgeous on your hand - a very classic and elegant style that will stand the test of time. Maybe you could talk this out with him a bit more : try to find out his objections to the new setting and explain your reasons for wanting something different.

This is a tough call - how much is it worth getting into a fight over? I'm hoping that he realizes that what's important is your happiness with the ring, not his - and that it's ok that you've had a change of heart. Although -I'm thinking out loud a bit here - since you loved the first ring so much, maybe it won't be a big hardship to go back to it?

In the end, it's your decision and your call - and I for one will respect however your proceed with this. It's your relationship - we can all throw in our 2 cents, but in the end you have to go with what you think is the best way to handle this.

 

[JulieN]

I love the new baguette setting.

Originally, you said you loved the old setting. I like it, too, but if the prongs can be changed, I think that would be nice.

 

[MsP]

Your new setting is seriously STUNNING! It's classic and your center stone is just so perfect in it.

I would talk to him about it-- what about putting a colored stone in your original setting?

I agree with others who say that YOU'RE the one wearing it. YOU should love it.

 

[Niel]

I guess your FI might be a bit bummed because from what I gather, he helped design the ring and originally you adored it. Your initial posts are very enthusiastic about it - maybe he is feeling a bit confused and hurt because you have changed your mind on something you both loved and felt good about. He was probably also taken by surprise that it was reset without his knowing it. Just trying to approach this from his point of view a little - I don't know, I don't want to completely disregard the guy's feelings!

That said, I do agree with others that you will be the one wearing the ring for years and it's so important that you love it and feel good about it. Your feelings on this matter a lot, especially since you are the one who will be looking at it 24/7.

I think your stone looks amazing in the reset and so gorgeous on your hand - a very classic and elegant style that will stand the test of time. Maybe you could talk this out with him a bit more : try to find out his objections to the new setting and explain your reasons for wanting something different.

This is a tough call - how much is it worth getting into a fight over? I'm hoping that he realizes that what's important is your happiness with the ring, not his - and that it's ok that you've had a change of heart. Although -I'm thinking out loud a bit here - since you loved the first ring so much, maybe it won't be a big hardship to go back to it?

In the end, it's your decision and your call - and I for one will respect however your proceed with this. It's your relationship - we can all throw in our 2 cents, but in the end you have to go with what you think is the best way to handle this.

I agree with the first but here, hemight be upset about how you went about it, but I bet a nice heart to heart would settle some things.

Also, I just wanted to say it looks a lot less tinted in this setting. Probably because its not surrounded by a lot of white melee, but it looks very colorless in this from your photos, I couldn't say the same before. .

I'm holing you don't change it, it'd so flipping pretty in that setting

 

[kindred]

I think your diamond looks so beautiful in the new setting. It's so classic looking yet huge at the same time. Any chance your husband will come around to liking the new setting?

 

[CopperTop]

My opinion is:
1. I think he's upset because he wants people to think he's a pro athlete and that won't happen as often.
2. He thought it made you happy but then it didn't
3. The old ring was... Ugly and overdone. It's a terrible thing to say but I don't like any of it. (I'm sorry!!!)
4. You can make a ring look big and expensive without making it look so awkward. Maybe a halo would be more classy and be enough finger coverage to make him proud if it again? I love the new one but that's a big style change. If you want him to love it as much as you love it then maybe there's a more blingy compromise somewhere.

 

[Niel]

Maybe start a show me the bling forum with your old setting and new one, then show him the responses? How much everyone is fawning over that new baby!

 

[pandabee]

Emotional attachment to either of the rings aside, I think the new setting is much better at showing off your beautiful 5ct and letting that be the center of attention!! Rather than having it get lost in the setting with all the ice around it, it is still a big presence without being overbearing.

 

[AprilBaby]

Love, love, love the new setting!!! The other one was way too high!!! Please keep it! It's stunning!!!!!!!

 

[kenny]

Since you are asking for opinions . . .

I think the new setting is excellent, superb, classy, and perfect.
Now that it's gone I'll say that the old one looked like a sprawling, skyscraper, shopping center, or as Dancing Fire my fellow blunt male PS poster so articulately put it, the Eiffel Tower.
I'm surprised you didn't complain about knocking it on the ceiling or not being able to close your car door.

Tell your husband to take a hike.
He's not wearing it.
Or put a CZ in it and let him wear it.

See, you shouldn't ask for opinions here.

 

[Circe]

I'm another one who ADORES the new setting. It sets the stone off to perfection. With the original, there was so much going on that even a five carat stone could almost be camouflaged ... this just sets it off to perfection. And so much cheaper than upgrading, too! And I think a beautiful, brilliantly hued colored stone would actually set your original setting off to perfection by adding a little contrast.

And, for what it's worth ... my husband was also (unexpectedly) sentimental about my original setting. When I found a possible remount I adored, he balked, and I totally respect his feelings, so I listened, despite it being one of the most gorgeous, hands-down, settings I had ever seen. I just filed it away as one of those little regrets and went back to loving my ring.

But the thing is ... my setting isn't too practical for the life I lead nowadays - gorgeous fishtail prongs can catch on all the stuff I handle with a toddler on hand. So when I came across another setting that had all of the elements I adored about that first one, but BETTER ... I jumped on it. My husband? Still sentimental, but he sees the practicality of my having a ring I'll wear every day. And it's not like that original setting is going anywhere ....

 

[Rosebloom]

The new setting is perfectly sophisticated. But I understand the importance of a ring that you both love. I think if you decide to go back to your original setting, replacing the head with a simple claw prong basket and keeping the shank could be a beautiful option.

 

[radiantbeauty]

O.....M....G! Thanks for all the love on the new setting! This means so much to me coming from the PS Community

I am working on replying to posts now....

 

[radiantbeauty]

I can understand being unhappy with a off-colored stone that appears flawed even a foot away. But you knew how it looked when you got it and designed the custom setting to be very, very blingy. Dissatisfied with the stone you searched to upgrade. You also were undecided about cut when looking for an upgrade. Price shock re the upgrade. So, you decide on a very classic redesign with tapered baquettes which IMHO looked absolutely gorgeous. But your FI did not like it and you are changing back? And you had commissioned an asscher wedding band that may be impracticable? It seems like buying the new band was a way to preserve the bling-bling of the old setting which you still love and may feel that the three stone setting is lacking. Are you throwing away good money after bad to make up for the dissatisfaction of the stone and setting? I think Dougsgirl was 100% correct in her posts. I think a sapphire or emerald or other colored stone would be a great replacement for the diamond in the bling-bling setting and the cost would be much less than for a diamond of the same size. Keep the new 3 stone setting and wear it with the asscher band. Very sleek and timeless. Save up your money to upgrade when you can afford the exact stone you want.

Hi lambskin - Thank you for the compliment on the new setting . The stone and original setting were all purchased pre-PS and so neither one of us had the knowledge I now have regarding all the important factors concerning a diamond and a setting. My FI does not understand diamonds from the cut, color, clarity, proportions and definitely price. He thinks diamonds are ridiculously over-priced and a big waste of money. So he has compromised quite a bit on the amount of money he has spent on my jewelry. And it's really not about the money to upgrade as it is about what need to focus our monies on at the moment: we have 2 kids attending college at the same time beginning this year and continuing for the next 7-8 years, we have a bigger house to build, a new house to furnish, a wedding, vehicles to purchase and other day to day things we need to take care of. If it weren't for so many big items that we need to take care of, then spending the additional money on another diamond would not be such a huge impact. I don't think changing out the stone at this time, is the right time. The stone shows beautifully in the three stone - it shows white and the flaw is so unnoticeable with the new setting that it is not worth the cost to switch out the stone.

The setting was a combination of different settings we saw that I actually liked. However, my taste has significantly changed – thanks to PS! - with the increase of knowledge I gained from this site. I still like the setting for the sentimental value it holds - so I don't see changing that at the moment.

I am very sure if I had found this site prior to the purchase, then our search and experience would have been quite different.

 

[luvsdmb]

Love your new setting hope you kept it. My diamond looks like a joke compared to your rock. Yet I am in the process of upgrading it. Believe it or not it took a little time for my husband to be okay with changing it. He finally realized I'm not happy with what I have and I just want what I want so I can be done with it and worry about other things. He told me he just wants me happy.
So maybe explaining to your guy a little better will help and he will be on board with it.

 

[radiantbeauty]

You all are sooo funny! I have been sitting here cracking up at my desk with all of your comments. Thank you PS for putting a smile on my face today!

Clairitek, Dreamer D, diamondseeker2006 – Thank you for your awesome compliments!! Perhaps giving it a little more time will help diffuse how upset he has been about it. I don’t want to take the stone out – the new setting is so delicate IRL. My favorite question I have been getting with this ring is, “Is that real?” LOL!

 

[radiantbeauty]

LOVE IT

Thank you!!

 

[katrinab]

OMG your new setting is gorgeous! I actually thought that your old setting was gorgeous too, apart from the giant box prongs. I understand about wanting to respect your FI's wishes re changing back to your old setting. However, I think that it would be a real shame to have to go back to something that you don't love when you already have something that you DO love! And at the end of the day, it's you who has to wear it every day, not your FI!

Men can be so annoying about things they don't take seriously, like diamonds! Give him time. If he's anything like my FI he'll start off hating something but by the time he gets used to seeing it every day he starts to miss it when it's gone! Try wearing the new ring for a month and then show them both to him side by side I bet he'll prefer the more sleek and classy one!

 

[radiantbeauty]

Let him take some time to get used to it. This setting kicks so much booty! It's so classy and gorgeous! I hope in time he will get used to seeing it on your hand. It really makes your radiant shine!

Umm ditto.

This new setting is one billion times nicer than the old one! Why should he win this "argument"? You wear it. He can wear the other one if he likes it so much

ah hahaha. Id be so mad if my FI told me what setting to use. I get it it, you like it, lets find another way to use it then

Yeah, I would wear it as a RHR for sure!

 

[radiantbeauty]

Yes to put this bluntly your old setting was very 80's. It was beautiful but not elegant. I think most men think bigger and brighter is better. To me this ring looks much more expensive then your other one. I would not back down on this fight at all. It's your ring and YOU should love it. Put a CS in the other ring.

Yeah, I think initially we thought the setting was different than the *classics* that we see everyday and it would stand out. He really wanted me to have a statement piece and not a ring that looks like everyone else's.

I am going to talk to him some more and see how we can get this resolved.

 

[radiantbeauty]

Uh oh... PS ladies are causing marital dischord again! Here she was all set to compromise and we all stir the pot!

LOL!!

Wish me luck ladies!!

 

[radiantbeauty]

I guess your FI might be a bit bummed because from what I gather, he helped design the ring and originally you adored it. Your initial posts are very enthusiastic about it - maybe he is feeling a bit confused and hurt because you have changed your mind on something you both loved and felt good about. He was probably also taken by surprise that it was reset without his knowing it. Just trying to approach this from his point of view a little - I don't know, I don't want to completely disregard the guy's feelings!

That said, I do agree with others that you will be the one wearing the ring for years and it's so important that you love it and feel good about it. Your feelings on this matter a lot, especially since you are the one who will be looking at it 24/7.

I think your stone looks amazing in the reset and so gorgeous on your hand - a very classic and elegant style that will stand the test of time. Maybe you could talk this out with him a bit more : try to find out his objections to the new setting and explain your reasons for wanting something different.

This is a tough call - how much is it worth getting into a fight over? I'm hoping that he realizes that what's important is your happiness with the ring, not his - and that it's ok that you've had a change of heart. Although -I'm thinking out loud a bit here - since you loved the first ring so much, maybe it won't be a big hardship to go back to it?

In the end, it's your decision and your call - and I for one will respect however your proceed with this. It's your relationship - we can all throw in our 2 cents, but in the end you have to go with what you think is the best way to handle this.

junebug17 - I think you got it! I think he was really surprised about the actual reset without a lot of involvement on his part. I think the real issue is, is that he feels that he did not *give* the ring to me. It was like I just showed up with a different ring that is so foreign to him and that he has no connection with and I think that hurt him a little. There was so much thought, blood, sweat and tears put into the other setting that he feels like it was a *waste.* I don’t want to hurt him. He is such a wonderful and generous person and I love him so much. I want this to be a win/win for the both of us.

I looked at a kazillion settings and thought this was the best fit for my stone - although there were so many more settings I liked too (just not right for my stone). I figured I could not go wrong with a classic setting and would last until I was ready for my upgrade. FI thinks it’s “too plain” in comparison to the other setting. I told him my tastes have changed a little but I would still continue to wear it as RHR because it does still hold a sentimental value to me. He was not thrilled about that idea at all.

I really do love the stone in the new setting. It is very classy.

 

[radiantbeauty]

I love the new baguette setting.

Originally, you said you loved the old setting. I like it, too, but if the prongs can be changed, I think that would be nice.

Thanks JulieN! I think no matter what, whatever stones goes in to the new setting, I will definitely get the prongs changed!

 

[radiantbeauty]

Your new setting is seriously STUNNING! It's classic and your center stone is just so perfect in it.

I would talk to him about it-- what about putting a colored stone in your original setting?

I agree with others who say that YOU'RE the one wearing it. YOU should love it.

Thank you Ms. P! I looove the way my center stone looks in the new setting - you're right - it is perfect! and I do LOVE it!

I agree that a CS would fit nicely in the new setting.

 

[radiantbeauty]

I guess your FI might be a bit bummed because from what I gather, he helped design the ring and originally you adored it. Your initial posts are very enthusiastic about it - maybe he is feeling a bit confused and hurt because you have changed your mind on something you both loved and felt good about. He was probably also taken by surprise that it was reset without his knowing it. Just trying to approach this from his point of view a little - I don't know, I don't want to completely disregard the guy's feelings!

That said, I do agree with others that you will be the one wearing the ring for years and it's so important that you love it and feel good about it. Your feelings on this matter a lot, especially since you are the one who will be looking at it 24/7.

I think your stone looks amazing in the reset and so gorgeous on your hand - a very classic and elegant style that will stand the test of time. Maybe you could talk this out with him a bit more : try to find out his objections to the new setting and explain your reasons for wanting something different.

This is a tough call - how much is it worth getting into a fight over? I'm hoping that he realizes that what's important is your happiness with the ring, not his - and that it's ok that you've had a change of heart. Although -I'm thinking out loud a bit here - since you loved the first ring so much, maybe it won't be a big hardship to go back to it?

In the end, it's your decision and your call - and I for one will respect however your proceed with this. It's your relationship - we can all throw in our 2 cents, but in the end you have to go with what you think is the best way to handle this.

I agree with the first but here, hemight be upset about how you went about it, but I bet a nice heart to heart would settle some things.

Also, I just wanted to say it looks a lot less tinted in this setting. Probably because its not surrounded by a lot of white melee, but it looks very colorless in this from your photos, I couldn't say the same before. .

I'm holing you don't change it, it'd so flipping pretty in that setting

Thank you so much for the kind compliments! Yeah, I am definitely going to talk with him again. And he was definitely upset about how the reset was done. It really was a misunderstanding.

And it does show whiter now than in the original setting. My side stones are F/VS and in most lighting, you can not tell the difference between the two colors face down. It is amazing what a reset can do!

 

[radiantbeauty]

I think your diamond looks so beautiful in the new setting. It's so classic looking yet huge at the same time. Any chance your husband will come around to liking the new setting?

Thank you kindred! I reeeeeally hope so! If he ever does like it, I don't think it will be because of the design but rather that he will like it because I do.