5.01radiant center stone, should I upgrade?

[radiantbeauty]

You have a terrific attitude and certainly took our comments well!

I think the other ring will make a beautiful cocktail ring which you can proudly wear with a gorgeous gemstone! We can even tell you people who can cut a stone just the right size for that ring if there is any difficulty finding one. We have a whole colored stone forum here! It can still be a statement piece worn on the right hand while you have a more classic, elegant look on your left! I really think the new setting really makes the diamond be the star! It was a little lost in that other setting, whereas a colored stone will stand out because it won't blend into the diamonds in the setting.

I am wishing you lots of luck in hopes that he'll adjust to this idea!

Aaaaaaaah thanks Diamondseeker2006! I try to stay positive in life

Yes, I will need so much help with a new stone in the original setting - I am clueless when it comes to CS. I have seen a few names here like Jeff White and Dan Stair. I reeealy like the stones posted on Jeff White's staff - marvelous! So, yes, I will be seeking the help of PS yet again for that reset.

I think a CS would be fabulous in the original setting and agree that a colored stone would give the setting a bit of contrast. I love that idea! I am sure I will need to do something soon because he asks me everyday, "where is the ring?" I think I need to get a stone in there as soon as possible - but the right one this time!

 

[radiantbeauty]

Since you are asking for opinions . . .

I think the new setting is excellent, superb, classy, and perfect.
Now that it's gone I'll say that the old one looked like a sprawling, skyscraper, shopping center, or as Dancing Fire my fellow blunt male PS poster so articulately put it, the Eiffel Tower.
I'm surprised you didn't complain about knocking it on the ceiling or not being able to close your car door.

Tell your husband to take a hike.
He's not wearing it.
Or put a CZ in it and let him wear it.

See, you shouldn't ask for opinions here.

kenny you are too funny . And I really thank you for the wonderful compliments on the new setting- it means alot coming from you. .

Yeah, I see the original setting is not a fav for an ering. And when wearing the ring, I was very careful about how I wore it so he never heard any complaints from me about it. I'm sure with some PS advice, I can turn the setting around to wear on my right hand and it will be a beautiful statement piece.

 

[luvsdmb]

Seems to me that since you are keeping the stone from the original design that yes it is the same ring he gave you. Your taste changed and so yes although it seems like a "waste" to him that's just the way it is. He should be happy that you are keeping the stone and just want a different setting that isn't so complicated. He seems more connected to your ring than you, which from the way you explain he put a ton of effort into it, so that explains it. So sorry for him, but you should do what makes you happy.
What is your instinct telling you? Do you just want to go back to the original because you feel bad about it? Imagine that ring once you go back, it will always be weird between the two of you because he will be happy it's back and you will be thinking of how to change it. Trust me I know from experience.
Good luck, maybe you should let him read this thread? Doesn't seem like he could get much more upset with you, well maybe throwing a eternity band in right now, eeekkk. I feel for you!!!

 

[VRBeauty]

Oh my goodness - your new ring is absolutely SPECTACULAR! You did a great job with the redesign, and it makes your really allows your diamond to shine!

I'm really sorry that your husband is unhappy with the new setting. I hope you two are able to work it out in a way that allows you to keep your new ring the way it is. Maybe you can both agree to give the topic a rest - not do anything - for two-week or so cooling down period? It sounds like feelings and emotions are a little rough right now.

 

[steelmagnolia]

I've followed along since the original post and I must agree that you did a fabulous job with the reset. It is soooooo beautiful, I just absolutely LOVE IT!!!

My husband and I chose my original setting together over 20 yrs ago, but over the years my tastes also changed. It took a bit of time, but he came around to my switching over to a new one. However, he was NOT ok with my changing anything on the original, so that meant an entirely new ring for the second one. I am now working on my 3rd setting and it is the same deal. He insists that with a completely new ring, our 3 daughters will all someday each have a ring to choose from and if I keep going, then our 2 sons may as well!

Anyway, all that mememe to say that I *completely* understand how each husband looks at an e-ring in their own way, and some do seem to attach a lot more symbolism and feelings to them than others (as do many women, of course). You seem so kind hearted and have such a great attitude that I am confident you will figure out the best way to reach him. Your description of him makes him seem loving and generous, and he's just having a hard time with the way this went down. Since his initial desire was to please you, I hope he can find his way back to that so the two of you can reconcile the issues and get to loving each ring for their individual beauty.

One thought I had, I know from another forum I participate on, her DH re-proposes with every new ring she has gotten. Would your husband to be possibly be open to that idea? Or is it too late now that you have seen it and worn it already?

 

[NonieMarie]

I the redo. For my taste, to me, it seems so much more timeless; it is stunning. How long have you been engaged? Maybe your FI feels that it was too new to make a change. Maybe you could approach him with the fact that, in the new setting, the very valuable diamond would be safer and less likely to be damaged. Your original setting has a lot going on and therefor you could lose diamonds. Because that huge rock was set so high, if you wear it everyday, it and the diamond prongs are a disaster waiting to happen. The original setting would be perfect with a colored stone and worn when you really wanted some special sparkle and flash. Are the inclusions that bothered you before less noticable because the stone is set lower?

 

[Laila619]

I understand your husband's feelings, but in the end, I think he is being a bit selfish here. *You're* the one who has to wear the ring, not him. So in the end, I don't think his opinion should matter. Sorry to be blunt. I just don't get when men insist that their fiancee/wife has to wear a ring that *he* likes. It's not about him! That'd be like you telling him he has to use this fishing pole/power tool/watch/sweater etc. you gave him, even though he doesn't like it or it's the wrong one. Maybe if you explain it like that to him, he'll get it.

The new setting is absolutely gorgeous!

 

[Asscherhalo_lover]

I def think you need to get a colored stone set into the original setting ASAP and where them both. Let him see that you still enjoy your original setting. I have changed and upgraded a few times myself but my DH knows that jewelry is my "thing" so he never gives me and issues but I do keep him in the "loupe".

 

[Kilda]

I guess I'm in the minority, because I totally get where your fiance is coming from. I do agree that the new setting is a huge improvement. BUT. Go back and read your first post about how much you loved your ring. He put a ton of work into designing something one of a kind that he thought you would love, and you did love it. He felt great. He felt like he hit a home run! In his mind, you had this awesome ring and he designed it for you. You were so happy, strangers were stopping you to admire it, etc. And suddenly, you don't like it anymore and you have a new setting designed which is totally different, because the one he made for you went from being fantastic, to so wrong that it had to be replaced with something completely different. If you were him, wouldn't you feel like crap right now?

it's a sticky situation. I don't disagree that the new setting is way better, but I think it needed to be handled with extreme delicacy. I'm not sure how to fix it now, but I just wanted to say put yourself in his shoes.

 

[radiantbeauty]

Hi Everyone! I apologize for the extremely delayed response; I have been craaazy busy! I wanted to touch base with you all and let you know I still have the reset ring!

I do want to clarify that FI thinks the setting is beautiful, just not for my ering. FI and I are in a very good place right now. However, it took nearly 2 months for me to be able to wear the rings around him.

I wanted to take the time to post responses to those who provided comments.
Thanks to everyone who has contributed and voted!

Circe - Wow Circe! Thanks so much for the wonderful compliments. I am so glad to know I am not the only one who was faced with a similar situation. I will upgrade my setting and stone – at a much later date – of course!

luvsdumb - CONGRATS on your new oval! It looks lovely on your hand. Excited to see the reset!

I think FI is slowly coming to accept the change. He is not so upset with the new reset as he was originally was when he first saw it. And I do agree that it would be awkward if I changed it back because I would always look at how to change it. However, I am going to keep the original and put another stone in it. I am working on a Rocky Talk and CS thread now because I really need help with this!

katrinab - Thank you for the compliments on both settings . I could not even wear the rings around him for nearly 2 months. I just started wearing them regularly now without him being so upset. I really need to get a stone in the original ring.

diamondseeker2006 - Yes, he did take joy in seeing me wearing a blingy ring! He enjoyed being part of the story as well as the many compliments I received when wearing it. He sees the reset as beautiful piece that everyone else has – it is not unique and does not stand out. He is slowly coming around to accepting the reset.

Derbygal - Thank you for the compliment!

CopperTop - The new setting lets the center stone shine. I am thrilled with the results!

Venti25 - Thank you for the compliment! The aqua is one of my stone choices too

rosetta - Thank you! Seems like the consensus here is a CS would be a hit in the original setting! I know the original ering was not the fav for everyone in the community, but I’m sure with some help from the PS community, it will become a fabulous RHR

VRBeauty - Thanks you for the compliment! We are definitely in the *cooling* stage right now. He is a wonderful person and we always manage to work things out.

babs23 - Thank you for compliment! And I’m certainly working on making the setting a keeper!

Rosebloom - Thank you! And I will definitely change the prong setting on the original setting!

Laila619 - Thank you for the compliment! ! We have had so many discussions about the ering and how important the symbolism is that he has taken that to mean it is a *connection* for me AND him since we are both in the relationship. He has brought back discussion information I initially talked with him about– the sentimental value of it all – and is now saying, “So what does this now mean?” There is no attachment with the new ring, I feel nothing; it means nothing. To him, I taught him that the ering represents our relationship. So to take the center stone out of a *meaningful* setting and place it into a setting that is better proportioned for the stone, does not make any sense to him. And that’s what the discussions have been centered around. It’s been a little hard to get around that- although I have said I am still wearing all of the pieces he gave me and a little extra. Although now, I think he is just accepting the reset and happy that we are in each other's lives.


Asscherhalo_lover – Yeah, my next step is to see what stone will best fit the mounting although FI has mentioned placing the man made stone he gave me years ago in the new setting. Perhaps, I can just place one in the original setting – although I really don’t want to. I prefer a natural stone, but I would be willing to compromise since he appears to be compromising on the new set. FI knows too that I love diamonds and thinks I have an addiction to them. LOL!

Sarahbear621 - Thank you for kind words about my attitude. I always try to see the positives in life!
I am glad I kept the reset and like your DH, FI was very upset about the reset and has slowly started to accept the change. So funny you should mention Happy Wife = Happy Life, he says that ALL the time! LOL!!

steelmagnolia - Thank you not only for the kind compliments on my new setting, but for me and FI! He really is a wonderful and loving man and I just love him so much! That is really nice of you to say.

I don’t think FI would be into the idea of re-proposing with a new reset, although it is a wonderful idea. That would just not be his style.

NonieMarie - Thank you for the compliment for the reset! Fortunately, I was so careful in how I wore the original ring that he never heard a complaint from me! Yeah, I think setting the stone lower and placing it in a completely different setting, makes the inclusion far less noticeable to me. It still shows beautifully and has quite a bit of sparkle.

Kilda - Thanks for sharing your thoughts. One thing about me and my FI, is that we always listen to each other and then work on resolving the matter. Aside from the emotions that we have both experienced with the rings, I do always consider his feeling.

Thanks again to everyone who has shared their stories and advice! I will be posting in the SMTB within the next few weeks on my reset and band! Whoooohoo!!

 

[junebug17]

I do want to clarify that FI thinks the setting is beautiful, just not for my ering. FI and I are in a very good place right now. However, it took nearly 2 months for me to be able to wear the rings around him.

I'm glad he seems to be feeling a little better about the reset...I had a feeling he'd slowly come around! As more time goes by he'll probably be even more ok with it - thanks for the update! And looking forward to seeing more pics!

 

[diamondseeker2006]

You are a wise lady to just stick to your guns and give him time to adjust. What he doesn't realize is that people WILL be impressed with that diamond he gave you! The diamond is far more impressive in the new setting whereas it was kind of lost in the other. We'll look forward to seeing your Show Me the Bling thread when you post the new rings!

Trust me, we have seen guys many times on here wanting to buy rings that met their taste rather than the girl's, and we do try to show them the error in their thinking! I am convinced that to him the other setting was the maximum bling setting possible, and that gave him pride. The only problem is, as you can see here, women are the ones who notice rings mostly, and I think 100% of us LOVED the new setting much more! I don't think you could have made a better choice!

 

[radiantbeauty]

diamondseeker2006 - Agreed , the stone was completely lost in the other setting. And yes, the original setting has a lot more presence on my hand than my new set. I do agree that he takes great pride in what I'm wearing and smiled every time we were out and someone made a compliment about it. It really did draw a lot of attention when I wore it. He does ask me if anyone else notices the new ring as it is now. So I think having a statement piece on my finger is something he was proud for me to wear. The reactions I received from others with the original setting was validation of a "wow" piece. I haven't received the same reactions with this set as the original and I think he knows that.

I'm glad I didn't *rush* to put it back in the setting either . Thanks to all who *pushed* me to wait it out.


Hi junebug17. I have been really trying to get some good photos of the set, and for the life of me, I can not accurately capture the facets of the center stone and how it shows IRL. I have tried white paper, different lighting, flash, no flash, setting the camera to different settings. It really is driving me bonkers!

So I hope to take a little more time in the weeks to come and set up a better shot of the settings.

Sooo looking forward to the new posts and see what you all think of the new set

 

[me&myboys]

diamondseeker2006 - Agreed , the stone was completely lost in the other setting. And yes, the original setting has a lot more presence on my hand than my new set. I do agree that he takes great pride in what I'm wearing and smiled every time we were out and someone made a compliment about it. It really did draw a lot of attention when I wore it. He does ask me if anyone else notices the new ring as it is now. So I think having a statement piece on my finger is something he was proud for me to wear. The reactions I received from others with the original setting was validation of a "wow" piece. I haven't received the same reactions with this set as the original and I think he knows that.

I'm glad I didn't *rush* to put it back in the setting either . Thanks to all who *pushed* me to wait it out.


Hi junebug17. I have been really trying to get some good photos of the set, and for the life of me, I can not accurately capture the facets of the center stone and how it shows IRL. I have tried white paper, different lighting, flash, no flash, setting the camera to different settings. It really is driving me bonkers!

So I hope to take a little more time in the weeks to come and set up a better shot of the settings.

Sooo looking forward to the new posts and see what you all think of the new set [/quote]

Oh I. Can. Not. Wait.

No pressure but.....hurry!!!! Don't worry about the quality of your first pics, anything is better than nothing

 

[Acinom]

What a great reset!!! Your diamond get's all the attention now and looks bigger and brighter!!
Your new ring represents timeless elegance. Your ring now gets attention because of the beautiful stone and not because there is so much going on. Your old setting will be great with a sapphire or orher coloured stone.
Your husband probably spend quite some time finding this stone and a) the diamond now gets more attention and b) this setting is more safe.

I hope your FI is getting used to the idea. I can understand his point of view as he spent considerable time to pick the design, but in the end you need to wear it and I am so glad you are not going to change it back.

Hopefully you can soon really enjoy your beautiful ring (once your FI is getting used to the idea).

 

[hippi_pixi]

i remember readind this thread at the beginning when it had less than 10 posts and i didn't have anything nice to say about your ring so i didn't say anything. now i want to say

Your reset is stunning!

i love your reset and i swear the stone looks twice as big now as it did before in the original setting!! i can't remember if you posted how much the stone cost but it was such a shame to have such an expensive item hidden amongst all the busyness. now its the hero of the piece. with a diamond like that the ring should be a frame or a pedestal for the diamond not competing for the attention.

that said i think your old setting will look great with a colored stone. i've seen over there that you trying to get a diamond-esque stone in there and it occurring to me what about a diamond cut or concave cut citrine. a sunshine yellow and avoiding brown tints and pass it off as a yellow diamond?

 

[lovebug1031]

Question: if you return this setting, would he be open to planning a new one with you? Or is it the original or nothing (and by nothing, I mean emotionally, on his end).

I think he is so upset that the mention of another setting, would drive him up the wall. I would have to wait awhile before even mentioning another reset. And I do mean awhile.

I think, for now, it's the original or nothing.

That's unfortunate, L2S. I think he's being unreasonable ... particularly since it sounds like you did talk to him about this. You said he thought it was just on paper, not in the shop already being redone, right? But ON PAPER, was he okay with it?

And ... for that matter, given that you came on with the idea of upgrading, it sounds like he was okay with the idea of changing the stone, altering the original ring, right? So I wonder why it is that this is where he digs in his heels. Sounds like he felt left out somewhere in between you guys talking about the design and the ring going into the shop?

I think so too. We did talk about the reset and redesigning it - but to him, I think we were just in the *planning* stages. I don't think HE was really ready to see a reset like I was. I think the reality of the stone being set into another setting without his full involvement was just hurtful. He doesn't see it as a ring he *gave* me. It's just I ring I like that I am wearing. However, he does not mind me keeping the new setting and putting a new stone in this setting. He bought me a man made 3 carat stone a looooong time ago and suggested I put that stone in this setting. Personally, I don't want to put a man made stone in the new setting. I have expressed that I would not like the setting as much with my 5 ct stone going back to the original setting. From his POV, he says that the meaning behind the setting is more important than what *looks better.*[/quote]


this sounds like my FI - he wanted me to have his g-ma's ring and upgrade down the road (5 years?) i HATED her ring, and knew he could afford something I would love. I didn't care what size, color, anything relaly - my only stipulations were that it be an august vintage in rose gold with no visible inclusions...in the end that's what i got, but there is def. some bitterness surrounding it for him...i love my ring, with the exception of the prongs which i tried to bring up changing and he about flipped...so yay lol

i have a feeling he'll continue to be a bit bitter about it if you keep it because of his emotional response and connection to the original e-ring. sorry

 

[radiantbeauty]

diamondseeker2006 - Agreed , the stone was completely lost in the other setting. And yes, the original setting has a lot more presence on my hand than my new set. I do agree that he takes great pride in what I'm wearing and smiled every time we were out and someone made a compliment about it. It really did draw a lot of attention when I wore it. He does ask me if anyone else notices the new ring as it is now. So I think having a statement piece on my finger is something he was proud for me to wear. The reactions I received from others with the original setting was validation of a "wow" piece. I haven't received the same reactions with this set as the original and I think he knows that.

I'm glad I didn't *rush* to put it back in the setting either . Thanks to all who *pushed* me to wait it out.


Hi junebug17. I have been really trying to get some good photos of the set, and for the life of me, I can not accurately capture the facets of the center stone and how it shows IRL. I have tried white paper, different lighting, flash, no flash, setting the camera to different settings. It really is driving me bonkers!

So I hope to take a little more time in the weeks to come and set up a better shot of the settings.

Sooo looking forward to the new posts and see what you all think of the new set [/quote]

Oh I. Can. Not. Wait.

No pressure but.....hurry!!!! Don't worry about the quality of your first pics, anything is better than nothing

LOL!! Ok. Let me see what I can come up with this week for some shots (they will probably be phone shots - not the best, but you will get the idea).

 

[radiantbeauty]

What a great reset!!! Your diamond get's all the attention now and looks bigger and brighter!!
Your new ring represents timeless elegance. Your ring now gets attention because of the beautiful stone and not because there is so much going on. Your old setting will be great with a sapphire or orher coloured stone.
Your husband probably spend quite some time finding this stone and a) the diamond now gets more attention and b) this setting is more safe.

I hope your FI is getting used to the idea. I can understand his point of view as he spent considerable time to pick the design, but in the end you need to wear it and I am so glad you are not going to change it back.

Hopefully you can soon really enjoy your beautiful ring (once your FI is getting used to the idea).

Thank you very much for compliments I am glad I did not change it either.

Yes, a lot of time was spent on it so I want to be sure I wear it everyday. It's been a challenge to find a CS stone I really like that would be suitable for everyday wear.

So hopefully my jeweler will come back with something nice

 

[radiantbeauty]

Acinom – Thank you for the compliment! The stone shows so much better in the new setting. Yeah, a lot of time and effort was spent on the previous setting , so it is important I continue to wear it everyday.
FI is slowly coming around. And I do enjoy wearing my ring!


Hippi_pixi – Thank you!! I am looking for a diamond cut type of CS now. I thinking a sunshine yellow would look really nice to pass of as an FCD. I have not seen one yet in person that I love yet, but I am hoping Jeff White can help and solve this matter for me. I sent him a message today.

 

[radiantbeauty]

I am happy to report the ring is here to stay!! I posted pics in the SMTB: https://www.pricescope.com/communit...ics-5-ct-ering-reset-and-bday-yummies.193208/