Adoption Thread

[Skippy123]

IMPERFECT, keeping the baby and momma in my prayers that everyone is okay. sending hugs to you.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

IG-Oh no!!! I hope that everything is ok with her and with Parker!

 

[ImperfectGirl]

Thanks Skippy & Bella. Everyone is fine, thank goodness! Mom fractured her arm and Parker is fine. She slipped on ice and stuck her hands out to break her fall. She's home and in some pain with not a lot of pain med options, but she's in good spirits. Such a relief...I so appreciate your thoughts!

 

[Bella_mezzo]

So glad that she and Parker are ok!!!

 

[ImperfectGirl]

Bella- I saw your good news in the other thread!!!!! I'm so happy for you guys...things are moving right along and B will be home with you before you know it!

 

[dcgator]

Hey everyone,

Sounds like a lot going on in the wonderful world of adoption. I hope things continue to move along well for all of you!

Penn - My bad on the incorrect assumption . From now on, I've got the male box checked, lol. So, did you get the house you wanted?

Bella - I am so sorry that the whole USCIS has taken longer than expected, but it sounds like they are finally moving int he right direction! That sucks about all the delays with the car and train, but hopefully you can get your packet shipped off today and in Ethiopia by next week. Lots of hurry up dust so that you can get your little B soon!

Imperfect - Wow, what a scare for you and the birthmom. I am so glad to hear that Parker is ok and that mom is recovering. I hope that she gets better soon!

Take care everyone and keep the updates coming!

 

[pennquaker09]

Hey everyone,

Sounds like a lot going on in the wonderful world of adoption. I hope things continue to move along well for all of you!

Penn - My bad on the incorrect assumption . From now on, I've got the male box checked, lol. So, did you get the house you wanted?

Bella - I am so sorry that the whole USCIS has taken longer than expected, but it sounds like they are finally moving int he right direction! That sucks about all the delays with the car and train, but hopefully you can get your packet shipped off today and in Ethiopia by next week. Lots of hurry up dust so that you can get your little B soon!

Imperfect - Wow, what a scare for you and the birthmom. I am so glad to hear that Parker is ok and that mom is recovering. I hope that she gets better soon!

Take care everyone and keep the updates coming!

I've been mistaken as a girl here for a while, so I'm used it it. it's okay.

We did get the house. And it's a good thing that we did because the closings are back the back. I've already got movers hired and I've been packing up things that we don't use on a daily basis. I want this to go extremely smooth.

Yay, for you Bella!!

 

[ImperfectGirl]

Hey everyone,

Sounds like a lot going on in the wonderful world of adoption. I hope things continue to move along well for all of you!

Penn - My bad on the incorrect assumption . From now on, I've got the male box checked, lol. So, did you get the house you wanted?

Bella - I am so sorry that the whole USCIS has taken longer than expected, but it sounds like they are finally moving int he right direction! That sucks about all the delays with the car and train, but hopefully you can get your packet shipped off today and in Ethiopia by next week. Lots of hurry up dust so that you can get your little B soon!

Imperfect - Wow, what a scare for you and the birthmom. I am so glad to hear that Parker is ok and that mom is recovering. I hope that she gets better soon!

Take care everyone and keep the updates coming!

I've been mistaken as a girl here for a while, so I'm used it it. it's okay.

We did get the house. And it's a good thing that we did because the closings are back the back. I've already got movers hired and I've been packing up things that we don't use on a daily basis. I want this to go extremely smooth.

Yay, for you Bella!!

Congrats on the house Penn!!! So exciting

 

[orbaya]

Does anyone have any idea about if/how the potential government shutdown could affect international adoptions? We mailed our fingerprints to the FBI and our state clearances last week and we are afraid that these might be significantly delayed.

 

[Logan Sapphire]

Does anyone have any idea about if/how the potential government shutdown could affect international adoptions? We mailed our fingerprints to the FBI and our state clearances last week and we are afraid that these might be significantly delayed.

Orbaya, I work for the federal govt and it would depend on whether the personnel who work on such matters are considered essential or not. The problem is that most agencies aren't telling their employees yet if they're essential, so if you called the FBI, the employees probably wouldn't be able to tell you themselves.

Sorry to hear that things might be delayed. Fingers crossed that crisis is averted.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

I was on a national conference call with USCIS discussing the state of Ethiopian adoptions and potential changes in the process there and this exact question was raised. Basically they said adoptions would not be essentional/high-priority in the case of a government shut down, so even if an employee who processeses a bunch of documents including adoption ones is there working b/c they are an essentail employee, adoption would have a lower priority than their other job tasks...

I think at this point all you can do is wait and see. In fact, with all the changes in Ethiopian adoption (and definitely with being part of a pilot program in Honduras) you can do as much as you can, but most of it is totally out of your control. I know how hard that is...believe me But I think we all just have to wait and see.

Out dossier is in DC waiting for authentication by the Ethiopian Embassy and the US Dept of State-hopefully before Friday-but then it gets sent to Ethiopia and we wait. the official word is still that Ethiopian courts will only be processing 5 cases per day (rather than 50) and that that will actually go into effect in the next few weeks. So, if we get stuck in govt shutdown here it could double exponentially slowdown our process (it is now likely that we will have an exponential slowdown on the ET side)...

but, sometimes it is all posturing and govnt keeps going in the end, or someone will just process your prints just because, or something else will happen to totally change everything. we are trying not to freak out and just work hard on the things we can control and have peace about the things we can't (government processing and regulations...)

this is definitely one wild and crazy ride but hopefully it will all be worth it in the end

 

[orbaya]

Thanks Logan.

Bella - We're wondering about our fingerprints, and your post puts things in perspective a bit. I can't imagine what you and others that already have referrals are going through and don't know what is happening with your travel and everything!!

 

[Logan Sapphire]

FYI...my agency (DOJ) just told its employees if they are essential or not.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

Orbaya-I think every stage of this process is stressful. I can honestly say I was more worried about my FBI fingerprints and other clearances for the homestudy than I am right now. I got a little more acclaimated to waiting as things went along I am a super type A personality IRL and am usually really on the ball. Between a super stressful (unecessarily so!) job, an MBA program, a year and a half of TTC with no success, and this adoption, I am slowly learning to let things go a little and that I only can control so much. It is definitely a process as tomorrow I will probably freak out again, but I am learning

Logan-I hope that you got the news you wanted re the essential vs nonessential designation. not sure if more work or more time with family is wanted right now...how are your two little ones doing? Is C adjusting a little better to being a big sister? D is pretty big now, right?

 

[Logan Sapphire]

Bella, both DH and I are non-essential, so we'll be spending some time home the way things are looking. Apparently only 6% of my agency within DOJ is considered essential.

Thanks for asking about the kids- tomorrow will be C's 2 year annniversary home with us! I can't believe it's been 2 years already. She's changed and grown so much. She turns 3 in mid-May and has done much better in adjusting to her big sister role. Still jealous at times, but she tells me she can't wait until he walks better so she can hold his hand. They're starting to play together more too, which is cute to watch.


D is turning 1 on Monday! He's a cutie patootie for sure. I still can't believe I became a parent twice in 367 days!

Good luck to you all should the govt shut down. A frustrating journey, for sure, but one that is so very worth it in the end

In commemoration of C's 2 year anniversary tomorrow, here are some pics of her in Korea at 6 months old, home in the US at 11 months, and at almost-3.

 

[Bella_mezzo]

She is gorgeous! and it looks like she has quite the personality!

You have had a pretty crazy past two years!!! that is for sure!

Hope that whatever craziness is going on with the govnt gets resolved quickly and you don't miss too much work. (and I am selfishly hoping that my paperwork which should be getting authenticated by the Department of state today and be ready for pick-up Monday morning gets done today and is able to still be picked up EOD today or Monday...

 

[ImperfectGirl]

Logan - she is a doll! Such a cutie and so happy! Hope you can get back to work soon!

Well DH is in the Air Force so his LES reports half of a paycheck today. It sucks but we are fine...he's just upset that he still has to go to work, lol.

 

[ImperfectGirl]

Logan - she is a doll! Such a cutie and so happy! Hope you can get back to work soon!

Well DH is in the Air Force so his LES reports half of a paycheck today. It sucks but we are fine...he's just upset that he still has to go to work, lol.

so glad it all worked out

 

[AGBF]

In commemoration of C's 2 year anniversary tomorrow, here are some pics of her in Korea at 6 months old, home in the US at 11 months, and at almost-3.

Logan-

I don't believe I ever saw her picture before. C is beautiful and looks very happy in the tub and in her most recent picture! I am so glad that she is adjusting to having a sibling; I never did! Well...maybe by age 30!

Big hugs,
Deb


PS-I'd love to see pictures of C and D!!!

 

[canuk-gal]

HI:

LS your daughter is ADORABLE! I LOVE this thread!

cheers--Sharon

 

[Bella_mezzo]

WE GOT 4 NEW PICS OF B TODAY!!!! and our tag sale this weekend raised way more money than we thought it would and the sun is finally shining in NYC!

Such a great day!

 

[ImperfectGirl]

WE GOT 4 NEW PICS OF B TODAY!!!! and our tag sale this weekend raised way more money than we thought it would and the sun is finally shining in NYC!

Such a great day!

Aweome news Bella! I know those photos are keeping you guys encouraged during this process. How is it that sunshine just makes everything seem better?

 

[ImperfectGirl]

Birthmom had an ultrasound and appt today. She is 31 weeks. Everything looks great! Parker looks to be a hair under 5 lbs. When the nurse asked her who she wanted in the delivery room she said "my mom and Parker's parents".

Just trucking along and dreaming about what he'll look like...

 

[Bella_mezzo]

Parker's parents!!!!

 

[Logan Sapphire]

Yay for Bella and Imperfect!! Isn't it amazing to see pictures of your child and just know that he's your child??

And let's keep our children's birth parents, especially their mother, in our hearts. When I was growing up, I didn't know anything about my birth parents and I rarely thought about them. As I've grown older and had my own children, especially my daughter, I think about my parents and her parents a lot. I wish I could know them both and most importantly, I wish I could thank them. I don't know why they chose adoption but I would tell them that it's blessed my life in so many ways.

 

[ImperfectGirl]

Yay for Bella and Imperfect!! Isn't it amazing to see pictures of your child and just know that he's your child??

And let's keep our children's birth parents, especially their mother, in our hearts. When I was growing up, I didn't know anything about my birth parents and I rarely thought about them. As I've grown older and had my own children, especially my daughter, I think about my parents and her parents a lot. I wish I could know them both and most importantly, I wish I could thank them. I don't know why they chose adoption but I would tell them that it's blessed my life in so many ways.

Absolutely! I love our birthmom and I'm thankful that we will enjoy ongoing contact with her in whatever form she is comfortable with. Right now she is just asking for emails and photos and I am so great with that. Once Parker is older, I'm happy with him having a relationship with his birthmother. My BIL was adopted and wasn't told until he was 19. He was devastated and said that when he got over it and expressed an interest in finding his birthmom, his mother was not happy. He said he felt like he had to choose and in the end opted not to find his birthmom so as not to hurt his mom but he always wonders about her. I think that is so sad and I'm determined not to make Parker feel like he has to choose. There is room enough for many people to love him and thankfully, our birthmother is awesome! We have talked a lot about after placement contact and all respect each other's boundaries.

I'm I've found that when people find out we are adopting they act like we are doing something so wonderful and I always say that it's our birthmom who is doing something so wonderful. We are largely motivated by a selfish desire to have a child and she is motivated by a selfless one to give this baby a better life than she could provide.

Logan, have you introduced the topic of adoption to C? I'm curious if she knows and how you told her and if she doesn't, how you plan to address it later.

 

[Logan Sapphire]

Yes, we've talked about adoption with C a lot. We have pics of her and her foster family in her room and the foster mom actually made 2 albums of her time with C that she looks at a lot. She knows that Mrs. Park was her foster mommy. Now I have absolutely NO doubt that C understands nothing of what we say! She can say that she was "'dopted" and one of her favorite books is "Happy 'Doption Day" but I don't think she really understands. We've talked to her about her birth mom and how she wasn't able to take care of her and that she wanted C to be with a family that could care for her, etc. The good thing is that she also knows that I was adopted as was her aunt (my twin sister) and so was the boy across the street and my cousin.

I do have a lot of questions re: how much info to share with her and at what age, etc. She has a very difficult background- think something along the lines of rape, incest, affair. AND, there is some unintentionally disparaging commentary on her birth mom in her file that if internalized, could be very damaging to poor little C's psyche. I believe she has the eventual right to all the info, but when and how????

 

[ImperfectGirl]

Thanks for sharing Logan! It's so awesome that C knows she is 'dopted! How sweet of her foster mom to make albums for her. P's birth mom is also making a scrapbook for him.

I, too, want to introduce the topic very early on even though I know he won't understand. Ideally, I'd like that when someone asks him when he found out he was adopted that he could say that he always knew and not be able to pinpoint some life altering conversation.

I hope you find the best way to share some of the more difficult details with C.

 

[dcgator]

Hey everyone,

Just checking in but it sounds like everyone is enjoying good news!

Penn - Congrats on getting the house. I sympathize with you on the moving, as we are doing an interstate move as well. But being pregnant, I think we are hiring people to pack us. I knew that would come in handy somewhere, lol .

Orbaya - I hope the fingerprinting process is proceeding smoothly, so you can get your little one soon!

Logan - C is just precious, what a happy little girl! Are you in the DMV too? It's crazy how this town would just shut down if they hadn't gotten the budget patched up. My DH is a contractor, but his contract is paid through Aug, so that was a bit of a relief. Hopefully there won't be any more issues in the coming weeks...

Bella - So exciting about the new photos! That is great that the agency keeps sending you updates. I am sure it makes it feel that much more real. Btw, forgive my ignorance, but what is a tag sale?

Imperfect- Wow, Parker's parents indeed. That is just great my dear. Only a few weeks left, squee!

 

[pennquaker09]

dcgator - Thanks! Where are you moving? I hired movers and packers as well because I don't feel like that will be my main priority. I have too much going on to worry about it.

Imperfect - Parker will be here soon and I'm so excited for you. I went and looked the ultrasound photo again today and I smiled from ear to ear.

Bella- I'm glad everything is going well on your end.

Logan - She is just too stinkin' cute! I could just pinch those cheeks all day.


Everything is still moving smoothly on our end. We talked and I think we're going to name him Charles Dallas . Nate called me up and asked me what I thought and we tentatively agreed. So, for right now, that's what we're going with. i do have a habit of changing my mind, however. I went to the doctor with our birth-mom last week and everything checked out fine.

The closing on our current house is being pushed into May. We're flying to Durham tomorrow morning to close on our new house. I might live to regret saying this, but I'm really loving Bank of America right now. The twins 3rd birthday is May 8th. They're really close to their cousins and there are a few kids they have playdates with, so my SIL graciously offered her house for their party. It's going to be a week early, but I'm sure they won't care.

Still so much to do, but I think this is by far the smoothest move we've had so far. I guess because I was given more time to plan. I'm a planner and I don't like surprises all that much.