Advice? Friend received an ex''s e-ring

[crafftygrrl]

I agree with the others on the forum. You both need to go into counseling. If he won''t, you need to do it for yourself. When he''s a jerk, you need to find ways to let him know that his behaviour is unacceptable.

Do you have a job or a career? You need to focus on that too. You need to find ways to build your self confidence and independence (both emotionally and financially).

He should not have brought his family into this. This whole issue should have been between the both of you.

You both agreed upon a budget of $5K. He should not have been an idiot at the store. He should have been pleasant at the store and helped you choose the stone and the setting. The way it went down, you would have been better going to the store yourself and letting him watch football at home.

You remember the old Ann Landers saying "Are you better off with him or without him?"

Only you can answer that question.

I wish you the best.

 

[fire&ice]

Date: 12/19/2005 7:29:35 PM
Author: widget

Author: movie zombie
perhaps ''its cheaper than a divorce'' would shut him and your MIL up.

MZ.....LOL....you''re the best!!!

Kate...in all seriousness, you have my deepest sympathies. I think Movie Zombie''s advice regarding reading up on P/A behaviour is excellent:


at this point, i think these interactions are emotionally abusive. passive aggressive behavior gives such mixed signals and always will leave you thinking there is something wrong with you. learn more about it and how to counter it.

Good luck!
widget

Darn, I have to ride on this bandwagon. Please get professional help. It could be as simple as his lack of communication.

When my husband of 20 years saw my anni ring, he got down on one knee and proposed again. It was a moment of humor as I asked if he was pleased I was 2 budget or that i finally had a ring of my dreams. he said "both". men do think of bottom line way more than women - it''s just where do you draw the line? and how can you come to resolve. it wasn''t until a few months later that he "got it".

 

[codex57]

Date: 12/19/2005 7:59:27 PM
Author: crafftygrrl
When he''s a jerk, you need to find ways to let him know that his behaviour is unacceptable.

The way it went down, you would have been better going to the store yourself and letting him watch football at home.

Let him know he was a retard. Best to have another girl do this. That way, it''s not just you nagging him constantly. Sounds like his sister would make a useful ally in this.

He is really insensitive. That likely will never change? Any chance of taking what gestures he''s willing to make and run with it? Like just pick the ring by yourself? It''s not ideal, but from the small number of samples you''ve been kind enough to share, I dunno if he''ll make enough of a change to be really appreciated.