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Advice on my dear cat Mittens (long)

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Oh gosh Harleigh. Thanks so much for answering. I worried that was a little much to share on this forum. But I felt like it was important to share honestly.

Yes. FI is disappointed but he is grieving so much (I think he is shocked -- he''s never had a pet before) that we kinda just agreed to move on from my relapse and work on preventing another one. I used to go to meetings all the time and it seems like that''s what I should do now. I have support on that level; I just have to ask for it.

You know,I actually slept last night. More than any night the last few weeks. I think the relief in knowing she''s not in pain anymore is huge.

hugs back to you, Harleigh. Thanks for being there for me.
 
Oh gosh, I'm just so very sorry...yes, we "knew" too...didn't make it easier...I totally understand and while I do think a little piece of your heart dies, I think it comes back over time....I too am one of those people who cares sooo deeply for their little furry children...When we lost our Scotty, my husband actually developed physical signs of stress from losing him...but it did go away and your heart does get repaired...I also made the decision to be in the room with him when they put him down...felt like I owed it to him...I also felt the relief and the guilt....it was hard on us to care for him and part of me was happy it was over...it's normal and not to beat yourself up over...I'm sorry for your loss but you can know that you gave your kitty a great life...it does take time but sadness will be replaced with fond memories one day...Head bonks....
 
Very sorry to read about Mittens. I have never had to put a pet down, my own puppy is just 3 yrs old. From what I hear, it is very difficult to let go because, unlike anything else in this world, pets only show constant love and affection (most of the time anyway
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) and of course, their 100% loyalty.

Be proud that you gave Mittens such a wonderful life, from beginning to end...
 
Oh honey, my heart just broke a little bit reading your posts. I know the incredible pain you must be in. Please try to take some comfort from the fact that you gave Mittens a wonderful life full of love, in a safe and happy home. And when the end came, you did the truly selfless, but the most difficult thing - you stayed with her until the last, painless moment, and so she passed with dignity and knowing how deeply she was loved.

I am so very sorry for your loss.

I will send healing thoughts and prayers to you and your FI, and also strength, that you can get right back on track after your slip - I know its what Mittens would have wanted. There is absolutely no shame in being human and messing up sometimes, its how you deal with the setbacks that defines you. I think its wonderful that you have support available and wish you every possible bit of success in taking advantage of that support and staying strong.
 
I just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear about everything. We are all human, please don''t beat yourself up. We all cope in our own way, and sometimes things seem to be so overwhelming. I hope that you can take comfort in the fact that you gave your kitty a love filled and happy life, and a peaceful passing. Please take care of yourself.
 
Oh, matilda, reading your post made me cry. I know exactly what you''re going through because I went through it with my baby that I had for 17 years, a beautiful seal point Siamese named Arthur. He was my one and only and it was my decision to put him down--he had kidney failure and hung in there for a long time--but I knew when he was past the point of no return and just in really bad shape. It was so hard but at the same time I knew it had to happen, and I know you know that same feeling. *hugs* It will get better eventually.
 
I''m so sorry to hear that Mittens had to be put down. Please don''t feel guilty-I know that it''s natural to feel like that, but you did everything for Mittens and she had an amazing life. Take care and sending hugs.
 
Matilda, I''m so sorry for all you''ve had to go through lately. It''s not surprising to me at all that you fell briefly off the wagon - you were using all of your strength up on Mittens. Be kind to yourself; you''re in my thoughts.
 
i have added thoughts of Mittens to my ongoing candle ritual............

movie zombie
 
oh thanks so much everyone. I got home tonight, FI is at school until late and I''m alone here. Reading your posts made me cry but also made my heart swell with love.

moremoremore Bia, AmberGretchen, FireGoddess, gwendolyn, bee*, pjean and moviezombie -thank you from the bottom of my heart. hope I didn''t miss anyone, my mind''s not quite with it!

pjean, I am going to think of what you said about using all my strength up on mittens. It really helps a lot. And I thank you, moviezombie, for adding mittens to your candle ritual. I''m tearing up again.
 
Oh sweetie *HUGS* - I''m so sorry you are home alone tonight. I''m sending comforting thoughts your way and hoping your FI gets home soon to take care of you.
 
Words just cannot express how very sorry I am. By the way this is the female half of 2Artists. I''m usually the one in Hangout and he''s the one figuring stuff out in RockyTalky as a general rule. I updated him about your dear cat Mittens and he was so sad and sorry also. Know that your dear little Mittens is now free of all pain and cares and is at perfect peace and perfect rest now and is smiling on you. Be kind to yourself through this. You can get through this. You can focus on babysteps and getting through things a minute at a time. Take time to do kind things for yourself that are comforting to you. Take a bath, watch a wonderful movie, eat your favorite foods, look at the stars, take a walk with your FI, listen to crickets, listen to a play list of your favorite music. But above all be kind and loving to yourself. Treat yourself with the same kindness you would treat a friend and reach for help when you need it. Sending prayers and hugs.
 
*Hugs*

I''m so sorry. Losing a pet is so difficult, but I''m glad you made her last weeks as comfortable as possible. She knew she was loved.
 
Oh honey. I''m just so very very sorry. Your posts have been little hammers to my heart, and I''ve been... well, watching but not posting. I''m sorry about that too. Please know that from your posts I know you were the most amazing mom to your baby, and that Mittens knew it. I know how incredibly sad and bereft you feel. I do... but she''s not in pain anymore, and you gave her everything you had, with nothing held back. ((HUGE HUGS)).
 
AG, 2Artists (female half!), ladypirate and gypsy - thank you so much. Your powerful posts touch my heart so.

2Artists, please give my thanks to the other, Mr., half.


I''m doing well as can be. You all have helped me so much. I put in an adoption application on Peaches, a large boy cat (hee! what a name!) who lives at the vet''s. I became attached to him during my many waiting hours these past few months. He has another offer but they already have many pets, so I was urged to put in an application in case this tentative home doesn''t work out.

I know it''s very early but FI and I think our place feels like a tomb. It''s terrible not having any animals to love. I kept obsessing on Peaches and finally FI said, "we wouldn''t have gotten this great apt. if you hadn''t just jumped in and taken a chance and applied. Go for it." That looks funny, you probably can get what he meant. My vet''s office, who fosters Peaches, were thrilled. They said they are putting a gold star on my application. If he doesn''t work out, I''ll know he went to a good home and I''ll be fine. But I really felt a pull to try. I must sound crazy!
 
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Matilda I am so sorry to hear about mittens
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it is so sad when furbabies leave us
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in the end though you gave her a happy life and the peace and comfort to move on.

I really hope your application for Peaches approves I know it won''t bring Mittens back but it does help lessen the emptiness of it all.
 
Matilda,
Your posts have truly moved me because I have an elderly cat with spinal disease who may not be with us much longer. My eyes are welling up because I understand how much Mittens means to you (present tense because memories mean Mittens is still with you). As Bia and others have said, you and your FI gave Mittens a loving home and wonderful life. I think it is great that you have started the adoption process for Peaches. You are a good person who will care and give another cat everything he needs. I would like to think that this is a fitting way to honor Mittens and continue your kitty''s legacy. Many hugs.
 
i think i adopted the 9 over the course of time to help in dealing with my agining population and the inevitable. now with a mere 5 the house feels only 1/2 full.

i think Mittens would approve of Peaches.......and if not Peaches, then another kitty or two or three or.......!

movie zombie
 
Mathildawong: I''m so sorry to hear about the loss of your dear friend -- hugs to you and FI from Sueaky, Maya and me. I hope you''ll be able to adopt Peaches (what a name for a big guy!) and if not, that the right cat will come along soon.
 
Sorry for your loss. We lost our beloved 16 yr old. Walter last year to similar circumstances.
 
Hi Molly,

I''m so sorry I missed all of your updates these past few days. I just got home and wanted to let you know I was thinking of you. I hope you are able to adopt a new furball...I am counting down the days until I can get another little bundle to spoil and love, too, but FI and I agreed to wait until after the wedding and then the reception in August, and I think the wait may kill me!

I''m glad to hear you are handling things a bit better...please hang in there and know I''m thinking of you. Please let us know if Peaches gets a good home with you and your FI. Hugs!
 
Date: 5/30/2008 1:27:00 AM
Author: matildawong
AG, 2Artists (female half!), ladypirate and gypsy - thank you so much. Your powerful posts touch my heart so.


2Artists, please give my thanks to the other, Mr., half.



I''m doing well as can be. You all have helped me so much. I put in an adoption application on Peaches, a large boy cat (hee! what a name!) who lives at the vet''s. I became attached to him during my many waiting hours these past few months. He has another offer but they already have many pets, so I was urged to put in an application in case this tentative home doesn''t work out.


I know it''s very early but FI and I think our place feels like a tomb. It''s terrible not having any animals to love. I kept obsessing on Peaches and finally FI said, ''we wouldn''t have gotten this great apt. if you hadn''t just jumped in and taken a chance and applied. Go for it.'' That looks funny, you probably can get what he meant. My vet''s office, who fosters Peaches, were thrilled. They said they are putting a gold star on my application. If he doesn''t work out, I''ll know he went to a good home and I''ll be fine. But I really felt a pull to try. I must sound crazy!
Click to expand...

I don''t think its crazy at all - I think its wonderful that you have so much love that you feel you could give another sweet kitty a wonderful home. I''ll send good thoughts and prayers for your application, and if it doesn''t work out, I know Mittens will send another wonderful kitty your way soon.
 
hi, thanks everyone for your words.
Spike, I''m so sorry about your Walter last year.

I called the lady, Penny, who runs the shelter about Peaches. She said they did place him but she has my app. ready in case his home doesn''t work out. She says they are a nice family and we agreed we do not wish for it to NOT work out. They love him, too. BUT they do have 2 siamese and a dog. So I am next if it doesn''t work out.

I am trying hard to not obsess. But I am totally obsessing on Peaches.
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Penny says they''re giving it a week to see. In the meantime, there are plenty other cats that need homes. I look at their pics on the website and how do you choose? I am drawn to 11 yr old Micia but feel it''s too hard for me to take in a senior so soon. If you start thinking about this stuff too hard it will drive you insane!
 
... thanks again for all the posts. I keep re-reading them. I''m really in a weird spot. I haven''t slept much -- more than my usual insomnia. I wake up every hour or so and have to go through falling asleep all over again. I almost dread it.

I have lingering hangover feeling from Monday. (My own fault, I know.)

And I feel like I''m behind some screen from everybody else. Like I''m not in this world and I''m watching from afar. My skin feels prickly and I''m irritable. And yet people I know are commenting on how well I''m doing.

Is this all grief-related, do you think?
 
yes.......

movie zombie
 
thanks, movie zombie. I feel so weird. If this is grief, then I am feeling it.


...which is a good thing considering how I like to drink and be numb. It''s better for me to feel it.
 
I think it is all grief-related and you are handling things the best way you know how, and so is your body. I swear I still have those moments when I can''t believe Maverick is gone, and I feel I would do anything to have him back, if only for an hour or two. You will get past this, but please allow yourself time to grieve, and don''t let anyone tell you how long they think it should take...if I''m any indication, it could very well be a lifetime. Please do what you think is necessary to get through this and try to hang in there. I hope you have a restful night.
 
thanks, Harleigh.

I am taking it easy. I hope you are well.
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I''m hanging in...I have a lot going on and am working on the one day at a time thing. Easier said than done, but I am giving it my best shot. I''m sure that when school is out in 2 weeks I''ll get more done, but right now I just feel like I can''t catch up. It''s just crazy!

Now go get some sleep, hun...no use making yourself sick, too. Hugs!
 
its much like shock....and it is a shock. i so admire your ability to articulate it.

movie zombie
 
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