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Am I Cheap

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"lakerkobe



Pricescope is a diamond appreciation forum. If you are expecting an accurate reflection of most womens views on an engagement ring from this place then you are not very intelligent. Clearly the diamond part IS more important here, and if you have a problem with people valuing and appreciating diamonds then let me encourage you to leave this place to those of us that enjoy such things."


You nailed it on the head. I am not very intelligent.

Congratulations. What I did was state an opinion and you resort to personal insults. How good you must feel about yourself.
 
Date: 4/25/2005 12:40:39 PM
Author: lakerkobe
I suppose I am not surprised by the (over)reaction to my thoughts.

Double standards are just beautiful.
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I''m a little confused. So, you insinuate that a women doesn''t reciprocate monetarily to a man. You call it a double standard. Then believe when we reply that your ASSumptions aren''t true, we are "protesting to much" i.e. really are guilty of your WRONG assumption.

Shay mentions that your not so smart if you think you aren''t going to get more of a pro-diamond stance ON A DIAMOND BOARD and you get PERSONALLY insulted.

Do you not find the tragic beauty in YOUR double standard?

But, let me get back to banging my head against the door while depriving my husband of some tangible desire.
 
"Shay mentions that your not so smart if you think you aren''t going to get more of a pro-diamond stance ON A DIAMOND BOARD and you get PERSONALLY insulted."

In a sentence in which you agree with someone else about my lack of intelligence, please have the decency to contract ''you'' and ''are'' correctly. The word is YOU''RE.


Now about that intelligence issue?
 
Date: 4/26/2005 11:32:50 AM
Author: lakerkobe
''Shay mentions that your not so smart if you think you aren''t going to get more of a pro-diamond stance ON A DIAMOND BOARD and you get PERSONALLY insulted.''

In a sentence in which you agree with someone else about my lack of intelligence, please have the decency to contract ''you'' and ''are'' correctly. The word is YOU''RE.


Now about that intelligence issue?
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Oh yes, I forgot. Pardon the incredible henious sin. And, goes to one of my mantras - If you can''t say anything creative or intelligent, call into question someone''s grammer. Such a pity expected response.

You just don''t get it. If you have such little regard for women & their generosity, I suggest taking a step back.
 
"Oh yes, I forgot. Pardon the incredible henious sin. And, goes to one of my mantras - If you can''t say anything creative or intelligent, call into question someone''s grammer. Such a pity expected response."


Ahh. Another famous mistake from those of us who are illiterate. The word is "grammar."
 
Date: 4/25/2005 11
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Author: Dancing Fire
Date: 4/25/2005 11:53:16 AM

Author: researcher

I am currently saving up (I just started working after finishing grad school and don''t want to touch my stocks) for a watch for my SO as a (belated) engagement present. Yes, this will be in addition to the wedding gift. There is only a $1500 difference in cost between the watch he wants and the 3+ carat stone I received.
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researcher


what kind of watch are you getting him? i love mechanical watches.
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At this time (for he has changed his mind 3 times) we''re looking at an all platinum Chopard--It''s spectacular! I can''t remember the model number (although my SO has pictures of it EVERYWHERE) but it''s a gorgeous watch. Thanks for asking!!!
 
Date: 4/25/2005 12:11:58 PM
Author: lakerkobe
'It's NOT about the MONEY. It's about knowing your to be's preferences, desires & your recognition of such. It's a sacrifice to yeild to someone else's desires than your own. To each his own. Your to be may not even want a ring. She may think it's a waste of money. It's important to know that as well.'


And what, pray tell, did you buy him?


My point is that if it was customer for the woman to buy the man a ridiculously expensive piece of earth to wear on his body as a sybol of their love and marriage, I believe that a LOT less money would be spent.
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I suggest you stop trying to point out the flaws in OTHER people's grammar, when you YOURSELF apparently don't know the difference between the word CUSTOMER and CUSTOMARY in the above post.

Why don't you step back for just a freaking SECOND and see that these people are trying to have a reasonable discussion with you, while all you seem to be capable of doing is throwing around your rude, one-sided opinion. Everyone is entitled to an opinion, but if you are going to throw yours around, then you better be big enough to realize that there are other completely valid points of view that do NOT agree with yours. Hmmm - I'm wondering aloud now...are you so upset about some perceived double standard because you want something expensive and YOUR girlfriend/fiancee/whatever won't buy it for you??????
 
Well said FireGodess!!
 
Touche on my error.

But why don't YOU take a step back and read through the posts and realize that all I did was state my opinion and immediately I had 3 or 4 hawks jump down my throat?

And about my wanting something expensive from my girlfriend? I would never even come close to having the gaul it would take to expect her to ever buy me anything. If she felt like doing so, great. If she ever DID buy me something that she was proud of and hoping I would appreciate, I can assure you DISAPPOINTMENT would NEVER enter my thoughts.
 
Lakerlobe,
The problem was not you stating your opinion, it was you trying to state OUR opinions from our posts--and your perceptions were not accurate. We tried to clarify what we were saying, and instead of recognizing that you jumped to the defensive.
 
Never once did I try to STATE YOUR opinions. That would be impossible and absurd. I simply stated my own opinion only to have 3 or 4 women gang up. Amazingly no men have done so.

Maybe I struck a chord with these women.
 
Date: 4/26/2005 12:14:12 PM
Author: lakerkobe
Never once did I try to STATE YOUR opinions. That would be impossible and absurd. I simply stated my own opinion only to have 3 or 4 women gang up. Amazingly no men have done so.

Maybe I struck a chord with these women.
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You struck a chord with all women since you made an incredibly sexist comment. Why would you assume that if it were customary for women to give men an engagement gift that we would not spend the monetary equivalent as an engagement ring?
 
Because in the REAL world we deal in REALITY. And the REALITY of the situation is, no matter how much of a stereotype it may have been, what I said is actually true as a rule. Not for all women of course. But in general it is certainly A FACT that women are cheaper than men.

If there are any honest women out there who want to come to terms with reality and admit this is true... please do. Otherwise, those of you who disagree can go on living in your fantasy world and pretend that women are not cheaper than men in general.

I don't know if I can count on all my digits the number of women I have met during my life who have told me that they never buy drinks at bars and go to certain bars just because they know they are more of the meat market type where they know men will buy them drinks all night.

Women are just friggin' cheap in general.

Do I look like an ass because I am willing to tell the truth? Maybe. But the truth hurts sometimes.
 
Date: 4/26/2005 12:22:20 PM
Author: lakerkobe
Because in the REAL world we deal in REALITY. And the REALITY of the situation is, no matter how much of a stereotype it may have been, what I said is actually true as a rule. Not for all women of course. But in general it is certainly A FACT that women are cheaper than men.

If there are any honest women out there who want to come to terms with reality and admit this is true... please do. Otherwise, those of you who disagree can go on living in your fantasy world and pretend that women are not cheaper than men in general.

I don''t know if I can count on all my digits the number of women I have met during my life who have told me that they never buy drinks at bars and go to certain bars just because they know they are more of the meat market type where they know men will buy them drinks all night.

Women are just friggin'' cheap in general.

Do I look like an ass because I am willing to tell the truth? Maybe. But the truth hurts sometimes.
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Ouch. That was such a sexist and ignorant generalization! Ugh
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Old attitudes die hard, and it's inevitable that some man is going to label her goldigger, LOL. Over a 1ct diamond? If you shop patiently you can get a premium cut 1ct H or maybe even G eye clean from top or prongable inclusion I1 on the Internet for under $3000 so I wouldn't call 1ct unobtainable.
Not bothering to read through all the posts for this thread, more likely the woman's disappointment stems from the fact that when this relationship started you were employed and at very good salary but now you are unemployed. That's as equally stressful and worrisome for her as it is for you, since you are an important part of her life. Are the drums job-related or income earning? If not, inevitably she sees that purchase as frivolous or immature or bad timing. Have you changed from when you courted her? Speaking from experience, maybe it's not the ring that she is disappointed in, it is you, but it can be difficult if not impossible to say to a loved one "Hey, I'm really disappointed in this situation and starting to get PO'd at you but I'm trying really hard not to be, so get your act together and don't even think about drums until then."
From a practical standpoint, there are several things you can do with a setting to make the diamond look 1ct or larger by using a narrow band and surrounding the center stone with a halo of smaller diamonds, an illusion head, a fishtail head, maybe a bezel plus halo, or some other type that puts a reflecting band of white metal around the diamond. If your diamond is really eye-popping, just invest in a fancy setting that boosts it's apparent diameter a little and she may be really pleased with it. But let her pick the setting.
 
Sexist? Yeah... I can see that.

Generalization? Certainly... but most truths are generalizations.

Ignorant? Not even close.
 
Date: 4/26/2005 12:22:20 PM
Author: lakerkobe
Because in the REAL world we deal in REALITY. And the REALITY of the situation is, no matter how much of a stereotype it may have been, what I said is actually true as a rule. Not for all women of course. But in general it is certainly A FACT.
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Well, it certainly can''t be ''true as a rule'' or a fact since that is not the reality. When the majority of couples get engaged, the man gives a woman a ring. A woman may give the man a gift as well, I believe the custom is a watch, but not always. Your original statement was that IF it were customary for the woman to give the man the main engagement gift, the woman would spend less. This is not a fact. This is not reality. This is your opinion. And I''m sorry, but no matter how much you might think it to be true, your opinion is not fact.
 
Unfortunately (and I really mean unfortunately) in this case my opinion IS a fact.
 
Date: 4/26/2005 12:22:20 PM
Author: lakerkobe
I don''t know if I can count on all my digits the number of women I have met during my life who have told me that they never buy drinks at bars and go to certain bars just because they know they are more of the meat market type where they know men will buy them drinks all night.
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I know plenty of men who go to Vegas and try to get as many comps for free drinks and food as they can. Isn''t this just as "cheap"?
 
Date: 4/26/2005 12:22:20 PM
Author: lakerkobe
Because in the REAL world we deal in REALITY. And the REALITY of the situation is, no matter how much of a stereotype it may have been, what I said is actually true as a rule. Not for all women of course. But in general it is certainly A FACT that women are cheaper than men.

If there are any honest women out there who want to come to terms with reality and admit this is true... please do. Otherwise, those of you who disagree can go on living in your fantasy world and pretend that women are not cheaper than men in general.

I don''t know if I can count on all my digits the number of women I have met during my life who have told me that they never buy drinks at bars and go to certain bars just because they know they are more of the meat market type where they know men will buy them drinks all night.

Women are just friggin'' cheap in general.

Do I look like an ass because I am willing to tell the truth? Maybe. But the truth hurts sometimes.
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If you are willing to accept a generalization based on a FEW people as the basis for what you state as FACT, then you MUST also accept one when it is against YOUR sex. If all women are cheap because, for example, some of them go to bars and want men to buy drinks for them, then ALL MEN are DESPERATE because they do it. All men in general. Yep, it''s a fact.

Now, I don''t believe that for a second. But I also don''t believe that women are "cheap" in general. Maybe you think so because the women you''ve encountered ARE cheap. But to go calling out an entire group of people on that observation is asinine.

Stereotypes never did ANYTHING nice for ANYONE. Sure, there are always going to be some people that fit the bill. But there are always going to be just as many people who DON''T. To go throwing a stereotype around in people''s faces...one which is insulting to the great lot of them...is just rude. And childish. But you''re a pathetic, desperate man, right? Because as I said above, all men are. But be proud! It''s according to your logic that I say that!!!!
 
lakerlobe: "If it is not about the money, then why is it about the size of the diamond for a lot of women?"

Carat isn''t the only criteria that increases the price of a diamond. I know there are many women out there for whom carat is the only "C" that matters to them - They could have a misshapen, I3, O color, 7 carat rock and be perfectly happy because it is BIG. On the otherhand, some women value high clarity, and nothing less than VS1 will do. For many women on Pricescope, cut has become the most important "C", and size doesn''t matter. My point is that there are several factors that go into determining diamond prices, and people will prefer one aspect over another depending on what is important to them, which can be based on what their mother wore, what their friends wear, their physical activity levels or occupations, etc.

My soon-to-be husband proposed without a ring, and I was thrilled! He proposed when he did because (in his own words) "I didn''t want to wait any longer to ask you to marry me". We ended up going to Walmart to buy a "placeholder" $8.88 CZ ring until he presented me with a diamond (his desire, not mine). He bought me a beautiful ring, .38 cts, and believe me, it was a sacrifice for him. He chose the setting himself, he picked out a gorgeous firey diamond, and he made payments for a month, all while he was just 2 months into a new job after being unemployed for almost a year. Was he "cheap" getting me "only" a 3/8 carat diamond? In some circles, yes he was. But in my world, he showed me he was willing to work for us, he was willing to sacrifice new video games and DVDs to give me a "society-approved" symbol of our love and committment to each other. Yes, I wanted an engagement ring, but I was truly happy with my fake Walmart ring until he was ready. Would I have been unhappy with the fake ring if he''d gone out and blown $500 on video games or a new game console the next day? Yes, because that indicates that he thinks more of himself than of me, which is not a good sign if we want a successful marriage. Marriage isn''t about diamonds, or boats, or watches, or video games, it is about the love and committment shared by two people who put their partner above themself.

And I don''t want to sound hoity-toity when I say this, but shouldn''t we ALL (F&I? lakerlobe?) have moved past name-calling and petty insults when we stopped going to recess? We are adults people!
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Yes. I am a pathetic, desperate man.

Chords. Struck.
 
JCJD... great post.

About the name calling... I have not called anyone a name. F&I can''t say the same, however.
 
I think it''s time we stop letting lakerkobe get to us. I feel bad for him and his pessimistic outlook on life. If he feels this is the case in "his world", let him. As a psychologist we are not supposed to do such things, but this forum is not meant to be a place for people to work through their issues and I therefore am done. If he wants to think the women of the world are bad, bad people, let him. Obviously he does not respect women enough to deserve a woman who would treat him as many of us would treat our men. I mean, should I now say that I''m buying my SO an $80,000 car with my first paycheck? It''s a true statement but it''s not going to do any good. We are not going to get through to lakerkobe so I say we drop it.

Who''s with me?
 
Dropped. But I was done anyway.
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The crazy thing is that I have not called anyone a name or insulted anyone personally. The same cannot be said for most of you who have responded to what I said originally.

I am the bad guy... yet I am the one having direct insults hurled at him.

Mindboggling.
 
Date: 4/26/2005 12:50:27 PM
Author: lakerkobe
JCJD... great post.


About the name calling... I have not called anyone a name. F&I can''t say the same, however.
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Thank you.

And actually, I believe you just called F&I a name caller, you name caller you!
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LOL. Well... I suppose there is a smidgen of truth in that... albeit a very small smidgen. Which is small... because as we all know... any smidgen is small... so a small smidgen must be extremely small.
 
Date: 4/26/2005 12:54
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3 PM
Author: lakerkobe
The crazy thing is that I have not called anyone a name or insulted anyone personally. The same cannot be said for most of you who have responded to what I said originally.

I am the bad guy... yet I am the one having direct insults hurled at him.

Mindboggling.
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This will be my last post on the subject. Lakerkobe, I do not dislike you. I don''t agree with you, but that''s another issue.

However...don''t you get it yet? You did call ALL of us a name and insulted us. You called all women cheap. That means you are calling ALL of us cheap, and we don''t appreciate it. That''s the only reason any of us have tried to reason with you. Some stranger comes on here and starts saying all women (threfore all of us) are cheap? It''s not nice, and it''s hurtful. Seriously.
 
Stick a fork in me cause I''m DONE!!!
 
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