Any animosity from diamond size??

[diamondfan]

Yes, Trillionaire, I do too! No worries...

 

[trillionaire]

Date: 7/13/2008 1:08:42 PM
Author: legatogirl
OK, this has nothing to do with the OP but I was skimming and saw Trillionaire''s comment about being new etc..just wanted to say that people do read your posts...yesterday I was in Sam''s Club inquiring about a wedding band they sell and saw a trillion-cut in their display case and I immediately thought...I know someone who would appreciate that!!

*Running off to Sam''s Club*

Thanks LG, I love PS

 

[littlelysser]

Date: 7/13/2008 12:28:12 PM
Author: risingsun
I think it''s easy to lose perspective on PS. When we start saying that a 1 ct ring is modest, that concerns me. I am linking to Gwendolyn''s survey on avergage size of engagement rings on PS. Statistics off this board are smaller.

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/results-have-been-calculated-and-the-average-ps-e-ring-size-is.85960/

Please save your concern for better causes, seriously. I am well aware of the disparity between the average diamond size and that of the average on PS.

If you''ll read my post in the proper context, I said that my friend who is very wealthy and comes from old money has a one carat ring - which in that context, is quite a modest diamond, given her situation. So yeah.

 

[tberube]

Date: 7/11/2008 5:11:13 PM
Author: meresal
the rube: I''m sorry to hear about the friendship you lost. This is exactly the kind of thing I was originally thinking about when I posed the question. What a horrible situation.

Well, like I always say: weddings bring out the best in people, and also the worst. I guess I found out what kind of person she is. Better to know now than later.

 

[reader]

My ring is larger than most that I run into around here....and when someone excitedly shows me their ring, they always shoot a slightly uncomfy glance at mine. I go on about how well cut the stone is, or how the style suits their hands or other jewelry...and gush to the wall. It seems to help.

 

[risingsun]

Date: 7/13/2008 5:38:15 PM
Author: littlelysser

Date: 7/13/2008 12:28:12 PM
Author: risingsun
I think it's easy to lose perspective on PS. When we start saying that a 1 ct ring is modest, that concerns me. I am linking to Gwendolyn's survey on avergage size of engagement rings on PS. Statistics off this board are smaller.

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/results-have-been-calculated-and-the-average-ps-e-ring-size-is.85960/

Please save your concern for better causes, seriously. I am well aware of the disparity between the average diamond size and that of the average on PS.

If you'll read my post in the proper context, I said that my friend who is very wealthy and comes from old money has a one carat ring - which in that context, is quite a modest diamond, given her situation. So yeah.

I am entitled to express things which concern me even if you do not agree with it. It was meant as a reality check within the context of this topic. Your post did prompt me to respond, but it was not directed toward you. I did not quote your post and was not sarcastic to you. You read too much into my post in regard to your own.

 

[Pushin40]

I LOVE DIAMONDS! And all jewelery for that matter! I also love HUGE sparkley, well cut, big, white DIAMONDS!

And I am proud to say I want the biggest and the best diamond I can get. Now - This doesn''t make me materialistic, or "more loved", or frivolous with our money. We will get what we want. And that is between me and my SO.

I am not worried what others will think and if my future ring causes someone to feel uncomfortable or competetive, too BAD! Whatever - that''s their problem!!

I get a lot of attention and compliments for my 5.44 carat cushon cut tanzanite, which is set in 2.5 carats of diamonds, It''s gorgeous, and it''s my pride and joy. I wear it every day to work, all the time really, becuase I want to enjoy it. Hey - I could get hit by a bus tomorrow, ya know?

I''ve NEVER been put in an uncomfortable position because of it, and when my good friends ask me to try it on some of them laugh because they think its ridiculously huge (it is, but I''m used to it.) And some LOVE it and wish they had one too.

But they are my friends, and real friends don''t complete.

 

[fieryred33143]

Mer---he''s been paying for the ring since last October?!?!?! That''s 8 months of payments!!! That''s crazy. Are you sure its not that he couldn''t afford the stone you want??

I read this great article once on this exact same subject. It was about a woman that wanted to get engaged and was part of the ring buying process. She wanted what she wanted (rightfully so we''re all entitled) but her guy couldn''t afford it so she made him buy it and do payments. A year later he was still paying for it and with every payment he grew more and more resentful until he finally left her (I''m guessing there were more problems here than just paying off the ring). Still, she ended up with the payments herself (it was in his and her name).

I guess there''s no point to my post except that I think its safe to say your guy loves you very much because asking someone to make payments for that long of a period of time so that you can have the ring your heart desires...well that''s some serious love.

 

[dreaming of the day]

Date: 7/11/2008 3:27:48 PM
Author: that_someone_special
Crap. I was just thinking I was early 20''s.. but I''m 24.5 and that''s midtwenties to me. WHERE DID THE TIME GO??

Me too! It is kinda scary to think I am no longer in my early 20''s and I didn''t even think about it till now - thanks!

 

[meresal]

Date: 7/14/2008 1:11:03 PM
Author: fieryred33143
Mer---he's been paying for the ring since last October?!?!?! That's 8 months of payments!!! That's crazy. Are you sure its not that he couldn't afford the stone you want??

I read this great article once on this exact same subject. It was about a woman that wanted to get engaged and was part of the ring buying process. She wanted what she wanted (rightfully so we're all entitled) but her guy couldn't afford it so she made him buy it and do payments. A year later he was still paying for it and with every payment he grew more and more resentful until he finally left her (I'm guessing there were more problems here than just paying off the ring). Still, she ended up with the payments herself (it was in his and her name).

I guess there's no point to my post except that I think its safe to say your guy loves you very much because asking someone to make payments for that long of a period of time so that you can have the ring your heart desires...well that's some serious love.

Fiery, I feel like we share ALOT of things in common with our posts, and I love chatting back and forth with you, but please believe me when I tell you, this was all HIS decision. I picked out the setting and HE picked out the stone.

He and I share this fear of writing checks that are in large amounts. (ie, I have to write my insurance in two separate checks for the simple fact that I hate seeing the money leave my account.) We're big savers, and not big spenders. It is some serious love

!!! Actually I was planning on an engagement by March, but he asked if I could wait so that he could get me a better diamond that what I wanted. In that time we decided a week trip to Disney World was in order, and it got pushed back a bit. We have a set saving each month and an amount that we decided to never let our savings accounts go below, so even though he wanted a bigger diamond, I told him we had to continue with the saving shedule. Which has worked out perfectly!!

Sssh... but I think he made the last payment last week

I'm trying not to jynx it...

ETA: Not sure if this was expressed, but he is not paying off a credit card. (We don't use them unless we plan on paying it off at the end of the month.) He has been paying directly to the jeweler while the ring sits in the safe, patiently waiting.

 

[fieryred33143]

OOOHHHH

I stand corrected then. I thought you picked out a diamond and asked him to just make payments for it. But if that was his choice then good for you and he''s a smart guy!!

 

[meresal]

I stand corrected then. I thought you picked out a diamond and asked him to just make payments for it. But if that was his choice then good for you and he''s a smart guy!!

Haha, no... that would be one of my best friends that wants a big diamond so badly, she told her bf to get a new credit card so that he could pay it off over time...

I had to set a 401k up for her, for the sheer fact that she spends EVERYTHING she makes. LOL!! I do what I can. "take the money before she even knows it''s gone. Sometimes, that''s the only way.

 

[Mediterranean]

The only people who made any mention (in a catty way) are my future sister in law and my future mother in law.

They think he bought me too large of a diamond. And they''ve told him so.

They think I''m materialistic, and they have this idiotic notion that the ring "bled him dry."

They don''t know our financial situation because we don''t share that with them. But we''re an older couple (me= mid 30''s, him= early 40''s) and we have no kids, no student loans, no consumer debt and we''re far enough into our careers that, ya know, we don''t make entry level salaries anymore. All of our money is for us, basically. He paid for it in full (which they also don''t know) and it hasn''t created any kind of hole in our accounts.

Oh, well. I have bigger fish to fry, I can''t let it bother me.

 

[MoonWater]

Date: 7/13/2008 5:38:15 PM
Author: littlelysser

Date: 7/13/2008 12:28:12 PM
Author: risingsun
I think it''s easy to lose perspective on PS. When we start saying that a 1 ct ring is modest, that concerns me. I am linking to Gwendolyn''s survey on avergage size of engagement rings on PS. Statistics off this board are smaller.

https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/results-have-been-calculated-and-the-average-ps-e-ring-size-is.85960/

Please save your concern for better causes, seriously. I am well aware of the disparity between the average diamond size and that of the average on PS.

If you''ll read my post in the proper context, I said that my friend who is very wealthy and comes from old money has a one carat ring - which in that context, is quite a modest diamond, given her situation. So yeah.

huh? I thought she was just posting that as an FYI for everyone (lots of PS people refer to their 1 carats as small simply because they are comparing it to the larger stones on this board). Also, you should re-read the original post, the OP was not concerned about her own friend being jealous.

 

[ilovethiswebsite]

Date: 7/14/2008 1:46:50 PM
Author: meresal

I stand corrected then. I thought you picked out a diamond and asked him to just make payments for it. But if that was his choice then good for you and he''s a smart guy!!

Haha, no... that would be one of my best friends that wants a big diamond so badly, she told her bf to get a new credit card so that he could pay it off over time...

I had to set a 401k up for her, for the sheer fact that she spends EVERYTHING she makes. LOL!! I do what I can. ''take the money before she even knows it''s gone. Sometimes, that''s the only way.

Meredith - do tell us more details regarding your ring!

 

[littlelysser]

Date: 7/14/2008 3:55:37 PM
Author: MoonWater

Date: 7/13/2008 5:38:15 PM

Author: littlelysser

Date: 7/13/2008 12:28:12 PM

Author: risingsun

I think it''s easy to lose perspective on PS. When we start saying that a 1 ct ring is modest, that concerns me. I am linking to Gwendolyn''s survey on avergage size of engagement rings on PS. Statistics off this board are smaller.


https://www.pricescope.com/community/threads/results-have-been-calculated-and-the-average-ps-e-ring-size-is.85960/

Please save your concern for better causes, seriously. I am well aware of the disparity between the average diamond size and that of the average on PS.


If you''ll read my post in the proper context, I said that my friend who is very wealthy and comes from old money has a one carat ring - which in that context, is quite a modest diamond, given her situation. So yeah.

huh? I thought she was just posting that as an FYI for everyone (lots of PS people refer to their 1 carats as small simply because they are comparing it to the larger stones on this board). Also, you should re-read the original post, the OP was not concerned about her own friend being jealous.

I did misread the OP. The majority of my response was general...and I erred when I wrote the specific portion relating to her. My bad!

However, I stand by my post re: modest ring size. It was posted directly after mine, and used the same language as was in my post, THUS, it was in response to my comment and I wanted to make sure that the concern, which was expressed in response to my post, was entirely unnecessary.

 

[meresal]

ILTW: Honestly, the only thing I know is which setting it will be in (which I fell in love with), and that it will be an EC, a little under 2 ct. A few months ago he asked me if I wanted to go see it but I declined... "Be strong". Ya, right

Here's the setting: It's a Martin Flyer design

 

[ilovethiswebsite]

beautiful!!!! can''t wait to see hand pics once you get it!

 

[risingsun]

littlelysser~I have no concerns about your post or you. Evidently, the typical size of a PS ring is approximatley 1ct. As I stated previously, I posted to offer the information and not to find fault. [/end response to littlelysser]

Of course, ct size is not the only thing that others respond to. My wedding set is shared prong, so there are a lot of diamonds sparkling their little hearts out, along with the center stone. I know that people respond to the overall set and not just the center stone. People do comment on my rings and the comments are positive. I also get the "your husband must love you very much..." type responses, which make me feel odd. Is that supposed to mean if I didn't have my rings my husband didn't love me? I know that is not the intention, but it still feels

I've mentioned that I have thought of an upgrade and that's where I've gotten some looks and more negative comments, such as: you don't need a bigger ring; you're crazy; why would you do that? As a therapist, I think I'll schedule an appointment with myself and try to work through this. At $XX per session, I just might me able to afford an upgrade in a few years

 

[cbs102]

I just got engaged 2 weeks ago and one of my bestfriends from childhood (whom is getting married in september) looked at mey ring and said.. huh, its nice- mine's better. i COULD NOT believe that she even uttered those words. on a side note, i have not even heard from her since the night of my engagement.. hurt does not even describe what i am feeling right now....

 

[Lauren8211]

Date: 7/15/2008 11:53:46 AM
Author: cbs102
I just got engaged 2 weeks ago and one of my bestfriends from childhood (whom is getting married in september) looked at mey ring and said.. huh, its nice- mine''s better. i COULD NOT believe that she even uttered those words. on a side note, i have not even heard from her since the night of my engagement.. hurt does not even describe what i am feeling right now....

OMG CBS --- that is AWFUL! As if it''s some sort of competition, my goodness!!

So sorry to hear that... doesnt sound like she''s such a great friend anymore, and that''s really a shame.

Just try to focus on how happy you are that you''re marrying the man you love, and you''re wearing a ring that YOU LOVE!

 

[meresal]

Date: 7/15/2008 11:53:46 AM
Author: cbs102
I just got engaged 2 weeks ago and one of my bestfriends from childhood (whom is getting married in september) looked at mey ring and said.. huh, its nice- mine's better. i COULD NOT believe that she even uttered those words. on a side note, i have not even heard from her since the night of my engagement.. hurt does not even describe what i am feeling right now....

OMG, that is horrible!! Cbs I'm so sorry this happened. Haven't heard from her since? Are you in her wedding?

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 7/15/2008 11:53:46 AM
Author: cbs102
I just got engaged 2 weeks ago and one of my bestfriends from childhood (whom is getting married in september) looked at mey ring and said.. huh, its nice- mine''s better. i COULD NOT believe that she even uttered those words. on a side note, i have not even heard from her since the night of my engagement.. hurt does not even describe what i am feeling right now....

I''m glad she hasn''t contacted you since then. You do not need friends like that in your life.

 

[MoonWater]

Date: 7/15/2008 11:53:46 AM
Author: cbs102
I just got engaged 2 weeks ago and one of my bestfriends from childhood (whom is getting married in september) looked at mey ring and said.. huh, its nice- mine''s better. i COULD NOT believe that she even uttered those words. on a side note, i have not even heard from her since the night of my engagement.. hurt does not even describe what i am feeling right now....

Well it sucks to lose a friend, although it seems you didn''t looks a great one. Considering that she didn''t bother to speak to you again since seeing your ring pretty much indicates that your ring is, in fact, better than hers. At least in her mind. I would try not to stress about her, sounds like you''ll be better off.

 

[meresal]

CBS- I''m not sure how old you are or if this would help, but anytime I have lost a childhood friend, I''ve always gone to my mom or dad to talk about it, since they knew them as well. Almost every single time, they knew it would happen eventually. It''s amazing how parents can see things in people that we choose to look right past.

 

[cbs102]

I AM in her wedding.. that is the worst part of the whole thing.. the ironic thing is- this friend actually introduced my fiance and i... i also moved to a new state and she lives maybe 20 minutes away and really cannot be bothered...

i would never say that my ring was better than hers because everyone has their own ring taste... my ring is ornate with pave EVERYWHERE and hers is the zales special that she picked out. to each their own. i always find it hard to let go of people when i have put so much effort into that relationship. it is a very tough thing

 

[Guilty Pleasure]

Date: 7/15/2008 12:57:35 PM
Author: cbs102
I AM in her wedding.. that is the worst part of the whole thing.. the ironic thing is- this friend actually introduced my fiance and i... i also moved to a new state and she lives maybe 20 minutes away and really cannot be bothered...


i would never say that my ring was better than hers because everyone has their own ring taste... my ring is ornate with pave EVERYWHERE and hers is the zales special that she picked out. to each their own. i always find it hard to let go of people when i have put so much effort into that relationship. it is a very tough thing

Does she normally contact you more often? I agree that her comment was completely tacky and horrible, but I have lots of close friends that I don''t talk to for weeks at a time. We live in different cities and just don''t talk very often, so two weeks wouldn''t even hit my radar. If she''s planning a wedding, she could just be really self-centered and contacting you is low on her priority list right now unless she needs something from you. What a weird thing to say to you though. Sometimes I am shocked at the ability of adults to revert to third grade.

 

[cbs102]

oh no, we do speak often and she lives two towns over-- its all very odd and difficult to even fathom being in her wedding when she shows little respect for what is going on in my life.

 

[Guilty Pleasure]

yuck

Did she say it laughing or really mean-spirited? I don''t think it''s appropriate in any case, but forgiveable if she was just trying to make a joke and is the type of person who sticks her foot in her mouth. She might not have meant anything by it, and it just came out wrong, and now she''s embarassed about what she said. Maybe she''s awful, but I"m just trying to rationalize since I can''t imagine any of my friends being mean on purpose.

 

[cbs102]

nope it was a serious statement. i try to make excuses for her behavior but i cannot come up with one... you know-oh maybe she is stressed abotu her wedding ect.. but really, what does my ring have to do with it. i did say something to her though along the lines of "would it be so impossible for you to actually be happy for me?? if not, than please fake it!" my FI is also really saddened by the whole thing...