Any animosity from diamond size??

[meresal]

GP: I think you must be one of the kindest people EVER!! Do you always give everyone the benefit of the doubt?

cbs: Sounds like she''s not so happy about sharing the lime light... has she always been the kind of outspoken one and you in the background? I''ve seen that people like that tend to surround themsleves with quiter folks bc they draw all the attention. Honestly, I''ve been thinking about posting this for a while, but she sounds like someone that might ask you not to wear your ring during the ceremony bc it would draw attention. Just my .02

 

[cbs102]

you know.. she is actually pretty outspoken- but then again--so am i

i don''t sit back and take her crap- and i didn''t in this instance either. in all honesty, i expected more from her. its just a let down - and has caused a damper on this super special time in my life.

 

[Guilty Pleasure]

haha, I''m no Pollyanna but yes I do try to give people the benefit of the doubt when possible, or to think about it from the other person''s viewpoint. Every single person has something wrong with them, so as long as they''re loving or kind in their own way, I try to forgive the things that are annoying and see them for they are.

That being said, there are definitely some toxic people that only a mother could like, and it''s important to recognize these people for who they are as well and get rid of them!


It sounds like cbs has what I like to call a "situational friend" - someone who is just your friend because you happen to be in the same situation like a location or job or school etc. Time to change the situation!!

 

[cbs102]

situational is right.. we have known each other for over 20 years and that is what our friendship has been reduced to.. terrible.

 

[meresal]

Well at least you stood up for yourself. I can't beleive she didn't apologize right then, and the fact that she didn't says alot about how she values your friendship.

Again, I'm very sorry you had to experience this.


"situational friend"--- ohh ya, I've got one of those!!

 

[cbs102]

eh.. water under the bridge! thanks for the support though!!!! soon it will be YOUR turn to get engaged! YAY! so exciting!

 

[MoonWater]

Date: 7/15/2008 3:24:28 PM
Author: cbs102
you know.. she is actually pretty outspoken- but then again--so am i

i don''t sit back and take her crap- and i didn''t in this instance either. in all honesty, i expected more from her. its just a let down - and has caused a damper on this super special time in my life.

Well, I''m *severely* outspoken and I wouldn''t say such a thing to a stranger, let alone a friend. I really think she''s jealous.

 

[cbs102]

I agree that it is coming from jealousy.. although there is really nothing to be jealous of. she picked her ring out.. that was her dream ring. My ring is MY dream ring. as i said before, to each their own. I am thrilled for her and her upcoming wedding... there is no thunder being stolen. i am living my life and living it happily. she should just get over it!

 

[HollyS]

Date: 7/15/2008 12:57:35 PM
Author: cbs102
I AM in her wedding.. that is the worst part of the whole thing.. the ironic thing is- this friend actually introduced my fiance and i... i also moved to a new state and she lives maybe 20 minutes away and really cannot be bothered...

i would never say that my ring was better than hers because everyone has their own ring taste... my ring is ornate with pave EVERYWHERE and hers is the zales special that she picked out. to each their own. i always find it hard to let go of people when i have put so much effort into that relationship. it is a very tough thing

You just did point out that yours is better. "Hers is the Zales special."

Given the topic, aren''t you being just a bit ironic?

 

[cbs102]

Holly,
I love my ring and i think that my ring is better than everyone's because it is MINE. i would never say that too her face.. it is not necessary. I was pointing out the fact that we have very different taste in jewelry. Some may say that my taste is gaudy and over the top, while hers is very minimalistic. As friends of 20 years there almost should be an obligation to be happy for one another when our lives take a joyous turn. She is not and cannot be bothered. Period. I should not have made a snarky remark about her ring but it is pure frustration.

 

[fieryred33143]

I was coming on here to say that the "zales special" comment was probably made out of frustration.

I think that everyone believes their ring is better because its their ring but the difference between being classy versus not is if you say that to the person.

 

[cbs102]

Fieryred,
Thanks for reading past my snarky caddy comment. I did come across the wrong way- there is no excuse... luckily, i have PS to vent my frustration and not to said friend.

 

[diamondfan]

I have heard it all since my stone is large, and I know some people just get taken aback while others are trying to be snarky. In a million years I would never never ever insult someone''s engagement ring, I would find something nice to say, sincerely, and would not be out to hurt someone. I figure, consider the source if someone is nasty. And then I look at my gorgeous ring and forget about their attitude.

 

[cbs102]

Diamondfan,
how can anyone say anything snarky about your ring?!! my god, it is georgous!!!!!! howdo you lift your hand!!!!!!! (he he he)..

 

[HollyS]

cbs: I know you didn''t mean it to sound that way.

Do you think, maybe, she has put some distance between the two of you because she feels you are ''stealing her thunder'' by being engaged and planning a wedding before hers has happened? Every bride-to-be feels like it is THEIR moment in the spotlight; we all hate to share. Could that be the real issue for her? I don''t know how you could make her feel any better if it is the reason. (Aside from breaking up.

)

 

[cbs102]

Holly,
That could be a possibility but what can i do!?? i am not going to apologize for my happy moment... she introduced us for heaven sakes. i don''t really care anymore. she is getting married and i will be there to support her because she is an old friend and everyone deserves happiness... i will do this but i will also never forget how she deems her happiness more important than mine!

 

[ilovethiswebsite]

Date: 7/16/2008 12:16:49 PM
Author: HollyS
cbs: I know you didn''t mean it to sound that way.

Do you think, maybe, she has put some distance between the two of you because she feels you are ''stealing her thunder'' by being engaged and planning a wedding before hers has happened? Every bride-to-be feels like it is THEIR moment in the spotlight; we all hate to share. Could that be the real issue for her? I don''t know how you could make her feel any better if it is the reason. (Aside from breaking up.

)

I think that is rediculous. Practically all of my friends are getting engaged this summer and I couldn''t be happier for everyone! I am so excited to have engaged friends to go wedding shopping with! Sure - it will be a little hard on the wallet when there are 6 weddings in one summer but who cares! I think women get over involved with the whole wedding thing being THEIR day. It''s the couple''s day, and no one should wait to get engaged or have a wedding just to make someone else happy. I would NEVER have waited to get engaged just because a close friend was getting married.

 

[ilovethiswebsite]

Just to add - people with that type of mentality are generally self-centered and egocentric.

 

[cbs102]

ilovethiswebsite,
i completely agree with everything you have said. jealousy is a bitch. i just never thought that i would be dealing with it from someone that i THOUGHT i knew so well!!!

 

[surfgirl]

Weddings bring out the weird in people! It''s no wonder you always hear "wedding stories"...We eloped 2.5 months before a cousin of mine got married. Mind you, we eloped, nobody was there. We didn''t ask anyone to fly out to attend our wedding. We sent wedding announcements out right away because I was going out of country for 6 weeks right after we got married. To this day, the cousin who got married 2.5 months later, she''s never ever acknowledged I got married. She''s my first cousin. She only has two first cousins. I try to not let it bother me but it does. Not even a card or email of congratulations. Her sister sent a present/card right away. One cant help but think it''s deliberate, right? We even sent her a wedding gift (we didn''t get a thank you for almost 5 months!).

So when I read about brides to be being catty or jealous about rings, yeah, it''s pathetic but I''m not surprised. People want attention. Some people want alot of attention. Nothing you can do but be happy with your life and just let the other crap go. Life''s too short to be surrounded by people that dont add value to your life (that''s a quote from a good friend of mine who''s very wise).

 

[ilovethiswebsite]

Date: 7/16/2008 1:23:15 PM
Author: cbs102
ilovethiswebsite,
i completely agree with everything you have said. jealousy is a bitch. i just never thought that i would be dealing with it from someone that i THOUGHT i knew so well!!!

Forget her - she wasn''t a real friend to you anyway. Better not to have those kind of people in your life.

 

[fieryred33143]

Date: 7/16/2008 1:43:29 PM
Author: ilovethiswebsite

Date: 7/16/2008 1:23:15 PM
Author: cbs102
ilovethiswebsite,
i completely agree with everything you have said. jealousy is a bitch. i just never thought that i would be dealing with it from someone that i THOUGHT i knew so well!!!

Forget her - she wasn''t a real friend to you anyway. Better not to have those kind of people in your life.

Ditto.

 

[cbs102]

thanks guys! i will fill my obligation to the wedding... and then good bye!!

 

[diamondfan]

Date: 7/16/2008 9:37:13 AM
Author: cbs102
Diamondfan,

how can anyone say anything snarky about your ring?!! my god, it is georgous!!!!!! howdo you lift your hand!!!!!!! (he he he)..

You would be surprised. I have had many nasty comments like, OH! Who would want to wear something so big? It looks fake.

I just shrug...I love it so that is what counts!

 

[violet02]

Those comments are from strangers right?

I can''t imagine friends saying things like that altough I know it to be true from reading these threads. I have a lot of single friends so not much to compare against, mainly guy friends too. I have a friend with a ring just a tad smaller then mine but mine has a bigger table and a halo so it looks qute a bit bigger. I picked out the ring purely based on budget, style and a stone that I fell in love with. I did know that I would like ''more bang for my buck'' on the stone size since I like that blingy look. I''m a size 7 finger so I don''t think i overdid it at all. My friend is a size 4.5 finger so she made a bigger jump then I did. I also picked an OEC because oh how they sparkle!

The only thing I notice is that my friend will often tell people at parties when they are looking at our rings that mine appears so much bigger because my table size is larger than hers etc etc. She has an OEC too eensy bit smaller but no halo. I dont think she''s trying to be mean per se but she does overly explain something that I don''t think needs to be explained in the first place since it''s not a competiion.

I didn''t do this as a competion. I do get a lot of really lovely compliments from people on the piece though, I know something think it''s a bit large compartively but they all love the cdesign/craftmanship so that tends to be more of the focus. I got a new camera finally so I should put up a real show me the ring thread one day, my wedding band will be here soon though so I can do both at once then I guess.

Meresal - I''ve followed your posts and your story is interesting to me. I think it''s great that your FI is paying off the ring before taking it, ie not charging it and running out the door with it. That shows some resonsibility for sure. I''m so curious though about why he would choose a larger more pricey ring? Isn''t that the girls job? heh. In re: to buying rings to show off or what have you, does he feel that it''s important to show that he was able to buy you a really fabulous ring? To you and to others?

Also for those of you that had money put aside for rings, what did you use as your basis for how much to pay? Wha you could afford without going into debt? two or three months salary? Sorry to threadjack...

Seriously though women do tend to look at other women''s e-rings and compare a lot. The size of the stone though doesn''t indicate the quality or craftmanship or the meaning and many of the other things that may go into a ring we love.

 

[Deelight]

Date: 7/16/2008 11:35:25 PM
Author: diamondfan

Date: 7/16/2008 9:37:13 AM

Author: cbs102

Diamondfan,


how can anyone say anything snarky about your ring?!! my god, it is georgous!!!!!! howdo you lift your hand!!!!!!! (he he he)..

You would be surprised. I have had many nasty comments like, OH! Who would want to wear something so big? It looks fake.


I just shrug...I love it so that is what counts!

Thats terribly rude, your ring is stunning

I would be full well tempted to tell them oh well good thing then, no one will be tempted to steal it, some people need to really apply that filter.

Diamondfan You have many beautiful pieces but I have to admit one of yours that is a favourite of mine is your Hello Kitty Princess pendant

, I adore Hello Kitty .

 

[Lorelei]

Date: 7/17/2008 6:45:21 AM
Author: Deelight

Date: 7/16/2008 11:35:25 PM
Author: diamondfan

Date: 7/16/2008 9:37:13 AM

Author: cbs102

Diamondfan,


how can anyone say anything snarky about your ring?!! my god, it is georgous!!!!!! howdo you lift your hand!!!!!!! (he he he)..

You would be surprised. I have had many nasty comments like, OH! Who would want to wear something so big? It looks fake.


I just shrug...I love it so that is what counts!

Thats terribly rude, your ring is stunning

I would be full well tempted to tell them oh well good thing then, no one will be tempted to steal it, some people need to really apply that filter.

Diamondfan You have many beautiful pieces but I have to admit one of yours that is a favourite of mine is your Hello Kitty Princess pendant

, I adore Hello Kitty .

Dee is absolutely right, and DF - you wear your ring beautifully my friend!!! Hehehe..I am also partial to the HK pendant too!

 

[meresal]

Violet: Here is how I see it. His family doesn''t skimp on much, but one thing they never pass up is quality jewelry. Also, I have absolutely no say in what the diamond is other than the cut. This is what he wanted to get me, and I''m very proud of the fact that he has done it all on his own, and has learned alot in the process. He''s not a romantic, and the fact that he has spent so much time getting everything the way he wants it, makes my heart melt. He actually wanted to get a 2ct, but went smaller becasue he appreciated that he could get a better cut and color for the same money.

I never ask him for presents, and I hate when he spends money on me, bc honestly I just don''t NEED much. Having him, a roof over our heads, and a sturdy job makes me happy enough. So, I think he sees these opportunities as his chance to spoil me rotten, and I can''t say anything about how much he spent or how we could have "saved" more. As far as being the girls job to want "more"... I''ve said it before, and I''ll say it again, I would marry this guy with a paper clip wrapped around my finger. I could really care less in all honesty. He wants me to have something that I''m going to look down, smile at, and always think of him.

I hope that this may have cleared some things up for you...

 

[violet02]

Date: 7/17/2008 12:38:04 PM
Author: meresal
Violet: Here is how I see it. His family doesn''t skimp on much, but one thing they never pass up is quality jewelry. Also, I have absolutely no say in what the diamond is other than the cut. This is what he wanted to get me, and I''m very proud of the fact that he has done it all on his own, and has learned alot in the process. He''s not a romantic, and the fact that he has spent so much time getting everything the way he wants it, makes my heart melt. He actually wanted to get a 2ct, but went smaller becasue he appreciated that he could get a better cut and color for the same money.

I never ask him for presents, and I hate when he spends money on me, bc honestly I just don''t NEED much. Having him, a roof over our heads, and a sturdy job makes me happy enough. So, I think he sees these opportunities as his chance to spoil me rotten, and I can''t say anything about how much he spent or how we could have ''saved'' more. As far as being the girls job to want ''more''... I''ve said it before, and I''ll say it again, I would marry this guy with a paper clip wrapped around my finger. I could really care less in all honesty. He wants me to have something that I''m going to look down, smile at, and always think of him.

I hope that this may have cleared some things up for you...

Hey Meresal thanks for posting that, that does make sense. I was just so curious about what thought process goes behind some people''s ring choices... particularly since you didn''t pick the ring! I think in another thread you said your ring size was a 7? So I think he picked a size that will suit your finger very well. I have a size 7 finger and a 2ct would have looked fine on my finger.

 

[meresal]

Date: 7/17/2008 3:47:09 PM
Author: violet02

Date: 7/17/2008 12:38:04 PM
Author: meresal
Violet: Here is how I see it. His family doesn''t skimp on much, but one thing they never pass up is quality jewelry. Also, I have absolutely no say in what the diamond is other than the cut. This is what he wanted to get me, and I''m very proud of the fact that he has done it all on his own, and has learned alot in the process. He''s not a romantic, and the fact that he has spent so much time getting everything the way he wants it, makes my heart melt. He actually wanted to get a 2ct, but went smaller becasue he appreciated that he could get a better cut and color for the same money.

I never ask him for presents, and I hate when he spends money on me, bc honestly I just don''t NEED much. Having him, a roof over our heads, and a sturdy job makes me happy enough. So, I think he sees these opportunities as his chance to spoil me rotten, and I can''t say anything about how much he spent or how we could have ''saved'' more. As far as being the girls job to want ''more''... I''ve said it before, and I''ll say it again, I would marry this guy with a paper clip wrapped around my finger. I could really care less in all honesty. He wants me to have something that I''m going to look down, smile at, and always think of him.

I hope that this may have cleared some things up for you...

Hey Meresal thanks for posting that, that does make sense. I was just so curious about what thought process goes behind some people''s ring choices... particularly since you didn''t pick the ring! I think in another thread you said your ring size was a 7? So I think he picked a size that will suit your finger very well. I have a size 7 finger and a 2ct would have looked fine on my finger.

Yes, I am a size 7. You''re good!!

EC''s face up much smaller than other cute, so I picked a much more ornate setting to get the finger coverage... I can only imagine what it''s going to look like now!!