Any lawyers out there? Wedding advice needed

[bfready]

New FI and I are planning our wedding date. (I''ll be the groom.) I''m just finishing up my 2nd year of law school, so next year will be it for me and I''ll be ready to study for the dreaded ohio bar exam. The exam is at the end of July, and I''ve heard that the studying should be about two solid months. Barbri courses start the week after Memorial Day. I was wondering if we should plan the wedding for the few weeks between hooding and bar review courses, or if that just doesn''t make sense. I''m worried that if we shoot for Labor Day, I''ll be distracted from exam prep by wedding prep. I liked the idea of the May wedding followed by bar studying and taking followed by honeymoon. Any thoughts?

 

[scarlet16]

Hi bfready-

I''m a 3rd year evening student so next year I''ll be in my final year! YIPEE! I''ll be graduating in May, studying all summer, taking (passing hopefully) the NY & NJ bar in July and my wedding is August 22, 2008. Then we''ll be taking a few weeks off for our honeymoon before I start working in mid-September.

I''m also only going to be going to school next year so I figure I can do most of my planning during the year. Our major vendors will be booked by this year, so during next year will be the details. The last 2 months (while I''m studying for the bar), I should just be dealing w/ the invites.

HTH!

 

[peridot83]

I know from friends experiences that August/Labor Day is the month for law students to get married (haha they even got ya marrying on a schedule) When is the Ohio Bar Exam? I know for California at least there really isn't much time at all between finals/commencemnt and BAR prep (I think a week or two?) I like the idea of having the ceremony before and the honeymoon after. That would give you more options in terms of picking a date w/out worrying about shoving the honeymoon. Also, while planning a honeymoon I'm sure is somewhat distracting, it would hopefully be less people involved/less emotional stress etc and a great reward for taking the BAR!

 

[NYCsparkle]

i definately think you should get married, study, then take your honeymoon after the bar. my good friend did not leave his house for 2 1/2 months to study.--he passed. once you are married there will be no planning stress. the last month before the wedding gets kinda hectic even when everything is planned. a nice honeymoon after everything will be a relaxing treat.

 

[littlelysser]

That sounds like a good plan to me. I graduated from law school in 2001...and from what I remember, the LAST thing I''d want to worry about when studying for the bar is my wedding.

Get married...study your butt off...take the exam and then take a killer honeymoon!

 

[JenniferB]

Hi - first off congrats! She has a great guy if he''s already on PS!!!

I am attorney/was the bride (I graduated in ''04 and passed the CA Bar that summer) - while not in your shoes (I was 24 then and still wanting to be on the scene for a little longer...I didn''t get married ''til Nov. ''06) - imho....you will be biting off a HUGE project. Unless, you are having a more casual informal wedding that is for the two of you. (i.e. I had two law school-ites that got married with just the officiant and a witness on a cliff in Malibu, thirty minutes, beautiful spiritual, call it a day). If you are having a formal blowout - you will be so spent on planning and stress the Bar studies will seem SO tedious to you.

Questions to ask yourself anf FI:
1. Do you want to spend your first three months as Newlyweds in your law school library? (I studied from 8 am to midnight everyday and didn''t miss a beat on the Barbri schedule. Idk what your review plans are. I was stressed, cranky, and mean to everyone who did not understand my plight with the Rule of Perps, O to A with BA, Rule of Fertile Octagenarian, you get my point).
2. When you look back in 20 years (hopefully celebrating with a 20 yr anniversary ring of course!) what will you wish you had done?
3. Will you wish you had gotten married and taken off for your honeymoon the next day? (That tradition was really important to me, you should ask your FI what tradtions are really important to her).

With 3 wedding planners, (one main, one ceremony, one reception) I planned a huge wedding in Dallas, TX for approx. 300 people - dinner, dancing, band, florals out the wazoo, designed the programs, invitations, all the bells and whistles, etc - and it took me 6 months and I treated it like a full time job.

I hope this helps you some --- I don''t want to seem bossy! The Bar and the Wedding are two topics I am recently familiar with! Good luck to you, please let me know if I can help in any way, I know it is a big task! Congrats to you both! (And I hope y''all pass!!!!)
Jennifer

 

[bfready]

Great post JenniferB. That''s exactly the kind of advice I was looking for. As far as ceremony size... that''s TBD. Not huge, but not tiny either. Our very tentative honeymoon thoughts were a trip to Orlando with her daughter and my future inlaws. Then they''d take the little one back home and we''d go off to a more romantic place ourselves. Obviously we''re not looking to do that right after the wedding. And the reason I was leaning more toward a May wedding is to have that bit of fun and take the stress of it off my mind before the bar. You make a good point though: Does she want me to disappear for the first two months of marriage? I''ll have to raise that point.

 

[JenniferB]

Thanks Bfready. You have two major milestones before you - so just do it perfect so you both never wish for anything different. Ask you FI what are the most important things to her re wedding/h-moon/newlywed status and mix some of yours in and everyone will be happy. I had a few friends that took a huge vacation after the Bar because you will need one! It also kind of depends on the status of your relationship now - not to pry - just evaluate on your own the following...

If you are already living together, sharing bills, chores, all duties, so the marriage will be nothing more than a "ceremony" - it won''t be that big of a change for you - and your constant studying won''t be as hard on your FI (because she has seen you study in lawschool). If you are not living together, don''t have all paperwork, insurance, etc squared away, aren''t used to being in each other''s face 24 hours a day - marriage will be a big change and her first taste will be you buried in a book. You know?

You could also marry pre-Bar, and take one really nice night in a local hotel with a Honeymoon suite so you both will have a pleasant memory of your wedding day/night - and she will feel special too...instead of just coming home and hanging that dress up in her closet and back to business as usual like any other day!

Keep us posted...and pick a good wedding song!

 

[goldenstar]

I''m a 2L also and should be engaged any day now (hopefully soon). At first, BF and I thought we would get married next fall, a few months after I take the CA bar. However, I decided that I wanted to put all of my energy into studying and then wholly immerse myself in wedding planning afterwards. The result is that we''ll get married in Spring 09. It seems far away, but both events are so important that I didn''t want them to interfere with each other. I also wanted to have the extra time to get a job and save some money before getting married. It would be better that way for obvious reasons. We don''t currently live together so getting married would be a major life change and I don''t want to prepare for that while also preparing for the bar. I''m very happy with our decision because I''ll be able to take my time and enjoy everything. There is no reason for us to be in a hurry so it works.

 

[JenniferB]

Goldenstar,

I wish you the best of luck too! The CA Bar is exactly as brutal as they say it is! Take every prep course you can stomach or afford. DON''T TAKE IT TWICE! I have friends that still have not passed and I took the July ''04 exam. Their spirits and morale are so low it is hard for them to get excited about studying for it.

I had wonderful people guiding me and helping me with tips that had gone through it, please keep in touch on here if you need anything - I have to pay it forward for all the assistance I got...! There was an earthquake on Day 2 afternoon session -

- WHILE WE WERE TAKING THE EXAM - no evacuation, just "continue the testing", be prepared because anything can happen!!!

I agree with you on your timeline, it is exactly how I would do it if in your shoes. So you, esp as the bride, can FOCUS on everything you want to without worrying about memorizing elements and IRAC at the same time. Bleeech - that made me shudder!

 

[codex57]

I vote for well after the Bar. Next Spring is good. Or the next Summer.

It depends on how involved you are expected to be. The Bar will take up ALL your time. So, if you insist, do it before Bar review starts. August/Sept. is last choice cuz you won''t be much use during a pretty critical time. Yes, the most frantic stuff happens the month before, but things might be even more frantic if you weren''t around earlier to take care of some things before they turn into major problems right before the wedding.

Of course, a lot of it is predicated on how big the wedding is. Mine was 300 people so it was a lot of work. If it''s a small casual affair in a backyard, doing it right after the Bar wouldn''t be a big deal.

 

[Gypsy]

I hope for after the bar... but not too long after. July Bar. You get results end of November. I would shoot for late September/ October personally.