empliau
Shiny_Rock
- Joined
- Jun 9, 2022
- Messages
- 449
Any plans due to the current situation in the USA?
- Thread starter seaurchin
- Start date
- Joined
- Mar 2, 2009
- Messages
- 13,261
Is it political to say I’m a queer, femme presenting, immigrant physician and I’m feeling anxious about my safety? My friend got yelled at recently going to the women’s restroom…as a cis woman, because someone felt she looked like a man (she buzzes her hair and is taller than average).
I’m trying to find the line between overreacting out of pessimism but also vigilant in knowing history and being ready to leave if it repeats itself. The majority never predicts the unthinkable until it happens, which I think is human nature. My partner recently got German citizenship (they’re grandparent was Jewish and displaced from Germany during the holocaust) and while Germany is also going through turmoil, at least there’s a much lower number of fire arms in the general population there. And it’s part of the EU so lots of options, and we are both physicians so we could probably find work. I gave up my Chinese citizenship when I got naturalized as American, but certainly would never want to return to Chinese citizenship, it’s definitely scarier there for me.
I don’t want to leave the US, but its a “hope (and fight) for the best, and plan for the worst” mindset for me and many of my lgbtq coworkers right now.
I’ve actually largely stopped participating in this forum since it feels increasingly impossible/irresponsible not to be aware of politics these days.
I’m trying to find the line between overreacting out of pessimism but also vigilant in knowing history and being ready to leave if it repeats itself. The majority never predicts the unthinkable until it happens, which I think is human nature. My partner recently got German citizenship (they’re grandparent was Jewish and displaced from Germany during the holocaust) and while Germany is also going through turmoil, at least there’s a much lower number of fire arms in the general population there. And it’s part of the EU so lots of options, and we are both physicians so we could probably find work. I gave up my Chinese citizenship when I got naturalized as American, but certainly would never want to return to Chinese citizenship, it’s definitely scarier there for me.
I don’t want to leave the US, but its a “hope (and fight) for the best, and plan for the worst” mindset for me and many of my lgbtq coworkers right now.
I’ve actually largely stopped participating in this forum since it feels increasingly impossible/irresponsible not to be aware of politics these days.
We made some changes earlier and are adding to them now. Then, we bought a basic condo in Canada and spend part of each year there. As (USA) retirees, we can't get permanent residency. So we can't stay more than six months per year, unless one of our grown kids ever moves there first. I don't relish the idea of Canadian winters anyway.
But we were able to get permanent residency in Mexico. Now we're looking into buying another basic condo, in Puerto Vallarta, where we'd also spend part of each year. But we'll be limited to the local area, because of all we've heard of the cartels outside of the tourist towns. Mexico would not be my ideal full-time home, either.
We haven't owned a home in the US for several years now. We had hoped to sell the Canada condo and buy a house here but things continue to get shaky so we'll continue moving in the other direction for now, though we'll probably also get a basic condo here. Foreign real estate purchase is also one of few ways to get money out of the country, though it comes with expenses and etc. It's not a perfect plan but the best we could come up with, considering our comfort level and our other various factors.
If we didn't have grown kids here, we'd probably have already permanently moved, maybe to Portugal or New Zealand. But I guess for the near future, we'll end up dividing our time between three basic condos in three different countries, which sounds so loony it cracked me up to even type it but here we are...
The silver lining is... well, isn't that a more interesting retirement than one full-sized house and yard in the boring suburbs, really? Then I think we are very fortunate to even have these options and we're not the ones most at risk anyway. I just don't like the ugly, creepy vibe I feel here now. It reminds me of regretfully feeling the need to pull back from a dysfunctional family or something along those lines. We will be more "international" people for now, loosening, but not cutting, our ties here. We'll also continue to do our small part for improvement and hope things turn around.
But we were able to get permanent residency in Mexico. Now we're looking into buying another basic condo, in Puerto Vallarta, where we'd also spend part of each year. But we'll be limited to the local area, because of all we've heard of the cartels outside of the tourist towns. Mexico would not be my ideal full-time home, either.
We haven't owned a home in the US for several years now. We had hoped to sell the Canada condo and buy a house here but things continue to get shaky so we'll continue moving in the other direction for now, though we'll probably also get a basic condo here. Foreign real estate purchase is also one of few ways to get money out of the country, though it comes with expenses and etc. It's not a perfect plan but the best we could come up with, considering our comfort level and our other various factors.
If we didn't have grown kids here, we'd probably have already permanently moved, maybe to Portugal or New Zealand. But I guess for the near future, we'll end up dividing our time between three basic condos in three different countries, which sounds so loony it cracked me up to even type it but here we are...
The silver lining is... well, isn't that a more interesting retirement than one full-sized house and yard in the boring suburbs, really? Then I think we are very fortunate to even have these options and we're not the ones most at risk anyway. I just don't like the ugly, creepy vibe I feel here now. It reminds me of regretfully feeling the need to pull back from a dysfunctional family or something along those lines. We will be more "international" people for now, loosening, but not cutting, our ties here. We'll also continue to do our small part for improvement and hope things turn around.
Last edited:
- Joined
- May 15, 2014
- Messages
- 5,472
definitely!
- Joined
- Jun 7, 2014
- Messages
- 9,466
@MakingTheGrade, I’m going to try to dance around this so I don’t get banned. I completely understand how you feel and your feelings are justified and even if there weren’t, they are your feelings. You feel how you feel.
The big thing that recently happened emboldens people. This alone makes many people feel unsafe, add all the guns in this country and it intensifies the uneasiness. To many people the country feels unpredictable right now.
Please be watchful of your surroundings and trust your gut instinct. Can you purchase pepper stray to carry with you? I recently asked my husband if it’s legal to carry a stun gun, that could be an option if it’s legal where you are.
You bring so much good into the world with the work you do and the person you are. Try to remember there are many good people here as well. I know it’s hard right now but hopefully things will get easier and better.
I’m with you on feeling it’s irresponsible not having these conversations. They are really important issues.
The big thing that recently happened emboldens people. This alone makes many people feel unsafe, add all the guns in this country and it intensifies the uneasiness. To many people the country feels unpredictable right now.
Please be watchful of your surroundings and trust your gut instinct. Can you purchase pepper stray to carry with you? I recently asked my husband if it’s legal to carry a stun gun, that could be an option if it’s legal where you are.
You bring so much good into the world with the work you do and the person you are. Try to remember there are many good people here as well. I know it’s hard right now but hopefully things will get easier and better.
I’m with you on feeling it’s irresponsible not having these conversations. They are really important issues.
- Joined
- May 23, 2017
- Messages
- 2,173
I really wish I could address this post fully. Since I cannot....I totally understand how you are feeling. So many feel fear and uncertainty. I am so sorry you are dealing with these feelings.
Mreader
Ideal_Rock
- Joined
- Aug 14, 2018
- Messages
- 7,009
100% to all of this
- Joined
- Mar 2, 2009
- Messages
- 13,261
Thanks. I also work with a lot of lgbtq youth as patients and the current climate just makes my heart break for them. I could change my aesthetic to be less visibly “queer/alt” and likely attract less attention to myself, but I feel like I’d be hiding and letting the kids I work with down.
I don’t have pepper spray or mace, but I do have a black belt and a very loud whistle on my keys. I have friends who are former military/security that told me a loud whistle and really bright light is most people’s best defense. It disorients and draws attention and hopefully lets you escape. Also legal to travel with lol.
- Joined
- Jun 17, 2009
- Messages
- 14,273
@MakingTheGrade, I'm very sorry you, and many others, are feeling so unsafe and fearful right now. Hopefully over time things settle down and this current intolerance and prejudice lessens. I dream of a society where people can just be themselves and live in peace. I realize we have a long way to go but I have hope. I'm sending lots of love and support to you. Thank you for all you do to help others, both through your work as a doctor and as a support system to your patients.
- Joined
- Sep 10, 2003
- Messages
- 9,311
No it's not. Sending hugs to you. It's heartbreaking to read your post and know that we are still a society deeply embedded in fear, prejudice, and hate. I am feeling too pessimistic, angry, sad, and frustrated to offer words of hope because that spark is currently sputtering but know that I wish the best for you and wish with all my might that you don't have to uproot your life here.
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2017
- Messages
- 1,786
@MakingTheGrade If you ever want to come to So Cal, let me know. I have oodles of connections in healthcare, plus there's a strong LGBTQ community in both LA and Orange counties.
I know someone who was born in Canada to parents from China, and parents chose Canadian citizenship (can't have dual). They all moved here, then she met a guy and is now in Germany. She has Canadian and German citizenship and is a physician. I know the pay is lower there, but the quality of life seems much better.
On another note, I met a lovely family on vacation a few years ago. Their teen son was transitioning to female, but they were extremely nervous because they're in a red state. Both worked in the legal profession for the US gov't. They were more than willing to do anything for their child. It was sad to listen to the struggles they all faced. I think of them every so often and hope life is good.
I know someone who was born in Canada to parents from China, and parents chose Canadian citizenship (can't have dual). They all moved here, then she met a guy and is now in Germany. She has Canadian and German citizenship and is a physician. I know the pay is lower there, but the quality of life seems much better.
On another note, I met a lovely family on vacation a few years ago. Their teen son was transitioning to female, but they were extremely nervous because they're in a red state. Both worked in the legal profession for the US gov't. They were more than willing to do anything for their child. It was sad to listen to the struggles they all faced. I think of them every so often and hope life is good.
300x240.png)